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tomuraxashes · 7 months
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Lethal beauties
Horus, thinking about Seth: There is nothing dangerous than a beautiful person who is aware of their attractiveness
Seth, thinking he means Hartor: Bullshit.
Horus: What do you mean?
Seth: They can suck up their beauty if they don’t know how to fight
Horus: .. sure. That’s a lethal combination. I am lucky to have it in 3 in 1
Seth: Lmao. Since when can Hartor fight?
Horus, confused: Since when do we talk about Hartor?
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Back to my fav, original Madara x Akatsuki AU
Asking a tailed beast to come ‘home’
Deidara: So apparently.. we almost have all the tailed beasts in our possession. Who’s next.
Kisame: Idk, Hachibi or Kyuubi?
Nagato: Actually , the nine tails is here.
Deidara: Huh? How?
Nagato: Well I kinda just found him and asked him to come with me.
Kisame: And he just did so?
Nagato: I told him we have Madara here, he was more than eager to come.
Deidara: How?
Obito: They.. kinda have a shared past. So, ehm, now they have some time to discuss
Nagato: By ‘discussing’ he means that they are now trying to kill each other and/or throwing insults. Ngl, it’s kinda fun tho.
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Horus, drawing:
👫🏻
This could be us,
But I don’t even know you really want it..
Seth: I never said to fall in love with me
Horus: You kissed me
Seth: I did
Horus: So now face the consequences!!!
Seth: Those being?
Horus: You kissed me which made me fall in love with you, and you being the first for me now I want it to be real, everlasting love and love together forever.
Seth:.. why did you draw a woman and a man tho?
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Ra: Try not to kill anyone on accident.
Set: I'm not an idiot, Ra. I know how to kill people on purpose.
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Osiris: Things have actually been going really well with Set. Our friendship is in a really good place.
Osiris: Last week, I said, "Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?" And instead of saying, "Shut up, Osiris," he said, "Okay."
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Set: I like people the way I like my tea. Osiris: :) Set: In a bag underwater. Osiris: :(
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Sasuke meeting Kurama for the first time
• canon x Madara x Akatsuku series spinoff, whatever •
Sasuke: I assume this is not your first time seeing a sharingan
Kurama: That vision of yours.. and that chakra more ominous that my own.. you are the spitting image of Madara Uchiha
Sasuke: Never heard of him.. Am I suppose to care?
Kurama, amused: Uhm, yeah. You should. Pretty much.
Obito, out of nowhere: Daamn kid, you really know nothing
Nagato: You done. Soo done.
Obito: You know what? Try to think about your will, like.. right now
Naruto: Why are random people appearing in my belly?
Fugaku: I guess I’m sorry. I forgot to educate him.. like I didn’t plan to die so early but he was already at academy damnit, and he knows no shit about our history.. I am a horrible parent.
Sasuke: Well can’t argue with that but.. HOW COME YOU ARE HERE? You are dead!! And why is here another random Uchiha if I am supposed to be the last?
Obito: Yup, he is dead, me and my friend here, who is also a honorary Uchiha himself, are alive, and basically Madara is as well..
Fugaku: Oh my..
Obito: I will consider not to tell him about your son having .. no information about his past. We need him for the plot, it would not be benefital if he killed him now.
Sasuke: Why would anybody kill me?
Kurama: Trust me, Madara would. Just like that.
Nagato: He doesn’t need a reason. He is sassy.
Madara, out of nowhere: Love how you two - points at Obito and Nagato - find every possible occasion to back mouth me, also, ‘ignorance is power’, would come handy later, yet Kurama you blind? He looks nothing like me.
Hashirama: Indeed. Madara is much more beautiful.
Madara: Now.. YOU - where the hell come from?
Hashirama: Dunno.. guess the same as the others just appeared here.
Madara: I refuse to share space with you.
Hashirama: We even shared a bed..
Madara: Kurama kick him out, now!
Obito: So what’s with the ‘The Kyuubi never bows to anybody’s will again?’
Kurama: That’s true.
Obito: You just did what he said.
Kurama: That’s also true.
Nagato: Like it would ever be a question of choice
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Atsushi: Dazai san, why are you eating so much, various types of multivitamins at once while drinking wine?
Dazai: Ah, old habits die slowly 😇
Atsushi: .. I do not understand
Dazai: good
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
Photo
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Tomura tries to copy Eraserhead’s style and inadvertently ends up looking like Nana
Art by Trevoshere
Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)
Part 1      Part 2
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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How to get back to life, with ✨style
~lil spoiler to the next episode~
Tomura: *dies and awakes*
Red-caped hero: wow 😱
Tomura: I’m cold.
Red-caped hero: 👀
Tomura:.. Nice cape there
..
Dabi: Hi boss, u awake! Where did ya get that cloth tho?
Tomura: I stole it from the hero I killed just yet.
Dabi: .. neat!
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Daily life in the Clouds
Madara x Akatsuki series
Madara, sitting peacefully and looking at a photo:
Nagato: What are you looking at like that? There are almost human emotions showing on your stone cold face
Madara: It’s a photo of me and Hashi
Nagato: Understandable, then.
Madara: I kinda like this one, we are looking good, yet there is a Toribama-sized problem at the background with it.
Nagato: Uhm.
Madara: Speaking of which, can’t you take him out?
Nagato: from the photo, on a date or with a gun?
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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Roadtrip
Chuuya: As much as I enjoy that you are not babbling the usual shit during the road, your quietness scares me.
Dazai: Uh-um.
Chuuya: Also you never keep the speed limit.
Dazai: Hnn.
Chuuya: ….
Dazai: ..
Chuuya: Are you sleeping while driving or what??
Dazai: Look slug, the road is waving
Chuuya: It’s freaking straight!
Dazai: It’s like an ocean!
Chuuya: YOU .. damn, how much drink did you have before getting into the car?
Dazai: What are you thinking about me, I do not drink when drive.
Chuuya: Then why are you hallucinating?
Dazai: It’s the drugs.
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tomuraxashes · 1 year
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But he said it out loud!
A.k.a. don’t use righteous ‘kill me’ phases when the Scorpion King is present, he might take it way too seriously
Random sect leader, arguing with Zhao Jing: Kill me if you dare!
*sect leader drops dead within the very second*
Zhao Jing: Xie’er..
Prince Xie, defensively: But Godfather he was basically asking for it!
Ngl, I just love his way of thinking 😌
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tomuraxashes · 2 years
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till mornin’
ZZH: Lao Wen, tomorrow we have to get up early, please go sleep at a reasonable time.
WKX: Sure thing A-Xu!
* Next day 4AM*
ZZH: Lao Wen, I can’t believe you actually listened and woke up! I am so glad..
WKX: Well… I am always joyful when you are in a good mood huh
ZZH:.. why do I smell alcohol and green tho?
WKX: Well you.. do have excellent senses I guess
ZZH: .. you just arrived home, don’t ya?
WKX: There was a party at the Valley and you know, I can’t just leave early huh..
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tomuraxashes · 2 years
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Dabi, singing: ‘Whatchu know bout rollin down in da deep..’
Tomura, passing by: Quite a lot.
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tomuraxashes · 2 years
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Tailed Beasts n happy endings
Canonical HashiMada convo
If placing this on a timeline, kinda around the 4th war, Madara still an Otsutsuki. AU.
Madara: Originally, I wanted to leave the tailed beast be. Live their own lives, chillin, not interacting with humans.
Hashirama: Yeah, sure.. you are just missing a Nine-tailed sized point there.
Madara: Yeah. Kurama is a different story. But he still had his freedom and stuff. And then • someone • came up with the great idea to collect them all, which would not be a problem, having the tailed beasts somewhere in the Fire Country, but no!
Hashirama: I wanted equality, that’s all.
Madara: Naturally. But instead of having them for us, you just gave up on Konoha’s upper hand by giving them away, one tailed beast for each bigger hidden village. And from your oh so desired peace and friendship with the villages, it just caused greed and war. More presumably, three.
Hashirama: I just really love how you blame me for things that happened after my ‘death’
Madara: It doesn’t matter you were alive or not at the moment, you fucked up, not to mention the whole jinchuuriki thing! You fucking took away the freedom of the tailed beasts!
Hashirama:.. so that justifies your fourth Shinobi war, I see.
Madara: That wasn’t my intention.. anymore. After I came back to life, just wanted my ~other halves~ being with me again.
Hashirama: your what?
Madara: Tailed beasts are pure chakra. More presumably, the Otsutsuki kind, as for them being born from the Chakra fruit which is.. you know. Me being an ‘Otsutsuki’ now, having the same chakra as the Sage had and the beasts have.. I kinda feel them and stuff. So you know.. them being locked in a human and suffering, I felt that as well.
Hashirama: Wow, never thought about this - anyhow, what now?
Madara: I have more than enough of this world, so I guess I move a planet, with all of the tailed beasts, and live a peaceful life without humans.
Hashirama: .. Sure, you are an Otsutsuki god now. Well, good luck and stuff, I -
Madara: Yup.
Hashirama: What?
Madara: You can come. Didn’t you want to ask that?
Hashirama: Ehm.. well.. yeah,
Madara: I know. Let’s just go and leave all this behind for a while.
Hashirama: Happy ending?
Madara: We deserve that shit.
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