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vessel-full-of-stories · 8 months

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I’ve done a couple of character breakdowns in the past – to varying degrees – covering Buck, Eddie, Maddie, Chris, and Abby. I also went into detail about their personal love languages and how they have influenced their relationships / evolved over time.

Now it’s Bobby’s turn.

This will not be like my regular breakdown in the sense that I have so much to say that I cannot bring myself to put it all into one post. (Even this one got super long, I'm so sorry.) Instead, I will be breaking it up over several posts because it’s not just Bobby I want to talk about. It’s his relationship with Buck and the supposed “father-son” relationship the show has attempted to establish. (And my frustration with it.) To do this properly, it takes evidence. And evidence takes time to dissect. So I’ll post it in shorter (ha), easier to digest chunks. Hopefully, it’s all legible.

So let’s start from the beginning.

It’s the first season. The introduction. Individual wants, personal struggles, and character dynamics are established (minus Eddie because he’s still in Texas) to get us, the audience, to come back and continue to watch their growth and development.

At the start of the series, Season 1 Episode 1, Robert Wade Nash has been Captain at the 118 for roughly 18 months (a year and a half). 5 years previous, a fire he blames himself for killed 148 people, including his wife and two children, Marcy, Bobby Jr, and Brook. We are told Brook would have been 13 years old in Season 2, so she was 6 or 7 when she died, Bobby Jr around the same age range (both preteens).

In the time between the fire and joining the 118, Bobby was not a Captain. He was a broken, guilt-ridden alcoholic – attempting to drink himself to death – on forced leave after the Deputy Chief covered for him (saving him from 148 counts of manslaughter). It’s likely he took pity on Bobby. He knows how hard the job is, admits to knowing a number of firefighters that are alcoholics. He could want to keep it low because he doesn’t want it to look bad on the department. He could also sympathize because this all started when, another 5 years previous to the fire (roughly 11 ½ years before Episode 1), Bobby broke his back on the job. And that’s what started everything.

That was his first introduction to highly addictive painkillers, which he often took with alcohol to heighten their effect. It was something that put strain on his marriage, his life, his duties as a father and a firefighter. His children were toddlers when it all started, which might add to his fatherly projections onto others and his struggles with the idea of fatherhood. It’s not just about how he lost his children, but how he treated them while they were alive.

He went to rehab for years but just 10 months before the fire (after 4-5 years of struggling), he fell again. He hurt his back again, and was prescribed pain killers again. This time, when he ran out of pills, he would look for anything and “everything” to replace it, an assortment of drugs being added on top of everything he struggled with before.

His wife, Marcy, knew (and his son, but not to the same extent. He could just see something was wrong.) but didn’t know how bad it truly was. She tried to love him through it. To remind him of how he was missing family moments every time he disappeared. She’d beg him to stay when he would insist on going on his “walks.” He never got to earn his wife’s forgiveness when she finally confronted him about it. The last words he heard from his kids were them begging him for help. His last words to his wife was him begging her not to go. He had to lie to her that the kids were safe, just so she could die peacefully, and when she assured him she never lost faith that he would save them, he finally broke, understanding just how thoroughly he had destroyed everything.

One night at a bar, while reviewing the incident report of the fire, he’s finally close enough to death that he imagines he’s back with his family. He cooks a wonderful meal for them, listens to his kids play, kisses his wife, and they all gather for dinner. Everything he used to skip. Before the alcohol can take him, he’s revived and all he has is hatred and resentment in his eyes for the paramedics and the Deputy Chief who cover for him, once again.

When he goes through rehab this time, things are different. His perspective has changed, and Step 8 takes on a new meaning. Instead of just making a list of the people he’s harmed to make amends with them, he buys a pocket book with exactly 148 slots to fill.

Now, Bobby is a deeply religious man. He prays, goes to confessions, and knows the consequences of suicide within his religion. However, he feels this is the only way to clear his ledger. He thinks he can make this deal with God, and earn this one wish. At just 6 months sober, he begs the Deputy Chief to take him off desk duty. He wants to be out in the field and start filling in the slots as soon as he can. He is determined and energized, with his sole focus being his eventual death so he can finally see his family again. It’s what he wants more than anything.

The Deputy Chief hesitates, straightforward about absolutely no one in the area trusting him to have their backs. So, Bobby suggests a transfer. Anywhere, just let him work so he can “balance the books,” and “attone” for the 148 lives he took “in his own way.” He agrees. 6 months later, Bobby finds himself in California, leading the 118. It’s a hell of a culture shock and it definitely takes him a minute to adjust, but he does. And he likes it. But, there lies the problem.

In the joy of his first calls at the 118, he punishes himself by lying to his old sponsor, going to the bar, and having a drink, breaking his 1 year sobriety. Confiding in a local priest, Bobby argues that he doesn’t deserve good days anymore, that he doesn’t get to forget and just go on living. It’s the priest who tells him that if he wants to help people, he needs to take his 1 year chip and earn it back.

He keeps working and restarts his sobriety. He goes to church often, talking with his priest who knows everything about Bobby’s situation and doesn’t judge, just listens and even jokes with him. He tells him about Freddie (the future season 2 bomber) calling him a liar. The priest tells him he is a hypocritical liar who lies a lot, according to Bobby’s own admission. And they laugh. Then, he asks about how honest he is with his team. While Bobby feels like his baggage would cause them to lose faith in him, the priest tells him he doesn’t have to tell them everything about his past for him to show them who he is.

So, he shows them the man he dreamed of being to his family. By cooking. He is friendly and present and a good leader, and when he’s finally honed his “rusty” cooking skills enough, he establishes the station’s tradition of family dinner. The station becomes a bright place with real unity and familial bonds, even if Bobby still keeps to himself as he fills in his book. By Bobby’s one year sobriety, Buck joins the station and 6 months after that, the show begins.

Because of everything that happened in his past, Season 1 sets up with Bobby having lost:

1) his personal connection with God/ his religion,

2) his will to live beyond repaying his debt, and

3) his desire to make deep, emotional connections with other people

These are what he is set to overcome in 10 episodes (crazy, I know) but they are not one and done. That is not how life works. Struggles/insecurities/relapses can come back and we will go into how they do in later seasons, but for now, let’s focus on Season 1.

Because he is progressing in so many ways throughout the season, it’s kind of hard to break down one thing without seeing how the other two are also influencing it. So, let’s take this episode by episode. (Again, so sorry.)

1x01:

The show starts right off the back with Bobby trying to talk a woman off a ledge. It’s a powerful reflection of Bobby’s current mindset because not only is he still like her, he is willing to admit to his own suicidal ideations if it means she will not jump. Something he will not even admit to his team at the time. He’s so determined to get this woman down, he doesn’t hesitate to empathize and relate to this deeply personal emotion they share.

She unfortunately falls, and he is not able to add her as #40 to the number of lives he’s saved. He goes to his weekly confession to talk about her and everything else, only to find a younger priest there, the elder having retired. This means everything he confided in the elder, he will have to reconfess to the youth.

It’s a subtle detail but I think it’s important to point out that we don’t really see Bobby talk to God, he talks to the priests. We hear him talk about praying, but we don’t actually see it till later. I think that adds to the disconnect with how he has lost that personal connection with his deity.

We get our introduction to Buck (after Bobby mentions drugs or a sex addiction as coping mechanisms for people in their field). Bobby has to confront him about misusing the fire trucks, claiming to “like” him, though it doesn’t seem sincere. Buck apparently used to call him “Pops.” They even went to a Springsteene concert together, something pushed by Buck because Bobby has no desire to develop relationships with his team outside of work.

If you remember the flashback of Buck’s first day at the 118 with Bobby teasing him and him thinking he finally knew where he belonged, I have to wonder what happened in the 6 months between then and this first episode. Yes, Buck is naive and a bit of a hothead. Yes, Buck is inexperienced, but his whole heart is in this job.

We see in a later episode that he has no real connection with his roommates. He is a probie and, the way Hen and Chim talk about him, they’re not exactly friends. Then, with Bobby probably rejecting his attempts to establish a mentor/father-figure relationship (seeing as Buck’s real father f**king sucks), he is clearly lonely! He has no family with Maddie being trapped by Doug and his parents being absolute dicks. He has no friends inside or outside the firehouse. Everyone on the team thinks he’s an idiot or will get them killed. I can easily see how Buck fell into a string of sex with women just to get some positive attention.

Bobby tells Chim he thinks Buck just needs direction but does he tell Buck that? Nope. He told Buck that this is not a family and that he just used 1 of his 3 strikes before he’s out. It is painfully obvious how little Bobby actually interacted with his children if he thought that was going to work on a grown man with the mental capacity of a needy teenager. He needs guidance! Not an ultimatum!

To be fair, he does try to guide him a bit after that. He can see how Buck shows genuine care for the newborn they save, and he teaches him the rule of not going past the glass doors. Of letting their patients go. But, then Buck takes advantage of the 3 strike rule and Bobby goes into a full rant that is only half about Buck (I’ll get into his projection when I cover season 3) and fires him with an “I’m sorry, kid. You’re done.” The first time we hear Bobby call anyone “kid” on the show and it very much reflects how Bobby sees him. A kid.

It’s Hen (the real MVP) that shows him any spec of kindness. After listening to him admit things were his fault and that he lacks discipline, it’s her who gets him his second chance. By chance. He just so happened to be the only one from the station available. But she still thought of him.

After a shootout that involved saving both Athena and a child’s life, plus owning up to being a punk, Bobby ends the conversation on “Go get dressed,” and Buck is officially unfired. Happy Pilot Episode.

1x02:

The rollercoaster episode. Buck was an immature ass for exactly one episode, and then this happened. It starts off great with Buck and Bobby clearly at a new level of understanding. Buck is pumped with, “Daredevil hero stuff is what I signed up for,” and Bobby saying, “Good.” He can see that it is part of what drives Buck, so he uses it. Then, Buck doesn’t save the man. He falls, and Buck loses his first victim.

Bobby is trying not to get too involved, determined to keep that emotional barrier between him and the team. He says nothing as Chim tries to get Buck to brush it off with a “one night stand” metaphor. Athena joins them for lunch and Bobby indirectly delegates her to try, which she does with the symbolism of their uniforms. Buck even looks directly at Bobby after he asks if anyone else still sees the person when they close their eyes, and he says nothing. Then, the bell rings and Bobby notices how Buck doesn’t jump up like everyone else. “Coming, kid?” It’s different from the first time he called Buck “kid.” I’m not saying it means anything because Bobby does call other people “kid” in later seasons, but I think it could also signal the blurring lines between mentor and father figure in his head.

Buck is fine all shift until they answer a call of a window washer dangling from his line. Bobby can see Buck is nervous when faced with another fall-risk victim, and allows him to go to the roof instead. This is what gets Bobby to finally step in himself.

He approaches Buck in the locker room, which is our first example of Bobby displaying his major love language (did you think I forgot?) Quality Time.

Hear me out. These love languages aren’t perfect boxes that fit every action a person performs, but I think I can argue this one fairly well, and I’m gonna jump around a bit.

When Bobby was with his wife and kids, a show of the lack of love he was providing to them was how absent he was. When he was around, he would sit on the toilet, half-asleep as they brushed their teeth, just to be in the same room as them before tucking them in for bed. When he hallucinated being with them, he was cooking for them or sitting at the table, always talking with them. Now, that’s important because I initially thought of cooking as an act of service.

However, it wasn’t about the food. It was about being present, somewhere they can see and talk to him until they could all sit down around a table and enjoy a meal together. That carried into how he treats the 118, even if he says they are not a family. It was obviously a lie (that he takes back in 1x03 haha).

It's not just about the cooking and meals, either. Bobby could be in his office when he does his paperwork, but we often see him doing it in the loft, right where everyone can see him. It’s about being present.

When he is suspended in Season 2, he doesn’t turn any of his team away even as he’s busy trying to plan his wedding. He proposes to Athena early into their relationship with the idea that no one knows how much time they have left. A major fight he’s had with Athena is the idea of their retirement and spending time together. When his team is struggling, he will often go and just talk to them, let them rant and be vulnerable around him. He shows up when they are hurt and checks in with them to make sure they’re ok.

It's about being there for them, more than anything. Being present. Spending his Quality Time with them.

So, back to Buck. After the call, Bobby approaches him and listens. Buck tells him about quitting his pursuit for the Navy Seals because he didn’t want to turn off his emotions to get a job done. He wants his feelings because he genuinely loves helping people.

That confession might have been what put that first cracks in the wall Bobby built between him and the team. Finally, he's vulnerable. With Buck.

He tells him in vivid, undeniable detail exactly who his first victim lost was: her age, everything she was wearing, how her toenails were painted, the scene of the accident, and her last words. Showing just how much it stuck with him, like Buck is struggling with now. He tells him he’s glad he can’t turn off his emotions, “I don’t want you to. It’s not gonna make you a better firefighter.” And tells him anyone who says they are not affected after losing someone is a liar.

He must see the stubborn mindset Buck is set in, so he offers him a card for the department’s therapist that just so happened to be in his pocket. He knew it would come to this. “You don’t have to talk to me,” it is an offer, an open door, “but you do have to talk to someone.” Don’t let this stop you from being you. And he leaves.

With yet another man teetering on a ledge, this time on purpose, Bobby doesn’t let Buck back out of doing what he’s good at. “Buck, you’ve got this.” And he does. After the save, Buck’s confidence is back and he thanks Bobby for pushing him. Bobby praises him for bouncing back and saving a man’s life. “You did good, kid.” That’s twice in one episode. Thrice in the first two episodes of the series. They were clearly setting things up for them to share a father-son relationship.

1x03:

When I said cooking is about being around everyone and being in the conversation? Yeah, that includes the ones he wasn’t a part of. Bobby can’t help but comment when Chim and Hen are discussing his failed proposal to Tatianna.

There’s already some tension there with Chim feeling like Bobby passes over him to do “the fun stuff.” He mentions The Maneuver last episode (Chim offered after Buck initially declined, but Bobby made Buck do to gain his confidence back) or scaling down the cliffside at the beginning of this one. In this context, he's framing it as him wanting these grand rescues so he doesn't have to make up stories to impress his girlfriend, even though it's obviously more.

Bobby claims that Tatianna is manipulating him by only being interested in the illusion, and Chim is believing it. He talks about the lack of honesty their relationship was built on. Chim turns around to call Bobby out for keeping secrets, too. To say how judgy he is, even when he shuts down every time anyone else tries to ask about him. How none of them know anything about his personal life after 18 months.

After storming out from their fight, Chimney gets into an accident. I think it’s sweet that Captain Serrano of the 122 recognized him and called Bobby personally, not letting anyone else touch him. He knew they’d want to be the ones to care for such a severe injury on one of their own. That they’d do everything they could to save him.

Bobby knew his allergies and stayed right by his side the entire time, talking to him. He even tried to convince him not to see himself, but relented when Chim asked. He calls Chim the smartest guy on his team, the one he would be consulting with in this situation. Showing how much he does value him.

They’re stopped from following for not being “family,” and Bobby tries to ration it as them stopping at the door like always. When he learns that Chim survived surgery, Bobby is determined to make things right. He confronts Tatianna. Tells her how the department is a “brotherhood” and calls Chimney his friend, that it’s not about love, it’s about “decency.” Tatianna makes good points about the flaws in his perspective. Although it’s rough, she’s not wrong for refusing to go sit by his bed and hold his hand. To pretend.

Bobby tries one last time, and his stubbornness is revealed to be for his own personal reasons. He confesses that all he can do for Chim is pray and get people he will fight for to be by his side. When she refuses, and Hen fails to get ahold of his parents, he sits there with his team. Talking to him and joking, even if they only have two minutes before they’re kicked out. He tosses away exactly what he told Buck two episodes ago, holds Chim’s hand, and says “His family’s right here.” Yet another major crack in the wall between him and the people around him.

1x04:

AKA The heartbreak trifecta/ Bobby breaks. This episode hits all three of Bobby’s buttons. Bobby is on #46 of his list, and Buck is determined to figure out what it means. Hen warns him against prying, as she already tried just 3 months into knowing him, but Buck doesn’t listen. (Hen even mentions Bobby “popping”/punching him for snooping. Buck clearly doesn’t believe that, even after he retreated from Bobby’s charge in their rooftop confrontation in 1x01.) Not only does Buck tell Bobby he’s already seen what’s inside the book, knowing it’s a list of people he saved, but he also counted the spaces! And asks Bobby directly why there are exactly 148! (Jesus. Buck. My love.)

Bobby had absolutely no right to assault Buck by throwing and pinning him against the wall, and I will stand by that. Yes, it was an invasion of privacy but Bobby isn’t exactly subtle with his book. He was sitting in the loft, in the corner, staring at it/reading it silently. That doesn’t exactly scream that it’s something so secretive that it’s never to be seen by another mortal’s eyes. Truly, it was still an absolute invasion of privacy, but that level of backlash was uncalled for. To physically grab him by the collar (when he clearly doesn’t know why the book is such a big deal, obviously, because Bobby won’t tell anyone) and swing him around to pin him against the wall and growl at him. I just… It really wouldn’t bother me as much if we at least saw/ heard some allusion to an apology sometime afterwards. But whatever. Because that whole thing gets interrupted by a plane crash.

This is a disaster more than most of them have ever witnessed before – especially Buck – and Bobby is quick, yet not unkind in the way he tells him to keep moving past the bodies on the shore. There's too many other people that need them.

On the plane, Bobby refuses to abandon a trapped mother who just convinced her son to leave her behind. I don't want to say it's a parallel, but Buck is the one who carries the boy away, leaving their parents behind.

He essentially makes a suicide pact with her, promising not to leave, and it’s Buck who comes to the rescue. His pseudo-son, who knows he’s “a terrible listener” after disobeying orders to leave him. Who is scared as hell. He comes up with a plan to save them both, begging Bobby to trust him before he's pushed away by the rising waters. He’s screaming Bobby’s name the whole time they’re under. He clearly cares for him so much, even after their fight.

Bobby isn’t focused on that, though. The plan works and the two of them are safe. However, the mother and child's reunion consumes him, triggering his love for his own wife and son, their love for each other, and how he failed them. It’s all there when Hen comments that the save must “make you feel pretty good,” and he just says, “Yeah.” No.

He breaks his 546 (545 1/2) day sobriety, dreaming of talking to his kids as he cooks. It’s all he wants, to be back with them. He’s too hungover to wake up for work, so Hen and Buck go to check his apartment. Buck is ready to break down the door, he’s so worried, and he’s surprised Hen has an emergency key. (Obviously, no one has trusted him with one before. And he had no one to trust one with. Yet.)

After they find him passed out on the bed, drag him into the tub, and wake him up with a shower, he fails to convince either of them that he's fine. Refuses to absorb Hen's sage advice. And Buck, being Buck, approaches it in the most Buck way possible.

See, Buck grew up with Maddie, someone who loves him dearly and someone he could always go to. Buck went all around the country and to Peru, learning every kind of job out there. He’s still a probie, fresh out of the academy. Basically, Buck has been in a constant state of learning for years because he's constantly jumping around and trying new things. He seeks new information out, meaning he's asking others or the Internet for help. To teach him. And here is his mentor – who even Chim described as “someone who thinks he’s right all the time” – struggling to just ask.

He's setting out four plates for an empty apartment. Saying he’s fine. Trying to make jokes out of their attempt to get through to him. Of course! Buck! Is just like! “Maybe ask for help once in a while?” Because OF COURSE it’s that simple. No, it really, truly is. And still it is so, so difficult at the same time. But Bobby does it. He says, “Help.” Another crack in that wall and a big one. He breaks down crying, letting them hug him and tell him it’s alright as he apologizes. All he needs to do is ask, and they'll be there.

1x05:

The final crack in the wall, and it’s not what you might think. It’s not another moment of soul-crushing sadness on his chest that finally drives Bobby to really be himself around his team. To open up and show just how much baggage he’s carrying around. IT’S BUCK AND HEN. (Sorry, Chim, you're still in recovery. But you did help.) More accurately, it’s Hen's headstrong compassion that challenges Bobby's behavior and the bright, loveable joy Buck brings just by being him. It’s love and warmth that finally gets to him. Because he loves them back.

The episode starts heavy. Hell, the whole episode is heavy. It starts with the top floor of a building collapsing during a wedding celebration. It turns out the extra floor wasn’t built following proper guidelines in order to cut corners and save money, damning it to eventually collapse. This triggers Bobby as the building he and his family lived in was also “a deathtrap,” a number of things (like the materials of the building and a disconnected sprinkler system) partially to blame for the level of tragedy that occurred that night.

After suffering a relapse just a day ago, his emotions overwhelm him and he lashes out at the landlord. Hen has to pull him off of the man and when he turns his rage to her, he tells her to “Back off.” She tries to remind him he asked for help, but he shoves off her arm and storms away.

Things are frosty between them after that. They would have moved past it, I know, but seeing as Hen didn't pry about the book, I don't know if they would have talked about it again. They might have just moved on. Go back to how things were before. But then, they get a call to a carwash.

A poor man got caught by one of the large brushes, hoses wrapping around him as he spins uncontrollably. And it's all caught on camera, much to Buck's delight. He cracks up laughing, drawing the attention of Hen and Bobby. And when they see the video, Buck’s cackling overpowers their professionalism and they burst into laughter, too.

That bit of humanity was enough to melt the ice between Bobby and Hen. It's just like his first day again, where he's having fun with his team. Where he has a good day. Hen even says she's never seen him laugh like that. It’s because he wouldn't let himself.

Now, he did. He has people around him who care about him, and he can admit to caring about them back. He tells Hen that she, Chim, and Buck have become that important to him, after trying so hard to shut everyone out. To never be hurt that deeply again.

"Let us in, Bobby." And he agrees. He introduces himself to all of them over a meal. (Obviously.) Finally, he wants something more than just his old family.

1x06:

Valentine's Day. I think a deeply underrated Bobby and Buck moment is not the two of them casually debating the holiday as a scam vs a valid occasion to celebrate the one you love, but how Bobby brings up his wife himself. He talks about loving Valentine's day since he was 8. How after he met his wife, it was wonderful to share the day with someone. It’s already so personal and (unlike last time Buck pried) when Buck asks if Bobby misses his wife on the holiday, he says, “I miss her every day, Buck. Miss her every day.”

He’s grown mentally and emotionally since opening up to his team. Chim returns to work and Bobby calls him “the heart of the firehouse,” claiming it “hasn’t been the same” without him. They’ve become closer since their fight and Bobby isn’t afraid to show that he cares. And it’s not just him.

Buck is getting ready for his date and Bobby is literally tying his freaking tie. Let me remind you that Buck is not really a dating guy. He traveled all over, not exactly looking for long term relationships. His isolation sent him into an episode of sex addiction, sure, but he still loved that he didn’t need to contact the women afterwards. I can’t say what he might have been like in middle or high school, but we can probably assume this is his first real, adult date. And Bobby is tying his tie. If that is not the most father-coded sh**, I don’t know what is. And it doesn’t stop there!

Buck tells him how he's afraid of messing things up. They discuss sex vs intimacy, and Bobby gives him the advice to try getting to know her first, without sex. He wishes him luck “keeping it in your pants” and Buck LAUGHS. It’s cute. They’re bonding. You can tell how happy it makes Buck in the split second before it cuts to the next scene.

When the date turns sideways (well, Buck does, because he loses consciousness) and Buck gets hospitalized because of bread, Bobby shows up to the hospital. We know from season 3 that Bobby is Buck’s emergency contact, but it clearly started sooner, likely because there was simply no one else that would need to be informed that he’d be missing work.

Buck is unconscious when he arrives, Abby sitting at his side, and although Bobby offers to take over watching him, they decide to keep each other company. They talk and it's nice. Eventually, Bobby invites her to get coffee as they leave the room together.

(Now, this was probably to comfort her, but I’m gonna give my personal crack theory for a second and say I really think the writers were gonna potentially set Bobby and Abby up before the actress decided to leave the show. Their ages matched. The whole camera work of his first sight/introduction of her walking into the fire station for Chimney’s party. Him leaving Buck in the hospital bed to take her to coffee. It even makes sense that they spent more time developing Buck and Bobby's relationship than anyone else's so that it would make a bigger conflict when the love triangle began... Idk. Again, crack theory. I’m not saying they would have been endgame. But just that first look. Weird vibes. Anyways.)

1x07:

The father-son duo have a blast together. I feel like later seasons don’t break the team apart as much as they did in season 1. We get all kinds of match ups with just two or three characters teaming up together on calls and we get to see them interact with each other in new ways. It’s fun.

It’s the full moon and everyone’s going nuts. Bobby listens as Buck incorrectly quotes the correlation of the moon, gravity, and crazy people as “science," then calls him out affectionately.

When multiple pregnant women doing yoga happen to go into labor at the same time, Buck delivers his first baby. Bobby guides his through it, maintaining that mentor role, and is calm and assuring, smiling, telling him “good job.”

It’s a team effort and they work well together. With the ridiculousness of it all, Buck asks if he still thinks the full moon thing is a myth, to which Bobby says, “Yes, and I still think you’re an idiot.” There is banter there where it used to only be correction or borderline tolerance.

Then, we find out just how uncomfortable Bobby is with worms (in this case tapeworms) as one crawls out of a man, and Buck gets to tease him for it. We get Bobby curious as to Buck’s knowledge of them, and he talks about bartending in South America. It’s a hilariously slow removal process that Bobby cringes at till the very end. So wholesome.

1x08:

It's Chimney’s turn to push Bobby forward. Where Hen and Buck helped him reconnect with people, Chim helps him see the value in life, especially his own. (And we get Bobby calling Buck “kid” #3 at the beginning of the episode. Back to Chim.)

Now, Hen and Chim are closer in age to Bobby than Buck, and they were at the 118 before Bobby, so it makes his relationship to them less fatherly and more of a deep friendship. One that was truly established with Chim this episode.

Chimney is giving back after his life saving surgery by holding a blood drive (to “balance himself out with the universe,” just like Bobby is), and everyone at the station has donated except for one. Their captain. While there is the fun joke of learning Bobby has an intense phobia of needles, it leads to him getting a call from the doctor about his blood results. Without any additional information, everyone assumes it’s not good news.

He confides in his priest, telling him he’s only on #62 in his book. How he fears he won’t get to balance everything before he dies, and, therefore, his soul won’t be at peace. He won’t get his wish.

Chim, feeling guilty for making him give the donation in the first place, goes with him to the doctor and learns about Bobby’s “golden arm.” A rare blood type that could save any of the 4 thousand babies born with Rhesus disease every year. While Chim sees it as ironic, Bobby sees it as God punishing him.

Chimney teases him about the whole thing, bringing up medals of honor and saving kids. But Bobby breaks, screaming “They’re the wrong kids! I want my kids.” Listening to Bobby, he finds out about his deal with God and exactly how he wants things to end. It's devastating.

It’s also probably the only time Chim has managed to keep a secret. He's so focused on helping him, there's no time to fester on the knowledge. He calls Bobby to the hospital without elaborating just to make sure he’d show up. Then, he shows him exactly what his donations can do.

Seeing it makes his actions real. Proves that he is helping real people, with real lives, and real problems that only he can fix. He doesn’t dismiss the fact that Bobby wants to see his kids, telling him he truly believes he will see them again. Just not yet. “They’re your kids, too.”

From Chim's point of view, Bobby's golden arm is not a punishment. It's God is teasing him by making him have to deal with needles every 8 weeks for the rest of his life. This not only disrupts Bobby's plans to take his own life, but challenges his perspective of God’s plan for him and how he is viewed.

“Considering who I work with, [God] must figure I can take a joke.” He hugs Chim and the two of them watch the parents enjoy their healthy newborn in front of them. Definitely a top tier Chim episode.

1x09:

Not a ton happens Bobby-wise. We have a wonderful allusion to Bobby knowing Buck’s personal life by knowing he had a date on his morning off. Some more Quality Time as he listens to Buck’s thoughts about Abby’s situation and his personal bias against it. Then, he offers some heartfelt truths about relationships and baggage, and how someone’s personal life is not a trap to be pulled out of but a space for someone to step inside to keep them company. (Kinda like what the team did for him.)

Then, Buck gets hit in the face with a window-bowlingball-boobytrap and Bobby calls up to ask if he’s ok. That’s it.

1x10:

The finale. With his suicidal ideation crushed by his new role as a baby savior, his connection with God readjusting itself, and his team showing him he can have deep, meaningful connections with people, Bobby makes himself a profile on a dating site.

The way Chim and Hen immediately zero in on his suspicious behavior and just dive into his laptop is hilarious, a complete 180 from when his book was snooped in. He’s comfortable around them and lets them and Buck scroll through the page.

Hen tells him how great she thinks it is and he confesses to not thinking dating websites are for him, that he's uncomfortable with something so unfamiliar and feels like a probie. The whole thing was only recommended by his sponsor (Wendell).

Buck and Chim tease him mercilessly and he defends most of it, one again calling Buck an idiot when he says “ember” instead of “amber” which, again, is more affectionate than anything else.

I will say that I hate the writing choice that even after hearing how much Buck gushes about Abby, and the team admitting he’s in the healthiest relationship out of all of them, NO ONE believes him after this random woman ASSAULTS him for allegedly ghosting her. They don’t even stop her as she walks away. They are best friends with a fu**ing cop for god’s sake, no one’s gonna say anything? Ugh.

Once again, it is a familial call that triggers Bobby and this one nearly sends him into a panic attack. The man was in a motorcycle accident on his way home to show off his new bike to his son. Bobby dials and holds the phone so the man can use his final moments to talk to him as if nothing were wrong and tell him he loves him.

Athena sees him struggling and offers to help anyway she can. Which Bobby accepts, asking her to go somewhere with him. Church. He talks about how he uses the church to confess and keep himself out of trouble, to pray, forgive, and forget. They talk about how the job has influenced their personal lives, and how exhausting it can all be, yet “still so damn fun.” Finally, he asks her to pray with him, strengthening the connection between them as well as their connection with their deity. It’s nice that they can relate on so many lifestyle choices.

Chim once again shows their friendship level by mentioning “game night” (as in watching a sports game) so casually that it can be inferred as an established/common get together. But Bobby says he has a date.

Chim immediately takes interest and stays a little longer just to tease him and help him with his outfit. (Their mannerisms are distinctly different from how he and Buck interacted. Showing a different, yet equally important relationship.) It ends with Bobby stating “once you get out of your own way, you start to see everything and everyone in a different light,” and throwing away his book.

He’s ready to move on with his life, with his team, and now with Athena, too.

....

DONE!

I just want you to know I will not be doing episode by episode breakdowns like this for the rest of the seasons. I only did it because the whole first season really establishes Bobby’s character (and it’s only 10 episodes long).

Now, I can kinda skim over the seasons and talk in reference, especially because I already went through his whole background. I can focus on the big parts that really shift and challenge him, his relationships, and the show.

If you made it all the way to the end, I hope you liked it. More will come eventually. I am not fast, but it will happen. Thanks for reading.

#911 fox #911 on fox #911 abc #bobby nash breakdown #bobby nash #evan buck buckley #henrietta wilson #chimney han #athena grant #911 season 1 #i had to do half of this post over again because it didnt save my changes the first time #i hope whoever reads it at least finds it interesting. i know its a lot oh my god. the other ones will not be like this #i tried #i also only have 10 image slots so some of the episodes dont have any screenshots. sorry.

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