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#inner panic
tanema123 · 15 days
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Emily emo faze design, for @seramilla au.
With a bit of extra juice...
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Why do I keep drawing, I'm on vacation... Eh, who cares. I love drawing, it calms me down. Now I'm extra calm.
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anakirui · 28 days
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hot take ??
the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.
it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)
anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.
they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.
for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.
for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.
their insecurities are incredibly similar.
in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.
in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.
just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.
now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.
for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.
mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.
tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.
and even then, there's some overlap.
tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.
mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.
and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.
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mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.
tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.
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mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.
tsukasa has not yet cut his.
#project sekai#colorful stage#prsk#tsukasa tenma#mafuyu asahina#mafukasa#theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators#or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair)#or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies#and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had#their first mixed events together#or how they both easily overwork theirselves#or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm#ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story#I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE .#EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT#theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2#literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother.#wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity#wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena)#wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in#the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell)#wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and#helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better#and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue#which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest#not when he thinks it will burden other people#and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings#(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean)#EDIT: 5/22/24 I CANT ADD ANYMORE TAGS FUCK
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amelia-yap · 4 months
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through the heart!
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hypewinter · 10 months
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Right so what if Danny became a psychologist instead of Jazz?
His friends and family died protecting him. So when he runs away and starts a new life, he adopts traits from all of them (both as a way of grieving and a way to honor them). For Tucker and Sam, Danny splits his free time between being a white hat hacker and a vocal environmental activist. For his parents, he adopts more of their eccentric personality. When he's not in a professional setting, he is loud and in your face about the latest thing he's been working on (he's also just about the most loyal person you can meet).
And for Jazz, his precious big sister, Danny decides to excel in the career path she never got the chance to enter. He resolves to fulfill her goal of helping out those society has deemed irredeemable. The ones nobody else can or wants to help. The first one he starts with, is the Joker.
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savagechickens · 2 months
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Choose.
And more choice.
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ennieasys · 2 months
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*fixes binder* My chest is flatter now but not as much as I was hoping... *takes it off*
*gags in gender dysphoria*
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lucascsinclairs · 2 years
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Lumax + ‘Midnight Rain’
He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. All of me changed like midnight.
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elialys · 6 days
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~
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coldercreation · 2 months
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Sometimes I think crappy shit like
if I was a shelter dog, would they just put me down because it’d be too much work to rehabilitate me?
But then I remind myself that I’m my own rescue and this is a no-kill shelter
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a-room-of-my-own · 9 months
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I had a huge breakthrough in therapy yesterday so yay for me but the downside is that I feel like I’ve been run over by a train
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arlenelperez · 26 days
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Screaming on the Inside
I present as calm and collected
I appear to have it all together
I calendar out my life
But I'm at the end of my tether.
Inwardly, darkness overtakes me
Dark cloudy days never seem to end
I'm shrouded in a fog of depression
Anxiety becomes my best friend.
I feel isolated and alone
Craving touch and affection
Like I'm lost on a deserted island
Desolate, detached without connection
Outwardly, I wear a smile
It's my mask for all to see
While I'm screaming on the inside
Desiring to escape for eternity!
Copyright by Arlene L. Perez on May 7, 2024
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starry-pierrot · 1 month
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way to go elbow just be a pain for a week for no reason and make me believe I have done something seriously wrong and im gonna lose my ability to draw
not like i have a terrifying pit deep paranoia about that at aaaaallllllllllll
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thatfaerieprincess · 7 months
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Aaaaaaaa tattoo???????????? Maybe??????
#I reached out to a tattoo artist last night and she got back to me this afternoon#and I’m !!!!!!!!!!#I’ve never gotten this far#I’ve just dreamt about it for years#and never actually taken the next step#and I haven’t like booked an appointment or anything#but I’ve contacted her and confirmed her books are open and she would be interested and on my basic description about what price range#holy shit#my whole chest tightens up and I like panic response any time I think about it#and my friend had to sit on the phone and encourage me to hit send on the email#and I don’t know if that’s a sign I should just not do it but also I’ve wanted one for so long but do I actually or just the idea of one????#but also!!!!! I’ve had so many fucking god damn needles in my life#it would be kinda nice to finally have some that I CHOOSE#anyway!!! maybe getting a tattoo this winter????#maybe????#I haven’t booked or anything yet but#I rlly like her art style and her books are open during the window I’m home#idk how to navigate this around my mom while I’m home but#I think I’ve almost settled on a black line cecropia moth on my upper inner left arm#anyway I’m freaking out and I can’t tell if the terror out ways the excitement or what I’m actually afraid of#I’m not gonna get it before thanksgiving for sure bc that’s too much attention for the once a year we’re all together#and if I wait until mid December then my sibling will be home to go with me too tho Ik my friend would go with me if he’s home too#but anyway anyway anyway anytime I think abt this for longer than a few seconds my brain shuts down and I can’t breathe so#first I gotta parse what that reaction means#Im a rambling sam
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alfamangle · 2 months
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sometimes I remember that like. nobody really on Tumblr knows what or who a finch is and that sucks. I need to draw and post more about this little guy so we all know when we look apon my avatar that is a drawing of a cat with enough wrong with them to fill a book.
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florencetypemaniacs · 7 months
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Trick or Treat Short Story
Summary: This Halloween MC has a treat for Aunt Zinnia but first they have to pull a little trick that involves a costume.
Notes: Happy Halloween and Enjoy this cute little story about little MC. MC will be called Marley Charter in this short story.
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“I wanna be a mouse for Halloween,” Marley Charter said, coloring a picture of Cinderella in her pumpkin carriage on the dining table.
Zinnia popped her head up from where she's making a bowl of ice cream for herself and Marley Charter. Triana was coming over for the night, and another fight with Francisco seemed to put a bitter taste in Triana's mouth. It made Zinnia's heart beat faster that Triana would rather spend the night on Zinnia's couch than make peace with her partner. Though, those feelings were quickly followed with guilt. It’s was nearing Marley's bedtime, but they gave Zinnia the doe eyes around seven o'clock, requesting they have just one more hour to see Triana.
“You mean you want to be Gus Gus?” Zinnia asked, leaning forward and looking at the picture Marley Charter was coloring. Cinderella had been Marley's hyperfixation for the past week, not for the princess herself but for her round-ear sidekicks, especially Gus Gus.
"Yeah, and you can be Cinderella,” Marley Charter declared.
They flipped through their coloring pages, pulling out a picture of Cinderella wearing a big dress with sparkles around her body and an old woman in the background with a wand. Marley waved them in her face. “You will look so pretty!" Their tone was filled with excitement.
Zinnia eyed the coloring page and tried not to cringe at the picture of the princesses smiling, literally mocking Zinnia. The blue ball gown looked like torture, and Zinnia would have rather been dead than to ever be in the same room with that blue monster with the sparks and the bows.
"Are you sure you don’t want me to go as the prince?" Zinnia asked. 
“Nah. We already have a prince,” Marley Charter said, taking the bowl of ice cream.
Zinnia groaned while Marley ate their ice cream. Zinnia just looked down at the picture in her hands.
The things I do for you, Suger Cube
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Triana didn't make it to Zinnia's house till much later, much to Marley's dismay, as they were sent to bed at eight o'clock, which almost sent the seven-year-old into a fit, but Zinnia promised that she would make them their favorite breakfast in the morning. The promise of good food settled the kid down.
Triana came into the bakery while Zinnia was cleaning up and preparing for tomorrow. Zinnia tried not to stare, but it was hard. Triana had an overnight bag over her shoulder, her fist clenched, probably to stop her claws from coming out.
"You want to talk about it?" Zinnia asked; she knew it was a waste of time. Triana never wanted to talk about the fights she had with her husband, and Zinnia was okay with that because she felt if she knew everything, it would take all her will not to punch Fransico in the face.
Triana looked at Zinnia and started to make herself some tea. "Not tonight." 
Zinnia sat down in the dining room, looking at Triana's curves while her back was turned.
Triana smiled and, with a hot cup of tea, sat next to her friend. 
“Marley Charter picked their Halloween costume tonight,” Zinnia said as Triana took a sip of tea.
“Oh yeah, what dynamic duo will they be this year?”
Triana said, smiling. Since Camila's and Marley's first Halloween, they have matched—maybe not the same character, but they have always picked from the same series or fandom, whatever they were into. The two kids often roped their Zinnia and Triana into matching with them. Zinnia and Triana often saw them planning their costumes months in advance; however, this year, it seemed to be kept on the down low until tonight.
“Cinderella,” Zinnia said with a sigh.
“As in?” Triana asked with a sly smile that Zinnia narrowed her eyes at.
"Gus Gus,” Zinnia said, pointing up to where Marley was sleeping upstairs. “Cinderella,” she said, gesturing to herself. 
“I am guessing that the Oleander gene passed on, and Marley Charter is too stubborn to pick another character for you?” Triana asked with a teasing tone that Zinnia huffed at.
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Halloween Night.....
Zinnia furrowed her brows in the mirror, and her hair was pulled back in a headband to give everyone a clear view of her eyes, which unsettled her and were usually hidden by her black hair.
Marley Charter wanted to dye her hair blonde, but Zinnia was able to shut down that train before it even left the station.
But dying her hair blonde couldn't have been worse than trading her all black clothing for the blush-pink soft chiffon, with puffed sleeves and a ruffled neckline.
"This is for Marley." Zinnia repeated herself for the hundredth time, but her existential thoughts came to a halt when she heard a little voice. 
"Wow, you look beautiful!" A squeal came from behind Zinnia to see Marley Charter in their most adorable mouse costume that Zinnia had ever seen.
"Well, aren't you the cutest mouse I have ever seen?" Zinnia pulled Marley in for a hug and a small nuggy, which made the seven-year-old squeal in excitement.
"Thank you," Marley said between giggles.
The sound of the doorbell rang, and Marley's head popped up.
"Camila is here!" Marley jumped off the bed in a flash and ran down the stairs to meet their friend.
Zinnia sat on the bed for only a second before cracking her neck. "Come on, Orlender, you have fought actual monsters; you can walk in heels for a few hours." She said to herself, staggering on one foot down the stairs.
Zinnia looked up from her feet. "Don't you dare laugh if I fall down-." Zinnia stopped in her tracks, and her breath caught.
Zinnia had never seen Triana dress up; it was one of the things that she admired about the other woman—the natural beauty radiating off her made Zinnia's knees already feel like jelly.
Triana wore a cream royal jacket and red pants with a gold stripe, which went well with her hair up in a bun. The brown-haired woman's face had light makeup, and Zinnia wondered how the red sparkles on her eyelids stayed on.
Triana always looked beautiful, but Zinnia had to admit that tonight she looked like a goddess. But that wasn't what stunned her; Triana was prince charming while she was Cinderella; they kissed in the movie. THE CHARACTERS KISSED.  They were a couple in the movie. This had to count as a couple of costumes, right? Of course, it wasn't, but Zinnia had to admit that just thinking of her and Triana together like that made her heart swell.
"Hey, Zinnia, are you ready to go?" Triana's black-gloved hands went on the stroller that was by her side. The sight of a rosy-cheeked baby caught her eye as Luis slept, probably not even bothered that he was dressed up as a pumpkin.
Zinnia's mouth felt dry as she spoke. "I thought Camila was being Prince Charming."
Zinnia looked over to Marley, who ran around with Camila, who was dressed in a blue robe and wand.
Triana smiled. "Oh well, I think Marley gave Camila the idea to be a fairy godmother instead, while I was Prince Charming." Triana paused while Zinnia zoned out, processing the information.
"It doesn't bother you, right? That I am a prince charming? I know it can give people the idea that we are-" Triana started. 
"No!" Zinnia yelled, which made Triana jump a little in surprise, and Zinnia gave her an apologetic look before continuing.
"No." Zinnia said, softer this time. "It doesn't bother me." Zinnia didn't mean it to sound as out of breath as it did, but there were no takebacks.
NTriana licked her lips, and Zinnia realized how close they were. This was wrong. Triana was married. Triana was her best friend.
Zinnia pulled back, and Triana seemed to come out of some sort of trance.
"Should...uh...we get going?" Zinnia said, her eyes still on Triana's lips.
Triana nodded, a look of confusion written on her face. "Are we going to Cedar Street?" She asked, pushing the stroller out the door, which gave Camila and Marley the hint that it was time to go as they ran out the door onto the sidewalk.
"Cedar Street?! In these heels, you must be joking." Zinnia put her arm around Triana, the tension disappearing in an instant as they followed the hyper kids down the street.
It really was a happy Halloween.
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muraenide · 7 days
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I think it's so funny that most people would think Jade to be cool and collected as he always seems so calm in every situation.
That is, until you're acquainted with him for long enough and you're just comfortable enough to ask him, "How do you do it?" when something is happening and he looks unfazed, Jade would probably take you by the wrist and calmly writes on your palm with his fingers, "I'm simply faking it. I'm not calm at all."
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