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yes-im-your-mom · 9 days
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yes-im-your-mom · 9 days
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dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain
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yes-im-your-mom · 20 days
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is this anything?
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yes-im-your-mom · 28 days
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Five Times Stiles Doesn't Actually Need a Condom (and One Time He Does) by otter (wc14481, mature)
Summary: Stiles doesn't actually mean to become Beacon Hills High's go-to guy for free condoms and sex advice. It just happens.
This fic is funny and cute and amusing and wonderful. Love it.
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yes-im-your-mom · 1 month
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They are not the hell your whales!!!!
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yes-im-your-mom · 1 month
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One day they meet in the forest between Shire and the Blue Mountain
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yes-im-your-mom · 1 month
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💜💜💜
@yes-im-your-mom: "I’m a 5’5, 23 yo non-binary(they/she) mid size pansexual person, my hair color switch between black in winter and orange the rest of the time. My hobbies consist of crochet, reading and video games. My special interest consist of learning about the processus of momification of the human body and its preservation in modern time and random historical facts. I don’t like odours that are too strong and doing sports. I have autism, adhd and bad eyesight."
I'd pair you with Jaheira!
Jaheira is no-nonsense, tough, and incredibly smart. She appreciates you for your interests, and finds you to be incredibly intellectually stimulating. You often find yourselves having VERY long conversations together about anything and everything, sometimes even turning the discussions heated if you have different viewpoints lol.
She is obviously very active, so she would leave you when she would go train since you don't like doing sports, but when she would return, she is always so happy to see you...her favorite part of the day is coming home to you. She is caring and kind with you, and gentle in a way that other people don't see. With you, she lets her guard down, and you are the only person that really sees who she REALLY is, and her vulnerable side. She also is really funny, even though she doesn't want people knowing that - she'll have you howling in laughter while you cuddle in bed after dinner.
Life is easy for the two of you, which you both need - what some people may see as "boring", you two revel in...consistency and love leads your life together, and you two both find joy in the little things with each other. Every day you learn something new with her, and it's such a fun and stimulating experience to spend your life with her.
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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to demonstrate the issues with spock’s characterization in certain star trek adaptations i’ve made this convenient chart
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as you can see here, recent spock iterations simply are not serving enough cunt
we can clearly see that snw spock is at a critically low level of cuntiness, whereas aos spock does have noticeable cunt. however, it is negligible seeing as tos spock was already off the charts in cuntiness.
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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So my boyfriend and I have a longstanding joke that Sarek would write at least One pulpy Vulcan-Human romance novels that heavily mirrors his relationship with Amanda, and yesterday we found an adequately terrible pulp romance novel with fantastic original art. So why not go the full nine yards.
Behold: the unreleased original cover for Illogical Desires: a Vulcan-Human romance novel
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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Star trek tos but every time Spock raises an eyebrow he says girl
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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Tumblr Code.
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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LINK TO THE SPREADSHEET
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yes-im-your-mom · 2 months
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Oh my goodness!! Happy Valentines day and heres my lil drawing gift for the Steddie Vday exchange!! I hope you like @medusapelagia !! Happy Valentines day! It's a little saucier than I usually post 😳😳 but still nice!!
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yes-im-your-mom · 4 months
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I don’t know what kills me more, Jason’s epitaph for Dick or Tim
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yes-im-your-mom · 4 months
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Superbat Fake Dating + Identity Porn Rec List
Thanks to @jourquet for asking for this!! I hope you find something here to read!! (And paging @steine-druff as promised!)
These are in no particular order, but generally organised by trope. I tend to read longfic as a general rule, so these recs will reflect that :) the titles contain links to each fic.
Fake Dating
1. A Common Misconception by rotasha; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 91,114 words; 21 chapters; complete
Summary:
When Bruce Wayne comes out, he accidentally becomes the poster child of bisexuality and realizes his lifestyle of sleeping around needs to come to an end. Clark, being the supportive friend that he is, volunteers to pretend to date him for a year.
You know the rest.
This fic has everything that one could want in fake dating: idiots in love, mutual pining, one bed, fake vacations, miscommunication. It also really captures the superbat dynamic of trusting and yes and-ing each other, even when they probably didn't need to be!
(And if you like this fic, any of rotasha's other works are just as good! I've got a few more of them in this list too)
2. over this threshold by orphean; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 59,283 words; 7 chapters; complete
Summary:
'I don't understand how tax evasion relates to you going on a date with, do I need to remind you, Bruce Wayne.'
Clark bit his tongue.
'We're going to get married. It's a tax break, not tax evasion.'
'Are you kidding me.' Lois stared. 'That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.'
———
Bruce asks Clark to marry him for tax reasons. Clark, against his better judgment, agrees.
Exactly what it says on the tin. Some highlights include Bruce buying Clark ridiculously expensive suits, Clark taking forever to tell his mom what's going on, and of course the wedding itself which was just delightful, with speeches from Lois, Alfred, and Dick that had me crying.
3. A Rich Man's Game by malicegreres; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 63,942 words; 13 chapters; complete
Summary:
The editorial staff of the Daily Planet, currently owned by Bruce Wayne, is trying to organize a labor union. Clark can't explain to his coworkers why he can't participate without jeopardizing the campaign—or tell Batman why he's been so cagey around him lately. When Bruce finds out what's been going on, Clark recruits him to resolve his conflict of interest in the only way Clark can think of: by pretending to date him.
This fic is truly glorius. Of all the ways Clark could have solved this problem, he chose the most convoluted. And surprise surprise, it works!
4. mission parameters by shipyrds; rated E; no archive warnings apply; 33,394 words; 6 chapters; complete
Summary:
"Bruce." Clark turns towards him, leaning back against a bank of consoles. "We're not actually going undercover. We don't need an elaborate backstory– if anything, it'll be harder to keep straight. It doesn't have to be complicated." He spreads his hands. "Here's a story: we're members of the same elite fighting force. After years of saving each other's lives in the field, we fell in love. That's it."
Bruce swallows past the almost-truth of it. In Clark's warm smooth radio voice, it sounds plausible. It sounds like something that could happen.
Bruce and Clark pretend to be married for diplomatic reasons. When they return to Earth, things are a little different.
Of all the things that normally Bruce says, Clark is the one to insist on a simple coverstory. And of course, from such simple things spirals out a whole entire adventure that doesn't stop just because the mission is over! This fic features a domesticity that neither of them knew they needed until they had it
5. tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter [@susiecarter on tumblr]; rated M; no archive warnings apply; 33,007 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.
*slapping this fic like that one meme with the car* this fic can fit so much miscommunication into it, it's truly delightful to read!! Also, yet another fic where Clark fails to mention what's going on to his mother. And of course the constant worrying about each other without actually expressing it, which is truly such a golden trope when it comes to these two!
I'm adding a cut here because this is already very long and we are still only just starting, so click the read more to see the rest ^.^
6. there ain't no star that shines by amosangius [@amosanguis on tumblr]; rated E; no archive warnings apply; 11,713 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
“I'm not the same person I was back in high school,” Clark says, “and I doubt they all are, either. What would be the point?”
“Oh, Clark,” Bruce is suddenly holding Clark's face with both of his hands, “the point is that I'm going to land us in a helicopter somewhere for all your classmates to see.”
Clark sighs and closes his eyes.
“Say 'yes', Clark,” Bruce orders.
Clark doesn't open his eyes, just says, “Yes, Clark.”
If you thought Bruce buying Clark expensive suits just for their fake dates was excessive, you ain't seen nothing yet!! This fic also features casual bed sharing (and so many references to casual intimacy oh my goodness it's lovely), Bruce Wayne being Rich As Fuck, and Bruce casually being overprotective of Clark in social situations
7. my heart is an open wound by yukla [@yuebings on tumblr]; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 13,367 words; 1 chapter; complete
“—I’ll see you kneel again,” Luthor is hissing, eyes hungry, and Clark is swaying back in discomfort—and as Lois checks their surroundings again, she notices that Wayne is still standing across the room, staring uselessly, as though he believes the sheer force of his murderous gaze would be enough to laser-blast Luthor into oblivion.
Jesus Christ, Lois thinks. I have to do everything around here.
5 times a Daily Planet employee protects Clark Kent, and 1 time Clark Kent protects the Daily Planet.
Or: Clark's coworkers watch as he fake-dates his crush with limited success.
It is probably obvious by now that miscommunication and Bruce's emotions getting in the way of everything are two of my favourite things to read. All of Clark's coworkers are the best, and once again Clark is a self-sacrificing idiot (affectionate)
8. flash in the pan by shipyrds; rated E; no archive warnings apply; 15,951 words; 3 chapters; complete
Summary:
Here’s the thing. Clark does understand. Superman and Batman are fucking. Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are not. Clark can handle this. He keeps parts of his life separate all the time.
It’s possible, Clark thinks, as he glares at a lurid tabloid cover of Bruce’s latest scandalous yacht party in the grocery store checkout aisle, that he can’t handle this.
At the Wayne Foundation's annual holiday party, things come to a head.
Okay there is so much I want to say about this fic and yet there are no words that could possibly express just how incredible it is. Bruce coming up with the worst case scenario for literally everything? Check. Clark agreeing to fake date even though he's majorly head over heels and this will likely end in flames? Check. Ma Kent giving the best relationship advice ever? Check. Dick yelling at Bruce when he tries to self sabotage again? Check. Truly one of the best fucking-but-still-pining fics I've ever read!
9. Operation Sponsalia by Brenda [@brendaonao3 on tumblr]; rated E; no archive warnings apply; 13,610 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
"When did you first realize you were in love with me?"
Bruce coughs up his wine.
"I mean, in this...whatever this is," Clark clarifies, blushing to the roots of his hair. "I don't think you're really — I mean, I know this isn't —"
"It's alright." Bruce's voice is raspy, but steady. "I know what you mean."
Clark's glad one of them does.
Or: Bruce and Clark have to fake an engagement for ~reasons — featuring a metric ton of very romantic dates, enough floral arrangements to start a flower shop, SO MANY puns, and Clark finally getting to know the real Bruce. :D
Clark doesn't find out that Bruce said to the press that they had been dating long enough to be teasing enagagements until after it's already been said. Was there a better way to explain why Bruce just happened to help save the Kent family farm? Absolutely. And yet they follow through on it anyway, and I love it for them
10. Sham-pagne by ChrisLeon; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 8,248 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
Superman is spotted visiting Wayne Manor, prompting speculation about how exactly he knows Bruce Wayne. To protect their secret identities, they need a plausible explanation and it seems easy enough to go along with the tabloid theory that they’re sleeping together. All they have to do is pretend to be in a relationship until the speculation dies down and then they can break up move on.
Or: Superman fake-dates Bruce Wayne, we all know how this ends.
This one was fascinating to me because instead of Clark and Bruce dating, it's Superman and Bruce dating, and let me just say I'm so incredibly hinged about it!! I think there is so much potential in that particular version of their dynamic, and this fic was such a beautiful exploration of it!
11. Speaking in Code by Mithen; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 7,459 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
Clark and Bruce must go undercover at a newlywed resort to try and stop an assassination attempt. Hijinks, UST, and reluctant making out ensue.
First of all, Mithen is a superbat master. Pick any fic of theirs and it will be delightful. Second of all, I could write an entire essay about how much I adore the way they go from irritable about this mission to incredibly enthuasiastic over the course of their two days at the resort, but then we'd be here all day so: if you like banter, one bed, and a case fic this is a brilliant read
12. Kind Truths by Mawiiish [@superbattrash on tumblr]; rated G; creator chose not to use archive warnings; 6,478 words; 1 chapter; complete
Summary:
Bruce needs help with an undercover mission. Clark can never say no to him even though he probably should before he does something stupid. Like tell Bruce he's in love with him.
--
“Why me?” Clark can’t help but ask. He tries his very best to keep his voice level, to not sound as desperate as he feels.
“Because I need someone there to watch my back,” Bruce says, a little exasperated. He really shouldn’t have to explain this to Clark of all people, it’s not like they haven’t been on missions together before.
“I get that, but what about Diana? Shayera?” Anyone who doesn’t have a big fat crush on Bruce would do.
Is it obvious I have a thing for Clark agreeing to fake dating despite his big crush on Bruce? This fic is glorious, and features delights such as Bruce metaphorically putting his foot in his mouth, Clark wanting nothing more than to defend Bruce's honor, and one of the most beautiful confession scenes I've ever had the pleasure of reading
13. where i come from by soetry [@soetrys on tumblr]; E; no archive warnings apply; 52,494 words; 11 chapters; complete
Summary:
Bruce doesn’t have a soulmark, and Clark doesn’t have a soulmark, on an Earth where everyone has a soulmark. Somewhere in there is a simple solution. Somewhere to that solution is an overcomplicated journey. Surely two of the world’s leading superheroes will not take the overcomplicated route?
Surely not?
This one is a little bit of both. The identity porn in this was really well done - Dick is a massive Superman fan, Bruce is unimpressed with both Superman and Clark Kent, and it all goes downhill from there (affectionate). Highlights also include Bruce using a dubiously legal site to crossreference soulmarks, him getting the Superman crest tattooed on his wrist using Kyrptonian tech, and Clark being a self-sacrificing idiot. This is also one of the best soulmate AUs I've ever read!!
Identity Porn
1. Get Over It by rotasha; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 32,378 words; 3 chapters; complete
Summary:
Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...
Of all the identity porn I've read, this is one of the best! Bruce dating Clark to get over Superman is one of the best things ever and this fic really does a good job of their dynamic!
2. Lost Time Without You by rotasha; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 68,792 words; 21 chapters; complete
Summary:
In a universe where your soulmate’s injuries show up on your skin, Bruce is convinced he doesn’t have a soulmate, and Clark is seriously concerned for his soulmate’s well-being.
This was my introduction to soulmate!AUs and oh my goodness it was spectacular! The build up to the reveal of their identities was brilliantly done, and the chance encounters that pepper through the lead up to that point were captivating. This fic also features Bruce being a good parent and I really love that for him
3. the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish [@superbattrash on tumblr]; rated T; creator chose not to use archive warnings; 95,533 words; 10 chapters; complete
Summary:
Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
--
“Excuse me, I don’t know who you think I am, but I think there’s been a mistake.”
“Bruce, right?” the guy says, albeit less confidently this time. He looks slightly concerned and if Bruce is not mistaken… a tad embarrassed. “Bruce Wayne? You look just like your pictures.”
“My pictures?” Something finally clicks in Bruce’s mind, and he takes a small step back and plasters a smile on his face as to not rouse suspicion. Stalker. “Ah, of course, I’m sorry but I’m late for an appointment.”
This fic features the batkids catfishing Clark on Bruce's behalf, Bruce being a good parent, and the utter chaos of miscommunication that can only come from these two being idiots! It was a delightful read, and of course the batfam in action is always a joy!
4. ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat; rated M; no archive warnings apply; 62,737 words; 12/13 chapters; incomplete
Summary:
"Clark. What the hell is this," Lois asks, staring at Clark's Bruceman WIP folder. Clark's first instinct is to fly away, but that would still leave his fic on display for her to see. His second instinct is to blast a hole straight through his laptop screen with his heat vision, which isn't much better.
Clark, in an attempt to make some spare cash, unintentionally stumbles into the world of superhero fanfiction, becomes a prolific writer for Gotham's OTP, and tries his best to fend off rival fans who want him to convert to superbat instead.
Oh my goodness okay. Where to start with this fic. First of all, Clark writing Batman/Bruce Wayne fanfiction is such a brilliant concept. Then add to that the fact that Clark is secretly crushing on Batman at the same time, and the entire comedy of a trainwreck is a delight to witness!
5. I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am by Mardiaz173; rated T; no archive warnings apply; 12,920 words; 3 chapters; complete
It was like living in the Twilight Zone. Everyone else believed fervently in Bruce Wayne’s reputation. He was a flirty, stupid, and entitled drunk whose only redeeming quality was his bleeding heart. And yet every time Clark spoke with Wayne, the man was clever, mischievous, and sober with an indecipherable ulterior motive.
And no one believed Clark. Not Lois, not his parents, not even Batman.
Clark insisting upon defending Bruce to everyone much to everyone's dismay is one of my favourite superbat tropes ever, and this fic really does it well! And of course, this fic also features Batman shit talking Bruce, which is always a joy to see!
6. Don't Quote Me by metropolisjournal [@metropolisjournal on tumblr]; rated E; no archive warnings apply; 77,131 words; 20/21 chapters; incomplete
Summary:
Bruce Wayne has weathered scandal before, and Wayne Enterprises can handle another publicity crisis. What Bruce can’t handle is one crashing up against his plans to infiltrate Lex’s estate. Set during Batman v. Superman.
This was the fix-it for Batman vs Superman that I didn't know I needed until I read it. The identity reveal was so incredibly well written, and the whole fic was stupendous from the very first chapter!
And that's all for now! I hope you find something in here to read, may you enjoy!!
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yes-im-your-mom · 4 months
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You might not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like
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