That quirky moment when the voices are so loud that you have to crawl into your bed sit in complete darkness and blast music until your ears bleed for you to feel okay again

7/5/2023 trying again 🤙

Nvm I failed ☹️

does anyone else feel like that all of the mentally ill messed up people on here are like family?

like yeah, I’m a sh-er, but I can relate to the ana’s and buli’s on here too?

like we’re all messed up together

idk if it’s just me 🤷‍♀️

“The pain is temporary.”

Yeah, well, so is happiness.

I thought it was gone,

I thought I was getting better

But here I am, back in the black hole as I’ve always been

I wonder if I even left.

The urge to die is so strong I can hardly breathe.

that moment when you can’t talk to anyone so you just use AI 🤡

I want to get help, but I don’t know what could possibly stop me from wanting to die.

You know it’s getting bad when you start rewatching Bojack Horseman.

My good days make me wonder if it’s all in my head.

“How can you expect them to think something’s wrong when you hide it so well?”

Is it just me or does anyone else just get the random desperate urge to chug alcohol and take all the possible drugs you can find while having never done anything similar before?-🤡

do you ever get to the point where $h isnt fun anymore but its just apart of your routine

My two choices are to die or to live,

But I don’t want to do either.

I like being in the dark because no one can see my scars.

Wishful Thinking (tw vent)

I want a kind of help no one can give me.

The kind where I’m dragged down kicking and screaming, pleading blatant lies that “no, I don’t need help, I don’t need it,” while in reality I do, I really do.

I want to be force-fed reassurances while I sit there, unchanging, because then, only then will they will realize who I truly am. Understanding dawning upon them that I’m not deserving of the treatment I’m given. That I’m a worthless human being deserving being treated less than trash so that they truly, truly give up. Then they’ll let me go, with disappointment in their eyes, and I’ll stand alone in my misery, free of judgement, because I’m already the lowest of the low. I can’t get worse because I am my worst. I’ll finally stop trying, and then one day, I’ll die.

But that is the kind of help no one can give me, because that’s not help at all, just wishful thinking.