Heads Up Everyone.

Hello my loves, 

It’s been a couple of years since I last posted on here, and to be honest I thought I would never return. I’m not saying that I’m returning to post continuously. This is just a one time thing. A lot of things has happened since I was last here:

turned eighteen 

officially in my last year of high school 

applied for University 

had my first boyfriend lol 

Just a lot of small things that add up to who I am now. The reason why I am posting is because I want to warn a lot of you guys. I’m not sure how the community is holding up, but gosh it really is something else. It’s a whole new world. 

I am giving you guys a heads up because I came to the realisation that this seriously needs to stop, and yes I know I was in it and I understand your perspective, but I also experienced something I wish I didn’t. 

A week ago a rumour was leaked throughout my entire school amongst others from other schools and former students of my college. Long story short a friend of mine ‘caught’ a classmate of mine and a teacher hugging, but from their perspective it seemed as if they were doing something else. A couple days later news of this incident spread across the school. Every single inch of the school including all of my classes would talk nothing, but of what happened. Even though the rumour was false - I could not believe what I was seeing or hearing. The things that people said was absolutely horrible. The way their minds worked to twist the story around, their hypothesis, and just small things that extended the rumour. Bare in mind both victims of the rumour are in a relationship with other people so not only were the student and teacher victimised, but so were their significant other. 

When I first heard about this - all I could think was: 

“Holy sh*t. This could’ve been me.” 

Nobody, and I truly mean nobody supported the idea of the rumour regardless of it being false. It was continuous sh*t talk, and it got to the point where it spread across social media, and there are now a large handful of memes being made for the sake of it. A week has passed, and it is dying down but no one can ever look at the victims the same ever again. I have never seen anyone so distraught than those who were involved in this situation.  

All I can say is please please please be careful. I don’t know what your situation is with the tc community, but for the love that is all in me please be careful. I don’t want anyone to go through what my friends and the teacher have gone through. If you can get out of the situation as quick as you can. It will be painful and heartbreaking I know, but coming from someone who watched all this happen and is no longer in this community...it truly is for the best. I’m not going to lie - I thought I would never find someone else to be happy with, but I met my first boyfriend (well actually I’ve known him for my whole life, but when I met him romantically) it changed all of my perspectives on the idea of love. 

There is hope it just might not be him. 

Lots of love, 

Be careful xx 

Final Goodbye.

Hello to my amazing fellows, 

If you’ve been following this account for some time then you would know the story behind this account and why I made it in the first place. This blog was for me to share my stories because you guys are the only ones who understand me, and a way for me to connect with so many others and for you guys to united. 

If you did not know, last year in November, my teacher crush left my school to continue his teaching career in another school. Since then I have only spoken to him via email a few times and have not seen him in seven months. 

There is something that I did not share with you all. On Thursday 22nd June (yesterday) I met up with my teacher crush, along with two of my best friends after school for tutoring because we really needed help for exams. I had a week to prepare myself for the reunion, it caused many nights of me staying up, many anxiety attacks and many what ifs. All I can say in a ‘short’ form is that it was not what I expected. He wasn’t what I expected. Others may have found him the same but personally, he was not the person that I knew. Everything about him has changed. He didn’t even say hi. Throughout the entire two hours of tutoring, it was pure awkwardness between us and whenever we made eye contact, one of us would look away. The expression he gave me was pure empty. He looked as if he did not want to see me, he looked as if he did not know me, it seemed as if he threw everything we had away. Amongst all of that, I found out from him that he has a girlfriend and honestly, I’m 100% happy for them, they deserve each other but other than that..it just hurt to be around him. You know when you hang out with someone and you think “never again”. That is pretty much how I felt the entire time. I needed to get out but I couldn’t as I needed the help. When we went to say goodbye, he gave all of us a hug individually but when it came to my turn, we both had this “do I really want to hug you?” type of aura, we ended up hugging and I didn’t even say thank you or bye like the others did. Rude I know but I just could not put myself out there, and unfortunately this won’t be the last time I will see him. The tutoring sessions will continue till my exams which is in November.  

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about this account. Obviously I have not been active as I used to be, this entire thing constantly pains me. No I am not deactivating this account but I will no longer be active. I want to keep this account up and running so many more fellow student lovers will be able to read my stories, my happiness and sorrows. I am so sorry to be doing this, this account holds everything that I could not tell him. My one last advice is prepare yourself, that is all I can say. I wish I told myself that earlier, I knew this was going to happen but I never thought it would hurt so badly. 

I love you all so so so much. Thank you for the amazing conversations, posts, stories and your beautiful souls. Keep dreaming and keep loving. 

- Jennifer. 

(yes I have finally decided to tell you all my name) 

imagine 😻

💙UPDATE💙 (all of this is important, so pls read it all)

where do I begin, you guys?? SO MUCH has happened in these short months before summer break. as you all know (or maybe you didn’t), I graduated and am officially in college now & W is a FORMER teacher of mine whom I am currently helping over the summer & a little bit during school. W is an agriculture teacher and runs the Ag club in my high school and it’s really active, so he works all year long and has students in his classroom all year preparing for competitions or studying. okay, now that this is settled, let’s get into the juicy stuff💦 my heart is literally POUNDING right now!!!

okay, so, last week I was sitting at the dining room table working on something when my dad comes in the kitchen and says, “Hey, Tay, I saw one of your old teachers at the grocery store today.” I replied with, “Yeah? Which one?” I was thinking he meant like an elementary school teacher or something. My dad said, “I can’t remember his name.. it was your agriculture teacher.. W! That’s it! He spoke very highly of you. He said you were a special girl, one of his best students.” I LITERALLY FLIPPED INSIDE. W COULD HAVE FREAKING GAVE US AWAY (I mean, I don’t know what we are???) BUT!!! 😬 I texted him later that night and thanked him for the compliment but I also asked him to never speak to my dad again😂 it’s the most awkward feeling ever.

the second week of May, I celebrated the nearing to summer break with a group of friends at some frozen yogurt place in my town. it was me and four other girls & we are all really clothes friends so we obviously tell each other almost everything when it comes to boys and all that. the other girls were talking about their crushes (and some of them, their boyfriends), but I wasn’t staying anything because you know, I don’t want to tell them anything about W & I because that would be a stupid move! they kept pressing on me, but I resisted &I eventually went to the bathroom to kinda escape the awkwardness for a little bit and also check out my lipstick situation after that froyo😂. when I came back, they were ALL staring at me. I was like, “what? is there something in my hair?” then Manda, my best friend out of all of them, held up my phone and said, “who’s __(W’s first name)__?”

I kid you not I almost screamed and ran away because I was so embarrassed and so scared that they would find the correlation between this name and W’s being the same! I was like, “______? he’s just a guy that I was talking to. I’m not sure if I like him that much. we’re not dating or anything, just talking..” THANKFULLY, that was enough to keep them off me😅

the last thing that I’m going to be including in this update is the biggest and has the most importance. (phew, okay, I can do this!!)

W called me and asked if I wanted to go out with him and ride around and just talk. I told my moms I was going out for a drive and met W in a parking lot. he is literally the hottest person I’ve ever met in my entire life & the sweetest &I the strongest. ugh, I’m drooling😛

we rode down back roads and on highways with the windows down & the music blasting on some oldie radio station with W singing the ones he knew. I literally have the best time with him. I hunk I could talk to him for hours without an end, he’s perfect.

towards the end of the night, he parked in some gravel that was in front of a big, green pasture & opened the sun roof so that we could watch the sunset. we sat there until the stars came out. somewhere during the night, W turned to me and he said, “Taylor, you are the purest girl I have ever met. Pure in that you are pure beautiful, funny, loving, active.. I’m so glad that I got the chance to know you better. I don’t deserve you.”

then, he unbuckled his seatbelt, leaned in closer to me, and he KISSED ME. W, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL CAREER AND THEN SOME, PLACED HIS LIPS ON MINE😭❤️

he’s such a good kisser, too. the kiss was slow, sweet, sensual..too perfect.

CHASE YOUR DREAMS. THEY CAN HAPPEN. ✨

Hi honey, do you take imagine requests? :)

I do take imagine requests! They are currently open xo

attractive teacher: you will be giving an oral presentation

me: hell yeah I will

I Miss You.

I miss you and I think about you all the time. 

I miss you and I want you to be here with me. 

I miss you and I thought I would have moved on from you by now. 

Wednesday 14th June 2017. Seven months since I last saw you and within these seven months I thought I would have already found someone. Found someone to fill that fragile spot that you took away with you when you left. Found someone to brighten my day and fill me with happiness, laughter and joy. 

But all I found was constant pain, sorrow, distressed and hopelessness. 

Today was possibly one of the most hardest days since you left. Probably the first time in seven months since I broke down. Probably the first time in seven months where I miss you dearly. Remember when you emailed me saying you wanted to meet up? Well what happened to that? What happened to meeting up after school? What happened to catching up? What happened...to you? 

I miss you and I think about you all the time. 

I miss you and I want you to be here with me. 

I miss you and I thought I would have moved on from you by now.

I miss you but I want to forget about you. 

Me: I’m like so totally over my tc. I don’t even think about him anymore. He’ll be there and I won’t even care. My friends:

Important

- I didn’t ask for this. - I didn’t want this. - it’s not fun. - it’s not worth the experience. - I’d give everything to make these feelings go away or even fade.

- It’s nothing but pure pain. Every. Single. Day.

Me: *makes sarcastic jokes*

TC: *makes sarcastic jokes back*

Me: we're practically married

“You are my ‘could have been’.”

-six-word story (via writersxanonymous)

My heart is so tired.

Markus Zusak, The Book Thief (via wordsnquotes)

When another girls calmly flirting with him and then he friendly laughs with them, i just want to kill EVERY-fucking-BODY IN THAT CLASSROOM goddammitughhhh i’m furious!

It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. (via thequotejournals)

our convos

if he starts...

him: hey uhh *mumble mumble*

me: sorry what??

him: *more mumbling*

me: yeah

if i start...

me: uh hey um *stutter* *mumble*

him: sorry what??

me: *louder mumbling*

him: say it again?

me: *MUMBLE MUMBLR STUTTER STUTTER*

him: *mumble*

me: yeah

I love him he’s so cute