writtenunderwater-blog1
Random Poetry and Stories
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Underwater
It's a beautiful day on the ocean
Do you want to see what is underneath?
Penetrate the depths
But why would you?
When it is such a perfect day outside
But I have a calling to
Dive into the depths
The spirit of an adventure
Fills me to the brim
My heart beats strong
If I jump
Will you follow?
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Head against your chest
Arms holding me close
You pet my hair softly
Caress me gently
There is silence
And in that silence I feel you
I hope you feel me
Reaching out to you
Are you there?
Want to see how far this goes?
It is uncanny
How you give me more than I ever dreamed of
How you light me on fire
Make me feel so free
And yet safe and warm
Hold me
I am yours
Forever doesn’t exist
But for a moment
I feel it in your arms
When I hold you close
When I look into your eyes
There is something here
Greater than us both
Bringing us together
You may not truly know me yet
Just as I do not know you
But I long to learn
Do you want to learn about me?
My life is not light
Not the darkest by far
But dim in places
Will you get to know me?
Learn the names of my demons
So you can stand with me
Hold my hand
Hold me to your chest
When I am too shy to look you in the eyes
I am here
I want everything
The bright and the dark
To stand at your side
As the sun sets on our silhouettes
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Snapshot
My charming man
How you have disarmed me
Stripped me naked
Set me free
I am yours
Rambling, fanciful, provocative me
I have opened doors
Brought you new things to see
We’re not a photograph hung on the wall
Or an ancient artifact
We are more like modern art
Something more abstract
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Parts
As we move together
We seem to fit
Hands
Arms
Legs
All of our parts
The ones that drink coffee in your kitchen
And play little games to pass the time
The ones that share stories
Musing about politics, conspiracies and the unknown
The ones that ache for new experiences and truth
That will try almost anything
The ones that have suffered and found salvation
Longing for connection and guidance from something greater
The ones that draw us together night after night
We continue our dance
I long to please you
Hands always touching you
Words always reaching out
To show you I care
Looking for ways to make you smile
But this is a new dance for me
My feet are unsteady
I worry about stepping on your feet
Bumping into you or
Not moving my hips just right
About losing the rhythm
Or falling
So I back up every so often
With an awkward smile
And you pull me back in
Ever so gently
And everything just
Fits
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The Journey
I am chaos
Swirling nothingness
Glimmer of substance
Spinning and moving
Aimless
Longing for something
Almost anything
An experience
Newness
Something to wake me up inside
I flit about
From one fling to the next
From one body to another
Never truly enjoying it
Always feeling the lack
Then I meet him
Traveler, wise yet humble
Logical yet whimsical
Passionate and open
Strong and purposeful
Handsome and brazen
Irreverent and delightful
I do all I can to scare him off
Break all the rules
But he embraces me
I curl up around him
Wanting to wrap myself up in him
I breathe my life into him
As he calms my storm
I show him my chaos
My whirling nothingness
And he sees something
He knows just the right thing to say
Knows how to touch me
I snuggle in close
Pull him deep into me
Inhaling his scent
Drinking him in
And I let go
A little at a time
Letting him in
His presence making me
Giddy and calm
Feeling joy bubble up inside
Take me over
Laughter and smiles
It feels almost too good
I worry a sharp wind
Will blow down all the cards
I keep moving forward
Enjoying each moment
I long to feel all of him
To know him
To journey without a map
Into the unknown
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Music Box
I open my music box
Show you where I keep
all my hidden things
An old melody fills the silence
I take out the little dolls
The crazy looking one in black
The cute little one in pink
The older one that has been torn up
and sewn back together countless times
My heart is in there too
Buried under broken mementos
I let you touch my things
You dust them off
Casually examining each one
and setting them down gently
Gazing into your eyes
I hold my breath
Hoping they don’t break
That you like my little things
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Passion
Blushes hide behind closed eyes
Penetrated, longing, desperate kisses
Folding you into me
Dreaming of explosions
Hanging onto every word and touch
My life hanging tenuously
Reaching out
Hands fastened together
Wrapped around you
Holding in and holding back
Even as I scream
Aching and pulsing
Pulling you deeper in
I dream of you
Pouring yourself into me
My body holding you
A comfort born of passion
But not of stability
Shaking from desire
Terrified
But loving every moment
Spent in your arms
And at your side
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Rick and Janet
Rick and Janet arrived at the beach house after the long drive from the airport. His fingers are slick from her juices from when he shoved them deep in her pussy while they made out in the car. His cock was still hard, pulsing and wet from when she gave him road head.
She almost made him cum on the drive down to the beach. He had to forcibly remove her from his cock by pulling her up by her hair, or he might have crashed into the sedan ahead of him. He didn’t want to explain to his wife how he got into an accident getting a blow job from his girlfriend.
They stumbled out of the car. Rick popped the trunk and took out their luggage while Janet propped her small, fit body up against the car. Her hair was a tumbled mess of mid-length blond locks, and her skirt was hiked up, providing a glimpse of her red lace g-string. She was almost panting, trying to catch her breath.
He carried the luggage up the stairs hurriedly while Janet gathered her wits. She started to walk over to the trunk to grab her bag.
“I’ll get it. Just get your sexy ass up here!” Rick said, slightly out of breath from carrying the heavy bags of food, clothes and sex toys.
She complied obediently, and headed up the stairs, her Louis Vuitton heels clacking noisily. She entered the room and saw Rick unpacking things in the kitchen.
First, he unpacked a cooler filled with gourmet ingredients. Only the best for Janet. He even brought his special knives. No detail was left to chance.
While Rick was busying himself in the large open kitchen, Janet stared at him from the doorway and sighed. He was so tall and devilishly handsome. Her legs felt weak, so she made her way to the large white sofa in the living room. She was happy she could still see him from there - and that he could see her.
She lowered herself onto the couch and positioned herself so was half laying and half sitting. She let one leg dangle to the side, while the other stretched out across the length of the couch. She was short, but her legs were long and supple. She knew just how to pose to get his attention.
Rick caught a glimpse of her and stopped what he was doing. He saw Janet’s legs spread, her pussy peeking out of her expensive panties.
“Damn, girl!” he said as he moved towards her.
_____
Lexi looked around, surveying her work. Ten cameras were hidden meticulously. She knew she had to be careful because he was so perceptive. Perhaps paranoid was the better description. She had been to AirBNBs before, and he had always looked everywhere for cameras.
She wasn’t worried this time, though. She was counting on one thing, and one thing only. He would be too distracted by his passion to even think to check for cameras. That didn’t mean she didn’t hide them well - it just meant that she didn’t have nearly so much to worry about.
It had taken some work to break in to the place. She was by no means a criminal. She hadn’t even shoplifted in her youth. “Desperate times”, she told herself, when she was picking the lock earlier this morning. She had watched several videos and had even visited the dark web to learn everything she could about breaking in to a house. Her efforts had paid off.
They would be arriving in about an hour. Everything was perfect.
The beach house was two stories and had been turned into a duplex of sorts. She had rented the bottom unit, and they had the upstairs. It had taken some convincing on her part to get Rick to agree to rent this place. He had wanted the more expensive beach house a few blocks away. She had reminded him that it wasn’t in their budget, and she knew full well that he didn’t want to ask Janet to pay this time.
She looked around once more, trying to imagine she was seeing the place for the first time. There were no signs of cameras anywhere. It was a thing of beauty.
She went downstairs, locking up behind her. She entered her unit downstairs and waited.
_____
Rick pulled himself off of her. He had so much planned for Janet. “Not yet”, he said, as he hoisted himself off of her.
“I’ll go get your luggage from the car. You just relax, and I’ll be right back.”
Janet had already cum twice. Her lips were engorged and her pussy was pulsing hard. She laid there like a doll, waiting for her puppet master to return.
_____
Lexi had seen and heard almost everything. She didn’t see his fingers enter her because that was beyond the reach of her cameras, but she hear her screaming, “Oh fuck” while her husband moaned at her side, arms moving fast and rhythmically.
“Damn, he’s good”, she thought. You’d think she would know, but this was a side of him she had never seen. A side he saved just for Janet. This is what she had come to see this weekend.
Rick had told her that he shared everything with her. Honesty was important to him. But telling was so much different than seeing with her own eyes.
She had cum while watching him finger fuck her on the couch. What turned her on the most was knowing that he had never done this to her. Somehow, jealousy, rage, and self-hatred mixed to form an epic aphrodisiac. She was still throbbing while she fought the tears burning behind her eyes.
She understood why she couldn’t have Rick to herself. She was not enough for him. She wasn’t good in bed, and didn’t know how to seduce a man. Her history had been one stormy hot romance with a virgin, followed by a long string of dissatisfying encounters with sexually inexperienced men who she didn’t want - until she had met Rick.
Rick was different. He turned her on like crazy, but even as her body responded, she hadn’t known what to do. She had pushed him away time and time again, Pushed him into Janet’s arms.
At least now, though, she could have a taste. Experience passion second-hand. She was glad she had decided to record everything.
_______
Rick and Janet relished their meal, laughing and flirting between bites.
“You sure you’ll still be hungry after this…” she said coyly.
“You have no idea”, he responded, licking his folk while giving her his signature fuck me look.
He set the fork down and his smirk turned to ice.
“Now, I want you to go the bedroom and put on your sexiest lingerie for me.”
She practically jumped out of her chair, eager to please him.
“Yes, master.” she said, as she hurried into the bedroom, leaving the door open behind her.
Rick thought through what they would do. There was so much they had done already, but so much more he wanted to do to her. Rough things. Push her right to her limit and a little beyond.
But there was another side. He had missed her so deeply. He wanted to just take her in his arms and make love to her.
He resolved to do them both tonight.
Janet put on her black and red see-through negligee. This one was new - something she had bought just for this occasion. She then slipped on her garter belt and rolled on her fishnet thigh-highs. Her beautifully painted toenails sparkled underneath the netting at her feet. She slipped on her highest stripper heels and walked carefully over to the full-length mirror.
She was hot as fuck. Janet was proud of her body. After all, she had earned it. A year ago, she never would have even caught Rick’s eye. She loved how she made him squirm, how she made him cum, and how she made him love her. She loved how she could make anyone love her.
While admiring herself in the mirror, she saw Rick enter the room from behind.
_____
Lexi flipped her video feed over to the bedroom camera. This was it. She thought of the fights they’d had since Rick had started things with Janet. This is what he wanted so desperately that he was willing to risk it all.
Her stomach dropped. Her heart was beating out of her chest, so loud she could hear it. Her hands shook as she squirmed in her chair as she looked at her laptop. She wanted to be in the room with them - but that would be another night. If she could convince him she wouldn’t freak out.
She stood up and slid her jeans and underwear off. She barely recognized herself. Her long pale legs were thinner than she had remembered. She had found herself not eating for days at a time since Rick had started the affair. Her body had never been so slender.
She quickly grabbed a towel and placed it on her chair, then plugged in her headset. She wanted to hear every breath, moan and exclamation of passion. Everything. And she couldn’t play it too loud or she’d risk being discovered.
She adjusted the volume on her headset. She heard Rick say, “Turn around”.
_____
Janet swiveled to face Rick, and her large breasts bounced lightly. Her nipples were hard, pressing firmly against the lace.
“Yes, master…” she said, holding the sexiest pose she could.
He examined every inch of her body, looking her up and down. After feasting on her beauty, he looked directly into her brilliant green eyes. He felt his heart beating fast and a warmth flowing throughout his body. His cock was hard, pressing firmly against his silk boxers and jeans.
She moved towards him carefully, examining his face for clues to what he wanted. She knelt before him and unbuckled his belt, looking up at him with a smile. She unzipped his jeans and slid them down around his ankles. She could see his cock almost poking through the boxers, and she wanted to taste him right then and there. But she wanted him undressed first.
She stood up briefly to start to unbutton his shirt while he removed his shoes and stepped out of his jeans. Within a minute, he stood perfectly naked before her, his cock erect and glistening with a bit of precum.
“Back on your knees, bitch” he said, and she dutifully dropped to the floor. She took his cock into her mouth and began to suck hungrily on it, moaning and flicking her tongue.
Rick grabbed a bunch of her soft hair in his hands and forced her down further on his cock, fucking her face fast and hard. She gasped to try to breathe while using every trick in her arsenal to please him.
Rick moaned and grunted as he fucked her face. He briefly thought of Lexi, but pushed her out of his mind. Janet wanted to suck him dry. Janet wanted to swallow every bit of his cum and make him hers forever. He fucking loved it.
______
Lexi took her time with herself. She wanted to cum, but she didn’t want it over too fast. It was hot watching Janet suck off her husband, but she wanted more. She wanted to see him fuck her and fill her up with his seed. She wanted him to make love to her.
She stopped rubbing her clit and leaned back so she could finger fuck herself. She rubbed her g-spot hard, aching to be filled up. She hadn’t been sure would use it, but she had brought her dildo with her just in case. It was large and felt very much like flesh to the touch. She reached down to the bag at her side and pulled out the dildo.
She didn’t need lube since she was dripping wet. She slid it deep inside her and began to fuck herself furiously with it, keeping time with Janet as she bobbed her head on her husband’s cock.
_______
Rick pulled Janet up from the floor. It was hard to stop her, but he wanted more than a blow-job tonight. It had been weeks since he had seen her, and he wanted to really connect with her again. He wanted to feel his soul meet hers, let the beauty of their love consume him.
He knew she wanted rough sex, but he could always torture her later. Right now, he needed to be inside her. He needed to come home to his babydoll.
He pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, tongues swirling in perfect unison. He felt years of pain drift away as he was lost in the moment.
“I love you…” he almost whispered, as he picked her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to the bed. He gently laid her down and then pulled back to look at her. She was magnificent.
Her legs were parted and her eyes dilated.
“Take off your clothes but leave on the garter.”
She followed orders well, quickly removing everything but her stockings and garter.
Rick stared into her eyes. He loved how much she wanted him.
“I love you, Rick” she said, as he laid down on top of her.
His hard cock ached to be inside of her, to wear her. He aimed his cock at her pussy and pushed his length up into her. He was deep inside of her and he could feel her pulling him even deeper.
He wanted to fuck the shit out of her, but he held back at first, gently rocking her and exploring every bit of her pussy with his cock.
“You are so tight” he said as she flexed around him.
“God I want you so much…” she said pulling her legs apart and above her head. “Fuck me, Rick!”
He was the one to comply this time, rutting himself like a wild bull, fucking her so hard he knew it hurt her. He fucked her hard for so long, he lost all sense of time.
“Yes, Yes, Yes!” she said. He knew her body and knew she was close.
He slowed down and held her close. Her legs wrapped around his and hugged him tightly.
“I love you so much, Janet…You are everything to me…” he whispered into her ear.
“I am yours, take me, I will always be yours…” she said as she stared into his eyes.
Their eyes locked and he began to speed up, feeling her start to quiver. He was close, too. He could feel himself tense up, wanting desperately to release himself into her.
“Fill me up with your cum, baby. I want it. All of it. Give it to me…”
He pounded deep into her. Right before he came, he positioned himself as deep as possible. Then, her orgasm exploded around his cock, intense spasms surrounding him, her pussy milking his cock. He could take it no more, and he shot his cum deep inside her, moaning and rocking himself as she held him in her arms.
“I love you, Janet..”
He was in heaven.
_______
Lexi had just had the biggest orgasm of her life and sat there stunned, watching her husband cum into another woman. Bright hot shame filled her. She suddenly felt so alone.
No one would understand this obsession of hers. Even she didn’t.
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The Patron
I give all I have and more
Going negative
Digging a hole I can’t get out of
I would kill or die for you
Anything I can provide
I offer willingly
You are my everything
My reason for life
Why I don’t end it
I just learned today
That there are things I can’t give
I don’t have them
I can’t steal them
Or borrow them
I have no resources left
Running on less than empty
What can I do?
When there is nothing more to offer?
When giving is all I have
All I know how to do
The only way I can show you my love
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Self Image
Distorted inside
Unpleasant to touch
Whispers of a pretty girl hide
Behind the middle aged woman
Stark marionette lines on her face
Graying hair
Big and soft
Too big to seduce
Once smart
But never a genius
Never perfect
Almost successful
But with an empty bank account
No personality to speak of
Either a monster of depression
Or a kind, but passive aggressive servant
No joy
Unworthy
She used to think she was someone
Now she knows she is not
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Getting Off
I don’t get off on being me
I don’t think I really exist
It is mostly an act
You can try to please me
But you’re getting it all wrong if you do that
There is no me to please
I only exist through you
Or through imagination
If I watch you fuck someone
That feels real
Sometimes I stand outside myself
And watch you fuck what you think is me
I pretend she is someone else
But the best is being there while you’re with someone else
So I can almost feel it for myself
Because I can’t feel it when it’s me
The moment I think it’s me
I get turned off
I know I can be hot
But i can’t enjoy that unless I pretend I am someone else
And that takes more work than it used to
I’d love to enjoy things as me
I can go through the motions
Have an orgasm
But it is rare
And when I do, it is clinical
And lacks passion
But I can never fully satisfy myself and
that desire is too strong
My fate is to be left aching forever
Or get off on imagining watching you fuck her
I am jealous of the easy passion you have with her
I want to be swept away with desire
And not left hanging on the edge
I doubt it’s biology
If I accept I am real and hot
Maybe it would be different
I’ve tried
In some moments I get close
But I still can’t get there
And I alternate between giving up and trying
Assuming I am not meant for passion
I am the boring one
Or at best the hot one you can enjoy but
Who can’t enjoy things herself
So many nights crying
My deepest desire is to have desire fulfilled
But either there is no desire
As it was for over a decade with someone I didn’t love
Or there is desire but no way to fulfill it
Without losing the fire of it all
I see you on your trip with your girlfriend
Carried away by bliss
See her doing the same
And I am happy for you
You can have something so real and romantic and passionate
I wish I could have the same
Always wished I could
I’ve been close
But close hurts more than far
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The Villain
I am the villain
All along I wore white
And thought I was fair and kind
But you tell me
I got drunk or manic one night
Ruined my marriage just as it was beginning
And it has been limping along ever since
I blamed the sacrifices I made
But it was a few evil words uttered
By me that I do not remember
I don’t remember
Any of those times he says I have hurt him
He tells me there is a part of me that is a demon bitch
But the me that walks in daylight
Has been blissfully unaware
That I am the cause of his pain
Not realizing it was me
That ripped his heart to shreds
And here comes an Angel to mend his wounds
How can I not step aside
I never thought it possible until tonight
Because how can I
If I truly love him
Hold him and keep him in a prison
That makes him feel not good enough
When there is an Angel at his door
That makes him feel like a god
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Jealousy
I don’t have the right to be jealous
It’s my fault he fell under her spell
I approved it and endorsed it and paid for it
I am their sponsor
When I feel that gnawing in my stomach
And my heart beating out of my chest
The nausea and falling feeling
I must realize that it is my doing
I must learn to love it
I have earned this pain
I need to relish it
Taste it
Wear it
Be it
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Lap Dog
Eyes cast downward
Weight of shame on my shoulders
He does not see me
A dog he once loved
But is left alone all day now
I wear my collar
You can pull it this way or that
But you don’t
You just leave me lying there
Waiting for something that never comes
I sit at your feet
Begging for a glance
A kind word
Am I not cute anymore?
Am I not sweet?
Am I not a good girl?
I can even do tricks
Play fetch
Roll over
Play dead
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The Watcher
I have always been
The girl in the corner
Watching
Waiting
Hoping
I try to move
Towards someone
Someone special
I touch
I hold
Attach
Approach the world
From the center
With him at my side
But seams break
Crumbling
I shriek inside
Slither back to my corner
Where I watch
I wait
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Nothing
I am nothing
Propped up by will to be something
It’s hard to hate nothing
But sometimes I manage it
I want my Outside to match my Inside
I give him to her
He needs someone real
I am a façade
Kind but empty
He craves passion
That can only come from personality
I carve my body to a better shape
Mold my mind to a better form
but that won’t help
Because I am nothing inside and
Nothing does not inspire
He needs his Muse
And yes he needs me
His Patron
His safety net
His support and stability
His friend
I do these things lovingly
It is all I have to offer
And it is the only way I can keep him
But I still try to set him free
Let him enjoy life
But when he comes back he will miss her
Feels trapped by my support and the children
A trap he wants and needs
But it will hurt to see him
Want her and feel trapped with me
Feel the guilt of it
It will inspire his art
And I will want every detail
Each word ripping me to pieces
But craving more
Wanting to hurt
Because it is who I am
I am meant to hurt
I am not real
And the pain is the only thing that makes me feel alive
My emptiness is getting deeper
My loneliness is growing
Time spent waiting for scraps
He invests his soul in her
And I sit here like a vampire
Trying to feed on his love for her
He lets me drain him
But I know he’s reluctant
I want to give him space but I can’t
My heart is aching
Nothing helps
More and more
My heart shriveling
Until I realize I don’t even have a heart
No soul to wound
Just a nothing
Envying all the living
I want to be hurt
It is the closest i can get to
Being real
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The Queen
I stand silently behind my king
He talks to the crowd below
As they cheer and throw flowers
The hot sun frames his face
Gold flecks in his hair
his eyes penetrating
I see him looking for someone
For her
He cuts his speech short
He didn’t see her in the masses
He turns around and walks past me
He calls his servant to him and whispers in his ear
Then continues walking
I follow behind him
Hoping for a word or a glance
And then he turns to me
“I will need to travel for a few days”
My heart tightens
I hear my blood flow quicken
“To be with her?”
“Yes”
I look down, avoiding his gaze
“I love you my queen.”
“I know”
He kisses my forehead kindly
Then turns to leave
I walk slowly to the bedroom
Sit down on the bed
And stare out the window
Not knowing what to think or feel
I am loved
I am queen
But I am alone
Without passion and romance
Do I envy her?
She has no power
Save the power over his heart
She sees him so rarely
I see him daily
But when I do see him
He is looking for her
He loves me, yes
But I am not the love of his life
I am his life
I dream of being his mistress
So I can be consumed by his passion
So I can be his muse
I am trying
To be a good queen
Queens don’t bow under pressure
Queens stand tall when shriveling inside
Queens keep kingdoms afloat
While their Kings wander
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