2 Ways to use stitching dies without stitching (and a double shaker!)

{Image Sources: Dong Hua: https://daydaynews.cc/en/entertainment/419895.html Fengjiu: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1196337391276429/}

The family of three deities had bid adieu to their relatives in Quingqui and taken the magical boat to Bihai Cangling. Dijun and Fengjiu had both managed to handle their respective duties and arranged for messengers to visit them here at their new place of residence, actually their real home, for the next few months. They were all very excited about it.

Fengjiu was remembering their last visit fondly. The last time she had been here, she had spent some magical time with Dijun.

Dijun was also remembering his last visit. But there wasn’t any fondness in those memories for him. He had been there was to build the Star Light ward. He had not expected to come back alive to this place, much less to come back alive with his wife and son. He looked at Xiaobai and marveled at her. It had been her who had saved him and saved his home. She was the best. He lovingly played with her hair.

Gungun saw that they were about to reach to a beautiful landscape, the likes of which he had never seen. “Father, your home is so beautiful. It’s even better than the Sky Kingdom!”, he exclaimed clapping excitedly.

“Gungun’s reaction to Bihai Cangling is just like yours when you came here for the first time.”, said Dijun smilingly to Xiaobai. "It's your home too, Gungun. It’s our home.", he added. He liked the sound of that very much.

Xiaobai noticed that a lot had changed since she had last visited. Row of fruit trees and vines had been planted - grapefruits, pears and grapes. There was a long corridor with an artificial hill. The hill really looked like a real rocky mountain, just smaller than a mountain. On either side of the corridor there were beautiful trees of foiling flowers. Spiritual birds danced to ‘paying homage to the Phoenix’ near by.

Then there was a pavilion overlooking a lotus pond. White and pink lotuses swayed gracefully in a cool breeze there. White sandalwood on each side of the pavilion gave the seating area a perfect cover from sun.

Xiaobai recalled her own words from the last time she had visited. Dijun had done everything she had asked for. She was transfixed.

When they walked a little further, her jaw dropped to the floor. Sitting atop a slightly raised platform was a house. Not just any house - the bamboo house she had drawn! Oh, Dijun!!!! She stood dumbfounded with tears in her eyes.

Dijun realized she had stopped walking and turned around. When he saw her face he asked with worry, “What’s wrong? Did I mess it up?” Forgetting about Gungun watching them, she ran forward and hugged him. She buried herself in his arms and said, “No, Dijun. No mess up. This is perfect. You made our home. Our home!” She choked on her emotions and couldn’t say anything else. Dijun smiled and planted a kiss on her head.

Gungun was watching all this and came running. “Mother and Father are kissing again. I want a kiss too.”, he giggled. Dijun picked him up and twirled him high. His giggles and Dijun’s laughter filled the space. And Xiaobai’s heart. They were home.

When they went inside, Xiaobai realized that all the basic things they had planned for, had been done. There was a study, a living room and a well-lit, well ventilated kitchen. The large kitchen window overlooked the fruit trees. There were two identical rooms - one for Gungun and another for his little brother/ sister, as Dijun explained, his eyes hinting mischievously. It made Gungun very excited to think that he would have a playmate. Then there were a couple guest rooms. Dijun and Xiaobai’s  room was a spacious suite with a large bed. A foiling flower tree was the headboard of that bed. They even had a nice little hot spring next to their room.

“Dijun, the house is great, but there’s still work to do. We have to set up the kitchen, the wardrobes and such.”, began Xiaobai. “If I do everything, what will you do?”, he interrupted her, pretending to be arrogant and tapped her forehead. Then he leaned in and whispered in her ears “But I have already done so much work here. You owe me big this time.  I will collect my dues from you at night.” Seeing her cheeks instantly color up pleased him.

There was a balcony behind their room. It overlooked a large playground with targets set up for practicing archery, an open space for sword plays and martial arts. On one side was another building. “That is a workshop where we can forge weapons. I have also placed all the weapons I have made or collected in a room in there. I am sure you will like it.”, said Dijun. She looked at him with pride in her eyes. Dijun felt that all his efforts had been completely worth it.

“I am so hungry, mother. When can we eat?”, asked Gungun. “You and Father can put your things in your rooms. I will quickly get food ready.”, said Xiaobai patting him. They all went their separate directions and got busy.

After some time they all got together in the dining room and ate a simple but delicious meal. Fengjiu had found that right next to the kitchen was a vegetable and herb garden. She had picked some fresh veggies to prepare rice porridge and mushrooms-vegetables stir fry. Some lentil cakes rounded up the meal. She had always been good in cooking. Her years in mortal realm had helped her perfect  the art of making do with whatever was available.

After they cleared up all the food, Fengjiu wanted to go to her room and take a nap. But Dijun insisted they go to the lotus pond and catch some fish. She almost suspected that he wanted to keep her away from their bedroom. “May be he has made a mess in there with all the stuff. I better not go in there or else I will end up cleaning everything myself.”, she thought to herself as she followed her guys to the pond. When they got there, she rested her head in Dijun’s lap and dozed off happily.

She woke up a little while later when tiny hands were trying to tap on her head. "Mom, wake up! Look I caught a fish!! My first ever fish!!!", Gungun was showing off with eyes wide with excitement. She couldn't help by smile at him. "I will make sweet and sour fish for dinner tonight with this. You both like it, don't you?" She said. Two heads full of silver hair nodded in fervent agreement. "Like father - like son", she chuckled.

She completely lost herself in cooking dinner. In addition to sweet and sour fish, she also made sticky rice and soup. "For Dijun and Gungun. They need this nourishment.", she told herself. All this was gobbled up pretty quickly between the three of them.

After dinner they took off for a long walk that led them back to the weapon forge. Dijun took them in and Fengjiu was like a kid in the candy store. She enjoyed designing and creating mechanical weapons. Among other things, this was something she and Dijun had in common. Gungun was quite curious and looked around with amazement. But he was slowly beginning to get tired and needed to get to bed. So they all returned homewards.

"You take him to his room and get him ready for bed. I will bring him a glass of milk. He will sleep well with that.", said Dijun. Fengjiu nodded and walked away holding Gungun's little hand. In his room, she helped him bathe and change. They both were happy they didn't need to dye his hair anymore. As she was settling him in his bed, Dijun came in with a glass on milk in his hand. He made sure Gungun finished it up. Then they both dimmed the candles, kissed Gungun sweet dreams and left the room.

When they reached the doorstep of their bedroom, Dijun gestured Fengjiu to stop. "What's wrong?", asked Fengjiu puzzled. "Close your eyes.", ordered Dijun. "Why should I?", replied Fengjiu more puzzled. "Please, Xiaobai. Do as you are told.", Dijun coaxed her. So she sighed and closed her eyes. "You are acting very weird tonight.", she said.

She found herself being lifted in his arms. She felt the door opening and he walking in with her.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Feng Jiu asked. "Not yet, just a little bit longer.", Dijun replied. She could feel the smile in his voice.

"What's going on? I am opening my eyes now." She nagged him anxiously as she felt herself being lowered on something extremely soft.

"Wait. Just a few more moments.", Dijun replied as he adjusted her clothes. "Okay, you can open your eyes now.", he said.

She was so not ready for what she was seeing. The room had been transformed. It looked like a bride's chamber on a wedding night. There was an altar placed for heaven worship ceremony. Gold, white and purple lanterns adorned the ceiling. Matching candles, flower arrangements and curtains hung everywhere. Every seat in the room and the whole bed was covered in foiling flower petals. She was draped in her wedding gown. And then as she turned towards Dijun she saw that he himself was looking extremely handsome in his wedding attire. Nothing in the room was nearly as mesmerizing as the sight of the regal man himself. He took her breath away and she could not help but stare at him open mouthed.

"I never gave you a proper wedding. I have regretted that very much.", he said huskily as he walked towards her with a purple veil. "Tonight, let's get married, Xiaobai.", he said softly as he came close and arranged the veil over her hair. She didn't know what to say or do. She was completely under his spell.

He led her by her hand towards the altar. They kowtowed to the heaven and earth. They remembered her parents and kowtowed for them. Then they bowed to each other. Very carefully he lifted her veil and took her hands in his.

"In all three eternities you are the only one who has moved my heart, Xiaobai. You, little fox, will always belong to me.", he looked deeply into her eyes and promised possessively.

She smiled with stars in her eyes and promised him back, "In any eternity I will bring you in my life. Because I love you the most Dijun, you will always belong to me."

He leaned in and planted kisses on her face. He kissed her hair, her forehead, her eyes, her nose and then covered her lips with his. He felt her respond to him and deepened the kiss. She trembled and moved closer in his arms. Slowly he moved to her ear. "Ever since I have had this dress made for you, I have imagined so many ways I would like to undress you from it.", he teased huskily. "Um? So you got this elaborate and extravagant dress made only so that you could undress me from it?", she asked pulling back and squinting her eyes at him. "HHmm.. ", he pursed his lips and nodded solemnly. "You are so... ", she started to say, but completely lost her train of thought under his hot, hungry gaze. He claimed her lips again and started undressing her.

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 6

(Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/601582462717336907/)

Xiaobai's body and spirit had finally recovered fully.  Her wounds had healed and her cultivation had come back. She had started practicing martial arts again and was very happy about it.

With Dijun himself  helping her, she didn’t need to worry. He would  push her just out of her comfort zone, every few days. Only when she got comfortable there he would challenge her further. He was a very good teacher. She was an equally dedicated  student.

Gungun would tag along with them all the time. He loved to watch his mom and dad practice. Dijun had made him a smaller wooden sword and every day his mom or dad would spend some time with him playing with it. He didn’t realize that while he thought they were playing, they were also teaching him many important skills. He was a happy and cheerful child.

Fengjiu had been making great progress on handling her duties as a monarch too. She set aside some time each day to go over various reports and work through them. Her father was delighted to see that for sure. She had also made several decisions to appoint capable citizens of Quinqui to take on more responsibilities around the kingdom. People were appreciative of her efforts. Overall things were settling well.

Dijun undertook several small trips back and forth to Sky Kingdom to handle his work. He was training Ye Quingti on different aspects of administration at Tai Chen palace. Fengjiu and Dijun had found that each time they would leave each other, they would be so anxious to meet again.

Tonight was just one of the nights when he had returned from Sky Kingdom. He had waited (im)patiently for Xiaobai to finish her day, to put Gungun to bed and to get to their room. As soon as she entered, he closed the door behind her and took her in his arms, kissing her all over hungrily. After her initial shyness, she kissed him right back. "Missed me?", he whispered in her ear, teasing her. She buried her face on his chest shyly and nodded. Very pleased with that, he let out a husky laugh, scooped her up in arms and took her to bed.

When Dijun woke up hours later, he realized they had not changed or tidied up the room or closed the windows. He chuckled softly. In the last several millions of years, Dijun had never felt this way about anyone else. He realized he was a completely different man now than before. This soft, frail little woman had melted his heart of rock. For someone who had been devoid of desires for centuries, she had become the one desire he could not give up on.

He waved his hand to fix the room and close windows. Then he pulled the quilt up on both of them and scooted closer to Fengjiu. Spooning her close to him, he closed his eyes.

——

As usual, Fengjiu woke up at the first light of the day. She turned to face Dijun who was still sleeping soundly. She reveled in the moment, shyly admiring her handsome husband. Out of habit she started playing with his silver hair. That woke him up. “You are awake? It’s still early, don’t get up yet”, he murmured groggily and pulled her close. She could hear his steady, rhythmic heartbeat. That was the best sound in the entire universe for her. She closed her eyes and slept some more.

After a while Dijun got up and got ready. He sat at his desk half reading, half watching Xiaobai sleep. Her delicate features looked exquisite while sleeping. He recalled how warm and soft her skin had felt under him last night and was very much tempted to get back in bed with her. "Stop. Let her rest, Dong Hua. She has been working hard lately.", he reprimanded himself.

When Xiaobai finally woke up, the sun was up already.  When she stirred and opened her eyes, Dijun smiled at her. “Good morning, honey.” He teased. She made a face. She was still not comfortable hearing him say that endearment in broad daylight.

“Get ready, honey. I will fetch us breakfast and we can eat together. Would you like that? Honey?”, seeing her face, he continued to torment her. Frowning, she got up and came to him. She put her hand on his mouth to make him stop calling her that. He was only too glad. He grabbed on to her hand and started kissing each finger slowly, unhurriedly. She felt like her knees were about to melt.

“Mom, you are up! Why did you sleep for so long today?”, Gungun ran in bursting with questions. She snatched her hand back blushing all over. “I… Me.. We…”, Fengjiu fumbled for words. Meanwhile Dijun composed himself quickly, turned around and hugged Gungun. “I think you got too tired last night, didn’t you? Honey?” He asked her with a naughty smirk.

“Last night? But you put me to bed on time, why did you get tired? What did you do after?”, asked a confused Gungun. She turned a shade more pink at the mention of last night and was rendered speechless. First of all her brain had not fully woken up, then Dijun had turned it almost to a mush with his lingering finger-kisses and now this. All she could say was, “I don’t know how…”

Dijun, who was taking pleasure in her discomfort, finally decided to relent and came to her rescue. “Your mom has been working hard these past few days. She must have been tired and not realized it. Let’s go bring our breakfast here. Mom can get ready by then and we can all eat together.”, he said extending his hand to the boy. Together they went out.

“Phew”, she shook her head and sighed, watching their retreating figures.

----

While they were eating and chit chatting, Dijun started a topic with all seriousness. “Xiaobai, I think we have lived in Quinqui long enough. Your parents have been kind enough to have us. Do you think we should go somewhere else for the next few months? We can go to Tai Chen palace or Bihai Cangling. I can arrange for messengers to deliver important messages about your work to you every day. What do you think?”

Xiaobai nodded and agreed, “I have been thinking about the same thing. Give me 4 weeks to arrange my current work and make sure there are things in place for Quinqui while we are away. After 4 weeks, let’s go to Bihai Cangling. Gungun hasn’t been there at all. He should know that’s his home too.”

“Sounds like a good plan, hon....”, Dijun smiled and stopped halfway through 'honey' as he saw her expression. Gungun looked up, utterly confused. But both his parents were serving him food and they looked very engrossed in eating.

———

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 5

(Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/131730357839252427/)

It was the most exciting time of the year in Quinqui. It was time for harvest festival. This was a 7 day long festival with parades, performances from acrobats and a grand fair. Every year anyone related to Quinqui, no matter how far from home he might be, would make it a point to come. Even visitors from all over would gather here.

Bai Xian, the crown prince Ye Hua and their little son Ah-Li had also come to the fox den for this celebration. Ah-Li and Gungun were both super excited to go to the fair. Chong Lin was trying to keep them interested in other things long enough so that they could go only after the sun would go down a little. Bai Xian was so not wanting to walk around in the hot sun and had tasked Chong Lin with this duty.

She herself had come to Xiaobai's room and was helping her bathe and get dressed. Xiaobai had recovered quite a lot, but her wound still hurt if she tried to move quickly or even tried to comb her long hair. So Bai Xian had taken it upon herself to look after her favorite niece.

Dijun had ventured to the kitchen asking his mother-in-law's help to cook something tasty and nutritious for his wife. His mother-in-law was only too happy to oblige. Finding not much else to do by himself Ye Hua had joined in too. They all chatted and cooked away a whole feast with sweet and sour fish, noodle soup, congee and various types of cakes. All of them were feeling very accomplished. Dijun and Ye Hua loaded two trays with all the food and decided to go to Xiaobai's room so they all could eat together.

When the two reached Xiaobai's room, she had finished bathing and getting dressed. Bai Xian was combing her hair and they were chatting. "Please don't tell whatever I am about to say, to Dijun. I don't want him to feel any more guilty than what he is already feeling.", Fengjiu was saying. Dijun signalled to Ye Hua to stop and not enter the room. They both placed the food trays on a nearby table and waited. Ye Hua signalled to Dijun that he will be back soon and left in search of their sons.

"Ye Hua is a true gentleman!", mused Dijun and continued to eavesdrop. His wife was about to tell something to her aunt that she thought would make him feel guilty. So? It wasn't going to be pretty. But he was quite thick skinned and he could handle it. At least that's what he told himself at that time.

Fengjiu continued reminiscing and talking to her aunt. She was talking about some of the hardest days of her life and it wasn't easy for her. But this was her aunt and she was one person Fengjiu did not mind being herself with.

"I waited for Dijun for 73 days. Each day was harder than the one before, but I waited. Everyone told me he had chosen to go to demon realm with Ji Heng. I chose not to believe them.  I went to demon realm with Chong Lin to look for Dijun. There they told me he had been with Ji Heng. I was heartbroken.

I returned home here and was crying inconsolably in my room when medicine god Zhe Yan walked in. He sensed something off with me, checked my pulse and told me that I was pregnant. That moment! It changed my whole life.

I remember that night I did not sleep at all. But by the time morning came, I had made up my mind. God Zhe Yan  had left me two pills - one that would abort and another that would preserve the baby. He also left a note saying he would support me no matter what I picked.

This was my baby. Mine and Dijun's. The only man I have ever loved. This baby was symbol of my unconditional love for Dijun. I knew he had loved me sincerely too. May be after seeing Ji Heng in trouble, he had decided to spend the rest of his life with her. But I knew when he had told me he loved me, he had meant it. I would keep this baby and live for the baby. This baby would be my whole universe from then on.  I ate the pill that would preserve my baby.

Then I packed a few clothes, supplies to hide my birthmark, dress up as a man etc and left Quinqui. First I went to Sky Kingdom. Something in my heart was still not ready to let him go. I hoped to see him one last time. If he wanted to be with Ji Heng, all he had to do was tell me. I would get out of his way. But I didn't find him there. I knew I needed to be strong  for this baby. Especially since I would be his only parent. So I let go of everything and left sky kingdom.

From there I went to Nether world, and checked up on Ye Quingti. I knew I would pay his debt no matter what. I left a trinket with Lord Xie Gu so he could reach me when he needed me to wake Quingti up. And then i went to mortal realm and stayed there until... "

"Why mortal realm? Didn't you know you would be all alone and you wouldn't be able to use your magic either? How could you have acted so foolishly, Fengjiu?", scolded Bai Xian.

"Aunt, I chose mortal realm because I did not want anyone to find me. I knew if any of you had learned that I was pregnant, you would confront Dijun and make him take responsibility for me and the baby. I knew what it was like, to stay away from the one I loved, I could never wish that for him.", Fengjiu explained.

Bai Xian rolled her eyes indignantly and continued with the questions. "How did you manage your pregnancy? Going into labor? The delivery? Did you take care of yourself properly at all?". She was seriously concerned.

"I did the best I could. I went to mortal realm and worked as a cook in a restaurant at that time. It was really hard work all day long. My body ached all the time and I was exhausted. But at least the owner who was an old lady, was kind to me. She let me eat leftovers  and also let me take breaks often in my last month of pregnancy. She even revived me when I passed out from 3 days of labor pains and she helped me deliver Gungun safely. I am so grateful to her.

I was really sad when her son showed up 3 months later and wanted to force himself on me. I fought him, made him unconscious and ran away with Gungun. I did suffer physically and I was also very sad to leave the old lady to look after herself. But, I had no choice, so I did what I could.", Fengju tried in vain to make light of it. Bai Xian was appalled at what she heard.

And so was Dijun. He felt he had been too naive in thinking he could handle whatever he heard about her days in mortal realm. He had really underestimated her hardships.

Her days had been hard. When she had given him up, she had also given up her family and friends. All because of him. He knew he could never repay her for the things he had put her through.

"You are a Princess of Quinqui. You are the Monarch of this kingdom. You are the Empress of one of the most prestigious, powerful and revered god in the Sky Kingdom. Yet you had to work in restaurant and pass out from labor pains with no one to look after you. That's just so ...... ", Bai Xian was so furious, so flabbergasted that she could not find the right words at all.

"How can you love someone so much? How can you love him so much?", she asked incredulously to Fengjiu.

"Love is mysterious in its ways.", Fengjiu replied with a faint smile.

She knew her aunt was very angry. So Fengjiu reached for her aunt's hand. She hugged her aunt and wiped her aunt’s tears smilingly. Bai Xian's anger melted away. No one could stay angry at Fengjiu for long. With more tears in her eyes, Bai Xian planted a kiss on Fengjiu's head and held her close.

Dijun decided it was about time the ladies were interrupted. He wasn't sure he could bear to know any more of the hardships this delicate woman had toughed out because of him. He wasn't that thick skinned after all. He picked up the tray of food that had gone cold and heated everything back up with magic. He saw Ye Hua return with both the kids and together they walked in.

They sat in a circle and ate together. Both guys were pretty happy seeing their wives eat and praise the food they had prepared.

Dijun kept stealing weird glances at Xiaobai. She could sense something off about him. Was he worried about something? Was he about to go away soon and leave her for long time again? That thought scared her and made her very sad. But watching him smile at Gungun, she reasoned with herself that that must not be the case. She would have to ask him later when they were alone, she decided.

And she did get a chance to be alone with him soon. After the food was all gobbled up, Ah-Li reminded everyone that they had to go to the fair after lunch. So Gungun, Ah-Li, Bai Xian and Ye Hua all got ready to go.

“I will bring you sugar paintings, mom. Tell me what kind you want?”, Gungun said.

“Bring me back one dragon and one fox.”, she replied and exchanged a meaningful look with Dijun. That did bring back fond memories and a smile to Dijun’s face. She was happy to see her trick had worked to lighten his mood.

After they were all gone, Dijun closed the door behind them. He came back to her and helped her walk to the window. Although it was quite bright and sunny outside, the glorious willow tree in the yard provided just enough shade on the window seat. They both sat there with Dijun wrapping his arms around Xiaobai.

“What’s going on, Dijun? What’s been worrying you? Please tell me. And please be completely honest with me, ok? No matter how bad whatever that is, I want to know. And I want to work together with you to make it better. So tell me why you are so sad, so worried?” Xiaobai said looking into his eyes with  sincerity.

“Xiaobai, I overheard what you were telling your aunt about the time of Gungun’s birth. I am feeling so guilty about that. As a husband I have failed you. Miserably failed you. I am so very sorry.”, Dijun’s voice cracked.

Xiaobai let out a long sigh and took his hands in hers. She looked at him, quite relieved that the worry wasn't anything about their future. She began to talk. “Dijun, what has passed is gone by. No matter what, we can never change it. So please let it all go. I do feel guilty about misunderstanding you, about talking to you coldly last time we met in the Sky Kingdom and keeping your son away from you for so long. But I am learning from it and learning to let it go. Let’s promise to always be completely honest with each other. Let’s start over, ok?”

A deep sigh left Dijun’s mouth as relief washed over him. His Xiaobai was still willing to give him another chance. She was asking to start afresh with him.

“When did my silly little fox become so wise?”, he chuckled and petted her nose. Hugging her, he let out a long sigh. She shifted to be more closer to him.

He pulled her close and said, “Are you tired, Xiaobai? Sleep a little if you are tired.” He planted a soft kiss on her hair, “Be a good girl and take rest for a while. We can take a small walk outside later if you feel better.”

“Hhmm..”, she said. Then she  sunk her head on his chest and closed her eyes contentedly.

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 4

(Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/94012710960069447/)

Dijun was getting ready to undress and go to bed. Xiaobai woke up at that time. She opened her eyes and as they slowly gained focus realized that he was undressing. She blushed peach pink and recalled a time in Fanyin valley when she had walked in on him undressing. And she blushed some more.

He turned to see her awake and walked to her bed, his robe gone, collar loose and hair slightly unkempt. ‘He is just so gorgeous’, Xiaobai thought and smiled a shy smile. He smiled back and extended his hand to touch her forehead. He asked very gently, “You are awake. Are you feeling better now?”.

She nodded, took his hand and tried to sit up. He helped her up and adjusted the cushions behind her. She smelled a fresh smell of sandalwood and was completely enthralled for a moment. Compared to him she must look very shabby, she thought and realized that she wanted to clean herself up.

“Dijun, I feel very stuffy and sore from sleeping too much. Could you help me get up, get cleaned and change my clothes?”, she asked. Something flickered for just a second in his eyes. He seemed to have controlled it quickly and she decided to let it go. She really should focus and get cleaned up, she decided.

“Sure, let’s try to do that. But let’s be very careful and take it slow, ok?”, Dijun said with something dark, mischievous but controlled in his tone. She understood what she had seen in his eyes had been very real.

“Don’t get distracted. Focus, Bai Fengjiu”, she ordered herself in her head.

Dijun brought a basin of water and a clean white towel. With a wave of his hand he warmed the water and tested it. Then he dipped the towel in, rinsed it and slowly, very carefully began wiping her face, her hands, fingers and palms.

Somehow that wasn’t enough for her. She loosened her robe and let it fall down. She loosened all her clothes a little bit gingerly. She was still very sore. Taking the towel from Dijun she started wiping herself down.

Dijun watched intently. He was trying his hardest to control himself. She could feel his gaze on her, on her skin, on the fresh scars and bruises on her body from her recent battle. That made her blush all over again. But the icky sweaty feeling from being in bed for so long was something she was anxious to get rid of, so she continued.

For once Dijun felt very uneasy. He had missed this woman. He wanted her desperately. He had a burning need in his heart to touch and feel her. But the scars and bruises on that milky white skin were very real. He could not wait to hold her in his arms, but he was anxious get her healed completely. He had never felt so helpless. So out of his depth. The physical trauma of many many bloody battles he had fought over the last couple million years, was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil going on in his head right now.

When she tried to reach her back, her wounds hurt and a tiny cry of pain escaped her. She closed her eyes tightly to let the pain pass. Dijun groaned, pressed his lips shut and took the towel from her hand. He carefully  moved her hair away and wiped her neck and back himself. Even the slight brush of his fingers on her skin was torturous for him. He did feel her tremor slightly and almost gave up. Somehow, he finished the job.

When he was done, he rinsed the towel with fresh water and handed it back to her. As she started working down her long and shapely legs, he stepped away. Even a deity who was said to have born of a rock, had his limits.

He turned away, went to the cabinet to pull up fresh clothes for her and forced himself to concentrate fully on that task. She was somewhat miffed, somewhat relieved with his stepping away. Forcing herself to wipe down her feet, she wanted to make quick work of it. She was hurting everywhere though, so bending to reach her toes was a struggle. She decided not to push it for now. When she was done enough, she dropped the towel in the water basin and sighed. A fresh, cool breeze touched her skin and brought goosebumps. She hugged herself.

When he turned to face her, they both could feel that the temperature in the room had gone up significantly. Could feel the electricity simmering between them. They both knew it would be foolish to give in to it, so they just avoided eye contact as he helped her get dressed.

Apparently she had exerted herself too much with just that much work though. As she stood up to wear her clothes, she suddenly found the entire room turning pitch back and started to collapse down. Realizing what was going on, Dijun supported her and quickly lifted her in his arms.

With a wave of his hand he changed the sheets and cushions on the bed for fresh ones. Then he laid her down extremely carefully. As he was about to back off, she fought against the darkness engulfing her mind, gathered all her strength and tugged at his sleeve. Being half dressed and in his arms, smelling the white sandalwood smell so close had obliterated the last of her restraints. She opened her eyes and pleaded to him, “Don’t go. Stay. Please.”

Dong Hua gave in at that instant. Yes, even a deity born up of a rock had his limits. He hugged her and pulled her close, struggling to be very very careful. His lips closed on hers. Hungry, needy to the brink of combustion. She trembled ever so slightly and answered his need with a torrent of her own. They both got completely lost in each other. But her physical strength was waning away. Even if her heart was wanting, her body was not yet ready.

She had exerted herself way too much. She started to feel faint again. Dijun figured what was happening and released her. He caressed her face and said apologetically, “Duìbùqǐ, Xiaobai. I should not have rushed you.” “It wasn’t only you... who was rushing... I have missed you so....”, she replied faintly and gave in to the sleep overpowering her mind without even finishing her sentence.

Dijun slowly calmed his own breathing. She had tried to stop him from feeling guilty about kissing her. She had missed him. She did love him so much. She had wanted him just as much as he had wanted her. He smiled a somewhat smug, somewhat guilty smile, and brushed his fingers on her nose.

Xiaobai. Xiaobai was incredible. Xiaobai was his. All his. Only his. And Dong Hua was hers. All hers. Only hers.

He waved his hand to put the room back in order and dimmed the candles. Then he pulled the quilt over Xiaobai and himself. Slowly, he moved an errant strand of hair away from her face. Then took her small hand in one of his own and put his other hand on her waist. Satisfied, he closed his eyes.

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 3

(Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/469711436133487066/)

It had been somewhat quite these past few days. Dijun had settled into the Quingqui way of life slowly. His wife’s family, now his family, had slowly come around to understanding his past and forgiving him. They were never the ones to hold a grudge anyways. They knew he cared for Xiaobai deeply. He cared for Gungun deeply. There was nothing more they would ask of him.

Gungun had stayed with him all this while. Every time he looked at the little boy he was in awe. And he fell in love with his once lively, now comatose Xiaobai all over again. She had created this little miracle. For him. The two people in this room were his first ever real family in a few million years.

As Dijun watched Gungun read a book, he was surprised. Were little boys his age always this obedient and well behaved? Gungun had shown keen interest in reading as well as in learning new things. He had a natural curiosity to figure things out.

As evening came, Cheng Yu and Si Ming walked in. They greeted his majesty and Gungun. They inquired about the Little Princess Fengjiu. There wasn’t any change to report, but Zhe Yan had been to see his patient earlier that week and had sounded hopeful about her waking up soon.

”Would you like to come to the Sky Kingdom with me,  Little Prince? I am about to head out and the Prince Ah-li had asked me to bring you along for a few days. Of course, if it is alright with Dijun?”, Si Ming asked politely after the initial conversation.

“Sure, Si Ming. I need to give you some instructions regarding things in Tai Chen palace. Gungun, say goodbye to mom. I will see you both out. Cheng Yu, do you mind staying with Xiaobai for some time? Gungun was reading to her, maybe you could continue?”, said Dijun.

“Sure”, said Cheng Yu gladly. She took the book from Gungun and patted his silver hair.

Gungun smiled and walked over to his mom. “Mom, please wake up soon. I miss talking to you. And I miss the food you make for me. I have been a good boy like I promised. Little Uncle Ah-li has invited me to Sky Kingdom. I will be gone for a few days. I will be a good boy. I will ask father to take good care of you. You get well and wake up soon, ok?”, he said as he held his mom’s hand and kissed it sweetly.

“Father, please take care of mom. Remember, don‘t let her get cold at night. Ok?”, he tilted his head and said to Dijun. Dijun smiled and extended his pinky in promise. Then they walked out hand in hand with Si Ming following behind.

Cheng Yu sat down near the bed and continued reading. It was a book about Buddhist Theories. Cheng Yu knew Xiaobai never liked that subject, but she didn’t know how else to keep Xiaobai company and make her presence felt. So she read on.

After some time, she felt Xiaobai‘s fingers move. Slowly Xiaobai opened her eyes. Cheng Yu bent over her surprised, excited and so happy to finally see her friend wake up. “Are you feeling better, Fengjiu? Are you still hurting?”

Fengjiu gave a faint smile and nodded. Then she mouthed her first word in several months, “Dijun?”, she inquired worriedly. Cheng Yu closed the book and said, “Well, Dijun... ” and glanced at the door.

Somehow this worried Fengjiu into a frightened fit. As if possessed, She mustered all her strength to cling tightly to Cheng Yu’s arm and pulled herself half up from her pillow. She asked urgently, “Cheng Yu, where is Dijun? How is he? Is he okay? If not, I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to live without him. I can‘t live without him. I won’t... .“

Cheng Yu struggled to get over Fengjiu’s sudden outburst and tried to calm her down, “Shhhh... stop. Listen to me. Listen, please. Dijun is okay. He has completely recovered. He just stepped out to see Si Ming and Gungun off to Sky Kingdom. The Quixin toxic in his body has also been fully cured. Star Light ward has been broken and everyone is safe now. You are the only one still not recovered.“

Fengjiu let out a huge sigh and slipped back on the bed. A trickle of few tears still escaped from her eyes onto her pale face. “Dijun is alright? I am happy.“, she smiled. But then she caught on to something else that Ching Yu had said and asked worriedly again, “Wait, did you say Dijun went out to see Gungun off? You mean my Gungun? You know about my Gungun? Dijun knows about my Gungun too? Is Dijun very upset with me that I kept his son away from him for 200 years?” Fresh tears filled her eyes and her face was full of worry again.

”I am not upset. I am grateful. And I am so sorry, Xiaobai.”, Dijun who had just appeared in the doorway and had heard their last conversation, replied. He appeared to be in a daze as he ran to his wife and held her hands tightly. Cheng Yu made a smart and timely exit.

”Dijun, you are okay. You are really okay. I am so sorry, Dijun. I thought you wanted to stay with Ji Heng. I didn’t want my child and I to be a burden for you. I have known the pain of having to stay away from the one I love. I could never wish for you to go through that. I didn’t want my family to force you to take our responsibility either, especially if you had decided to be with Ji Heng. So I left. I am so sorry. I really didn’t do it to keep Gungun away from you.” Fengjiu said tearfully. She was tired from all the excitement of walking up and all the talking. She stopped to catch her breath.

Dijun helped her to sit up and supported her on his shoulder. He held her close and said, “Xiaobai, I am truly not upset. I am sorry. It was my behavior that led you to think this way. It was a miscommunication from my side that put you through all that. I can never forgive myself for it. But I do want to ask for your forgiveness. I will prove to you every single minute for the rest of my life that I am yours and yours alone. No one is more important to me than you. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. Please?” .  Xiaobai held his hands firmly, dried her tears and nodded that she would.

Dijun felt like a heavy burden was lifted off his heart. He bent down and planted a lingering kiss on his beautiful wife’s delicate nose.

They heard footsteps outside their room. Cheng Yu had told everyone that Fengjiu had recovered and they had rushed to see her. Si MIng who had almost left had also come back with Gungun. There were words of congratulations and thankfulness all around. Everyone was trying to show her how much she was loved.

Gungun was the first one to rush to her bed and hold her hand. She kissed his forehead and smiled. Demon lord Xiaoyan could not stop boasting how powerful his friend Xiaojiu was. Third prince and Ye Quingti and Xie Gu were all bowing to her and showing appreciation.

Zhe Yan came forward to check her pulse. He declared that she was finally completely out of danger. “However, the recovery will be a slow process for sure.”, he explained. “You will be in and out of consciousness for the next few months. Try not to over exert yourself and rest as much as you can. I will modify your medicine for this next phase of recovery. Dijun, you need not give her any more of your golden blood. She can recover just with my medicines from here on out.”

Everyone was relieved to hear that. They saw all this excitement was tiring her out, so they all asked her to rest up and left. Dijun helped her lie back down and he laid down next to her himself.

After so many months, he was a bit relieved.

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 2

(Image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/1829656087662319/)

The Bai household was bustling with activity today. The former queen of Quingqui and the future queen  of Sky Kingdom, Bai Xian was visiting after a long time. Her son Ah-li was with her too. He had always been quite close to his Fengjiu Jiejie. Knowing that Fengjiu was in coma had had both Xian and Ah-li worried. So they had come to check on her.

Bai Xian and Dijun exchanged pleasantries. Dijun introduced Gungun. After the initial shock and surprise, Bai Xian and Gungun took an instant liking to this little silver haired boy.

Bai Xian checked on the sleeping Fengjiu and then excused herself. She went on to look for her mother.

Ah-li and Gungun took a seat at the window, watching the birds outside and started chatting. Dijun busied himself with preparing medicine for his wife. He could hear the little boys talk excitedly nearby.

“So, where have you lived all this while, Gungun? What’s your home like?”, asked the ever curious Ah-li.

“Mother and I lived in the mortal realm. Not in any one place though. Mother says I grow much slowly than mortal children so to avoid people talking and making more trouble, we move every few months or every couple years.”, Gungun explained. “We still do get into plenty of trouble anyways, but at least we have gotten better in the last couple years”, he added.

That just piqued A-li’s interest immensely and his eyes shone brightly. “Tell me all about it. I know when I went around with Fengjiu Jiejie we often got into trouble, but she always made an adventure out of it.”

Dijun was listening, he did get worried when Gungun said trouble, but on hearing Ah-li’s response, a tiny chuckle escaped him. Yes, that was true. His Xiaobai could turn a trouble into an adventure any time. That was one of the many things he admired about her. Curious to learn more, he diverted his attention back to the little boys by the window.

“Well, my earliest memory is of Mother fighting a bunch of roughs. Their leader wanted to hold Mother’s hand and take her away. He said he had never seen a beauty like her. Mother tried to reason with him to leave her alone, but when he didn’t listen, she kicked him. So they all came to fight with her.

Out of nowhere Mother took out a knife, made it into a sword and fought them all by herself. But the leader guy was sly. He picked me up and started threatening her. She was furious. She did something with her hand, a bright red light shot up and the guy holding me went flying backwards, while Mother caught me. That scared them all and they ran away shouting. But all that fighting had injured Mother too. She was bleeding all over and was also spitting blood. I was very scared. But Mother is brave. She smiled at me, told me not to worry, collected just a few things from home and took me away.” Gungun’s face showed all kinds emotions as he spoke. But most of all, you could feel the pride the little boy felt for his Mother. She was his hero.

Listening to all this perturbed Dijun’s heart. He should have been there for her. She had been all alone while he was still alive. He had promised her, over and over, that he would never leave her alone. That he would always be with her. He had failed miserably to keep that promise. No wonder she had not believed him and walked away, when he had said no one was more important to him than her. After what she had gone through, after what he had inadvertently put her through, how could she ever believe him? Why should she believe him? His heart broke at the thought. The ring on Xiaobai’s finger glowed again.

Ah-li’s eyes had grown as big as saucers. “Wow, what an amazing story! I am so proud of Fengjiu Jiejie. Tell me more.”, Ah-li said leaning closer.

“More? Well there are so many stories like this. A few months later, Mother had started covering up the Phoenix feather on her forehead with something she called cosmetics. She had also started dying my hair black so we could both look more like mortals. At that time she ran a small tea stall in a different town. One day it started raining heavily and before we could wrap up our stall and go home, we were both drenched. Her cosmetics had washed away and the Phoenix feather on her forehead glowed. I thought it looked so pretty, but there was a mortal nearby who saw and told everyone she was a demon. People gathered around us and wanted to throw all kinds of things at us. The bad guy jeered at us, he told everyone to capture Mother and hand her over to him. Mother did something clever this time. She did some magic to make the black snake come out of his sleeve. And then she told everyone that the guy himself was a bad wizard and he kept black snakes as pets. That scared everyone long enough and we ran away.”, Gungun recalled.

“You ran away to where? What did you do after running away? Did the bad guy chase you? Tell me, tell me, tell me....”,  Ah-li begged to know more.

“He tried to chase us, but we were too fast for him. Mother flew us away to nearby forest and we took shelter in a cave that time. Her magic had hurt her though. She was spitting blood for so many days after that. She said it was because of backfire from her magic. Immortals were not allowed to use magic in mortal realm, so it was like a punishment. ”

“We began living in that cave. We did not have any quilts etc in there, but Mother made us beds with some grass and we kept fire running at the door all the time. Mother said it kept the wild animals away. She worked hard there too. She would take me on her back and go gathering fruits and hunting during the day. At night she would feed me first and eat only if something was left over. She used to get fever at night for several nights - may be because of the back fire or the cold in that cave. But at least we were safe from bad guys for the time being. In spite of all this, she always kept smiling and told me I was enough for her to be happy. I tried to help as best as I could. Slowly things got better as Mother recovered. We lived in that cave for several months, all the way till winter was almost starting.”

“That’s an amazing story! I wish I could have been there with you both. I would have also helped and would have also enjoyed the adventures.”, Ah-li sighed.

Chonglin came in at that very moment. He bowed to Dijun and the little ‘your majesties’. He had brought dinner for Dijun and a message for the boys. “Your grandma said you both need to come with me. I will help you wash up for dinner.”, he said.

Gungun looked at Dijun as if asking for permission silently. He didn’t really know Chonglin yet. Dijun smiled and nodded a yes. All of them left to go eat.

Dijun was alone with his wife. He left the food alone for the time being and gave her her medicine. He lovingly wiped her face and adjusted the quilt on her. He bent down and planted a soft kiss on the Phoenix feather on her forehead. Dijun sighed. Xiaobai did not stir.

He sat next to her bed as he started eating. His thoughts drifted again. He had wondered why she had stubbornly stayed away from him for almost 200 years. Even if she was mad at him, she could not have stayed mad at him for that long. She would have at least tried to meet him once. She would not have made a deliberate attempt to avoid him like that.

Her actions were becoming more and more clear now. When he did not show up for their wedding and also didn’t show up for over a couple months after that, she was forced to believe that he had given up on them. She must have believed that he had chosen Ji Feng and left her. She must have realized she was pregnant at that time. So to avoid complicating things, she had taken herself away. She had stayed away to protect his son and also to protect him.

It had been a huge mistake to hide things from her. It had been his mistake. It had been his love. She had paid the hefty price for it.

And yet, she had come. In spite of everything. When she had heard Dijun’s side of story from Chonglin and found out about his battle with Miao Luo, she had kept everything else aside and rushed to protect him.

He recalled how her delicate, fragile frame had burst in through the Star Light ward wielding her Pottery sword in front of the fearsome Miao Luo. Her graceful, agile movements had showed no trace of hesitation. She was determined to save him. Even if it meant sacrificing herself.

How could someone love him so much? How could she love him so much? Love was mysterious in many ways!

He realized that while he thought he was protecting her, she had suffered so much. For him.

And in the end it had been her who had protected him. It was the blood from her heart, the heart of the only red nine-tailed fox in the universe, that had cleansed the immense negative energy from Miao Luo. It was her blood that had destroyed Miao Luo forever, cleared up all the negative energy, broken the Star Light ward and saved him. Saved Bihai Cangling. Saved this universe from chaos.

Yes, he had underestimated her grossly. He had been captivated by her ethereal fragile beauty, her innocence. He had completely missed her strength, her perseverance and her power. Yes, she was powerful. In her own right. She had not need him as much as he had needed her, he thought wryly.

Yes, she was the only one for him.

Eternal Love of Dream - Chapter Next 1

"Gungun, I am your father!", Dijiun said with an unmistakable tremble in his voice.

It was Gungun's turn to be surprised. Based on what Mother had told him,  he did not have a father. She had explained that since they were immortals, it was possible for a child to not have one. But this handsome looking uncle said he was Gungun's father!

Surprise, then confusion slowly gave rise to the realization that as long as this uncle was willing to be his father, he would be very happy. No more weird looks from his friends in the mortal realm, no more jeering questions.

And may be, just may be, this person would be willing to help his Mother too. Gungun worried about his Mother. She was all alone with no relatives in the mortal realm and had to manage everything by herself. He had seen his Mother tired, stressed, many times even fighting with a sword and getting injured. But still always smiling a brave, loving smile for Gungun. Since this person was sitting next to Gungun's mother's bed, trying to feed her medicine, may be he did care about Gungun's Mother. So, all in all, it was a happy thing to have found a father.

"Father!", Gungun said, with a smile lighting up his face and tried to wrap his tiny arms around his father in a tight hug.

Dijun pulled Gungun close in his arms and planted a kiss on his forehead. Then he hugged him some more. And planted some more kisses. The ring on Xiaobai's finger, which was made from Dijun's heart, glowed. It almost felt like Xiaobai stirred. But when Dijun looked at her, she was laying as still as before.

After the initial shock wore off, Dijun lifted his head above Gungun's silver hair. He held the boy at arms length, still keeping him close, still holding hands. Slowly he asked, "Gungun, where have you been? How did you come here today?". Gungun replied, "I have always lived with Mother in the mortal realm. At least that's what Mother calls it. It was Uncle Xie who brought me here today. He told me Mother was injured and that I had to be responsible."

“How did you meet Uncle Xie?”, Dijun asked a little bit perplexed.

“Some time ago, Mother took me to a place called the Nether world. She helped another uncle wake up and then had to leave for Sky kingdom. She promised me she would be back soon and asked me to be a good boy and stay with Uncle Xie.”, Gungun replied.

Looking at his Mother Gungun continued, “Father, when will Mother wake up? She never sleeps for so long. Can I stay with her? I don’t want her to sleep alone. She always kicks the sheets at night, feels cold and starts to whimper. I often wake up from the noise and pull the sheets up on her. When I am not with her, she might feel cold at night. So I want to stay with her.”

Dijun smiled a weak smile and said, “So she has not changed. I promise you, Gungun, I will not let her feel cold. I will stay by her side and take care of her myself. Don’t worry, ok?”

Gungun felt relieved. He lifted his little pinky and made his father promise properly. He was satisfied then.

[Picture source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/428827195773027503/]

———-

Why I write?

Because I can’t help it? There are all these scenes and dialogs and characters saying those dialogs floating in my head, that I feel the need to get them out. That’s all.

Yes, this blog will focus on fanfiction (and may be an occasional poem or even a rant or some musings of my mind). 

Yes, there are bound to be references and things from related TV shows and books that the shows were based on. 

But at the end of the day I am not wanting to copy anyone else’s work or worse, take credit for anyone else’s work. No, that’s definitely not my intention. If you feel your work is referred here and you want me to link back to you, by all means please let me know.

Also, I will wholeheartedly welcome constructive criticism on my writing. But there is no need to be nasty or mean. To me or other readers / commenters. If you cannot be civil, please don’t visit this space. 

Here’s to enjoyable reading, tears of happiness, (mostly) happy endings and most of all happy now-and-aheads. 

Peace!