“You’ve cried so much you feel like there’s no one left to cry to. You don’t want to burden anyone with the same chaos you keep drowning in. You feel hopeless and alone.”

— Journal

I’m sorry.

“I give because I know how it feels to want”

lowkey wanna overdose and die but here i am babysitting kids

depression seems like too weak a word to describe it

one of the worst parts about being suicidal is that it's such a great accomplishment to not kill yourself when you're in a terrible place but nothing changes around you. you don't get any congratulation for that. even though last night you were sobbing so hard you thought your eyes would pop out, you still have to go to school the next day. you don't get a break after that unless you end up in the hospital.

it's an odd feeling, not knowing if you're going to be alive by next week. "i should wear this new shirt i bought before i die". "i should finish this painting before im dead". i don't care about anything anymore. i didn't do any of my homework and i fell asleep in a pile of dirty tissues. i spilled a cup of paint water all over my floor and felt no panic or any kind of upset feeling.

Google search: how to feel grateful that you didn’t die that last time you tried to kill yourself. How to feel like you didn’t belong in the ground; how to feel like you deserved to survive when so many other people are living lives so much worse than anything your eyes have ever seen. How to stop feeling like a fucking loose canon in the body of a human girl; ready to blow        ready to blow        at any second      any         second now. Google search: how many pills can I take to come close enough to death that people will finally start paying attention? How many pills to kill the            demons without killing        myself        too? How many pills to lay comatose in a hospital without losing your           life           completely? How many pills should I take to have people care more than just a week after           ingesting          poison that I am still alive? Google search: how to get attention without destroying your own body. I don’t know how to ask for help without            slicing          my           stomach in half and handing my intestines to the people I want to pay attention to            my         heartache. I don’t know how to verbalize my        sickening          sorrow           when I don’t know if anyone will respond with love and reason and                   empathy. How do I get people to show me that they love me without needing to douse myself in               gasoline       and       light a match;        how do I get them to care       for my well-being before I am on                       fire? Google search: how to be grateful for surviving a suicide attempt. * Overall, a recent review of 177 research studies around the world found that 4% of people who survived intentionally hurting or poisoning themselves went on to die by suicide within 10 years. Google search: how do I become part of the 96% who survived this? Google search: how do I stop wanting to die and become grateful for being alive?

GOOGLE SEARCH: SUICIDE (han hyland)

i think i'm going to kill myself this weekend.

im such a curse on anyone that's ever known me im so sorry

my best friend sent me this today out of nowhere and she usually doesn't do stuff like that she's not v affectionate and i almost started crying i love her so much

I wanted to kill myself and you were yelling about dirty dishes

12 word story, d.m (via i-need-a-cure) (via pvnkslut)

wow… this just hit me on a very personal level.

(via kiefeon)

What do you do when you’re on the brink of killing yourself every night