Sweet Empress

Here stands the Empress strong and cold

Bearing a soul so weary and old

Upon her head sits a crown of glass

Cracked and chipped from her lives passed

Bearing the pain of her ancestry

Yet smiling through it all

Her mind screaming to be happy

So close to deaths call

Be still sweet Empress

Or the crown is no more

Death is your temptress

Accept her, feel her grow in your core

– Zoë Kristina

Mindful Mayhem at 4 a.m

I don’t understand myself anymore I don’t understand you at all You promised that you were different You promised we’d be more I’ve realized it wasn’t meant to be I’ve realized there’s more for you than just me You chose her and I took it more or less in my stride You chose her and i tried to distance myself while I still had my pride Yet here you are in my thoughts at 3 a.m Yet here you stand at ease among the mayhem. With your messy hair and dark eyes you never seemed to like With that dimpled smile that left me in a state almost dreamlike I can still hear your voice telling me about your family, your hopes and dreams I can still hear your voice drowning out the silence accompanied by moonbeams I miss our stupid little debates and our shameless cliche flirting I miss how you would always make me smile whenever I was hurting It’s been a few weeks and I still miss our usual late night conversation It’s been nearly a month and I wonder if I’m still the complication And I hate that you still make me feel so miserable and small And I hate that as hard as I try I still can’t hate you at all I’ve tried to cut you out and I admit I’ve lied to do so I’ve tried but somehow you’re back and so the pain will grow I was told that you didn’t want me to feel any unnecessary heartache I was told this and I wondered if this was for my or your sake My friends say you’re just a confused little boy My friends think you just treated me like a cheap toy I defended you each and every damn time I defended you even though you’re not mine Nothing makes me angrier than how weak I feel Nothing makes sense when I can’t get over it like it was no big deal I can’t handle when I can’t toss my feelings away into the abyss I can’t handle you having power over me I’m so much stronger than this Yet here you are in my thoughts at 4 a.m Now partial cause of the mayhem.

- Zoë Kristina

Dec 18th 2016

Truthful Lies

“I lie to tell the truth. I tell truths to lie. My lies are truth and my truth are lies,” he said simply. As if he had just told me the sky was blue.

“Okay then, Mr Complicated,” I raised my eyes to meet his. “Tell me something true.”

I was pulled closer. “Something true?” a hand gently brushed the hair out of my eyes. “You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me,”

“Lie to me.” I whispered.

“I love you.”

-Zoë Kristina