Why I Swear

I had someone actually comment on a video telling me that they wished i would stop cursing. Now, the video was for me 100%, and it was just asking a question: help me organize hierarchically for worldbuilding purposes, and I was pissy at the time because it seemed like it should be easy, and also I am intensely depressed right now and swearing makes me happy.

In any case, the comment really made me stop and do a think.

Do I want to stop swearing? Why do I swear in the first place? Am I swearing incorrectly? Because you really can start throwing in too many f-bombs. I have done it before. And I will

DO IT AGAIN

So here's the thing about swearing, in case you've ever wondered, or if you have known me from my Distant Past:

Once, I never swore at all. I was so clean, in fact, that other people in high school consistently noted it as one of my personal traits. This was mostly from a sense of propriety and intense religiousness. See, I lived my whole childhood idolizing adults and an Ideal Adulthood--an Ideal Human Experience, if you will. I was merely an adult-in-training, and ideally, Adults Do Not Swear.

When I finally left the faith, I was very disturbed by how complete strangers would just ASSUME I was religious. Specifically, they seemed to clock me as evangelical Christian every time. I couldn't figure it out, and I hated it. I wanted people to KNOW I wasn't religious, and being "identified" as religious just... well, it re-traumatized me. There's no easy way of putting that.

I had some options. Dress specifically? Wear specific merchandise that clearly tied me to anti- or areligious groups? Well, no. I lived in the middle of bass-ackwards Texas and that was just asking for trouble, and it would probably go the opposite way and CREATE antagonism. If you've ever had an ACLU card pop out during a transaction in a store playing Christian music you might pick up on some of the spine-tingling terror that inspires. Oh, and it wasn't a store, it was a dental office, and I hadn't had my procedure done yet. So that's a cool feeling.

You know what you can do?

Pick up "god" instead of "gosh." "Hell" instead of "heck." Eventually, grow brave enough to mention crudities off-hand, and learn how to employ swears and imply filth strategically. And, finally, pepper your speech with "fucks."

The outcome is fucking magical. For one thing, then people can't assume that you are expressing any political belief at all. They can just assume you are ignorant. Hilariously, yes, that is what intensely religious people in Texas will think. You're swearing! You haven't heard the Good News yet!! You might just be a casual Christian!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU YET, GRASSHOPPER!!!!!! ACCEPT CHRIST INTO YOUR HEARRRT

Approbation for swearing is mild, too. You can just not swear on the clock, but swear after it. It's off-putting to older and more proper people, but you don't have to use it much, or as strongly, to get yourself across. And because normal people make for absolutely wretched missionaries, they will KNOW you aren't quite "right" but they also have to wait for very specific points in time to start selling some Jesus.

What is more, something about picking up the act of swearing itself alters you a little. I have no idea what it is. Confidence? The congealing of your belief system, which starts to express itself through your behaviors without you even noticing? I don't know. But it does make a difference in your carriage and body language somehow.

Swearing also made me realize something really special about communication and the kinds of people who are put off by it. To illustrate this, let me tell you a story.

So back in the mid-2010s, I took a job at a Wells Fargo call center, during that period they were (ab)using their help line as sales opportunities. My boss was fucking mental. He would attack me constantly and wasn't beneath name-calling. He would shriek at me about nothing and whisper insults only I could hear. He was exceedingly cruel.

So one day I went back to my old workplace--Walmart--and saw a good friend/coworker smoking outside. I stopped to talk to him and told him my story, which was full of swearing, because holy fucking shit it was an awful experience. His eyes filled with tears for me, and he began swearing back in equal strength about this fucking asshole who was very truly mistreating me.

We started to walk back inside of the store as his break was nearing its end. A man in nice jeans and a business-casual long-sleeved shirt was just ahead of us. He stopped in front of us and said, "You know that kids are in this store, right?"

There's a face I like to call a "church smile." It's this oily, holier-than-thou, "I-am-praying-for-you", "you should know better", pitying expression, complete with a toothless up-turn of the lips and brows lifted and eyes slightly watery (preferable but not necessary). I assure you that any time someone gives it to you, they are about to try and drop what they think is a Truth Bomb. And, because it was a Wednesday night, and given the way the man was groomed and dressed, I could smell church all over him.

Remember. This whole time, my friend and I had been discussing in great detail how my boss had been mistreating me in some of the worst ways possible, including psychological abuse. And what bothered Mr. Church Man was the fact we used the word "fuck." Not that I was abused: "fuck." A kid might hear the word "fuck." MIGHT hear. Hadn't heard it, most assuredly--not from us, it was fuckin 9 PM. (Have they heard it on the bus and at school? Oh yes, at least 300,000 times. But we're not going to talk about that.)

He wasn't worried about ME at all. He was worried about theoretical people,* but he wasn't worried about the real flesh-and-blood person standing in front of him.

I realized at that moment that swearing was also a tool: how wrapped up is someone in how things LOOK over what they ARE? If you're upset about people being hurt, why aren't you upset about me actually being hurt? An appearance can absolutely instruct us in the identity of a thing, but it can also be used as shorthand to ignore complex multi-faceted issues.

And that's why I use profanity--and in my stories, other horrifying elements--to pinpoint exactly how clear a person's comprehension is. Are you worried about the hearts of real problems--that real people, complicated people who can be terrible, are being hurt? Or are you hurt that the world is not as perfect as you would like?

Are you worried about the right things?

So yeah, I'll keep swearing. Like all forms of communication, it's about where and how it's employed. But I will absolutely use it, and I love it. Sometimes it's a relief that civilized language can't provide.

And sometimes it's not just a personal expression.

Sometimes... just sometimes... it's a tool.

*We can argue that he wasn't upset about anyone, but rather for the sake of an ideal moral world that can never exist, but that's another discussion for another time.

THIS AIN'T LEGAL

Have you ever heard of absolute immunity? Federal officers who violate the Civil Rights of American citizens in an attempt to do harm with recorded video evidence of the violation in action or officers who willingly falsify a police report of a violent attack in order to frame the victim while the antagonist sits before a judge and jury perjuring herself with alligator tears before an all white jury with her blonde locks, and blue eyes, damn devil, and goes free while an innocent child spends 17 months behind bars. To say that Amerikkka is unjust is an understatement. Too many times Black people are dragged into a court that's already biased, having to face a judge, and jury who may have a vested financial interest in the private prison industry, but let's be real. The school to prison pipeline is not a myth, it's a bloody bruise on the face of Lady Liberty. Liberty, and justice for all never applied to the indigenous people of Amerikkka or any of the ADOS, and FBA citizens whose roots are entrenched in the Earth bleeding from a wound the wicked do not want to heal. The above mentioned scenarios actually happened to one of your own Amerikkka, and a child from the Middle East. It's funny that Amerikkkans appear to want peace seemingly always, but you're forever raising hell outside of your jurisdiction? Joe Biden is deporting Haitian refugees out of the country ASAP, while transporting inland, and giving amnesty to Afghan refugees, and South Americans even so far as to offer them free secondary education, and housing. The culture of Amerikkka is against a Black man ever rising up to experience the American Dream in a Taliban like Aristocracy or Totalitarian society that started centuries before Biden became president. He's not the answer to our problems nor is he the root of the issue. Amerikkka is a canker sore, and a blight that impedes the progression of a once dominant, but humble people. No one needs to preach of racial superiority and use terror tactics in order to justify a calloused approach to validate this viral disease that affects everyone with a modicum of common sense, decency, and compassion. Amerikkka was a Nation before Amerigo Vespucci set foot on these shores. Alkebulan was inhabited by some of the most brilliant minds, and still is before Scipio Africanus named the dark continent after himself, an albino. Ohhh the irony, and moral hypocrisy. Timbuktu, and the city of Alexandria were well established kingdoms in Alkebulan where Greek, and Roman scholars went to gather much needed knowledge because they were dumb as hell. Egypt is a mystery that none can determine for now. When the prophecy is fulfilled by the Father whom the Prophet Joel spoke thereof He would pour His Spirit down upon all flesh, the truth will set you and I free. And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. What's impeding us from this prophetic word? Keep your thoughts to yourself. That's a luxury I haven't had since the age of stupid. Not wanting to call you out on the sins of your fathers, but you are just like him. I hope, and pray the Father fulfills His will in time before our hearts wax cold, too late. Amerikkka’s public enemy will not be our Black sons or daughters that are trying to follow the rules of man whose lawlessness has revealed itself to be an entire race of people. You create the laws, and break them leaving everyone with a bad taste in their mouth except those who profit from our pain. Chris Rock said this years ago. “The white man is the only one who profits from everyone's pain, especially a Black man’s.” you see how they treat us, and you have no inclination of what your future will hold for your people in the aftermath of the Zombie Apocalypse. I hate this form of pop culture rhetoric. There will be souls inhabiting these bodies that were once dead, and decomposing. God will deliver the dead from the sea, and He will deliver the dead from death, and hell.

Isaiah 26:17-21

17 Like as a woman with child, that draweth near the time of her delivery, is in pain, and crieth out in her pangs; so have we been in thy sight, O Lord.

18 We have been with child, we have been in pain, we have as it were brought forth wind; we have not wrought any deliverance in the earth; neither have the inhabitants of the world fallen.

19 Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.

20 Come, my people, enter thou into thy chambers, and shut thy doors about thee: hide thyself as it were for a little moment, until the indignation be overpast.

21 For, behold, the Lord cometh out of his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity: the earth also shall disclose her blood, and shall no more cover her slain..

When our Lord Christ Jesus does this work how do you think those who've hated, and betrayed us for a season of sin will react in the oncoming horror set before mankind? God has placed us on the Earth for a purpose, not to suffer. I can't put the blame on Joe Biden or those who came before him for what this nation or planet has done, and is doing to us; psych!!! The God of our fathers will judge you according to your works which has wrought death and destruction. The wrath, and judgment Joe Biden, trump, and their people will incur, and experience is worse than any Stephen King novel or Jordan Peele, and M. Night Shyamalan movies can induce in your alleged, fragile psyche. I've told Jacob, and warned the gentiles of God's incoming judgment, but no ones willing to heed the words of an idiot savant. I'm guilty of many things by way of my woeful condition. I'm compelled to elaborate these truths to you as they become relevant at a particular hour. Watch out for your young children who may be a pain, but they're innocent, and they're yours. The world sees us as prey, a potential payoff for an organ harvest, and fodder for the wickedly unjust. This woman that they have been searching for these last 5 or so days in a National Park has this Nation all a buzz. Who is she? Do you know how many women of Jacob go missing everyday without any press from the media? We can blame them, but are they at fault? Hell yeah!!! Continue to read. Our people have been limited by those who control the information, the social media platforms, infighting within our own tried Black media organizations that have blessed us over the years who are left open to attack by oppressive censorship that purposely restricts what they can, and cannot reveal to the Black masses. I was amazed to find out in 2017 that Coretta Scott King, and her family successfully sued the US government over the assassination of MLK Jr.; that was in 1999. The Atlanta Black Star might have covered the litigation process, but I didn't hear a peep from anyone I knew or even hear about it on any news media platform, especially from the major media news networks. That's how they've Silenced the Lamb with threats, and bullying tactics. We've come too far to go back to Egypt. The only time I wanna hear mention of going to Egypt is if my Church takes a sabbatical to the Motherland, and my Apostle takes the trip with us to seek the truths that have been denied us. Reference Joel 2:28. Those who stay committed to this ministry will see beyond the veil. If you placed all of your faith in me or Apostle Johnson you have overlooked the reasons God led you to this Church, Elders, Evangelists, Prophetesses, Deacons, Ministers, and the entire Church family. He nor I can do anything without the will of the Father, and I’m stuck on dufus. Get yo tail back to Church ASAP!!! We place our faith in men who have let us down many times. Apostle has done much for me, but Jesus has done everything. God will do a good work in all of us. I want every man, woman, and child in this ministry to reap what they have sown; don't leave. When the sky turns black, and the heavens roll back, peeling back the clouds, that's when you will see or hear the Son of God coming for His faithful. Apostle has taught us of the temporal mental mindset many times. Evidently it’s true as many of us have forgotten his teachings. My mind went off on a tangent, excuse me, where was I ? BET is owned by Jews, who used to own us. They run the entertainment industry that Buck breaks our men, and you wouldn't believe what they do to black women, and children who are all looking for a way to display their talents in order to get wealth, and their name up in lights. Leroy has the talent, all Mr. Epstein can offer you is a bogus contract that rips you off in the end leaving you po, broke, and lonely with a busted a-hole. Those who beat the system at their own game wind up 6 feet deep. Why do you think they murdered Michael Jackson, Prince, Sam Cooke, and James Brown? Michael owned half of SONY BMI. Prince owned all of his Masters that his

siblings sold for pennies on the dollar. Sam was going to start his own label, and brother James who had a label, but the IRS falsely audited him several times forcing him to sell his label keeping Soul Brother number 1 from becoming the first billionaire recording artist decades before JZ did. THIS AINT LEGAL. All that glitters isn't gold people. Ask Mr. Goldberg who runs several porn studios in Silicone Valley California. They run the majority of that particular industry as well as recording, movie and TV production studios while controlling the financial institutions. The majority heads of the Department of the Treasury including the current, Janet Yellen have been Jewish. Not trying to be a dissenter, but someone’s getting screwed. It's the middle class, and our fat, Black… ? William Randolph Hearst made the movie Reefer Madness which was a propaganda film not because hemp was a gateway drug to other crap, hell a pack of cigarettes has killed more people than ten thousand blunts. Smoke a blunt, and 30 minutes later you wanna eat. Smoke crack, and 30 minutes later you're sucking d**k. Hemp can be used in a vast amount of ways that would’ve crippled Mr. Hearst’s other industries. You can use it as fabric for clothes that's stronger, and more durable than cotton. The hemp plant had more useful potential than the soybean, and peanut combined!!! Marijuana isn't a drug at all, it's an herb. The Egyptians used it to cure many ailments including cancer. If I were still on Instagram Mark Suckerberg would personally shut my page down himself… again. That's why I no longer use white run social media websites. Mr. Hearst's only interest in getting the government to make hemp illegal was to keep his financial, investment interests ever increasing. In the end it turned out to do more harm than good. Now that the government has managed to tax the herb, they've made it legal. Why in the hell are Black men, and women still serving draconian, archaic prison sentences for minor marijuana drug offenses that don't make sense to a mongoloid retard?!! Like I said: “THIS AINT LEGAL.” Babylon the Damned will fall on its pancaked derriere soon enough. Pray to God the Zombie Apocalypse runs right past your abode or get some pads from your son's football uniform in order to appease the dead in Christ who may want a ham sandwich or your daughter Becky. This too shall pass. Try lamb's blood? The closer I get to death or that visitation with someone I've been wanting to see for a long time because I can't see, the more these things come back to my remembrance. This is enough for today. Whatever God reveals to me in the next few days hopefully I’ll relate some of that information to you. I thank those for judging me as a simp, punk b**ch, p**sy a** n**gah, punk a** n**gah, sorry a** n**gah, faggot, and everything you project or judge according to your flesh. I have no secrets so what am I trying to hide? Get your house in order Jeff, your life may be required of you, and ya boy in the wheelchair. Still someone else's identity Yippie Yai Kai Yay mother!@#$%& 9/21/2021

So dumb but you're like the only radfem blog I follow. I was arguing with a man about an article called Young men giving up on marriage: 'women aren't women anymore.' Anyways I said something like "Marriage isn't inherently feminist. Yeah it's changed because people marry for love but it's still flawed. And then I tacked on, "And the big reason I'm bisexual is because men have this attitude. Then he said I wasn't listening to him. I said "I was but he's still kinda sexist." 1

Continued: And then I basically listed problems like rape, wife beating, FGM, child marriage, and stuff like that. Granted, I should have left it at that but he said “You make no sense except to be pissed off at the world and wants self pleasure. And yes birth control should be mandatory for women like you. Better yet they should cut off your genitals because you cant control the hormones coming out of them. God help you.” Like excuse me? I may have been glib and disrespectful but I wasn’t violent. 2 And then it devolved into him ranting about how he lost custody of his daughter. And how his ex suddenly got a career and found a new man. And basically my point was his problems aren’t feminist issues. He claimed to have been raped and abused by his ex. I want to have sympathy but his comment about my bits were uncalled for and unfortunately I have little patience for that type of person. And he ranted about my hormones and said I hope I find Jesus. Idk what that truly meant. 3 Given the context, what should I do about men who claim that the courts treated him unfairly and that he’s been abused by his wife but then do male things like go over the top with the insults? I get that I should state my points more strategically. And am I evil for thinking that while he may have been treated badly by his wife I don’t fully buy into him saying that his ex literally kidnapped the child? That he simply couldn’t prove in court that he was the more fit parent? As sad as it is? 5———————–The short answer? It isn’t actually your job to do anything. He crossed a huge line when he said you needed “mandatory birth control” and mentioned extreme violence towards your genitals and dismissed you as hormonal. He proved in that moment that he was never arguing with you in good faith, and had in fact believed you to be beneath him before the conversation even began. 

Fact is also, given that he brings up his ex moving on and having a career, is glib and gleeful about violence towards women, and is convinced that the courts were simply biased against him… the odds are really high that this man was abusive towards his ex-wife. There may even have been events where he was struck or an altercation because physical, but odds are good that this man spent a lot of time abusing her for things to get to that point. Even studies that show men as victims of abuse often see them citing things like “lack of a hot meal on the table” as examples of abuse. And I have personally listened abusers in different contexts describe themselves as the victims of abuse even as the examples they give show that they are absolutely the perpetrators–I even had one man break down sobbing saying that he was abused by women “not appreciating his money”. I’d tell you what he did to the women he dated but I’m sure you can imagine it was not on that paltry of a level. 

That being said, he also responded to systemic issues with his personal experience. Even if his personal experience is absolutely terrible, he is still posing a view of his personal experience as more important and relevant to statistically huge groups of women going through systemic issues like FGM. I have friends who are male rape victims and NEVER have any of them attempted to downplay the effect of rape on women as an epidemic. In fact, most of them are staunch allies because of the help and resources from women that they received in the wake of that. The average (the majority) of people that work in domestic violence and rape counseling and funding are women. 

And child custody?

Here is a huge list of studies and excerpts from them, but here are some highlights:

Noting that negative stereotypes about women encourage judges to disbelieve women’s allegations of child sexual abuse. Gender bias problems are particularly acute in family courts, and most problematic when sexual abuse of children is alleged in custody or visitation proceedings.  Negative stereotypes about women encourage judges to disbelieve women’s allegations of child sexual abuse. The report stated: “One striking example is the tendency to doubt the credibility of women who make these allegations, and to characterize them as hysterical or vindictive even when medical evidence corroborates a claim of child abuse.” (Danforth and Welling)

Noting that “Many men file proceedings to contest custody as a way of forcing an advantageous property settlement… . Contrary to public perception, men are quite successful in obtaining residential custody of their children when they actually seek it.” (Florida Supreme Court Study Commission)

Massachusetts was one of the first states to document the gender bias against women in family courts. This court-initiated study expressly found that “our research contradicted [the] perception” that “there is a bias in favor of women in these decisions.” Moreover, it found that “in determining custody and visitation, many judges and family service officers do not consider violence toward women relevant.” The Court’s study further found that “the courts are demanding more of mothers than fathers in custody disputes” and that “many courts put the needs of noncustodial fathers above those of custodial mothers and children.” (Massachusetts Supreme Court Study)

The Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence carried out a two year study of 57 battered women who had gone through a custody battle in Arizona family courts. In the Arizona study, 72% of the mothers said they were not given an adequate chance to tell the court their side of the story and 41% were ordered into mediation though the court knew there was violence. (p. 48)The survey found that courts awarded joint or sole custody to the alleged batterers 56-74% of the time (depending on the county). Many of these cases involved documented child abuse or adult abuse.

A multi-year, four-phase study using qualitative and quantitative social science research methodologies by the Wellesley Centers for Women. Battered women reported having to participate in wrenching custody battles with their ex-spouse to keep their children. They noted that their problems were aggravated and sometimes prolonged in the courts or by social service agencies. The battered women testified that they have been wrongly perceived as hysterical and have been accused of lying. The research found widespread adoption of “parental alienation syndrome,” and found “a consistent pattern of human rights abuses” by family courts, including failure to protect battered women and children from abuse, discriminating against and inflicting degrading treatment on battered women, and denying battered women due process. Histories of abuse of mother and children were routinely ignored or discounted. They also reported that evidence of abuse was often ignored, judges were insensitive, and guardians ad litem - the court-assigned advocates for children - made poor assessments. Domestic violence advocates reported that women who fear the family court process stay in abusive situations instead of seeking help. (Human Rights Tribunal on Domestic Violence and Child Custody)

You were arguing with a disrespectful, violent misogynist. That’s the crux of it. No matter how you made your points, no matter how many facts you brought up, his quick descent into graphic and violent language shows that he was never going to listen. All I can suggest, honestly, is if the conversation is public and you want to engage in it, to not stoop to his level of violence, point out what he is saying is violent, and link to studies and state facts whenever you can. You won’t change this man’s mind, but you might change the mind of other people reading. And it’s okay to say, “I’m sorry you went through that experience. That sounds really difficult. But I’m talking about beliefs widely held in groups, not your personal life.” And privately? This type of man honestly isn’t worth engaging with. He will hurt you and drain your energy, and there are better people to talk with that will listen to you and that will be respectful towards you, even if they don’t fully agree.

When he said you “weren’t listening to him”, he didn’t mean “you aren’t hearing my points”, he meant “you didn’t agree when I said my opinion, and that makes me ANGRY”. You made him made because he thought that you disagreeing with him was already an act of aggression, and he responding to that with sexist and abusive remarks about your genitals. Which… is exactly the sort of behavior you were pointing out as a problem: male violence towards women.

Quite honestly, this guy sounds like a piece of trash.