Tumpik
tezret · 3 days ago
Text
Riddle: Ace, you have to stop jaywalking
Ace: Don’t mess me with that gay shit
Riddle: WHATS GAY, THE LAW?!
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tezret · 16 days ago
Conversation
*Waves hands around crystal ball* I see a concussion in your future!
Epel: I’ll beat you up. *cracks knuckles*; you smell like blueberry muffins; I ain’t afraid
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
He Couldn’t Open The Jam Lid
Crowley, holding a coconut: Something brought you here, Yuu.
Crowley, getting ready to list off all of his problems whilst standing in a luxury suite: Call it what you want. Fate, destiny…
Yuu, exhausted: A mirror.
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
A Greasy Fellow
Riddle: Idia we need- AUGH! What is that smell!? *plugs nose*
Idia: Um, it’s just my room.
Riddle: It smells awful!
Idia: I don’t smell anything- *sniffs his armpit*… as I said, nothing.
Riddle: that’s because YOU ARE THE SMELL!
Riddle, crossing his arms: what have you been doing the past 2 week’s?
Idia: uh, let’s see… I finished Battle Cross 111, beat level 55 to 367 in Pom-Pom Revenge, repaired my Pc, got some SSR’S in a multitude of gacha games, gave Ortho some upgrades and um-…
Riddle: Showering? Did you shower?
Idia: what? No. I just told you I haven’t left my room for the past 2 weeks so of course not- oh. Ohh.
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Lilia Lost The Fight
Ruggie on the phone with Jamil: He’s in the kitchen again…
Lilia, in the background reading a recipe: “Beat three eggs.” In what? Hand-to-hand combat?
Jamil: GET. HIM. OUT.
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Sir, this is a McDonald’s
Vil, since his white noise machine broke: Rook, could you please make ocean noises so I can go to sleep.
Rook, sitting on a chair next to Vil’s bed: Woosh, hoaaa~ ckkkuu
Vil: a French beach
Rook: …
Rook: le wooosh??
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Lilia’s fellow soldier: Um, Vanrouge… there are active war games going on out here. It’s incredibly dangerous.
Younger Lilia, cocky: So?
Soldier: It means you can’t sit on the battlefield you dingus
Lilia: We’ll Marcus — you look like a Marcus —, when you have a collapsible chair, you can sit wherever you like
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
The World Is Burning And They Bring Tea
Heartslabyul Resident A, being sarcastic during Riddle’s overblot as Riddle chases people: Do you think we went overboard with the party decorations?
Heartslabyul Resident C as Riddle throws a tree at someone whilst everything is on fire: Nah, it’s cool.
Heartslabyul Resident B: Everything is on fire and people are severely injured! And- and shit is floating!!
Heartslabyul Resident C: Aesthetic. *watches as a rose bush hits Trey*
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Jade, googling: What to do if a snake bites you?
Google: Elevate and apply pressure.
Jade, lifting OB!Jamil up high: Apologize or your tongue will be on the floor.
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Stinky Crow Man
Crowley: I am a responsible adult, i am mature.
Later…
Crowley, sobbing: Crewel! One of the students called me a little stinky crow man!
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
REMEMBER THE BUNNY EARS
Vil:i don't get on my knees to anyone.
Jack: Nobody?
Vil: Of course not, look at my outfit, look at the expensive pants, the high end fabrics, i would never kneel to anyone.
You/Reader, giving Vil “the face”: Vil… I need help tying my shoes
Vil, quickly getting onto his knees on the sidewalk: Of course honey.
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
BoInG
Doctor: Time to test your reflexes.
Floyd, not knowing what the fuck is going on: *dodges little knee hammer*
Doctor, under his breath: holy shit
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Paper Cut = Lawsuit
You/Reader, who just got a paper cut: Agh-
Leona: *snorts* Dumbass
Later…
Crowley: So, you, Leona Kingscholar, think NRC, should ban paper?
Leona: It’s dANGEROUS
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
hm, yes, batshit crazy is on the menu today I see?
Yuu, digging a hole, then bringing out a small box, putting that box into a larger box; continues to lock that box with a key, and then throws key into the distance: *places box in hole*
Jack standing over Yuu as they are now filling their dirt hole: what are you doing?
yuu, patting the dirt: It’s mental health awareness month, Jack.
Jack: ...
Yuu, staring intensely at the dirt before them while crouching: Ya’ll are about to be VERY aware
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tezret · a month ago
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Tumblr media
Apologies
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Sucks This Di-
Silver: Hey… Where’s Sebek?
Lilia: Not to worry, I’ll find him.
Lilia, using a megaphone: MALLEUS SUCKS!
Sebek, who just entered Diasomnia and is now on a hunt for whoever said that: SIR MALLEUS IS THE ULTIMATE BEING! Fuck you!
Lilia, smiling to himself: Found him~
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tezret · a month ago
Conversation
Swivel Chair Accidents
You/Reader, sneaking into Scarabia at 2am:
Jamil, turning around in swivel chair: Care to tell me where you were?
You/Reader: I was with… uh… -Kalim!
Kalim, also turning around in a swivel chair: Care to- *keeps spinning* Jamil- I- I can’t stop the chair- Jamil! *panic*
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