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#your roommate is like… does he even fit
theloveinc · 2 years
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You know what has been making me laugh recently? Pro-hero boyfriends spending the night at YOUR apartment…
Just have been imagining the shock on your roommate’s face when they leave their room and find Red Riot (with sex hair) digging through the fridge looking for a Gatorade. Peeking into your room to ask you a question but instead finding Dynamight taking a nap on your bed by your side.
Answering the door to Deku holding takeout, or even Shoto answering the door to them the one time they forget their keys and you were in the middle of cooking dinner.
LIKE LMAOOOOO I just… love this imagery so.
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luveline · 5 months
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hi bae, just wondering if you could write something like roommate!marauders and reader with anxiety where everytime one of them goes out she gets really worried that’s somethings gonna happen to them and waits up for them and just feels like a burden when she calls to make sure they’re alright and just general anxiety things and them being so sweet about it
love u
love u too♡
cw death related anxiety
“Hey, Remus?” you ask tentatively. 
Your housemate lays across the sofa with his dinner half eaten on the coffee table and a book tented on his chest. He's ignoring both in favour of the television, a rerun of Family Fortunes turning the sofa cushions and his pale skin a light blue. 
He drags his blue-tinged gaze from the subtitles to your frowning. “What's wrong?” he asks. You're surprised he heard you over the sound of Sirius’ stereo echoing down the stairs. 
“Where did James say he was going?” 
“I think he said he'd be at the gym for an hour now he's not in work. Want me to call him?” 
“Why would you call him?” you ask, instead of saying yes, please, like you want to. 
“You're worrying again.” 
They know how you are. It doesn't mean they have to understand —it isn't logical to think James is hurt because he hasn't been home today yet, and none of them are required to humour you in your worry, but they always do. 
You feel sick as he takes his phone from his pocket. You've convinced yourself that James is dead, that his car curled around a bend too quickly on the drive in the rain, or that something happened at the gym, or that he never made it there at all, had a fit in the car park outside of work. Even as you think it, you know it's implausible, unlikely, just a repetitive negative anxiety worming its way into your head, but you can't make it stop. 
James doesn't answer the first time, which doesn't help, and then when he does answer the second time you're waiting for bad news. Remus smiles as he talks. “Hello? Jamie?”
James doesn't need speak phone to be heard. “Remus! I'm at the gym, what's happening?”
Remus wrinkles his nose. “What's happening? Since when do you say that?”
“What's up?” James corrects. “I'm on my way out of the gym, can you talk? You can keep me company while I drive.” 
Remus holds out the phone to you. 
“Remus?” James asks into the room. You take the phone before he can hang up, and decide to be honest, but the words get stuck like toffee between your teeth. “Hello?” 
“Hey,” you say, sending Remus a grateful look. He moves over to make room on settee for you, and his arm wraps familiarly around your shoulders as you settle in. He turns his attention back to his show. 
“Oh my god hey, angel. Remus okay?” 
“I was making him ring you, sorry. I thought… you know what I'm like. It's getting late and you aren't home, and I know I don't have the right to pester you about where you are.”
“Yeah you do,” James says, his voice louder, like his mouth is very close to the microphone. “Course you do. I'd worry too if you weren't home yet.” 
“I do this all the time, though.”
Just last week he and Sirius were out late and you'd panicked that they'd both been hurt. You stayed up until almost one in the morning waiting for them to get home from a music shop in the city, each minute after eleven like a shot of ice water in your veins. Sirius jumped when he saw you waiting in the living room, but then he'd given you a hug and rubbed at your shoulders roughly. You didn't wait up for us, did you? 
“It's worse lately, yeah?” James asks. You hum non-committal, and Remus gives you a squeeze in typical Remus fashion. You hadn't even realised he was listening, but his support makes this easier. “You're worrying about us more.”
“Yeah,” you say. “I don't know why. And it sucks because I know it's making me a lot to deal with.” 
“I would one thousand percent prefer it if you rang me then sat there worrying. That would make me feel better. And Remus and Sirius feel the same way, okay? We could all stand to ring each other a bit more anyways.” 
You rub your nose into your hand. “Sorry,” you mumble. 
“There's no need to be. I love you, ‘n I just want you to be happy. If a phone call can make that happen then why shouldn't you do it? And it's not like they're a big imposition, I like talking to you. We all do.”
James is home from the gym what could only be ten minutes later, and he leans over the back of the settee to kiss your forehead chasely. “Here we are, all safe and well.” 
“You haven't seen Sirius yet,” Remus points out.
“I can bloody well hear him. What is he listening to? Is that U2?” James shakes his head in disgust. “I can see why you were so worried I wasn't coming home. Let me go put a stop to that immediately.” 
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daemour · 11 days
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Pairing: roommate! San x f! yn
Word Count: 10,664
Warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, smut warnings under cut
Genre: Angst, fluff, smut, f2l au, college au, M for mature audiences
Summary: As the resident fuckboy San's best friend, you're legally obligated to be his hype man. It's only fitting as you're one of the few who can resist his boyish charms. But when he's set his sights on someone you cannot stand, perhaps you need to dig a bit deeper into your feelings after all.
Smut Warnings: masturbation (f), voyeurism, sexual fantasies, oral (f), missionary, protected sex, very slight breast play, overstimulation, cowgirl, some cumplay, dirty dirty talk, fingering, slight body worship ig?, praise, I literally have no idea I wrote it at a time when I should've been in bed so lmk if I missed anything
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this is for the jackson wang party fic collab finished with @mingsolo (hella good) @flurrys-creativity (Pygalgia, Effervescent, and Abience) and @sanjoongie (trouble) <3 I still have one more to go but we'll ignore that LMAOOOOO I added too much plot :') flurry was a dear and helped me sort out my thoughts and I managed to write 8k of it in one day lol.
hope u all enjoy and sorry I'm a professional yapper there's no shutting me up
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“Going out again?” you ask your best friend and flatmate, San, as he walks past where you’re seated at the kitchen counter, suffering through your essays.
“Yep,” San answers easily, popping the ‘p’ and leaning over to take a peek at your laptop screen. “You misspelt ‘dextrorotatory’, you wrote it as ‘dexrotatory’.”
As your eyes find the typo, you groan and plant your head on the table. “I give up,” you declare dramatically, “I’ll drop out and become a taxi driver.”
San laughs. “First of all, you can’t drive that well. Second of all, you’d make more money as a stripper.” He dodges your smack with ease. “Third, you’re smart and you’ll ace these like always. You’re just a little mentally constipated. Why don’t you join me tonight?”
You think about it for a minute. While you probably do need a break from staring at your laptop, you know how wild the parties San goes to can get from personal experience. And you don’t think it’s a good idea when it's the end of your semester and the final year of your master's program. You just can’t afford to do that. “I’ll pass this time,” you sigh. “Maybe after exam season.”
San hums. “All right. Make sure to take a break, though,” he reminds you, dropping a quick kiss on the top of your head. “See you later.”
He soon disappears out of the door and you turn your focus away from your best friend to your homework. You feel bad for whoever his new conquest will be at the party.
In your opinion, it’s best to keep San at arm’s length when it comes to a romantic relationship. Not that you like him, but you also don’t want to be another notch on his bedpost, and you most certainly do not want to ruin your eight-year-long friendship. It’s not hard to see that San isn’t interested in a long relationship, not right now at least.
You honestly find it amusing that so many girls and guys still throw themselves at him and then get upset when he doesn’t give them a second glance after the initial night. His reputation precedes him, especially in your small town, and yet there will always be a line out the door for him. You don’t even know how he knows so many people.
With a sigh, you clear out your thoughts and refocus on your organic chemistry work. You’re lucky your job offered to pay for your master's classes, but the workload is killing you inside. You’re incredibly happy you’re almost done, and with newfound motivation, you hunker down and start writing out your notes again.
It’s almost two in the morning when you finally yawn and start putting your books away, and it’s almost three when you hear the front door open and the sound of San stumbling into the shoe rack as he always does. “You’re home already, Sanah?”
“YN!” San stumbles his way into the bathroom where you’re combing your hair, wrapping his arms around you and tucking his flushed face into your neck. “You’re still up?”
You laugh, tapping him on the head with your brush. “Yes, but I’m about to go to bed. And you should too, you know.”
San groans, his hold on your waist tightening and his words slurring together. “I don’t wanna,” he whines, “the bed's too cold.”
You sigh fondly. This happens almost every time he drinks, and usually, that’s why he doesn’t drink too much when he’s by himself. He gets too cuddly with people and you’re usually the one to keep him from bedding everyone he sees.  You suppose he somehow didn’t end up with anyone in bed and he’s disappointed now. “Do you think you’ll ever ask to sleep with me nicely, or will you just settle for wrestle-cuddling me into my own bed?” you ask, rolling your eyes as San does not answer, just pulling you towards your room. “There’s my answer.”
You’re too used to his drunk antics and just let him move you around. It’s comforting in a way, that he’s comfortable enough around you to do this with you, and it makes your heart warm whenever he throws his arm around you and presses his face in your neck.
You’d never admit it, but it’s nights like this when you sleep the best. With his warm breath tickling your neck, you let your body relax and your eyes flutter shut.
-
“God, I’ve got a raging headache,” San groans when he sees you enter the kitchen with a mess of bed hair. “I went so crazy with the soju last night, I think I’m going to die.”
You laugh, reaching for the pot to make some oatmeal for him. “Don’t be so dramatic. Why did you even drink so much anyway? No bitches?”
San snorts but immediately whines from the sharp pain that probably shot through his skull. “You’re so mean to me! No, I got no bitches, but that was from my own choice anyway. I don’t want to fuck around anymore.”
Both your eyebrows raise into your hairline. “No? What changed things, hm? Finally decided your one true love is Byeol?” As if on cue, your shared cat meows and curls around your ankles, and you bend down to scratch behind her ears.
“Never had to decide that, we all know she’s the real number one in my life. No, I think I’m interested in someone.” You stop your petting of Byeol, who meows in protest and runs off to pout somewhere. “Come on, don’t act like you just saw a ghost.”
“Who?” is the only question that comes out of your mouth. Of course, San has had a crush before, but he’s never stopped screwing around unless he was actively dating that person. He’s a fuckboy, but he’s not a piece of shit at least. This is new.
“Lee Yeseul. I met her yesterday at the party, and she’s so sweet. She was so out of place at the party, and not in a mean way. She just…has such an aura around her.” San’s voice is soft even just talking about her and you get the feeling he’s being serious. “We’re meeting up for coffee today.”
“That’s…amazing, Sanah. I really hope it goes well for you,” you smile at him, pushing a bowl of oatmeal over to him. “Don’t forget to let me make a speech at your wedding.”
San chuckles, rolling his eyes at your jokes. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t you have study group today? Go there and stop bothering me.”
You ruffle his messy hair before planting a kiss on it and pinching his cheek. He blindly reaches around to smack at you but you dodge him easily, laughing as you head out to grab your keys. “See you later, Sanah. Have a good da-ate.”
San grumbles at you but ultimately returns to his food. You think you can hear him muttering about you being a pain in the ass and you smile to yourself. You don’t have the heart to tell him you know Lee Yeseul…and she’s a major bitch. You sincerely hope she’s sweet to San at least—he deserves the best. But you find her absolutely draining, especially with how often she talks about herself and doesn’t pay attention to anyone else ever. If she cries in your class one more time you think you might smack her yourself.
You still remember the time you had gotten a call that your grandfather had died, and after overhearing your conversation, instead of comforting you, she started talking about how “so many of my family members died in the past ten years.” Sure, maybe she was trying, but you’ve known about her antics enough that it was clear she just wanted to make it about her.
But if San likes her, who are you to interfere? He has a pretty good eye for who has a good personality so maybe Yeseul has changed. You’re not one to stop him. Not that you ever could. When he first started going out to party, you would tag along to make sure he wouldn’t make any bad decisions, but your efforts seldom paid off. You’re pretty sure he must be blessed since he somehow hadn’t pissed off anyone majorly enough to have them call a hit on him.
Shaking your head, you rid yourself of these thoughts and go to the library. There’s no use dwelling on it, the more you think about it, the worse your feeling about his crush on Yeseul gets. He’s a grown man, he doesn’t need you to parent him.
“Woah, who pissed in your cereal?” You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to hide your bad mood from your study buddy, Hongjoong. Although you only see him for studying, you’re confident enough to call him your closest friend other than San. “Are you okay?”
You sigh, dropping your books on the table. It earns you a harsh ‘shh’ from the librarian which you apologise half-heartedly for. “Do you remember Yeseul? Lee Yeseul?”
Hongjoong’s brows raise high into his hairline. “The professional bitcher? What did she do now?”
“San’s into her, and with her personality, she’s probably loving the attention from the professional heartbreaker.” You groan, glaring at the cover of your organic chemistry textbook. “It’s none of my business if he cares for her, but damn, I wish he could’ve picked anyone else.”
Hongjoong hums, leaning forward and poking at the top of your head. “Look, you’ve been his friend for years. I think you have a bit more of a reason to poke your nose into his business than most. Give it a few weeks, and if it truly bothers you, then you can bring it up to San.”
You sigh. “Maybe.” You say nothing else on the topic and Hongjoong knows not to broach it anymore. Sometimes you wish he wasn’t so smart.
-
“YN, I didn’t know you knew Yeseul!” is the first thing San says to you one week after he returns from one of his many dates with her. “When I mentioned you being my roommate she told me you were in the same class as her.”
You wince to yourself as you take a long swig of your coffee. “Mmh, I didn’t think it was that relevant,” you say. You can practically hear Hongjoong rolling his eyes at your excuse. You know you should tell him your qualms about Yeseul, especially since the gross feeling in your gut has only gotten stronger. But you’re not sure you want to tread those waters. San’s sweet, but he’s loyal to a fault and probably wouldn’t like you talking badly about Yeseul.
San narrows his eyes, clearly suspicious but not willing to pry. “Well, maybe if we ever find you a date, we can go on a double date.” He moves on pretty quickly, though, walking over to lean over your shoulder and look at your laptop. “Still going on that paper?”
You hum, cracking your knuckles. “Yeah, it’s due tomorrow so I need to pump it out today and then get Hongjoong to look it over.” You lean back, letting your head rest on San’s torso as you yawn. “I can’t wait for this to be over so that I can graduate already.”
San laughs, leaning down to rest his chin on your head. “You’re smart. You can do this. And when you’re done, I’ll take you to a party and we can celebrate.”
You groan, shifting forward and putting your hands back on the keyboard. “Well, in that case, I should get back to writing this.” As you start typing again, you hear the buzzer ring and the warmth of San’s body leaves you as he goes to check who it is.
“Oh, hey, Yeseul! Come on up!” Your eyebrows raise into your hairline and your head snaps up. Why would Yeseul go to all this trouble of coming here? Didn’t they just see each other?
You close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths before facing the dragon herself. You can hear the tell-tale sound of her voice pitched up to sound more sweet, although it’s grown to be grating on your ears. “Hi, Sannie,” she purrs and you have to refrain from retching. “I was on my way home but I realised it went right by your apartment so I figured I could come say hi. It doesn’t look like you’re too busy, right?”
“No, not at all,” San replies, and you hate how sweetly he talks to her. “YN is in too, she’s writing her final paper. Wanna say hi? She could probably use the distraction.”
No, I don’t need the distraction, is what you want to scream out, but your mother did not raise you like that although you wish she did. Instead, you just smile politely at the girl entering your kitchen. “Hello, Yeseul. Good to see you again.”
“Hey, YNie!” Her cheery nickname for you has your eye twitching. “How’s the paper going? I finished mine a few weeks ago so I’m home free. Just need to submit it.”
“That’s great, Yeseul,” you say, tone slightly more monotonous than you wanted it to be and San shoots you a look. “Hopefully you get a good grade on it.”
“Hey, would you want to join us for dinner?” San cuts in and you can already feel a headache starting to pulse behind your eyes. “I was going to order pizza since it’s my turn today and I’m not nearly as good of a cook as YN.”
“Oh, that would be lovely! I don’t mind whatever toppings,” Yeseul claps happily. The urge to punch her in the face increases bit by bit for you. San nods happily, stepping out into the living room to place the call. After a moment, Yeseul turns to you with puppy eyes and you brace yourself for whatever she has up her sleeve. “Could I trouble you for a glass of water, YNie?”
You try your best to keep your composure as you get up to fetch her a glass of water. She takes it without even a thank you and you decide you’d much rather die than deal with her any longer so you close your laptop with a sigh. “I’m actually meeting with a friend for dinner, but you definitely should stay and have fun,” you say, smiling as plausibly as you can. You do not have dinner plans but you’re sure you can figure it out.
When you go into your room, you’re drawing blanks. You’re still going out, but you’ll probably just end up calling a friend to complain. As you leave the room and grab your keys, San meets eyes with you and frowns. “Where are you going?”
“Ah, I promised to have dinner with a friend so I’m heading out. Enjoy your time with Yeseul, though.”
The furrow between San’s brows deepens. “But I already ordered the pizza.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “I can bring the leftovers tomorrow for lunch. Sorry, I just forgot to tell you, but I really have to go now. Bye!” Before he can say goodbye as well, you slip out the door. The suffocating feeling that is encompassing you lifts and you sigh in relief, but then you somehow feel worse at the idea of San and Yeseul having fun and giggling and cuddling.
You shake your head again, trying to clear your muddled thoughts before setting down to go find your dinner. Fast food was the easiest option, and you figured you could at least sit in your car and wallow in self-pity.
-
After you receive your order you park and pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts. You don’t want to call your family because as much as you love them, they can be a bit over-protective and probably will offer to help you find a different apartment and that would be a bit dramatic. In the end, Hongjoong is probably the next best option.
He doesn't pick up immediately, and you’re just about to hang up when the phone crackles and Hongjoong’s voice comes through. “Why are you calling me?”
You can’t help but bark out a laugh at his disgruntled tone. “Hongjoong, it’s a perfectly reasonable hour to call, don’t blame me for your shit sleeping schedule. Are you actually free though?”
Hongjoong sighs and if you focus you can hear the sound of him rolling over in bed. “What’s up?”
“It’s about Yeseul again. She came around today, and it was just…so suffocating. Like, why did San have to pick her? There’s so many girls, and out of them all he picks her? The most bitchy one I know?”
Hongjoong hums. “Why does it annoy you so much?”
You groan, leaning your head back and taking a long sip of your drink. “She’s self-centred, bitchy, and she’s just so fake. I don’t think this relationship will end well, Joong. Clearly he’s just blinded and she’s so manipulative.”
“But why are you so bothered by this specifically? I mean, sure we’ve had bad interactions with Yeseul, but you’re pretty nonchalant about the shit San gets up to and you like to let him deal with the consequences himself.”
You frown glaring at the phone although you know he can’t see it and you pop a fry into your mouth. “I don’t know. It just feels different. I feel like I should interfere this time. I mean, he’s a lot more serious this go around.”
Hongjoong hums, rolling once again as he yawns. “YN, be totally honest with me. This is a shot in the dark, but I think this is pretty important.” You hold your breath in anticipation. “Do you like San?”
“Oh sure, he’s a good friend–”
“You and I both know that’s not what I meant.” You bite your lip, stiffening in your chair. “YN, you need to be honest with yourself. The way you talk about San, you interact with him, it’s not how just roommates, just friends interact. You kiss each other's heads, YN. And it can be platonic, but I’ve rarely seen San do that to his female friends, and I’ve never seen you do that, period. You don’t even kiss me.” His voice turns teasing on the last bit but you’re too shocked to register.
Do you like San? You love him like a friend, of course. But when you think about him being with anyone else, even if it wasn’t Yeseul, something in you aches. When you think about San’s smile being directed to anyone else, you can feel a burning in your gut. The answer is clear, whether you like it or not.
“I…yes. I do.” The confession comes out quietly. “But I don’t want to do anything about it. Like you said, it’s up to San whether he likes Yeseul enough. I can’t interfere.”
You can practically hear the look Hongjoong would be levelling at you. “Why not?”
You shrug. “When San likes someone, nothing can stop him from liking someone unless he wants to. I’ll just let it run its course and hopefully my own feelings will vanish in the process.”
“That doesn’t sound very healthy, YN.”
You let out a despondent laugh. “Sure, probably not. But who knows? Maybe I can find someone else in the process.” You let out a sigh before glancing at your now-cold sandwich. “I gotta head out, but thanks for talking, Joong. I’ll see you in class.”
Hongjoong can barely say goodbye before you hang up the phone and lean back. This is going to be difficult. The more you see Yeseul, the more you know you’ll accidentally slip up and something will tip her and San off. Your headache is pulsing behind your eyes and you take a small bite of your sandwich, your appetite diminishing. You miss being a child and your biggest worry is that San sneezed on your lollipop.
With another groan, you wrap up the sandwich and just go for a late-night drive instead to clear your head. It’s something that has never failed to calm you down and keep your mind level. San always berates you for driving alone at night, but you’d like to say you’re pretty safe. Plus, even he has agreed that it’s pretty calming when—you frown, forcing thoughts of San to leave your brain.
You don’t really know how long you’ve been out, but it’s surely long enough that Yeseul has left. As you carefully open the door, there’s a long silence, and you sigh, happy you made it home free. But as you’re about to call out for San, you hear a high-pitched moan come from his bedroom. And it certainly is not San.
You almost turn tail and head right back out of the apartment when you hear San’s reverberating moans fill the house. Against your better judgment, you take off your shoes and step closer towards his bedroom. His bedroom door is cracked open and curse him for putting his mirror right in view where you can see him leaning back on his bed, his lower half hidden off the edge of it and you can only see Yeseul’s knees.
And in your head, you know it’s wrong. But your heart is beating out of your chest and you can feel heat building in your core. And, well, you’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve. You keep yourself pressed against the wall, staring at the way the muscles in San’s neck strain and the way he moans with every snap of his hips. You’re sure your panties are soaked through by now, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to keep yourself quiet. The taste of copper enters your mouth but you couldn’t care less.
It’s only when San sits up, probably to fuck into Yeseul better and he disappears from the mirror that you rip yourself away and escape into your own room. Not another thought enters your brain as you strip your leggings and underwear off, flopping on your bed and closing your eyes as you let your hand trail down to press against your slick pussy. It doesn’t take long for you to sink your fingers into your sopping cunt, turning your head to bury your face into your pillow.
The guilt in the back of your mind is quickly sent away as you imagine San’s hands fucking you instead. He’s always had well-worn hands, and your brain fogs up as you imagine him leaning forward to mouth at your neck as he fucks you.
Your brain flips back and forth between the idea of him eating you out so well and fucking so many loads into you with his thick cock that your stomach swells and you whimper into your pillow as your core tightens and you come onto your fingers. You feel tears prick your eyes as you get up to wipe your hands of the cream coating your fingers and toss the tissue in the trash. You’re not sure how you’ll be able to face San or Yeseul again after that.
You can feel the shame burning inside of you and you close your eyes and cry yourself to sleep silently.
-
Waking up is disorienting, your eyes red-rimmed and your bottom lip raw and blood dried on it. You feel like death and you’re pretty sure you can’t attend class like this. You lean over and grab your phone, yawning as you send your professor a text with a weak excuse. You don’t really care how plausible it is, Professor Jeong usually is quite understanding so you don’t worry about that for too long. San had texted you an hour ago, asking if you had come home, and you choose not to answer it.
You can hear mumbling in the other room, probably Yeseul and San sharing goodbyes, when you hear the door shut behind her. Unlike you, she’s probably happy to go to class and tell all her friends about her night with the campus fuckboy.
It takes another thirty minutes for you to finally roll out of bed and put some lotion on your face, hoping for the traces of the questionable night you had to erase from your face. Once you’re satisfied with your appearance, you venture out into your living room where San is standing by the door. “When did you get back?” he asks without even turning around. “I texted you like, an hour ago.”
You shrug, avoiding his eyes as you move into the kitchen to find breakfast. “I only just woke up, San.”
Your roommate gives a short huff, following close behind you. “Don’t you have class? Yeseul just left so you could walk with her.”
You try not to roll your eyes at the idea of that. “I’m not feeling well so I don’t think I’ll go.” “You’re not feeling well?” San’s voice deepens in concern and as you grab a yoghurt, he places his hand atop your forehead. “You are feeling pretty warm.”
At his touch, too many memories of last night flood through your brain and you shake away his hand. “Yeah. I’ll just go lie down for a little. Have a good day.”
Before he can say anything else, or realise your suspicious behaviour, you dodge past him and head off back into your room to hide. “I left your pizza in the fridge,” he calls after you and you just grunt in thanks before barricading yourself in your room.
You lean against the door for a minute before you realise you didn’t even grab a spoon. Unwilling to go back out there, you’ve resigned yourself to licking it out of the container like a cat when you hear a gentle knock at the door.
“I got you a spoon,” San’s unsure voice filters through the wooden door, and you squeeze your eyes shut.
“Thanks, San,” you murmur, turning to open the door a crack and take the proffered utensil. “Sorry for being short with you.”
His lips quirk into a half-smile, a silent acceptance of your apology. “I get it. Just get some rest, YN.”
You close the door again, this time a warm heart in your chest mixing with the guilt you still feel in your gut. You’re not sure how on earth you’re going to get over your feelings for San.
-
Avoiding San goes well for the most part. You are in your finals week anyway, and you’re spending most of your time at the library or in class. Your college’s library stays open for 24 hours during the last week of school anyways so some nights you’ve just been staying there until morning. Hongjoong disapproves heavily but doesn’t say much about it and you appreciate his support either way.
Avoiding Yeseul proves much harder. She seems to always find her way to wherever you happen to be, interrupting you and Hongjoong’s study sessions with a perfect smile and narrowed eyes. You don’t know what she wants from you, and you aren’t pleased with her presence.
But one evening, you’re about to leave the library to have some dinner when she corners you. “YN, let’s talk,” she says in that sickeningly saccharine voice of hers, looping her arm into yours and pulling you down the street. “I have some things to ask you.”
Unwilling, you try to tug your arm out of her grasp, but the girl is stronger than you expected. She pulls you all the way to her dorm on campus, sitting you down on her leather couch. “What is your relationship with Choi San?”
Her question comes so suddenly you need a minute to register. To her credit, Yeseul waits patiently for you to gather your thoughts. “He’s my friend and roommate?” you say as truthfully as you can muster, although you know it’s an absolute lie, and judging from her expression, Yeseul doesn’t believe you either.
“Don’t take me as a fool, YN. The way he talks about you is undeniable.”
“That seems like something you should be talking to him about,” you say, attempting to get up from the couch but Yeseul just pushes you back down.
“I’ve tried. He just tells me there’s nothing to worry about and I don’t believe that,” Yeseul grits through her teeth.
And you have to give it to her. She did try to come to San about her worries. But the way she refuses to trust him grates on your nerves. He stopped his fuckboy activities to be with her, and yet she’s worried about you, one of the few girls who isn’t all over him at any moment. You arch a brow. “Do you not trust him?”
Yseul scoffs. “Of course not. He’s a fuckboy. But I like the status I get with him. I just don’t want to end up embarrassed.”
Well, that will be inevitable, you can’t help but think to yourself. No matter how much your relationship with San is strained, you’re not about to let Yeseul talk shit about him like he isn’t genuinely trying for her.
“That’s where you come into play,” Yeseul’s smirk turns sharp. “I’m going to call San. Ask him to choose between us. If he chooses you, then I want you to stay far, far away from him.”
You shrug. No matter the outcome, it’s not like you’re not already keeping your distance from San. In the end, you’ll just tell him to break up with her and let him deal with the chaos himself. “Go ahead,” bitch.
San picks up on the first ring. “Yeseul?” He’s cheery and your heart aches at the thought of Yeseul breaking his so easily. “What’s the occasion?”
“Hey, babe, I just have a quick question, and I need you to answer truthfully for me, okay?” At his pause, she takes that as a go-ahead. “Who would you pick? Me or YN.”
There’s a long silence on the phone. “Yeseul, we need to break up.”
Only one thing unites you and Yeseul in this moment, and it’s your shared confusion for San’s reaction. “What do you mean?” her voice turns panicked. “Isn’t that a little far?”
“You’ve been stuck on this, and I don’t know how much I have to reassure you, Yeseul. I haven’t even seen YN for the past two weeks. And she’s my closest friend. I’m not dropping her for a two-week relationship. I hope you have a good time, Yeseul.”
Before you can react at all, Yeseul screeches and points an accusing finger at you. “This is all your fault, YN!”
Your jaw drops at her absolute audacity. “My fault? What are you on? I was just trying to live peacefully when you dragged me into this plot ignoring my advice. I told you to talk to him, to just fucking trust him. God, you’re an idiot. And I’m going home.”
Without another word, you leave, still fuming over that interaction. Couldn’t she just have made the call without you? You’re happy you don’t have to do all the convincing for San to leave her, but that just complicates things for you. Would he really so easily drop Yeseul just for you? From what you’ve heard, he was practically head over heels for her.
With another sigh, you head back to the library. You need to finish that exam.
-
“Pens down, and turn in your exams,” you hear the professor call, and you don’t think you’ve ever gotten up so fast. You’re so, so fucking happy that you’ve finished your last year and now you’re free.
As soon as your professor accepts your paper you race out of the lecture hall, only stopped by the cafeteria when you hear someone call your name. Lee Juyeon, someone you’ve started growing closer to, waves you down. “Hey, YN, congrats on finishing!” he smiles at you and you can’t help but smile back, the giddiness contagious.
“Thanks! You too,” you say, pulling him into a hug. “It’s so nice to be done.” Practically nothing could dampen your mood, especially seeing Juyeon. He’s sweet, and you have an inkling he likes you. And you’re not opposed to it.
“It really is,” Juyeon agreed cheerfully. “Look, I have to go celebrate with my family, I just wanted to say hi. But hey…there’s this end of the year party on Saturday, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”
And your suspicions were right. You think about it for a moment. You’re not the biggest party person, anyone knows that, but Juyeon is sweet and just what you need, so you accept eagerly. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to exchange numbers and for him to promise to send you more details before he runs off. And through your excitement, you know you still have to go meet with San who’s probably waiting for you just outside. He wanted to see you as soon as you finish your exams, and you didn’t have the heart to decline.
“Congratulations on finishing your last exam, YN!” San cheers as soon as you exit the college building. “I’m so proud of you!”
You’re too tired to complain when San sweeps you up into a hug, just letting yourself relax in his firm arms. After all this work, you think you’ll let yourself indulge in his affection. “Thanks, Sanah. I appreciate it.” You let your chin rest on his broad shoulder, closing your eyes and letting the exhaustion take over you. “Can I go to bed now?”
You hear him chuckle, the vibrations from his chest comforting you. “Yeah, yeah. We can celebrate later. Come on.”
He tugs you all the way to your apartment, dropping you on the couch and quickly curling right up next to you. You can’t bring yourself to care. “I’m proud of you,” he repeats into your hair as he tucks your head into his neck. Your eyes flutter shut.
When you reopen them, it’s bordering on evening. San is no longer wrapped around you, and you can hear him moving about in the kitchen. “San,” you call out, voice raspy from having just woken up. “What are you doing?”
“Ah, I’m making dinner,” he responds, his voice too warm for your liking, your heart beating just a little faster. “Come and eat.”
With a bit of difficulty, you rise from the couch and move to the kitchen, taking a seat at the counter. “Japchae? When did you learn how to cook this?”
San chuckles. “Wooyoung taught me the other day because he was bored. I figured it’d be a nice surprise for you after all your hard work.”
Your lips twitch, unsure if you should smile or pout. “That’s sweet. Thank you again, San.”
As you start eating the noodles (there’s a little too much sesame but you don’t have the heart to tell San that), San clears his throat. “So…I promised to take you to a party.”
You vaguely remember this conversation. “Ah, yeah. What did you have in mind?”
“There’s this end of the year party, it’s supposed to be the biggest one, hosted by Jackson Wang.”
“Ah–” you shake your head, eyes apologetic. “I promised someone else I’d go with them. I didn’t know that was the party you wanted to take me to. Maybe we can do something else on a different day?”
San’s lips turn downward the slightest bit. “That’s okay. There are other parties. Who invited you, by the way?” His tone is casual, and yet you still feel like you’re walking into the lion’s den.
“Ah, Lee Juyeon from college. I think he’s in Hongjoong’s philosophy department, but he’s a year behind. He’s cute so I figured I’d give it a try.”
“It’s a date?” Your brows furrow at the heaviness in San’s voice but you pay it no mind and nod. “I see. Well, have fun.”
The rest of the dinner is filled with silence, San picking at his food and you in no mood to try and dissect his mood. He takes your empty bowl and starts doing the dishes, and you mumble out a thank you before running back to your room. He’s clearly not willing to talk more and it’s best to give him space.
As you lay in bed, you can’t help but worry about what is so grating on his mind after you mentioned your date. You can’t think of anything that would cause him to be angry—as far as you’re aware he has no grudges against Lee Juyeon, much less met him. Shaking your head, you try and fall asleep. It’s best not to dwell on it, you can just ask him tomorrow.
-
It’s Saturday, and you’re in a foul mood. San hasn’t spoken to you in the four days leading up to the party, avoiding you like there’s no tomorrow. The only saving grace comes in the form of Juyeon’s excited texts, telling you all about his outfit for the party, and you respond with matching enthusiasm. When you meet with Juyeon in front of the large house where the party is held, the thought of San isn’t even on your mind. Instead, you just take Juyeon’s offered hand and follow him into the party.
You weave through the bodies, reaching the counter where shots are being passed around. “Want vodka or tequila?” Juyeon asks, his voice pitching higher to be heard over the bass. Without answering him, you just reach for the bottle of tequila, pouring the two of you shots. “Good choice,” Juyeon laughs, throwing his head back as he downs the alcohol, you following suit shortly.
“You know, I never pegged you for a college party fan,” you lean in, laughing. “Maybe I should hang out with you more.”
Juyeon chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Maybe you should. I know great party-throwers. Although I’ve heard you’ve been to your fair share, what being San’s friend and all.”
You shake your head, a smile on your face. “Maybe at first, but you know, organic chemistry isn’t an easy major to balance with a party life.”
Juyeon laughs loudly, bumping you with his hip. “I understand the pain. Philosophy falls into that category of majors too. Another shot?”
You take the second shot happily, letting the alcohol burn through your veins as you stumble alongside Juyeon’s wandering through the crowd. Whatever you’re doing is a blur, all you can focus on is Juyeon’s smile and his warm hand holding yours.
It feels like barely a moment has passed when Juyeon pulls you into a nearly empty room of couches, only a few other couples lingering in the corners. “I hope you’ve been enjoying yourself,” Juyeon starts, his eyes sparkling as he takes in your appearance. “It’s been fun hanging out.”
“I did too,” you agree with a small smile, looking up at him through your lashes.
He leans in, and you lean in, and your lips brush. It’s a sweet kiss, one that you lean into as Juyeon wraps his arms around your waist. It’s warm and you smile into it. And then a familiar face pops into your head. You wonder to yourself how San would kiss you, if he would do it as sweetly as Juyeon or if he would devour your lips like it was his last meal.
When Juyeon pulls away for air, you feel guilt burning in your stomach again. Why would you think of other men when Juyeon’s right here in front of you? As Juyeon leans in to kiss you again, you almost move back before a hand grips your shoulder and pulls you into a broad chest.
“Hey, man, I’m going to have to talk to YN if you don’t mind.” You’d recognise your best friend’s voice anywhere, and it only serves to fill you with annoyance. Sure, you weren’t as into Juyeon’s kisses as you expected, but it doesn’t mean you’re thrilled to be interrupted by the man who’s been ignoring you.
Juyeon takes one look at San, and something changes in his eyes. A mix of reluctance and acceptance, and with a short nod and smile towards you, he slips away from you. You turn to San, frowning at the sharpness in his narrowed eyes, not one you’re used to seeing or enjoy seeing. “Why would you kiss him?” he spits, and your annoyance grows with confusion being added to the mix.
“What do you mean, ‘why kiss him’? I told you, San, I was on a date. Why the fuck did you interrupt us?”
“I like you.” Those three words would be a dream for you to hear from his mouth…if you weren’t so pissed.
“No, fuck that. I do not need to hear that from you right now. Not when I was enjoying my night with Juyeon. What was confessing supposed to do for you, San? It’s too late now. I wanted to enjoy this party, and now I have to go apologise to Juyeon for you.” San opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head, pushing him away from you.
You leave San standing by himself as you search for Juyeon, your mood immediately souring. Why would he fucking do this to you? You can feel tears burning your eyelids and you abandon your search for Juyeon, searching instead for some liquor to take away your embarrassment.
As you pour yourself another shot of tequila, you notice a familiar face, Hongjoong talking to a girl you recognise as someone he hangs out with sometimes. They look like they’re getting it on and you feel a little bad, but you need his advice. “Hey, Kim Hongjoong!” you call out to him, waving him over. Hongjoong’s eyes brighten and he makes his way over, leaving the girl staring after him longingly, but her attention is soon taken away by two other guys. You recognise one of them from the cafeteria but you don’t remember his name.
“Hey, YN, what’s up? I didn’t expect to see you here, did San take you?” Your face falls and Hongjoong realises he stepped into dangerous territory. “Okay, what happened?”
-
“I can’t believe San is mad at me for kissing someone at the party,” you groan after explaining to Hongjoong the events leading up to now. “Sure, maybe it wasn’t the best move on my part but he’s had like, twenty million one-night stands, and yet I can’t kiss someone else? He hasn’t even talked to me after I mentioned going on a date. And yet he looked positively murderous after he saw me kissing that other guy.”
Hongjoong tilts his head, confused. “Isn’t that what you wanted, though? You like him.”
“I did! I do! But I’m so sick of waiting around for him, and I could’ve had a chance at liking someone else. He’s all over the place, and I don’t know if that’s what I want in a man.” You’re lying to both Hongjoong and yourself, and Hongjoong knows it, raising an eyebrow.
“Honestly, YN, it just sounds like you need to talk to him.” Hongjoong crosses his arms, tapping his foot and eager to back to the girl was with, but also not wanting to ditch you in your time of need. You feel a little bad for pulling him away, but your mind is swirling with so many thoughts, you don’t know if you can sort them out by yourself and drinking to erase those thoughts is not something you like to do. You’re not San.
And speak of the devil, you smell his familiar cologne before his hand lands on your shoulder and pulls you into his chest. You whirl around out of his grip and glare at him. “Get off me,” you snap. “I’m in the middle of a conversation right now, Choi San.”
With one glance at Hongjoong, he raises his hands and winks at you. “Have that talk, YN. It’ll do you more good than harm.”
Oh, you’re going to kill that traitor after the party. You turn your attention back to San, your mouth twisted into a frown. “You make this quick or else.”
San has the decency to look a little ashamed as his eyes shake. “Can we talk on the patio? It’s too loud in here.”
With a dramatic sigh, you grab his wrist and pull him through the crowd to the back door, practically slamming it behind you. You can see the eyes of people interested in the drama through the windows but you pay it no mind. “Speak. You get five minutes before I go back in and you don’t talk to me again for the rest of the night.”
San’s face falls and his lips pull into a pout. But no matter how subconsciously adorable he is, you refuse to fall for his charms this time. The heat of anger is still curling in your gut when you think about the argument from earlier. “YN, come on, I had a good reason.”
You shake your head, ignoring the strands of hair that fall into your eyes. “No, San. Confessing to me is not a good reason to fuck up my night. You didn’t even apologise. You’ve been ignoring me for days after I mentioned my date, and the moment I kiss Juyeon you get all angry and jealous? Be for real.” You pause for breath, glaring daggers into his eyes. “You are not owed my time, especially after that shit you pulled. Yeseul’s jealousy is why you broke up with her, so why are you like this to me?”
San’s gaze intensifies and you can see him actively trying to reign in his temper. Although he does his best to remain calm, if tempers are rising, he can be intense. “YN, what was I supposed to do? Watch you go out with him? Watch you slip from my fingers just like that?”
“Yes!” you all but scream at him. “If I could sit by and let Yeseul take each little bit of your heart, you could’ve done the same! I was going to be happy, San! I wouldn’t have to sit behind and watch you from the sidelines with my heart slowly cracking. But I don’t get that same courtesy.”
You step forward, poking his chest with a finger as you let loose your storm of thoughts. In your anger, you don’t even notice San’s arm moving until it wraps around your waist and pulls you into him. The action shocks you enough that you stop mid-sentence, your finger still pressing into San’s flesh. “You love me?” San leans in, his nose brushing against yours.
You can feel heat flare up in your face as you stare wide-eyed at him. It takes you a moment to register your compromising position and you stumble back, pushing at his chest. “Don’t do that,” you hiss, turning your eyes away. “I don’t like you, San. Not anymore.”
“You’re lying.” San’s voice is firm. “Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don’t like me anymore.”
You don’t know where you got it from. You’ve never been good at lying, not to San. Maybe it was the alcohol burning through your system, mixing with the shame and anger you feel. But this time, you stare him directly in the eye and say the four words that might’ve been the biggest lie in your life. “I don’t like you.” San’s brows furrow and he shakes his head.
“No–”
“Yes, San. You cannot just waltz around and expect me to keep the patience I had for you. I’m sick of being pulled around like a puppet. Maybe at first you didn’t know. But refusing to give me space when I asked for it?” You shake your head, glancing back at the party. “I’m going back in. We can talk about the apartment lease later.”
Without glancing back, you re-enter the house. And maybe it hurts a little that he doesn’t go after you, but at this point, you’re too numb and all you want to do is go home and cry. But home is not an option, not when it would probably be the first place he would look for you. Fighting back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes, you slide into your car, staring blankly at the wheel for a long moment until you feel composed and sober enough to drive.
And drive you certainly do. You’re not quite sure where you’re going, and you’re plenty aware that this is a bad idea, but you just let yourself go around and calm yourself down first. The crisp breeze paired with the warm spring air does wonders to clear your head and paired with the late times, there are not too many cars out. It’s peaceful.
You’re not too sure how long you were out, but it’s long enough for the blurry memory of the argument to clear and you groan, pulling over to park by the side of the road and let your head hit the steering wheel. You went too far. San had always been the more emotional of you two, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He must’ve had a hard time with Yeseul, and although it doesn’t excuse him, you never gave him a chance to properly apologise.
With a sigh, you check your phone to see five missed calls and twenty texts from San asking where you are. He somehow even got your neighbours (a sweet couple in their twenties who babysit Byeol sometimes) to ask you if you’re okay. As your finger hovers over the call button, debating whether to call him back, bright headlights shine behind your car and you stiffen. Your hand hovers over the pepper spray you keep in the dash as you press the call button in a panic. No matter what the disagreement was about, you know San would still come to your aid if you needed it.
“YN, open the door. I’ve been worried sick!” San’s voice crackles through the receiver and you spin around in your seat, squinting at the figure standing behind your car and your shoulders sag in relief.
“God, San, you scared the shit out of me!” you scold, leaning over to unlock the passenger seat and push the door open while hanging up the call. “Get in here.”
A haggard-looking San slides in, his eyes red-rimmed and mouth pressed into a thin line. The car that drove him turns and you look back in confusion before San starts explaining. “I wanted to give you space so I stayed at the party,” he starts explaining after a moment. “But I got worried and went to the apartment to find you. But you weren’t there, and I asked all your friends. I’m lucky you left your location on, and my friend gave me a ride.”
You wince. You forgot about turning off your location, although you’re glad you didn’t as it would’ve been more dangerous otherwise. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, turning your eyes to look out the windshield. “I just needed to clear my head so I went for a drive.”
There’s a long period of suffocating silence between the two of you when San finally speaks, his voice quiet. “I’m sorry,” he starts and your head snaps towards him, eyes wide. Of all the things you expected to fall from his lips, an apology is not one of those things. Not tonight, at least. “I was too pushy. I shouldn’t have ignored you, or interrupted your time with Juyeon. I should’ve talked to you like an adult.”
You laugh, resting your head on the steering wheel. “What an astute observation, San. However did you come to that conclusion?” Your exasperation is evident in your tone and San sucks in a breath at how done you seem. “Look, San. I’m sure you didn’t mean it to be that bad. But I’m just…tired. I’m tired of always wondering what is running through your mind, where I am in your list of importance. You date Yeseul, but break up with her over me. You give me the cold shoulder when I go on a date, but suddenly me being on a date is unacceptable. I just don’t know how to take anything.”
Against your will, tears start to drop onto your thighs, streaking down the skin and you sniff. “Shit,” San panics beside you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He hands you a tissue and you take it with shaking hands, pressing your face into it as San tugs you closer, guiding you to lean against him.
He repeats soft little ‘sorry’s and leans his head atop yours, his tears falling onto your hair. The two of you stay in this position for a long while, no words are needed to understand the emotional moment.
“Let’s go home, YN,” San mumbles, his voice vibrating deep in your heart. “Let’s go home and we can talk tomorrow.”
You sniff again, tears run dry as you sit up and wipe your eyes. “Okay,” you whisper out. “Let’s go home.”
San stays attached to you throughout the drive home, his hand gripping onto your own hand whenever he can, and quickly wrapping you into a back hug as you walk up to the apartment. “I…cuddle with me tonight?” you ask, eyes flitting away from his face, missing the brilliant smile that spreads across it.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he hums, walking with you to his room, and he lets you slide in first, the smell of his detergent filling your mind and your eyelids flutter shut already. San crawls in next to you, pulling you close.
“Good night, YN,” San mumbles as your breathing evens out. As you drift off into sleep, you swear you feel his soft lips on your forehead but you dismiss it as wishful thinking.
-
When you reawaken, San’s still curled up, your body covered by his, his breathing slow and gentle. You can’t help but blink a couple of times to make sure it isn’t a dream when his arms tighten around your waist and he shifts. “YN?” His morning voice is as rough as always, rumbling low in his chest.
“Hey, Sanah,” you greet him quietly, leaning up to meet his eyes blinking slowly at you like a cat’s. “Good morning.”
“Hi.” He dips his head to nuzzle into your neck, breathing in your scent. “I should probably explain myself.” His voice vibrates against your neck and you giggle softly at the ticklish feeling.
“That would be nice.”
San huffs, but he can’t complain about your snark. “I like you, YN. I don’t know when I started to, and I definitely didn’t realise I did until I started dating Yeseul. I did like her, but not as deeply as I thought I did. It was so easy to break up with her as soon as she made me pick between you and her. The answer came to me without a doubt in my mind as soon as the question left her lips, and yet I still didn’t realise my true feelings.” He laughs self-deprecatingly, and you stroke his hair comfortingly. “I didn’t realise why I was so pissed about you going out with Juyeon, and that’s why I was avoiding you. It’s a stupid reason, I know. But I just didn’t know why, not until I saw you at the party kissing him. I just wanted to be there instead of you. And I’m sorry, and I understand if you don’t like me anymore, but–”
“I love you.”
His head snaps up to stare at you after your sudden declaration, and after he registers your words a smile spreads across his face. He puffs out a breathy chuckle and you know his answer before he even says it. “I love you too.”
His eyes shine like you’ve hung the stars in the skies, and when they flit down to your lips, you know an unspoken question when you see it. You lean forward slowly, letting your eyes close once more when your lips meet his.
And damn, you were right about how San kisses. In a second, he deepens the kiss, bringing his hands up to cup your face while his tongue swipes at your lips. Shyly, you part your lips and he dives right in, licking into your mouth and biting at your lips.
“Sanah,” you gasp into his mouth, the sound swallowed by his plush lips. “Sanah–”
You repeat his name like a prayer as his lips travel down to your neck, littering wet kisses and bite marks all over your sensitive skin. “Fuck, baby, you’re so sweet to me,” San moans against your body. “Please, please, let me treat you right, make it up to you. Let me worship you.”
You whine as he laves his tongue over your breasts spilling out of the crop top you had worn last night. Any other time you would’ve stressed at how gross the clothes were but right now you could hardly even think about it. “Fuck, yes, please,” you beg when San nips at your cleavage, leaving a mark.
“Ah, already begging for me,” San groans, his hips pressing into your legs. “You’re so perfect.” His voice grows whiney as his sucks on your nipples, making your back arch.
His kisses move down your body until his breath is ghosting over your stomach and his hands are pawing at your pants, shoving them down as quickly as he can. He doesn’t have the same amount of minimal patience for your panties, and before you can react, he’s ripped them off your legs. “Choi San!” you scold, shifting to try and sit up but his grip on your hips stops you from moving too far.
“I’ll buy you a new pair,” San promises before diving right in and sucking at your clit without another moment’s hesitation. Your hips jerk and your core tightens at the sudden feeling as you throw your head back and moan so loudly it’s bordering on a scream
His ministrations on your dripping cunt have you wordless. His fingers are pressing into your hip bones, the sensation making you squirm. As soon as his tongue breaches your clenching hole your hands fly down to grasp at his hair. “Fuck–” you squeal, your legs attempting to close but San just pushes them apart again, busying himself in your folds.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” San groans, the vibrations sending shivers up your spine as he lets his teeth scrape against your clit. You can hardly focus on anything at the barrage of sensations filling you up, San fucking his tongue into you so well. Your thighs are shaking as you can feel yourself grow wetter and wetter against his face.
When you tilt your head down, he meets your eyes as he moves one of his hands to push a finger into your hole. “Shit–” your grip on his hair tightens impossibly. “Sanah–”
“Come for me, love,” San groans, and you let the dam break, screaming out his name until your voice is hoarse, and San licks up your release through it all.
When he finally pulls away from your twitching and sensitive core, his lips are covered in your glistening slick, thick globs of it sitting pretty on his chin. Without thinking, you pull him down and crash your lips against his, tasting yourself on his tongue. San groans as you lick his face clean, shoving your tongue deep into his mouth.
“Fuck, I need to fuck you right now or else I think I might go insane,” San growls, blindly fumbling in his nightstand to pull out a condom as he shoves down his sweats to reveal his hard, red cock. Without another thought, he opens the pack with his teeth, rolling the latex down his length with ease thanks to the precum dribbling down it.
He lines up, the tip of it kissing your hole, when you groan. You’re much too impatient for this, reaching down and holding him steady as you shift your body to sink onto his thick cock. “Shit, YN,” San grits out as you take him deeper and deeper until your cunt kisses his crotch. “You’re too much.”
You pant, shifting on his cock as you try to get used to the stretch. He’s not the longest you’ve had, but he’s thick and the stretch is almost too much. “You’re fucking talking, you fill me up so fucking well, Sanah.” You hiss as you throw your head back, the stinging melting into pleasure. “Fuck me already, San. Or should I go and find Juyeon to–”
You’re cut off by San thrusting into you so violently that you swear the bed shakes. “I don’t want to hear that fucking name out of your mouth anymore,” San commands, leaning forward until his body weight pins you down and your eyes roll back as he starts fucking into you with short, quick thrusts.
With every movement, you feel like you may break apart. You can hear every slick sound, the sound of it obscene, and yet all you want is more. Your previous release coats his cock so well, thick strings of it attaching to his hips.
His arms wrap around your waist, and before you can protest or do anything, he hoists you up until you’re sitting in his lap. You swear this angle makes him impale you even deeper, his cockhead kissing the perfect spot deep inside you. Your head drops to San’s shoulder, moaning against the fabric of his shirt. “Fuck, San, you’re so deep,” you moan high-pitched. “You’re so fucking good for me.”
San growls, pressing a kiss behind your ear. “You’re so tight for me, so much better than Yeseul. I saw you in the mirror, you know,” he whispers conspiratorially and you gasp and clench, snapping your head to look at him. “You’re not as sneaky as you thought, love. Did you touch yourself to the thought of me fucking you so well?”
You whine, words failing you, and San’s hips slow to a stop. You try your best to grind against him but his hands grip your waist, keeping you still. “Please–” you try to beg but San chuckles and nips at your earlobe.
“Answer me, YN.”
“Fuck– Yes!” you cry out, so eager for him to start moving again. “Wanted you to fill me with your cum so well until it was spilling out of me. Please, please, please, fuck me.”
“Hm.” And without any warning, San jerks his hips up into you, biting into your neck like a fucking vampire and you scream, hips stuttering as you come on his cock. You don’t think you’re making any coherent noises, just babbling into his neck as your bones become jelly from the overstimulation.
If you thought the sounds were obscene before, you swear they’ve become ten times worse as you lay limp against San’s body. He’s moving you up and down his cock like a doll and you pant, squeezing your eyes shut as you still feel aftershocks from your orgasm.
“Shit, you’re so warm around me, I’m gonna come,” San moans in your ear, his rhythm breaking as he drops your weight on his cock. You can feel him twitching inside you as his teeth sink into your neck once more. “God, I want to fill you up so badly, but that’s just going to have to wait, my love.”
After a long moment, he pulls out, groaning at your come coating the condom and his thighs. Without thinking, he dips his fingers in the mess and brings it to his mouth, licking it off like it’s the most delicious thing in the world to him. “Come here, baby,” he says in that beautifully raspy voice, and you lean forward, meeting his lips in another kiss.
This kiss is sweet and soft, but the lingering taste of your shared releases still permeates your taste buds. You sigh, leaning your head against his shoulder as he lays against the wall with you in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he apologises again, pressing another kiss to the top of your head and it’s almost like he hadn’t fucked you like it was your last day on earth. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
You hum, turning your head to pepper kisses over his neck freckles. “I should be the one saying that. I love you, San. And I’ll always run to you with no hesitation.”
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bi-writes · 4 months
Text
bestfriend!roommate!simon asks you to come with him on a night out. it is not quite the evening you were expecting.
more bestfriend!roommate!simon (part 5/?)
cw: mature language and content, suggestive language and content, mentions of death, fem!receiving suggestive touching, oral(fem!receiving), simon is an ass man, simon "i wont say it out loud but thats my girl" riley
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simon was standing outside of the diner. he was in his usual spot outside, leaning along the brick wall in the alleyway. you knew it was him by the small light that flickered every so often--simon was smoking his routine cigarette as he waited for you.
simon was true to his word. ever since you began working night shifts at the diner, you weren't allowed to walk home alone. it was non-negotiable, not to be discussed. someone would pick you up at the end of your shift, and if no one could make it, there was a car waiting outside, a driver poking his head out and asking for your name. and that driver would stand, shaking a little, nervous, as they walked you to your door and said, "was told if i didn't see you go inside and lock the door that...i-i wouldn't be driving with two hands anymore--"
simon did not cut corners. he did not say "tonight will be fine--she doesn't need me." simon did not get comfortable, and he did not let safety and routine ease his fears.
he had made that mistake once before, and he had nearly lost everything--nearly. he would never make that mistake again.
the bell chimed above the door as you came outside. simon tossed the cigarette onto the ground and stubbed it out with the steel toe of his boot just as you came near. you looked up at him as he came out of the shadows, smiling just a little.
"hi, simon."
"luv."
he wrapped a hand around the back of your head, bringing you close and kissing your forehead through the mask. you closed your eyes when he did this, feeling warmth flood your cheeks at the gesture.
"i need to ask you a favor," he said as you began to walk home. you put your arm through his, holding onto his bicep as you tried to skip the cracks in the pavement.
"sure, simon. what is it?"
"'m goin' out tonight. meeting with someone, at the pub. need you to come with me."
you looked up at him as he brought you to a stop before you were crossing the street. you frowned a little, laughing, confused.
"u-uh...sure...i'll come." you snuggled into his arm, resting your chin on his shoulder. "what's the occasion? need me on your arm so you can stay silent while i do all the talking?"
he grunted a bit, shaking his head.
"no. we're just going to a pub. in an hour."
"sheesh, not a lot of time for a girl to get presentable," you joked.
"you always look beautiful," simon murmured, putting the key in the front door and opening up the apartment. he put a hand on your back as he guided you in first. "that's a mad way of thinkin'."
you smiled to yourself as you went into your bedroom. you pretended not to notice the way his hand lingered on your back, or how it grazed the hem of your skirt.
when you came back out, it took every ounce of simon's self control not to groan out loud. you had his favorite jeans on. a light wash, ones that hugged your waist no nicely and accentuated the curves of your ass in a way that he couldn't see as well when you wore a skirt or a dress. and you were wearing heeled boots, ones that made you sit so good, made you a little taller, your walk just that much more sensual.
"im ready."
you shrugged on a leather jacket, and simon grabbed a black jacket of his own, fitting it on over his hoodie. the pub was only a walk away. it was somewhere you had been before; they had cheap pints and good greasy food, and the bartender called you doe--he liked your soft eyes.
you let go of simon's arm as he opened the door for you. the pub was warm, and the chatter was quiet and lively. the yellow of the lights and the smell of cigarettes and beer was so familiar and nice. you went for the bar, but simon put a hand around your waist, bringing your attention to the back of the room. your eyes fell on a man, someone with a beanie and an army green jacket hunched over a glass of single malt.
you let him redirect you, and when you finally went to sit at the table, a stern, weathered face with indiscernible blue eyes stared up at you. simon took a seat next to you, his hands folding on top of the desk.
"what...what is--"
"this is captain john price," simon interrupted you. "he's my commanding officer."
you straightened up in your seat suddenly. the captain had his eyes on you, looking you up and down--not in a rude or threatening way, more like he was just so curious. his gaze was gentle, and finally he held out his hand for you to shake. you clasped your hand in his, giving him a firm hold, and the man finally cracked a smile under his unusual mustache.
"nice to meet you," you said softly. "i...i-i'm sorry, i...i don't understand..."
"i need you to sign some papers," john said finally. "if that's alright with you, ma'am."
"ma'am? am i your mother?" you raised a brow, cracking a bit of a smile. "no need for the formalities. i'm under the impression you're the one getting simon home, so let's not beat around the bush, john."
at the use of his name and no other title, john smiled. he gave simon a look, something as if to say, i like this one. you tilted your head to the side.
"you want me to sign papers. let me see them."
john pulled a wad of papers from the inside of his jacket, sliding them over to you. you took them, unfolding them and skimming the words. there was only one set of words you needed to pay attention to before you folded the papers back up.
NEXT OF KIN
your head snapped to the side, looking at simon with an incredulous face. your lips parted, your bottom lip trembling.
"what the fuck is this? huh?"
simon clicked his teeth.
"please--"
you moved to leave, but simon had an iron grip on the back of your chair. you bared your teeth at him, hissing under your breath.
"i'm not signing shit, you asshole," you snapped. "what the fuck is this? if you wanna die out there, that's your fucking business, but don't put that shit on me, simon--"
"i need to know that if somethin' happens to me, that you're gonna be straight, so quit your whinin' and be fuckin' realistic," he said lowly. "if something happens to me right now, you don't get anything. and i can't go...i can't go out again without you signing those papers, do you understand me?"
"why do i have to do this?" you glared at him. you tried to be angry, but your eyes were glossy. you were terrified, and your heartbeat was pulsing in your ears. "why can't you just put my name somewhere and just--"
"we're not married," simon explained. "and if things go wrong...i want you to have everything. and i mean...everything."
you closed your eyes, sniffling as you tried to keep in the tears. you felt his hand touch your shoulder gently, soft circles to try and relax you.
"sign the papers," simon whispered. "just sign'em, and we can go home."
"no, i'll go home, and you can sit out in the fucking doghouse and think about how well it'll go if you ever ambush me like this again."
you flipped the papers back over, snatching the pen from john's outstretched hand and beginning to sign messily the highlighted lines on the papers. you finished, shoving the stack back across the table before kicking the chair out from behind you. it knocked simon's arm off roughly, but you just glared at him before making your way to the bar to sit. simon watched as the bartender poured you a generous drink.
"she's fuckin' pissed at you, and she sits at the bar instead of going home?"
"she's not allowed to go home without a ride," simon murmured. "a rule she knows well."
"sounds a bit--" john's voice cut short when he met simon's hard stare. john cleared his throat, tucking the papers back into his jacket. "'m gonna make sure these get filed."
"tonight," simon demanded.
"tonight," john echoed. "be all squared away."
simon folded his hands in front of him, swallowing hard as he looked at you at the bar. there were a few tears running down your face. simon hated seeing you cry; he hated even more that he was the cause of that pain, but in his eyes, this was a necessary evil.
"she's beautiful, simon."
"watch it, mate." there was no malice behind simon's response--it was more of an acknowledgement that yes indeed, she's beautiful. "this goes nowhere, cap'n. not johnny, not gaz, not laswell--"
"i know," john nodded. "i'll get it done."
john stood up to leave, and simon held onto his hand as they shook hands. he pulled him closer, staring right into his eyes.
"she gets...everything. every single bloody penny."
john nodded, letting go of him and finding his way out. simon turned his head back to the bar, watching you carefully. a man came up to you, presumably wanting to buy you a drink, but you spit something out at him which the man didn't like. simon leaned back in his chair, smirking under the mask when the man waddled outside with his hand holding his crotch and a hard, red face.
when simon closed the door behind you after stepping inside the apartment, you were quick to come closer to him. his hand twisted the locks, and then your arms were around his neck, hugging him close as you breathed in the scent of him. all of the sudden, you didn't hate the smell of cigarettes. burning cigarettes meant simon was breathing in, sucking in breath, alive.
"i'm sorry, luv," he murmured into your hair. "'m sorry i cornered you like that, but i needed to--"
"i just don't like thinking about it, simon--what the fuck would i do without you?"
"you've been without me before."
"not by choice, never by choice," you snapped. "you leave. and i just miss you." you push off the hood over his head, smoothing a hand down the back of his balaclava. "i know what you do is important. i know you're good at what you do. but while you're off saving the world..."
"don't do this to me," simon hissed. "don't play that fuckin' card."
"i can play that card all i like after tonight," you growled. "you wanna throw all that responsibility on me? the burden of carrying your cross if a bullet goes through your head? tough shit, simon! while you're off saving the world, i'm the one that gets left behind! i'm the one sitting at home, biting my nails until they bleed because i don't know if you're dead or alive!"
the room was quiet. so quiet, the creak of the floorboards sounding under you as simon gripped your hips tight. you beat a fist against his chest, letting more tears fall.
"it's not fair, simon," you whimpered. "all we've been through...everything that's happened..." you hiccuped gently. "it's not fair, you're so...you're so mean..."
"mean?" he looked hurt. a flash of it crossed his eyes, something sad.
"yes, you're mean," you whispered. "what you do to me is so mean..." you leaned in. "you touch me...you kiss me...you give me everything but then you expect me to just..." you sucked in a shaky breath. "...i don't know what i am to you, simon. i don't know what you want from me."
simon grunted at that. he was terrible with words. he didn't know how to express what he felt for you, how to tell you that you were it. that maybe instead of making you sign those papers, he should've gotten onto his knees and begged you to marry him. tied a thread around your ring finger and made price bear witness. but you were...this was already too far. living with you was too far, touching you was too far, tasting you was too far--he had enough self-control to leave before he went too far, but it killed him when he walked away from you.
so he got down on his knees. he turned you around, pushed on the small of your back until you were kneeling against the couch, ass up on your forearms as he found the button on your jeans and tugged them low. you didn't stop him, but you were still crying softly. simon wasted no time, getting behind you on his knees and tugging your panties down. he spread your ass with both hands after tugging his mask up, wasting no time as he leaned forward and buried his tongue between your folds.
"dunno what to call you," simon murmured. "no idea. all i know is that you're mine, luv--" you shoved your face into the cushions, whining as he slurped noisily, tracing letters into your cunt with his tongue and pressing kisses to the wet skin there. you were always so good for him--he never needed to get you ready, never needed to get you wet, you always seemed to know or maybe you were just that fucking needy for him that you were always this pretty between the legs when he was around. you were such a good girl--waiting, watching, smiling, she's so pretty, she's so beautiful, she's so good to me.
simon wasn't going to let a title take away the things you deserved if something happened to him. the comfort you needed, the security you were never promised, the love that simon always had but never voiced. you deserved it, and so help him, he would give it to you--he would take care of you even if he was six feet under, and there wasn't a move he didn't make that wasn't planned without you in mind.
how do i get back to her?
how i do i leave her without leaving?
how do i make sure she isn't lost even if she doesn't know where to go?
simon was the first man you ever loved. and he would be the last.
you were drooling. your eyes fluttering open and closed, your cheek squished against the cushions as simon ate your cunt from behind. it was filthy, deranged, sucking on your clit in the same place that you ate dinners and watched movies--now it was one of the places that simon ruined you again for any other man or woman or anyone who had their eye on you.
perfect, sweet little cunt--tight, tasted so good, something that could satiate the hunger on a man like him for days over. and simon was hungry. he had trauma; trauma that crawled into his dreams and turned them into nightmares, something that kept him from looking at women the way a man like him might, but he never felt that way with you. fuck, he was hard the minute he saw a sliver of your soft skin, had no problem gripping your plush ass in both hands and eating you furiously, not even a flicker of something angry in his head.
his brain turned off whenever he was with you. sex felt inevitable--hearing your cries wasn't something he wanted, it was something he needed. an angry need, one that had his tongue slipping up your folds and teasing your puckered hole before moving back down and curling inside your pretty cunt.
"c'mon, luv...c'mon, give it to me...give it to me, 'm not gonna ask again--"
you sobbed into the cushion as you came, rocking back against his mouth. you giggled with pleasure as you slid onto your stomach, simon's hands dragging your panties back up as he pressed soft kisses to the meat of your ass.
"'f someone comes around askin', sweetheart, you know what to tell'm."
you belong to a ghost. and that isn't a lie.
929 notes · View notes
blueparadis · 1 year
Text
❝ HONEY D[R]IPS ❞ + AL-HAITHAM
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+. CWs —» fem!sub!reader x service dom!al-haitham; virginity kink, size kink, praising,edging, orgasm denial, overstimulation, marking, oral act. word count — 1kish.
+. PRECIS —» al-haitham never imagined he can be tamed by a fragile creature like you.
+. NOTES —» there is a little bit of kaveh x reader & also al-haitham x kaveh cuz i refuse to seperate them. I'm in love their ‘chaos in the calm’ dynamic. totally not losing mind over him && you can read my works via NAVIGATION LINKS.
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Fragile; that was the word that flashed through his mind when al-haitham first laid his eyes on you as you walked into his life like a dashing wave on a lonely shore wrecking havoc in his mind, body, and soul.
Al-haitham hated it; the unknown feeling amongst his ribcage that made him hear his heartbeats loud and clear, even in the hubbub of a crowd. He is a man of few words unless Kaveh isn't around. Somehow Kaveh manages to create ripples of annoyance in his peaceful mind and it weathers his patience, day by day.
On the other hand, Kaveh tries his best to avoid getting so worked up upon Al-haitham's stimulation yet he can not seem to turn a blind eye to the fact that al-haitham is undeniably quiet in her presence, in your presence. Kaveh was delighted to find out that at least once, he could have the upper hand if al-haitham were to really disrespect him, or hurt his feelings. It did not turn out as he thought it would be.
When Kaveh noticed that Al-haitham's emerald eyes were not on the book's rusty pages but peeking through the book's frame, lips twisting and occasionally turning whenever you are about to leave his sight he knew he could not use this as his wild card but watching him like this is more agonizing than getting yelled at by him. 
“Quit staring. it’s creepy.”, Kaveh uttered slamming the book on the table to gain his roommate’s attention. Al-haitham’s eyes shifted from her to his senior, as he whispered, “I wasn’t”, like a lovesick fool. At that moment, Kaveh knew he was hopeless. Not only he flat-out denied his fondness for her but also refused to act. “Guess it’s the other way ‘round”, he hisses before beckoning her in his direction shouting her name from the bottom of his lungs in the library. What an incredible idea to get her attention!
Al-haitham thinks his life hasn’t been livelier before. Watching you talk with his not-so-cool senior, and hearing your giggles, complaints, and tantrums was more than he could ask for. It did not bother him how you were always like a blooming flower around Kaveh. As for Kaveh, he would not go that far as having you as Al-haitham wants. He is satisfied just getting al-haitham worked up once in a while but after a few attempts, Al-haitham got used to it.
What he was not used to is you, your innocence around him, the unalloyed conscience. It drove him insane so much so that he started to observe you more, thinking about the minute details about you like would there be any mole like the one near her chin? Does she always wear light-colored clothes? Is her nipples same the color as her lips? how would she look underneath him, naked and . . .
It has been days since he started to think of you, in a very particular way, thought of getting close to you, and discarded the habit of staring at you through the frame of the book. He was tempted to touch himself, to relieve himself from this ache but he wanted to be over once and for all, not in installments, not in the dead of night jacking off in the bathroom.
And now, here you were underneath him, just like he imagined. 
Beads of perspiration sedimented at the lining of his forehead, fingertips being rigid, heart beating like drums, and all because his cock would not fit in your pussy. He has eaten you out for hours, tasted you to the very core, fondled your boobs till you were moaning loudly, shamelessly, sucked and bit your pebbled nipples until they were bruised and yet it was not enough. 
every time you were screaming, telling him to stop fingering you he would not. “You’re about to cum angel.”, he mentioned, eyes focused on ready to pull out the moment your legs give up to hold them apart again that are craving to shut close as to submerge in the euphoric high; so that he would have you creaming on his cock rather than his fingers. 
Tears like raindrops accumulate at the corner of your eyes as he tries to push his fat cock inside you and then retreats thinking he might hurt you as you lay blanking out, reflexively playing with your boobs, biting your bottom lip, whimpering, “so..sorry.”, as he brushes the tip of his cock up and down, over your pussy lips.
He shushes, leaning to kiss those bruised swollen lips murmuring, “shhh…shhsh angel. Just relax for me, yea? Can you do that?” you nod anticipating what is going to happen next, curling your arms around his shoulders as he adds in further, “tell me if it hurts. i’ll  stop ‘kay?”
“Um-hm”
He aligns the cock to your entrance and as he had your eyes on him, he pushes his cock in with a single broad thrust making your arms instantly fly back over your head gripping the edge of the pillow, wincing in pain, and gasping at the feeling of being full. He grits his teeth feeling the warmth of your gummy walls and sheathing his cock, halfway through.
“It..hu..hurts…”, you blurt out, eyes squeezing shut, body arching and suddenly feeling more full than before. 
“Want me to … to pull out?”, he asks exhaustively grazing the tip of his nose against your neckline. You pull him into a kiss bucking your hips up trying to take him all in and then gasping as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix.
Al-haitham watches you meticulously: eyes rolling white you squirm underneath him sensing a knot in your belly button that is slowly building up its moment as you adjust to his girth. “Yo’r so good for me, angel.”, starting to kiss along your glistening neckline. He is relishing the feeling of being inside you. Finally, he is fucking that pussy that has been driving him crazy for days. How can it be over just a few minutes? 
@tokyometronetwork.
7K notes · View notes
dirtyyoungthing · 16 days
Text
they say that older men do it better, and by god, they fucking do.
as some of you know, i’ve only ever been with one person. never really been one for hookups or anything like that, but i figure i’m young, in the prime of my life… why not fool around? i, after consulting my roommate, downloaded an app for hookups and set my age range up a bit. 30+.
this app allows you to list kinks and sexual preferences, but i really wanted to make sure i left the proper hints about myself around my profile. cute gifs. a question about preferred sexual positions, to which i replied, “mating press, or any position that makes me feel small and helpless.” i made sure to use my cutest photos, showing off my glossy lips and sweet doe eyes, my hair pulled into cute handles pigtails. before long i was scrolling and swiping through the app, lounging in bed as i daydreamed about getting my sweet little cunt pounded by an older man.
i didn’t have the app for more than an hour or two before i got the notification that i had gotten a match. i couldn’t help but kick my feet a bit when i checked to see who it was… he was older, handsome, tall, with really gorgeous long hair. his profile was one of the first ones i had seen; it was funny and made me laugh, and he couldn’t help but lightly boast about his big dick (energy). how could i not like him?
he sent me a message commenting on the position i had mentioned on my profile, saying that it seemed to fit well with breeding kinks. he also asked me if i was a squishmallow fan, and i couldn’t help but giggle.
[🫣 is it that obvious? i used to collect, but not so much anymore.]
[It is, but in a good way! You just had that cute plush kinda look!]
it was then i knew that this man would make me whine and whimper into his mattress. i couldn’t help but curl my toes a bit at the thought. we flirt a bit more, he shows me photos of some of the plushies he owns. i compliment them and say that, “everyone needs something soft and squeezable to get them through their days.”
[You look soft and squeezable js 🥴]
i need to fuck this man.
[i definitely definitely am 🤭 maybe you could find out just how soft and squeezable sometime?]
[I would LOVE that. I could totally also get you a plushie too.]
[oh gosh, i couldn’t accept anything from you 😭 you’re so so sweet though!!]
[Good girls deserve to be rewarded 😌]
….oh GOD!!!!!
he asks me if i’ve eaten, if i’m free tonight. we make plans for him to pick me up and take me to a restaurant right by his place. i give him my number and hop in the shower. if i wasn’t under such a time crunch i would have taken the time to touch my aching, excited little cunt as i cleaned my body, but i had to focus.
picking what to wear on a date is difficult. picking what to wear on a date when you know you’re going to get possibly the best dick you’ve gotten in your life is torture. does this look good? how does this make my chest look? ugh, i hate my arms in this top! my roommate, angel that she is, saved my night and my sanity by lending me the cutest outfit. a tight tile printed dress with spaghetti straps, which i wore a white t-shirt under. she also lent me a pair of platform mary janes for the evening. it had been a minute since i had worn anything so tall, and i couldn’t help but teeter a bit. it made me feel all the cuter though. a cute little bimbo like me, stumbling around in shoes i can hardly walk in so an older man can fuck my sweet little pussy… i shook the thought away as i did my makeup. focus!!!
i gave him my address, and he arrived on time in a really really nice car. he got out to greet me and gave me a sweet hug, and i couldn’t help but notice how he towered over me. my thighs clenched together as i felt myself get wet (or maybe wetter…). we got into the car and on the road. he’s so funny, and so so charming. he puts his hand on my thigh and i swear i nearly passed out. i pushed away thoughts of palming him through his jeans, of taking his cock out and sucking it right there in the car… focus up, girl!!
he was so wonderful. at one point, i’m talking about something that was probably unimportant (as most things i say tend to be), and he grabs my hand and starts pressing gentle, tender kisses to my fingers. i clenched my thighs a bit tighter as i lost my train of thought and trailed off.
we arrive at the restaurant, which is thankfully very close to his place. he parks and comes around to open my door, and we walk hand in hand into the restaurant. his hand is so much bigger than mine… we get seated and order a crème brûlée to share, as we had talked about it on the ride there (it was fantastic btw, incase you’re wondering. you probably aren’t, but it’s my blog damn u and i will talk about whatever i want!!). the place is a bit loud, so we had to lean forward in order to hear each other when we talk. i loved being closer to him like that, and couldn’t help but crave more of it.
we finish the dessert and head to his place. he introduced me to his cats before we settled onto his couch to talk a bit more. at one point he pulls me close and we finally start kissing. i was worried about my kissing skills, but it was so easy to follow his lead, to whimper into his mouth as he bit my lower lip. my hands moved to finally, finally rub him through his pants. oh. oh my god. denim, as you are probably aware, is a constricting material, but even as his cock strained against the fabric i could tell he was big.
we moved to his bedroom after a bit more kissing and rubbing. he moved around me, kissing on my neck, using his mouth’s hot air in ways i never realized were possible. i felt myself become cute little putty in his hands. i wanted to be the best little girl for this man i possibly could be. he did me the favor of removing his impossible belt, and i got onto my knees on the floor as i undid the button and zipper to his pants. i pulled his jeans down and rubbed the tent in his boxers for a moment before finally sliding them down. his cock sprang forth, and i swear i felt my jaw drop. oh dear sweet whatever you are in the sky, thank you. thank you so fucking much. he was huge. i had never seen anything that big in person before, and if i’m being honest, i was a little intimidated. i felt confident in my blowjob skills, but my last partner was considerably smaller. c’mon. be a big girl. you can do it.
i take his cock in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it as i do my best to take him deep down my throat. the noises he made, oh god… i swear i still hear them in my head randomly when i’m doing things around the house. i gagged a bit and pulled back, spitting out a bit of drool on his cock and using it as lube to jerk him off with while i caught my breath for a moment. “good girl,” he purred. i went right back to work, desperate and aching to hear more of his praise. i loved running my tongue over a certain spot on the underside of his cock; watching his eyes screw shut every time just got me wetter and wetter.
i could have sucked his cock for hours if he let me, but he pulled me off and held me in his arms so he could kiss me more as he helped me slide my clothes off. i’ll never forget his quiet, “oh, god,” as he finally saw my tits. he got my bra off and sucked on my sensitive nipples, flicking his tongue over the nub as i whined.
he had me lay on the bed and moved between my thighs. he pressed soft, tender kisses to my thighs that made my hips shift and buck in a desperate plea for him to please touch my pussy oh god please please please. finally, finally, he licks my cunt with a deft, practiced motion that could only come from experience an older man has. he fully devours me. the things this man could do with his mouth were downright sinful… i’ve never cum from oral before, but that night, after he slipped his fingers inside me, i couldn’t help but gush.
he moved to grab a condom, slipping it on before positioning himself on top of me. i felt my body tremble slightly at the prospect of taking something so large in my tight little cunt, but he was so sweet, so hot, that i knew i was wet enough. he ran the tip of his cock over my aching slit as i whimpered. slowly, ever so slowly, he slid into me. i find myself quivering just writing about it. i’m sure i was trembling under him, but after he bottomed out inside me my memory gets all fuzzy and it’s difficult to remember a whole lot.
i remember feeling so full, so fucking full as i moaned and cried out for him. i remember cumming over and over and over again on his huge cock. i remember sucking on his fingers as he pounded into me in an effort to keep me quiet (which like, half worked). i remember him caging his arms around me, growling in my ear as i begged him to cum, to breed me, to breed his little girl. we both came at the exact same time, moaning as our bodies melted together.
we catch our breath, clean up. he helps me find my discarded clothes in the pile that accumulated on his floor. i text my roommate and try to hide my smile.
[IM ALIVE]
[AND CAME]
[SO MUCH]
[SO MUCH TO TELL U]
[AHHHH YES BITCH]
he drives me home as we chat more, both still a bit breathless and awash with endorphins. once we arrive at my place, he opens my door once more and we kiss one final time before we say goodnight. i wish him a safe trip home as i limp to the door and let myself in. you know that thing that happens in movies, where the girl has a really good date, and she leans against the door after he leaves? i always thought that was silly, but… i just couldn’t help it.
the next day i’m out picking up dinner with a friend. we text a bit.
[Not at ALL complaining just still surprised at how dirty you are haha]
[you truly don’t know the half of it 🫣🤭💖]
[Tell me!]
[it might be better if i just, like, showed youuu?]
and then i sent him a link to this blog. and i felt like my heart was gonna sink into my stomach. i’m into some harder things, i didn’t wanna scare him off… my phone buzzed.
[I love this]
[thank GOD!! i was terrified you’d like, run for the hills or something 😭💕]
[I’m only disappointed about one thing…]
[hm?]
[You need to write about how good you got fucked last night]
when i tell you that my body essentially did a full factory reset…
[😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫]
[yes daddy]
[Good girl]
[Tell me when you post it]
he was hot. he was funny. he was dominant. he could make me cum so much my brain leaked out of my ears. and now he was giving me assignments. like a daddy should.
so now here i am, finishing up probably the longest piece of writing i’ve done in a long time. and there you are, reading it. hi. hope you had a good time.
i hope to see you again soon. 💖
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skzdarlings · 1 year
Text
03. sharing a bed series ; skz ; changbin
masterlist.
sharing a bed series part 3/8. because it’s the cheesiest most classic trope and it’s FUN. -
pairing: changbin/reader content info: explicitly plus size reader. sexual content. friends2lovers, sharing a bed trope. lingerie. teasing. reading and watching porn. a bit of spanking. not so much choking but throat-holding. penetrative sex.
;)
-
Oh god, you think, staring at your suitcase full of lingerie, what the fuck do I do?
You like beautiful things and you love lingerie.  Your suitcase is brimming with pretty nighties and delicate babydolls, a luxury indulged for your own sake but completely inappropriate given the circumstances. 
You thought you would have your own hotel room this holiday, but after a few friends dropped out of the trip, there was some last minute shuffling, and now—
“Yah! Where’s my toothbrush?”     
Changbin is your hotel roommate for the weekend.  Just you, him, and a single king-sized bed. 
Oh, and your suitcase full of lingerie. 
You slam the luggage shut, spinning around to look at him as he emerges from the bathroom in a frantic state of his own. 
It takes a second to register his question, your eyes wide as you look him over from head to toe.  His dark hair is damp from a shower and he is wearing nothing but a bath towel.  He holds it shut at his hip, a sturdy thigh flashing when the towel parts.  His body is one mouth-watering slab of big, broad bulk, and you find yourself clutching your own ample chest as if that will stop your heart from stampeding out. 
“Ah, there,” Changbin says, strutting past you.  Absent-mindedly, he says, “I’m almost done, then you can shower.” 
The few minutes it will take him to brush his teeth will not be enough for you.  Your efforts to find suitable sleepwear are completely futile.  In the end, you settle on the simplest nightie with the fullest body, even if it is a bit transparent. 
You take your turn in the bathroom after him.   When it comes time to change, you slip into the nightie and stare agape at your own reflection. 
Oh god, you think.  This is a disaster. 
This is your most conversative piece and it is still wildly sexy.  You love your bigger body and you love dressing to accentuate its features, and this piece is no exception.  Full thighs and fuller breasts and full curves spill up and over the tighter places.  The little panties are swallowed up by your plushy ass and no matter how much you adjust the neck of the nightie, it continues to fall in the most suggestive way possible. 
You look hot.  If anyone else was waiting for you in that hotel bed, you would be fine.   But it’s Changbin.  Your close friend Changbin.  Your close, hot, loud, insane, sexy, confident, drool-worthy, muscle pig friend Changbin. 
You sigh, resigned to your fate.  There is nothing more you can do. 
You pop open the bathroom door and stick your head around the corner.  Changbin is lounging in bed, dressed in a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, an arm thrown over his head as he watches something on his phone.   His hair has dried fluffy and he is smiling at whatever he’s watching.
“Changbin,” you say.  “Close your eyes.” 
He does the opposite, like the stupid hot dummy he is, looking up at you.  You get a swoop in your gut just from his curious glance, his messy hair, the comfort he radiates laying in your shared bed.   It really is unfair how he is a hundred different styles of sexy at once.  This is the same guy who was working out shirtless on the beach lawn just an hour ago, the same guy who showed up to dinner in designer glasses and a form-fitting jumpsuit, the same guy who was cuddling you in a hammock wearing a big hoodie and board shorts.  Surely he could try and have the decency to look bad at least once.    
“I said close!” you repeat. 
“Ah! What!”  He does it, even if he is confused, lowering his arm and covering his eyes.  “There!  Stop yelling at me!”
“You’re yelling, not me!”
“I’m not yelling!”
You are both yelling.  But his eyes are closed so you make a mad dash for your luggage, tossing your day clothes haphazardly with a little wince for the mistreatment of your pretty things.  But you need to be fast, shoving your clothes in your suitcase so you can dive under the covers before Changbin inevitably gets bored and—
“What are you wearing?” Changbin says. 
“Changbiiiin!”  You turn around with a furious scowl, crossing your arms over your chest.  “I told you to close your eyes!”
“What, forever?  I thought we were done!”
“Well, we’re not!  Close them!”
“But I already—”
“Close!”
He grumbles a curse to himself but closes his eyes, laying back with his arms stubbornly crossed.  You turn away to zip your luggage, shaking your head.  You also fight down a giggle, one bubbling up from the tiniest bit of delight caused by Changbin’s dropped jaw and wide eyes as he thoroughly drank in the sight of you.   
You turn around to find him peeking, one eye open.  He is one second too late closing it again. 
“I saw that,” you say.
“Saw what?” he says.  “I missed it.  My eyes are closed.”
“Uh-huh.”  You walk up to the bed and fold back the covers, eyes on him the whole time.  You put your hands on your hips when he cracks open one eye again.   “Pervert,” you say, with a snort of amusement.
“Me?”  He opens both eyes and gestures wildly.  “Look what you’re wearing!  How am I the pervert?” 
“You’re in boy lingerie so be quiet.”
“What!”   
“The grey sweatpants with the dick print.”  You point to his lap.  “Boy lingerie.”   
“Ahhh! Ah! Hey!  Have some principles.  That’s reverse sexism.  You should be ashamed of yourself.”  He wags a scolding finger you at you.  Then, for good measure, he grabs a pillow and puts it in his lap.  “Stop objectifying me.”   
You laugh in spite of yourself, climbing onto the bed.   You put a comforting hand on his shoulder.   
“I thought I was sleeping alone,” you say.  “I’m sorry.  If you have a big shirt I can sleep in, I don’t mind changing.” 
“You wearing that,” Changbin says, giving you a very thoughtful once-over that makes your whole body tingle, “or you wearing my shirt.”  He lifts the pillow and looks under it.  “What do you think?” he says, as if consulting his dick. 
“You’re so stupid!”  You hate how much you are laughing at this goofball.  You roll your eyes even while giggling.  “I’m going to sleep.  Have a fun conversation with your little friend.”
“Ah! He’s not little,” Changbin says, as if very offended.  “He’s average height and girthy, like me.”
“Nice try but you’re not average height and ew, oh my god, don’t say girthy.” 
“Girthy.”      
“I can’t hear you,” you say, sliding under the covers.  You pull them up to your chin and lay on your side with your back to him.  “I’m already sleeping,” you say. 
“How am I supposed to sleep now!” he says.   
“That’s not my problem!”
He grumbles some more while you snicker.  Eventually he turns off the light and gets under the covers too.  You both go on your phones, the little white lights illuminating the bed.  You glance over your shoulder to see him laying with his back to you, watching videos on mute.  You turn back to your phone and open your reading app, deciding you can squeeze in a chapter or two of your current romance. 
You are reading about the latest duke’s pulsating member and his lady’s quivering thighs when Changbin turns over.  You are too slow hiding your phone.   
“Are you reading porn?” he asks, reaching out and snatching your phone. 
“It’s not porn!”  You sit up to grab it back but he holds it away.  “It’s literature!”
“It’s porn,” he says, bursting into peels of giggles that should be ridiculous coming out of that buff body, but they only make you laugh too.
“Changbiiiin,” you whine through your own laughter, rolling half on top of him to try and grab your phone.  “Give it baaaack.  It’s not porn.” 
“He throbbed as pleasure conquered his senses and ERUPTED LIKE A FORCE OF VOLCANIC NATURE—!”       
“Stooooop!”
“That sounds painful,” Changbin muses. 
You finally snatch your phone back and promptly toss it off the bed.  It lands with a little thump.  
Changbin is laying on his back and giggling like a child, poorly stifled teeheehees that do not relent even when you lean over him with your most intimidating face.   
“That’s not fair,” you say.  “You have to show me yours now.” 
That gets him to look at you with surprise, tilting his head.  You do not miss when his eyes go to your chest, especially because it lingers there for a very long moment.  He touches his bottom lip, flicking his tongue over his thumb absently before finally meeting your gaze. 
“What?” he says.  “Did you say something?” 
“Show me your porn,” you say. 
“My—what!  Get down.”  He bats you away and crosses his arms.  “I will remind you I am a man of principle.  I have convictions.  Unlike you, I don’t keep demeaning pornographic content on hand at all times.  I have too much respect for the human form and the sanctity of intimacy and lovemaking.”  
You blink at him.
“Fine,” he says, and picks up his phone.  “Don’t blame me for any volcanic eruptions.” 
Once he has his bookmarks open, you take his phone and roll over, ignoring his protests.  You hold the phone out and click a link at random, even with him pressed right up against your back as he tries to steal it back.  You wriggle in his lap, making him squeak, either because your ass is pushing at his junk, or because of the video that opens. 
“Oh my,” you say.  
It’s a point-of-view video, a man’s hand sliding down a very soft, curvy body.  Your own body perks with interest when his thumb glides down her wet pussy, teasing her lips apart before sliding inside.  Changbin makes a strangled noise that you hardly register, staring as the man in the video slowly fingerfucks the woman, a woman not unlike you in proportion and general appearance. 
“I can explain—ah, hey! Why are you skipping?”  Changbin’s somewhat embarrassed tone shifts midsentence to indignation as you tap to fast forward.   
“I wanna get to the good part!”
“The good—?  Yah! You’re so impatient!” 
You ignore him, fast forwarding until you see a dick then letting it play. 
Changbin has given up on trying to get his phone back.  He makes a sound of miserable defeat and thunks his forehead against the back of your head.  You bite your bottom lip, flushed from head to toe, your thighs especially squirmy as need gathers between them.   You watch the woman in the video turn over until she is on all fours.  The man pushes inside her and you watch the way her body moves when he thrusts deeply.  His hand comes down in a sharp slap, making you twitch with wanting.
“I like that,” you say, aware of Changbin growing hard against your backside.   You feel him twitch at your comment.   When you skip ahead in the video again, he doesn’t speak.  You stop when the man wraps his hand around the woman’s throat and you smile.  “Like that too.”  
He is rock hard against your ass.  Either he thinks staying still means you can’t feel it or he wants you to feel it.  Testing, you grind slowly against him. 
He grabs your hip through the blankets. 
“Ah, you.”  He squeezes your hip.  “No teasing.” 
“No?” you ask, wriggling just a little more.  “None at all?” 
There is a brief pause, then he slides his hand under the covers to hold your waist directly.  It is a slow, questioning motion, leaving you time to refuse.   When you don’t, he slides his hand down to stroke your thigh. 
You put his phone aside, the screen going dark, its contents forgotten as you turn your head.   He slips one arm under you, his hand cupping a breast at the same time his other hand goes between your legs.  When he kisses you, you open your mouth to immediately deepen it.  He does, licking at you and sucking your bottom lip, grinding in a slow circle against you.   It makes you ache, squirming in his strong embrace, his fingers only just hovering where you need him. 
“Shh, it’s okay,” he says when you start bucking and whining into his kiss.  He kisses you too deeply for you to protest his teasing, but then he finally hooks his fingers in your panties to draw them to the side. 
You get dizzy, either from kissing more than breathing or just his overwhelming presence.  When he touches you and feels how wet you already are, he makes a low sound and curses. 
“Ch—Changbin,” you say, breathy and a little senseless already.  “Please.” 
He moves swiftly, manhandling you with ease and care.  You turn over and he pushes the blankets away to get up behind you.  You whimper into the sheets when he tugs you into a better position, then he is drawing your panties to the side again and stroking your whole pussy from clit to entrance and back again.  His fingers are soaked by the time he puts them inside you, strong arm finding a steady rhythm quickly.  Combined with a couple sharp smacks to your ass, you come apart with a cry, whole body shaking as you grind back on his hand. 
You sink into the bedsheets, eyes closed, panting.  You feel his hand wet hand cup your thigh, then his fingers spreading your pussy open.  You clench around nothing and hear him curse. 
You look over your shoulder at him.  Even though you were the one who came, he looks completely wrecked, his fluffy black hair a dishevelled mess and his jaw clenched, shoulders tense.  You look a little lower, staring at the thick bulge in his sweats. 
It’s him who speaks first, his voice rough when he says, “You look… do you have any idea…” 
“You’re not wearing underwear, are you,” is what you end up saying, giggling.  “Boy lingerie.  Told you.” 
He snorts, grinning, looking more cocky than chagrined.  That expression morphs to curiosity and hope when you reach for a make-up bag sitting on the head-table. 
“Yes,” he says, when you pull a string of condoms out of it.  For some reason, it’s the funniest response he could have given, and you giggle a little more.  Those giggles come to a stop when he pulls your panties down, then rolls down the band of his sweatpants down too.  
Your mouth falls open.  “Wow,” you say.  “You are—”
“Girthy?”
“Don’t make me change my mind.” 
He mimes zipping his lips shut before taking the condom. 
You accidentally untuck the bedspread when he finally gets inside you.  One corner comes undone, and the second one follows when he starts fucking you in earnest.  It’s a good, full stretch, and you moan into the messy bedspread as he grabs your hips to pull you into every thrust.  You swear you see stars when he slides one hand up and around your neck, lifting your head and holding you by the throat as he fucks into you.  He slows down a bit to rub at your clit, making you come and spasm around him, before he drives himself quickly to completion. 
You end up sprawled facedown on the undone bed, your nightie in a state of disarray and your panties god knows where.  He flops down beside you, breathing hard, still pretty much dressed.  Once he’s caught his breath, he looks at you, smiling when he reaches out to brush some hair out of your face. 
You smile back, rolling into his open arms.  You rest your head on his chest and exhale.
Then, knowing it’ll get a reaction because he’s Changbin, you say, “That wasn’t bad.”
“Not bad!” he says, predictably loud.  “What do you mean not bad?  That was amazing.  Come here.”  He’s laughing now, pulling you close when you laugh and try to roll away.  “Get back here.  I’ll show you not bad.” 
3K notes · View notes
literaila · 3 months
Text
house rules (roommate au)
gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary:
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else."
warnings: mentions of alcohol and drinking, slight angst, mentions of tampons (terrifying), suggestive comments, absurdly long, alternate universe characters
a/n: to all of my frequent readers--i have never claimed to be sane :)
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*
in the broad spectrum of things, opening the door in nothing but your bathrobe and a ridiculously bright orange clay mask is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. 
oh no, puking on your first ever date at seventeen definitely takes the cake. finding your seventh-grade friends bent over a table reading your diary--in which you wrote many explicit things about them, not to mention, yourself--might be even worse. riding your bike into the pond by your house in front of all of your--much older, much cooler--neighbors, even. picking up your coffee in your favorite cafe and spilling it, which was not only devastating but humiliating because you managed to spill your mocha on every other drink waiting there (effectively banning you from returning) still haunts your dreams. even walking down the street and trying to pretend like you didn't just trip over air in front of every single one of your peers still lingers in your mind, waiting for a moment of peace before it attacks.
you're used to the feeling of dread in your stomach and the nights spent thinking about all of these moments, like a scrapbook in your mind--just there to make your skin itch. 
but, it does get a little bit worse when you realize the man you've opened the door to is none other than a potential roommate; and when you remember that you forgot he was coming. 
or when you have to pull your robe tighter around your abdomen just to make sure that you don't give this man a show before you even shake his hand. 
"is this apartment 214?" he asks, looking right at you--and your legs, naturally--with a confused grin on his face, but grin nonetheless. 
so immediately you slam the door. 
you turn around, with wide eyes, face crackling from the movement, and check your phone frantically. yes, it is the 18th, and yes it is 11:32, which means he was supposed to be here over a half-an-hour ago. 
and also you've just slammed the door in his--satoru gojo, the only person who's even bothered to respond to your ad about an available room--face. 
oh, fuck. 
so you groan, refraining from knocking your head against the door just in case he can still hear, and open it again. a little bit less this time. 
"gojo?" you ask, voice rough and slightly irritated. 
"the one and only. i'm pretty sure this is the right apartment," he says, and you don't fail to notice his tone of voice as he continues, "but if it's not, then fate must've brought us together."
you narrow your eyes, hoping that he doesn't notice the specks of dust that ebb from your skin. "you're late." 
"and you're less than dressed." 
"i thought you stood me up." 
he snorts. "so you started an impromptu spa day? or was this supposed to be another perk of the apartment?" 
you glower, opening the door a bit more just so he can see the fury in your eyes. "i don't think someone who doesn't even text to cancel has any right to judge my self-care practices." 
"i didn't cancel. i'm here." 
"you're late." 
"so i've heard..." he drawls. 
you blink at him, and he blinks back--or at least, you're assuming. because he's wearing sunglasses even though it's cloudy outside. 
and he's aggressively taller than you. he might not even fit through the door. 
you don't look away, waiting for him to break. which he does because you're well-practiced in men of his standard. "so, are you going to let me in?" he asks. 
"are you going to apologize for being late?" 
"i'm sorry that i'm late," he says, immediately, with an air of fake sincerity. "i got stuck in traffic. i would've called, but my phone died." 
"really?" 
the smile reappears, as if from magic. "no, but did it make you want to let me in?" 
you glare even harder--which is tough, honestly--and begin to shut the door. until your plan is interrupted by a foot. "excuse you," you say, to this man, who you already hate. and his stupid chelsea boots.
"look, i'm sorry. i'm trying to ease the tension--because honestly i wasn't expecting to get an eyeful this early in the morning, and you seem uncomfortable--" 
you slam the door against his foot again. 
gojo doesn't even wince. "and also, you're, like, the only person with a room in the middle of october. and i... could really use a place to put my bed. so, can i look around, at least? i'll keep my eyes closed every time i'm facing your direction. i can even give you my rent money today if it works out."  
something in his voice already implies that it will. 
and, well. despite your very short robe and your very dry face mask, he is the only person who's even inquired about the room. and you desperately need a roommate; someone to clean up with, someone to make coffee for, someone to argue about toilet paper direction with, and, most importantly, someone who has money and can keep you from getting evicted from the only place you've lived since high school. 
so you sigh. think about moving back home and suffering at the will of your parents. 
it takes about three seconds to say, "will you wait out here while i get dressed?" 
an eyebrow peeks out from behind the sunglasses, as white as his hair. "how long?" 
"ten minutes. maybe twenty." 
"do you have a chair?" he asks and moves his foot from the door. 
and so you close it without answering and rush to your room to find something that's still clean. 
there's nothing that you'll actually wear, but satoru gojo doesn't deserve your fresh appearance anyway. he can have day-old wrinkled jeans and a t-shirt you got when you were twelve. 
as slow as humanly possible, you remove the face mask, trying to keep your hair out of the way, and think about putting on makeup--which you probably would have done, had you remembered he was even coming--but decide not to. 
in reality, it only takes about seven minutes for you to look mostly presentable and get rid of the mugs you left cluttered around the dining room table. 
but you wait an extra four, just to mess with him. 
and then, eleven minutes later, you open the door again to the man leaning against the wall, playing what looks like candy crush on his phone. 
you attempt a fake smile. 
"hey," he says, with that same grin, "you have clothes." 
you drop your face. "i will close this." 
he isn't phased, just pockets his phone and leans in to look behind you at the entryway. 
you roll your eyes, but open the door anyway, and usher him in. he rubs his feet against your welcome mat and toys with a keychain you have hanging from a coat rack, then looks to you, like he's waiting for a tour. which, you guess, he is.
"there's only two rooms, one bath. it's not very big, so if you need a lot of space..." 
"i can manage," he says, and follows you as you walk into the kitchen. "did you decorate?" 
"um... sort of." 
"sort of?" 
"i, uh, had a roommate before and he bought most of the decorations before i moved in. but i've added a few things. i'm not picky about aesthetics." 
gojo hums. "why'd he move out?" 
"we were together and he cheated on me," you say, flatly, as you have been for the past month and a half. "and then told me i couldn't use his netflix account anymore after i broke up with him." 
gojo merely blinks and gestures toward the wall behind you. "so you didn't buy that dancing frog thing?" 
you turn around, rolling your eyes. "no. i forgot that was there." 
"okay, good, 'cause that's hideous." 
you snort, but nod your head and walk down the hallway. gojo's footsteps follow you as you open the door to his potential bedroom. "it's the bigger of the two," you tell him, "but the bathroom is next to mine." 
"did you change rooms?" 
"what?" 
"when your ex moved out. why take the smaller one?" 
"oh," you rub a finger against the wall, rubbing dust off of it. "it was his room before we got together. and then we shared my current room. this was his man... den?" you try, shaking your head. "gaming room? slaughterhouse?" 
gojo snorts. 
"what?" 
"oh, nothing," he says, airy like he's teasing you. "just curious."
you step back so he can walk around, check the carpets for stains, or look for drywall you could've hidden a body behind. but he doesn't, only watches you as you furrow your brows. 
"you're not going to look around?" 
"it looks like the pictures." 
"yeah, but what if there are, like, bugs in the carpet? blood on the walls?" 
"are there bugs in the carpet?" he asks. "blood on the walls?" 
"not that i know of..." 
"great, then it's perfect," he says, and steps out of the room again, whistling as he goes. 
this time, you follow him, like he's the one giving the tour. 
he pauses at the door a couple of feet down. "this your room?" 
"yes." 
"can i see?" 
you scowl. "no. what do you mean 'it's perfect?'"
"i mean, i'd like to live here. it's nice. besides the frog." 
you lean against the wall, trying to inspect him for any mechanical parts. is this a ploy? some joke? "you've barely been here five minutes." 
"twenty with all the time i waited outside..." 
"you can't just take one look and say 'yup, this is good.'" 
"can't you?" he asks, challenging. 
"no." 
gojo's grin seems to widen, impossibly. "well, i'm not picky." 
and somehow you doubt that. 
but you don't get the chance to tell him that, or anything else, because he leans against the wall, still smiling at you, and asks, "so, are we roommates now?" 
"you haven't even seen the lease. or heard about the house rules." 
"house rules?" he repeats, dubiously. like you're making this up (which you are). 
"yes." 
"such as?" 
"no..." you pause, 'cause this is a fickle argument. something about his stupid smile makes you want to argue with him. or maybe it's the hair. or the sunglasses. "murdering anyone in the apartment." 
he laughs, unexpectedly, and sighs. "well, i guess i'll take my murdering someplace else." 
"and... you can't leave any utensils in the sink." 
"okay." 
"and i'm not cleaning up any beard shavings, or sharing my tampons with you, or any people you have over." 
"these are very extensive," he says, unserious. "anything else?" 
"i..." your brows furrow. "no hogging the bathroom. hot water is fickle. and you have to recycle." 
"it might be challenging, but we'll figure it out." 
"these are not negotiable." 
he only continues to smile at you. 
eventually, after staring back with a frown that feels slightly permanent for more than a minute, you sigh again. at least you won't have to worry about moving out. 
"fine. you still want to live here?" 
"mmhmm." 
"okay," and you stick your hand out for him to shake like this is a business transaction. 
and it seems that you'll be seeing a lot more of that grin in the future. 
*
living with satoru gojo is not... well, it's not hard. he's a normal enough roommate. 
he pays his rent on time and doesn't touch the coffee you make in the morning most days--coughing when he does. he man spreads on the couch and watches movies way too loud and doesn't hang his bag up at the door, preferring to, instead, set it on the counter like a maniac. he whistles when he walks, and wears his stupid sunglasses 80% of the time, and grins at you when you're irritated, and, honestly, he's not really half bad. 
he doesn't leave any huge messes for you to clean up (mostly because he doesn't use the kitchen or the dining table ever). he doesn't invite people over that keep you up all night (because he's gone most nights). and, actually, he keeps the bathroom quite clean (even if he takes up well more than half of the shower space with his weird face creams and deep conditioning treatments). 
but satoru gojo is hard. 
it's not what he does, but rather who he is. with his infuriating good looks--taking up most of the fair share for the rest of the population--and his subtle charm, which, if you didn't know who he was, might actually work on you, and his morning voice and his messy hair and just the way he lives. 
like breathing is just what he's supposed to be doing. like he doesn't need to worry about a thing because nothing should matter if he decides he doesn't want it to. 
so easygoing and naturally intuitive and far too exhausting for you. 
because, as a fatal flaw of your own, you love to mess with him. somedays you'll hope he shows up just so you have someone to fight with. just so you'll be irritated instead of stressed, frustrated instead of exhausted. 
it's kind of addicting, in a way. and masochistic, but you've never claimed to be completely sane. 
and honestly, gojo's just asking for it. 
after a mere month of living with his aura around, you come to expect his cockiness. you live to take him down a notch.
so when he's up this early in the morning, whistling like it's his god-given right, you scowl at him just as he enters the room. 
"woah," he says, sliding on a bar stool in front of you. "starting early this morning?" 
"you're banned from talking to me until noon." 
"is this about the ice cream i ate? cause there was only a little left..." 
"no it's--" you pause, frowning at him. "you ate my ice cream?" 
he lays his entire torso on the counter, pathetically. "i was dying, okay? low blood sugar was going to kill me, and i couldn't see anything else but that ice cream and it wasn't even very good anyway, so, really, i was saving you from having to endure the rest of it." 
"you ate my ice cream?" you repeat. 
"i'll buy you more. a better kind. and then you'll understand that i was doing you a favor." 
"i might kill you." 
"i thought we banned homicide from the apartment." 
"i was going to eat that," you whine, shoving his hands away from trying to grab your mug. 
he smiles, too bright for so early in the morning. "yesterday you told me sweets weren't an appropriate breakfast." 
you scoff. "yeah, cause that's all you eat. you need a green smoothie or something in the morning just to keep your heart beating for the rest of the day."
"my heart beats very well, thank you. wanna feel?" 
you roll your eyes and sigh into your mug. "i'll be expecting three pints of ice cream as an apology later tonight." 
gojo has already moved on, typing away on his phone, probably to some groupies he manipulated into loving him. "i can't. it's flip night at laurent's tonight, and suguru has already threatened me into coming." 
"why did you say laurent's like i'm supposed to know what you mean?" 
"laurent's," he repeats, looking at you.
you blink. 
"the bar?" he questions, like you're crazy. 
"okay, sorry, i don't exclusively hang out at bars filled with frat boys." 
"it's very sophisticated,” he corrects, his frat boy nature very obvious. “i mean, i frequent there." 
you laugh. 
"clearly you've never been." 
"i'm still expecting ice cream." 
he sits back in his chair. "i have class all day." 
"like you've never skipped a class." 
"encouraging ditching?" he asks, mock appalled. "what kind of roommate are you?" 
"the kind that doesn't steal her roommate's food. just get one of your servants to pick it up.”
gojo waves a hand at you, and that statement, apparently. and then he types another thing into his phone—to said servants you assume—and grins again. his face must’ve missed the feeling. "how about i buy you a drink instead? you can come with me tonight. meet my friends. maybe make some of your own." 
"haha," you cross your arms. "if they're as bad as you, then i'm good." 
"you'd probably love them. they also like to torment me, even though i'm pretty and perfectly nice to them." 
"i seriously doubt that." 
his eyes--oh, yes, this early in the morning he skips the sunglasses--sparkle like gems. "i have to play wingman for suguru, but it probably won't take long. you can mingle. meet someone. i think you could use a way to relieve some of that stress." 
"oh, you mean the stress that you cause?" 
gojo grins and you realize that you've fallen into his trap. "i'm willing to help out whenever you like," he says, deviously, "you just haven't asked yet, sweetheart." 
"nor ever will," you grind out.
gojo hums and taps his fingers against the countertop. the two of you stare at each other, grin matching scowl, and eventually, he loses the contest. "so, can i plan to steal you away from eternal solitude at six?" he asks.
and just because he's right--in his weird, satoru gojo way--you nod. it might be nice to get out of the house; and meet people other than the lost freshman at work. and because you know that gojo will continue to bother you about it otherwise. he’s a very difficult person.
as if proving it, he grins all pleased with himself, so you add, "but you're buying all of my drinks." before he can get too ahead of himself. 
*
it's not nearly loud enough in this bar. as soon as you walk in, you're sure of it. 
because even with a band up on the stage, singing about loving someone or money or drugs, you can still hear gojo as he flirts with every single living thing in his twenty-foot vicinity. 
he's got his grin on, styled his hair all fancy, and his clothes are signature in the way that you've probably seen him wear the same thing fifty times. maybe in a row. 
but the people in this bar don't care. no, they flirt back like they already know who satoru gojo is. and maybe they do. 
you don't really care, but you do have to drag him along so he can show you where you're supposed to sit and tell you the names of his friends before you get drunk enough to forget. 
it takes three minutes of trailing after gojo like a lost puppy to remember that you hate going out. that you hate everything about your so-called roommate and you should've shoved his invitation down the drain along with him. 
as if gojo can hear this thought, he peeks over his shoulder, smirking at you. "enjoying the view?" he asks, and you try to trip him by stepping on his heel. 
unfortunately, he only swings around, walking backward through the crowd like it's going to part for him. 
oh, wait. it does. 
you frown at him. 
"what? you don't like the music?" he pouts because that would personally offend him, of course. 
"where are we going? i think we've passed that table four times already." 
"i have to say hi," he says like this is obvious. "it's rude to just walk into some place without greeting everyone." 
"do you own this bar?" 
"what? no." 
"then find your friends so we can sit down," you grumble, trying not to lose him in the sea of people. it's unlikely that you've ever seen a bar this packed. more like a club, honestly, but you wouldn't put it past gojo to lie. 
eventually, he does lead you to a table, announcing, with a flourish. "don't worry, everyone, i'm here," while he bows--because of course he does. "and," he adds, "i brought a stowaway." 
you peek around his shoulder to meet three people, all staring at him with the same unamused expression. one, suguru--from the many photo albums and 'trips down memory lane' gojo has bombarded you with--gives you a little wave. the other two just continue to stare at gojo. 
"everyone, this is y/n, my favorite roommate. y/n, that one is suguru," he says, pointing towards him, "which you already know. the short one is shoko, and the blonde one is--" 
"nanami," you cut in, "hey." 
gojo frowns, looking between the two of you. "you know each other?" 
"we have analytics together," you answer, sliding in to sit across them, next to gojo, naturally. "i usually cheat off of his notes." 
"she gets me coffee," nanami adds, like this information is imperative. 
gojo grins again. "why didn't you say anything nanamin?" 
"because i didn't realize." 
"who else could i have been talking about? do you know several pretty girls named y/n? you a player?" 
nanami has a very familiar frown on his face, and is about to say something when suguru seems to kick gojo under the table. "satoru, i told you to stop referring to other people as 'players.'"
gojo merely rolls his eyes. "can't fight the truth," he says.
you almost smile. almost. but your eyes drift over to shoko, who sighs. "how'd you get stuck with this one?" she asks, not harsh, but not quite soft. 
"he promised me alcohol." 
she nods knowingly. 
speaking of, you turn towards him. "you and i both know there's only one reason i'm here." 
gojo flicks your forehead, but stands up. "i'll be right back," he says, "don't miss me too much." 
and you all watch as he walks away, conveniently stopping at least four times to talk to several different people. 
you groan. "he's not coming back is he?" 
"he will," suguru says, not quite reassuringly. "probably. in an hour or so." 
you cover your eyes with your hands and listen as the three of them laugh at you. 
*
it probably is an hour or two later that you see gojo again. 
you'd fallen into smooth conversation with his friends, talking about classes, and dancing, and the fact that you all shared a common enemy. it was easy enough, talking to them, like ripples in a pond. but surely if gojo had stuck around, it would've been more of a tsunami. you could see the appeal--at least for someone like your roommate. they all seemed responsible enough. 
but shoko, after a twenty-second lull in conversation, decided she was better off drinking at home, and nanami quickly agreed. watching them, compared to gojo, disappear into the crowd was a different experience. 
you bite your cheek unnervingly, wondering if it made you a bad roommate to want to let gojo suffer here alone and walk home by himself. 
suguru pats you on the shoulder when he stands up a moment later, brushing his pants. "i'll go find satoru," he says, softly. you feel that same irritation when you realize that gojo had probably lied to you about coming here for suguru. it was almost infinitely more times likely that suguru had come here for him. "do you want me to tell him you went home?" 
"how likely is it that he'll go home with someone else and it won't matter if i wait for him anyway?" 
the dark-haired man considers this with a sly grin on his face. "if i tell him you left, he'll find someone to cling to. but if you're here he'll go home with you. probably drunk, though." 
you run a hand through your hair, waving him off. "it's fine. i'll wait, then. but tell him that the homicide clause doesn't apply to outside the apartment." 
suguru laughs, not questioning this, and walks away. 
you sit there, toying with a glass someone had left behind, watching the people around you dance like it really was a club. with absolutely no one watching. not even god, evidently.
as usual, gojo lied--even though you hadn't really believed him when he said this place was sophisticated. the clear air of stale beer and vomit is enough to prove that.
you almost laugh bitterly, but then a mop of white hair appears in the chair next to you, and his grin is wider, larger than you'd remembered. 
how long had that taken? 
"hello hello, roomie," he sings, leaning close to you. he moves his chair, shuffling across the floor so that he's near enough to touch. "i heard you were threatening me again." 
"you could hear that over the sighs of your fan club?" 
gojo giggles, like he's in on the joke. his breath falls on your face. "i like it when you tell me you're going to murder me, you know." 
"of course you do. how much did you drink?" 
"it's not the quantity," he whispers, "it's the quality." 
"your friends told me you could get drunk off of hand sanitizer." 
gojo leans back, his long legs knocking against yours. "are they spreading those rumors again?"
you kick his foot away from yours but don't say anything. his eyes seem somehow wider right now, even behind his dark shades. almost like you could see them. 
you blink, and gojo does it back. his lashes fluttering just enough to tell.
it almost makes you smile. laugh a little bit at his innocence--especially right now, when he's clearly not himself--some more unperturbed version of who he normally is (if that's even possible). he probably wouldn't even remember if you did laugh at him. but you refrain anyway. 
gojo gasps suddenly. "oh! let's go to the store. you want ice cream, right?" his elbow slides onto the table as he rests his chin on a hand. 
you kick his foot again. "i wanted a drink," you correct, "but apparently you got distracted." 
"'s not my fault," he almost slurs, sadly. 
"are you ready to go home?" 
"i'm ready to leave. so we can get your ice cream. want to share a spoon?" his grin is unabashed. you could tell him that he is a vile, disgusting creature right now and he would probably agree. 
you don't, for whatever reason. 
"i don't think anywhere's open, and i don't want to drag you around while you're this drunk." 
he taps your thigh with a finger. "hey. i'll have you know that i am a very proficient walker." 
"oh, really?" 
"learned when i was a kid and everything." 
"wow, gojo, i'm very impressed," you deadpan, and look around. "do you need to say goodbye to suguru?" 
he frowns. then points to himself. "gojo," he repeats, and into the crowd, "suguru." 
like he's an actual toddler.
you shake your head and stand up, still looking. "can you text him?" 
"i guess," he mumbles, getting out his phone and almost dropping it. he frowns like this is deeply upsetting. 
so you grab it from him. "what's your passcode?" 
"one one one one." you look at him with a brow raised. "cause i'm number one," he answers, pridefully. 
you scoff, but look through his texts anyway, and tell suguru that you're taking him home--and never ever coming out with him again--and then hand it back to gojo. 
he smiles at you. you roll your eyes. 
then he grabs your hand, and begins to pull. "c'mon before they find us," he says, and it doesn't make any sense. 
but were you really expecting it to? 
*
perhaps the aftermath of drunk gojo is even more entertaining than the actual thing. 
shoko hadn't been kidding when she said he was the worst drunk--and even worse when hungover. 
how do you know this? oh, because you woke up at one in the afternoon--perfectly respectable for a saturday--and as soon as you dared to even open your door gojo was already groaning about the noise. so you slam it a little as you leave. 
there's a grunt, like a dying cat, and two minutes later he is walking into the kitchen with slits for eyes and cotton for hair. you're not sure what he's wearing--some video game shirt--but it's wrinkled enough to match your roommate's appearance. disheveled and slightly peeved, he's almost glaring at you--like he's capable of such a thing.
you try not to laugh. 
"where's the bacon?" he asks, almost slipping off of the counter as he leans on it. his hands rubbing at his eyes. 
"sorry?" 
"wheres the bacon?" he repeats, his voice a different register this morning. "i need emergency bacon." 
"so make some. there's a pan and probably a package in the fridge." 
he whines, falling against the counter again. his natural habitat. "i can't make it, i'm dying. you really want your terminally ill roommate to cook for himself?" 
"i want my overdramatic roommate to act like an adult for a change." 
he blows a raspberry, and his face is hidden beneath the tile of your table. you can only see his hair, which looks surprisingly soft for his state. 
"did you lose some pigment in your hair?" 
gojo snaps up, immediately, gasping. he pulls a strand so he can look at it, blinking rapidly. his panic quickly fades, and he blows the strand out of his eyes. "it's just dirty." 
"from what?" 
"i forgot to buy new bedsheets," he grumbles, once again hiding his face. 
"your bedsheets are dying your hair?" you ask, with a raised brow. 
"they're dirty," he repeats, rolling his eyes as he sits up. "i need to go to the store." 
"um..." you look at him as he slumps against his own body, feeling greatly concerned for his survival abilities. "you buy new bedsheets?" you confirm, "instead of washing them?" 
he waves a hand, blowing you, and your clearly audaious sentence away. "bacon," he says, flatly. 
you roll your eyes. "pan," you point, "stove." 
gojo looks like he might start crying.
and it might be his state or the fact that you don't think you've ever seen him like this--in the month you've known him--all lost and confused and a little bit ruffled at the edges. gojo's snark is usually in its top form when you see him in the morning. 
so, just this once, you grab a pan, and turn on the burner. 
"i'll be expecting payment for my time," you say, as you grab the bacon from the fridge. 
and maybe you get your first real smile from your roommate. 
*
you're lying on the couch reading a book when he appears, swarming like a fly. 
"hello, roommate," he says, uncharacteristically pleasant, and then he sits on your legs. you try to kick him, but it proves futile because apparently he's a giant, so you wiggle your way out from under him and sit up, frowning. 
"don't you have a room?" you ask. 
"i could ask you the same thing," gojo tries to tickle your feet, but you move them away before he can. your frown turns into more of a glare. "what?" he asks, "we can't hang out?" 
"no." 
gojo pouts. "but we're roommates," he says as if it's an explanation. like being roommates binds your souls and forever intertwines the two of you. 
"we are roommates because i had an extra room and you had money. that doesn't seem like thrilling grounds for friendship." 
"well, how about the fact that i let you use my hair dryer the other day?" he lays down on the other side of the couch, smirking at you. "that's a friendly thing to do." 
"that's the polite thing to do. i'm trying to train you. speaking of which..." you point towards the floor, "down boy." 
he takes off his sunglasses, throwing them on the coffee table--which probably explains the broken mug pieces you found in the trash the other day--and lays back with his arms behind his head. his eyes are closed. "i can't be trained." 
"clearly." 
you sigh and relax in your corner of the couch, picking up your book again. his presence lurks like a nightmare, but, you figure, eventually, he'll get bored. 
you just can't entertain him. it's like the advice you'd give to a kid being bullied: they only care about your reaction... 
as if proving your point, after twenty-seven seconds of silence, he opens one eye, peeking at you. "whatcha reading?" 
"a book." 
he plucks it right out of your hands, inspecting the cover. how he got across the couch in 0.2 seconds, you don't know. 
"what is this?" he asks, snickering a little. "word porn?" 
you take it back. "it's called romance, gojo. not that i'd expect you to be familiar with anything of the sort." 
he smirks, laying back down. "i have references if you need proof." 
you shake your head, flipping him off, and continue to scan the words on your page without retaining any information. 
seriously, his presence is impending doom itself. 
"it's okay," he whispers, "you don't need to be embarrassed. everyone craves intimacy." 
"i crave my fist on your face." 
he snorts. "that's not very friendly." 
you sigh, dropping the book again so you can look at him and his obnoxious eyes. "look, i'm tired, it's been a long week, and if you don't leave me alone i'll probably lock you outside." 
"probably?" 
"it's that or throwing you out the window." 
gojo laughs once again, but mimes zipping his mouth shut. you roll your eyes and open your book again. your feet are entwined, but you don't mock this--if only because you're sure that gojo will start an argument about it.
the quiet lasts for two minutes and then he turns on the tv. 
you groan and he laughs at you.
*
you're getting used to having him around, at least. and in turn, his friends. because they seem to be a package deal. 
after that night at the bar, gojo--apparently--feels much more comfortable having them over. trying to bake cookies with shoko or interrupting what's supposed to be a study session between the four of them. 
at least, you think, watching this happen, that you're not the only person forced to endure him. 
but it's kind of... nice to see him act like a normal person, for once. to get teased by someone other than you and pout like a begrudged younger brother. the person who invites his friends over for game night (getting aggressively angry every time he loses) isn't satoru gojo, the man whom everyone is drawn to. he isn't some drunk guy charming everyone around him or a roommate that you just happened upon. 
he's just another college student, laughing along with people who aren't nearly as bad as him. 
and, naturally, you find yourself intertwined with these 'hang-outs' because the apartment is small, and you don't want to be left out--no, you choose not to think about how pathetic it is that satoru gojo has more friends than you do, so please don't bring it up. 
and it's on this night when you're not playing uno with the four of them, but rather, watching behind all of their backs and trying to mess with gojo as much as possible. 
you pretend to be idly cleaning in the kitchen, when really you're standing behind him, mouthing to suguru what color he has whenever he's about to win. 
"hmm," the sly-mouthed man says this time, "green." 
shoko puts down a seven, and gojo groans again. "seriously?" he asks, but begins drawing cards. 
you try--and fail--not to giggle behind him. to which, of course, he turns around with an obvious glare in his eyes. "what are you doing?" 
the sink isn't on, and there are no dishes to be seen in the kitchen. nonetheless, you point uselessly to the roll of paper towels on the counter. "cleaning." 
"you're cleaning air?" 
"sorry, i didn't realize i was banned from loitering in my own home." 
he turns back around, looking at suguru for a moment, then back at you. it's very hard to keep the smile off of your face, especially when nanami looks like he's about to break and shoko is pretending to rifle through her cards again. 
how many times have you done this to him? oh, just a mere eight. 
to be fair, it would've ended a long time ago if gojo wasn't such a sore loser. 
he looks back and forth once more. then he frowns. "what are you doing?" 
"do you want me to go hide in my room, gojo?" you ask, trying to scowl. "because i will. i was just trying to be hospitable--" 
"nanamin," he interrupts. "go." 
so another round of cards is placed, and this time suguru plays normally, keeping his face straight to not draw any suspicion. you lean against the wall, enjoying yourself. 
(don't tell anyone, but this is the most fun you've had in a while). 
and then, after a couple of rounds go by, you finally clear your throat. gojo turns to glare at you through his sunglasses and says "go stand behind suguru if you're going to watch. i don't trust you." 
you raise your brows but do as he says. 
and when shoko has to draw the next time, you smile and tap a couple of times on your thigh. 
suguru does his best impression of gojo's grin, and says, "draw four," to shoko. 
she smiles back. turns to gojo. "draw four," she repeats. 
and he stares at the two of them, then the cards stacked on top of each other, and then to you, right across him. "what are you doing? i know you're doing something." 
"satoru, she's just watching--" 
"no, she's smiling." he looks back to you, "you're smiling. you don't do that unless i'm in pain." 
"so you just assume that you're losing cause i'm... what? drawing your cards for you? shuffling the stack so only you get the bad hands?" you cock a brow at him, willing yourself not to look at anyone else at the table. it would only end in disaster. 
"i--" gojo runs a hand through his hair. then he sighs and begins drawing his eight cards. 
and several rounds later--with gojo losing once again--you've begun moving around the table like you're inspecting each player. gojo doesn't let you look at his cards though. 
and it takes a while before he notices anything. particularly after suguru wins for the third time in a row. 
he looks at everyone--brows pulled together, irritated eyes hiding behind his sunglasses, and his cheeks are flushed from how frustrated he is--and as soon as you start laughing at his face, everyone else does too. suguru throws his cards down and shakes his head. nanami shuffles the deck while trying to keep his laugh muffled--but it's there. and shoko is outwardly laughing at him, pointing at gojo and then at you. 
"are you guys stealing the cards?" he asks, almost disbelieving, his voice so childlike that you start laughing even harder. "look at the deck! it's half the size that it was." 
and then he's standing up and inspecting you, sticking his hands up your sleeves and finding dozens of cards hiding there, falling onto the floor. 
gojo gasps in outrage, but it doesn't even matter to you. 
everyone else is clutching their stomachs and gojo begins to pout. "you're all traitors," he's saying, and "how long have you been doing that?" and you almost can't breathe-- 
so yeah. you don't really mind these kinds of nights. and you don't complain about the messes gojo and his friends leave behind. 
*
you shouldn't have given suguru your number. this much is obvious. 
but, to be fair, you weren't exactly thinking when you were talking to him about a self-help book you'd picked up, and he was mentioning a podcast, and then he was taking your phone and putting himself in it--which, in itself, should not be dangerous--telling you that he'd send you a link and that you should let him know if you liked it, and that was that. 
and really, there shouldn't be any repercussions to this. suguru is your sort of friend, and sort of friends can text on occasion. 
except for the fact that he's also satoru gojo's friend. so when you wake up at ten--silently thanking yourself for taking a day off before a week of back-to-back classes and work--he's already texted you, and it's obvious that you failed somewhere in life. 
maybe when you accidentally invited a demon into your house and allowed him to stay. 
from suguru :p : 
hey satoru is supposed to be in class right now and he won't answer me 
can you please kick him awake? 
but maybe it wasn't a mistake. because at least you have a good excuse to give gojo a bruise. 
so you creep down the hall, reluctantly knocking on his door even though it ruins the element of surprise (you're not a monster) and listening as there's no response. 
gojo must be asleep. or dead. honestly, you might've killed him in your sleep--wouldn't be the first time. 
so you peek the door open, realizing now that you haven't been in his room since he moved in, and watch as a figure slithers under the covers almost before you notice. gojo is completely covered except for the foot he's left hanging off of the side of the bed. 
"get up," you tell him, looking around at the sparse decorations he's put up. there are books, candy wrappers, and socks all over the floor, but it's not the messiest room you've ever seen. which is slightly surprising, considering all that you know about gojo. 
he whines from under the cover, turning so you get a view of exposed skin on his back. "sleeping," he says as if you might believe him. 
so you creep over trash and textbooks and pull the blanket right off of him. 
gojo is already looking at you, pouting. his hair is in his eyes and his mouth is puffy--probably from kissing his pillow in his sleep. "what if i was naked under here?" he asks you, very seriously. "i don't let just anyone see that, you know?" 
"you're wearing the same silk pajamas you wear every night." 
he tries to pull the blanket away from you, his fingers peeling yours away. he huffs. "it's the principle. you don't just wake a man up from slumber." 
you snort. "did you travel a century in your sleep?" 
"yes, now go away." and then he falls back into the blankets, his words muffled. 
"you have class, your highness. i've been sent to fetch you." 
one eye appears from under the blanket. "how do you know my schedule?" 
"telepathy. now get up." 
"i can't," gojo fake coughs. "i'm sick." 
"suguru said you'd say that." 
he groans, turning over and muffling a few explicit words that sound like a curse upon his best friend. 
you poke his back. "did you sleep through your alarm?" 
he doesn't answer. his body has gone limp like you might not notice that he's there if he stays still for long enough. so you pull his hair, turning his head towards you. "you're not usually this whiny in the morning," you tell him. 
"why are you so mean to me?" 
you hum, pretending to consider it. "i think it's the hair. i find it pretentious." 
"i could sue you. discrimination is very serious. i've got a good lawyer, too."
"i'll sue back for mental damages." 
he laughs, and wiggles from your grasp. 
you sigh and finally sit down at the edge of his bed, observing the lollipops he's left lying on his bedside table. gojo's bones seem to crack as he sits up with you, moaning the whole way. 
you're silently observing him--with his slightly red eyes and heinous mouth. you're not used to seeing him like this in the morning; usually, he's chipper and annoying. when he walks into the kitchen in the morning you half expect him to start singing. 
but this gojo is tired. he rubs at his eyes. "did suguru text you?" 
"yup." 
"he's a terrible friend." 
you nudge him, almost like an agreement. "why aren't you in class?" 
"what's even the point of going? it's not like i get a reward."
"i think the reward is graduating, but you might have to fact-check that one." 
he nudges you back and then takes your hand. his fingertips are soft as they trace the tendons and veins he can see on your skin. his hands are softer than you'd have expected. his eyes are wary as they look towards the floor, his mouth twisting in displeasure. but he doesn't stop touching you, he does so idly that you almost don't notice. "i have an a in the class," he tells you, "and i already know most of the material so why would i go to every lecture?" 
maybe it's the way he says it; so sure and nonchalant, in his typical over-dramatic fashion. maybe it's just that he's never mentioned any of his classes to you, or the fact that he's taking any. maybe he's just crazy--that's the most likely option--but you're suddenly curious. 
"what class is it?" 
"theoretical physics." 
you whistle, shaking your head. "and you already know most of it?" 
gojo drops your hand and looks at you. his eyes are wide. maybe he's just realized that he's been talking to you this whole time. "when i was a kid my, uh, my dad had a bunch of textbooks in his office that i used to read through every time i got in trouble," he grins, "which was a lot." 
"i can imagine." 
"well, it turns out you can only read something so many times before it becomes ingrained in your brain." 
you pull at his bedsheet. "do you have a test today, or something?" 
"no, suguru just thinks i'm lazy." 
you laugh, because he is. gojo rolls his eyes at you so you don't say it. you're a little bit surprised, actually. you knew that gojo wasn't stupid (or at least, you might've known) but there's something about the proof of it. like you can't just read right through him. like maybe there's still more to learn about your roommate and maybe there always has been. 
or maybe you're just tired, and he's always had the strange ability to draw irrationality out of you. and also he's an idiot.
"i just..." he starts and his smile fades, but only a little bit. he keeps a layer on while he peels a layer off. "i mean, i like the class. math is cool. but i just don't feel like it today, you know?" 
and there's something about his voice as he says it. steady and true, as always, but softer. but compeltely honest. 
and you've heard him complain about a million things, like every time you and suguru talk about something he doesn't understand or when the door isn't unlocked when he gets home, or when you won't add his one shirt to your laundry. you've heard every whine and every groan come from his lips. 
but he's not complaining about this. just confiding. 
and there's such a drastic difference that it takes you a moment to respond. 
but you do eventually. "yeah, i know," you tell him and rest a hand on his thigh to squeeze. 
and the way that gojo looks at you after--like you might just be saying it to make him feel better--is perplexing. his eyes are blue and maybe you've just noticed this--just started to realize that you're actually sitting with him like a normal person. and that he actually looks grateful. 
you shake your head, willing yourself to look away, because maybe there is something sort of magnetic about your roommate. and it feels impossible to only have noticed this now. to realize how warm he is next to you, and how your muscles tense up when he shifts. gojo is looking at you, and it might be the first time.
so you stand up, flicking his chin. "i'll tell suguru that you're puking your guts up." 
"really?" 
"yup. but next time you sleep through a class i'm going to wake you up by pouring ice water on your face." 
he grins. "cruel." 
"and i'll record it." 
you step over candy wrappers and dirty socks as you leave his room, and as soon as the door is closed you sigh in relief. you're probably better off never opening that door again.
*
it's a ridiculously cold night when he shows up. 
you're sitting at the front desk in the library, pretending to study for a mid-term, and trying to smile at the fifth lost library card you've heard about tonight. you got this job at the beginning of the year, and it pays horribly. but at least you can sit around and study, most weekends it's quiet enough to take a nap, and no one tends to bother you when you're drooling all over the reception desk. 
most weekends, that is, because as soon as he walks in through the door--letting in air so brisk that it has the potential to kill you--it gets significantly louder. 
because satoru gojo is not affected by trivial things such as snow, or blizzards, or the fact that the library is supposed to close in less than ten minutes... 
still, you don't really notice him--a rare circumstance that you will question later that night--until he's right next to you, breathing in your ear. 
"slacking on the clock?" he asks, and just for a moment, you almost disembowel him with the pen you're holding in your hand. 
but then you grunt, used to this sort of intrusion from your roommate, and push his head away. "how did you find me?" you ask him, because, honestly, this job is just an escape from his neverending antics at your house (no, it doesn't matter that you got the job before you knew that such an annoying person could possibly exist). 
"i microchipped you in your sleep," gojo says, smoothly, sitting in the chair right next to yours, swiveling around. "i thought i told you about that?" 
you blatantly look at the clock and ignore him. "you know that the library closes in seven minutes?" 
"...and?" 
"so go torment someone else," you answer, standing up with a stack of fileable papers, "i'm busy until eight." 
"i'll help," gojo says, eager as always, and takes half of your stack. "where to?" 
it is from two months of experience that you know he will not leave you alone. even if you chew off his fingernails and keep them to make into necklaces, gojo will follow you around as long as you make it clear you don't want him to. 
so you walk towards the copying room, smiling at all of the sleep-deprived students you pass by and rolling your eyes when gojo does the same. 
"how did you even find the library?" 
gojo walks like he has absolutely no equilibrium; knocking into you every couple of steps, and then falling in the other direction. it must be a consequence of all of his strenuous leaning. 
so he bumps into you as he replies, "tracker," like it's obvious. 
you snort. "no, seriously. i didn't think you knew that libraries existed. aren't you allergic to reading?" 
"hey!" he tries to trip you. "i'll have you know that i am very studious. top of my class." 
"that's why you pay suguru to write your papers for you, right?" 
gojo makes a small noise in the back of his throat. "he doesn't write them," he grumbles. "well, not all of them." 
you snort and open a door for him to follow through.
"my study group meets here on wednesdays," gojo answers, finally. 
"you're a part of a study group?" 
"where do you think i go all of the time?" 
you briefly consider this, setting the papers down. "cemeteries to mourn all of the people you've annoyed to death, probably. or your girlfriend's house." you shrug.
gojo sets his stack on top of yours, diligently lining them up. "i don't do that every night," he drawls, rolling his eyes. and then he winks at you. "and i don't have a girlfriend. thanks for asking." 
you mess up his stack and turn away from him. "sorry, i meant girlfriends as in plural. girlfriends." 
"nope, again." 
gojo follows closely behind you as you begin to lock up all of the spare rooms, turning off lights and looking for any lost items. "commitment issues?" you ask, fake sympathy clouding your voice. 
"sweetheart, if you want me, then just say that. you don't need to pretend to worry about anyone else." his cockiness is infuriating, but you don't even bother to scold him for it. you turn towards him with sharp eyes.
"do i seem worried to you?" 
"no, but you're a bad actor," gojo hums, fingertips grazing along your skin as he inspects your face. "denial is serious. you might want to see a doctor." 
"you would know," you answer, glaring and pulling away from him. the two of you walk as people begin to trek out of the library, no longer held captive by the idea of studying. 
gojo is much too close, as usual, his sweater brushing against yours. 
"how'd you even know i was here?" you ask him, after a minute of silence. 
"please," he answers, grinning down at you. "i got a PI as soon as you gave me my key." 
you squint. "did you actually?" 
he laughs. "no. you told shoko, and shoko told me..." 
you nod, clearing the desk of your things, tossing your bag at gojo for him to carry. "so why are you here?" 
he clears his throat, unplugging the cord to your computer and wrapping it around his hand. "i was walking by, and i thought i'd see if you wanted to come with me for drinks after your shift."
"drinks?" you repeat, taking the cord from his hands. 
"flip night." 
you groan. "i am never participating in that again after what happened last time." 
"it wasn't that bad." 
"i had to drag you home and you almost threw up in my hair." 
gojo smiles. "consider yourself lucky." 
you push him out of the way and put your coat on. then you turn off the lights and push in all of the chairs, gojo not helping at all. "i didn't even get my drink," you remind him. 
"okay, so let me make it up to you."
and his voice is a bit different. still arrogant, naturally, still smiling and easy--but maybe he means it? maybe beneath his, frankly, soft exterior, he feels bad for getting drunk before you could? maybe he's not actually a complete monster? 
you laugh that thought away as soon as it comes.
you sigh. "are your friends going to be there?" 
"yes, our friends are. they suggested i invite you." 
you sigh--again, because the air is quite thin when gojo is around--and consider it. for just four seconds. but eventually, you shake your head. "i can't," you tell him, looping your arm around his so you can drag him out of the building. 
"why not?" 
"i'm tired, and i still need to study for a test on monday..." 
"do it in the morning." 
you give him a blank look. "i won't want to study if i'm hungover." 
"then don't study." 
you let go of his arm, shivering from the cold. gojo, of course, is not wearing a jacket, or even a little bit bothered by the air. "you're a terrible influence." 
he grins. "i get it from you." 
you shake your head, keeping the smile off of your face. "maybe some other time? when it's not freezing, and i don't have a big test?" 
gojo looks like he wants to argue with you some more--which he usually does--but eventually, his grin ebbs into something simple and he nods. "okay, but you have to come next time i ask." 
"no. what if i'm sick, or something?" you definitely would not put it past him to ask you as a method of torture. 
"that's what alcohol is for." he sticks out his hand, too big and too sly. 
but you relent, shaking with him, and rolling your eyes.
"okay, gojo. have fun. do not wake me up when you get home." 
and you turn to walk away, but his hand catches your wrist. "what are you doing?" he asks, brow furrowed. 
"...going home?" 
he lets go of you and flicks your forehead. "you're not walking back by yourself," he says, like it's a crime. "c'mon." 
and he falls into pace with you, even with his longer legs and fervent energy. 
"this is stupid--" you start to complain, but gojo reaches for the strap of your bag, sliding it off of your shoulder. he then slings it on his own, and pulls you in a bit closer by the hem of your jacket. 
he doesn't say anything, just shoves your hand in his pocket, and whistles as he walks you home. 
*
its a couple of weeks later when you're standing at the door again, trying not to open it more than necessary. 
but, really, how wide is too wide? will a half-opened door signal any longing? will he think that you want him back if you open it more than three inches to pass him his box of stuff that he'd left behind and take your key back? 
how do you navigate the trade-off of a frog statue that will probably haunt your dreams till the end of time? 
"key," you say, without any pleasantries, not bothering to even really look at him. 
even though he looks just the same, your ex. still the lying cheater you'd almost fallen in love with. 
is it wrong to miss his netflix password more than him? 
"thanks," he says, and you've probably been standing there with him for thirty seconds when a head appears on your shoulder. 
white hair gets in your eyes, and you try to push gojo away, but he's already intruded on this exchange and you know he's not going to leave. 
"go away," you tell him, not very softly. 
"hello," gojo holds his hand out over your shoulder, because, again, he is ridiculously tall. "i'm--" 
"key," you say again, swatting his hand away. 
your ex looks at your new roommate--with all of his charm and irritating sunglasses and perfectly shaped teeth--with obvious disdain. you want to push both of them out the door and live here by yourself forever, but unfortunately, living prices disagree. 
so you grab the key from his hand, give him a bland smile, and slam the door with gojo's fingers still in between. 
he pulls them back just in time, still almost on top of you, and smiles when you turn around with a scowl. "a friend of yours?" he asks, slyly. he's about as subtle as a third-grader.
"no." 
he messes with your hair idly, pretending to fix it. "i noticed an obvious absence where our dancing frog used to be." 
"i told you, that's not mine." 
"so you gave it away?" 
you cross your arms. he is far too close to you. "you told me it was hideous." 
"it was," he nods, vehemently, and you know his eyes are grinning at you behind those dark shades. "but now there's an empty spot on that shelf." 
"we can put your tongue there when i cut it out," you give him an innocent smile and walk past him to sit on the couch. your pocket burns with the key you put there, metal like an obvious stain on your skin. 
it's not that you care about him anymore, really. you don't, not even when you lay alone at night and think about him. it's more that... he doesn't think about you. he didn't, and he wouldn't have, even if you were still together. 
is it wrong to be wanted by someone whose opinion is worth about as much to you as a penny you could or could not pick up on the street? should you crave being cared about by someone as awful as him?
you want to throw his key in bleach. maybe take a dip yourself.
gojo follows you, throwing himself down on the couch, and brushing you as he does so. he is very used to this kind of proximity, and the annoyed look you give him. "so that was your ex?" 
"yes." 
there's a brief pause, and a nice person might leave it like that. might try to console you, tell you better off. but satoru gojo is not nice, and he probably never has been. "really?" he asks. then clicks his tongue. 
you interrupt whatever obnoxious statement is supposed to follow: "if you're about to say that there are a lot of more eligible bachelors, including yourself, then i'm going to say that you should probably make a zillow account." 
gojo pinches your thigh. "i would never say something like that." 
you look at him, just barely able to make out the shape of his eyes when he's this close. "you told me that last week when i was complaining about dating apps." 
"well, it was true then." 
you roll your eyes. 
"i wasn't going to say that anyway." 
you hum, relaxing into the hold his legs begin to have on yours. despite his abrupt and terrible personality, gojo is very warm. and he's already intruded into so much of your space--your home, your head--that it almost feels normal. 
with his thighs pushing against yours and his fingertips trailing up the back of your neck. 
you should slap him away, but you don't. 
the last person you cuddled with was the same man who gave you the greasy key in your pocket. 
you look at gojo with inquisitive eyes. "really? no bad pickup line? you were going to say something meaningful?" 
"would've blown your mind, but you interrupted..." he teases, and pulls on a strand of baby hair. 
"whatever will i do now?" 
his hand falls from your neck, and if you weren't as comfortable as you are currently, you might think about what he's doing. 
like the fact that you haven't even questioned this, or his following you around, or the fact that he knew you needed someone to pull you away from that door. 
you don't think about that, but maybe you should. 
still, his hand wraps around your shoulder, and you slump against him without question. 
"i was..." his voice is softer, calmer than you've maybe ever heard it. it should jolt you away from him. it should do anything but keep you planted on the couch right next to him. "i was just going to say that i'm glad he's an idiot." 
"getting turned on by my pain?" 
he laughs. "no, but, i mean, your pain my gain." 
you don't even notice it when he slips off his glasses, his fingers curling around your forearm. 
"where else would i find a roommate that threatens me with bodily harm?" he asks, right in your ear. 
it's true enough, you guess. and at least for a moment, you don't want to rip off his arms. 
and gojo mutters something that sounds like "stupid," but you aren't listening.
*
gojo has called in your agreement; that is the only reason you're sitting at the bar, watching him dance around with shoko--purposefully stepping on her toes--and sipping on some drink he ordered for you.
it's terribly sweet and reminds you of lotion but you drink it anyway. it's not like you bought it, and you're sure that gojo wont buy you anything else until finish it. plus it's giving you a light buzz, just enough to feel comfortable sitting there, and not like you want to run away.
it's not as busy as it was last time, the music slightly quieter, the air in the room less stiff. gojo seems less energized tonight--considering that he hasn't abandoned any of you to talk to the houseplant in the corner--even with the dancing. 
which he is terrible at. it's like watching an eight-month-old learn how to stand. or a man trying to impress absolutely no one. his limbs move like they aren't even attached to his body.
"is he drunk?" you're asking suguru and nanami--who have been sitting there longer than you have. "i didn't see him order anything." 
nanami laughs and suguru ruffles your hair. "that's satoru completely sober." 
"...are you sure?" 
"yeah, he doesn't usually drink. even that," he nods to your drink which you're sipping with a wince, "is too bitter for him." 
you raise a brow, watching shoko frown at him, and then nudge him away. "he drank last time i came, though?" 
suguru nods, looking away like he knows something you don't and nanami snorts.
"what?" 
"he was nervous last time," nanami answers. he's got less than a smile on, but it's better than the frowns you've observed sitting next to him in class. 
your brow furrows. "about what?" 
suguru is about to answer, nudging nanami not very subtly, when the very topic of conversation pops up, bumping into you as he squeezes himself in between you and suguru. his presence is an interruption in itself, but he's smiling like he always does, acting like he's been there the whole time. 
you might've pushed him away a week or two ago. now you just sigh and move a little so he can fit.
"did you miss me, sweetheart?" he asks you, leaning against suguru. "don't worry, i'll dance with you next."
"no, and i don't dance." 
gojo rolls his eyes. "everyone dances." 
you look pointedly between him and the group of people dancing in the middle of the room. an image of him almost tripping over shoko makes you smile. "well some people shouldn't." 
suguru laughs and gojo grins even wider at you--his hair is slightly sweaty and his eyes are peering at you over the glasses sitting on the edge of his nose. "let's test that theory," he says, taking a step back. his tone is nothing less than suggestive. and his fingers wiggle towards you, beckoning for you to follow.
there's a twinge in your stomach and you adjust in your seat, frowning at him. "i told you that i don't dance." 
"well, i do. and you owe me for last time." 
you balk. "owe you for what? making sure you didn't get murdered on the street?" 
gojo pouts, his face so unserious and completely genuine at the same time. "you made me dance all alone. you didn't even come watch." 
"you left me--" 
"just one dance?" he asks, leaning in towards you. his eyes are sparkling. "i'll get you another drink." 
"you'll get me that anyway." 
"i'll let you pick it this time." 
"that's usually expected, you know?" 
he ignores that, "c'mon," he pleads, "you know that you want to." 
"i don't know that, actually." 
and then someone coughs behind gojo and you realize that your friends have been listening to this entire interaction and that you'd completely forgotten they were there. how long has he been standing like that? just two inches away from your face? 
"just go, y/n," shoko says, "put the rest of us out of our misery. i've been listening to him whine all night." 
"hey--" gojo turns, his voice defensive. 
but you take another sip of your drink, sighing as you stand up. "fine," you tell him, rolling your eyes when he turns to you with a smile. "one dance, and you can't ask me for anything else tonight." 
his teeth are like rows of knives. sharp and inviting. "okay." 
he holds his hand out for you again, and you take it, feeling that strange pull in the pit of your stomach. 
it's probably just the alcohol, though. 
*
you don't know how long you've been dancing with gojo. 
it started with one dance where he didn't do anything except twirl you around and sway with you, like he'd accepted the fact that you weren't exactly light on your feet, singing along to the music in your ear, making snide remarks about where you'd placed your hands. moving them like pieces on a chess board.
his breath was hot on your ear. condensation on a glass. 
and then you'd gradually moved to letting him lead you, after who knows how many songs, following his steps and not apologizing when your foot slammed against his, or when you bumped shoulders with him, probably creating marks on your skin. 
and then his hands were on your hips, his chin resting against your shoulder, and it felt almost nice to be dancing with him. almost relaxing to forget momentarily about where you were and who you were with. it shouldn't surprise you that you're comfortable with him, but it does. there's no worry about the way you're looking at him or if anyone is watching the two of you--but then again, you might be slightly drunk. 
gojo hasn't commented on how long the two of you have been dancing, and evidently, you've let the alcohol sway you into staying for more than just another song. 
so now, with his lips on your ear, you're almost smiling into him. your heart is fast, and the adrenaline rush you're experiencing is a pleasant thing; if someone ripped out your heart right you wouldn't even notice.
"see?" gojo says, his voice just a murmur with all of the music swimming in your ears. "you're not so bad." 
it sounds like something else to you.
"you won't be saying that in the morning," you tell him, stepping on his toes, but he doesn't pull back or move too quickly. if you thought rationally about his movements you might notice that everything he's doing is slow; like you're an animal he's trying not to scare. 
"i'm used to it," he pulls back a little bit. "shoko does that too." 
"'cause you deserve it." 
he laughs and leans in, so you follow him. 
are you just swaying now? or is he leading you in something more complex? a dance you've never heard of, or a simple in and out? 
you don't know, and you really don't care. 
after a moment, you sigh. "i've never danced with anyone before," you whisper to him, almost like not saying the words at all. it might be a lie, you're not quite sure. 
your words are just thoughts now with no sort of intervention between your brain and your mouth. intoxication fills your lungs. 
"really?" 
"mhm," you hum, "no one's ever asked me." 
"i don't believe you," his voice might be teasing, or serious, or he might be barking at you.
you laugh anyway. gojo's hands are firm against your skin. he feels kind of hazy, like a dream. so you laugh again. 
"you okay?" 
"i think i might be a little drunk." 
he snorts, his breath short. "really? i didn't think you'd be a lightweight." 
"you're a lightweight." 
"yeah, but you already knew that. i only drink when we come here, anyway. nanami doesn't like having to drag me home." 
"you're heavy," you agree, looking up at him. you can see his eyelashes from under his glasses. you can see his tongue as he moves it, and the tip of his nose. you can almost feel it when he swallows.
"sorry," he teases. his face looks different under these lights. it looks different when you're looking at him this close. 
"you're kinda pretty," the words fall from your mouth as you think them, and you grin. "huh." 
it shouldn't be an odd realization, but it is. his skin is almost translucent, and his mouth is sinful. his eyes are wide and bright and satoru gojo could be a sculpture if he wasn't a man.
gojo looks down at you, his brows raised. "you just noticed?" 
"i don't look at you a lot." 
"oh, please," he shakes his head. "i've caught you staring." 
"i only stare when i'm worried that you're a robot planted by aliens or something. you say weird things." 
he laughs, and his hands squeeze your waist. he could stab you in the back right now and it wouldn't even matter. you're not even worried about it. he could flirt with you all night and you don't think you'd quite mind.
you giggle at the thought, heart beating fast with every breath that comes from him. 
"what?" 
"you're not a bad roommate, you know?" you ask him, but maybe you're asking yourself.
"i'm not?" 
"no. you're actually... kinda considerate. my old roommate--my ex--he never wanted to go anywhere with me. he wouldn't have asked me to dance." 
"why not?" 
"i think he thought i was stuck up. or embarassing. or not worth it," you breathe, almost airly, the words are true but they don't matter to you. not like this, pressed up against him. "i don't know." 
gojo's brow furrows. "how?" 
your brows furrow. "how what?" 
"how could he think you're not worth it?" he repeats, and you laugh back. because it's a joke.
"you'd have to ask him." 
"i don't think i'll ever be talking to him," he answers, voice rough. "it wouldn't be good for either of us. and i don't trust people with such terrible taste." 
you giggle at the thought of the frog sculpture, the disgusted look on gojo's face. you can almost see through him.
"you shouldn't," you answer, not even thinking.  
there's a moment where the room is quiet, everyone inhaling at the same time, and then exhaling. you feel like you fit here, somehow. like everything is moving at just the right place. this silence is a comforting feeling, the bubbles bursting in your stomach reiterating it. 
"hey," gojo says, interrupting that feeling. 
"what?" 
"you're a good roommate, too. you're not stuck up. or embarassing." 
"i'm not?" 
he smiles at you. "well, you're a little mean." 
you smile back. "only to you, satoru." 
his face drops, but you don't notice. you lean against his chest again, your eyes fluttering shut. if you were focused enough, you could feel his heartbeat. but you don't. and you don't watch as he swallows. as his voice falters, for only a single second.
but you do look at him when he says, "my friends like you." 
"they do?" 
he laughs, pushing his sunglasses back up on his face. "wasn't it obvious?" 
you shake your head. you're not sure how long you've been standing with him, or if it even matters. you're not even sure if you're still in the bar, or your bed, being covered with your blanket, tucked in by gentle hands. 
how long has it been now? 
"i like you too," gojo whispers, "just so you know." 
and you could be at home, with your roommate. you could be right next to him. it doesn't matter, because you only whisper, "good," and then it's all gone. 
*
when you wake up the next morning, gojo is already laughing at you. 
your headache is a curse. your mind is in shambles. and your body aches with the manipulation of only one person. 
you hate your roommate and his terrible taste in drinks and that he doesn't even say anything when you slump against the counter, not even bothering to make fun of you or complain about how terrible you are when you're drunk. 
he just smiles easily, ruffling your hair.  
and when he starts to cook some bacon in the pan, you don't say anything, but you go and stand next to him, letting him hold you up. 
there are no words. only the popping of oil in a pan. 
and that feeling, of course. because it wasn't the alcohol. 
*
so maybe satoru gojo is your friend. you will not admit this to anyone aloud, but you concede a little bit in your head, because it's a fragile place there, and you're a terrible liar. 
and so maybe you hang out with him sometimes. 
it's not just the game nights or study sessions anymore. you sit on the couch and play with your phone and he sits down next to you. he'll rub your feet, or massage your legs and you let him. 
only because he's kinda good at it, of course. 
and sometimes you'll turn on a movie and he'll appear out of nowhere, complaining about whatever you picked, but laying down nonetheless. and after several minutes he'll move closer to you, resting his head on your thigh. and you might play with his hair, but only because it's unreasonably soft. 
and some mornings when you wake up and make yourself breakfast, not even trying to be quiet, you'll make a little extra. but it's not for him, it's just a coincidence. 
and he stops by the library on his way home from suguru's, or some girl's house, and the two of you will walk home together, talking about class, or the weather, or whatever gojo wants. you let him do this, because it's usually dark outside, and you don't like walking home alone. 
and if he barges into your room sometimes--obviously not knocking--you only complain a little bit. and then you let him lay in your bed and mess with your things. 
but only because it's the easier option, of course. 
and you've missed the feeling of having someone near. and satoru gojo is easy to be around. 
*
"gojo," you gasp, as soon as the door opens in your face. and then you scowl. "don't you knock?" 
he pushes you so he can move past, raising a brow at you. "i live here." his hands are empty, and he's not wearing a coat again. just a weird button-up probably more expensive than your share of the rent. how he's survived over two decades, you're not sure. 
your brows furrow at him. "well, you could give some warning if you're going to kick open the door. what if you broke my nose?" 
"well, why were you standing right in front of the door when i kicked it?" gojo mimics, flicking you away, then looking down to your hands where your wallet and keys are piled up. "you going somewhere?" 
"to the store." 
"it's eleven." 
"why thank you for that update, gojo. i really appreciate it," and then you move beside him to open the door. 
but gojo grabs your hand, making sure to roll his eyes at you where you can see it, and pulls you away so he can step in front of the door. "what could you need from the store right now?" 
"i need stuff." 
he crosses his arms, uncharacteristically stern. "like what?" 
"stuff. girl stuff. you wouldn't get it." 
he gasps, mouth dropping. "oh no, did i steal too many of your tampons again?" 
"first of all, that's against the apartment rules, so you better hope not. second of all, please move," you glare at him. "i need to hurry." 
"you can't leave right now." 
"i believe there's such a thing as free will..." you try and push him away, but he doesn't budge. "and you're not the boss of me." 
"it's too late for you to walk to the store. go tomorrow." 
you cross your arms. "when have i ever listened to you?" you ask him, feeling that familiar irritation crawl up your skin. 
but then gojo is pulling your arms apart and resting them at your sides and saying "stop that," as a gentle chide. and that irritation molds. you push his hands away. 
you want to push his hands off of the edge of the earth just so that he'll never touch you again.
"seriously, gojo, i need to go. they close at midnight." 
"you can't walk to the store by yourself in the dark." 
"i can do whatever i want." 
"then i'm locking you in your room until tomorrow. you're grounded." 
you poke his shoulder. you can't decide if he's serious or not. his voice is always teasing, and you can't see enough of his eyes. and you can't trust a single thing he says. "when did you become so overbearing?" you ask him, trying not to grind your teeth. 
"when i realized how weak you are." 
"weak?" you balk at him. "i'm not weak. please retract that sentence before i accidentally punch you." 
"you can't even push me away from the door. i'll take my chances with your fists." 
"that's because you're irritating me," you tell him, as you try to do it again. "anger distracts me." 
he laughs at you, leaning even further against the door. 
"gojo," you whine, trying to pinch him away instead. "stop being an ass. just get out of the way." 
he holds a hand to his chest, offended. "i am showing concern about your safety," he claims, shaking his head at you. 
"you are ruining my mood." 
"oh, good." 
you scowl. "move. right now." 
"that was very intimidating," he grins at you, "but maybe try again." 
you groan and try to stab him with your key, which he pushes away, still smiling, still completely the worst. 
"i--" you sigh, "i don't like you very much." 
he snorts. 
then you pout at him, fluttering your eyelashes. "please, gojo. i'll be back in fifteen minutes." 
"what is that?" 
you frown. "what?" 
"what's wrong with your face?" 
you throw your arms up, shaking your head. then you mutter another thing about hating him under your breath and finally turn away. you set your keys and your wallet on the counter, pouting as you sit down on the couch. 
gojo is there a moment later, laughing at you. "was that supposed to be convincing?" 
"don't talk to me. ever again." 
you shake your head, fed up with him and everything about this living situation. how are you locked in your apartment right now?
gojo tilts his head back, and then pauses for a moment.  
"then how am i supposed to ask if you want to come with me to the store?" he asks, nonchalantly. "i need some stuff." 
and you should be angry at him--you should probably break one of his fingers or cut his hair off in his sleep. you should tell him that you hate his company and that if he ever tells you what to do again-- 
but instead, you jump up from the couch, smiling at him. "let's go," you say, quickly, before you change your mind. 
and you don't get to see it when gojo smiles back at you, softly. 
*
"hey," he whispers, "you shouldn't sleep here." 
gojo is shaking your shoulder gently, his breath on your face, his voice soft--even in the haze of disrupted sleep. there's a warm feeling in your belly as he speaks to you, an unknowing smile on your face.
"hmm?" you answer, trying to remember who you are and why you're here. who he is.
"it's almost midnight. what are you doing on the couch?" gojo is helping you sit up. his hands are ridiculously warm, and you don't think about how nice they feel on the bare skin of your back. 
"gojo?" 
he laughs. "the one and only. c'mon, i'll tuck you in." 
"did you just get home?" you must still be sleeping, because his hands are so soft right now. and his voice is so quiet--like the creaking of an old house. 
"yeah. are you going to get up?" he's kneeling in front of you, and his face is bare. you almost want to laugh at how bright his hair is even in the dark. 
"where were you?" 
he shakes his head, smiling up at you, and moves from the floor. "c'mon, sit up," he beckons, trying to get you to move your head from its place. you wince. eventually, he gives up and your heart almost disappears when he picks you up, tapping your legs so that you'll wrap them around his waist. 
you do it, but only because you don't want to fall. 
"why are you so tall?" you complain as he carries you to your room, feeling much more awake when you're this high in the air. 
gojo snorts. "i'll take that as a thank you," he whispers in your ear and sets you on your bed. then he sits on the edge and takes your socks off, pulling the covers out from under you. his movements are slow as he covers every inch of skin he can see, his breath the only sound between the two of you. 
it's colder when his hands move, and he looks at you for a moment as if trying to make sure he's satisfied with his job. 
"are you going to make fun of me for this in the morning?" 
gojo grins, squeezing your leg as he stands up. "probably. but only a little." 
"okay," you yawn, blinking as he backs up towards the door. 
"night, sweetheart," he whispers to you, and then a flash of hair is all you see before your door is closed and you drift back to sleep. 
and in the morning you wake up and can't remember how you got in bed. gojo doesn't say a thing. 
*
satoru gojo can say so much without saying a single thing. 
when he burst into your room--surprising you because you hadn't realized he was home--throwing himself on your bed and mumbling something about hating his life, you didn't say a word. 
and he'd sat there for ten minutes while you typed out a paper on your laptop, glancing over to him every couple of minutes, slightly worried because he hadn't moved an inch. 
you've seen a lot of his moods recently. you've seen him excited about some movie you didn't understand, exhausted after a long day of classes, angry when suguru and you leave him out of a joke. but most of that, you assume, is just him being himself. every feeling he has is probably seven times larger than the average person's.
but now that he's groaning into your bed, you can tell, just from the way his body deflates, that there's something wrong. you could see it when he walked in the room, and felt it because he'd told you he was getting dinner with his parents tonight. 
but if you know one thing about him, it's that he won't talk about it if you ask. 
because after a couple of weeks of spending more and more time with him, you'd quickly realized that you didn't actually know much about his life. he doesn't tell any stories about his childhood, or high school years--minus the ones that he tried to suffocate suguru for letting slip. he doesn't mention his parents much, and when he does, it's nothing but the bare minimum. he mentions classes so offhandedly that you hadn't even known how extensive his studies were until suguru was teasing him about an award he'd gotten a couple of years ago. 
he could talk to you for hours on end, but he wouldn't say anything. 
so after realizing this, you'd resorted to asking suguru about it.
that night, gojo was asleep on the floor between your feet. his hand was under his head, and he was snoring loud enough for you to notice. you'd sat down to watch a movie with him after he'd claimed that you and suguru were losers for being tired at this hour and that he was the youngest of you all. 
suguru only smiled a little bit at your question.
"satoru keeps an infinite amount of space between him and everyone else," he'd said softly, into the warm air of your apartment. "even with me, and i've known him since we were kids. his family..." he trailed off, shaking his head.
you'd frowned. "what?" 
"he's always been too much for them, in a way. i mean, you know, he is too much most of the time. but he does all of it purposefully; the arrogance, the bravado. i don't know... i think he just wants to control whatever image everyone has of him. to the extent that his personality is based on pushing people away, just so he can figure out who's actually going to stick around." 
you'd watched him then, with his fluttering eyelashes--his sunglasses lying on the ground next to him--and his bright hair. the gentle movement of his lips as he dreamt. he was softer like this, less forceful, less of a burden, and more of a boy.
and beautiful, of course, but that's an offhanded thought you wouldn't acknowledge.
"so, he doesn't talk to you about--" the words felt wrong, and you almost felt guilty for talking about him like this, with his best friend. but still. "--important stuff?" 
"he talks to me about a lot of things. but, no, not really. i get a long-winded rant sometimes, but not often." 
"then how are you supposed to know anything about him?"
suguru smiled at you, looking between you and gojo like there was a secret he didn't want to tell. he sighed. "satoru doesn't really tell me any of the important stuff because we've known each other for so long. i understand how his family is because i've watched him deal with them. i can guess how he's feeling based on his expression. but for people he hasn't known as long, like you, getting to know him is like i-spy." 
suguru didn’t need to elaborate. you got it.
like trying to find little hints of him hidden between all of the mess. you'd snorted and agreed. 
and it feels even more true now, with him cowering in your blankets. but still, you say nothing. 
you get it, to a certain degree. vulnerability was one of the feelings you liked to push away; secrets were only supposed to be coveted by you. getting close to people was a dangerous thing, risky in its own way. 
but, thinking that gojo doesn't trust you--couldn't trust you... it's more irritating than it should be. and maybe that's just because you're arrogant, and think yourself to be trustworthy. or maybe it's because you trust him, in your own unique way, even with all of his too much and extremeness. 
you don't say that to him though, just like he doesn't say anything to you. 
"hey," you push him with a foot. "are you drooling on my comforter?" 
there's a moment of silence, then gojo rolls over. "not a lot." 
you roll your eyes at him and type another sentence--a collection of words that have nothing to do with the actual essay you're writing, naturally--waiting for him to say something else. 
and, predictably, he does. "why aren't you paying attention to me?" 
"i'm busy, gojo." 
"no, you're not." 
"i am doing homework." 
he looks up at you. his sunglasses are somewhere on your floor. "well, then you're definitely not busy," he grins. 
you swat away a hand that tries to steal your computer. 
"aren't you supposed to be at dinner?" you ask him, trying to seem like you don't care about the answer. 
he sighs again. "canceled." 
"why?" 
"my dad had a meeting or something." 
"oh." 
you let the silence wade for a minute or two, trying to be discreet when you watch his face for any signs of discontent. but gojo just has his eyes closed. his hands above his head. 
eventually, you nudge him again. "did you eat anything?" 
he shakes his head. 
"do you want me to make you something?" 
an eye opens. he turns over and rests his head on his hands, squinting at you. "are you being nice to me?" 
"not intentionally." 
he snorts, poking you, almost in awe. "you are." 
"i'm just trying to make sure you don't die, okay? who knows what you've eaten today." 
he crawls up your bed, sitting right next to you so he can rest his head on your shoulder. and you should push him off, but you don't. "it's okay. i'm not very hungry." 
"that's not what i asked." 
gojo laughs against you, his hair brushing against your neck. 
you shouldn't say anything more. you shouldn't even entertain him and his antics, and you shouldn't even care (but you do. for some, stupid, infuriating reason). 
so you look at him, and your voice is soft when you ask, "you okay?" to him, hoping that it doesn't seem too intrusive. wishing that you didn't actually care if he was or not.
gojo's eyes meet yours, and for a brief moment, you get that feeling again. 
that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to jump away from him. that makes your hands want to shake, and your voice fade. that feeling that you know--too well, too much--but can't get rid of. 
like an itch you're not really supposed to scratch. 
gojo swallows. "yeah," he answers, with no grin, no conceit. "i'm okay." 
and it shouldn't feel like a relief to hear, but it does. you nod, look away, and go back to your computer. back to your actual life, which shouldn't have any satoru gojo in it. 
but a minute later he adds: "i'd be better if you made me dinner, though." 
and you pull on his hair a little. you try to pretend like his smile doesn't fill you with butterflies. 
*
this shouldn't be happening. 
it's the only reasonable thought running through your brain at the moment. the only echo you can discern, the only words you can make out in the jumble of anxiety and horror running through your mind. 
he should not be this close. 
gojo had only picked you up from work once again, his easy smile meeting yours as soon as he walked through the door--you'd been waiting, wondering when he was going to show up. 
at seven-thirty he was there, letting in the cold air and sitting in the seat next to yours, complaining about the fact that you had a job that diverted your attention away from him while you rolled your eyes. 
he sat there for the half an hour remaining in your shift, distracting you. 
two months ago you would've kicked him out. would've called some make-believe security. 
but you just listened while he talked to you about space theories that didn't make any sense. 
and then he'd grabbed your bag for you, turning off the lights before you could, pushing in chairs while you organized the reception desk. 
and his hand grabbed yours before you thought to notice--swinging along while the two of you began the walk home. 
and halfway there, gojo stopped, looking up at something. "hey," he'd poked you. "look at the stars." 
you'd done it, begrudgingly, squinting. "i can count, like, three." 
"there's at least five." 
"why did you stop me to do this? it's cold." 
"because they look nice," he argues, looking down at you. "you have no eye for beauty." 
and, really, you might've agreed with him. you might've pushed him away from you and told him to hurry up and you might've not cared at all. 
but you could see his eyes, just a little bit, behind his sunglasses. and his smile was alabaster, and that feeling--that gasping for breath, trying to hold on to anything feeling--was there again. 
and it was poking you. like a push in some direction. like a laugh telling you that you were too afraid to do anything. 
you were looking at him. right at his face and the only thing you wanted to say was that he was wrong. 
he was wrong because at least you knew that he looked beautiful. 
but those words wouldn't leave your lips--that thought couldn't leave your head--so you were only staring at him. wishing that you'd never let him into your apartment and that he hadn't started becoming a person to you. 
it wasn't fair like this. 
"what?" he whispered, his smile dropping, like he could tell there was something wrong with you. like he knew you that well. 
if he'd kept on smiling, you wouldn't have done it. you wouldn't have pushed up on your toes and leaned into him, and you wouldn't have kissed him like you did. 
like you're doing. 
and it would've been fine because you never would've started this knowing that it would eventually have to stop. 
and even though it takes him less than a second to kiss you back--his lips molding to yours like an automatic reaction--you know that you shouldn't be doing this. 
that you can't be doing this. not with him. not like this. 
so when gojo's hands move to your waist, his breath even in your mouth, you push at his chest. and you want to run away. 
"i'm--" you swallow, trying not to taste him, the bubblegum flavor of him, and almost flinch away. "i'm sorry." 
gojo's mouth is frozen from where he stands two feet away. his hands are in the air like he doesn't know what to do with them. "you..." 
and you've never heard him speechless before. just the idea of it makes you blurt out whatever comes to mind. "i shouldn't have done that," you tell him, and, "i didn't mean to--i don't--" you shake your head. "sorry. i'm sorry. can we forget about this? can we get home because i'm really cold?" 
"you kissed me," gojo says, so simply. 
the words are another blow to your heart. you were hoping that he wouldn't have noticed. 
and wince and watch him, his face as it shifts, moving with each thought in his head. 
"gojo, i'm really--" 
"no," he interrupts, taking a step towards you. 
"what?" 
"that's not my name." 
you frown. "yes it is?" 
he shakes his head. "no, it's satoru. you've said it before, you know. you should keep saying it." 
"when have i said it?" you ask, momentarily blinded by how he demands this. who is he to demand anything? 
"when you were drunk." 
you scoff. "i'm not just going to call you by your first name cause you want me to," you tell him, "who do you think i am?" 
and then satoru laughs, shaking his head at you, his grin full-force on his face. "are you serious? you kissed me and now you don't want to call me by my first name?" 
you freeze. "i said i was sorry about that," you say, weakly. 
you feel like who you've always felt around him. not as easy, not as cool, never as smooth. you feel like a child caught doing something they're not supposed to. you want to run away from him, but he knows where you live. 
"you're sorry?" 
"i didn't mean to." 
he quirks a brow. "you didn't mean to?" 
"it was an accident?" 
he takes another step closer. "it was an accident?" 
"are you just going to keep repeating everything i say?" you ask, voice hard. this must be a dream. 
satoru shakes his head at you. "no, but i have a question." 
"...okay." 
"if i try to kiss you right now, are you going to try and murder me? i know that we're away from the apartment right now, but it would really ruin the mood." 
you stare at him. 
it must be answer enough because he steps forward and he kisses you again. but this time, it feels less mechanical. his lips are soft and smooth as they push against yours--and he pushes like he's demanding something from you. like he knows more about what you can give than you do. 
and he grins against you like he's doing everything exactly right. 
but when satoru pulls back, your eyes stay shut. you try and banish the feeling in your stomach from your body, but it doesn't respond to idle threats. 
"we shouldn't do this," you whisper to him. you don't open your eyes. you don't want to see his face and fall victim to another one of his schemes. 
"why not?" 
"the last time i kissed one of my roommates..." you imply, hoping that you don't have to tell him that you're scared. 
"oh, right," he brushes some hair from your face. he has not moved an inch away from you. "i forgot that you're experienced." 
"wasn't it obvious?" 
he laughs, and then nudges your cheek with a finger. "look at me." 
you shake your head. 
"c'mon, just a little." 
his voice is so soft. satoru is whispering like it's just for you. and you've never heard him like this and you don't think you want to see him. 
"please, sweetheart?" he asks, one last time, and you have to. if only to put yourself out of your own misery. "good. now listen--" 
"don't tell me what to do." 
he rolls his eyes. "listen," he repeats. "i know you don't like me very much. and i know that you only keep me around for my rent money and my pretty face--" 
you kinda want to hit him. 
"--but i've wanted to kiss you for weeks. and i'm not good at the..." he swallows, blinking just briefly. "all of the telling stuff, but i want to be. with you. for you." 
you're not sure if that's the end, or if it's the beginning. your eyes are stuck on his smile, and you're not listening to anything he said. 
he's very close right now. so accessible. and it's just another reason to want to push him away. 
satoru clears his throat, nudging your head with his nose. "and i'm tired of shoko and suguru calling me a coward, so it'd be great if you'd mention that you kissed me first." 
your brows furrow. "you told shoko and suguru?" 
"i didn't say anything," he almost swears. "they tricked me into admitting it." 
"when?" 
"...the day after i introduced you to them." 
you pull away to observe his face. "really?" 
he groans. "stop looking at me like that," he says, "it's mean." 
you almost smile at him again. then close your eyes. "okay."
"havent you listened to anything i've said to you?" he asks, rhetorically. "i flirt with you every day." 
"you flirt with everything." 
"mmm, true," he leans his chin against your head, breathing you in. "now that i've poured my heart out for you, can we go home? it's cold out here, and i'd rather make out on our couch than that bench over there." 
"who said anything about making out?" 
"please," he wraps an arm around your shoulder, and smiles down at you--with all of the typical swagger--and maybe this time you let him. 
*
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Text
Rigor Mortis (part 5)
College roommate!Miguel O'Hara x reader
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(AO3 Mirror) (Wattpad) Series Masterlist, Main Masterlist,
Part 4, Part 6
summary: You deal with the aftermath of last night. Lyla has a party.
warnings: very suggestive. mentions of sex, vulgar language, etc 18+ Minors DNI
a/n: this is so so so self indulgent i cannot express it enough. probably ooc asf: you've been warned.
Thank you to my beta readers, @tianyhi and @urgonnaneedabiggership (they also write Miguel fics, I highly recommend! my favourite is this series), I couldn't have done it without you guys <3
Join my taglists here
wc: 8.5k (i'm on a strict plan and had a lot to get through lmfao)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and they were good.
Eventually, you're bundled into your room in a fit of giggles and with shaky legs. Even in Miguel's hoodie, insisted upon by the man himself, the sheets feel a little colder after he leaves. Initially, he had collapsed on top of you; smothering you with the heat of his bare skin and the sweats that ride down his hips, dangerously low. You're pushing him off, or trying to, heavy and leaden-limbed. Whether it's the weight of that orgasm or the remnants of that blunt that turns your arms to jelly – you don't know.
Honestly, you don't think you care. He's resorted to laying his head on your chest in mock sleep – clearly still high as fuck – and stretching out on top like a housecat. He's warm on your lap; so you bring a hand to card through dark brown curls that rest on the flat of your sternum. 
You'd never have known it: Miguel has a playful side, beneath all the sarcasm and red tape. 
In the morning, he's gone - with only his hoodie as proof that something happened. For you, it's a hazy memory - warmth tinged in the lazy light of last night's high. It comes and goes like the tide on a quiet beach: remembering how he touched you, the feel of bare skin on bare skin, the way it burned when he kissed your shoulder…. 
And it's gone, again. You're left tracing the hickey at the base of your neck, and it aches . A little moment like that, fooling around like teenagers on prom night, and it shouldn't feel as intimate as it does. Groaning into your pillow, you burrow into the expanse of your roommate's hoodie. With a busy week incoming, you can't afford to be distracted – not like this. 
And so, you bury the urge to knock on Miguel's door, and put your lips around the words that mean… more. You want more. It feels greedy to verbalise it, as if you've seen too much of him already. The irony; humping almost fully clothed and yet, feeling so bare. It leaves a strange taste in your mouth – blood, maybe. Maybe he's finally done it: stuck the knife between ribs to find out what colour you bleed. Miguel's a scientist after all; prone to making things go pop and snap , slicing into specimens with a steady hand.
It's too much, too close for comfort and you can't afford it: affection and intimacy in any shape or size was a fatal wound , especially after last time. Instead, you let the morning waves crash over its outline left in sand. A body – blood and gristle and guts – washed away by the tide. 
You find yourself pushing down dangerous feelings. After finally getting comfortable with Miguel, all that progress seems for naught; bumbling around the apartment like a deer finding its legs. The first morning, you're spared a confrontation as he's already gone from the apartment. Earlier than usual, and you hand-wave away that little voice in your head that says: he's avoiding you . 
He's not. He can't be. And you know it because he's able to look you in the eye. Briefly, but it's much longer than you can last. You have a whole conversation when he comes home and it only makes you want to rip out your eyeballs a little. 
You're on the sofa, hands in your lap and antsy. There's a stupid soap on the TV, but you can barely concentrate; head too full of cotton to make sense of the screen. You're so lost in thought that when the door clicks open, you jump half a foot into the air. 
"Shit." You turn, watching Miguel kick his shoes off at the door. Flashing him a nervous smile, you wave limply and turn around to cringe. 
"Heeey," God. You burrow into the cushions. 
"Hey." He's got a plastic bag in hand. He drops the rucksack on his back, and goes straight to the kitchen. 
You call out. "Takeout's in the fridge." 
He hums, and you hear clattering from the doorway. Turning, you watch; sleeves rolled up in a smart shirt. You can see the muscles in his back from here; the ripple of hard lines under cotton. Craning your head, you can't help but be curious. 
"Stop sticking your nose in."
You're halfway off the couch, and stop dead in your tracks. 
"M'not-" 
He peeks out from the doorframe; catching you in the act. 
"You're not allowed to look."
It leaves you spluttering, getting off the sofa like a spoilt child. He's telling you not to look, and like clockwork you're itching for it; padding towards the counters. Miguel must have superpowers the way he catches you, leant against the doorframe with his arms crossed across his broad chest. You're on your tiptoes and trying to get a glimpse into the kitchen. He shifts in the way, tight-lipped and shaking his head. 
"Meant it. It's a surprise." You cock your head, like you can't believe what he's saying. 
You step to the other side and he steps along with you, blocking your view. 
"... Miguel ." You say it slowly, incredulous. You're stepping closer, ever so slightly, but he stays stony-faced and resolute. 
For the first time in 24 hours, since you basically fucked him in the room next door, you're looking each other in the eye. Squinting, you hold his gaze but he barely cracks a smile. 
"Sit down." He says it sternly, but his voice is soft. "Please."
With a flourish, you bring your hands up in surrender and inch back towards the couch. It's the usual chopping and thudding of cabinets being opened and closed. It takes everything not to look back, but you force yourself to concentrate on the TV. 
Finally, he places a bowl in front of you before flopping to your side. He's still in his work clothes, adjusting the waistband of black slacks and popping off the buttons at the top of his shirt. You're trying not to stare, not to drool at the way he just melts ; sinking into the seats like a lolly on a hot sidewalk. When he brings his bowl closer, that's when you inspect the contents of yours. 
"Is this…?" You start, and he hums; taking a healthy slurp of noodles in the process. 
You shake your head to no one in particular. It's the very same instant ramen you've stopped buying, after constant complaints and lectures from the man himself. There's enough salt in here to banish a demon, he'd spit. In retaliation you'd bite back, saying, maybe you'll fuck off where you came from, and retreat to your room to eat in peace. It's your favourite flavour; perfectly salty and flavourful and definitely not good for you. In the broth, there's the milky white and yellow of an egg, with spring onions and fresh veg breaking the surface. Even before you've taken a bite, you feel that warmth at your chest, again. 
He doesn't even look at you, pointing a finger at the screen instead. 
"I thought Jenny was dead?"
You clear your throat of that lump, rising up like a fishing boat spit up by the waves. 
"That was her twin sister, Jane."
"...I thought Jane was dead." He frowns. 
"No, no, Jane faked her death in the mining accident; and ran off with all that inheritance money… were you paying attention last episode?"
"No, you watched it without me."
"Yeah, but you said you hated this show–"
" –only because it's a total rip-off of La Patrona ," 
"And yet, you're begging me not to watch without you–" 
"Begging seems a little strong–" 
He's kept his sharp tongue, and you're too occupied with arguing to notice the hand wrapped around the back of the sofa; how you're both inching closer until your legs come to rest on his own. You're focusing on his lips, drawn in by a pull that seems stronger than gravity. 
He's saying your name, and you snap out of it. Blinking up at him, a deer in headlights, you remember yourself and look away. Tension pulls at the both of you, a string as thin as fishing wire that snaps with your realisation. You like the way he looks, flushed and flustered after a long day. You could make him feel even better, right now, if he wanted it. You'd drop to your knees and wrap a hand around his cock, pulling those beautiful sounds out of him – the very same ones you'd fucked yourself to the thought of, not so long ago. 
If, being the key word. And with the way he shifts back, away from you, you're not too sure if last night was a flash in the pan or something more. 
Everything about Miguel screams dangerous; flags in deep scarlet that are telling you to stay the fuck away. He doesn't commit, sleeps around; refusing to define or put a label on any significant relationship in his life. He won't even admit, say the words, that he's fucking a half-dozen girls right now; even when you've got concrete proof in the form of messy lips and banging on the walls. Okay, maybe half a dozen is a stretch; but three girls, on three separate, multiple, occasions for sure. Probably; you haven't technically seen anything but if the precision of last night was any indicator – the terrifying speed at which he made you fold like a lawn chair – he had significant experience. He was a fucking veteran; dedicated to the sport for the love of the game. 
You find yourself caught in his web all the same; kicking yourself at your naivete. He's turned away now, seemingly unfazed, making little comments at the show you've got on TV. It's becoming increasingly clear where you stand: caught in a game of chicken with your roommate – a man with balls of steel, if last night was any indicator. You're ill equipped to deal with such levels of conflict avoidance, despite years of hands on experience. 
The question remains, stuck in the gaps of your teeth like udon, thick and dense and chewy: how exactly does he feel about you? Where do you belong? 
~~~
It's been quite the week and a half, mostly spent trying to make sense of Miguel. One minute you're at each other's throats, and the next, he's talking you through rate laws and kinetics equations. Apparently , you've got a lecturer he used to have, and he insists on sidling up to you on the dining table; prodding at your paper and liberally crossing out errors. His inconsistency has you irate ; and it means you get petty, picking fights and laying easy bait. Frustratingly enough, all it does is make that tension worse; thick and choking ; in your little apartment. 
The only thing you have to look forward to is the party at Lyla's; of which you've volunteered to help set up. It means food, and drink, and a couple hours of respite, hopefully. 
On the day, you get to Lyla's early. Miguel's at work, promising to be there in a couple of hours, and so you take the subway instead. Yet again, walking up to her apartment feels like another world – one of marble and faux fur and lots of animal print. When she lets you up, you're left with only your thoughts and the quiet hum of the elevator. In the mirrored wall, you take stock of your outfit: snug denim and a little shirt. Admittedly, your wardrobe felt a little lacking – jeans and a nice top being your go to. Right now, your only hope is that the dress code would be more forgiving. 
The door swings open and Lyla's pushing you towards the living room, chattering away at a mile a minute. It's overwhelming as you're dragged into the light, half a dozen boxes and its miscellaneous contents strewn onto the floor. 
"–and Jess has the nose of a bloodhound, so if anything seems even a little off, she'll know… "
You nod slowly as Lyla squeezes your arm with so much force, it cuts off blood supply. 
"Like clockwork. We need this to run like clockwork."
Fingers numb, you watch as her features set; a wide smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and shadow that cuts her face just so. Overcast and dramatic; simply put, it's terrifying. 
There's a loud Pop! from behind, making you jump. 
"... sorry !" Peter's voice rings out, and there’s a tangle of brown hair and dark eyes peeking over the kitchen island. 
Walking over, you can see he's splayed out on the tiles, balloons littered all over the place. A balloon pump, long discarded, sits in its packet at barely an arm's length. More importantly, though, he's got a bundle of red hair and freckles in his arms; little May, sniffling and whining with what's left of a balloon between chubby fingers. 
"Might need some help, over here…" He says it softly, rocking the little girl in his lap. 
Lyla rolls up non-existent sleeves, face scrunched up in concentration. She closes her eyes ; fingers dancing as if typing on non-existent keys. 
"...okay, okay, change of plans." She turns to you, eyes wrenched open and hands clasped together – Machievellian in nature. You suppose; with the sheer extent of her party planning skills, able to pull strings this way and that; it fits. "We've got exactly 3 hours and 23 minutes before everyone else arrives, plus about 17 minutes, give or take, before Jess does."
"How do you kno-" You start, but Peter presses a finger to his lips. She's in the zone, he seems to mouth. 
“I need you and Pete to get these balloons done, and then we can set up the archway. I’ll call Ben, ask him where the fuck he is, and then we’ll see if we can get some banners and streamers up…. God , and the food…. think I need to threaten someone at the catering company, give me a sec,” She stalks off, muttering something that sounds important. Pete shrugs, kicking over a box of balloons; black, white and gold, a lot fancier than you had expected. May is eased off of his lap, and he presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head. She sniffles, holding her head up bravely. It's probably the cutest thing you’ve seen all year.
“I give her 5 minutes before she realises Miguel’s going to be late.”
“...and God help us when she does.” You finish for him, settling down on the cool marble. 
You make a start on the balloons, opening the untouched packets and pulling out a shiny pump.
“How long have you known each other?” You busy your hands by stretching the neck of a deceptively small balloon.
“Oh, Lyla?” He frowns. “A couple of years, maybe. We met because of Miguel – same with Jess and Ben, actually.”
It's your turn to frown. Miguel was the glue? It’s a picture that doesn’t quite match up with the meet-cute that you were painting in your head. If they met because of your roommate, it must’ve been a contentious group project, or someone rear-ended in the parking lot, that brought them together: something with a lot of shouting and arguing, you decide. 
Maybe Pete sees the surprise on your face, because he adds, “I’ve known Miguel for longer, though… and he’s a lot nicer than people give him credit for.”
“...I didn’t say he wasn’t.” Nice? Not a chance. 
“But you were thinking it. Promise, once you get to know him–”
He’ll give you a mind-numbing orgasm and pretend it never happened. Or something like that.
“ –he gets less confusing?” You grumble. “I’ve seen enough, I think.”
“So maybe he’s a bit of a prick. But under that cold, stony exterior; buried deep, deep, deep…”
You raise an eyebrow.
“Deep down , somewhere, he’s got a heart.”
“I just,” You pause, choosing your next words more delicately. “I didn’t expect his friends to be like you guys. Fun and–” …a little batshit, and… “ – spontaneous. He’s so stoic sometimes, it’s worrying. Like, he’ll just blank out on the couch–”
“–frowning in the corner like the wall’s pissed him off personally? Yeah, I’ve seen that one a few times.”
“He’s just so hot and cold! Sometimes we’re good and almost friendly, and then all of a sudden he’s avoiding me at all costs, holed up somewhere. A-And then he’s making me breakfast, like that blip didn’t even happen… did I do something wrong? Has he said anything to you? I-I just want him to–”
The man besides you chuckles. And then, you flash him a violent look that has him flattening his features in a hurry.
“He just… takes some time to warm up, s’all. He’s changed – changing. I mean, we went to highschool together and I didn’t even realise ‘til we met again in college.”
“You went to highschool with him?”
“Yeah, but I was like, 2 grades ahead of him. We didn’t really talk except… we were both in this robotics club afterschool.”
“Robotics? Wires, and circuit boards, and–”
“ –robots. Honest-to-God, hand-on-heart, stupid little robots. And being teenagers with way too much time on our hands, we’d build ‘em, and then make ‘em fight to the death. Miguel… he took it way more serious than everyone else there. We’d mess around with goobers and battlebots – hell, sometimes we’d skip to get food. He was.. He was always there, though, hunkered down in the corner and tinkering away at something.” 
“Now, I wasn’t popular in highschool, at all – I went to Robotics Club , so I think that about sums it up – but I remember… no-one could really understand him. Top of his class, always up for awards, but people thought he was a little weird. Come rain or shine, he’d always be in that corner seat with a screwdriver basically glued to his hand. And we didn’t have a clue what he was building.”
He seems wistful, thinking back to that time. 
“When I finally asked him what it was, at the end of maybe… 2 semesters,” He smiles, one that deepens his dimples and brushes the corners of his eyes. “He finally told us. It was a… a fucking arena for all the stupid stuff we built. He’d really thought it through, too: all our equipment would get jumbled up, so he made little boxes and sections to separate them in. There was an LED pad he’d programmed to keep a scoreboard. It was made out of this… self-healing vinyl so we wouldn’t need to replace it too often. He got so excited when he was explaining it all; about how it folded up so we could bring it with us when we changed classrooms, and… honestly, I think they still have it there.”
He sighs. “I think that’s all he knows how to do, y’know. That’s the language he speaks, the only one he really understands. Taking care of people, giving them what they need. You’re barely friends with Miguel, then all of a sudden he’s giving you hangover cures cooked up in his kitchen, and cussing you out in the morning, ‘cus you went a little too ham after a breakup. Or…he’s bringing pizza to your apartment at 3 in the morning, ‘cus he knew you were lying about being okay after your Uncle’s funeral.”
He’s got a faraway look in his eyes, an absentminded hand in May’s. Her stubby fingers curl around his, and then he’s back, snapped out of that distant daydream.
“Give it time. He’s been through some shit. Miguel’s got layers, like–”
“Like an onion?” You offer, weakly.
“No, no. Like one of those cheese wheel things that May likes so much. With.. with the wrapper and the waxy red stuff on the..?” He handwaves it away. “Forget it. MJ knows what they’re called.”
~~~
You put your back into helping set up. You don't quite get the theme, but Lyla explains it all whilst you hang the contents of those boxes on the wall: a maximalist, hedonistic mish-mash of food, drink and decor. She wants it to feel like if Gatsby three raves, and actually fucked that sad twink – whatever that means. The visual representation of an orgasm, but classy, she says. More, more, more; and if your back doesn't hurt by the end of it, then it's not enough. 
She's got you hauling ass across her front room, draping fabric and moving furniture like it's your job. Ben arrives and between the four of you (five, if you include May clambering on decor), it's all done. You can't help but think she's done a great job: the whole room decked out to look like the cover of an expensive wedding in Vogue – excessive but in a way that's only classy when rich people hire someone else to do it. Lush fabric in lieu of streamers draped on the walls, balloons sculpted into arches and tastefully dotted around the floor. The theme is black and white, with hints of gold, and gentle strings of pearl hang from ceilings and walls. It looks good, because it has to; Lyla's made you move everything around about a million times. 
Gleefully, she rubs her hands together, turning to all of you. "Food's going to be here in 10, I think. You guys get changed and I'll double check when Miguel's bringing the cake."
Peter and Ben disperse into various rooms – with Peter noticeably rubbing his back, May on his arm. You're left with Lyla, awkwardly looking towards her for guidance. 
"...get changed?" You look down at your woefully casual outfit. It seems you've come completely unprepared. 
"Yep. Miggy didn't tell you about the dress code?" 
…it's becoming increasingly difficult to cut your roommate some slack. With everything that's happened, rather conveniently, he's neglected to make any mention of a dress code. 
Sheepishly, you start, "I didn't know, shit –" 
Lyla cuts you off and brings a hand up to silence you. Bouncing on her toes, she's almost giddy with excitement. 
"I know exactly what you can wear!" 
She leads you upstairs to her room. You perch on her bed; and whilst you grapple with the fact that she even has an upstairs, you lose her in the deep depths of a walk-in. Lyla rummages through almost cartoonishly; wading through fur and leather and giant coats like an explorer hacking through dense forest. Eventually, she resurfaces, waving a bundle of white fabric. She hands it to you with a grin. 
She gives you some room, pushing you through the double doors of her closet to get changed. The dress feels amazing on: well-made, thick fabric and endlessly snug in all the right places. In the mirror, you marvel at how such a simple garment transforms you: a silky slip that stops about mid thigh, draped beautifully on your shoulders, and hugging your hips like a glove. There's a little slit at the side that stops just a bit higher than you'd usually be comfortable with, but… it works. Incidentally, your makeup and hair compliments the look; soft and pretty and–
You hear a small gasp from behind the door. Lyla's got her head peeking out into the room, and then she's at your side with a gentle hand on your arm. She spins you around in front of the mirror. 
"You look…" Her eyes light up, marvelling at you. " Gorgeous. You have to keep it."
"No, I can't… I won't . I was already underdressed, and this must have been expensive. I can't."
"No shit, of course it was expensive. But that's not a good enough reason… I barely wear it, and I've got more than enough clothes. Keep it ." She's smiling, head just over your shoulder in the mirror. 
"It's not too much…?" 
"Honestly, babe, it's not enough." She giggles. "D'you like it?" 
It feels weird to look at yourself like this, dolled up and pretty – contrasting how you've felt in the past few months. It feels like you've been in survival mode; exhausted and perpetually tired. On, all the time, and sick with worry about one thing or the other. You've forgotten to take care of yourself, and as a result, this feels different. 
Lyla notices: the way you stand up a little straighter and adjust your hair; the way you try your hardest to clamp down a smile. Do you like it? Slowly but surely, you nod. 
"You're allowed to like it, y'know," She says, softly. "You look happy. You look good. "
You believe it, when she says it. You let that feeling carry you down the stairs; one hand on the railing and Lyla babbling away with an arm looped around yours. 
~~~
Miguel is late – really late .
He was meant to be at Lyla'a about an hour and a half ago, which means he's rushing to get the cake. For once, at least that goes smoothly; and he picks up a little red velvet affair, piped to perfection and with " Happy 27th, Jess!" written on its face. It keeps him company on the way to the party, sitting snug on the passenger's seat as he drives more carefully than before. He figures it's better to be safe than sorry; already this late, there's no need to add cake smasher to the list. 
The day's been draining, and he wants nothing more than to curl up in bed with his favourite podcast. He knows his friends like the back of his hand, and knows that when Lyla says a small celebration for Jess, just a house party ; what she means is going the whole 9 yards, an excess of food and drink and disgustingly expensive decor, all for the sake of a birthday. He's had a glimpse of the guest list, and recognises about half of the people there – Lyla's too friendly for her own good, he thinks. He'd tried to talk her out of it, knowing Jess would be more than up for a smaller dinner, but she had her mind set. And it's impressive, what she's no doubt managed to achieve in the past few weeks of meticulous planning. 
Nevertheless, it's not something he has the energy for, right now. Work had been a slog; and he'd had a couple hours of lectures before a meeting with his thesis supervisor – where she had ripped his outline to shreds, frankly. He's still sore from that verbal lashing, but fears the one he'll get from Lyla more, if he doesn't come. 
And… and there's you, headstrong and stubborn and insisting on attending; even though he had made it abundantly clear you were under no obligation to do so. It must be out of spite, he thinks. But with the dress code, he can't help but daydream as to what you'd look like; maybe, a pretty little dress on, hair done a bit different, and… ohhh fuck. He didn't tell you about the dress code. 
He's gripping the steering wheel, annoyed at himself for such a little slip up. And it's not just the fact that he's forgotten; but he knows, considering the past few days, you might take it the wrong way. He's not stupid ; he knows he's been wishy-washy, all because it's hard to decide how he wants you or if he should. More than anything, he feels guilt; getting you high and oh-so close to fucking you, just the way you deserve, and then… he can't. It's hard to explain, and even harder for him to wrap his head around. That logical part of him screaming: you can't fuck your roommate without consequences. But he's already had a glance into Pandora's box, a taste of that sweet fruit – of temptation , strong and heady. 
It's that taste left in his mouth, of something sweet, that lingers when he walks into the party. The door's open, but even from down the hallway he can feel it: the rattle and shake of pumping music. He squeezes himself in, dodging the mass of bodies packed into the main room. The lights are low, music loud and the celebration well underway. More than anything, he's hoping it's so busy he can just show his face for a bit, and then slip out. 
He towers over other people, shuffling past, giving a nod or hello to all the people that slap his back and greet him. A scattered chorus of 'Hi' s and 'S'up, Miguel's, and then he's placing the cake on the counter, pushing past half-empty drinks and beer bottles. He snatches one up, looking around. He's watching for the furred collar that Lyla's no doubt wearing, or mousy brown in the neon lights; but with the pumping mass of bodies, he can't see much. 
He's ready to check upstairs when the crowd parts, and he sees you ; swirling in the mass. It makes his chest bloom with heat; you're gorgeous, dressed in white like an angel and smiling in a way he's never seen before. And then, his heart stops as someone else comes into view: another man, somewhat taller than you. There's an arm wrapped around your waist, and the man dances up against you in a way that makes something cold and bitter flare up within him. Miguel stays glued to the spot, for some reason, unable to take his eyes off of you: illuminated in the light, beautiful and flowing like a spectre. And like nails on a chalkboard, all he can do is watch as you dance up against someone else. 
His mouth goes dry, and then he's making a beeline for the double doors at the back; a glassy entrance to a balcony tucked away. The air is stifling in there, but when he's on the balcony, finally, he's able to breathe. 
There's someone nursing a brightly coloured drink, in its corner. Jess, big hair braided back and a velvety red jumpsuit on. She turns at the clatter of the door opening, before bursting into a wide smile. 
" Miguel!" She cheers, enveloping him in a hug. 
"Hey," He smiles warmly, sinking into her arms.  "Happy birthday, Jess."
"Thank you, kindly." She curtsies, producing a faux southern twang and laughing all the same. Then, she wags a finger at the man in front of her. "You're late . "
He rubs his temples. "I.. I know."
"Lyla's gonna fucking kill you. "
"I know."
She gives him a playful punch. "You okay, over there?" 
He gives her a rueful smile. "Yeah, Jess. Of course. When am I ever not okay?" 
"I've got a list, big guy, but we'll be here all day." 
She laughs and Miguel glances over through the glass; drawn to you even now. The song's changed, a bass line that rattles the panes, and you're still glued to that guy . Just as quickly, he looks away. 
With a front row view to that display, Jess raises an eyebrow. She follows his gaze, connecting the dots. 
" Oh. " Her voice is gentle. "S'that her?" 
" Her?" Miguel echoes.
" Her . Your roommate. The one Lyla says you're fucking."
"You and I both know– " 
"Okay, okay, maybe she didn't say those exact words…. but there's something there, for sure."
"Not possible . " He says it plainly, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. 
She leans against the railing, taking a careful sip of her drink. 
"Xina says you're doing stupid shit to impress her. Peter says you're making heart eyes whenever she's in the room. Ben says– "
"Xina? What's she got to do with anything?" He's deflecting, Jess notes. Miguel, usually so quick with the sarcasm, and he's refusing to touch the other half of what she said. 
"...you're tutoring half of her classmates."
He purses his lips. "Yeah, but I didn't think –" 
"...you didn't think girls would talk?" She splutters. Of course it sounds stupid, when she puts it like that. 
"Yeah, well, Xina's still not talking to me , so…" He trails off, shaking his head. 
"It's almost as if you broke her heart into a million tiny pieces, Mig." She rolls her eyes. "Get your head out of your ass, man." 
She turns to face the city and Miguel does the same, with a heavy sigh. It's quiet for a moment, with only the sound of cars below and dull thrum of speakers behind to keep them company. He's always liked this, he thinks. A moment of calm with Jess, the only sane person for miles around. They're able to sit in comfortable silence, in a half-minute that transcends words. 
He reaches into his front pocket, pulling out a little parcel that's wrapped up in red paper. He nudges Jess, handing the present over. 
"Happy birthday." 
She smiles, tearing into the little package. Then she stops halfway, heart melting at what peeks through. 
" Miguel… " She coos, a hand on his arm to steady herself. Out of the packing paper, she produces two little boots; red and blue and made of soft wool. "How did you…?" 
"It wasn't obvious, but… sick in the mornings, switching to soda when we go out to a bar…" He allows himself a smile. "And I asked what's-his-face, just to be sure."
"See, I can't tell if you actually don't know my husband's name or–" She cuts herself off with watery laughter. "F-Forget it. Fuck, I'm gonna cry all this makeup off,"
He takes a sharp intake of air. "They were… mamá made them." 
"Thank you, oh God . I know how much this–" 
He cuts her off with a hand wave, as if to say; don't worry about it. "Sorry I couldn't come to the wedding. Your husband seems nice, and he treats you well. Although , he's kind of–" 
" Corny . Yeah, we get that a lot." She's half laughing, half crying, fanning her face to stop her mascara from running. 
He wraps a big arm around her, pulling Jess into his side. Happy tears, he hopes as she blubbers. 
"I think m'getting too old for this… we don't see each other enough, lately… a-and I would've been happy with the dinner, then Lyla told me there was an emergency over here–" 
"She did good. Really good. Don't tell her I said that, though."
She nods, bringing a finger to her lips with a smile. "And you don't tell the other's about…"
"Of course not. When you're ready, Jess."
"I love you, man." She grins wide, and Miguel returns it with one of his own; an increasingly rare megawatt smile. It quickly falls with her next words. 
"If you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll break your kneecaps and blame it on the hormones." 
She grabs his beer, opening it with her teeth, and hands it back to him. A little scared, Miguel takes a healthy swig. 
"Oh, shit. " Jess exclaims, batting his arm. "I completely forgot. Lyla's got some stupid games on, upstairs."
"Who with?" 
"The usual suspects, Mig – though Peter's long gone and… I don't even know where Ben goes, actually. But you can bring your girlfriend up, if you promise not to eyefuck her across the room."
" Gross , Jess."
She raises a hand up in surrender, leading the way back inside. 
~~~
Miguel's here all of a sudden, and in a moment you thought would be more of a bang ; you lock eyes with him as Jess herds you upstairs. It's less of a sharp pain at the ribs and more of a crescendo; pooling warmth spreading to fingers and toes. He's still in his work clothes: crisp white shirt with a couple buttons undone, and black trousers. A little formal, and yet, he doesn't feel out of place; wearing the monochrome of the dress code, and looking twice as good as any man in the room. Somehow, you've forgotten how tall he is; lumbering over everyone else as he cuts between the crowd. He snakes behind you, giving you a strange look as you walk up the stairs. All of a sudden, you're weary of your dress, tugging down its hem as best you can. Miguel stays behind you, a gentle hand at the small of your back. 
"You're okay," He whispers, sending shivers down your spine. " I've got you ."
He doesn't mean it like that , but it's too easy for you to close your eyes and imagine what it could be; words he kissed into skin when you're on top, struggling to take his length. 
You ignore that coil tightening at the pit of your stomach, choosing instead to focus on Lyla stumbling through the door,  trademark pink shades slipping down her nose. Behind her, there's a little sitting room; plush furniture and a massive tv – with quite a few consoles in the corner, you note. She shouts your name, barely audible over the music. 
" – oh, and hi, Miguel!" She's too drunk to be mad, and you don't notice Miguel visibly relaxing. She takes your hand, calling over to Jess just behind you. "We saved you a mocktail, J."
Taking your seat, you settle down next to Lyla; perching with your legs crossed on the seat. Miguel sits some way away, on the opposite side of your makeshift circle, clearly trying not to make eye contact. Jess elbows him, and he turns to her, before having a heated argument; all hushed whispers and hand gestures. It's the most animated he's been in the past week, for sure… 
"We're playing Never Have I Ever, Jess! Like back in college."
The woman in question rolls her eyes, giving a flash of pretty dimple. Back in college, Lyla says, when they'd drink cheap beer and spill their guts in dive bars – a tradition Jess wasn't too upset to see go. She didn't have the stomach for it then, and she doesn't now; but it probably wouldn't hurt to relive some of that fun. 
It's a warmup round, so to speak; a strong drink thrust into your hands. You take turns going around the circle, starting off relatively tame. First, it's Never have I ever skipped a class. Everyone, all college aged or older, drinks to that one. It's practically a given. And then someone chips in with Never have I ever broken a bone . Again, most people drink – taking advantage of the freebies to get a little tipsy. 
It's Lyla that throws out the juicy ones, after a couple of duds. 
" Never have I ever faked an orgasm." She says it from behind her glass, giggling. 
Less people drink, this time. Sheepishly, you raise your glass, taking a healthy gulp. Lyla takes the opportunity to gasp, clutching at her chest and fanning her forehead dramatically. 
You're whispering back, half laughing and half telling her off, "That's not that weird, Ly. Hasn't everyone…?"
"Not me. How's your partner meant to know it's shit if you fake it?" 
It's her sincerity that makes you laugh; wide-eyed and completely incredulous. You're clamping down the giggles when you look around, immediately locking eyes with Miguel. He gives you an odd look, as if amused. 
You're up next, and roll up metaphorical sleeves. "Never have I ever had a threesome. "
There's murmuring around the room, and a couple of people take a drink. Lyla does, with glee, and someone else you don't quite know the name of. What surprises you, however, is when Miguel takes a swig; eyes locked onto yours. 
You feel heat rising, blinking away as best you can. You still feel his gaze, of course. That game of chicken, the one you've so desperately been trying to avoid, rears its ugly head. You think Miguel is winning. 
The questions get more and more provocative. Never have I ever been pegged… or pegged someone else. Lyla drinks, Jess takes a gulp of her fruity mocktail…. and so does Miguel. Never have I ever been cheated on. Most people drink to this one, including yourself. A shitty teen relationship barely counts, you suppose; but you're taking every opportunity for a drink right now. 
Never have I ever cheated on someone. One or two people drink, and at least they have the decency to be ashamed. When Miguel drinks, however, you shift in your seat. Something settles within you, discontent. Yet again, your image of the man in front of you changes. For someone who sleeps around, maybe it's not too much of a stretch for him to cheat ; but the word feels so final, too cruel. It doesn't match up, for some reason, with your Miguel, who brings you piping hot noodles and hot water bottles on a bad day. 
This time, he doesn't meet your eye. 
Lyla decides she's bored, bouncing on the balls of her feet. 
"New game – truth or dare!" There's faux groans from around the room. Lyla sticks a tongue out, ignoring them, and continues. "Jess, as the birthday girl… you get first pick."
Jess lights up, gorgeous , with the hoops at her ears swinging to and fro when she looks around. You haven't spoken much to her, but she seems like good fun; making a whole song and dance of picking the first victim. 
It's obvious, in hindsight, who she'd pick. There's only one person in the room visibly squirming, almost sweating , at the idea of something so out of his control. 
" Miguel," She says, turning to the man sinking into cushions. "Truth or dare?" 
He gives her a look, and she combats it with one of her own; the kind that could melt steel beams, and says It's my birthday, don't be a dick. 
" Dare ." He grits his teeth. 
"I dare you," She pauses for dramatic effect. "...to show us your porn watch history." 
Imperceptible, his eyes flash towards you. You notice , mouth dry. He groans. "We're not 19 anymore, Jess. It's childish. I'm a grown ass man–" 
" Truth or Dare , Mig."
"Truth." It's quick – which is very reasonable, considering her tone. 
"When was the last time you fucked someone?" 
Everyone turns to Miguel. He's looking at you, of course, wincing at the words he's about to say. 
"I don't…" He's swirling the beer bottle in his hand, and then he shrugs noncommittally. "I don't know. A… month, maybe."
" Bullshit!" Someone whisper-shouts, and then there's some laughter. 
Jess' eyebrows jump up, and Miguel bats her concerns away, whispering something under his breath. You can't quite catch it but his body language is clear: don't ask. He downs the rest of his drink, lips around the bottle, as some liquid trails down the side of his jaw. You're watching, unrepentantly obvious, and he catches your gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he swipes a finger to the liquid and licks it up.
Heart racing, you force yourself to look away and try to concentrate on the next few dares. The circle seems to have moved on, more interested in whatever juicy shit they can drag up in the next poor victim. 
You've all but zoned out when it's the turn of Jun, egged on by a couple of friends. You frown. He's that guy you were dancing with earlier, caught up in heady music and swirling lights. Jun is handsome, in that famous starlet kind of way; square-jawed, pretty eyes, and dark, cropped hair. Boy wonder is lean-lined with a nice smile; the very same that had reeled you in on the dancefloor. Maybe it's the liquor, but you think he's looking at you now; raking sharp eyes over your figure. 
"How do you know him?" You whisper to Lyla. 
She cups a hand to your ear, more than halfway to being absolutely wasted. 
"Used t-to work with him. He's nice enough, I think…? There was a rumour around the office; and apparently, he's got a massive di-" 
"Truth or dare?" Someone says. 
"Dare. Obviously." He flashes a smile in your direction. 
You squirm, and Lyla shines with realisation. 
"Oh my God." She whispers, and then she's interrupting before you can stop her. "Makeout with the hottest girl in the room. A proper one, tongue and teeth and–" 
You elbow her, square in the ribs. Thankfully, she takes the hint. Jun cocks his head, as if mulling it over. He gets up. 
Your head spins with the drink, and you're concentrating on keeping your sneakers flat on the ground. Head down, you don't notice the man walking over. He crouches, tapping your knee. 
"Oh." You say, blinking up at him. "Hi, again."
"Hi, again." He smiles. It's like you're the only two in the room, and with the way he looks at you, eyes darting to your lips… "Can I kiss you?" 
The words get caught in your throat, so you nod, fumbling. 
He places a hand to your chin, gently pushing you closer and then you're kissing; sweet and gentle. You separate, and you open your eyes to find his blown . You've got tunnel vision: his lips are pretty and wonderfully swollen – you just can't help it. 
You go back in again, parting your lips to let him in. He's cradling your jaw, tracing a hand up your thigh and it feels good. Closing your eyes, you sink into the heady haze of booze, grabbing at his shoulders. They're not as broad as Miguel's, and Jun isn't as clean shaven. When you snake a hand to the nape of his neck; it's rougher than your roommate's hair, cropped into a boyish cut instead of Miguel's gentle curl. Sighing, you both come up for air, and you're almost disappointed at the distinct lack of red-brown blinking back at you. 
Nails on a chalkboard, and you're back in the room. You look around to amused faces, catching Lyla wide-eyed besides you. Jun's cheeky, placing a quick peck to the side of your mouth before sitting down. From your vantage point, you're scared to look, to really look , in fear of what you'll see. 
Miguel, in the corner, with a white hot grip on his beer bottle. Catching that stormy gaze, something just clicks. Something resembling power, absolutely intoxicating, that heady rush you got from kissing someone else. Or, more accurately, getting a reaction from your roommate. Notoriously unwavering, and yet … he reveals a gap in his armour. A silent swipe to the ribs that doesn't kill, but draws blood. 
People are dispersing now, growing tired of the games. Lyla darts off; with the attention span of an excited pomeranian, and the excessive alcohol, she's already lost interest. You take a breather, sinking into plush cushions and catch Miguel's eye. In the commotion, he's tossing his beer and walking up to you, as if gearing up to say something. 
Someone sits into the seat besides you: tall and handsome, but definitely not Miguel. It's Jun, who smells like fresh flowers and cut grass, nudging your side. 
"You're good at that," He says, with a little smile. 
"Good at what?" You say, confused. 
"That kiss." He seems a little bashful, probably sobering up. "It was… good. "
"Not…" You're distracted, eyes flicking over to find Miguel. He's gone. "Not my best work, I think."
He stretches an arm around the back of the sofa, caging you in a little closer, and all you can do is blink up at him. 
"....you want to try again?" 
He's handsome. He's flirting . And he's present; able to give you clear signs that he wants you. It's more than a certain someone can provide, and you're left with a deep-seated need that no-one else seems to be able to fulfill. Four words ring out in your head, clanging around like pinball. You. Might. Get. Laid. 
It's enough to have you leaning up against Jun, a hand tracing circles in his thigh and fluttering your lashes as best you can. Hopefully it's a look that's says seductive, and not pink-eye. This far into the night, you don't quite have the energy to care. 
Heavy petting and drunk giggling; you spend God knows how long in that little room, whispering stupid shit to each other. You introduce yourself, and so does he. A brief overview of your life; and you find yourself desperately trying to skip the small talk. Jun works with computers. You're a student. Jun is very good with his hands. You're a visual learner. Everything seems to fall into place. 
Soon enough, you're swapping numbers and leading him out the door to somewhere more private . His apartment ; you find yourself hoping, as you make your way downstairs. 
He's draping a jacket on your shoulders, and you wade through the crowd. The lights are spinning a little less, you find, holding onto Jun's palm. In that great big room; people packed in like black and white sardines; all you're looking for is something to tether yourself to – or someone. Relationships, you've learnt, were overrated. You're young, and single, and gorgeous ; able to bag whoever you want. And what do you want? A hookup, clearly; something simple and uncomplicated, without the mess of feelings to untangle yourself from in the morning. 
There's a commotion from a corner of the room, and Jun pulls you back; craning his head to see. A jumble of people, crowded around the epicentre. He nods towards the bustle. 
"Isn't that Miguel?" He shouts over the bass, and your eyes widen.
You push past, trying to get a better look. Flashing lights, pumping music. In the red and blue and black, he's there ; hand wiping a bloodied nose. He's saying something; and a couple of guys surround Miguel, giving rough shoves and shouting something you can't hear. Someone throws a punch and he takes it, barely shifting at the continuous blows. 
It's a sobering sight, and you're worried; looking left and right at the onslaught of bystanders.
"Why isn't he fighting back ?" You say, barely audible. No-one's doing anything but watching; one or two even pulling their phones out to record. The sight makes you sick, and you're shouting his name, trying to get closer. Like a gunshot, sudden and sharp and cutting through the noise, he locks eyes with you. His eyes dark, with that same look he gave you not too long ago. 
Another cruel kick, and he's down on one knee, clutching at his stomach. You notice the broken glass, the blood in his shirt. He's goading them, and still , he refuses to fight back. 250 pounds soaking wet and at least 6"5; he's a fucking killer – and everyone knows it. Why won't he fight back?
There's a pounding at your skull, and something deep and dark and complicated that twists around your insides, threatening to rise up – and then.. and then… 
The lights are turned on, and the music stops. Lyla's at the stairs shouting obscenities; telling everyone to get the fuck out, or I'm calling the cops. 
People disperse out the doors, but only a few rush towards Miguel. You do, of course, and then Jess is by his side to help him up. He must look worse than he feels because despite the bruising and pouring blood; he pinches the bridge of his nose like he always does, as if it's just a headache. He's laughing ; the smug bastard; incisors sharp and dangerous and flashing pearly white. Your heart's still racing; betraying complicated feelings. As the last dregs drip out of Lyla's apartment, you're all left to deal with the aftermath. 
Jess looks shaken, Lyla's sobering up; and you're holding Miguel's hand, elbow deep in the oil spill. 
_
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lalacliffthorne · 7 months
Text
modern!batboys as (your) roommates - headcanons.
because let's be honest, we have all thought about that at some point.🦇
(this is the introduction of my new drabble universe!!! I can´t tell you how fucking excited I am.)
it would be wrong to say that your life was boring before you met the three idiots you now call your roommates
sure, it wasn't as exciting
but you had your tiny little apartment, went out with friends once in a while and mostly enjoyed having your own space and routines
but then
shit hits the fan
and by shit I mean your landlord
because of a loophole in the rental agreement, he's able to kick you out of your apartment with only a months notice
in other words
you're fucked
or, as your best friend Feyre, who you met the first week of orientation and became inseperable with, says -
"That bastard." Feyre's eyes are stormy.
"What the hell am I gonna to do?" You bury your face in your hands, your voice muffled when you mumble: "How am I supposed to find a new apartment in a few weeks? For this one, I looked over a year, and it's a glorified shoebox!" Your voice rises as you feel a wave of dread crash over you and your heart rising into your throat.
"Hey, it's okay. If worst comes to worst, you can crash at my place,", Feyre raises her brows, "even though we'd have to share my bed, but - I won't just let you sleep on a park bench if that's what you're worried about. Unless you find another glorified shoebox that's technically out of your budget, it's you and me, crashing on my bed, climbing over your stuff to get to the bathroom, finding out what married life would feel like."
even though you love her to death, that really does not sound like an option you want to explore
so you try everything
scouring every paper for apartment advertisments, posting on your uni's socials, going to all the viewings you can find -
nothing
but just when you're ready to just give up
a miracle happens
the miracle is 5'5, has impeccable style and hair, a love for deep red lipstick and drops by for lunch
Mor has been your friend for two years now, since you almost spilled your coffee over her laptop at the library
(she's still not letting you live that down)
she also likes to get you out of your comfort zone
"Are you serious?" Mor stares at you wide-eyed.
"Yep." You tiredly stir your coffee. "I've been turned away for twenty apartments in the past few days alone. I'm aready seeing myself bunking with Feyre. She offered, but her bed barely fits into her apartment as it is."
Mor breathes a giggle before hastily clearing her throat. "Sorry."
You grin weakly before rubbing your face. "I don't know what I'm gonna do. I know it could be even worse, but -"
"It already feels pretty shitty,", Mor ends. You sigh in confirmation and are about to change the topic, because you haven't seen the blonde in weeks and feel bad about ruining your lunch. But before you can open your mouth, Mor suddenly squints in thought. Then she looks at you.
"How much do you value your privacy?
Given the fact you'll be basically homeless on the street in about a week if you don't find a new place - not much.
Mor begins to grin, and there's a bright twinkle in her eyes.
"Well, then I might just have the solution."
the next day, Mor drags you downtown
she takes you to an old but sophisticated building you wouldn't even dream about living in
a single month's rent there would probably empty your whole bank account
but Mor just winks and pulls you up the stairs
on the third floor, a guy leans in an open door
and that
is how you meet Rhys.
Mor's cousin is annoyingly beautiful
tall, with perfectly tousled dark hair, a perfect grin that causes his cheeks to crease and, from the looks of it, the also perfect physique
he's also annoyingly charming
(if you'd met him somewhere without Mor, you would have probably gaped for a moment before catching onto the mischievous twinkle in his nearly violet eyes and promptly avoided him, because someone that pretty had to have some fault)
as it turns out, Rhys' fault is offering practical strangers to live with him without even batting an eye
"What?"
You blink at Mor from where you just sank onto the very comfortable couch, because she can't possibly -
"Okay, before you freak out, just listen, okay?" Mor is grinning giddily. "The guys have a free room they don't really use anyway and you really need a new place - so you could just move in here!" She beams. "The place is definitely big enough, and you'd fit in perfectly, I promise! They're just as chaotic as you, but also very responsible -"
"Mostly." Rhys' eyes are twinkling. He's looking completely and slightly concerningly unbothered by the prospect of you, a factual stranger, moving in with him and his friends.
"- they don't have any bad habits, they're fairly neat -"
"Mostly."
Mor widens her eyes at you. "It's perfect!"
You blink at her.
"I've already talked to my roommates." Rhys' deep voice is almost soothing - mostly because he sounds a lot calmer than Mor, steady and reassuring.
"If you want, this can be temporary, until you find a place just for yourself, but this way you don't have to stress about needing to find a place in a certain time, plus,", he cracks a grin, "I don't like the idea of you having to crash on somebody's couch in the foreseeable future, that's just bullshit if we got a free room here no one uses anway. And if this works,", one corner of his lips quirks even more until his grin is a lot closer to the wicked twinkle in his eyes, "none of us would mind another roommate."
"You don't have to decide right now." Mor smiles brightly. "But I think it would be great, and you'd make a bargain with the rent, because Rhys loves to play sugar daddy -", her cousin flips her off, "and I think this would be a really good idea." She grins, suddenly a little sheepish.
if you weren't so desperate, you would whip out about a dozen arguments about why this probably isn't a good idea
like the fact that rooming with three dudes sounds like a lot of testosteron, or that you don't even know them, and that they don't even know you -
but from the way Rhys lounges in his chair, smirking easily while Mor beams at you, he doesn't seem to see too much of a problem in that
also you are very, very desperate
but there´s still that one thing -
"About those roommates -"
When you hear the door, you raise your head, your heart doing a slightly concerning flip in your chest.
It's a day later, and you just finished a tour of the apartment Rhys has given you. Even though it's huge and very grand with it's high ceilings decorated with stucco and the original hardwood floors, it feels warm and cozy. The room you'd be sleeping in is as big as your whole current apartment, light with two big window and a view of the trees on the street outside.
It kind of makes you wonder where the catch is.
Maybe it's about to walk through the door.
You hear a deep voice and heavy footsteps, then a dude appears in the door to the kitchen.
Your heart does a somersault, and you feel your lips part a bit. Because frankly, it's a miracle he makes it through the door without hitting his head.
The guy's huge. His shoulders and chest strain against his t-shirt; he looks like one of those dudes who basically have muscle in their DNA, all corded muscle under ridiculously huge shoulders and a solid middle, muscular long legs under black jeans -
And you're staring.
Big time.
The dude's looking over his shoulder, which means he thankfully doesn't notice you oggling him. The half of his hair that isn't pulled back in a bun brushes against his neck when he grins, his cheeks creasing. He's really good looking, in a rugged kinda way, with his roughly curved jaw and the scar on the side of his face, and when he looks back ahead, his eyes twinkle warmly.
Then, behind him, another guy appears in the doorway, and your breath catches.
Because if Rhys is annoyingly beautiful, the guy in the door is drop-dead gorgeous.
Just like the other two, he's tall and all lean muscle. His shoulders shift under his black t-shirt as he leans against the doorframe, his hands sliding into the pockets of his black jeans. His eyes look like amber in sunlight, his dark hair is tousled, a strand curving over his forehead. His face is all angles and soft lips, dark brows that look like he likes to crunch them in a scowl, but right now, he looks fairly relaxed, though his gaze is watchful.
And on yours.
Feeling warmth wash into your cheeks, you hastily look away while crap, crap, crap echoes through your head, because of course he caught you staring.
On to a really great start here.
Your gaze grazes his hands and the bit of uneven skin that merges into veiny, tan forearms before your eyes trail over the tattoos peaking out from his sleeves.
There's the sound of someone clearing their throat, and you feel the heat in your cheeks deepen when your eyes dart up and meet Rhys', a twinkle in his iris when he sends you a lazy grin.
"Boys, this is Y/N." He raises a brow. "Our new roommate."
and that is how you meet Cassian and Azriel
it almost makes you reconsider
because you're really not sure you're gonna survive rooming with three guys that pretty
but after thinking it over for a few days, you realize that you really don't have a choice
and so a week later, Rhys and Cassian come over to your apartment to help you move the first half of your stuff
neither blink an eye at the fact it's about the size of a broom closet in comparison to their home
Rhys does however scowl when he sees the condition of the bathroom
you're ready to sink into the floor when you hastily explain pretty much all the apartments in the building look like that
(a lil dingy and moldy)
but when he turns, Rhys just glowers and grumbles under his breath about how he'd like to rip your landlord a new one
it's the first time you realize that under all the aloofness and swagger and cheeky grins, Rhys cares
it's proven again when you move into your new room a week later and there's a new mattress on the also new bed bed
you haven't bought either of them, but when you try to protest, Rhys just huffs about your back probably being fucked up because of your old one and about how he'll add it to your rent
he never does
you get used to rooming with three guys surprisingly quickly
sure, it is pretty much a total 180 -
going from living alone in a tiny apartment
to sharing a huge flat with three dudes who make the place vibrate with laughter and bicker like they have been married for thirty years
but even tho you never thought you'd be the type to actually enjoy having roommates
you find that with them - you don't really mind
of course it is nice to have the place to yourself sometimes
and after about two weeks, you're comfortable enough to blast your music and dance through the kitchen when you're alone
(yes, at some point, they catch you - it takes you about a minute to realize there are three guys standing in the doorway, watching you dance with a broom. you get a mild heart attack and Cassian and Rhys start cackling while Azriel smirks)
but even if usually there's always someone around -
you find that all three of them are very good at both respecting your boundaries and leaving you be when you need to curl up in your room
but also seem to know when you need someone to drag your ass out into the world
and something about knowing at least one of them will probably be there when you get home makes you feel very warm and fuzzy
and even tho you weren't completely sure about this situation in the beginning
you get roped into living with the three guys instead of just rooming with them
it really starts with Cassian
probably gets used to you living there the quickest
after barely a week, he's treating you like you've lived with them since the beginning
like just sticking his head into your room and roping you into helping him with dinner
it surprises you a little that they all have dinner together
(from what you've heard from friends who have roommates, they usually all do their own thing most of the time)
but it makes you realise that these guys are more family than just roommates
Cassian is surprisingly easy to talk to
he's quick with the quips and the banter
also very flirtatious
constantly makes you laugh, his deep, boisterous chuckles infectous
also super affectionate
you're convinced that the man is actually just a huge teddybear
after just a few weeks, you're used to hugs that lift you off your feet, cheek kisses as greetings and being casually lifted out of the way like you don't weigh anything
not that you're the only one who gets that treatment
no, there are hugs in greeting that make Rhys groan dramatically like his air supply is cut off
pats on the shoulder and smacking forehead kisses that make Azriel crinkle his nose
Cassian quickly becomes the one you go to when you need advice.
he always listens attentively
doesn't sugarcoat things
stays objective while never making you feel bad or less about anything
and it quickly becomes pretty clear he'd put everything aside if any of you ever need help
gives you rides in his beat up truck to uni
always picks you up when studying at the library gets late bc he doesn't like the idea of you out alone after dark
with Cass, even mundane things like grocery shopping become fun
he's just casually funny and teases the shit out of you at every opportunity
has no understanding of the concept of personal space
and with most people, that would kinda put you off a little in the beginning
but Cassian just has something about him
something so inheritly good and warm and sunny
that he never once makes you feel uncomfortable
if anything, with him around, you feel a lot more at ease
and not just bc it's always nice to have a guy in your back that towers over you like a lighthouse
though the whole massive, tatted dude with the dark eyes thing kinda goes out of the window as soon as he grins at you
dimples and all
but don't be fooled
when the grin's gone and he's glaring, you know why people make way for him immediately
works at a gym to earn some money at the side
once, he takes you with him just for fun
then one time becomes another and before you know it, you tag along twice a week
it would be wrong to say it's not doing something to you when he crouches in front of you, his deep voice rumbling as he mumbles encouragements
"Alright, come on, sweetheart, gimme one more."
Trying not to make a very embarassing groaning sound, you crunch your face in concentration and slowly lower yourself into a squat, your muscles trembling slightly.
"There you go, that's it." You can feel Cassian in your back, spotting you, his deep voice rumbling through you, and it's just almost distracing enough for you to -
"No, no, come on, you can do it." Cassian's deep chuckle sets you at ease, and he lightly pats the side of your thigh. "You got this, c'mon."
With a soft groan, you push yourself up again, and you can hear the triumph and wide grin in Cassian's voice when he goes: "Yeeessss, good job, baby. C'mon, you can do one more."
Blowing out a heavy breath and glaring at nothing in particular, you ready yourself.
when one day, he makes you lose focus, you're gonna throw something at him
you're pretty sure he does it on purpose just to see how red you can get
but Cass is really good at pushing you without overdoing it, always teasing and encouraging
and if you manage to do something, in the gym or otherwise, he grins so widely you're almost sure he's more proud of you than you are yourself
Rhys is a flirt.
and after you get over the first initial blush that just won't leave you alone for the first few weeks
it actually becomes entertaining
now bantering back and forth is basically all you do
it gets so bad, Azriel constantly rolls his eyes at the two you
but just like you suspected, behind all the flirtiness and mischievous grins
Rhys cares
a lot
whenever you´re upset, he looks like he's contemplating ripping apart whatever or whoever made you upset
and whenever someone has a go at Cass or Azriel, Rhys picks them apart with lethal precision and a wicked smile
if Cassian is most affectionate, Rhys is close second
he's slightly more casual about it
pinching your nose, flicking your ear softly, offering his cheek for a kiss in greeting
always down for amazing hugs tho
whenever you get on your period, Rhys turns full mother hen
it's actually quite entertaining to see a 6-foot-something dude grumble because you don't want to take painkillers
"I just don't like to take them until it's really necessary, okay?" You glower at Rhys, curling up on the couch and trying to suppress a wince.
Rhys incredulously narrows his eyes.
"You're bleeding from your uterus and look like you want to curl into the couch. I'd say it is pretty necessary."
behind all the snark and arrogance, Rhys cares
also seems to have a rather unhealthy tendency to put everyone else first
you catch on pretty easily that even though his father is absolutely loaded, Rhys doesn't particularly cares about his money
in fact
he doesn't hesitate to spend whatever money his father pumps into his bank accounts for a second
when you ask Mor about it, she just smiles lopsidedly.
"I think it's his kind of protest?" She squints into the sun shining onto the balcony of the flat, the big glass of iced tea in her hand glittering in the light. "You know, spending all that money, preferably on his friends? Mostly because I don't think his father really likes them."
You wince.
"He knows he can't win against his father." Mor crunches her brows in thought. "I think he came to terms with having to take over the business one day, and he cares about the people who have their jobs there, so he won't let them down. It's just hard sometimes, if your whole life is already planned for you." She shrugs gently. "Doing this, living with Cassian and Azriel and now you, spending his fathers money on it and actually having a good time than just being bitter and stuck up - it's his way of not surrendering completely."
you have never met Rhys' father, but even tho he's powerful af
you really feel a strong desire to kick him in the balls
Rhys has a knack of knowing exactly when you need to talk and when you need to be distracted
it's not unusual that after a bad day, he just joins you on the couch, plopping down and pulling your feet onto his lap
it either leads to you venting and him listening
usually giving very appropriate responses of either huffs, scowls or downright glowering
or, if you don't want to talk
he either lets you use him as a human pillow, grumbling over your choice of movie while scratching your head
or he takes you out
to the cinema, a museum, the theater
you're pretty sure you've grown a lot more cultured in a few months than the whole of your life before that
it never gets boring tho
the whole thing kinda annoys the crap out of you in the beginning bc he never lets you pay for anything
but you get better at finding ways to pay him back in other ways
like taking over making dinner on days when he's exhausted
coaxing rants out of him when his father gets to him
dragging him out on nightly walks through the city when he can't sleep
and after a while
you understand that it's just one of Rhys' love languages
and it is fun to spend his father's money ;)
especially when it means museum saturdays with the two of you just sitting and staring at paintings
or going to the cinema and pigging out on popcorn and greasy stuff while whisper hissing facts at each other
even takes you to stuff like wine tastings
Rhys is a foodie
likes super fancy pickles, trying food you can't even pronounce and splurging on dinner
and if he decides the two of you need to get out of the apartment
one way or another
it usually ends in a restaurant
always orders like half the menu
also cooks the best out of all of you
like I'm talking freaking perfection
whips up the fanciest, most delicious far-too-many-courses meal for holidays
and goes all in even if he just makes dinner
you often get lured into the kitchen by the delicious smells
usually ends up with you on the couch at the table while Rhys moves around the kitchen
talking about everything and nothing
(also not above slapping anyone's hand away if they try to sneak a taste)
Azriel is quiet
not shy; you catch onto that pretty quickly
he's too quick and easy on any dry remark in response to his friends' boisterous teasing for that
and his gaze too firm and piercing
rarely shies away when you catch his gaze
in the beginning
that intimidated the shit out of you
the way he appears without a sound, towering over you, all dark and quiet and brooding
it's like he perfected the art of going unnoticed
tho you're not quite sure how
bc how could anyone not notice him?
after a while tho
you realise that even tho Azriel is dark and glowering and brooding
there's something gentle about him
it surfaces in the smallest things
like how his lips curve the softest bit when you grin up at him
how light and careful his touch is
how he is always respectful, putting himself between you and the street, holding doors open without ever seeming to think twice about it
and how everything about him seems to darken when he witnesses anyone being treated poorly
but even if anger rages within him like a rising tide, quiet and dangerous
you still always feel safe with him
maybe it's bc, even in those moments, you just know it will never be directed at you
and that even tho there's always that darkness within him, it's never something that feels unsettling or dangerous
and instead soft and welcoming
like something about him and that steady, dark gaze just calms you
maybe because he's so quiet, Azriel seems to see and hear everything
in record time, he begins to catch onto every little detail about you
mundane things
like how you like your favorite drink or what your favorite ice cream is
the only reason you know he notices is because he begins to hand you cups in the morning that are exactly right and the freezer starts to always hold a big container of your favorite ice cream
but also seems to know exactly what your tell is when you're nervous
uncomfortable
or tired
what makes you upset
happy
nervous
what causes you to giggle uncontrollably
and so on
it should probably unsettle you, how easily he sees through you
but it doesn't
sure, it's a bit weird at first
but you quickly realise it's strangely comforting - that someone pays enough attention to know even the smallest thing about you
is your favorite person to be around when you just need a break
it's like something about him is grounding, steady to you
like being around him makes your thoughts calm down
makes it easier for you to sort the chaos your mind sometimes becomes
beneath all of the quiet watchfulness lies a wicked, dry sense of humor
his mumbled remarks make you snort laughter or beam widely up at him
always makes his lips curve
reads a ton
when you first see his room, you almost gape
because the guy has books
they fill the shelves
balance in towers on the floor
sit on the window sill and next to his bed
most of the books in the shelves in the living room are his as well
has a great dislike for movie adaptions
sits there with that scowl of his, glaring at you until it's over when you make him watch one
says it destroys the pictures in his head
(to be fair
you don't think he's entirely wrong about that)
always has a camera in reach
got a few, all older ones; no fancy digital ones, but all on film
just like he seems to catch onto everything
so does his camera
it's like the manifestation of his quiet perception of things
to fix things onto film
captures everything
most of the time, you don't even notice
only sometimes you raise your head to find the camera in his hands, a slight curve to his lips
develops all pictures himself, in a dark room on campus students can book
spends hours in there, just working in silence
there's usually a lot of bugging involved before he shows the developed pictures to anyone
usually ends in all of you leaning over them eagerly, trying to figure out when he took them
Rhys standing in the kitchen, grinning over his shoulder like Cassian just made a bad joke
you and Feyre, laughing so hard you lean into each other
Mor, lying upside down on the couch while focusing on the cards in her hand while you're next to her, mid-motion, a focused expression on your face
Cassian napping on the couch, twisted in a very uncomfortable position to fit all six feet something of him onto the cushions
there seems to be an endless number, and they're all carefully stored away in his shelves
some, he refuses to show to anyone
it takes you so little time to feel at home in the huge flat, the prospect of looking for an apartment for yourself is off the table before you can actually start
and it doesn't take long until you're part of the routines like you'd been there since the beginning
Saturday and Sunday evenings are for movie nights
sometimes, Mor joins you
you sit with Azriel on the couch, sharing a big bowl of popcorn while staring at Rhys and Cassian argue about which Star Wars movie to start with
in the summer, you take trips to the lake for swims
have game nights
and evenings sitting on the balcony, squinting into the setting sun
barbecues
afternoons in the park, one joining in after the other
in winter, you go to the ice rink
bake together
and spend whole weekends on the couch, watching movies
you go to the gym with Cassian or accompany him on his runs
(well, he's running - you're on your bicycle, because there's no way you can keep up with that dude´s long legs)
get dragged out onto hikes by Rhys
in the evenings, you usually all end up in the kitchen for dinner, banter thrown over the dinner table
Azriel and you mostly take care of the grocery shopping together
it usually entails you trying to reach something on a high shelf and Azriel huffing, moving to grab it without even having to stretch
sometimes Cassian joins in, and you both make it your mission to annoy Azriel until he laughs
both Az and Rhys regularly give you rides on their motorcycles
while Cassian likes to stick to his old, beat up truck, Rhys has a car as well, but alternates between it and the motorcycle
more often than not, he uses it as opportunity to flirt
small cleaning duties in the apartment are rotated between the four of you
but big-once-a-month-deep-cleans are something you make a day of
blasting music, you divide the flat and get to work
(bathroom duty is rotated)
in the (very rare) case of an argument, it usually ends in one of you being mediator
which means after a cooling off period
the arguing parties are locked in the pantry until they've talked things out
works surprisingly well
sometimes, the boys bring someone home
it usually comes with a text
or the very oldschool sock on the door
tho you ban that one after Cassian forgets it
and you walk into the flat unsuspectingly only to be flashed
Cassian apologizes profoundly
after he's done laughing
there are also a few awkward encounters in the hall in the morning that leave you contemplating not running around in just big t-shirts
Feyre still gives you rides to campus and back
but sometimes, it's Azriel waiting in the parking lot instead, leaned against his motorcycle, two helmets next to him
it does not help with the way your heart seems to speed up whenever you find his amber eyes on you.
but you're very adamant on pushing that away
it's probably not that serious anyway.
so
it would be wrong to say your life was boring before you met the three idiots you now call your roomates
but it sure as hell is a lot better now that you have
even if they do drive you a little nuts sometimes
@azrielshadows1nger @waytoomanyteenagefeels
1K notes · View notes
yestrnight · 11 months
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ POCKET SLIME ! part two
FROM : cyno, tighnari / slime! gn! reader
SUBJECT :  after fucking the brains out of your masters, cyno and tighnari senses that’s something amiss. they suspect foul play and it has something to do with the cute stranger following them around. little do they know that you’re just a cute, innocent slime– well, as cute as you can be when you’re breaking them in.
LINK : (1) kavetham
( back with the monster doujin agenda bitches; dubcon; throat fucking (tighnari); multiple tongues (tighnari); prostate teasing (nari); i might have a thing for prostates idk; smut is making me discover myself; tentacles; knotting; my inexperience bleeds thru my writing; ahegao; mindbreak )
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when the gang meet up for another one of their friendly tavern meetings (usually forced into a genius invokation showdown by cyno), tighnari and cyno senses something off about their seniors. for one, kaveh doesn’t immediately jump on the opportunity to send a disdainful comment at alhaitham’s way, nor does the scribe make the effort to make a snide remark about kaveh’s drinking. instead, they make eye contact, blush, and avert their eyes.
cyno and tighnari raise their eyebrows at each other. “maybe they finally resolved the underlying sexual tension,” cyno suggests, to which tighnari gives him a hard nudge on his side. the mahamatra hides his snigger under his cards, but behind them he narrows his eyes to observe his seniors a bit more.
the conversation with them is stilted— the two roommates are distracted and dazed, and they have to snap them out of it every minute or so just to bring them back to the topic at hand. sometimes they whisper to each other, uncharacteristically forgetting about tighnari's hypersensitive ears, but thanks to that he hears some interesting things. 
"where are they?" alhaitham hisses to kaveh, to which the blonde looks frantic and confused.
"i don't know!" he whispers back, albeit more worried than his counterpart. "what if they got lost? or attacked? ah… maybe i should pick them up. this is all your fault!" 
"my fault for training them to fit into human society? please," haitham scoffs. "if they're gonna live in my house then i expect them to—” suddenly, the tavern doors slowly creak open, and a shy head pops out to survey the room. the duo immediately snap their heads to look, and the newcomer brightens up when they lay their eyes on them. 
cyno and tighnari watch as they rush towards the two and engulf them in a hug, nearly knocking them from their chairs. their speech is incomprehensible to them, like gurgles, but it seems that kaveh and alhaitham understand it enough to hold a fretted conversation with them. kaveh is fussing over them, checking their body for any injuries, while alhaitham demands a full report on their day.
“went to the market, like masters told me to!” the newcomer beams up at them. they hold up the bag they were carrying, full of groceries, and kaveh coos and brings them in for a tight hug.
“oh you poor, poor thing!” kaveh bemoans, tearing up at your innocent smile before shooting haitham a sharp glare. “i cannot believe you sent them out like that without telling me! you know they don’t know anything yet!”
haitham is about to retort, before cut off by the stares of their two juniors. “uh, excuse me,” cyno speaks up, staring blankly at the obviously non-human entity in front of him. “is that your child?”
haitham and kaveh choke. you smile even brighter.
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✧.*  TIGHNARI
TIGHNARI whose gift of being hypersensitive to everything lets him know what exactly type of creature you are when you walk through the tavern doors. it should be obvious, with how your body jiggles and the muffled squelching from your sandaled feet. the baggy clothes do well to hide most of your body, but TIGHNARI is one of the best researchers, and there’s no use hiding anything from him.
you’re a slime, but one that he hasn’t seen before. haitham detects TIGHNARI’s curious gaze and clears his throat. he explains how kaveh picked you up and how you revealed your ability to shift into a humanoid form (though he leaves out the filthy details for his dignity’s sake), and makes a request: that TIGHNARI look after you. there are many things that they don’t know about you and your special condition, and who better to trust this topic of research to than amurta’s leading researcher? haitham expresses that it’d be nice if they could take their hands off you for a while, and when TIGHNARI asks why, the pair averts their gaze and mumbles something about you being too distracting.
TIGHNARI who brings you to ghandarva ville and starts inspecting you. you let out a bubbly laugh every time he pokes and prods you, and even a few surprised squeaks when he touches the more sensitive spots. he observes how you vocalize and how your jelly constitution contributes to how warbly your speech sounds. you are made out of elemental energy, just like how normal slimes are, and yet he can’t grasp on how the hell you’re like this. some sort of experiment maybe?
whatever you are, TIGHNARI deems you useful enough to help around the village for your stay. he can’t have you revealing your identity to the villagers just yet, so you’re usually cooped up inside his home. the extra limbs you can make is useful, and you serve as a good cushion whenever collei drops something. he does feel bad for imprisoning you somewhat, so he makes a point to return to you as soon as possible. when he comes back, he can usually find you in your round slime form moping on his bed, only to quickly revert to your humanoid form when he walks through the door. un(?)fortunately, shifting shapes doesn’t exactly give you any clothes, so whenever you leap on him to welcome him back, he usually gets a faceful of chest.
TIGHNARI who one day comes home more tired than usual, stressed out by a group of stupid adventurers who angered a pack of rishboland tigers. he wants nothing more than to sleep, and apparently you can sense that, with how you slowly approach him. his tired eyes note how worried you look and he puts that info aside for later. “tired?” you cock your head, observing his slumped shoulders and drooping eyes. “i can help! have helped masters kaveh ‘n haitham before!” he thinks you’re offering a massage, because what else could you be offering? so he nods and lies down for you to do your work.
TIGHNARI who absolutely does not expect a cold tendril to snake under his clothes, and he yelps when he feels your weight on top of him. you’re smiling down at him with your usual innocent, brain empty one, but he feels something darker in your gaze. you giggle when more tendrils come out of your back, and they carefully peel off his clothes (your masters have scolded you over and over again about melting their clothes) . “wh– [your name]!” TIGHNARI sounds panicked as you strip him, and tries to cover himself up as he blushes under your intense gaze. “this is nowhere near appropriate! stop this at once– ah!”
you peel off one hand off his chest and admire his lean muscles. he shivers when he feels your cold fingers lightly circle his hardening nipples before they trail down his sides until you firmly plant your hands at his waist. he tries to squirm out of your grip, trying to deny the heavy haze settling over his mind, but you only lightly laugh while you saddle him. “been very long~” you purr, nuzzling his face and pouting up at him. “haven’t fed from masters in a long time. nari will give me food, yeah?” 
“f-food?” he lightly gasps in between your stroking. “i-if you want food, you could just ask meEE~! a-ah, stop that, y-you…!” too late, though. you’re licking and kissing all over his face, body grinding over his crotch as you shower him with your way of love. you grab his face with both hands to properly face you, and you eagerly devour his lips. your tongue parts his lips for you to dive in deeper, and TIGHNARI, giving in to the temptation, leans in towards the kiss.
you smile at this and press even deeper, your tongue wrapping his and stroking it up and down like it was cock. he should be ashamed at this filthy display, but he was too lost in the pleasure as he wraps his hands around you and brought you even closer. something sprouts from the back of your mouth– more tendrils– and his eyes widen when they join the single one in his mouth. more of them explore his mouth, obscene squelching noise reverberating in his head, and two even coil together to fuck his throat deep. the stimulation makes his toes curl and his fingers dig into your jelly mass till they’re sunk in deep. 
when you finally pull away, TIGHNARI choking as the tendrils slither out of his throat, he looks up at you. you smile at your work– fluttering and hazy eyes, tongue out, heavy panting, and a deep blush. “wh-what was that…? what did you…?”
 giggling at his curiosity, you open your mouth. “beh~” a multitude of tendrils squirm in your mouth, in place of where a human tongue should be. “master kaveh likes this very much! he trained me to do it~! and now, nari loves them too, yes?” he blushes harder, but he can’t find it in himself to deny it. ‘kaveh, you filthy degenerate…’ TIGHNARI makes a mental note to give him a good talking to later.
he finds himself staring at your tongues, rubbing his legs together as he remembers the pure ecstasy of fitting them all inside his mouth, and gulps. he's a respected amurta researcher, leader of the forest rangers… he shouldn't be lowering himself to such acts. but… but! TIGHNARI whimpers as he tries to soothe the fire inside him, his ears flattening. they felt so good… and well, this does count as research, right?
"[your name]..." he softly calls out, shyly taking his pants off as he stares at you hungrily. "p-please… i'll feed you even more, okay?" he can't believe what he's doing right now, but he slowly spreads his tiny asshole and looks at you pleadingly. "do it to me more, please ♡ ?"
soon, TIGHNARI finds his legs stretched up to his head, and the mischievous grin you give him as you eye his pink hole. there's something so deliciously depraved about this position and how it leaves him vulnerable to your attacks, and he can only watch through fingers as he hides his face. he watches as you lean in and lick his hole a few times, wetting and teasing it altogether, and gasps everytime your tongue passes over it. when he grinds into your mouth hoping you’ll do something… more, you laugh at him before finally fucking him with your tongues.
TIGHNARI who has his back arched beautifully, gasping and moaning as he stares wide-eyed at the ceiling. “ah~can’t b-believe this feels so– ah!-- so gooood~♡” the feeling of two tongues coiled around each other, thrusting in and out of his ass like another form of cock, has him seeing stars. perhaps it’s his animal instincts, but he quickly gets hooked on the feeling, and he grinds his ass in time to the thrusting of your tongues. “oooh, ngh, deeperrr~ go even deeper~♡” he grabs your jelly hair and starts moving your head back and forth, using you like a dildo so he can satisfy himself.
he knows you can go deeper, that you have the ability to shove your tongue so deep you’ll form a new womb. but you don’t, and he knows it’s on purpose by the mischievous glint in your eyes. “ooh ♡ wh-what are you doing…?” he sobs, thrusting your head harder as he tries to make you hit his prostate. “it’s not enough, not enough! make me cum, make me cum pleaseee!” but you’re always just an inch too short, barely grazing over the bundle of nerves but never truly touching. TIGHNARI hiccups as he grows even more frustrated.
you slip out of his grasp, as fluid as the slime that you are, and smile innocently at him. “nnoooo can dooo~” slowly, you finally align your cock at his hole, the tip nudging against the hungry little thing. “can’t have nari cum yet~ studied so much for him~” 
“s- study…?” only when he finally takes a peek at your cock, does he understand the meaning behind your words. a fat pair of balls, and a large, throbbing cock with a knot at its base. ah, you naughty little slime… you must have been reading his animal biology books while he was away, weren’t you? he doubts you understood anything from his complicated textbooks, but no doubt you used the images for reference.
he swipes a tongue on his lower lip, and uses his hands to present you his needy hole. ah~ he can’t help it at all~ he’s a man, a male fox hybrid… so why are the instincts of a vixen overcoming him? his mindless heart eyes stare hungrily at your cock, and pushes against the tip in hopes that you finally get to fuck him.
NARI who doesn’t think anything but your cock and your cock alone, who’s presenting himself like a bitch in heat. through his tears of frustration, he sobs for you to finally set him free from this agonizing torture. “[your name]~” he whines, like the debauched bitch that he is. “breed me, breed me pleaseeee ♡”
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✧.* CYNO
CYNO who feels the same feeling of oddness from tighnari as he did from haitham and kaveh. when he goes to visit you and his friend, he can see the blush on the fox hybrid’s face whenever you’re brought up. he averts his eyes and fiddles with his fingers, looking away from him in an attempt to hide his growing blush. it’s exactly how guilt criminals act like, and his interest only piques.
when tighnari leaves for a patrol, CYNO enters his home to take a look at you. he doesn’t know what exactly tighnari has done with you, but it must be something bad to get the ever-collected researcher to act this distracted. he sees you in the normal slime form, that round squishy ball of cuteness, and a small surprised squeak from you when you see him has you morphing into a human form. a sound of surprise escapes him when you morph– naked body and all– and when you hug him, literally melting into him, he freezes. now he understands tighnari’s reaction.
CYNO who has you kneeling down the floor and is about to lecture you on the importance of clothes until you pout up at him, and he can’t help falling for that cuteness. “thought cy came to play with me?” an arrow struck his conscience. “why is cy so mad with me…?” another arrow struck his conscience. he doesn’t really have the heart to make you suffer through a lecture when you’re just a slime who barely knows the ways of humans. he sighs, a palm to his head, and decides to just observe you for now.
ecstatic to be closer to your masters’ and nari’s friend, you quickly show him around tighnari’s house. it’s something that CYNO has seen a thousand times before, but there are some added furniture for you. there’s a hammock by the window for you to sleep on (you add that nari is too shy to sleep with you, much to the general’s added interest), plants that serve as your snacks that nari cultivated to have elemental energy, and you pull out some of tighnari’s textbooks that you say you read in your spare time. judging by the way you keep pointing at the illustrations, there’s no doubt you can read a single letter of human language. but you’re cute when you happily describe the pictures anyway, so CYNO smiles fondly.
“here!” you flip to a page on animal biology and point to a jackal, then points at the headpiece that CYNO put away by the door. “reminds me of you!” he hums, scootching to you closer to get a better look. you don’t have any heat like how a human should, nor do you have the temperature of a pyro or cryo slime. dendro and geo slimes have this earthy scent to them while you’re scentless, you don’t zap him like how an electro slime does, and you’re clearly not anemo since you’re made out of some liquid. he should check on nari’s research on you later.
“and this!” you flip to another page, and CYNO suddenly starts choking on his spit. a picture of two jackals mating takes up a quarter of the page, and he hurriedly closes the book. he can’t have an innocent thing like you looking at such things! when he looks at you to warn you about these kinds of things, he’s greeted by your lusty leer as you press your noses together. “... they remind me of you too, cy~no~♡”
CYNO who you quickly consume with your smile, the lower half of his body completely seated in your jelly body, while the upper half leans on your chest as a cushion. you give him no time to struggle as you wrap your arms around his lean chest and lean in to lick his ear. he shudders at the new sensation, gasping as your tongue pokes and prods just at the hole. he’s clinging to your hand as you tease and blow his ear, and you giggle when a particular puff of air sends him shuddering in your touch.
“cyno~” you hum, one hand to trail down and twist his nipple. he moans at the sudden pain, and you take it as a sign to continue further. you pinch and tug at his cute brown areolas, giggling when his jaw slacks as he continues to moan and drool. “cyno is very cute~ like masters haitham and kaveh~ and nari-nari too~♡”
it should come as a shame to him, for the general mahamatra to succumb to such pleasures and be downgraded with a label like ‘cute.’ but he finds himself only nuzzling into your hand when you cup his cheeks, and moaning when you press a sloppy kiss to his cheeks. “gh~♡ i… i don’t understand this feeling~” he pants into your mouth, looking at you with a lust half-lidded gaze. “‘s all too– a-ahh… ♡– too muchhh~” 
“hmm… cyno’s never had sex before?” his inital judgment was wrong— you were nowhere near innocent. “that’s okay~! i can teach cyno sex like the maker taught me!” giggling, you tighten the mass around CYNO’s cock and watch as he gasps and sinks even deeper into your chest. “first, you go shhlick!” CYNO gasps when he feels multiple tendrils slowly enter his ass, slowly thrusting in and out to accomodate the slowly growing length inside him.
“h-huh?” while the slime inside him slowly expands, CYNO’s eyes widen when he sees a little bump on his stomach, and he hurriedly puts his palm on it as if to push it down. “wh-what’s going on? why… why is my stomach like… like that?”
you giggle at his confusion and panic, pressing a sweet kiss on his ear to which he shudders at. “cy-cy is very innocent, hm?” you gently clasp his shaking hand and slowly caress the little bump. “that is my cock inside you! and soon…~” you thrust up, eliciting a girly yelp from the white-haired man. “soon, my baby will be there too!”
before he can even question your words, your slimy length starts pounding him up and down. each thrust his prostate, and CYNO can barely process his feelings right now as you continue driving the slime deep into his ass. his legs shake while sunk deep into your slime, and through the translucent [color] mass he can see his hard cock leaking pre-cum. “o-ooh~♡ f-feels so goood ♡” his shaky moans is almost lost in the indecent wet slapping of your sex, and his eyes roll backwards when you squeeze the jelly around his cock. “ahhh~ah, ah, ah fuu~ck ♡ ooh, yeah, fuck me deeper into my hole pleeasseeee– thank you thankyouthankyouthankyouuuu ♡♡”
soon, you press CYNO onto his chest, your slime body beneath him accommodating his nipples by creating suction holes that suckle on them nonstop. his sweaty back faces you, and in the back of his mind, he’s thankful enough that you don’t have to see the absolutely fucked-out look he’s been wearing this entire time.
“cyno is very good at sex~” you hum, lovingly stroking his hair while you continue thrust into him like a beast. “you can cum into me, then you’ll be just like my masters and the others~♡”
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✧.* IT’S A THREESOME!
you lean back on TIGHNARI’s chair, enjoying the show before you. two tentacles drive themselves deep into CYNO’s ass, leaving him no room to breath as they fuck a bump into his belly. sobbing at the overstimulation and sapped out of energy after being fucked for over an hour, his hands grip tighnari’s own as he incomprehensibly cries out pleas of mercy.
his friend, on the other hand, is a bit more energetic. tighnari grinds against the breeding cock fucking into him, a wide and satiated smile distorting his usually calm features. his rhythm is downright animalistic, and his eyes are only fixated on your knotted dick as he watches it slide in and out of his wet hole. he’s drooling, eyes empty with nothing but sexsexsex behind them, so in love with you and the pleasures you offer that they’ve morphed into hearts.
“p-please… breed me more, please ♡” nari can feel the knot slapping against his ass, and cyno watches in shame as his best friend sobs trying to shove the entire thing in. “kn-knot me, please ♡ fill me with pups… your pups ♡! [y-your name] i’m begging youuuu ♡”
“n-nari…” cyno whimpers, holding the fox’s hands tighter. “can’t– ooh ♡– can’t think anymore…”
you giggle behind them, suspending them midair as you and your limbs pull them closer to you. “you don’t have to think anymore cy-cy ♡” you hum, stroking his chin before kissing him deep. both of you can feel tighnari’s hungry stare as you and cyno share a sloppy kiss, and you soothe his growing jealousy by shifting your attention and kissing him too. while cyno sits by dazed, nari eagerly laps up all the slimes you have to offer, taking them in like a man in a desert. “no one has to think at all ♡”
they can feel your cocks pulsing inside them, evident in the way they begin to pound themselves on your lengths. while cyno struggles to take your squirming tentacles to their base, tighnari’s broken laughter fills the air as he readies himself to take in that breeding knot. soon enough, hot and viscous slime erupt inside them, and their bodies arch in a silent scream as they feel you giving them more than they could take. 
the general goes slack in your hold, body twitching and spasming as the tentacles spurt more wave after wave of sweet nectar inside him. tighnari releases a moan of relief as you force the knot all the way in, and when you pull, he squeaks as he gets pulled alongside your cock. he gives you a pouty glare whilst his partner stares slack-jawed at the ceiling.
ah~ if only your creator could see you right now, fulfilling the very reason you were born to do. you wonder if he’ll be very proud of you, to have the four of the finest men in sumeru succumb to your temptations. he had always told you that you were less slime and more of a demon, anyway. you don’t exactly know what a ‘demon’ is, but judging by the happy and satisfied looks on your friends’ faces, you’re sure that it’s something that makes humans verryyy happy, right ♡ ? 
1K notes · View notes
slvthrs · 11 months
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I'M SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH YOU Y'KNOW | vinnie hacker
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--- MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD ---
your boyfriend loves the way the hot weather makes you look
VINNIE HACKER X FEM!READER
WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, praise kink, pet names, fingering, unprotected sex (use birth control idiots), hair pulling, slight vouyerism
word count: 1k <3
California is so fucking hot sometimes. The way that shirts stick to skin and the way that when you would walk out of the house and immediately be hit with a wave of heat that absolutely envelopes you. You really wanna move sometimes but you never would unless your boyfriend came with you. Your 5 foot 11, sandy beach blond with freckles and brown eyes, the archetype of someone from California- Vinnie.
From where you live the crashing of the beach waves helps to lull you to sleep in the night and sounds of beachgoers is your alarm clock and as much as you love living here, the heat will always get to you- it’s uncomfortable and suffocating. You’re a person who likes the cold and your boyfriend is exactly the opposite- he’s warm and sweet and kind of like a loyal dog. 
So that’s the reason why you’re currently laying back down in the shortest skirt you could find and a tiny crop top with no bra, sucking on this popsicle like it’s your last meal in the world. 
You let your head dangle off the edge of the counter with your body fully on display for no one. You should be a lot more careful with your boyfriend's roommate walking the halls but he’s seen me in more compromising positions. The sound of the neighborhood is bouncing off the walls of the kitchen and you can hear a soft pair of footsteps coming down from the house's gym. 
And speak of the devil and he may appear- your boyfriend walks into the kitchen to grab some water and so you can shamelessly check him out. He’s just wearing his sweatpants which rest dangerously low on his waist and he is slightly wet and a towel is thrown over his shoulder- which you presume is for wiping up but what catches your attention is the way his hands flex and how big they are compared to yours- It’s like he could drown you in his hands and you would never complain.
But you compose yourself, “Hi babe how was the work out?” you say stretching yourself out more so he can see me even better
He looks startled, “Shit I didn’t realize you were here” He says as he turns to look at me and the moment your eyes meet, you both know that you both want each other,
“Uh it went well, I like the outfit” He says taking a swig of his water
“Thanks” I say with the most innocent expression you can muster and you sit up to look at him doe-eyed “I like your fit as well” You chuckled referencing to how little he's wearing
“Ha ha very funny I work out in this, what is your excuse for looking like that?” He says with fake annoyance
“One, it’s fucking boiling in Cali and two, what do you mean ‘looking like that’” You say  emphasising the ‘that’
He groans, “You just, I dunno, look hot” He admits
“Well yeah it’s like 90 degrees outside” You joke
“You fucking know I didn’t mean that” He says walking closer to me and placing the water bottle away and placing both his hands on either sides of me- caging me in
I finish your popsicle and hook your hands around his neck playing with the wooden stick of the popsicle, “Hmm, I don’t think I know what you mean?” You say faking your innocence
“Oh yeah you wanna play it like that? Fine we can do it like that” He states as he crashes your lips together, you both taste like sweat, ice, and cherry popsicle along with pent up aggression of not having even seen each other in days due to your contrasting schedule. 
He lifts his hands to the hem of your shirt to take it of revealing your braless state, and looks at you in a state of awe, “God your such a fucking whore and you love to pretend your innocent,” He says as he starts to kiss your chest and starts to trail down and before he reaches your skirt he flips me over so your stomach is pressed up against the counter, “It kinda pisses me off but mainly turns me on.”
The chill of the counter makes you almost moan from how hot you are. He flips up your skirt and pulls your panties aside to lean up his cock with your clothed cunt and slams into you, gaining a completely pornographic moan that puts Satan to shame. 
His hands take refuge on your waist as he sets an unrelenting pace tumbling you so close to your climax. One of his hands finds your clit as he circles and teases it making you almost cry of complete pleasure but he stops as the same hand finds your hair and pulls it back so our eyes connect.
Instead of finding a sort of ravaged animalistic look on Vinnie’s face he looks at me in awe as if you look like the world's finest art and dips his head down to your spine and kisses upward and leaves marks all over your neck as he leans into your ears and whispers, 
“I’m fucking obsessed with you y’know”
And the words of praise cause everything to come crashing down- as you cum he lets go of his grip on your hair and it’s replaced with slight kisses on your back that trails down and he soothes you out of your orgasm.
With a few more thrusts he’s following you and then he pulls out of me but his grip on you stays because you both know that if he lets go you might just collapse. 
You stay there just for a bit, “Let’s go before Jett finds us sweetheart.” He says as he’s picking you up and carries you bridal style to your shared bedroom and he draws you into a bath.
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reiding-writing · 22 days
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congrats on 1000 followers!! I love your fics sm <333
could I request early seasons!spencer x bau!reader with prompts 12&19 from the general dialogue list?
maybe some inexperienced!reader and fluff??
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A MUTUAL SECRET [CLIMACTERIC]
12. “You can’t tell anyone. Seriously. Even them.”
19. “I think about you all the time.”
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WARNINGS: N/A
s1!spencer reid x gn!reader || fluff || 1.0k || climacteric event!!
a/n: tyy <333 this was so cute to write man 😭
main masterlist!! ⋆。°✩ event masterlist!!
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Oh to think that you’d managed to worm your way into a relationship with Spencer Reid.
More like he’d wormed himself into a relationship with you.
First it was him making an extra coffee and sitting it on your desk. Then it was waiting for you before leaving the office so you could get the metro together. Then it was inviting you over for movie nights and getting tickets for the philharmonic orchestra.
And then all of a sudden you were going out for dinner and he’d bought you flowers and then you were kissing under your porch canopy.
It was a lot.
It was the first real relationship you’d ever had. The first serious relationship. A relationship that involved full transparency and trust and vulnerability that you’d never shared with somebody before.
“Can we uh, talk for a second?” You dump your go-bag on your hotel bed, watching as he does the same for his own. You’d managed to pair up pretty inconspicuously, the hotels were usually doubled up for simplicity reasons, and you and Spencer being so close even before you got together allowed you to snatch him as your roommate with no suspicion from any of your teammates.
“Yeah, are- are you alright?” Spencer furrows his eyebrows in concern, walking around his bed towards yours, rubbing his hand deftly over your left bicep. “Is something wrong?”
“No no it’s nothing like that,” You shake your head quickly, bringing up your right hand to rest on the curve of his neck. “I just wanted to speak about something with you,”
“Okay…” He gives you a small nod, offering no resistance as you guide him to sit on the edge of the bed with you, your hands sliding down his arms to hold his.
“So,” You give his hands a soft squeeze as you start, trying to shatter the growing anxiety in his irises before it can wash over his entire face. “I really like you Spencer, and these last few months have arguably been the best of my life, even with all the crazy shit we go through at work,”
You laugh toward the end of your sentence, and it’s contagious enough for a smile to break out onto his face as well, but that small well of anxiousness still lingered behind his gaze, anticipating the turn of the conversation. “But..?”
“But nothing,” You let go of one of his hands to cup the side of his face, your thumb rubbing over his cheek. “I look forward to where this relationship is headed,”
“Okay- uh- me too…” He nods slowly against your palm, bringing his hand up to cover your own. “So, what is this about then..?”
“I know we’re profilers, and no one really listens to the ‘don’t profile your team’ rule, but uh, I’m not sure that I’m ready to them that were… together yet,”
“Oh- right yeah- that’s- that’s it? That’s all?” You can see his eyes visibly relax at your confession, like he’s physically relived it’s not something worse.
“You’re not- upset? Angry?”
“Why would I be?” He turns his head further into your hand. “Our relationship is about me and you, not the team,” He laughs softly against your palm, one that you reciprocate with a soft smile.
“Good- good okay…” You laugh softly with a short nod. “I’ve been uh thinking about how to bring it up to you, a lot, I think about you a lot in general though, like most of the time actually—”
“I think about you all the time,” Spencer’s confession cuts off your own, and you both stare at each other blankly for a few seconds before bursting into a shared fit of quiet giggles.
It was like the two of you were a pair of teenagers in your first ever relationship. To be fair it was your first ever relationship. For the both of you.
“Seriously though—” Once your giggles subsided you tugged him closer to you, resting your foreheads together. “You can’t tell anyone, seriously, even them okay? Not until we’ve got this properly figured out,”
“Sounds good to me,” he nods against you gently, bumping your noses together. “I still get to keep you either way,”
“I’m all yours Doc,” You link your arms around his neck, leaning forward like you’re going in for a kiss and swerving at the last second to bury your head into his shoulder and pull him down until you’re both laying flat across the mattress of your twin-sized hotel bed.
“I think this bed is a little small to support the both of us-” Spencer laughs as he turns onto his side, anchoring his hand over your waist. “why don’t we—”
“—push them together?”
“Push them together?”
The two of you sound like synched metronomes with how perfectly you match suggestions, and it’s enough to send you both into another fit of giggles as you nod enthusiastically at your shared idea.
“Okay, you get this one and i’ll get the other one,” Spencer sits up with pointed fingers as he lays out your plan, and the giggling for continues right up until you’re both tucked up under the sheets like two desperately in love peas in a pod.
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st4rd0lly · 2 months
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𝐁𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄
cw : AFAB reader , dom nikolai , restraints , roommates no ability AU , brat taming ? , reader is a brat, MDNI 
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“F-fuck ! Slow down!” You tried whining out to the clown who had you pinned down, your wrists behind your back with his hand pressing them down. Nikolai, was your roommate, unfortunately you like to say. His eccentric and charismatic personality and his knack for messing around with people didn’t go all too well with you. Bickering was a common occurrence and sometimes play fights, which was what was supposed to be happening now. But…
“Slow down? Dovey I’m not even in you yet and you’re already asking me to slow down.” He cooed in your ear, his grip only growing tighter. You could practically hear the grin in his voice, his braid brushing against your shoulder. 
“Oh well shut up and then fuck me why don’t you?” You gritted out, meaning it as a joke really. But you’d be lying if you said your eyes didn’t trail down to his bulge occasionally during your time with him, or how your eyes would also just gaze at his nice figure, especially his thighs. And you’d most certainly would be lying if you said you didn’t like to hear him fuck himself stupid with god knows what in his room, you’d never admit it and you were sure he did it on purpose.
Now the slick between your thighs was getting uncomfortable. You tried wiggling, but he was pressing down so much that it only made you press your ass against his dick and fuck. It felt heavy. 
“Now what are we doing huh sweetheart? You really mean it?” He asked, cackling and rubbing himself against you. “Such a freak you are.”
“Please. That’s rich coming from you, you’re the fucking freak.” You retorted, looking back at him while your cheek was against the bed. 
“Yeah? And you want this freak to fuck you huh?” He taunted, the smug look on his face was obvious and you could feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment and arousal. “You are a bratty little thing hm? You talk big for someone who looks so small right now, I bet you’re soaking wet.”
“Why don’t you find out then? W-wait—“ You questioned, before he lets go of your wrists and flips you onto your back, kissing you unexpectedly as he does. Letting out a surprised moan, his presence was so obvious. It nearly made you unaware of how he had brought your wrists up and tied it with the nearby scarf you had tossed on your bed earlier. His hands now trailed down to your hips, his lips pulling apart from yours to bite at your neck. He pulled your shorts down along with your lace panties roughly, you almost shuddered from your skin being exposed to the cold air despite it feeling hot in the room at the moment.
His fingers dipped between your legs, your slick coating his fingers as he rubbed at your clit before sinking slightly into your hole. You jolted, biting your lip to hold back a whimper. “See, soaking wet. There’s no reason to hold anything back now.” He chuckled, biting into your neck eliciting a sharp moan from you. “I mean it doesn’t matter anyways, I’ll be making a mess out of you soon.” He said, pulling back and licking your taste off of his fingers, looking directly at you. He moaned at the taste, his tongue making a long stripe before he let out a small giggle. He happiy took off his shirt and tugged down his grey sweats with his boxers. 
“Holy shit.” You whispered, making him laugh. You were convinced there was no way his dick was going to fit in you, not when he was that thick and long. He rubbed it against your pussy, both of you groaning at the feeling. 
“Dim your thoughts pretty thing. Just hold still and I’ll make it fit. Won’t be a brat anymore if you’re too full right?” He grinned, his tip slipping inside. 
“There we fucking go… be good okay dovey?”
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dividers : @/cafekitsune
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mxdnightlvers · 2 years
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𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𓆩♡𓆪
➸ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Pervy/nsfw things Genshin men do as your roommate
➸𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Alhaitham, Diluc, Childe
➸ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: The men are basically like perverts, Voyeurism, stealing panties, reader fucking oblivious asf, but sorta doesn't mind it happening, this entire thing is filth especially Childe's part
➸ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬/𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫: Afab reader + Gender Neutral Pronouns
➸ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: And they were roommates. Anyways I’m so embarrassed about this but 😻I couldn’t help myself also I wrote this when I was literally falling asleep on myself
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𝐀𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 ❦
You’re so oblivious to his actions. The way he watches you, or how he stands a little too close to you, and the way he slowly finds out everything about you. It’s simply him being a good friend right? After all, as deceiving as he can be, he wouldn’t mind showing you a more honest side of him. However, that doesn’t mean he’ll be completely transparent, not about his feelings for you and definitely the things he does when you’re not looking. How can he know everything about you without looking through your things? Going so far as to simply ask you to borrow something and you just let him enter your room without a second thought in the world. Oh but he didn’t need to borrow anything, how could he possibly resist snooping when you brought home a shopping bag full of treats that morning that you laid out so nicely on your bed for him? Filled with clothes that he simply can’t wait to see you in. A new lace set? For who do you plan on wearing such a beautiful set? He can't help but imagine how pretty you'd look in it when you're sat on his cock as he fucks you silly. He folds them back nicely in the bag- that you don't even suspect a thing! Leaving your room before he grabs the item he supposedly needed to ‘borrow’. Or when he’s helping you in your room, whether it be work or studies, he’ll make a mental note of where things are. That vibrator you keep under your pillow? What would you do if he somehow misplaced his pen under your pillow? Oh, but what’s this? It’s not there anymore. His eyes flutter to the lower drawer next to your bedside where you hide all your toys, where you must’ve placed the vibrator. How cute of you to move it from the bed. Were you afraid he’d see and get embarrassed? Little did you know that he’s seen a lot more than that. <3
𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜 ❦
He just can’t keep his eyes off you! Watching your hands hold your drink and bring it to your lips, or the way you curl up in a blanket on the couch and watch a movie. Observing the way you prop your head up on your hand when he’s talking to you as you listen intently. Oh how his eyes fall to the way that dress fits you so well. You think nothing of it as his eyes always seem to avert their attention, maybe he’s just a bit awkward in conversations? You never suspected that it was intentional. The way his eyes flicker to your boobs, or to your thighs when you cross your legs, it was simply an accident, right? It could be an accident but not when he has you lean a little further on the table so he can show you something on his phone, book- whatever it may be. He’d make you follow along with his fingers, making you oblivious to the way he watches your dress fall slightly forward, noticing the lace of your bra that was peaking out. He’s a bit embarrassed at himself for doing such actions but he simply can’t help himself when he’s so enamored by everything about you. So, he’ll find himself placing things where you normally won’t be able to reach, all so you can call him and he can see you on your tip toes trying your best to reach the item. Biting his tongue trying not to tease you about that pouty look you have, calmly reaching for your desired item and placing it gently in your hands. But oh no! You somehow bumped into him and dropped it! Giving him a pretty view of your ass when you bend over, just making him wish he was pounding his cock into you from behind. He’d never show any hints though, he’s so caring and kind towards you how can he ever reveal his thoughts to you? You’re so sweet and deserve the entire world he couldn’t possibly admit such desires, but he simply can’t help but sneak a few looks at the way the dress hugs your body so tightly. <3
𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞❦
Laundry is probably one of his favorite chores. Thinking of all the pretty things he’d find. Your underwear laid out so unprotected for him, all because you trust him. He simply insisted on helping you with chores so you thought nothing of it when he chose to do the laundry. So now you have all your clothes just there for the taking. Oh whatever would you if he stole a few panties to jerk off with? You wouldn’t mind, right? After all, he’d much rather have his cum inside you but he has to settle for your panties so surely you can’t blame him. He’s so sure you’d probably like it as he sorts through your laundry. Your clothes that week have been so revealing that he curses himself for missing some of your outfits. He picks out two panties he really likes and stuffs them into his pocket. Immediately going to his room to pull out his already hardened cock. The thought of cumming and staining your underwear without you knowing just gets him going! The soft cotton is draped over his cock as he jerks himself off, the other on his face as thoughts of you flood his mind. He’d be spilling his cum inside your panties once more. When he sees how much of a mess he’s made, he contemplates just returning it back to you soaked but, with what little decency he has left, he throws it in with the second batch of laundry. That doesn’t mean he won’t keep a few though. It’s not like every day is laundry day, he needs to get himself off during the week! Whether he keeps the already cum soaked panties or gets new ones, he always has at least one stashed away. You don’t suspect a thing, you simply think it got misplaced. After all who doesn’t misplace their clothes? However, the way you leave your things so vulnerable, Childe honestly thinks you’re inviting him in. Leaving your door unlocked or coming home late and masturbating with your door slightly open. Seriously are you asking him to ‘accidentally’ walk in on you? Like that one time when he was asleep and you came home late, calling for him loudly. When you didn’t get a quick enough response you just assumed he was asleep and he was- if it wasn’t for you calling for him. Were you so needy that night to go straight to your room and the moment you reached your bed your hands were between your legs? Silly you, you also left the door slightly open so now the once asleep Childe can stumble upon you grinding needily into your hands. Cock growing hard as he watched you discard your clothes, making a mental note on which underwear he was going to steal next. <3
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moonstruckme · 5 months
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And then I have one but idk which marauder to make it for so I’ll let you pick whoever you think it fits better. I have to take medicine for my OCD and anxiety but it’s embarrassing. So I’m like imagining who you pick staying the night with the reader and her skipping her medicine because she’s embarrassed but being off medicine messes you up. So clearly the reader would be alittle down and out of it so her friend asks her if she’s okay and if she took her medicine. Welllllll the marauder hears that and later that night when they are getting ready for bed he simply hands her a glass and asks her to take her medicine please and mentions how he wants all of her that includes the quirks, need for medicine, and need for comfort sometimes too.
I decided to make this part of the Sirius x Remus' roommate saga, hope that's alright! Thanks for requesting sweetheart <3
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5
cw: some symptoms of withdrawal, reader takes prescription meds
modern au
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words
Apparently, even when Sirius gets you out of your flat for the weekend, Remus is still always in the middle of things. 
“I can’t believe you got him to watch New Girl,” Remus complains over speakerphone as you make yourself a cup of tea. Sirius had offered to do it for you, but you’d brushed him off, and he’d been too busy secretly delighting in how comfortable you are in his flat to argue further. “James and I have been trying to get him to watch the first episode for years.” 
“Mmm, you’ve got to start on season three to get people interested, then go back,” you tell him wisely. “I showed him my favorite episode, the one with…uh…”
You trail off, and Sirius looks at you over the top of the couch. There’s a dissatisfied pinch between your brows.
“The one with the spider?” Remus prompts knowingly. 
“Right.” You blink a couple of times, refocusing on your mug as you pour hot water in over the teabag. “That one.” 
“Well, the apartment is quiet without you, but I’m glad you’re having fun.” 
Sirius’ mouth curls as he waits for your response. Though he sometimes still gets jealous of the easy intimacy between you as roommates, he’s come to enjoy the entertainment value of your banter with Remus. The apartment’s just as quiet with me, you’ll say, or You don’t even want to know what kind of fun we’re having. 
But your gaze has gone distant, and after a few seconds, the reply doesn’t seem like it’s going to come. 
Sirius feels worry snake around his ribcage, a light but noticeable pressure. A few hours ago, you’d complained of a headache, and ever since then you’ve seemed in an odd headspace. You’re quieter than you’ve ever been around him, you claimed not to feel like lunch, and he’s caught you stumbling or losing track of your thoughts on more than a couple occaisions. He’d asked once if you’d wanted to go home, but you’d promised you were fine and Sirius didn’t want to push the issue. He loves having you here, he really does, but he hopes it’s nothing about being in his home that’s making you seem so…off. He’d compromised by suggesting you show him that show you’re always referencing (Remus and James were right, it actually is pretty good) in the hopes that a few hours of relaxation would help restore you to yourself, but you don’t seem to be feeling better. 
Even over the phone, Remus picks up on it too. “You alright?” 
“Mm?” You blink. “Oh, yeah.” There’s a forced cheer to your voice, and Sirius watches as you roll your shoulders as if bracing yourself. “I’m just a little tired, I guess.” 
Remus hums, the sound crackling through the speaker. “Did you take your medicine last night?” 
You take him off speaker. Sirius turns when your eyes dart towards where he’s sitting on the couch, taking the coward’s way out on instinct and pretending he wasn’t paying attention. 
“I’m fine,” you say quietly into the phone. Sirius can’t hear Remus well enough anymore to make out his response, but he recognizes the slow, coaxing inflection of his friend’s voice. Your own tone sharpens in contrast, though you sound heartbreakingly exhausted. “I’ve got it. Yep, thanks. See you tomorrow.” 
You blow on your tea as you join Sirius on the couch, not a trace of apprehension about you. He extends his arm invitingly, and you slot underneath it like it’s home. 
“I gather you two aren’t used to time apart,” he teases, trying to entice a smile from you. 
It works, albeit only slightly. The curve of your lips is minute, but he’ll take it. “We’re both homebodies,” you say simply. “We’ve grown too used to being around each other.” 
“His privilege and your curse,” Sirius laments, exaggerating his grunt when you elbow him in the ribs. “Fine, you’re both very lucky. I’m just glad I managed to snag you for one weekend.” When he aims a saccharine smile your way, he suspects you set your cheek on his shoulder as a ploy to hide your blush. It melts him regardless, like ice cream in the summertime. “Want to watch another episode, lovely girl?” 
He frowns when all that gets out of you is a hum, rubbing your bicep as he presses play. 
He manages to get some dinner into you by insisting you try takeaway from his favorite Thai place in the neighborhood, and you seem amenable to the idea of an early night, all but drooping over the sink as you brush your teeth. 
Sirius will never admit it, but his heart is pounding as he takes a glass down from above the kitchen sink, filling it with water. He hopes this isn’t a massive overreach. This thing between you is still relatively new, and the last thing he wants is to make your first stay at his place awkward for either of you, but he cares about you. From what Sirius can tell, you’ve withdrawn into what seems like an unhappy place inside your head, and he can’t just leave you there by yourself. 
He catches you just as you’re leaving the bathroom, passing you the glass of water as casually as he can, as if it's the most routine thing in the world, before taking your place at the sink. “Don’t forget your medicine,” he says softly, taking his toothbrush from beside yours in the cup.
For a moment, you’re quiet. Sirius squirts toothpaste onto his brush, trying his damndest not to look for your reaction in the mirror. 
“You heard Remus on the phone.” It’s almost a whisper. Nowhere close to a question.
“I didn’t mean to,” Sirius apologizes, glancing up at your reflection. You’re looking distant again, your gaze fixed somewhere to the left of his face. “I’m sorry if I heard something you didn’t want me to, but it’s…did you forget?” 
You take another long moment to reply. Sirius is careful to stay quiet, giving you space as you chew your lip, but when your eyes meet his in the mirror you look so crestfallen his heart nearly stops. “I didn’t forget,” you admit. “It’s just so embarrassing, I didn’t want you to know.” 
He can’t stay still anymore. His toothpaste drops with a wet smack into the bowl of the sink when he sets his toothbrush on the rim, and he’s got your hands in his in a second. “Sweetheart, what do you mean?” He keeps ahold of one of your hands, letting his other one coast up your arm to your shoulder, where his thumb massages your collarbone familiarly. “It’s not embarrassing. It’s just, it’s something you need to be yourself. Like…my sparkly doc martens, you know? Or Remus’ chocolate hoards.” 
Your laugh is brief, more a huffed exhale than anything, but Sirius grins at you nonetheless. His hand moves up to cup the back of your neck, thumb soothing over the edge of your jaw. 
“You know what I really like about you?” he asks. You don’t look inclined to answer, but your left brow flicks up as if to say Go on. “Everything.” 
You scoff, seeming lighter even as you pull away from grasp. “Shut up.” 
“No, really,” he insists, vying for your hand back. “Getting to know you, it’s been amazing. Every new thing I learn is just something more to like.” You finally stop fighting him, eyes wary as he grips you by the shoulders, keeping you in place. “I want to learn everything there is to know about you, whenever you’ll let me. And I know I can’t expect it all at once,” he says, voice dropping into a more sincere register, “but I want all of it, including the parts you think—wrongly, I might add—are embarrassing.” He gives your upper arms a light squeeze. “Got that, pretty girl?”
A light blush colors your cheeks, and Sirius grins. You’re getting harder to fluster these days, but he delights in making it happen whenever he can. “Okay,” you say, still a tad sheepish for his liking. He plants a kiss on your cheek. 
“Good. Now go get your meds. I don’t want you passing out during breakfast tomorrow because of withdrawal.” 
“That’s not how it works,” you snipe, but he hears the rattle of pills as you dig through your overnight bag. 
“Whatever,” he says breezily, picking up his toothbrush to put a new dollop of paste onto it. “I just can’t reckon with the idea that Remus still knows things about you I don’t. Shouldn’t I outrank him by now?” 
“You’ve had roommates,” you tell him, coming back into the bathroom with the glass of water half empty. “You’re really going to tell me that they don’t know more about you than I do right now?”
Sirius makes a noncommittal, muffled sound, pointing to his toothpaste-filled mouth as excuse not to answer. 
“Right,” you say drily. “Maybe we should call your pal Remus and see if he happens to recall.” 
Sirius has never spit so fast in his life. 
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