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zak-dar · 1 month
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My lovely Amaranthus…💕
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zak-dar · 2 months
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My baby boy from my new DnD party. Btw I’m a DM
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zak-dar · 2 months
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zak-dar · 2 months
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I compared the very first and the most recent sketches on my iPad. I shed a tear
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zak-dar · 4 months
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Nothing, just academic drawing
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zak-dar · 4 months
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I'm sorry for that, but I've been feeling sad and anxious for a few days now. I am almost physically uncomfortable from this and I am constantly on the verge of not crying. Everything falls out of my hands, I can't concentrate on anything properly.
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It all started on Friday evening. I was in a great mood, but I was a little tired after a week of worries about the certification. I returned home and was just flipping through social networks, when I suddenly came across a group in which they post drawings on the games of the World of Darkness. I still dream of coming across my work there, because my friend has already been published there several times. But I realized that my works had never been there and I felt very sad. I've been crying all evening. As soon as I calmed down, everything started all over again. To calm down a little, I wrote a post to my VK group. I quickly realized that I didn't just want to see my work published there (and it's not that important for me to be there), it's important for me that someone noticed my work and offered it to some group. That's what I wrote in the post. However, this did not help, but only made it worse. A friend wrote that his work was found and published there even though she didn't use hashtags. It completely broke me. I hoped that at least in the morning I would feel better, but I walked all day as if in a fog. And I really wanted to cry. I realized that I didn't even want my drawings to be posted somewhere, I wanted a simple recognition of my characters, a simple "You have cool characters, I like them, tell me about them." It's good that there was a painting attestation, and I was surrounded by good people. It got a little better in the evening, especially when I saw my parents.
This morning everything was fine and quite joyful. But then sadness swallowed me up again. I'm afraid to talk about how bad I feel to my family and especially friends, because they are already tired of my tears. It will only be annoying. I can't even tell my parents, because after I tell them, I will definitely feel stupid, and my problems will seem so insignificant (like myself).
I just don't understand why that is. Why, when everything was so good, when I was so productive and joyful, then I fell into this pit. A pit of self-loathing and some kind of childish resentment. I just want to know that I'm interesting, that my characters are interesting, that I'm doing something decent, and not just sitting in a dark empty room playing with my boring toys.
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zak-dar · 4 months
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zak-dar · 4 months
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First session! Moments
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zak-dar · 4 months
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They haven't even met at the game itself yet (they've only seen each other a couple of times in pre-game), but my friend and I have already determined everything for them
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zak-dar · 4 months
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Telingater-san is pushing the boundaries
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zak-dar · 4 months
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Sometimes I think that I’m a cool artist and can do many fabulous things, but then… uhhh, then I realise that I’m pathetic
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zak-dar · 5 months
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My character Clint (previously had a post with him) and my friend's character (also a demon).
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I didn't write about Clint in the previous post simply because I didn't come up with him completely then. Okay, he's an actor by training and at the time of the game is participating in a show at one of the major hotels in Vegas. He worked hard and at the same time he had chronic insomnia, so when he overdid sleeping pills, a demon named Mitras possessed him. Mithras is a demon of the first house, and also a Faustian, so now "Clint" is increasing his influence and striving for domination. The client, while he was a human being, often felt disenfranchised and powerless in front of people above him in status, and was angry at them. Now it has resulted in sadistic tendencies, sometimes even with sexual overtones. However, the desire to sexually dominate arises only in relation to another Fallen Gino (my friend has not yet thought out the name for the demon). Clint (being Fallen) feels some confusion about this: on the one hand, the demon in Gino was partly his subordinate during the War and he treats him neutrally-positively, on the other, being in Gino made him nervous and feel his own human impotence in front of the mafia. But the biggest question is: why does Clint want to fuck him? While he himself does not know the answer to this question.
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zak-dar · 5 months
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Demon the Fallen OC
1. Apocalyptic form
2. Just human body
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zak-dar · 5 months
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I just put it here, ok?
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zak-dar · 5 months
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I just want to Sid be happy and loved (even if it’s by Metatron)
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zak-dar · 5 months
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Continuation of the previous post. Helio is more cute and victimized here, but he is still more vulnerable here.
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zak-dar · 5 months
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— You deserve better love, Helio
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I recently returned to one very interesting manhwa, but all hetero relationships are so toxic that I definitely don't like it. I don't know if I'll draw the best girls together, but they definitely have a much healthier relationship than Medea and Helio. It breaks my heart how Medea constantly uses Helio without sparing his feelings. It seems to me that someone like Perion is suitable for Helio, someone open and mature. Although Perion often fools around and shirks from routine, he still inspires confidence and often shows himself as a sane and compassionate person.
This picture is a fantasy about what will happen if Medea finally breaks Helio's heart. He came to find solace in the arms of God, and in the end he will find it in the arms of the cardinal, hehe. And Perion just wants to save a rapidly blackening soul.
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