i hope that this rush travels from me to you and back again. maybe i’m reckless and desperate and unbalanced and all things encompassing, but i’m exhilarated and happy and scared and everything in between, and we’re standing on the same ledge.  it’s okay to jump, it’s only a rooftop and the water is deep enough for both of us.

  -i can feel the rush, please tell me you feel it too.

He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

i hate pessimistic takes on human nature so much

I was researching Pygmalion for an audition and these are apparently common terms and phrases choose your favorite combo

mine is dear devil don’t DOOLITTLE

For the lonely don’t go anywhere at all, really. They travel to travel, wandering aimlessly, endlessly searching. The lonely take the road with no known destination- what good is there in knowing where you’re going? How depressing it is, to see an end instead of a new beginning!

-where do the lonely go?

if you have no hope for humanity that sucks for you i guess. but i was buying melatonin at the corner store and the stranger behind me in line said everyone they knew had been having trouble sleeping recently and maybe it was the cold weather. and the cashier swore he was a chronic insomniac before he met his wife but he hadn’t tossed and turned in 10 years. and when i left we told each other to sleep well tonight. and that’s enough hope to sustain me for at least a few months.

November is quickly approaching- and what an uncomfortable change.

my ancient greek history professor is making us post memes weekly. i swear to god

stranger endanger

somebody could be breaking into my house. i wouldn’t know, all i can hear is classical music

it is 12:35pm. nobody is home. i fill the entire house with classical music.

it is 12:35pm. nobody is home. i fill the entire house with classical music.

i have come to a point where it isn’t that i hate being alone, but i miss the human connection. i find myself in these moods: remembering the feeling of falling in love, the way i had someone to look forward to. the only word that comes close to describing what i feel is ‘nostalgia’, but even nostalgia doesn’t encompass the weight of all our memories. i learned a long time ago it was useless to attempt to label everything. still, i forget. i remember our walks around my neighborhood, to avoid being inside my house. you did still care. right?

i don’t know what heartbreak is. but i can’t find the right words to express love, now, and i couldn’t even when i was with you.

i have come to a point where it isn’t that i hate being alone, but i miss the human connection. i find myself in these moods: remembering the feeling of falling in love, the way i had someone to look forward to. the only word that comes close to describing what i feel is ‘nostalgia’, but even nostalgia doesn’t encompass the weight of all our memories. i learned a long time ago it was useless to attempt to label everything. still, i forget. i remember our walks around my neighborhood, to avoid being inside my house. you did still care. right?

the moon is hanging in the sky this morning, left over from the night before. just like that day together, at the park.

i have come to a point where it isn’t that i hate being alone, but i miss the human connection. i find myself in these moods: remembering the feeling of falling in love, the way i had someone to look forward to. the only word that comes close to describing what i feel is ‘nostalgia’, but even nostalgia doesn’t encompass the weight of all our memories. i learned a long time ago it was useless to attempt to label everything. still, i forget. i remember our walks around my neighborhood, to avoid being inside my house. you did still care. right?

i have come to a point where it isn’t that i hate being alone, but i miss the human connection. i find myself in these moods: remembering the feeling of falling in love, the way i had someone to look forward to. the only word that comes close to describing what i feel is ‘nostalgia’, but even nostalgia doesn’t encompass the weight of all our memories. i learned a long time ago it was useless to attempt to label everything. still, i forget. i remember our walks around my neighborhood, to avoid being inside my house. you did still care. right?

hi i’m currently reading this from my own window seat, it begun pouring buckets just a couple minutes ago. i am content, but alas, i have no tea.

i wish i had a window seat with lots of pillows that i could sit in and drink tea and read books in and watch the rain in

Thinking about the latin phrase “sedit qui timuit ne non succederet” (“he who feared he would not succeed sat still”) and how my perfectionism and fear of failure makes me procrastinate and do nothing of my day.