[ greasefanboy ]

You let him talk and that cold nothing takes it’s place back in the bottom of your stomach. You’ve been here before, crying alone and hoping someone would tell you to keep living. To tell you that you were worth missing. You threw out cries for help and nobody answered, because they knew that you would have ever found the guts to go through with it. No. That would be too easy. They couldn’t get that lucky.  But now is different. You have the power to give him what nobody gave you. So even if everything is whirling, you pull him in and hold him tight enough for it to hurt and bury your head into that violet streak right between his horns. You know why you’re so in deep for him now. He mirrors every ache you’ve ever felt and no matter what, you want him to have it better than you ever did. You don’t want him to be scared or lonely or broken, even if you’re not the person to prevent it.

CA: please stop, eridan. evwen if you dont vwant to. CA: please dont do this shit anymore CA: i cant  CA: i dont vwant you to get hurt i just CA: i vwant you to be okay. i  CA: want to be with you and 

You can’t. You’ll cry when you want to be strong enough for both of you. 

You’re so happy and miserable all at once, and you think about Cronus’s precious, treasured humans and their lack of quadratic affections, so neatly divvied-up between what’s appropriate and what’s advised. You don’t understand how any of them could survive it, this swell and torrent of jumbled and blended feelings welling up from within you like a frigid tide. It aches and makes you giddy and lightheaded, and you wipe your eyes on the hem of your scarf before you put some distance between the two of you, giving yourself room to look into his eyes.

CA: youre an idiot yknow

You reach to touch his face, to run your thumb over the corner of his mouth, so like your own in every way.

CA: you want to be with me? CA: im yours already CA: i been yours since i was a wiggler cronus CA: even before i knew youd be more of

You blush. Emotional moment or not, what you’re about to say is so painfully corny, you can almost smell Karkat making some comment about how it sounds like something from one of his romcoms. Still, it needs to be said, He deserves to hear it.

CA: before i knew youd be more of a hero to me than dualscar could ever measure up to

CA: i get it now CA: your the real him CA: hes nothin but a copy CA: theres no him without you CA: not the other way around

CA: i wont go back to work there CA: if you still want me after what i done then id be stupid to keep doin it CA: ill find a job somewhere else CA: it was beneath me anyway

Your breath is shaky and you’re blushing and trembling and hoping to be kissed. Your fingertips find his throat and your bloodpusher hiccups. You’ve never been kissed before and he’s so close. So close, wanting you, wanting to be with you, to be yours --

     CA: kiss me?

[ greasefanboy ]

CA: so thats it. CA: i dont count for anything then, huh? CA: and no i vwouldnt havwe taken it. i take my clothes off howvevwer i damn vwell please and at the end of the day nothing bad happens to me because im in control of it.  CA: but i get it. you dont havwe to explain to me anymore. It’s been a long time since you were this angry. You can’t even force yourself to hold it against him. You know why he’s doing it. It’s the same damn reason you started dancing in the first place. But you wish you counted for something to him and, you can’t even bring yourself to hold that against him either. You know you’re a pathetic excuse for a person, let alone a dancestor. 

In the end, it all boils down to you. You’re not enough to keep him safe. Maybe he even got the idea whenever he found out what you were doing to put food on the table. You’re poison to everything you touch and don’t even have what it takes to stop.  

CA: the only person you havwe to answver for is yourself  CA: not to me, not to any of those scumbags vwho put you through hell.  CA: so if you can say to yourself vwith this is vwhat you vwant one hundred percent then fine.  CA: ill still be around if you dont vwant to be alone again.  CA: for all thats vworth.

You just stand there and let him talk at you, shaking from boot to horntip. You hurt his feelings with what you just said; that much is obvious to you, and you feel sick with yourself for doing so, and sicker with yourself for waiting for him to say more. He’s so, so angry, and you want that anger to turn into something passionate, something constructive -- but it doesn’t. He doesn’t tell you anything concrete or give you an ultimatum. He doesn’t tell you to stop.

CA: wwho said they put me through HELL

But you’re warbling and hiccuping and there are tears prickling behind your eyes, and your claws are digging into your palms hard enough to draw blood.

CA: and wwhen did i evven SAY you dont mean anything? CA: i just knoww wwhat you wwant from me is all CA: an its not because im cute or special or anythin its just because of wwhat i am to you CA: youre cullin me or somethin arent you? thats wwhat this is about CA: its not ME

You grab his hands and press them against your chest and press forward, burying your face in the front of his shirt. Your shoulders heave.

CA: its never me CA: its not me for any of those guys and its not me for you CA: you wont even tell me to stop

CA: please just tell me to stop

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell

[ greasefanboy ]

Your first instinct is to be afraid, because you’re used to that tone being used against you. That harsh mocking tone that makes you feel like an idiot. The idea of Eridan being the one to use it to hurt you is terrifying. But once you process the words you hollow out to a cold lack of emotion. Why would he do that? 

You grab him by the arms and turn him fast to look at you, and it hardly takes any strength for you to cage him in to the adjacent counter. It’s quick, painless and precise. You don’t want to hurt him.

CA: vwhat the HELL vwere you thinking?  CA: and dont try to play tough guy vwith me on this one chief. im not buying it.  CA: if it vwas money i would havwe helped you out  CA: hell i vwould havwe taken up tvwo jobs if you vwere really struggling that bad.  CA: so vwhat are you doing it for? dont just stand there, say something.  You pull back to give him space but you don’t take your fingers away from the counter. It’s all unreal and you want to be so much angrier than you are, but all you can do is feel this cold. Like everything is moving slow and you’re watching yourself from across the room. He could get hurt. People hurt people who did that sort of thing. He could get sick or killed and he doesn’t even care. Why doesn’t he care? The anger finally floods in and you’re shaking from it. 

Cronus grabs you and you can’t help it; your immediate thought, immediate instinct, is that he’s trying to hurt you, and you know he can, and your fins fold up and you cast your eyes down to his shoes, glubbing pathetically. When it becomes apparent to you that he’s not going to hurt you, the anger flares up again and you rub at the side of your nose, trying not to cry.

CA: it wwasnt JUST the money cro although that did havve somethin to do wwith it CA: no offense but no amount of menial labor you wwoulda done for me couldvve amounted to wwhat they pay me by the hour CA: im livvin higher than i evver havve CA: evven on alternia i didnt havve this much money

Or this much attention, right? Your fins flutter and you press back against the counter.

CA: look it wwas just like CA: im not GOOD for nothin cronus okay im just NOT CA: all i evver do is fuck up an i wwas offered somethin to do to help me belong somewwhere so wwhy the fuck wwouldnt i take it? CA: you tellin me YOU wwouldnt havve taken it? CA: dont you make your money by takin your clothes off?

[ greasefanboy ]

You know how awful that feels because you basically did the same thing. You went off on Rufioh because you were so convinced was so awful to you when really the only reason he hung around was because you made it so nobody could stand being around you. And in the end? You were the bad one. You’re always the bad one. But you don’t think Eridan is as bad as you. You don’t believe in anything anymore but you’re willing to put all of your cards into it.

You rest an elbow on the counter beside him, and think about kissing him. But you think about what happens if it goes wrong or, even worse, if it doesn’t. You can’t be good to anyone what makes you think you could be good to him? 

CA: youre not ugly and it doesnt matter vwhy youre here.  CA: you could tell i vwasnt doing so great and you dropped evwerything to come ovwer. CA: thats vwhat good people do.  CA: youre good to me and thats honestly vworth a lot so CA: thanks.  It’s awful of you, just plain awful to keep standing over him. You know what signals you’re giving off and you won’t stop them. It doesn’t matter what you do, you can’t be good and you can’t be anything but selfish. So you don’t move and try to gauge how he takes it. 

Cronus is looming over you, bigger and much more beautiful than any of the human guys you’ve had around your place of work, and it makes something inside you ache with this desperate, visceral need. Dualscar. He’s him, isn’t he? He is. But he isn’t. He’s himself, too, and that little vulnerable, gnarled thing that makes him so uniquely sad is so fucking appealing to you that it makes you hate yourself more to make room for loving him.

He wants to kiss you. You can feel it in his stance, the way his face is open for you to read it; he wants to kiss you and make it real, and make it nice and good and because you just have to fuckin’ ruin everything, you do.

CA: thats quite the wway to look at another troll cronus CA: you bring that face to my wwork an maybe ill givve you a good time for free

You want him so much, in so many ways, and you know you’re ruining things by talking and talking and talking, but you don’t stop. You’re ruined already, anyway; what’s the use in pretending you’ll be anything of worth to him once he finds out what you are?

CA: wwhen i said i make money on my back i didnt mean it figurativvely CA: think that ovver an then decide wwhether or not you should be lookin at me like that

You sneer and turn away from him in feigned arrogance, already steeling yourself to the onslaught of his contempt.

[ theseerofblight ]

TT: While yes, this is the white haired human, I’d prefer it if you called me Rose. I’d also like to say that I doubt I actually had something resembling pitch feelings towards you.

TT: In fact, I’m not sure if I’d have something like that in me when I was thirteen.

TT: But sure, I’d be glad to help you get your bearings on the human world, to an extent. I’m going to assume that common decency is in play and if you ask me something that I’m uncomfortable with, I’m allowed to decline answering if I need to.

CA: yeah of fuckin COURSE i aint about to make no lady uncomfortable CA: particularly not one wwith the color affectations of a highblood

CA: but thanks rose thats real nice of you CA: for starters uh CA: wwhat kind of stuff do humans do on dates?

[ greasefanboy ]

CA:  theres not really all that much in there. grocery day is tomorrowv so yeah.  CA: i mean i havwe some beef? i vwasnt really planning on cooking it  CA: but far be it from me to try and arguing vwith you.  CA: if youre going through the trouble id expect you to eat some vwith me.  You give a wink and compile what various ingredients you have lying around. It’s a bunch of almost bad and stale things, but you’ve got enough to cook a meal or two. Once you’ve laid out the arsenal you allow yourself to relax and lean against one of the counters. It’s nice, being taken care of for once. The fact he’s actually worried about you takes off the edge off everything else and being with him keeps you in the present. You needed this tonight. 

CA: hey. thanks for coming ovwer. CA: i knowv youre probably busy and taking care of my ass vwasnt on the agenda CA: but its really svweet of you. 

He compliments you in a sincere, genuine way, and it takes you by complete surprise; you nearly drop your knife and blush cold all the way up into your face, around your gills. There are hickeys on your neck and you hate that, because it’d be really nice to be able to take your scarf off and let some air in. You swallow.

CA: its not a fuckin problem so you dont havve to make it into one CA: and it aint swweet neither CA: ivve been lonely

You’re kind of surprised you went in with full honesty, but...here we are.

CA: i had a fight wwith one of my old... CA: wwell wwe wwerent really FRIENDS because i wwas a fuckin jackass to her an she hated my ugly guts CA: but i just kind of wwent off and didnt wwant to talk to nobody for awwhile CA: and then i got scouted for this neww job wwhich i fuckin HATE but wwhich pays me a fuckin boatload so i aint about to quit anytime soon CA: but i spend almost all a my time there an

You trail off, shrugging. God, you just want him to ask about it so badly. You want him to pry. You want him to care. You really are a little attention whore, aren’t you? Haven’t you always been?

CA: anywway i came for selfish reasons so dont go makin me out to be some swweetheart CA: im anythin but that

[ greasefanboy ]

[ Maybe it’s because you can’t imagine Eridan lying down for anyone, maybe you simply don’t want to read into it. His remark strikes you as odd but the message doesn’t quite sink in. You assume that maybe he’s taken up a bottom rung job and he’s biding his time. Secretaries knew a lot, didn’t they? ]

CA: vwowv, vway slam a guy straight in the nook. you just caught me on an off day is all. i knowv this is hard to believwe but being this handsome takes upkeep.  CA: and sometimes upkeep means taking a day or tvwo to unvwind.  CA: you cant tell me you doll yourself up like that evweryday. [ Okay, dial it back. Even you’re having a hard time buying this switch. Eridan is anything but stupid and even if you are genuinely happy to see him, you’re hamming it. ] CA: so. you hungry?  CA: i havwe learned the art of microvwavwe dinners and howv to make them not taste like shit. 

CA: as a matter of fact i DO doll myself up like this evvery day

     ( you leave out the part where you’re contractually obligated to do so )

CA: and fuckin shit cro microwavve food aint REAL food its like...garbage CA: you gotta get yourself real fish at least or else your just goin to go to wwaste CA: a course i can point out that your in peak physical form compared to others givven that youre a highblood an a vvioletblood to boot but evven so youvve gotta try to keep your body in shape

You glance at Cronus, painfully aware of the violet flush that’s crept to the tips of your earfiins. He looks like everything you’ve wanted since you were a kid, everything that’s supposed to be treating you the way your clients have been treating you instead. You want him to touch you, but gently and innocently, somewhere like your face. You want, and want, and want.

     But nothing will ever come from it. You turn away.

CA: if you wwant i can wwhip us somethin up CA: assumin you got groceries here

[ greasefanboy ]

You managed to clean the living room up so it isn’t a total wreck. Your hair is done but it’s not as precise as it usually is. The t-shirt you pulled out of the dryer is still damp but as hot as it’s been you can’t be assed to care. You don’t stop until he’s at the door, on point and sharp as ever. A better version of you. 

CA: dont vworry about it ill givwe it back evwentually. CA: i just had a blender malfunction that took up my last clean one. no big deal. CA: so are you going to come in or vwhat? It’s not hard to smile. It’s nice to see him again. You come close to putting a hand to the small of his back but you pocket it instead.  CA: so, youre doing pretty vwell for yourself huh? CA: vwhat political powver did you blackmail or should i keep it hush hush?

Political power. His hypothesis sends a shockwave through your gut, and you skirt around his questions about your profession by stepping into his apartment. You feel sick with shame. Cronus has such an inexplicably high opinion of you; if he were to find out how you really make your money...Well...All the same, he is pretty encouraging of that kind of stuff, isn’t he...?

     You snort and for some reason give him the benefit of the doubt.      How to sound proud when you’re about to make such an admission?

CA: yeah sure  CA: the kinda political powwer you make on your back CA: cant say i havvent met some powwerful people though CA: heard some secrets an all

You stride farther into his apartment, pulse throbbing cool between your ribs, and change the subject:

CA: you dont look so good cro CA: you been eatin wwhile i been awway?

[ greasefanboy ]

CA: hes not a quadmate and i dont see that changing evwer. CA: my being an asshole aside, i vwouldnt be surprised if hes svworn off the four square altogether.  CA: but yeah if you vwant to come ovwer sure.  CA: chamomile, second floor, third door to the right.  CA: id go out but laundry day vwas yesterday and im still vworking on that part.  CA:  if you could bring a towvel i could borrowv that vwould be great.

Leaving the “den,” as it’s called, isn’t exactly easy during work hours; you’re frequently cornered by a customer and find yourself unable (unwilling) to turn them down. Still, you’re worried about Cronus, and you’re willing to sneak out if it means giving him some peace of mind.

You bring a soft, plush towel from one of your personal apartment stashes and show up on his front step, raising a hand hesitantly to knock. You do, sharp and short, rapping and anxious. When he answers the door, you try to look haughty and mildly concerned.

CA: here you go cro CA: you dont got any extra towwels? CA: guess maybe i should buy you some since im rollin in cash noww

[ greasefanboy ]

CA:  hes somebody i treated like garbage vwhen he needed me.  CA: i dont think i havwe any right to be asking him if i can be anything to him.  CA: but hes too nice for his own good so hes not telling me to beat it. 

CA: anyvway the point vwas that i should knowv better CA: i vwent in planning on showving you a good time and in the end i still treated you like shit.  CA: id promise to be better but id probably just end up doing something similar. CA: so yeah. sorry. 

CA: cronus? CA: wwhats gotten into you CA: youre actually wworryin me kinda

CA: you didnt treat me like shit you just tried too hard to impress me and that aint nothin i can fault you for considerin i pull the same shit all the time CA: are you alone CA: i aint got nothin to do if you wwant to do somethin wwith me CA: i mean if your new potential quadmate aint gonna get pissed about it or nothin

[ greasefanboy ]

CA: hey there.  CA: i havwent been up to much. ivwe just been doing the same shit i usually do vwhich, its alright.  CA: i met someone i knewv from back home and i guess since then ivwe just kind of been thinking some stuff ovwer. CA: im glad you texted me though.  CA: i vwas starting to think i really blewv it vwith you for good.

CA: bleww it? CA: by doin wwhat exactly CA: by pressin your foot against my nook or by gettin obscenely drunk off a one glass of alcoholic drink

CA: no you didnt bloww it if anythin it made me see you for a kinda not so terrible person in a roundabout fuckin wway CA: you just came off as kind of vvulnerable is all CA: anywway CA: is this friend of yours a quadmate noww? CA: just wwonderin its not that im jealous or nothin

CA: hey this is that wwhite haired human right CA: the one wwhat totally had some kind of black wwaxins for me ages ago but has since cooled off

CA: anywway this is eridan CA: i wwas wwonderin if you could explain some human stuff to me wwhen you got the chance

theseerofblight

CA: hey cro CA: been awwhile since wwe talked CA: im not real sure wwhat happened i just kinda sorta blacked out there for a hot second i guess

CA: anywway yeah im not sure wwhy im evven textin you about this but i just kinda wwanted to see wwhat your up to i guess

greasefanboy

[ purrkind ]

“fine! fine. i get it. ill leave you alone if thats what you really want. its not like this isnt what youve always thought about me to begin with, anyway! nepeta leijon is only good for anything when literally EVERYONE ELSE kicks the bucket. im sorry for thinking we could maybe work to put aside our diffurences since there arent many other trolls here and its, i dont fucking know, lonely?”

Lonely. Your shoulders sag and your eyes open wide. Lonely. You’re shaking with anger and hurt.

     ❝wwhere do you get off talkin to me about lonely nepeta? do you havve any fuckin idea wwhat it wwas like for me havving exactly jack squat NO ONE durin our session. do you knoww wwhat it wwas like to havve twwo quad mates wwho wwere just usin you for one thing or another. i knoww i did a lot of fucked up shit but i been lonely my wwhole life an you just finally get a taste of this shit noww an come cryin to me? tavv lovved you. eq lovved you. ter lovved you. no one fuckin lovved me after i fucked shit up wwith feferi an i was just fuckin by myself. so no i wwouldnt of wwanted you after evveryone else wwas dead. i wwanted you to come see me anywway an you fuckin DIDNT an wwhatevver its fine. okay its fine.❞

It’s probably not fine, because there are tears and you sound miserable and pathetic, but you’re not about to back down so easily.

[ greasefanboy ]

Your eyebrows arch high enough to push your scars up to your hairline, not necessarily surprised with how quickly he took reign on the situation but it was definitely new. You were always the domineering part of a conversation, so having those tables flipped felt a bit odd. He was bossy and confident and it would be a lie to say you weren’t at least a little jealous. Somewhere deep down you know all of your confidence is just bravado and, it makes you wonder if maybe the universe had gotten the wrong guy to be the Orphaner. God, you wanted to piss him off. Just to see him scowl again.

CRONUS: oh you knowv, just vworking and messing around vwith vwavweforms. the usual stuff. this place is a lot like the dream bubbles, except the people are better.  CRONUS: but i havwe to say, you filled out really nicely. CRONUS: vwhat are you doing after this?  This is such a bad idea. But your foot is already rubbing against the inside of his calf and, if you’re already on the road to hell you might as well go out in style. When the waitress drops off your drinks your foot is already  to the inside of his thigh. You start off by sipping it nice and slow. This kind of stuff always made you sick but you figure Eridan is tough and, this stuff must be like water to him. Maybe you should drink faster to be impressive? Yeah. Fuck it, you gulp it down. All or nothing. 

     This is such a fucking disaster.

You remember why it’s so liberating to hang out with Cronus: He’s like you, but worse. You’re listening to him talk about vwavweforms in that stupid slant on your seadweller accent when you feel his fuckin’ foot just sliding up the inside of your leg, cool and casual as can be. You probably should just snap your legs together to get him to cut that shit out, but you don’t. Of course you don’t. You’re pathetic and you kind of love the way it feels to have the weight and warmth of his boot there, so close, inching higher, higher, higher --

But the thrill fades when he downs his martini in one gulp, and your eyes snap open wide.

     ❝cronus.❞ You reach across the table without wondering if he’s picked up on how angry, concerned, or upset you must be to use someone’s full given name. You snatch the glass out of his hand and peer into his eyes, your lips pressed together in a thin line. 

The result of leaning forward is that his foot is somewhere about an inch from your crotch, but you haven’t noticed. Yet.

     ❝wwhat am i doin after this.❞ You huff out an exasperated breath.  ❝judgin by the wway you just knocked that back im probably gonna be sittin by your sick bed.❞

[ aureliankingpin ]

vvioletkind

Giorno had sat himself down on a couch in the Living room of the apartment, the evening had just set in, and the sun had been starting to go down. He found this an awfully late time to be moving in but for all he knows it could just be better this way, the summer days had been almost too hot. It was suitable to do much more activities at night now adays. Not that Giorno would mind something as simple as the hours their partner decided to be active as he was about doing something with ACTUALLY SEEING the new person they would be living with. Hopefully they’ll be better company than the other one, whom to this day he has never met. Honestly he had wondered if they had ever really existed in the first place. His train of thought broke when he heard the sound of footsteps. Someone had been approaching. The Gang-STAR stood, smoothing out the folds in his jacket with his hands. At the very least, whomever this person was. Giorno would have the decency to give them a formal greeting.

As the door opened, Giorno  would be the first to speak

“Hello, and welcome. My name is Giorno. I’m guessing you must be my new roommate.”

You’re really not sure what to expect out of your roommate, and when you set eyes on him, already talking, your brows pinch together in a frown. He’s...human. And he looks...Well, he looks way different from a troll, that’s for certain. His hair is a shocking blond color and it’s styled in a manner you can only assume is atypical. Besides that, he’s wearing your color. Your immediate inclination is to both size him up as competition and treat him respectfully as an equal.

     ❝uh yeah hi wwhatevver. im eridan. im guessin your giorno or howwevver you say it. nice to meet you i guess.❞ You pause.  ❝they aint gonna make us share a room are they because that wwould be an indignity i ant ready to face.❞

Moving in, Moving out: (Closed RP- vvioletkind