List of duaas

1. Ya Allah grant me the companionship of Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, his family and the Sahaba's in Jannathul Firdous al 'áala.

2. Ya Allah make me and my family from amongst the sabiqoon you mention of in Surah Al Waqi'ah. Let the light of our imaan emanate from our chest and from our right hand side.

3. Ya rabb, make me of those who are patient and obedient to You and to my parents.

4. Ya Allah make me of the few You love, You Pardon and You shade on a Day when there is no shade but from Your Majestic Arsh.

5. Oh my Lord, increase me in Yakeen and Tawakkul in you. Let there be no doubt in my belief in Your Oneness, Your Majesty and Power.

6. Ya Rahman, shower your Mercy upon me and save me from disgrace on the Day of Reckoning.

7. Ya Allah Al Wali - The Protecting Friend, protect us from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise, and eyes that have forgotten how to cry.

8. Ya Allah, increase me in Sadaqa-e- Jariya. May the legacy of my good deeds be never-ending.

9. Ya Rabb, perfect my Deen and my Worship. Save me from Faahisha and let me complete half of my Deen with someone whose heart is attached to you.

10. Ya Allah accept my good deeds and increase me in reward and Your Mercy. Wipe away my sins and pardon me completely.

11. Ya Allah, when I die, let my soul and my record of Deeds be with the Illiyeen. Grant me and my loved ones shade under your throne when there will be no shade but yours.

12. Ya Allah grant me, my parents, and family guidance, steadfastness and increase us in Imaan and taqwa. Keep me and my loved ones away from major and minor sins and from everything that earns your displeasure.

13. Ya Razaq increase me in my love for You and Your Prophet sallallähu 'alayhi wa sallam.

14. Ya Jabbar forgive me and my loved ones and increase us in Your Blessings and Provisions.

15. Ya Khaliq lead me to more opportunities to do good and seeking Your Pleasure. Help me expand my knowledge with sincerity and ikhlas.

16. Ya Wahhaab, Purify my intentions for Your Sake alone and let me not show off or take false pride. Save me from arrogance, pride, showing off and reminding of favors.

17. Oh my Creator and Sustainer, do not leave me alone. Bless me with a righteous spouse and children who will be the coolness of our eyes. Fill our hearts with a pure love that is pleasing to you. Bless us with spouses who will guide us towards your pleasure and with whom we will spend an eternity in Jannatul firdous al'aala.

18. Oh my Lord, make me of those who are patient and obedient to You and to my parents.

19. Ya Latfeef, save me from the Fitnah of Dajjal. And save me from becoming a fitna for others

20. Ya Ghafoor, save me and my loved ones from the punishment of the grave and the punishment of the Hell Fire.

I’ve listened to her story months ago and the heart fills with sadness every time I remember it.

muhabbat ka sabsy afzal tareen darja yeh hai k tum us shaqas ki khushi ki tamanah karo yeh janty hoye k tum us shaqas ki khushi nahi ho.

At the intersection of hundreds of roads, people accidentally meet, not knowing that their whole past life was a preparation for this encounter.

it’s so insane to me that most of the people you meet in life are just passing moments. you’ll know them for a brief period of time before they’re a stranger again and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it because that is just how it’s meant to be..

At the end of the day, are you your own worst enemy or a friend to yourself ? Are you talking yourself down, or are you comforting your hurt feelings ? Do you repeat the mean things people say to you or do you find nice words for yourself ? It matters. What you say, what you think about yourself, it matters, it shapes your reality, and this year, let's all make an effort to make that reality a little more supportive, a little more gentle.

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

Processing pain grief

Listen. Listen to me. Just because 2022 is over it does not mean you have to move on. You still have to process grief. You have to process the heartbreak from all the things that didn’t become, from the things you wanted so damn religiously, from the things you got a taste of before being exiled from them so ruthlessly. Just because the calendar year has changed it does not mean all that heartbreak and loss has been processed and neatly stored away to be opened years later for some writing inspiration. Don’t confuse it, though. Processing grief from before does not mean that you don’t live in the present, in the moments that are now. You do, you absolutely do. I won’t lie, it is confusing more now than ever before. I have become so good at intellectualizing my emotions that I do it all the time and it feels the same as processing them and feeling them. Feeling. Remember? Remember what that used to be like? I don’t. I can speak so well about it all and I can write so articulately about it all but feeling? What is that supposed to be like? Crying? Breaking? Shouting? Throwing? Cutting? Slapping? No, no, no, no, no, no. NO. It used to be something freeing. Someday, soon, perhaps, you will feel again. Until then, hold on. Hold on to yourself. Hold on to the fact that there was a time you knew yourself, a time when you understood yourself, and a time when you were a person of your words. A time when everything you said was not mocked by everything you did. A time when you were emotionally available, to the world, yes, but to yourself. You for yourself. For you. Hold on. It’s not like you moisturize your hands anyway so like your grip should be strong enough.

What it means to go easy on yourself

When you are having a hard time, the way you can go easy on yourself is by allowing yourself to be instead of trying to find answers to everything right away and fix things as if there are instant solutions to such deep-rooted problems and patterns.

Going easy on yourself does not mean indulging in self-destructive behaviour that will make you feel good for maybe a few hours or desperately seeking instant gratification in any way and form you can find. 

It means not jumping to conclusions or thinking too deeply or forcing yourself to figure it all out. It means eating well, getting enough sleep, brushing your hair, and having fruit.

It means laughing with a friend, going for a walk or lying down on the cool marble floor in Shavasana. It means constantly filling your bottle of water and carrying it everywhere with you and reading good books the ones that give you some comfort and leave you with a sense of warmth and hope.

It means engaging yourself in things that allow you to breathe a little better as you do all the functional things life is demanding out of you, like work and chores. 

Going easy on yourself during such times means you don’t take yourself so seriously because that is the quickest way to skinny dip in rabbit holes and camp there for extended periods. It also means that you say no to things and people who make you feel anxious, conscious, and uneasy. Yes, you should step out of your comfort zone and push yourself and all that but there is a time and place for that. And when you’re feeling such heaviness of being, that is not it. 

Not demanding more from yourself, not caving into the demands of others, not using your sadness and pain as an excuse to fall back on maladaptive coping mechanisms, not getting existential about everything — that’s what it means to go easy on yourself. So, please, do go easy.

learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

There are just some wounds that apologies don't heal but Waseem Barelvi described it in a beautiful way; "nigaahon ke takaaze chain se marne nhi dete//yahan manzar hi aise hai ki dil bharne nhi dete" and i think we can relate to that

Look at that flower. It's not doing anything extra to be pleasing to you. It's beautiful just because it's here.

Look at that painting. It's not doing anything to be appealing to you. It reminds you of something nice just because it's here.

Look at the moon. It has spots and it keeps going through phases. It's not doing you any personal favours. You still love looking at it just because its here.

Look at the stars. They are so far away and you only see them twinkle. You still love gazing at them just because they are here.

Look at the sun. You can't live without it even if on some days its heat is scorching. You still love the days when its heat is the best feeling on your skin. Just because it's here.

I promise, somebody looks at you and finds you beautiful, gets reminded of nice times, loves looking at you, loves gazing at you and chooses to love you despite the bad days (and so much more) just because you're here, I promise. Human beings are naturally loving creatures. Maybe that someone is from the past, maybe that someone is from the present, maybe that someone is from the future or maybe that person will be you one day. But you have to keep existing to find out.

Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

Chod Diya Hai

Jazbaato ko humne kaabu me rakhna seekh liya hai,Jabse humne unki mehfeelo me jaana chod diya hTaareefo ke pull bohot baandhe the humne unkeAb to zubaan pe naam lena hi humne band sa kar diya hai.

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One of the saddest, hardest moments of your life will be when you are crying and screaming to the world pleading for a sign.

A sign that you should stay alive for one more day, maybe a couple of days.

But that sign doesn’ t come. You stare at your phone thinking maybe someone will answer or someone will text you asking if you’re okay. You search endlessly for some reason to stay alive but you can’t find any.

That is probably the most heartbreaking moment when you can’t find any reason to stay alive when you need it most because you suddenly feel all this pain and you feel more alone than you’ve ever felt in your entire life.

That moment will break you and I don’t wish it on even my worst enemies.