thoughtfulmarguerite
unspoken thoughts
she/her • creative writing for me to express thoughts I do not wish to say to anyone
37 posts
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my suffering isn't beautiful
but my survival is.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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I never related to Meg March when she said, "Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn't mean they're unimportant," until my dreams started not matching up with anyone I've met in my life.
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Sometimes writing helps when I'm having an existential crisis. I placed my thoughts down and it helped. Hopefully this helps you too.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#love#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#nosce te ipsum#cogito ergo sum#philosophy#existensialism#existential#existence#renee descartes
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"You are the one person who knows yourself the best," they say. I respectfully disagree.
As a human, I have limited amount of knowledge. I am not gifted with the ability to think the way that gods do. I only know what I have experienced, what I have concluded, and what I have learned. Yet, as fragile as my human brain is, I know that we are composed of memories. I am the sum of the memories I make with those I interact with. Some memories are crisp and filled with flavor, like a juicy apple for those I communicate with regularly.
To those I have lost contact with, recollections of me may be gathering dust in the corners of their brain. Perhaps they dust it off occasionally, blowing and wiping off the grime, like a long-lost book when someone mentions my
name.
My intellect is delicate compared to the powers that be. However, my mental capacity, like my physical capacity, is finite. Because my intellect and body are limited, my senses can deceive me and convince me of things I am not. My own and others' perceptions of me can provide answers to the question of who I am. I am everything for some and nothing for others, yet I most definitely exist. To reflect on our existence, we must first know ourselves.
Nosce te ipsum.
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While I doubt the purpose of my existence,
my breathing, and the tension between my furrowed brows as I type, is evidence that I exist.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#love#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia
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I am a mosaic of every important person I have encountered in my life. I am a sum of fragments. I am the child of recollections and influences that other people have left with me. I am a footprint created by a multitude of choices made by those who came before me. Yet while I carry their genetics, it is I who builds on my soul.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#love#soft academia
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I think we deserve to have one last chapter in each other's lives for us to decide if we want to have more or stop here completely.
Just one. Please.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#love#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#fate#destiny
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I'm trying to keep my heart open despite how hurt I am but it's just so so hard. Being a lover girl, choosing to love no matter what, not holding grudges, giving people countless chances- god, it is so tiring. But at the same time I don't have it in me to hold anger. I'm so conflicted.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#love#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia
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Apathy? The belief that the less I care, the better?
No, thank you.
I love vulnerability. I love to care. I love to be open. I love to wear my heart on my sleeves. I love to love. I may have been hurt because I'm too open about my sentiments yet I'm proud that I'm still soft despite the rough patches I've gone through. I am and forever will be a lover girl.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#lover girl#apathy#love#coquette
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So ironic how I love to dwell in pain as much as I want to run away from it
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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I held on to the feeling of loving them while the rest of my life was falling apart, but it still kept me from completely falling apart though. It hurt me to stay. It hurt to love, but it saved me from completely falling apart.
Holding on to the love I had for someone was the glue that kept me from completely putting everything to an end.
Love was what kept me going, even if it was just for a short time.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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What i realized about myself is that i always tend to help people love the parts of themselves that society has taught them not to love; that they're deserving of love no matter what their past, present, or future is. And i love doing it. I love seeing people's faces as they come to these realizations. It's a beautiful sight.
I love seeing people fall in love with themselves.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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I was scrolling through my 2021 diary because I wasn't having a good day. I was hoping that my previous entries would make me feel better, but they only made me feel worse.
On September 7, 2021, I wrote that I prayed to God for the gift of life, grateful for the opportunity to see what it has to offer. I noticed tear stains on the pages and remembered how grateful I was to the point of crying that day.
What's sad is that...
Just today, hours ago, I prayed to God, crying, begging him to take me. It's September 8, 2022 today.
What are the odds?
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism#this is a cry for help.
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I'll be taking a break from making my usual posts and I'm asking everyone to please help boost this please! Thank you so much 🥺
CALL FOR HELP AND DONATIONS:
We are humbly asking for help, financially and in words of prayer for our father, Teodoro Pasco. He is currently admitted at North General Hospital as he suffered a heart attack and the doctors found that he has Aortic Stenosis. The possible procedures for this are leaning towards invasive treatment and we were informed that this would cost around P3,000,000-P5,000,000 depending on the extent and severity and we are trying to collate funds to save up for this, however we are far from the actual goal amount.
Some of you may know that my dad was admitted last month due to severe pneumonia, and the hospital bills have crippled us. I am knocking on your kind hearts for your help and prayers. During this hurdle, your generosity would be a huge help to us.
For your donations, you may send it thru GCash or BPI or Remitly/Xoom. Any amount will be of huge help to us. Thank you in advance and may God bless you! 🙏
GCASH:
Maria Marsha Pasco
09173671140
BPI Savings:
Maria Marsha Pasco
1739 4111 45
#marguerite.txt#aortic stenosis#donations#boost#up#classic academia#chaotic academic aesthetic#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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I'm envious of people who don't read or watch period pieces because they'll never understand what it's like to relate to Jo March when it comes to love. Being blind in love at first, then realizing it's too late to find the love she's always desired.
#cant believe i experienced my first heartbreak today. i was so goddamn blind#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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I know that past baby me would be proud of how I turned out but present me isn't. As much as I know that past me would be proud of me for being the person I wished to be years ago, I'm still frustrated I'm not the person I want to be right now.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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You took the moonlight with you when you left. Now I have no light left to fill the void I feel when I'm left in the darkness.
#chaotic academic aesthetic#classic academia#cottage academia#creative writing#dark academia#dead academia#grey academia#literature#soft academia#symbolism
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