Adhd symptoms no one talks about:

I cant finish cleaning my room because I can’t organize my desk because I haven’t organized my vanity because I cant organize my vanity because I haven’t organized my closet drawers because I cant organize my closet drawers until I organize my nightstand and I cant do that until I GET A NIGHTSTAND because the space between my really heavy bookshelf full of books and the space between my bed is abnormally narrow BUT TONIGHT WHILE I WAS AT ROSS I found the perfect nightstand so now I can go home and put all the stuff thats supposed to go on and under my nightstand on and under my nightstand and then I can organize the space next to my bed, then I can organize the closet drawers, then im at another impasse because I still need the proper vanity organizational materials; but we have made some achievements tonight boys

i would make an excellent goon. i’d be like ”on it boss” and then i’d fuck it up instantly.

Well well well if it isn't the consequences (dishes) of my own actions (baking)

Thank you to Gretchen McCulloch for fielding this question, and sorry that as a result the world’s foremost internet linguist has been devoured by the brown one. She will be missed.

this is like just a fourth of a whole musical medley addressing that you can’t live like the simpsons anymore. harsh :(

I feel like guy whos only ever listened to weezer a lot lately

putting “lying to kids is ok” on the table immediately looks bad. but theres nuance. because kids deserve to have as much context and respect as anyone else you live with. but also. telling them that leaving doors open will make ants carry away the entire house is necessary until their brains can quantify the heating&air bill

Hi am alive

transfems and nonbinary amab people i am giftng you flowers and buying you dinner and kissing your hand like youre royalty (you are)

there is already a lot of bad poetry out there & u must not be afraid of adding to it

Some of these Night Vale tweets get deep and I love them for that

Yo mama is so kind she is my good friend

i don't know who needs to hear this but if you're having that internal debate of "passing vs looking hot": pick hot. "oh but the cisgenders" don't care. pick hot. "oh but im supposed to-" being trans is about being whoever the fuck you want to. put the shit you were told to rest. pick hot. embrace it. why are you worrying ab people that think a cis man wearing eyeliner is groundbreaking.