The its my life video is prwtty close to thos actually

Bon Jovi was performing on the streets of a Middle Eastern country but instead of singing, Jon just ranted. At one point he made an insensitive joke about a dead celebrity so we all booed him.

If the doggo be confused:

No its aluminum not free steel estate

Ragnar @ whatever I'm holding in my hands at any given time: it's free meal estate

Going with my previous post-

How long ago did the "randy your sticks" thing happen????

#this is what you see after crashing through a vegtable stand and that cat yowl

To be honest i have no clue how this tumblr thing works I came because the screenshots on pinterest were amusing and contained an energy i haven't found anywhere else. But honestly, I am very confused how does this work how do you tell if people added to your posts???? How do those long text conversations happen???? How does John Green just find posts referencing him???? Where do anonamous asks come in???? What are tags???? How do things get LOST in the tags??? To quote another tumblr post this has been going terribly and i will be staying.

wow you’re the tumblr person

One of seven other tumblr people

Humans are weirdly obsessed with animal paws like if we were invaded by an alien species and they took us back to their planet where they kept us as pets so commonly that there was a whole market dedicated to human suplies and it was all named stuff like "food for feetsies" and they were obsessed with our little tenticle tipped appendages like that would be pretty weird, but thats exactly what we do with dogs and cats so

In this reality, you were closer to a celeb than the ground?

I asked Dwayne Johnson if I could chop him up because I wanted to make stone soup and he was the closest thing I could find.

Facebook is on thin fucking ice I swear

Rant time

So I don't have spotify premium because im poor and can't afford such luxuries in life, however facebook or "meta" as they've decided to copy right infringe has been putting up ads "campainging" for small-businesses^tm

And while this is great and all the way that they're doing this is by supporting facebook and instagrams ability to personalize ads, saying that without them small businesses wouldn't get as much publicity and that is bad. But like, how ironic is it that this giant dystopian nightmare of a company is trying to appeal to its user base with the tagline "its okay that we spy on you because it allows you to get slightly better publicity for that side hustle you've got going on because the economy is that fucked". Im sorry but maybe stop trying to justify spying on us at all??? Like just maybe??? People might trust you. . . more??? like wow zero thought went into that and meanwhile I'm over here listening to 9-5 waiting for my music to come back on like

Wow, what a nightmare

Rant over

Thinking about that time my boyfriend got so distressed by my being upset that he wrote a sonnet about it. . .

Like this man, who is this close to failing English accidentally wrote a sonnet

Pippin: What does coffee taste like? Aragorn: Unfortunately not as good as it smells Pippin: Ah, like shampoo

Shout out to my LD boyfriend who when reffering to his boner said "It's a surprise tool that will help us later" only to *then* realize he'd quoted Mickey mouse clubhouse y'all I've found the one

Pov: Recent discussion I had with my cousins about the downsides of invincibility.

Cousin 1: What if you needed a shot

Me: What about periods

Cousin 2: What if you had depression

Us :

The smallest kind of weasel is called the least weasel and honestly I love that so much because it acknowledges one of their most important traits. . . .that this is the least amount of weasel you can have.

Well this was a wild ride from start to finish. And it also happens to be the exact thing I came to tumblr for so. . . . . . . . . .

I saw the future. There were so few bees left that they cross-bred beekeepers with them so they could better connect with them.

I was taking a test to identify plants (I won because some dude thought pineapples were berries) and after that I met a beekeeper who worked inside of a giant glass beehive and had little antennas and a dope ass beard.

Cousins are such a weird thing like. they're not siblings??? but they totally could be??? they're like extensions of the sibs. . . . . spare siblings. . . . . . . . spiblings.