7/19

The final day. I mean, yes, technically tomorrow is the final day because we have our closing ceremony, but today was truly the final day of client meetings, working as a team, and being consultants.

I woke up with another headache, which was just annoying, but we just finalized some stuff and resent everything to Mzee in one email to ensure he had everything and couldn’t make any excuses.

Our exit meeting with Mzee went incredibly well. We walked through all we had done, and after we finished, he gave us a speech about how thankful he was. He said we really pushed him outside his comfort zone with all our deliverables, which other EESA teams in the past didn’t really do. He told us that he wanted to prove to himself, to his family, and to all of us that he could accomplish great things, and that he was going to push himself to become a better manager. He said our team revived him because he had really been struggling with feeling stagnant and tired. It was really beautiful. Sometimes you question the impact you’re having and wonder if it’s all for nothing, if they are just going to go back to their old ways once you leave, but I truly believe he’s going to do all he can to implement these new processes and become an even better business. For him and Lulu, I just can’t wait to watch their growth.

I spent the rest of the night alone- relaxing, doing chores, and reflecting. I’ve been with people practically 24/7 the past 6 weeks, and this next week traveling will be even worse. At least Kiley would be on client meetings and I would have the room to myself, but when we’re traveling, I know we’re just going to constantly be sharing rooms and never actually alone. So I wanted to make sure to get some alone time in before all that starts. I mostly rotated between sleeping, packing, cleaning, listening to music, watching tv, and reflecting.

It’s unbelievable how far we’ve come in 6 weeks. When I started this program, I was petrified. And there were many times throughout that I thought I wasn’t going to make it (seriously…I’m not sure if I thought I was just going to fall over dead or voluntarily leave the program, but there was just days I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel at all). Our team went from awkward, unwilling to challenge or push our entrepreneurs, and hesitant to bring conflict into our team. We didn’t know if we would like each other (or in the case of me and Athi, actually thought we would just end up hating each other). And here we are today. Beyond comfortable with each other and definitely one of the few teams that adores each other so much. Willing to call out the entrepreneurs for not following through on their promises, willing to call each other out when we need to, and just overall, so much more confident in ourselves and our team.

I actually think I might cry writing this, but I love these people. I adore so many people in this program and especially my team. Some of the UWC, Colorado, Texas, and Oklahoma kids have become some of my best friends, and it’s impossible to imagine life without them. I can’t believe in that after tomorrow I won’t see them everyday…we won’t be up til 4am in the green room…we won’t walk to class together…we won’t debrief our client meetings in the vans…we won’t get to laugh, cry, complain, and celebrate together. These people have become my family.

While I will continue to struggle with my feelings towards this program (sorry Dr. Morris, I’m still pretty anti-capitalist), I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity. I will never forget the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had, and I can honestly say I’ve grown a lot. I’m so much more confident and willing to call people out. I’m so much more patient, and my ability to empathize has grown immensely. I’ve been able to truly be myself and develop some beautiful friendships. I’ve been completely shoved out of my comfort zone and had to push myself to the limit. I’ve had to learn not only how to analyze the finances of a business, but then create a bookkeeping system, explain it to the entrepreneur, and teach them about financials. I’ve had to create a full marketing strategy for a company, a sales promotions program, and a prospecting program…all from scratch and with no background in any of this. I remember creating our deliverables a few weeks ago and truly feeling like there was no way I could possibly do this. But this program has shown me that we can do so much more than we think we can.

I’ll try to keep updating this diary throughout my travels for the next week, so stay tuned for a lot more fun and a lot less work.

7/18

Woke up with a killer headache today, but we still had a really good day. I knew my headache was just going to get worse throughout the day, so I wanted to be as productive as possible in the morning. Our team finished all the edits to the final report for Mzee except for two little things we were waiting on. Once we finished that, I laid down to try to kick the headache while the rest of the team went to Mzee’s for one final check-in meeting.

They were really disappointed because he told us that Monday he was kicking into high gear. He was going to enforce all the new HR procedures like the dress code and timesheet, but he hadn’t started, and he just blamed his employees. I guess they just had a serious talk with him about how important it was to start implementing and to hold the employees accountable and start acting like a manager. Once they got back, they added the last two little items, and I did a final run through for grammar and format. We got it printed, and turned in, and I have literally never felt so much relief. It feels like we are actually really done. We still have our exit meeting with Mzee tomorrow, and we’re going to run through all the deliverables again and test stuff out again to make sure he actually implements everything, but besides that, all our actual work is done.

I think it’s safe to say that Buntu contributed nothing. I know he has a lot going on with his family, but he’s been really MIA and just not communicating. I’ve been limited in what I can contribute because of my migraines and what not, but I always communicate and pick up work when I can, but it feels like he just has given up completely on the program. Whatever.

After we got the final report turned in, we had our practice with Ted, but it wasn’t productive at all. I mean, I guess it was good to run through it, but we just basically had no time. We were suppose to start at 5:30, but when I texted him at 4:30 just to confirm, he told me he actually had plans are 5:30 now…so we had Buntu rush over so we could get it done. Ted then told us we would only have 25 minutes, so we had to really rush through everything.

After that, we just chilled a little, and then me, Ryan, Darian, and Athi all went out for a team dinner. Buntu just left to go home. But it was really great. We went to this Mexican restaurant and had this super nice waitress who made fun of us US kids for our accents a lot. It was just nice to get away and spend some fun time together as a team. It feels like so many of the other teams are so beyond frustrated with each other and just have started crumbling, so I’m just beyond grateful for these people. Once we got home, we figured out our Airbnb situation for the weekend, and I’m just so excited. It feels amazing to be done.

7/17

I got to sleep in a little because I desperately needed it. I had some friend drama with people from back home last night, so I was up later than I wanted to be.

We had our exit meeting with Lulu today, and I could literally cry. It is amazing how far we have come with her. From the first two weeks where she literally hated us and thought we were just wasting her time to her thanking us profusely, it’s just been a complete 180. She literally gushed about how thankful she was, and we all agreed to keep in touch. I really can’t wait to see all the growth she accomplishes in the next year.

Our exit meeting got our whole team reflecting on the past six weeks. We reminisced about how me and Athi really didn’t like each other those first few days. I remember thinking she was so controlling and just wanted everything done her way, and now we’re like the best of friends, and I truly think she’s one of the great human beings on the planet. I’m trying not to cry haha, but seriously. It’s amazing looking back and seeing how things can change so quickly.

I spent the rest of the night editing other peoples’ final report sections, doing some chores, and just relaxing. Mzee’s final report is due tomorrow, but we’re on such a better track, so I’m not worried at all.

7/16

What a fucking nightmare.

I was exhausted all day and just had the most horrible day because last night turned into a shit show. I was just laying in bed and relaxing when everyone who went out got back. Kiley told me she couldn’t find Max, and basically it came out that Max had stormed off at one of the bars, and they never found him. I went out to talk to Bella and Ryan, and we decided that we really needed to talk to the coordinators. Kiley made us wait until 2:30 because that’s when the bars would close and he might come back home, but he never showed. Me and Ryan went and talked to Darin, and then Ryan and Kiley went out with Darin to look for Max while I stayed back to be lookout in case he did somehow get back to UWC.

We were up all night. It wasn’t until 5am that they finally found him at a jail. We’re still figuring out all the logistics, and he finally back here, but damn what a fucking night.

After being up all night, we had class. It was a great guest speaker named Ravi Naidoo, but it was hard to be fully present because I was so exhausted. After class, I had to talk with Lulu’s web developer to continue fixing up her website. Ryan went alone to the client meeting with Mzee so that I could stay back and grammar edit Lulu’s final report, but Mzee was like 45 minutes late, so they basically got nothing done.

After a fuck ton of stress, being pissed at Buntu because he literally did nothing, and only getting to half review it, we got the final report for Lulu submitted. It just feels so good to be done with it.

I finished up work on a few deliverables, and then I just took the rest of the night off to relax and catch up with friends.

7/15

Today has been really rough. I woke up with a pounding migraine and just couldn’t go anything for most of the morning. Once my medicine kicked in, I felt a little better, but I was just really groggy, so it was impossible to grammar edit our docs or do anything that required focus. And anytime that I feel down physically, I start feeling down mentally…especially here. Everyone is so productive, and it’s easy to feel like you’re not contributing and everyone is pissed off at you.

We were suppose to go to Nkomshish Laundry Services today and paint signs the whole day and fix up his signage, but Mzee just wouldn’t respond to us. Darian really wanted to just go anyways and show up, but the rest of the team just worried that Mzee wouldn’t be there, wouldn’t have the material, and that overall it would just be a waste of time. Darian argued that we could at least clean while we are there, but it just felt like such a waste of time to be doing the employee’s job instead of working on actual deliverables we have to do. So our group text was just horrible all morning.

Then, I went outside, and Athi and Darian were leaving to go to Mzee’s. I was just so pissed they didn’t tell anyone and just left. It ended up being fine because they did find some signs and put them up, and I got a shit ton of the final reports, so it all worked out, but I was just so beyond frustrated with them. I just thought it was so immature to just decide on their own to go and not let anyone else know.

When they got back, we talked, and everything was mostly fine. A few of us went out to dinner, which was nice. We went to that Indian place that I’m obsessed it, and it was just so fucking good.

When we got back, I started panicking. Basically, our final report for Lulu is due tomorrow, and Ted, our faculty, was suppose to review our draft for edits, but he just never did. I had fixed up my part a while ago, so I’ve just been waiting on everyone else to get their shit done, and basically, no one is doing anything. They just won’t edit their parts because they think we have time tomorrow, but we have so much to do, I have to grammar check everything, and we have class and a client meeting. I spent most of the night panicking…screaming and crying on the phone to Aileen. But then I just took a step back. The actual deliverable work is done, and do we want a great final report? Yes, but it’s not the most important thing. Stressing over everyone else isn’t getting anything done. So I’m just taking a step back and doing some self-care tonight.

7/14

I feel like I did barely anything productive today. We had class, which was a mess. Practically everyone was hungover because a lot of people went out, and when we did role plays for our final presentations, one group was a nightmare. They literally acted like they had no idea what their deliverables had even been, and they were just being so rude to our professor. Ted is definitely not the greatest lecturer, but like just have some decency.

After class, I just felt like shit for some reason, so I laid down most of the day. I finally got up and finished up this assignment we had due, and then a big group of us did a family taco night. It was so fucking fun. I usually hate cooking with people, but it was nice just being around each other, and I definitely did more laughing and dancing than actual cooking. And the food was amazing.

After dinner, I did a little work, got organized, and then I’ve just been relaxing and enjoying being alone for once.

7/13

FREEDOM (for the night haha). After a long day, we finally got our final report draft for Lulwazi Talent Specialists all turned in, so we took the night off. The beginning of the day was not so chill.

I had a client meeting with Lulu in the morning where I just reviewed the social media plan and process to the staff, went over website changes with Lulu, and finished up some pieces to our prospecting program. Once we got back to campus, I had just enough time to eat and then hop on the transport to Mzee for another client meeting. We debriefed the employee training program, checked in on the bookkeeping system (and found some issues that we have to work out), and then went over ideas and the program he can do to increase sales during his low season.

As soon as me and Ryan got back from Mzee’s meeting, we checked in on the team to see if they finished the draft. They had not. Basically, Buntu did his part completely wrong, and Darian had spent most of the day fixing it. While Darian finished that, I helped edit and grammar check the rest of the document and fix up all the formatting. It was such a time crunch, and we literally turned it in at exactly 5pm, the minute it was due.

After that, we had a vent session about Buntu, and then a big group of us from the program went out to Col’cacchio, the amazing pizza place we went the first night in South Africa. It was so nice just to see other people from other teams (seriously…the past week it has literally just been spent alone working or with my team working). The food was absolutely amazing, and again, it was just nice to get away and laugh.

When we got back, me, Greg, and JD just spent the next few hours cuddling and watching Rick and Morty, and it was exactly what I needed. I’m going to bed still later than I wanted to because I spent some time catching up with friends from home, but I get to sleep in which is great.

7/12

Today was amazing. Long and exhausting because we have one of our final report drafts due tomorrow, but overall, amazing. We met with Lulu and her staff today to go over marketing and the social media plan I created, and they loved it. I taught them Canva and Hootsuite, and they were just so happy and in shock over how easy and fun the social media could be. We also talked to Lulu about the prospecting programs we created, and she was so happy. She literally told us we weren’t allowed to leave.

Flashback to a couple weeks ago when I literally thought she was going to quit the program and hated us. We have done a complete 180, and it feels so good that she finally is working with us and helping us create some amazing programs for her.

I’m up late again working on deliverables for Mzee and trying to get this writeup for our final report done, so tomorrow is going to be another long day.

7/11

Today has really been a rollercoaster, and I’ve just been doing a lot of reflecting. I was thinking back to our first meeting with Mzee, which was exactly 4 weeks ago today. It’s amazing how far we’ve come. Four weeks ago, we walked in absolutely panicked and so stiff and awkward. Today, we led an employee training session, and it was like we were part of the family. Victoria was so willing to ask questions and tell us when things wouldn’t work. Mzee thanked us for all our hard work and told us how much we appreciated us. It’s just funny looking back at how uncomfortable I was just a few weeks ago.

After our super early employee training, we went to class, and then spent the rest of the day working on deliverables. Twenty One Pilots came out with 2 new songs, which really made my day. And then we had a team meeting tonight. We each went through where we were at with our deliverables and write-ups, and it became really evident that Buntu had done close to nothing for the past few days. It was just a nightmare. We were basically up all night trying to finish up work and help Buntu get caught up, so I know tomorrow will be miserable.

7/10

I remember reading some of the journals from past EESA consultants and seeing some entries that were literally just

“Deliverables, deliverables, deliverables.”

and thinking to myself, “Dang. Seriously? They couldn’t write anything more than that? Lazy people.”

I was so wrong. Today was literally just that. Deliverables.

Woke up. Worked on deliverables in the work room. Met with Erick about deliverables. Went to Lulu’s to implement deliverables. Got home. Worked on deliverables. I’m in full panic mode trying to get all of this done.

7/9

I’ve been thinking a lot about what this program has given me today. Darian keeps mentioning how much this program teaches you about yourself, and recently, just with all the deliverables due, I haven’t been reflecting as deeply. But seriously. It’s taught me so much about myself, reaffirmed so much, and really forced me to become a much more authentic version of myself, which is something I’m always striving towards.

I aim for authenticity always, but my anxiety really holds me back. It’s easy to just not speak out or close myself off because I want to be liked by others. I love people so much, and the thought of them not loving me back is difficult to cope with, so I often try to tone down who I am. But here, it’s impossible to do that. Your exhausted and just constantly around people, so I just think it’s impossible to keep pretending. Your true self starts showing, and it would just be so much mental labor to hide it. So at some point, you just say fuck it. And that’s been such an empowering thing for me. I’ve been able to just be who I am (in most ways at least), and I’ve found such amazing friends who love me for me. And you just learn so much about yourself in other ways too - how you are under stress, how you are when people you respect are yelling at you, how you act when put on the spot, how you are around people who are totally different from you, how to work with people who constantly piss you off. Some of it I knew before and this just reaffirmed it (my natural tendency to find balance; when someone is freaking out, I become immediately calm and try to level out the situation), and some I had no idea (I’ve always been terrified of authority figures yelling at me, but I’ve learned that I can see through the screaming to the constructive parts of what they are saying).

Besides getting to do some reflecting, I also just had an amazing day in general. I worked on deliverables most of the day, and then our team went tobogganing as past of our Best SEE Model award. AND OH MY GOD IT WAS SO FUN. It was absolutely terrifying sometimes (especially when me and Darian went down together in the same one), but it was just so fun, and we were constantly cracking up. Afterwards, Darin took us out for another dinner because we had some money left in the budget. It was just so nice hanging out and getting a break from deliverables (even through I spent a lot of the day out panicking about all our lost time). Once we got back, it was just deliverables, deliverables, deliverables. Tomorrow I’m working with Lulu on her social media plan, so gotta go finish that.

7/8

Last night was so much fun. We had an amazing dinner with the faculty and coordinators at Cassia, a restaurant at Natida Wine Farm. It was unbelievable. The view was just so gorgeous, and the food was out of this world. We also got to try lots of appetizers, wine, drinks, and dessert, and we just had a really good time talking to everyone about today’s guest speaker and ideas for the closing function. It just reminded me how quickly time has flown by and how absolutely lucky I am to have been able to come. The people I’ve met are some of the most amazing human beings, and it’s so weird thinking about how we won’t see each other every day once this is all over.

After dinner, a few of us went out to this cool place called The Gin Bar, and then we went to Beer House. I met this really cool guy, and honestly, I feel like every person I meet challenges me so much. Obviously, our team is really close, and we’re really good friends with Athi especially, but the fact that some random person I met at a bar is so similar to me and would 100% be in my friend group back home just blows my mind. Despite all of our differences and the fact we grew up literally on opposite sides of the world, we still can connect so immediately and learn from each other. It’s so beautiful.

We stayed out late last night, so I spent most of the morning sleeping. I did get some chores done like vacuuming, eating, laundry, cleaning, etc. Athi and Buntu were suppose to go to Lulu’s for a client meeting, but Buntu’s phone was turned off all day and he just never showed. I was so furious. But later on, he messaged us saying he had a family emergency, and I just feel horrible. Usually I really try to believe in people and assume the best, so I would have assumed he would only skip for a good reason, but with his work ethic recently, it just made me jump right to assuming the worst. It was kind of a slap in the face that reminded me to stay true to who I am and to not let my frustrations take over. Our whole team is being really supportive, so hopefully we can just take over some stuff and get everything done.

A couple of us went to the mall today, and I got some food for the week. I’ve had a horrible headache all day that finally went around around 8:30pm. Now, just more work on deliverables.

7/7

Class today was unbelievably long. And yes, we had class on a Saturday. After yesterday’s amazingly relaxing day, it was just miserable to get up and go to class. We did a quick lecture, lots of intervention scenarios, and then we had a guest speaker. Surprise, another white guy lol, but this guy was actually really cool. He’s all about giving opportunities to those who need it, and he just surrounds himself with amazing people. He’s been involved in so many amazing projects and showed us one called Victoria Yards, where it’s basically a cool af shopping center/incubator, and it’s all about connecting to and building up the community alongside them. It was just so beautiful.

After class, we were suppose to have a client meeting with Lulu, but she cancelled. Her aunt is in the hospital, so it’s really understandable, but as always, it’s just difficult to adjust because we have so little time to implement everything. We just spent the rest of the day working on deliverables, and me, Darian, and Athi finally got a gatsby. Basically at the UWC campus, there are these GIANT subs called gatsbys, and we’ve been wanting to try it forever, so today was finally our day.

We also talked to Darin today about our award for Best SEE Model. Instead of the helicopter ride (because I get incredibly bad motion sickness, Buntu had already done it, and it would only be a 15 minute ride), we opted to do tobogganing as a team instead and let the faculty take us out to a nice dinner.  In a little bit, we’re going to the dinner, and then we will probably all go out.

Photos: https://www.flickr.com/gp/157696732@N05/R9fFbf

7/6

Today was the absolute best day.

We woke up bright and early for our Boulders and Penguins day. Our first stop was a little marina place, where I bought some gifts for friends, got some lunch, and just got to enjoy hanging out with everyone. We then went to the Cape of Good Hope. It was stunning. The photos just don’t do it justice. We did a small hike up the cliff, and then a few of us went down to the beach. It was exactly what I needed. We just swam around for a bit and had the absolute best time, even though the water was literally so cold my skin was burning. We hiked back up and over to a little place for more food, and then we got on the bus to go to Boulder Beach. We saw so many freaking penguins and got some gelato.

Overall, it seriously the best day and exactly what I needed to recharge. I’ve missed the ocean and swimming in general so much. I just feel so balanced and relaxed. I’m just ready to take on the next few weeks.

Photos: https://flic.kr/s/aHsmoDDwxr

7/5

LOL what a shit show of a day.

Class was really good. All about marketing and sales, which is so crucial for our clients. Both Mzee and Lulu desperately need to reach out to more people and increase their sales, so today was so helpful.

We went to Mzee again, and I finished implementing his bookkeeping system. I showed him the new Excel, and we just spent some time letting him play around on it. He was so thrilled that it was simple and easier to use than his old one, and I was just so proud. We also talked about him paying himself a salary, a process to track product sales since they haven’t been at all, the idea to get an intern to do data entry, and lots of other great ideas. It was just such a good meeting, but now I gotta actually write up the deliverable for our final report.

Buntu was also suppose to have prepared a cost-benefit analysis so that we could talk to Mzee about the importance of getting his machines fixed. When we got into the van to head over there, he showed us an invoice and that was it. I thought Darian was going to kill him. Ryan was also suppose to be helping Buntu on this deliverable, and they even stayed back yesterday to work on it, so I’m just not sure what happened. But Darian basically expressed that she was furious and that it was just not acceptable at this point to be doing the bare minimum.

When we got back, we had a team meeting and talked through how unacceptable it was. We agreed on a system to get done with shit the night before (minimum) so that everyone can review and that everyone needs to be talking to Erick or Ted regularly. I blew up on Ryan just because I was so frustrated, but we cleared it up later.

In other news, on the way back from the client meeting, a few of us US kids were talking about Apartheid and the housing here. One girl asked how long it took the US to become equal, and it turned into a really great discussion about how the US isn’t equal and the lasting effects of slavery, Jim Crow, etc. It’s just really good to have such good conversations even in the midst of us being busy as hell.

I’ve just been working on writing up this deliverable, so hopefully I finish soon.

Photos: https://flic.kr/s/aHsmoDDwxM

7/4

I don’t have too much to say about today.

We had class, and then a client meeting with Mzee. It went so well!!!! We talked to Mzee about record keeping/bookkeeping, and I showed him what I had come up with. He gave some feedback, and we just threw ideas around, which was really great.

Then, we had a Braai to celebrate 4th of July. The food was absolutely incredible, like actually some of the best food I have ever had. I literally don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much. Besides the obnoxious patriotism, which I obviously hated but refuse to write about here, the day was really fun. We all just got to hang out and have some time off, and again, the food was out of this world.

We just worked on deliverables the rest of the night.

Photos: https://flic.kr/s/aHsmoDDwy8

7/3

They weren’t kidding when they said we would have nightmares about deliverables.

We had a pretty okay class today. There was a finance panel with people from various financing sectors, and after tons of white dude speakers, we finally had a black femme person, which was great and really appreciated by a lot of our classmates. It was really easy to zone out though just because my mind kept racing back to deliverables.

Our whole afternoon was difficult. Last night, Lulu tried to cancel our meeting, but we got her to agree to a later meeting, which we confirmed with her multiple times. Then this afternoon after class, she texted us saying she wouldn’t be able to make that time either, so we said she could come to us later, and she agreed. And then cancelled again. It is so frustrating. We had a good talk though because Darian wanted us to keep pushing back, but the rest of us really felt like that was just driving a bigger wedge in between us; but we finally agreed on a strategy to just be positive and flexible with her for now. This just isn’t how I expected this process to go. We have two weeks to implement deliverables, and we really need at least two meetings a week, so it’s just such a train wreck when you have a client keep canceling on you. It’s hard to stay positive and work with them because we’re on such a time crunch and under such extreme pressure. We also really just want to help, so it’s hard when the client won’t give us the time of day.

We spent the whole afternoon/night working on deliverables. I got to a good place with Mzee’s record keeping and bookkeeping systems, so I’m going to work with him tomorrow and then adjust, so that this will be finalized by Thursday.

We also have our Braai, which is essentially a South African barbecue, for the 4th of July (weirdly patriotic…I know…). But I’m excited just to hang out and eat and get a little time off.