Everyone needs to read this post please and thank you!!

Rather than make a poll about this ongoing issue that's impossible to parse bc I can't see who picked what specifically I'll do this another way: Help me help you by telling me why you don't actively interact. I post and reblog plenty of content all day every day that can be sent in, utilized, etc and it's crickets from ya'll all of the time and that's frustrating af and we need to work things out.

It'd be a different situation if I never offered stuff like calls or what have you; that'd be my bad and I'd need to work on being more proactive, but I'm already doing that and it goes nowhere. I'm constantly offering to help you guys---like right now, because I know the majority of you have read a post similar to this from me and you're gonna do it again---and I mean it every single time no matter how many times I offer it but on the flip side of things you guys need to actually take me up on what I'm offering.

I'm not offering to help merely for fun, you know? I'm offering to help because I understand that this shit can be difficult, it can be hard to talk to people, hard to interact with super niche fandoms and characters, and so on, and there's nothing wrong with having trouble but after a certain point if you continuously refuse to step out of your bubble or accept someone trying to help you the fear argument kinda loses validity, at least in regards to rp related stuff. I'm extending a hand and you need to fucking grab on because chances are the thing that's stopping you---be it you need help with the characters or the lore, you need me to type the first interaction, we need to have an ooc chat about what interests us, whatever it is---can be resolved but we need to fuckin communicate. I'm already meeting all of you halfway; honestly I've been meeting you guys more than halfway for awhile now, and now you need to step up and get in here.

Now does this mean that I'm going to stop offering to help, providing opportunities to interact through calls, memes, etc? Absolutely not. That would defeat the whole purpose and, again, I love offering such things and will continue to do so because it's not only part of what I need to do as a good rp partner I also enjoy doing so, plain and simple. All that I'm asking is that my mutuals (and yes, this applies to everyone, because even those who've followed me for months or years across multiple blogs fail to engage, it's not just newer folks) be more proactive in general. If I'm offering to help you or posting a call or whatever else? Engage. Ask questions. Send a meme. Tell me you want to interact even if you don't know how and we'll figure it out together. I'm tired of constantly chasing people or pulling proverbial teeth, especially when it's completely unnecessary. Communicate and engage with enthusiasm; both on your own and when I offer, and we'll be writing together in no time. Stop getting in your own way. Stop depriving yourselves. Let's have fun and actually fuckin write together.

i was tagged by @onedirecton to tag 10 ppl i want to get to know better and make a few questions :3 hehe, thank you sm alice :3

favourite colour: purple, hehe :3 alice i love that we have the same fav colour 💜💜💜 favourite food: ahhhh, i love most things!!! i do have a soft spot for soups and stews tho like they are so so wonderful……… mutuals pls gather round im giving you all a bowl of w/e soup or stew you like rn 🍲 song stuck in my head: babaero by randy santiago!!! its been stuck in my head since i first listened to it like it really is just so good, god… funky city pop music is really everything to me!!!!!!!! absolute best genre of music ever <<<333 i give it one thousand million hearts <- this was my last obsession bc i wrote all these answers down like. a week ago and forgot to post it so now the song stuck in my head is dagundong by alamat :3 its so good btw~! last long i listened to: hala by alamat!!! spotify did the only good thing its ever done by reintroducing me to alamat again like they are So Good oh my god...highly recommend their music!!! the way they work Filipino history into their videos and songs is soooooooo beautiful omg..... dream trip: hhhhhh i want to go to SO many places but my absolute DREAM is japan!!! id love to check out tokyo bc its so not like where i grew up - a bustling metropolis is what i want to live in like literally get me outta my small town this is not the place for meeeeee 😭 - but nara….the deer there……….god i need to go so BAD and i also just want to go to a cherry blossom festival once like pls…pls :( other than tho id LOVE to visit the great bear rainforest!!! like it just looks so so beautiful and its really not too far from me omg……. last tv show/movie: im currently watching the cherry magic anime (it is so good and so cute omg i forgot how much i enjoy the story….) and rewatching kyou kara maoh which is really and truly such a beloved anime To Me like its absolutely ridiculous god i love it sm!!! and i dont remember the last movie i watched?? i Think it was skinamarink but i could be wrong bc i watched that early last year and surely ive seen a movie since then…? but also maybe not bc i truly do only watch like 1 movie a year 😭 <- also update to this bc i watched sweet home a couple days ago!!! it was quite good and i really enjoyed the practical effects in it :3 older horror movies really have such a beloved place in my heart ahhh...also in writing this i remember i watched The Thing after skinamarink...i. only watched horror movies apparently spicy/sweet/savory: SPICY 🌶️🌶️🌶️ i do like all these things but if i had to choose id def go spicy over either of these!!! i do like spicy + sweet tho like omg one time i had spicy chocolate frozen yogurt and it was sooooooo good !!! idk what was used to make it spicy but i Adored it wahhhh~

also!!! in your lil tag game it said to make a few cool questions so i will make some <<<333

If you could be any animal, would you choose to be a domesticated animal or a wild one? Domesticated can extend to a wild animal that has been individually raised in a home, i.e., someone raising a raccoon a pet.

What is your favourite medium of creation? If you don't really engage in making things, pick whatever you're most interested in trying :3 And by medium I mean everything from drawing or making music or writing…anything creative!

What is/are your favourite(s) combination of colours?

Imagine your perfect summer day; what does it look like? Give as much description as you want :3

What is your favourite celestial object?

now, ill tag @grlfriends, @kwonhochi, @vampirebiter, @wonhosgrl, @librapropaganda, @honeydewtual, @heartual, @10281, @taengoo, @morgoth, @bixiaoshi, @ghostfeather, @ashmp3, @lovenee, @earlymay, @anglerfishare1inchto3feetlong, and @huiven!!! only if you want, ofc :3 and i know it said only 10 ppl but you see. i lost count while tagging ......... but thats fine <3

01.02.23

my manchester bestie is getting married and ofc im having an existential crisis over it bc i make everything about myself and myself only.

she called me yesterday and announced her engagement. and i was like "oooo how did it go? how did he propose?" and turns out it was a mutual agreement between them bc of his visa. so there was so proposal and they're only gonna have a quick wedding just to sign the papers and that's it. so it's not like a wedding wedding. (which is a shame bc i was ready to pack my suitcase and go party!) he lives in london and they only see each other once a month. and his goal for living in the uk was to get uk citizenship. now that i think about it it seems kinda fishy idk. but i don't know their relationship that much, ive only seen the guy once and we didn't really talk. they've been together for like 5 years i think and she really loves him. so it's not really my place to judge i think.

it's weird bc my london bestie was also considering getting married to her boyfriend bc he needed a visa. and a friend of mine from russia recently got married to a spanish guy she's known for like a year, and she had a small wedding so i guess it was also largely related to getting a visa asap.

it made me think about how some people have it so easy. they just go through life, not thinking that much. if they want to do something, they do it, without giving it a second thought. no justification or analysis is needed. oh you like someone? be with them! oh your boyfriend who's a good guy needs a visa? get married! it's that easy!

meanwhile im always analysing the pros and cons of everything, thinking of all the possible outcomes. and if i haven't justified my decision to a 100%, i feel like it's not valid. and then im unhappy bc i can't rationalise it all. and my friends are going with the flow, working office jobs and getting married. and i feel like they're gonna be happier in the longterm and im gonna be the loser who still hasn't figured it out while everyone's moving on with their lives.

why do some people have such an easy approach to life? would i have been happier with B if i thought less? maybe my father was right and it's not that deep. he's good looking and he loves me. what more is there to ask for? nobody is perfect so i should just suck it up and be normal like everyone else. go about my life, do things that everyone else does, not think about anything. but i just struggle with everything i do and can't figure out how to live like a normal person.

i told my stepdad about my concerns and he said that the way i approach life is better than that of my friends. bc spontaneously getting married at 23 like my manchester bestie is stupid bc marriage has huge consequences on the rest of your life. and settling for an office job and not getting a masters like my london bestie is stupid bc the job market is competitive and she might find herself behind everyone else without an extra degree. we're all stupid in our twenties and it's better to think twice now than to find yourself in a shitty situation when you're older. right..?

but idk i just wish i could take things more lightly. im so scared that everyone's gonna be happy with their spontaneous decisions and im gonna miss out on things bc i analyse things too much. i hope that it all goes well for my manchester bestie and the guy isn't just using her for her documents. and if all is well, she's probably gonna have kids when she's done with her phd and live a normal married life just like her parents. and she'll be happy and not think about anything and everything. and she'll continue going about her life and not ask herself weird pseudo-philosophical questions. i think that's what true happiness is.

and im here like an idiot, dreaming about B every night. and trying to figure out why i left him and why i was with him in the first place. and it's all so complicated and weird. and maybe i should've stayed with him and figured things out. and maybe our relationship was actually a good one and im never gonna find anyone better. why leave someone if he's a good match for you? maybe B was a good match for me. and i missed my chance to be happy.

anyway, im gonna message my manchester bestie and tell her to think twice.