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We’re not making it out of this one
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when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance
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pink in the night
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tired: mermaids are all women
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
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I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 
“A scam” people are fucking wild.  
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Just found this old digital spy article from 2005, rip David Tennant guess that didn't work out for you 😭
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video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"
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There'll be a post like, "ableism is bad" and all the comments will be "yeah! Ableists are all sociopaths and narcissists!" "Ableists all live in their moms basements and don't contribute anything to society!"
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Every now and then I remember that my dad is a canon Gigolas truther and I’m like slay…
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calvin and hobbes is my favorite comic strip ever
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I miss when most people in lefty queer feminist circles understood why "not all men" is stupid annoying and missing the point
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Where's that post about "screw yearning, where's the music for gay women who FUCK" anyway Chappell Roan. You want Chappell Roan
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80s thasmin AU for some reason
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80s thasmin AU for some reason
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You guys know how to travel in a car with your canes, right? You know where to put them so they don’t kill you in an accident? You’re not just holding them on your lap?
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EVERYBODY WAKE UP THE COMMIE DOCTORS ARE UNIONISING
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