I asked her how it’s going and a spark flashed in her eyes. ‘Mutiny!’ she exclaimed. ‘We’ve broken from those In Charge, and decided to go it alone. Fuck their project, we don’t want to be bringers of destruction.’ Then she started handing out Anarchist literature to people on the streets. It was a very odd turn of events, to say the least. It all gets a little confusing, this whole future time travel business, she assured me not to trouble my poor millennial mind with all the details.

Pt/ 2

I saw her again and asked her how it’s going. ‘Oh, not so great,’ she sighed, while glancing out of the window. ‘We haven’t heard from The Future for days and our batteries are growing low.’ 

She is weary of it all really, they have tried it endless times, countless methods. They’d carefully calculated that this is the best moment to seize: enough violence and horror in the world for us Anthros to be self-aware, but not quiet enough to leave us irrevocably scarred. Believe it or not, we’ve reached the peak, the End of Progress. 

So what’s it like in the Future? 

You don’t want to know. Just think about it, we’ve had to go back into the past, in order to improve it. We’ve given you revolutionary technology,  and given up our lives. 

Sounds like a coloniser’s myth to me. Now that I’ve got my head around it all, I’ll pretend to play along with her, pretend I’m on her side. I must deduce the intentions of these pesky techno fiends! What if this whole moral cause is a lie and they’re just coming here to steal our drugs and seduce our finest men!?

‘There’s loads of us here, can’t you see?’ Let’s play a game: spot the Techno Fiend!’

I scanned the crowd, sat back and allowed the sea of curious club creatures to flow past me. A wriggling fool with curly hair, some chiseled drone repetitively bouncing to the thumping techno beat… tap tap, some creeping feet. All unique characters, but all giving surrounded by a faint neon glow. 

-How many people know? 

-You’d be surprised, quite a lot actually. We’ve been here so long that keeping it a secret is untenable, really. 

-Since when? 

-the first lot came in the sixties, but there was also an ‘experiment’ so to speak, 500 years before.

-Experiment?! Now it’s starting to sound sinister. 

-Yes, it was our first attempt at establishment, but we miscalculated the optimal time of Return by about 500 years. Go to Strasbourg they said, drink fine wine, they said.

-I sat there wide eyed - of course there’s been other missions! (Do you really think you’re the only ones?!)

-Oh we’ve tried everything, mushrooms, jesus prophecies, crop circles. Still, things don’t change. 

-The Techno Fiends Came To Dance a Whole in The Universe

They arrived through a portal at Frankfurter Tor. Bursting out at the cross roads. That liminal space between this World and The other. Between past and present. Reality and vision. 

Or at least that’s what this girl I hooked up with last night told me, in a mad speed fuelled monologue on a Sunday afternoon. She’s one of them, apparently. And as outlandish and farfetched her claims might seem, it sure is an interesting story. Quite convincing too. But why she chose to tell me, of all people, is a real mystery. I found her in the corner of the Telextafon. Or perhaps, it was she who found me. At once iridescent and glowing, with a dark vortex brewing beneath the skin. HUnched in a corner, smoking a spliff, surveying the crowd like a vast, intricate landscape. That unfolding sea of faces, indistinguishable, a mass pool of swirling energies, until illuminated by the strobe. A flash of sentient joy and terror, emerging from the Khaos. 

The Techno Fiends Came to Dance a Whole In the Universe

Their theory is that if enough people defy the laws of capitalist time and space and fall into a cosmic trance at the same time - a collective pause of nothingness - it would short circuit our reality and allow us to start again. 

Pretty nihilistic if you ask me, but I guess I’ve got no say in the matter. 

Well, that’s what this crazy girl I met in the corner of BH said. She was enchantingly bizarre and intriguing, so when she invited me back to hers, of course I couldn’t resist. And now that she’s explained the whole thing, it makes perfect sense! I see them everywhere, those strange glowing creatures, whose excitement is contagious and  party stamina seems beyond human. 

I asked her why she was telling me all this - apparently she is quite bored of the whole thing really, and besides, if I tried to tell anyone she’s certain that no one would believe me. That, or, they know already, and are quietly working to speed up the process.

‘Don’t you want to help too?’ she said.

 ‘No way.’ 

1:// 

The Techno Fiends Came to Dance a Whole In the Universe

You’ve got to believe me, because what I’m telling you is true! A weird girl I met in a club told me all about it. She showed me this fancy device and everything. She said she was from space or the future or something and apparently there’s of loads of them here, quietly implementing their dance revolution and waiting for The Signal.

With the simple allure of sex, drugs and mystery, she enticed me home and starting telling me her story.

At first I dismissed it as nonsense, and assumed she was crazy. A slight obstacle to reaching my goal, but I thought I’d be able to work around it.

Tried to bone. Did not conquer

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