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vs-space-orcs · 12 days
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Humanity has finally reached the stars and found out why no one had contacted us. The universe is in a sad state. As such, Doctors without Borders, Red Cross, and many othe charities go intergalactic.
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vs-space-orcs · 20 days
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By the way, the dragon is basically a toddler crossed with a cat and there is one episode written completely from his point of view, complete with toddler/cat logic. He plays pranks and is altogether too sassy for his own good
This isn't space orcs related but it IS writing related. I have an original work I post to AO3 called A Cottage Witch and her Dragon that is about Serenity, a 24 year old witch and her dragon familiar, Dragon (he chose the name). Serenity makes a meager living selling enchanted teas and magical knitted and crocheted items at the local market. Her neighbors are all retirees and widows who come together to make a community that takes care of each other. There is a delightful old lady who took one look at Serenity and decided "yep, I'm adopting you. Can't be helped."
It's a cozy story about found family and being content with a simple life that started out as a joke I made on tumblr: what if there was a witch who knitted and her dragon familiar rode around on her chest in the form of a shawl pin? But it quickly became a love letter to lonely people. Sometimes I write messages of love and inclusion that I wish I could tell people I love that have died. But I can't, so I put them out in the world for people who are still here who may need to hear them.
If that sounds up your alley, you can find it here. I talk about it sometimes on my main (@roboticchibitan )
Okay, back to humanity and their space orc status!
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vs-space-orcs · 21 days
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This isn't space orcs related but it IS writing related. I have an original work I post to AO3 called A Cottage Witch and her Dragon that is about Serenity, a 24 year old witch and her dragon familiar, Dragon (he chose the name). Serenity makes a meager living selling enchanted teas and magical knitted and crocheted items at the local market. Her neighbors are all retirees and widows who come together to make a community that takes care of each other. There is a delightful old lady who took one look at Serenity and decided "yep, I'm adopting you. Can't be helped."
It's a cozy story about found family and being content with a simple life that started out as a joke I made on tumblr: what if there was a witch who knitted and her dragon familiar rode around on her chest in the form of a shawl pin? But it quickly became a love letter to lonely people. Sometimes I write messages of love and inclusion that I wish I could tell people I love that have died. But I can't, so I put them out in the world for people who are still here who may need to hear them.
If that sounds up your alley, you can find it here. I talk about it sometimes on my main (@roboticchibitan )
Okay, back to humanity and their space orc status!
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vs-space-orcs · 28 days
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Humans are weird: They sing going to war
( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)
While serving alongside the human forces during the Torus Campaign I learned much of their strange culture.
Their need to stack foods in elaborate combinations which they call a “Sandwich”, their constant need to play “The Game” without ever explaining what it is unless to tell you that you have lost it, and even their obsession with petting anything within arm’s reach with an almost religious like dedication; but the strangest custom I only witnessed during the final stages of the war.
We had just deployed over the world of Obidon III and were launching a joint ground assault with the human forces. Enemy resistance was expected to be heavy and many would not survive the drop, but command believed that if enough forces reached the surface of the planet they could establish a beachhead and allow the rest of the contingent to be brought in.
During the decent to the planet all I could do was keep my eyes closed and hope beyond hope that we would survive. I was so lost in this trance like state that my friend Septem had to physically smack me on the helmet to get my attention and tell me to turn my radio channel to frequency 13.
I was confused at first since that frequency was being used for our human allies but he insisted that I would not believe what they were doing. So I reset my radio in my helmet to frequency and what I heard was something I had never expected on a battlefield.
They were singing.
The frequency was chalk full of voices in such volume that I had to turn down the volume but it seemed like every single human that was part of the attach was joining in the song. My translator unit was trying to keep up but the sheer intensity of the humans singing was causing it to drop in and out, picking up every other word.
I wanted to listen closer to them but the enemy flak began pounding the outside of our dropship. Each detonation sent the ship rattling side to side violently. I had just retightened my straps when a shell burst just beneath us sending a shockwave through the ship so strong it sent several of my comrades flying from their seats into the opposite wall. They hit the wall hard and did not get back up when their bodies collapsed to the ground.
All I could think about was how this was the moment I was going to die. This was the moment my existence in this universe comes to its conclusion and I return to the dust and atoms of the cosmos. And as I tuned myself to this reality all I could hear were the humans still singing over the radio.
They must have been going through the same amount of enemy fire as he was and yet still they somehow were still able to sing as if nothing was wrong with the world. I got so focused on their singing that I forgot about my worries for such a time that I was startled when the dropship landed with a loud thud against the planet’s surface and the boarding ramp lowered.
The following battle was a grueling six hour run and gun with the enemy as we tried to carve out a safe LZ for reinforcements. I got separated from my unit on more than one occasion and wandered into the human designated areas in the confusion.
To my utter surprise the humans were still singing.
Clad in their blue and gold armor, they broadcasted their voices from their helmet speakers as they advanced street by bloody street. One of them took shelter with me for a time as we prepared to rush a fortified courtyard which housed heavy anti air emplacement. I nodded a greeting to the human who replied in kind, yet their voice never ceased in song. I saw them rush around the corner and take several heavy rounds to their chest, but the shells ricocheted off the armor leaving only scratches on the paint.
I watched in disbelief as this wild singing human leaped over the barricade and slapped a detonation charge on the anti-air weapon before leaping back as it exploded the weapon. They stood in the smoldering flames to take a moment to catch their breath when a sniper’s round from down the street struck them in the head and blew out a large portion of their cranium. It was the first time during the entire battle I had seen a human die but I did not have long to contemplate it as the rest of the humans charged past, still singing, in the direction of the snipers shot.
Another hour of combat and the landing site was finally secured and reinforcements were brought in to take our positions. What was left of the initial landing force were sent back to orbit and recover and regroup from their losses. Out of my people’s forces I was one of twenty soldiers to have survived. I imagined the humans had lost equally as many until the pilot remarked that additional shuttles had been dispatched to carry their force back up. It seemed that despite the intensity of the fighting only three of their warriors had fallen in battle; one of them including the warrior I had watched fall.
I was beyond myself.
These reckless warriors had somehow survived one of the most intense battles the campaign had seen and only lost three of their number.
Once back on the ship the first chance I could I sought them out for an explanation. They were quartered in the lower reaches of the ship, isolated from the other contingents onboard.
Outside their area were two guards still in full armor that initially would not let me through until one of them recognized me from the fighting in the city. I was then led inside and found many of the humans feasting and laughing. Two long rows of had been setup facing each other; between them were several fires, each with a different animal being roasted over them. At the end of the rows stood three large pyres of wood which held three bodies atop each of them.
As I passed through the humans many ceased their laughter and looked at me, their eyes with suspicion. We made it half way through the throngs when a giant of a human stepped forward and blocked our path. They demanded to know why I had been let it in; going even further to say they will throw me out personally if the answer was not good. The guard who had recognized me said I had witnessed the last moments of one of the fallen and would speak of their deeds. There was a long pause as the large human glared at me, his eyes as cold as the crescent moon of my homeworld.
The human finally relented and let out a loud boastful laugh, clapping me on my shoulders and welcoming me to the feast. Those gathered around cheered and similarly welcomed me now as the ceremony proceeded once more. I could barely say anything as I was seemingly pulled into the celebration. I drank, I ate, I laughed, I even boasted of my own achievements during the battle.
At the height of the feast I was called forward to speak of the final moments of the human soldier I watched die. I learned their name had been Moris Yu, and had served in the human contingent since the beginning of the campaign. I spoke of his final moments, of how he charged the enemy alone and had single handedly destroyed their war machine. I spoke of the snipers bullet laying him low to which all the gathered humans spoke as one “To Odin’s fall he flies.”
With that pyres were set on fire and the bodies slowly turned to ash. I imagine it had some significant ritualistic meaning in human culture but it was beyond me.
After the funeral I asked one of the soldiers the question I had come to them with.
“Why do you sing in battle?”
The human took a long huff from a wooden pipe and blew a cloud of smoke before answering.
“Long ago, my people were raiders and conquerors of the sea.” They began, “Our gods watched over us and should be proved worthy we would be sent to them to join them in their halls and fight alongside them for eternity.”
“There was one warband led by a giant of a man called Osmond Frig. He loved song just as much as he loved fighting, so he made his warriors sing during every fight as it made him happy.”
“They agreed to such silliness?” I asked, to which the human grinned.
“They did after he felled the first three men who laughed at him with a single blow from his axe.” They finished before continuing with their story.
“What was truly surprising was not the sight of these warriors singing, but rather the fact that they were rather good at it. It was said they could make the Valkyries themselves shed a single tear with their songs.”
“Eventually one of the gods, Bragi, noticed Osmond’s warband and took a liking to them. Much like the Valkyries he too was moved by their song and decided to reward them with his patronage. He used ancient magic and made it so as long as the warriors sung they would be impervious to harm of all kinds.”
“So the warband grew in fame and glory as they went conquest to conquest, emerging from battles against impossible odds with nay a scratch on them. First across the northern seas, then across the continent of Europe, and then soon the entire world knew of Osmond; which is when they finally drew the attention of the king of the gods, Odin.”
“Odin watched these powerful warriors and wanted them in his hall for the eternal battle, yet despite every challenge they faced they emerged victorious. No matter what enemy Odin placed in their path or scheme he unleashed on them they refused to fall. Odin knew of Bragi’s patronage and tortured to god to reveal his secret and after seven days and seven nights Bragi told Odin of the spell he had cast and how it could not be undone.”
“But that was all Odin needed to secure his warriors.” The human said with a devil’s grin.
“During the midst of the most recent battle Odin took the form of a mighty warrior and stalked the fields for his prey. He waited for each warrior to catch their breath and cease their song before striking and slaying them, one by one. By day’s end only Osmond remained to fight Odin and though he sang long into the night he too eventually gasped for air and was slain.”
“So that is why you sing?” I asked the human. ‘Because you believe your gods will protect you?”
The human chuckled and nodded to the three pyres. “Did you not say that Moris was only slain after he ceased singing?”
I wanted to counter him with some logic, some reason grounded in reality, but I could not. I left that human area with a profound new perspective of myself in the grand scheme of the universe.
The next time I was in a combat drop my comrades laughed when I began singing. I wasn’t sure if it was good or not, but I hoped that in some way the human god would at least find me amusing and let me live another day.
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vs-space-orcs · 2 months
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Alien crewmate: what is this ritual you do every evening and morning after you eat?
Human crewmate: I'm brushing my teeth!
Alien: brushing your mouth bones? Do they have hair???
Human: no, you remember how humans have bacteria in their mouths?
Alien, shuddering: yes, I remember.
Human: well if we don't clean our mouth bones the bacteria slowly destroys them!
Alien: your biology is truly unhinged.
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vs-space-orcs · 2 months
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Alien crewmate: what is this ritual you do every evening and morning after you eat?
Human crewmate: I'm brushing my teeth!
Alien: brushing your mouth bones? Do they have hair???
Human: no, you remember how humans have bacteria in their mouths?
Alien, shuddering: yes, I remember.
Human: well if we don't clean our mouth bones the bacteria slowly destroys them!
Alien: your biology is truly unhinged.
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vs-space-orcs · 3 months
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Human crewmate: smells like rain
Alien crewmate: you can SMELL that???
Human:. ... yes? Some humans can feel it in their bones, especially where bones have been broken and healed or have decayed. Most of us get it with age.
Alien crewmate, aside to another alien crewmate: what the fuck
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vs-space-orcs · 3 months
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Every alien species has a different opinion of Earth and therefore humans.
Some say it’s a crazy planet, a boring planet. A planet of gross creatures. Humans bathe too much, too little. They all look the same, they all look so different. Earth is beautiful, earth is horrifying. But they can all agree on one thing. It’s definitely weird.
But then one or two of them come to live on Earth. They learn an earth spoken language if their throats can handle it, a sign language if they can’t. And they go to school, get a job, get a roommate. And the longer they stay they notice something.
Earth is mostly unremarkable. Like any other planet there’s a spacefaring species, beautiful and ugly nature, different cultures. The humans aren’t that genetically different from each other but they’re not exactly the same either.
So really, why does this place have such a reputation.
So someday they go to their friend, boss, teacher, whatever human they trust, and they tell them. You know, I don’t know why everyone thinks you guys are so weird.
And the human laughs. In a good-natured way, they think. It’s sometimes hard to understand the body language of other species.
Then the human sighs. “We always assumed we would be the weird ones in the galaxy, and then we weren’t. But if there’s one thing that humans probably have more than anyone else I’ve ever heard of, it’s commitment to the bit.”
“To the bit?”
The human might shake their head here or elbow the alien in the ribs if they have any. Or maybe just smile.
“There’s not a lot of things that humans are united on, but we do all think it’s very funny to exaggerate just enough that the alien rumor mill will do the rest of the work for us.”
“So you all just wanted to be weird so badly that you started lying?”
“Not lying. Just dropping the right facts on the right people. If you find out that a species generally bathes three times a day, casually mentioning that some humans only shower a couple times a week will eventually lead that entire species to think that humans just don’t bathe. If you tell someone from an ice planet about the Sahara desert they flip out and in a year or two everyone on that planet thinks that humans make their homes in the center of volcanoes.”
Here the alien smiles or shows some other subtle sign that they’re amused. Yeah, now that they think about it, none of the rumors they heard before they came here had turned out to be true.
And that does sound like humans, doesn’t it? Committing as a species to spread rumors about themselves because they find it to be hilarious.
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vs-space-orcs · 5 months
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Robot characters who are given names like SL-308-62 but instead of their human friend going Well let's call you Sally for short, they instead ask the other if they Like their current name.
"Do you like your serial number?" they ask. "Yes, quite. It reminds me of who I am" the robot replies. "I have heard others like me go by different names after some time, and maybe one day I'll choose one for myself, too. But right now that is my full name, yes" they continue.
Because it's not your decision to make whether or not the robot will receive a new name. It should be theirs only. What's the difference? One is more complex and the other is simplified. They were both given by strangers instead of themselves.
"62 will do," they conclude. "It's my model number - there will be no other 62 after me."
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vs-space-orcs · 6 months
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Theseus Syndrome
100% synchronicity is, as far as science is concerned, impossible. A human mind cannot fully interface with an exosuit, at least not in the way that autonomous drones or combat dolls can. Even combat dolls take mental strain due to their semi-organic nature, hovering at an synchronicity of around 97-98%. But a human mind already has the tax of inhabiting their own body at all times, as well as the extra mental strain of piloting an entire exosuit on top of that, augmented by the billions of microscopic nanofilaments that bind the pilot’s jack socket to the suit.
But there are stories. Whispers on the wind that haunt the fronts of those who have gone full-sync. It’s become a term for insane or reckless, “full-sync”. That kind of intense information overload can short circuit machines designed for war, what in the hell could it do to a human being?
If the stories are to believed, it starts in the connection. A human exosuit pilot’s jack socket is designed with two primary goals in mind: to facilitate the link between the mind and the machine, and to automatically inject necessary medications to keep the body – and specifically the brain – going for as long as possible for the exosuit to do its job. This is a very efficient means of keeping the soldier going, as long as you’re in your suit, protected by fourteen inches of solid steel, you’ll be protected and healed, over and over.
But the kind of strain a link can put on a brain is not strictly internal. It isn’t a simple overload of the synapses, like some sort of barbaric AR virus designed to incapacitate. The jack socket connects your mind literally to the exosuit. Physically. The link is direct, and the electronic impulses from one to the other are a physical relay from one to the next. And when those impulses push back, damage can be sustained. Physical, tangible damage to the human brain.
Historically, the first exosuit pilot was a man named Charles Phillip Desere. Pictures of the aftermath are often passed around anti-Imperium circles as propaganda, and amongst those seeking the become exosuit pilots so that they understand what kind of life they’re choosing to lead. It’s too gruesome to describe in detail.
 Modern links prevent that level of carnage, but the damage can still be critical to a human body. Limiters are in place to keep that damage from becoming lethal, but what if it isn’t sustained? What if you only peak out at 100% synchronicity sometimes, teasing that level of connection and pulling back in an attempt to undo the damage? Edging your mind to the point of complete collapse before breaching the surface for air?
As far as science is concerned, the practice is, in fact, lethal. You do die during the process. The thing that comes out the other side, however, has been described in pilot ghost stories as “Theseus Syndrome”. The thing on the other side looks like you. It acts like you, sometimes, too. Occasionally over comms, pilots have reported hearing the voices of long deceased pilots, calling their lovers names in anguish or singing their favorite songs.
The jack socket, you see, repairs the damage. No matter the depth. So long as the brain is intact – even some of it – it will repair. A busy little computer, with no real discretion of where you end and where the repairs begin, a process of chemicals and drugs… and nanobots. Nanobots within the filament are occasionally required for the extensive damage, and once more than 50% of your body is made up that synthetic, nanobot flesh… well, that’s You now, isn’t it? The jack socket sees the organic parts of you and sees only a pulsing wound made of aberrant flesh. A tumor to be removed, replaced with perfect machines.
Cell by cell, it breaks you down, rebuilding you in the shape of a perfect pilot. The same as you were, rebuilt. Some say you wouldn’t even notice until your brain begins to go, and your thoughts are strange and different, escaping you like sand between your fingers, the only things remaining being orders from command. To fight. To kill. You watch your own brain being rebuilt and can’t do anything about it. Your last thoughts are of how your thoughts will soon be gone.
And then, the thing on the other side takes over.
Only one person has ever allegedly been recovered after undergoing Theseus Syndrome, and even then documents are classified, redacted to hell, and repeated by the same people who have incredibly unbelievable conspiracy theories, the “Puppet Empress” crowd. She was barely recovered at all, the nanobots within the filament having long since run out, the self-proliferating machines having lost the ability to create more. When her exosuit was taken down, and the cockpit pried open, she was more machine than woman. A smoking carcass with an exposed skull, oil dripping from open wounds and organs made from half-ossified parts salvaged from others.
And she was still fighting. Lashing out with teeth and claws and screaming and snarling and gnashing. Some say she begged them to kill her, others say that she spoke of the incredible pain she was under, some that she whispered that she was afraid.
 Some, however, go a step further. Her body was recovered but she wasn’t burned. A single nanobot from an Imperial recovery agent managed to reach her body, restarting the process and rebuilding her body. They say that she reconstituted before their eyes, killing them all in a bloody haze, and got back into her exosuit to stalk back out onto the battlefield.
They say she’s still down there, on Vespera-4. The ghost in the machine. They say that on quiet nights, if a pilot tunes into the right comm channel and points it in the right direction, they can hear her humming softly to herself, whispering about how beautiful she is and how wonderful it was to be reborn.
They also say if you stay tuned in for long enough, she can hear you too.
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vs-space-orcs · 6 months
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Alien crewmate: Welcome back, Human James. You were gone suddenly for two weeks! What kept you on-planet for that long?
Human James: Oh I had my appendix taken out.
Alien crewmate: What is an 'appendix?'
Human James: It's an internal organ humans have that sometimes gets infected and needs to be removed.
Alien crewmate: You can just REMOVE an entire ORGAN from your body?! And be fine two weeks later?!
Human James: yeah we don't actually need our appendix and no one really knows what it's for. Most people think it's a useless organ leftover from our evolutionary ancestors that were herbivores. Though there's research to suggest it might have some use. About 20% of humans get appendicitis and need it removed sometime in their lifetime.
Alien crewmate: two weeks?? Two weeks?! To recover from having an entire internal organ removed?! Humans are so scary.
Human James: well it's a pretty small internal organ and I'm not 100% recovered until another month.
Alien crewmate: I am never fucking around with you ever again Mr Apex Predator that can fully recover from having an internal organ removed in less than two months. Human biology is insane.
Human James, shrugging: If you say so.
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vs-space-orcs · 6 months
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what do you want!!!!!!!!
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vs-space-orcs · 9 months
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You’ve just realized something strange about the humans. They’re a race that joined the galaxy recently, but you’ve just found evidence of them already been part of it for many millennia before, but it feels like everybody’s forgotten.
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vs-space-orcs · 9 months
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Someone not responding to you right away does not mean that you’re not important to them. I know it can be hard, but other people are allowed to be busy, or even just not have the energy to respond to you. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.
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vs-space-orcs · 9 months
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Imagine explaining braces to an alien.
Alien: this "lemonade" smells like it'll melt my skin. Will this melt my skin?
Human: probably not. Though it did dissolve the glue on one of my braces when I was a kid.
Alien: for me to understand how fully horrified I should be right now I need to know what "braces" are.
Human: oh, people that have the money for it get a bunch of metal put in their mouth to move their teeth into a perfect row. It's a very painful process that usually takes years.
Alien: metal??? On your face bones??? And it hurts?? Doesn't this impede your ability to eat??
Human: well yeah there are things you can't eat when you have them. And some foods you just stop eating because it gets stuck in your braces and it's really gross to get it all out. I still don't eat much bread. Certain foods can break the braces, so you weren't supposed to eat those
Alien: EATING could break the painful metal in your mouth???? WHAT KIND OF FOOD DO YOU PEOPLE EAT???
Human: well lemonade just dissolves the glue
Alien: WHAT?!!! And you want me to DRINK this?? No!! Now I know what people mean when they say you can never understand deathworlders. You people are nuts! I am never eating your substance dissolving, metal breaking food. Fuck that.
Human: alright, I'll drink yours *chugs the lemonade, much to the alien's fascinated horror*
Alien, whispering to themself: deathworlders are insane
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vs-space-orcs · 9 months
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Alien crewmate: human, what are you doing?
Human, chewing on their hand: my palm itches.
Alien crewmate: what?! You sure you haven't got space madness? You're putting your dexterous appendage in that venomous mouth of yours...
Human: it's fine as long as I don't break skin.
Alien, flabbergasted: but why teeth? You have another hand, don't you?
Human: human palms have very thick skin so it's difficult to scratch itches there. I'm chewing on it because my teeth can more easily apply enough pressure to get the itch.
Alien, unconvinced: alright but where's the human enrichment kit? I think we should get you tinkering.
Human: oh good idea! The wire brush can scratch my palm too!
Alien: then why didn't you try that first?
Human, shrugging: teeth were closer
Alien: remind me to always keep the human enrichment kit handy...
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vs-space-orcs · 10 months
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“Commander, do you read?”
“Uh… yes, captain. I read you.”
“Did you identify the object blocking the wormhole?”
“Yes, sir. It’s um…”
“Well? What is it?”
“It’s a cargo ship.”
“A star-freighter? What is it doing here?”
“Not a star-freighter, sir. A cargo ship. Like the kind that used to go on the water.”
“What?”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“I see… well, does it have any identifying markers?”
“There’s a company logo.”
“What does it say?”
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