i got to know more about this actor thanks to 1n2d. enjoyed his antics plenty there, and went on to be a fan of his acting performance this past year. with how huge his scandal has blown out to the public and the show's history with problematic members on previous seasons, i'm not suprised that 1n2d was one of the first people who dropped him right away.

but now that public has understood more that there are always 2 sides to the story and start listening to his perspectives, i don't get why the show still edited him out so severe it made him out like he's a fucking criminal when he's not.

before e99 got aired, i was more or less understanding. ksh's scandal was an extremely sensitive kind that touches a heck lot of private matter, so it's hard to resolve that in days, or with his explanation alone. them editing him out on the previous 3-4 episodes?pretty understandable tbh.

but with dispatch's 2nd news coming out a few days ago, his name started getting cleared up and public opinion's getting better to voice support for him, i stupidly thought 1n2d would be more lenient on showing him, but never have i thought they'd take it on a whole new level instead, trying to erase his involvement entirely on a meeting scene before the show went to jeju, as if he was not there at all.

.........he's a member who consistently said the show was like a big family to him. he found happiness and comfort in them. and because of that, i was holding some hope that once ksh's healed enough to face public without feeling fearful of everyone's eyes, he'd be able to return to the one place where he feels comfortable the most.

but the latest episode crushed my hope in one go, because it was one thing to reduce his screentime and an entirely different thing to try erasing his existence on the show on a certain scene, further citing that 'minor' changes happened on the show due to his exit from the show.

that's just not...nice. that's not what a supposed family does to its member. i'm upset & disappointed because this show has been a great source of joy since the very first time it aired and i just happened to randomly clicking on the first episode. all members bear different role to the show. there aren't any of them that is considered 'replaceable' nor 'minor' to the show. all of them are just equally important.

the members are forced to not be able to say anything to him leaving that only leaves them to say that there was a minor change to the show, and the show's pretending that everything's fine & well, not even trying to send him a proper farewell when he's done his best for the past 2 years for the show, and with how they treated him like a fucking criminal to the very end....these all simply hurts like hell.

everyone's having a hard time right now. the scandal was not his fault. he's having a hard time enough trying to find courage to resume his career, and no matter how kind he is, when a show he hold dearly treated him like there's no place for him anymore because he was down there dirty with unverified accusations...........my heart just broke for him. he didn't deserve any of this.

it saddens me because e99 shows exactly what the show wants to say to him; that they'll never acknowledge his existence from now on and that means he wouldn't be able to return to the show in a dignified manner, not when he's been disrespected like this.

like i said, everyone's having a hard time rn. him, his co-stars, his filming crews, everyone. some are willing to hold his hand to go through the scandal, so here i was foolishly thinking 1n2d would be doing the same thing.

they were a family afterall.

it's okay to drop him (because that's what ksh wants anyways, he prolly doesn't want to inflict damage any further to them), but with his name getting cleared up, i'm just hoping that they'd at the very least acknowledge his exit properly. that he was a person they've worked with for 2 years long now, and sadly he couldn't continue staying on the show due to things happened these past few weeks. that's more than enough.

but instead of a simple message like that, they freaking try to delete his involvement on meeting for this episode and dares to say his exit was meant as a 'minor' change.....................and i'm just so done with all of this.

i am no longer hoping ksh would be back to the show, and nor i'm thinking the show would be planning to ask for his return when they're disrespecting the hell out of him like this with the latest episode. it's sad that we won't be able to see more of his genuine persona, and i'd certainly miss seeing that, but i'm just hoping for him to go even higher with his career because well, the only way for him now is to go up. the scandal broke everything he has built for more than 10 years long and nothing could ever replace that.

but as an actor, he is still the kind that will not let you down no matter how much expectations you have, and i think it's more than enough at the moment.

it's sad that both him & 1n2d had to end up like they were strangers in the end, but i guess there's just nothing we can do about it😭either ways, i'm just hoping for the best for both the members & ksh🥺♥️

What you need to know before going into episode 15: Kim Seon-ho delivers, as always. This episode is practically a party for his acting performances as Du-shik.

But do I find this episode satisfying on constructing Du-shik's backstory for his trauma?No.

I'm just speechless to find that we've been dragged for so long just to discover how Du-shik was merely a victim of unfortunate circumstances. For some case it'd be easier to accept (more even so if it's complemented with far logical set-up) but the root of Du-shik's trauma essentially doesn't really lie on how he truly brings 'death' to everyone close to him, but instead got twisted into how people around him were insistent on bringing death to him even when he's at no fault for whatever's happening on his past.

He's innocent. Didn't even deserve an ounce of hate or even disgust (like what Do-ha's mother says, in a shameless manner at that) at all.

Do-ha's father case was utterly forced just because the scripwriter's dead-on to set the blame on Du-shik (mostly to make his trauma darker) when he didn't even do anything at all. He has tried dissuading the father, and even told him to not be reckless. The one who didn't listen and got eaten by the greed is the father himself. So tell me why the fuck on the moment Do-ha knew Chief Hong's full name, the first thing he does is to blame on his father's vegetative state on Du-shik?Why?Even though he's fully aware of how Du-shik bears no fault in this?Because it doesn't make sense on the latter narrative, when he came to Du-shik's house, knowing that he used the excuse of only having him as someone to blame for his father's attempted suicide, when he got to grow up better due to Du-shik giving up all of his wealth to move him & his family into a better living environment and even paid his father's hospital bills at that. I can't even be moved at his crying performance because this family is just too shameless when they're aware Du-shik wasn't the one to be blamed. A person fucking got dirt-poor for them even when he's innocent, and the first thing to do is to hit him in front of the whole village?MAKE IT MAKES SENSE PLEASE.

And then Jeong-u's death. Seon-ah literally asked Du-shik to go die on his behalf, and when they met them again, she said what?????She won't apologize for what she said and she didn't resent Du-shik anymore????????????????

I have to say it once again, but Du-shik has no fault in these cases. It's just a mix of unfortunate cases with forced twisted fate with how scripwriter uses truck-of-doom as a tool. Just because Seon-ah lost the will to live, she had no right blaming someone for her husband's death like that. Words bear weight. Just because she was grieving, it doesn't make it right for her to NOT apologize when she should have done that way earlier, when she literally blocked Du-shik for greeting farewell to his hyung for the last time. Grieving doesn't give you a right to inflict pain on someone else and not be sorry about it.

At the very least, she should have known she didn't mean that and apologize for that. But what?She didn't resent him anymore?But why?Du-shik didn't even do anything considered resentful to her though?Because to me those words said by her to Du-shik sounds like she's saying:

You're still responsible for my husband's death, but I have moved on and didn't really resent you anymore. So you should just forgive yourself.

It's beyond frustrating & heartbreaking to me that these people are literally driving Du-shik to believe that he's the one who brings death towards his loved ones, and they didn't even offer him an apology when they all know he's not at fault for whatever shitty happenings occured back then. Do-ha get lived better with his family, doesn't even have to be worried about his dad's hospital bills, got accepted into a job he loves. He's even aware of how Du-shik wasn't someone to be blamed for whatever happened with his dad. Seon-ah, even when it's hard, get to move on with her kid, not even sorry for shitty words she said to someone who just lost someone who was as good as family to him. Didn't even allow him to great his brother-like figure for the last time properly. And all she could offer is that she didn't resent him anymore?

ISN'T IT INSANE FOR HOW FAR THEY'RE PUSHING DU-SHIK TO THE EDGE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT WAS OUT OF HIS CONTROL, AND THE FACT THEY DIDN'T EVEN OFFER HIM APOLOGY????????????

Yes they were in a grieving state. But it doesn't make it right for them to bring this on for years, without trying to offer him a way to be completely free of his trauma, because when they moved on, they left Du-shik behind all alone bearing something he's not responsible for, continuously without a rest for years long.

It makes you think what if they didn't get to come and meet Du-shik this time?Does that mean Du-shik has to feel he didn't deserve to be happy for all the years left in his life?And what is the purpose of having them meet now when they didn't even offer something to relieve him from his trauma?

I loved the imaginary scene of Jeong-u telling things Du-shik needed to hear for the first time in years. But it's extremely heartbreaking, that in the end, the only person who allows Du-shik a way to overcome his trauma was this imaginary meeting-up with Jeong-u.

That scene was touching and all, but ain't it sad that the only person who got to say that he's at no fault for all of these things is someone who has been dead for years now, someone that he considered as his family and yet couldn't even visit his grave properly because what are his loved ones doing to Du-shik.

The scriptwriter has a lot of greed to make a good show. It's totally normal, but I can't help but feeling the whole answer to Du-shik's trauma felt way too forced & underwhelming because I expected more instead of getting the answer that the only thing he's at fault for is being way too overly kind in an otherwise twisted world.

So yeah, I'm plenty suprised that people weren't talking about this enough, when Korea was literally on rage for how shitty the scripwriter handled Du-shik's backstory lol. I share the same sentiment though. But thankfully the preview for final episode looks hopeful enough, and I don't really want to leave this show with a bitter feeling, so here's hoping we'll get our happily-ever-after closure tonight!

after seeing the pre-released scene, i'm really hoping they won't drag du-shik's backstory to the finale. i'm going to be really, and i truly mean REALLY, disappointed if the show tries to shift focus on supporting characters' story like what they always did on previous episodes.

the one that needs closure the most is him, always been him from the start tbh. i'm annoyed enough we only get to see the whole picture tonight, but it's better than nothing i guess.

this drama's supporting characters are not useless. they felt bland on the beginning, but the way all of them got their own depth as the character writing for them got better throughout the show made all them worth to watch. but episode 15 is not the time for them to be given spotlight. this is du-shik's turn. and i'm saying all of this because homcha has a very huge tendency of spending its airtime on trivial stories, and only get to make geniune progress regarding the main leads for the last 5-10 minutes to the epilogue. and i don't want that happening on this episode. pleaseee!

this is probably the best thing about having different perspective, i guess. i still think, to some extent, gongjin people shouldn't have just given du-shik space to heal & wait for him to come around, but also making him 100% aware that they're willing to walk with him throughout the process of him recovering from his trauma, be it through constant reassurance or anything.

but i might have realized just now that perhaps gongjin people have already done that in their own way, like how hwa-jeong being perfectly aware of du-shik having a hard time despite his facade as chief hong, chun-jae who advised him to lean on someone instead 24/7 trying to solve other people's baggage, or deep & thoughtful conversations that happens between him & gam-ri.

it comes down to me that for some people, healing can take a different form to manifest; which in du-shik's case, to have gongjin people calling for his help hence why he becomes an important person in the village. in a way, they call for him endlessly to make sure he's still there, alive & well, to make sure that he hasn't let go of himself yet.

and to some extent, i do feel du-shik is aware of the particular way of these people trying to protect him even when he still has a hard time doing it even now, even when he barely has no idea but still tries to overcome it anyways. that's probably why he has a lot of attachment and is the one who defends the village the most, because to him, this is what all these characters are doing to himㅡprotecting & healing him in their own way.

and that's just the most poignant realization i've had for first time regarding the bond between du-shik & gongjin people, which suprisingly runs deeper than what is seen on the surface level.

ㅡ

many thanks to this post though, it's always a wonderful thing to gain insights from different perspective, since i've got to appreciate the show even more now despite my long rant on the previous episode haha. please read it because it's just so well-written and explains well of gongjin people & du-shik's relationshipㅠㅠㅠㅠ

here's the link for those who want to see it (it's in korean, btw):

https://m.dcinside.com/board/getcha/34678

i can't stop thinking about how the weight of du-shik's trauma is suprisingly tons much heavier than expected and how the hell hye-jin supposed to handle that when she doesn't know how it felt to be placed in his shoes. he had lived such a hard life despite living in what we would call a fairly heartwarming neighborhood, and yet nonetheless still gets trapped by his past no matter how hard he tried to break free from it.

can't stop thinking about such a huge shame it is that his trauma will only get told entirely on episode 15, because i want to see the process of both of them trying to make the relationship work despite their differences on the severity of their personal problems. because let's be honest...the fact that du-shik's alive & breathing now nearly feels like a miracle to me (this hits even harder after seeing the preview😭)

everything just hurts the more i think about du-shik. this is why i hate watching ongoing shows aaaah how the hell will i survive this week feeling constantly depressed over a fictional character's life & his unresolved traumasㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

personal thoughts on e13-14.

Long rant ahead. Be kindly warned.

Huh, this is going to be a very long post & harusnya ditulis dalam bahasa inggris tapi aku gak punya tenaga ngetranslatenya dan sepertinya juga hampir gak ada yang bakal setuju juga soal perspektifku yang satu ini jadi ya sudahlah wkwk. Please take this post with a grain of salt!Tujuannya emang cuma buat unek-unek aja, bukan buat dikoreksi karena aku tau banyak opini punya pandangan berbeda soal apa yang bakal kubacotin di postingan ini kok. Gak dibenerin aja aku udah nyadar, but still. I had to say this.

Personally, aku puas banget sama drama ini sampe episode 10. Menurutku build-up aspek naratif hubungan Du-shik & Hye-jin itu rapih banget, dan hasilnya juga satisfying karena setiap progress hubungan mereka tuh jelas, walaupun ada yang secara implisit diperlihatkannya. Dari episode 11, aku jujur udah mulai cemas karena tendensi penulis untuk mengesampingkan backstory Du-shik yang udah secara subtle diperkenalkan dari beberapa episode sebelumnya tapi sayangnya jalan di tempat dan gak ada perkembangan sama sekali. Menurutku tindakan Du-shik nerima confession Hye-jin tuh keren banget, karena aku merasa dia seakan bilang kalo traumanya gak akan jadi penghalang untuk dia bisa sayang sama seseorang. Dan kita juga liat walaupun langkahnya kecil, Du-shik selalu berusaha untuk gak terperangkap sama traumanya. Tapi yang namanya trauma, apalagi setelah apa yang terjadi di episode kemarin, bukan sesuatu yang bisa sembuh dengan instan gitu aja.

Apalagi trauma Du-shik ternyata lebih serius dan lebih dark dari perkiraanku. Ada yang bilang fakta kalo Du-shik itu alive & breathing sekarang itu aja, udah patut disyukuri. Dan aku setuju sama statement ini. Dia gak sekedar termakan rasa bersalahnya soal kematian orang terdekatnya, ada orang lain yang mungkin sama deketnya dengan dia juga yang bilang harusnya dia mati dan bukan orangnya terdekatnya itu. Belum lagi narasi ayah Do-ha yang punya hubungan sama traumanya. Aku gak bisa bayangin jadi orang yang udah ngalamin kematian keluarganya bahkan di umur yang belum dewasa, lalu ngalamin hal yang sama dan nerima perkataan sekasar bahwa hidupnya cuma bawa sial dan harusnya dia aja yang mati, bukan orang lain. Trauma Du-shik tumbuh bukan hanya karena dia ngerasa ada yang salah sama dia, tapi ada orang lain yang secara sadar menyalahkan eksistensi dia dan jujur aja...itu kejam banget.

Orang gak pernah sadar perkataan sesederhana apapun punya kemampuan untuk bisa ngebunuh orang, dan aku ngerasa sedih karena Du-shik itu seperti yang kita lihat...orang baik yang gak punya tempat sandaran untuk ngungkapin apa yang ada di pikirannya. Saking gak adanya, pas Jeong-u nyiapin peringatan kematian kakeknya dan bicara soal Du-shik, dia langsung nangis karena Jeong-u pasti orang pertama yang peduli sama dia semenjak kematian kakeknya bertahun-tahun yang lalu. Gak cukup kakeknya meninggal, sekarang orang yang dia anggap keluarga sendiri juga ninggalin dia, dan keluarga orang itu nyalahin dia dengan bilang harusnya dia yang mati, bukan Jeong-u.

In short, Hong Du-shik is just a completely broken person at the moment.

Saking broken-nya, dia harus ke psikiater supaya hidupnya lebih manageable, walaupun tiap malam gak bisa tidur karena terlalu terluka sama masa lalunya. Dengan kayak gitu, dia datang ke Gongjin, memulai prinsip untuk gak dekat dengan orang lain lagi dan hidup tanpa mikir masa depan karena dia gak punya harapan untuk itu dan merasa bisa bahagia itu terlalu egois buat dirinya sendiri. Du-shik belajar untuk hidup seadanya, untuk jangan serakah, dan ngabisin waktunya untuk ngebantu orang lain tanpa sadar kalau saat ini dia yang paling butuh bantuan. 3 tahun disana, akhirnya ketemu cewek yang dia suka, yang walaupun bikin dia takut untuk membangun komitmen gara-gara traumanya, akhirnya bikin dia memberanikan diri untuk merasa mungkin ada percahan kebahagiaan diluar sana buat dia sekarang walaupun dia ngerasa dia gak pantas untuk itu. Tapi ironisnya, ending episode 14 sekali lagi bikin dia nyadar; ah iya ya, aku ini orang yang sama sekali gak pantas untuk bisa sebahagia ini.

Terkait penulisan karakter Du-shik saat ini yang kupermasalahkan cuma dua; laju alur penceritaan masa lalu dan traumanya, sama dinamika hubungannya sama Hye-jin yang makin kesini makin menjauh dari apa yang kesebut ideal buat situasi yang dialamin Du-shik saat ini.

Di post sebelumnya, aku udah jelasin kenapa episode 14 tuh ngaco banget; pihak ketiga muncul tiba-tiba gak ada hujan gak ada angin, trauma Du-shik yang ternyata jauh lebih berat dari perkiraan, dan fakta kalo kita baru bisa liat keseluruhannya di episode selanjutnya. Dari episode ini aku udah mulai ngerasa ada cara lebih baik untuk menghadapi trauma Du-shik. Gimana?Ya pelan-pelan tapi pasti. Bukan dikumpulin dalam 1 episode terus masih sibuk cerita karakter lain pula padahal yang ini gak selesai-selesai, akhirnya harus dilanjut di minggu terakhir penayangan drama ini. Klise?BANGET. Ini pertama kalinya aku ngerasa Hometown Cha Cha Cha gagal ngubah aspek klise yang selalu dengan brilian berhasil dilakukan di episode-episode sebelumnya. Harusnya semenjak ada adegan epilog yang dia nangis minta Hye-jin untuk jangan pergi, latar belakang Du-shik juga udah mulai secara serius diceritain dan seenggaknya jadi topik utama episode 11-12. Baru sisanya kita bicarain langkah-langkah penyembuhan dia dari traumanya itu. INI LAJU PLOT YANG PALING IDEALNYA YA.

Dan aku suka kok sama perkembangan karakter-karakter pendukung drama ini. Hwa-jeong makin kesini makin jadi karakter favoritku. Tapi drama ini terlalu sibuk ngasih ruang untuk karakter pendukungnya, yang bikin karakter utamanya jadi terbengkalai. Beberapa minggu sebelumnya aku mikir ah mungkin ini cerita Sik-hye aja yang emang sengaja ditulis slowburn, tapi setelah dipikir-pikir, Hometown Cha Cha Cha punya 160 menit tiap minggunya tapi alokasi waktu yang dikasih ke penceritaan karakter Du-shik tuh dikit banget. Drama ini harus terimakasih sedalam-dalamnya karena mereka punya aktor solid seperti Kim Seon-ho yang punya performa akting mumpuni, yang bisa dengan lihainya bermain lewat ekspresi mikronya tanpa susah-susah untuk bikin kita sadar Du-shik itu gak sesederhana yang kita pikirkan.

Mentang-mentang labelnya healing drama, bukan berarti memerankan seseorang seperti Hong Du-shik itu perkara yang mudah. Di episode 13-14 aku baru sepenuhnya sadar soal ini. Karena kalo diperhatikan lebih dekat, meskipun jadi karakter utama, karena penulisnya gak becus membangun laju alur penceritaan latar belakang karakter utama cowok kita ini, pengetahuan kita soal Du-shik sepenuhnya bergantung sama performa Kim Seon-ho yang utamanya berfokus ke perubahan dan detail gestur & ekspresinya yang sangat minim dialog hampir 12 episode lamanya. Sebagai orang yang mulai mengikuti perjalanan karir akting aktor satu ini selama hampir setahunan terakhir sih aku senang-senang aja ya. Liat perfoma aktor ganteng tapi akting bagus tuh istilahnya berkah lah buat yang nonton, siapa yang gak suka kan?Tapi itu bukan berarti aku bisa mengabaikan kapabilitas penulis yang harusnya bisa ngasih penjelasan yang gak cuma bergantung sama aktornya gini dong. Konteksnya mana?Kenapa baru mau diceritain di episode 15?Kalo ini drama punya 20 episode mah oke aja ya ngebangun laju plot selambat ini. LAH INI UDAH MINGGU TERAKHIR PENAYANGAN WOE.

Apa yang bakal terjadi kalo kita akhirnya dapet keseluruhan latar belakang Du-shik di episode 15?Masa lalu sama trauma dia akhirnya bisa mulai disembuhin, tapi proses nyembuhinnya cuma 1 episode, di episode terakhir doang. Gila gak tuh?Mungkin aku yang gila, terlalu percaya sama drama ini untuk konsisten jadi drama healing yang minim stress & konflik. Jalan penyembuhan karakter Du-shik ngingetin aku sama apa yang terjadi di It's Okay, That's Love (2014); dimana ada karakter Jang Jae-yeol yang diperanin Jo In-sung dalam drama itu yang juga mengangkat tema kesehatan mental, yang mana di dalam ceritanya Jae-yeol diterangkan sedang mengidap penyakit yang namanya Skizofrenia. Di drama itu, 4 episode terakhir dihabiskan untuk fokus ke penyembuhan Jae-yeol. Lebih baiknya lagi, Jae-yeol punya support system yang jauh lebih solid dibandingkan Du-shik yang walaupun sekarang udah punya pacar, tapi belum bisa mendukung dia sepenuhnya karena Hye-jin masih gak tau apa-apa. 14 episode habis gitu aja dan Du-shik masih dengan susah payah menghadapi traumanya tanpa ada orang yang bisa dijadikan tempat bersandar.

Iya ada nenek Gam-ri yang ngasih dia saran, iya ada Hye-jin yang mutusin dia bakal nunggu. Tapi gak ada seorang pun, baik dari Gongjin maupun orang yang terlibat di masa lalu dia dan sekarang, yang bisa tanpa bilang apa-apa reach out ke dia, sadar kalau apa yang dia alamin saat ini terlalu susah buat dihadapi sendiri, atau hanya sekedar duduk di samping dia untuk nemenin dia supaya dia gak terlalu ketakutan untuk bisa ngelawan traumanya. Gak ada. Gak ada yang menawarkan dia pelukan walaupun cuma sebentar dan tanpa alasan. Gak ada yang bisa dijadiin tempat dia pergi dan nangis sepuas-puasnya karena semua orang maunya dia cerita traumanya dulu baru nangis. Semua orang maunya dia terbuka dulu baru mendekat. Sedih gak sih?BANGET ANJIR.

Banyak yang applause Hye-jin untuk bisa berani nunggu Du-shik siap untuk cerita semuanya, muji-muji hubungan mereka sehat banget. Di sepanjang 10 episode lamanya aku pun merasa mereka cocok banget. Di episode 14 aku tiba-tiba nyadar mungkin mereka gak secocok yang aku pikirin. Du-shik dan Hye-jin tuh karakternya distinctive banget. Du-shik fleksibel, Hye-jin enggak dan teguh sama pendiriannya. Du-shik terbuka soal pemikiran baru, Hye-jin tertutup dan lebih diperparah sama narrow-mindednessnya di awal cerita. Tapi sama-sama mereka berubah dan berkembang. Tapi yang namanya perkembangan, pasti ada batasnya dimana kita gak bisa mengubah suatu trait sesulit apapun itu, dan ini keliatan jelas dari Hye-jin dari episode kemarin.

Ada yang pernah bilang walaupun beda tapi pada akhirnya mereka mirip kok. Dan aku gak melihat kemiripan itu sama sekali di episode kemarin. Untuk bisa sayang sama orang yang sudah hancur berkali-kali kayak Du-shik, dia butuh orang yang bisa menawarkan tempat untuk dia bisa merasa nyaman tanpa harus merasa terburu-buru membuka traumanya. Dia butuh orang yang pengertian, yang cermat untuk ngelihat perubahan mental state dia, yang bisa mengenali dia tanpa harus bilang apa-apa.

Tapi dinamika hubungan Du-shik dan Hye-jin saat ini malah gak mengarah kesitu. Iya mereka cerita satu sama lain, iya Hye-jin dengan sifat aslinya yang bukan orang super sabaran, akhirnya bisa seenggaknya ngasih space ke Du-shik, tapi pemberian ruang itu di aku malah terasa lebih menyesakkan karena walaupun bilang dia akan nunggu Du-shik buat cerita, aku merasa Hye-jin belum sepenuhnya sadar kalau yang dihadapin Du-shik bukan hal yang gampang dikeluarkan gitu aja. Artinya, walaupun tindakannya bilang dia sudah berkembang dari orang yang gak punya kesabaran yang banyak, Hye-jin masih stuck di warna karakternya yang dulu; yang belum bisa sepengertian seperti Du-shik yang bisa melonggarkan idealismenya saat dia berpikir itu adalah hal yang baik buat kepentingan orang bersangkutan.

Dengan memberikan ruang yang dia pikir dibutuhkan Du-shik, bukannya merasa ditemani, aku merasa dia ninggalin Du-shik sendirian untuk berhadapan sama traumanya. Makanya aku merasa hubungan mereka canggung banget di episode 14. Mereka sama-sama sedang mengalami masa yang sulit, tapi Hye-jin mutusin buat cuma nunggu sedangkan Du-shik merasa dia gak pantas buat Hye-jin karena gak bisa cerita soal traumanya. Apa yang orang anggap sebagai tindakan paling pengertian dari Hye-jin, malah terasa seperti tindakan yang gak memberikan efek apa-apa ke Du-shik. Inget, ini buatku pribadi ya.

Aku rasa aku lebih sedih karena Du-shik adalah tipe orang yang selalu membantu menyelesaikan masalah orang lain. Meskipun merasa gak punya hak buat hidup tenang dan bahagia, Du-shik punya pemikiran sederhana tentang membiarkan orang lain untuk gak mengalami hal yang sama, sibuk memberikan saran (yang semuanya benar btw) supaya orang lain bisa melanjutkan hidup yang jauh lebih baik dari apa yang dia punya. Itu juga yang dia lakuin di episode 13, pas dia ngasih sarah ke Geum-cheol. Saat ketemu karakter seperti ini, aku mau pasangannya adalah seseorang yang bisa ngasih dia bantuan sebanyak apa yang dia kasih ke orang lain. Orang yang punya standar pengertian yang sama kayak dia, yang tau cara mendukung dia walaupun dalam diam. Sebelum kita diperkenalkan sama fakta kalau trauma Du-shik ternyata lebih berat dari perkiraan, aku merasa dia sama Hye-jin adalah pasangan yang bisa saling melengkapi satu sama lain. Mereka punya banyak hal untuk belajar dari satu sama lain. Tapi walaupun baru diperlihatkan serpihan cerita traumanya, aku merasa saat ini orang yang paling dibutuhkan Du-shik bukan orang yang ngajak dia bicara tenang-tenang dan terlepas dari sifat gak sabarannya rela nungguin dia buat keluar dari traumanya, tapi orang yang bisa meluk dan stay disamping dia walaupun dia sedang kesulitan menghadapi sisi tergelapnya sendiri.

Inilah kenapa aku berharap Hye-jin seenggaknya tahu kalo Du-shik sedang gak baik-baik aja. Inilah kenapa aku berharap penulis meninggalkan tanda-tanda buat Hye-jin, supaya dia bisa mengenali lebih awal kalo orang yang dia sayangi bukan sekedar gak bisa cerita, tapi memang gak pernah punya orang untuk jadi tempat pelepasan emosinya. Tapi saat ini, Hye-jin bukan orang kayak gitu buat Du-shik, karena walaupun udah diceritain kalo Du-shik pernah mengalami masa sulit saat dia pertama datang ke Gong-jin, yang dia lakuin adalah pikirin tenang-tenang dan ngasih Du-shik waktu. Bukannya meluk Du-shik untuk sekadar mengingatkan dia kalo sekarang dia punya Hye-jin di samping yang siap mendukungnya selalu.

Menyayangi orang yang sudah hancur berkeping-keping emang gak mudah. Dan gak bisa dengan cuma memberikan dia ruang. Gak bisa dengan fakta bahwa kita hanya bisa menawarkan pelukan setelah dia cerita semuanya karena apa yang diceritainnya itu pengalaman traumatis terbesar yang dia alamin (dan ternyata masih terus berlanjut sampe sekarang setelah kita liat ending episode 14) selama 35 tahun hidupnya. Beban Hye-jin untuk jadi orang se-selfless itu memang berat. Tapi saat ini dia memang sedang menyayangi dan menolong orang yang terlalu selfless sampai gak bisa mikirin diri dia sendiri, dan itu memang konsekuensi punya hubungan dengan karakter seperti Du-shik. Dan aku sedih dia gak bisa jadi orang itu buat Du-shik, yang saat mereka berbicara pun Du-shik jelas terlihat cemas, merasa bersalah, dan takut, walaupun Hye-jin sudah memutuskan untuk menunggu. Dia gak cuma butuh orang untuk nunggu, dia juga butuh orang untuk meluk dia dan bilang; aku tau kamu lagi kesulitan ngehadapin ini semua, tapi sekarang kamu gak sendirian, sekarang ada aku dan aku gak akan kemana-mana kok. kita hadapin bareng-bareng aja ya. kalo kamu siap, kamu bisa cerita semuanya. pelan-pelan aja, gausah terburu-buru.

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Aku tau personal take aku soal hubungan mereka berdua pasti bukan sesuatu yang pengen didenger sama mayoritas. Aku tau betul kalo aku egois untuk berharap Hye-jin bisa melakukan lebih untuk Du-shik padahal dia sudah berusaha semampunya. Tapi yang namanya nonton drama, poin-poin yang kita anggap sesuai dengan keinginan kita emang jarang terjadi. Aku merasa Du-shik saat ini itu terlalu hancur untuk bisa memulai sesuatu dengan orang yang gak bisa sepenuhnya memberikan dia tempat untuk bersandar dan menangis. Aku harap aku salah sih, karena walaupun sebegini keselnya sama episode kemarin, seenggaknya kita bisa lihat closure masa lalu Du-shik di episode 15, yang kalo bisa, jangan dilanjutin ke episode terakhir. Kalo iya, penulisnya udah keterlaluan sih menurutku :)

I do expect Du-shik's past to be complicated, but I don't like this type of 'complicated' that only pushed him right into the corner and instead making him more miserable because not only Hye-jin hasn't completely understand what was going on with her boyfriend to even try overcoming this with him, now you're telling me we have a freaking 3-years-long incident unfinished because apparently Do-ha's father VERY SUDDENLY is involved with Du-shik's past and that ending?Can we just cut Du-shik some slack WHY IS THE WRITER HELL-BENT ON HURTING HIM FURTHER LIKE THIS INSTEAD OF GIVING HIM TIME TO HEAL??????????????????

I'm also not liking how Do-ha's suddenly pushed into the centre out of nowhere. This isn't it. He's not even an important character before this episode, and now that ending?????

Do I hate the plot twist?No. But if you want to do it, do it EARLIER. Lay out the backstory gradually instead of leaving everything to Kim Seon-ho's masterful microexpression for 12 episodes long and then suddenly dumping pieces of it on episode 13 & 14, and now even had the guts to have it continued to the finale week. This is just...way too much. I'm beyond speechless how a character like Du-shik still hasn't got his backstory told when it's one of the most important focus on the show. The show's supposed to reveal it slowly and let him take time to heal but how the fuck will he do that when his past isn't even solved at the moment???????????Are you freaking serious of not giving this character a break from his constant fear & trauma for what will be 15 episodes long and save the last episode to show him recovering right away without a proper process to it?Why the hell they even show him going to therapist then????Is it only there to serve as a sign that he's not okay????Because I want the show to take Du-shik's arc seriously for once, and not just use it as a some potential tearjearking subplot. Call this a healing show all you want, but I'm growingly frustrated by how the show's straight up refusing to take care of its main character's arc and instead dragging the hell out of it like this while being busy trying to woven all the supporting characters' story when it's the main lead who needs to borrow the spotlight to explain themselves the most at the moment. Do I not care about the rest of characters?I FUCKING CARE ABT THEM (how incredibly ironic that I thought the previous episode did such a good job constructing the side characters' story) BUT PLEASE FINISH DU-SHIK'S ARC FIRST BEFORE SHIFTING THE FOCUS ON THEM. I can't believe we have 80 minutes to talk about Du-shik's trauma and how the past got to be revealed and yet not even half is spent on that. And now they want to bring this into episode 15?

Why are being like this, show?I mean I knew I had unrealistic expectation for hoping homcha to be different compared to those formulaic romcoms in terms of resolving the conflict, and it hurts to see it failing them for the first time since I first watched this show. I've never been this disappointed, truly.

And I don't like seeing how not even Hye-jin, after witnessing Du-shik in his most fragile state, didn't even bother to give him a hug for once. The man's obviously hurting, but it pains me that instead of giving him place to lean on, they kept talking about taking a break, or how she originally doesn't have patience but is willing to wait for him. Others may have been calling this a perfect depiction of 'healthy' relationship, and while I love how both of them are so open whenever they're talking to each other, sometimes not every single thing has to be spoken, and simply being there to support him is more than enough. Just hug the guy for once, he looked so anxious throughout this episode, even when they were talking and I'm sad that no one tries to come closer to finally support him without asking anything and stop being a mere bystander.

Does that mean that I don't see Hye-jin being hurt by this too?No. But at the moment...even when she has someone to lean on after the first scene through Hwa-jeong, Du-shik's still left alone feeling anxious & sorry for how his trauma's preventing him to be happy with Hye-jin. And seeing the glimpse of the preview...isn't it sad that we've been with him for 14 episodes and not even someone he loves at the moment could offer him some assurance that it's going to be fine. Because well, it's not. And that just makes things tons much worse than it already is.

Whatever's going to happen, let it happen. I just realized that the more I have expectation for this show for this week particularly, the more I feel let down by it. It's sad that I will not get to see the whole process of Du-shik's properly recovering from his trauma, but at least I'll know the complete story next week and stop feeling like my heart would break every moment he's shown on the screen. I'm not even expecting the romance now. The tone shift of their relationship between last week and now is way too off. I'm all in for a mature relationship, but at the very least, I was hoping Hye-jin to be more understanding and just stay with him no matter how hard it is. But I'm perfectly aware that these two are just different in terms of personality & mindset. Hye-jin wasn't someone that could offer a thing when she doesn't know where she stands on their relationship, and I'm expecting too much of her for being the so-called 'bamboo forest' for Du-shik just like what Hwa-jeong said, when she's still clueless about the future of both of them from now on. But still can someone just...I don't know...hug Du-shik for once?I'm feeling absolutely weirded out at how I spent a major part of today tearing up thinking about him because every single bit about this character just hit way too close to home and it was just so heartbreaking and yet relatable for me😭😭😭😭

I'm so mad (well now got to cool down quite a bit after writing all of these🙂👍) that I just had to write this down. I don't know if y'all understand my perspective for this episode, but just this is merely a personal opinion of mine. And fyi, I'm a person who had just said in my previous post that this show has been a constant joy for the past few weeks that I nearly feel like I'm living for it sometimes lol. Seems like being a clown is my daily job whenever I'm watching dramas these days🤡

I kept wishing instead of just directly bringing up Du-shik's problem and let the confrontation scene happens at this episode, Hye-jin would gradually notice there's something seemingly off with Du-shik from earlier episodes and actually started to take signs for it. It can be anything really; like how he has constant nightmares, the tendency of him going to Seoul often, accidentally founding him to be in contact with a therapist, hearing more stories about him from Gongjin people that indicates the fact that right now, Du-shik is in pain and has his personal struggle battling his trauma.

And I'm not talking about how she has spoken about Du-shik telling his story for the first time on ep 10, or how she's telling him outright that she never knows anything about those 5 years phase. I'm talking about real and genuine scenes where she's deep in thought of why Du-shik's becoming more and more stranger the more she thinks about it, and how there are clear signs for it. I was hoping she'd take a serious note of that particular scene of him crying telling her not to leave (idk if she remembers it though), because that could be a start for her to start caring about his whole being and noticing details that may have been left out.

I feel like I want her to be the one that not only take a direct way of confronting him about his hidden scars (when it eventually happens like the ending on this episode), but also the one who more or less knows that he's not fine at the moment, and that it's not because of her, but because he simply needs more time to heal. I guess watching the realization that a person that she always thought as someone who only knows how to help and give warmth to everyone but unfortunately not to himself would be more heartwrenchingly executed for me if only Hye-jin realizes there's just something broken about Du-shik, even in a tiniest bit, before confronting him on episode 13.

Du-shik is healing...but he's taking baby steps throughout the process, and it's (personally) incredibly frustrating that only us audiences knew that. He tells her about his grandpa's death (and the guilt that comes after it), he accepts her confession (which is a pretty huge thing for a man who considers loving someone means to eventually being left by them), to even telling her a brief description of his previous job. It's small steps, but he's gradually opening up, and she has known more than anyone in Gongjin has ever done in the past 3 years. We're seeing all of these from his perspective, and to some extent, I get why some people are frustrated or disappointed at Hye-jin for seemingly forcing someone like Du-shik who has been bottling everything inside for years to open up as if it was that easy to be done. We all know it's NOT, and we all know Hye-jin's not wrong too for feeling upset that she barely knows a thing about the man she's in love with.

That is why I can't stop thinking those what-ifs where Hye-jin's keen enough to notice more, and so she understands more, instead of having Hwa-jeong in the preview telling her that for some people, sharing details about themselves is not an easy thing. Unknowingly I can't help but expecting her to offer the same level of understanding that came from Du-shik so far (guy has top-tier emotional intelligence that he can't stop helping everyone else except himself pls), because I think that's what Du-shik needs at the moment. For someone to just notice and still understands, while walking through with him during the whole process.

I'm not blaming Hye-jin because to be frankly she's been written that way from the start, but I guess having expectations about direction for these two's relationship is also something that most of us do when we're watching shows we love, and whatever's happening on tonight's episode, I'm hoping it wouldn't be something that just straight up forcing Du-shik to expose his deepest fear just because he's afraid someone's going to leave him. I just want to give him time if that's what he needs, and watch him grow & heal from whatever's holding him back (which seems pretty impossible because they're dragging the hell out of this, how nice it'd be if we're gradually shown his backstory from episode 7/8 instead of Kim Seon-ho doing god's work every single episode to tell us through his detailed acting performances there's something seriously going wrong with Du-shik).

But I had to admit I've been pleasantly suprised at how well-paced this show is going though, aside from the dragginess that comes from Du-shik's backstory. I also trusted Shin Ha-eun enough to resolve Du-shik's arc well because this show has been nothing but a great source of joy to me these days. Almost feels like I'm living for it sometimes lol.

Either way, for Hye-jin & Du-shik, just be happy PLEASEEEEEEE.

sumpah ga bisa berenti mikirin soal how does it feel to live with trauma and still nonetheless makes conscious effort to be happy by slowly trying to overcome the said trauma, just like what du-shik did in homcha.

gak bisa bayangin punya ketakutan yang melekat ke diri sendiri, saking melekatnya gak bisa tidur tenang, saking dalamnya, sekalipun sayang sama seseorang, tapi di saat yang sama takut orang itu bisa ninggalin kita dalam sekejap karena sudah biasa beranggapan eksistensi diri sendiri bawa sial.

setelah nonton episode 12 dan liat ending scenenya, yang tersisa di pikiran tuh rasanya sedih sesedihnya buat du-shik. di saat hye-jin ngerasa bahagia banget yang emang normal banget lah ya karena mereka baru mulai pacaran, dia masih tersandera sama traumanya, entah itu lewat mimpi buruknya atau kejadian gak sengaja ketemu senior kampusnya. dan itu semua berasa kek wake-up call aja gitu; jadi bikin dia ragu like; do i deserve to be this happy?do i have the right?

makanya pas dia nyatain perasaan di pantai, bukannya manis kok aku malah sedih. si seon-ho aktingnya pake kelewatan bagus lagi😭👍

saking bagusnya di momen pas dia bilang 사랑해 ke hye-jin tuh aku merasa du-shik kek bilang;

aku gatau kita bisa berapa lama kek gini, gatau kapan kamu bakal ninggalin aku sama kayak yang terjadi dengan orang2 tersayangku dan jujur aku takut, tapi untuk saat ini, aku mau egois untuk bilang aku beneran sayang sama kamu'.

GIMANA AKU GAK BERKACA-KACA HAAAAAAA🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭

baru kali ini nonton kissing scene tapi malah sedih berkepanjangan, ngegalauin karakter fiksi gara-gara sabtu gak datang-datang huft.

entah aku terlalu immersed sama dramanya, tapi udah lama banget gak ngerasain emotional attachment se-deep ini sama karakter cowok di dunia perdrakoran. padahal klise tapi eksekusi character writing & kompleksitas yang semakin muncul dari performa akting kim seon-ho emang bagus banget. rasanya bisa se-relate ini menurutku thanks to aktor yang meranin sih.

padahal backstory & emotional depth untuk du-shik itu kurang dieksplor sampe sekarang; buktinya kita sama gak taunya soal dia, barengan sama hye-jin yang bahkan udah jadi pacar. tapi potrayal karakter du-shik tuh tetep gak berasa one-dimensional; dia gak bilang apa-apa kita bisa tau dia juga bisa kesepian dan merasa tergantikan kayak di episode 7-8 kemarin, bisa kelihatan care-nya ke hye-jin dengan caranya sendiri entah lewat gestur sederhana kek benerin lampu jalan atau ngasih dia tanaman herbal yang bagus buat lehernya. dan dari episode 12, kita belajar dia bisa takut & cemas karena merasa apa yang dia punya sama hye-jin itu bisa hilang kapan aja, gara-gara traumanya sendiri.

aku merasa mereka gak akan putus sih. du-shik, walaupun punya trauma, tetep orang yang cerdas. hye-jin juga begitu. kecuali ada trigger baru untuk traumanyaㅡmisalnya tiba-tiba hye-jin kecelakaan dan itu bisa aja terhindari kalo aja dia ada disana, mereka bakal baik-baik aja, hopefully. meski baru di awal, mereka tau apa yang mereka butuhkan supaya hubungan mereka langgeng; selalu terbuka untuk mengakui kesalahan dan bicara baik-baik untuk menghindari kesalahpahaman. tapi yang jelas emang satu; hye-jin harus beneran sabar untuk nunggu supaya du-shik siap nyeritain semuanya ke dia.

karena itu gak mudah.

gak mudah untuk ngakuin ke orang yang paling kita sayang, kalau diri kita sendiri bisa bawa 'kematian' untuk mereka. gak mudah untuk ngakuin sepertinya ada yang salah sama kita, dan dengan tetep ada di sisi kita, mereka yang bakal dalam bahaya.

gak bener?iya gak bener. tapi du-shik gatau itu. dan belum lagi masih ada trigger traumanya yang belum diceritain, sesuatu yang bikin dia tiba-tiba pulang ke kampungnya dan menghilang gitu aja, mutusin kontak sama teman-temannya tanpa bilang apa-apa. yang pasti menurutku bakal sedih sih, tapi aku tetep ngantisipasiin bagian ini karena sudah saatnya du-shik belajar lepas dari traumanya.

karena dia gak sendirian lagi sekarang.

udah ada hye-jin kok, yang siap nemenin dia dan nerangin jalan dia, supaya bisa lebih bahagia untuk melanjutkan hidup. kalo soal itu aku gak ragu sih.

pertanyaanku sekarang cuma satu: EPISODE 13 KAPAN TAYANGNYAAAAAAAAA

random thoughts on hye-jin and du-sik’s inevitable love

despite being two people who pride themselves in being straightforward and frank, these two find comfort in denying the truth. They tease, they taunt, they ignore, but they also steal glances, they drink in any information they can get about the other, they orbit around one another, they draw lines but find themselves spending more time together, they worry,

they dance, denying they are swaying to the music. They lean in the way flowers lean towards the sun–naturally like gravity with no questions asked, only the inevitability of falling in love. And despite being opposites, they are in complete agreement in staying blind.

Because if they start to call it for what it is, they’d have to feel it, and if they’d have to feel it, theyll have to face their fear of eventually letting go, and that’s not something they can do anymore. So for the meantime, this isnt love. This is not love at all. This is just a passing by of two strangers who refuse to see they’ve finally found a home.

What's particularly charming about Vincenzo as the lead character of Vincenzo (2021) for me is how he's somehow in the middle of this very thin line between evil and good. The first scene of the pilot episode shows that he could be as ruthless as he wants to take care of what needs to be done, even when there are less extreme ways to do it 'nicely'. He perfectly knows that there are enemies loaming over his back, yearning for a chance to finish him off, and is still able to outwit them easily at once. He kills people without a bat of an eyeleash and for a good reason at that. But then again, once he arrived in Korea, you'd know that the moment he tries to let go the amount of excessive alertness & awareness that are needed when he's in Italia, he became this clumsy person who managed to get conned at the first day he's back in the country, got entangled into hilarious situations nonstop that results him cursing out the damned fate of his at every chance lmfao. But even when faced in front of these happenings, Vincenzo doesn't do anything close to harm people. He's polite, knows how to be respectful, and when he directly met an opponent that needs to take a beating, he do what needs to be done, and doesn't simply stand there like an unlucky fool the first episode has made him to be.

These two sides of him is pretty intriguing as there's a balance between what counts as evil and good within him. He's complicated in the most refreshing sense possible, and as an antihero at that. You can't call him a nice guy because he could be dirtier than any horrible person in the show combined, but he wasn't a villain who happens to have an anger-management issues that simply acts as an overall douchebag that considered as an absolute trash within the show. He's not the usual michievous & crazy hero who gets the upper hand due to the same trait of theirs, and he's not terrible in a way an antagonistic character is commonly written. Vincenzo at last, is a perfectly sane character who bears evilness that is pratically used for specific purposes (for defeating more of evil characters in this particular show) and the goodness as he still knows the stark difference between them. It's like showing that doing terrible deeds doesn't mean a complete loss of his humanity, and that sometimes being bad is necessary to maintain the good. Which is the core plot of this whole show, now that I've realized. Wow. I know he's already my favorite character (Song Joong-ki holds the defining key here but I'll take about his performances later when we get more episodes), and the way he is presented as of now is more than good already. Now that I finished the whole rant, I can't wait for more backstory on his character next week!

shit han ji pyeong says

and that's the biggest reason i don't get WHY he's the so-called 'second lead'. you don't just build a well-written character like this without expecting us to root for him. a mere second-lead isn't supposed to have a complete package of thorough & proper backstory, palpably good character growth, consistent characterization, and endless charm like him. even when they're seemingly perfect, they often miss that 'connection' that brought them to the FL, hence why they 'lose' to the ML. or that they were intentionally written as bad near at the end of the show to make the FL realizes she have to choose the ML. but hjp isn't the case. and it's terribly painful as hell to be reminded over and over again that he's not the 'first lead' while some of us know that he is in fact the one who pulls the story through.

i may not be a fan of park hye-ryun's writing, but i do see traits of why they come be widely loved works. the way she writes the connection between the FL and ML has always been intricately beautiful. so why would she instead give those to him & Dal-mi and NOT expect us to want them to be the endgame?i thought her writing is better than this. and she is supposed to be BETTER than this whole mess of a show.

Jipyeong gets a lot of justification in the narrative. Time is taken to truly justify Jipyeong. It’s a lot of attention on the second male lead. Usually they disappear and only reappear as a plot device. You really see him in Start Up. Not only because he’s the hot guy in the room or because the narrative can’t move without him but because every emotion by him is seen. We don’t have to wonder anything. We see everything with him. And that everything hurts.

What the Heck Happened with Start-Up

Inevitably, this discussion revolves around Ji Pyeong a lot.  But he’s not the only character affected by the choices made by the writer.  Dal Mi and In Jae’s stories got messed up, too. Even in a way, Do San’s.

People who are reading this because of my JiPyeong theories:  I’m sorry to say this, but make no mistake, this writer-director duo did not hurt Do San in Ep. 12 to leave Ji Pyeong unscathed (Ji Pyeong also suffered in Ep. 12, but only over his mentor role - not the romance.)

IMO there’s pretty much 0 chance he is the romantic endgame. And to be honest, I think the only thing standing in the way of Ji Pyeong’s character assassination after the time-skip is Knetz.

Let’s get to the analysis.

Keep reading

NeZha (2019) dir. Yu Yang (as Jiaozi)