vanilla-phantoms
Rehabilitation Center For Evil Little Men
Lear/Van, he/him. COMMISSIONS OPEN Posts art about a bunch of stuff but currently into Star Trek. This is my art account, with occasional text posts, but if you want the real unfiltered reblog stream, go to @vanilla-phantomhive
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Welcome to the Zine O’Biology
A multi-fandom Star Trek Zine.
Do you have strong opinions on Vulcan fra’als, Cardassian tails, or how the heck Trill symbionts reproduce? We want to hear from you!
The Zine O’Biology is a fictional comparative xenobiology academic journal set in the Star Trek universe. If you’ve always wanted to wax eloquent for up to 3000 words about your theories on alien biology, welcome to your new home!
We want all your theories about all your favorite aliens! This is a friendly but competitive academic journal where the content of every paper is a little bit suspicious (is this paper based on rumor or fact? What is the methodology?) and some competing authors leave snarky comments on one another’s work. So just like a real academic journal, except ours features the Great Green Anthurium.
We welcome xenobiology articles on all Star Trek aliens from all series!
The final format will be a PDF that you can scroll at your leisure or print at home in order to have a physical copy of the Zine. (This way there is no money involved.)
--SEEKING SUBMISSIONS FOR--
Alien biology articles
Alien biology artwork
In-Universe advertisements
Letters to the editor
ALIEN BIOLOGY ARTICLES
How do Andorian genders work? Are Cardassians actually lizards? Why do Klingons have so many redundant organs? What’s the biological purpose of Bajoran nose ridges? What’s the best cement mix for emergency surgery on a Horta?
You’ve been pondering alien biology for years. This is your chance to infodump all your favorite theories to an eager audience of your fellow nerds!
Articles will be separated into two categories: reproductive biology or general biology. Yes, we also want all your theories on what every species is packing downstairs…and how they use it.
Journal articles should be fun and engaging, but also written in your interpretation of a pseudo-academic style, since this is a highly respected Federation xenobiology journal. If you want to keep things more lighthearted and less academic, check out the section on Letters to the Editor.
ALIEN BIOLOGY ARTWORK
If you have independent illustrations about alien biology we would love to see them! If you would like to provide illustrations for one of our journal articles, tell us what species you want to illustrate and we’ll do our best to match you up!
Art should be in a square, scaleable format, printable at high resolution at 4x4 inches.
JOURNAL ADVERTISEMENTS
Even in a post-need future, academic journals will need a little extra funding. Submit your ads for Ferengi Oomox Creme, Self Sealing Stem Bolts, Gently Used Federation Technology, and, of course, “reproductive aids.” The weirder the better! Have fun with it!
All art needs to be printable at high resolution
Ad Sizes:
1 column (vertical) 3.5 x 7
half page (horizontal) 8 x 5
banner (narrow horizontal) 8 x 2
in-text (square) 3.5 x 3.5 scaleable
in-text (half-square) 3.5 x 1.75
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Do you have a great idea, but it’s not enough to fill out a 3000 word article? Submit it as a “reaction” to a previous journal article. Feel free to lay into a mythical researcher who does NOT understand why their biological theory is wrong and yours is right!
Max length 800 words. Enjoy making these plenty frothy!
WE NEED SUB-EDITORS!
The creators of this Zine are all notorious Vulcan Fuckers. Since we want the Zine O’Biology to be open to all alien species, it is only logical that we seek your expertise.
We’re seeking fans from all over the Star Trek universe to spread the word that yes, it’s time for us to all come together in the spirit of explaining how our favorite aliens come together.
Sub-Editors will be in charge of helping us solicit articles and art for their specific race of aliens and editing those articles in order to fit into the Zine. If we don’t have a sub editor for a species, we’ll do our best, but the chapter on that species won’t be as good as it would be if folks with real fanon knowledge were involved.
WANT TO GET INVOLVED, BUT YOU’RE NOT A WRITER OR ARTIST?
WE NEED:
Graphic designers to help with Zine layout
Social media promoters
Alien art and article wranglers (ie: get your fannish friends involved!)
--HOW TO GET INVOLVED--
Fill out the Art or Writing Google Form letting us know your interests or reach out to the Editor in Chief at [email protected]
DEADLINES:
August 1, 2024: Last date for everyone seeking an art or writing partner to submit their request. We don’t guarantee you’ll be partnered up. It depends on how many people are interested and what aliens they want to draw/write.
August 18, 2024: Art/Writing partners notified. NOTE: it’s both fine and encouraged if you want to submit as a team from the start! This is for people who do not have a partner and would like us to find them one.
August 30, 2024: Final call for all journal authors, artists, and advertisers to let us know what species they’re working with, how many submissions they plan to send, and whether their submission will be general or reproductive biology.
October 20, 2024: All art, advertising, and journal submissions are due
We hope to have the Zine O’Biology ready for your enjoyment by New Year’s Eve 2024. We all have full time jobs and lives, so that date may change depending on the volume of submissions.
FAQ
What if my biological theories are totally different from another author’s?
Yes. Perfect. We love it.
We want to see everyone’s theories! Canon gave us scraps, but together we will make a meal! Expect to see many mutually contradictory articles. That’s part of the fun!
What about Smut?
Yes, we are accepting E rated submissions! The journal will be separated into two sections:
General Biology
Reproductive Biology
General Biology is everything but the genitals
Reproductive Biology should include actual descriptions of the mechanics and biology. Think of it as creating reference material for smut writers and artists.
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Your Spock is so adorble ToT
omg I only just saw this but thanks so much
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PART 3
21. Evelyn by Kim Tillman
The verses of this are very Kepler but it's at this point in the playlist because the choruses are very kepcobi:
"Till human voices wake us
And we drown, and we drown
Seductive and impeccable abuse
You do it to yourself
I bet you know you do
I love you cause I do it to you too"
The verses really capture his ambition and especially how willing he is to transform himself in pursuit of his goals
"These lofty thoughts are killing me
Preoccupied by what I could be
I get so high on my ideals
Don't call me down
But you can meet me where I land"
22. Breaking Even by Larry and his Flask
This is the sunk cost fallacy of working for Goddard. He hates it there, but he still believes in it. He's done horrible things for it, but he's been there so long he doesn't know how to do anything else. But, as the song says, "there's no way out of this/ no one to put an end to this but you"
"I hope all the money will cushion the fall
It's a hell of a long way down
You'll be swimming in a sea of guilt
And eventually you will drown"
23. Evil by AJJ
Once again I am putting so much emphasis on my headcanon that he recreated his identity after joining Goddard, which isn't canon but it really informs so much of how I see him
"No one will know how evil I really am
No one will know how evil I really am
'Cause I like to wear disguises
And I like to disguise my plans
No one will know how evil I really am
And no one will know truly how I feel
And no one will know how I truly feel
'Cause I can no longer differentiate
Between what is fake and what is real
I don't know how I feel"
24. Who Are You Really? by Mikey Ekko
More of the same vibe but this time from Jacobi's perspective. Something something Jacobi knows Kepler isn't letting him get close enough to know the real him, but that doesn't stop him from being loyal. Note the line "see me bare my teeth FOR you" instead of "bare my teeth AT you"
25. The Fine Print by The Stupendium
This song has been memed but seriously is this not exactly what Kepler was like to the heaphestus crew when he actually showed up in the podcast? we are now in canon territory baby
"Oh, honestly?
Did you not read the colony policy?
That defines you as company property?
That waivers your say in autonomy?
The conglomerate's got you in lock and key
We put the dollar back into idolatry
If you're upset, you can rent an apology
We are a family forged in bureaucracy
No "I" in "team, " but there's "con" in "economy"
26. Feed the Machine by Poor Man's Poison
This is also very him @ the Hephaestus crew. Heavy "know your place" vibes which plays into how he sees himself in the hierarchy
27. The Man by The Killers
I think that when he got on the Hephaestus he was absolutely playing up the bravado to the maximum. In some of the bonus content, his VA was talking about how they were really playing up the strict rank dynamic in order to intimidate the Hephaestus crew, and when they were on earth, the SI-5 probably had a bit more of an equal dynamic. This song is all bravado
28. Get Used to It by Ricky Montgomery
this is one of the choices I'm most proud of. This is inspired entirely by his "artist formerly known as Warren Kepler" speech. He used to have so much ambition and now he's given his life to Goddard.
29. It Took Me By Surprise by Maria Mena
This one is the scene where Jacobi tries to get Minkowski to shoot Kepler. Kepler is so surprised that Jacobi would ever turn on him
"It took me by surprise
The hatred in his eyes
I've pushed this man as far as he could go
But he lacked the words to let me know
He acted out, now I can see it is my fault"
30. Monster by Dodie
This also tracks how Kepler has fallen out of favor with Jacobi. I have a larger analysis also about how Kepler's character arc revolves around reclaiming his humanity and how dehumanizing someone stops them from becoming a better person, so the monster imagery fits well
"I'm guessing that I've grown horns
I guess I'm human no more
I can tell I've rotted in your brain"
I could be so interested in a breakdown of your playlists! I love when people tell me their Kepler thoughts :)
Hoo boy here we go (I think I will do this in three separate posts bc otherwise it will be miles long, but here’s part one)
First off, here’s the playlist again for reference:
1. Tombstone Blues by Richie Havens
This one is on his official playlist by Urbena and it really influenced some of my hcs for him. It feels like a good tone setter for the whole playlist as well as starting off chronologically with his childhood.
“Mama's in the factory, she ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley, he's lookin' for food
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues”
I headcanon he grew up poor with parents who were often absent and working, leading him to become very competent and self sufficient at a young age.
The verses to this song also have this sense of absurdist parody of capitalist wartime America which really fits well for his character as a whole
2. White Room by Cream
This one is also on his official playlist and I’m gonna be honest I mostly put it here for vibes. The lyrics don’t make too much sense except for the repeated train station setting. I especially like this verse for him:
“You said no strings could secure you at the station
Platform ticket, restless diesels, goodbye windows
I walked into such a sad time at the station
As I walked out, felt my own need just beginning”
Idk man. It just fits. There’s going to be a theme in these early life songs of restless frustration.
3. Time Bomb by Rancid
I discovered this song as a Jacobi song, but I can imagine Kepler in his mid teen years falling in with the ‘wrong crowd’ and having a rebellious phase. Once more mostly a reflection of an upbringing forcing him to grow up too fast and a restless anger from being someone very intelligent with few opportunities.
“Well, he's back in the hole where they got him living
Like a rat but he's smarter than that nine lives
Like a cat 15 years old, take him to the youth authority home
First thing you learn, you got to make it in this world alone”
4. King for a Day by Green Day
This is on there for gender headcanons that are very influenced by the headcanons of a friend of mine @vvarren-kepler (who will have more insightful comments about this than me). But it boils down to, Kepler is always someone who uses his image as a tool, and maybe at goddard he uses a traditionally masculine presentation to achieve a specific image and effect and because he knows life will be easier for him that way. Maybe, just maybe, when he was younger with a bit more freedom, he was a bit different.
5. Dirty Imbecile by The Happy Fits
See my other post here for this one:
6. Red Right Hand by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
This one is here for his recruitment into Goddard. I like to hc that Cutter recruited him himself, and so in this song Cutter is the man with the red right hand, coming to “rescue” kepler from his life with high and dangerous promises
7. The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie by Colter Wall
This song is a fun one for Kepler in general, but like the one before the “devil” in this song is actually Cutter. This is another one I have on here for his recruitment. I really like the metaphor of goddard as something kepler “sold his soul” or his humanity to, like Lovelace points out in that one scene.
Highlighting this lyric because I can really see cutter using a “you’re just like me” kind of technique when recruiting kepler:
“I know you, I know you young man
I know you by the state of your hands
You're a six-string picker
Just as I, I am”
8. Megalomania by David Lemaitre
This is for him as he’s just joined Goddard, getting used to the cutthroat lifestyle and feeling a little out of his depth.
9. Call Them Brothers by Regina Spektor
I’ve mentioned before that I hc Kepler as having a younger brother that he was the primary caretaker of growing up but who he is now estranged from. This is the process of that estrangement. I think kepler did stick around and take care of him at least until he came of age and could take care of himself, but not for long after that. This could also be the time he decides to change his name and separate himself from his family entirely (I also hc that Kepler isn’t his real surname)
10. Glory and Gore by Lorde
This one is also on his official playlist, and I’m using it to represent his transfer from more normal work in goddard to the black-ops work he ends up leading. I think he probably didn’t start there, but it’s always where Cutter intended to put him. This lyric is one I think fits him pretty well:
‘Delicate in every way but one (the swordplay)
God knows we like archaic kinds of fun (the old ways)
Chance is the only game I play with, baby
We let our battles choose us’
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My semester ends this Saturday so I’m going to have some free time and I’m opening commissions! Please message me if interested!
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Honestly who gave him the right
#how is this unedited#why is he so caked up on a Wednesday afternoon#put that away#star trek tos#james t kirk#van talks
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Art vs artist 2023
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It’s mollusk Monday
#i hope this gets spit out of my queue on a Monday but I am not going to make sure it does#these are specimen drawings from a museum#artists on tumblr#vanilla draws#traditional art#science art#marine biology
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More life drawing
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Posting the sketch of this just in case I don’t like how it turns out but. Dukat and sisko posting
#my first time drawing sisko#he has no eyebrows#gul dukat#benjamin sisko#skrain dukat#star trek ds9#ds9#star trek deep space nine#star trek fanart#fanart
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My dnd character Wayward. Grave cleric, grew up as the object of worship of a death cult. I love this guy
#artists on tumblr#vanilla draws#traditional art#dnd ocs#ocs#dnd#dnd charcter art#grave cleric#wayward Engelbrecht
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Does this count as art? This is literally my evolutionary biology homework
#go on tumblr to learn about altruism in viscous populations#artists on tumblr#vanilla draws#traditional art#people like science right
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View from the top of the hill looking down to the sea
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Lighthouse window view
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Different than my usual art but I did a linocut of the IDIC symbol
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Remember Daskeh, my oc that’s an adopted teen daughter of garak that appeared to me in a dream? No? Anyway this is what she looked like in the part of my dream where she met bashir for the first time. They were at some sort of fancy gala or something
#she finally let garak put her hair up#Daskeh garak#elim garak#oc#star trek ds9#ds9#star trek deep space 9#artists on tumblr#vanilla draws#traditional art
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Life drawing
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