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#yoongi soulmate
explicit-tae · 1 year
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Contagious
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An alternate world in which at the age of 25, your true soulmate is revealed. Some choose to defy the soulmate tie - but you refuse; especially when it’s revealed to be your sisters boyfriend.
Warning; cheating, sweating, begging, gagging, nipple play, breast play, nipple sucking, oral (f & m receiving), face sitting, porn with little plot lol, dirty talk, swallowing,
Word Count: 4,104
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Alternate Universe
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Not everyone enjoyed the idea of soulmates. Who the hell did the universe think they were supplying a human being to be your soulmate - someone you could never know until the day came? It was comical, truly, that at the age of 25 you were deemed "ready enough" to encounter your soulmate. You could be in a relationship or vice versa and suddenly, poof - the person you adored is no longer the one you wish to be with.
Of course, some choose to ignore their soulmates all together. It was easier said than done. If you never met your soulmate face to face made things easier. Eye contact was a guarantee give away and to deny the soul tie would be difficult for both parties, but not impossible. You've read many stories of soulmates ignoring their birth right - it caused scarring and sickness, even paranoia; but it wasn't impossible.
Ignoring your birth right wasn't something you were choosing to do yourself. Your 25th birthday was a day you were jumping with joy at the idea of finding your soulmate. You felt hot and heavy, a sign in which your soulmate was nearby. It frightened you - who was he or she and why were they close? Did your soulmate not wish to be with you? If they were close, that meant you knew of them, and they knew of you. If so, it could only mean they knew of you and didn't wish to follow their birth right.
You were correct when your eyes met Min Yoongi the same day. The fluttering feeling of your heart beating faster, the way your palms begin to sweat, and your legs quivered. The chattering around you died down, coming to complete silence and all your eyes could focus on was his and his presence only. His scent nearly made you intoxicated - manly and woody; it causes your mouth to water.
The problem was nearby - and it caused for you to break your trance away from Yoongi. You watched as arms embraced Yoongi and brought him into a tight hug. His eyes doesn't break from yours when your elder sister hugs him close, oblivious to connection radiating from the two of you. You felt sickened to your stomach at the sight, and it also causes your heart to ache, but you had no reason to be upset. He wasn't yours - officially - and your sister had him first. She was one of the many women to ignore her birth right and declared that she would choose her soulmate instead of having it be chosen for her.
Your stomach churns at the sight once more. Yoongi was older than you and your sister, which meant he knew of your soul tie to him for just as long. You pondered if he cares - if he was similar to your sister in ignoring soul ties. Your sister and you were opposites when it came to the universe - though you weren't completely untouched. You weren't opposed to dating or hooking up; however, you were adamant on never settling for anyone who wasn't your soul mate.
"I'm going to be late." you hear your sister's voice pipe up.
"Where are you going?" you murmur, fingers picking at the skin of your hand. "I thought we were going to brunch."
It was your sister's idea, after all, to spend the night at her place and get brunch the next day in celebration of your birthday - and not to celebrate the day you'd find your soul tie.
"I doubled booked." Your sister giggles, but you don't find anything amusing, especially when it came to a special day such as this. "I forgot I told Yui I'd meet her for brunch last week. We can definitely do dinner."
Your cheeks flushes in embarrassment. You can feel the eyes of Yoongi on you, possibly the same pity eyes he always sent you when it came to your sister's carelessness. It wasn't the first time she brushed you off completely and it'd never be the last.
Taking a deep breath, you nod. "Okay." you agreed. "I'll just..."
"Why doesn't she go with you?" Yoongi's voice is deep and raspy, and you swear you can feel your clit pulsing at the sound of it. "You see Yui every other day." he murmurs to her, annoyance evident in his tone.
Your sister sucks her teeth.
"It's fine." you assure, shaking your head. Your sister and you weren't close, nor did the two of you fight constantly. There wasn't much of a sisterhood between the both of you. She was the elder sister who excelled in whatever she did and went against the norm. You were the quiet younger sister who decided to live in tradition more than anything.
"See? She's fine." Your sister brushes Yoongi's concerns off with a tap on the shoulder. "I'll be back later. It's happy hour."
Yoongi scoffs lowly, eyes trailing as your sister strolls off with her purse. The front door open and closes and it's soon silence between the two of you. He wasn't surprised by your sister's ignorance; she's done this time and time again. However, a birthday was sacred and personal - not a happy hour brunch with a friend.
"I gotta-"
"We should talk." Yoongi interrupts. Your 25th birthday was the day he was dreading ever since he began dating your sister. He passed the age of soul ties and once realized that he has yet met his destined soulmate, he decided to settle with your sister. They moved in with one another after a year and by the second, he had met you - his soul mate. It made his life extremely complicated.
"I don't think-"
Yoongi reaches out for you - a mistake - once you're turning away to walk down the hall to the guest bedroom. A shock runs through his veins at your touch; goosebumps erupting his skin. He flinches away from you as if you burned him, eyes wide. He never felt such a sensation - never felt the need to touch anyone until now.
Shit.
Your smell was intoxicating now more than ever. Your scent forever lingeried in his presence upon meeting you years ago. Your sister's scent being fruitier, it was easier to hide your scent. Now, he's unsure if he could ever get the scent out of his mind.
"I'm sorry." Yoongi chokes out. He understands you - he can feel your sorrow. He chose to ignore his soul tie to you and continue being one with your sister. It was selfish of him, he understood; especially how your sister told him how traditional you were when it came to the universe. Yoongi hated conflict and breaking apart a family isn't something he wished to do.
"Don't be." You managed to choke out, throat tight. You couldn't be upset at Yoongi. You were upset with yourself more than anything. The universe could choose your soulmate, but they couldn't make the person consent into loving you. While you brushed all of your love interests away to be with yours, it wasn't guaranteed your soulmate would do the same. "Why didn't you...tell me?"
'Why would he?' You ask yourself. Yoongi and you weren't friends, only cordial. He has been with your sister for years and the thought of him being your soulmate now makes you sick at the universe for how foolish you truly were.
"I love her." Yoongi's words come out as a whisper and his heart churns at the way your face falls. He was hurting himself along with you. Soul ties did this to you. He could feel your pain and confusion; betrayal.
"I got to go." you cough, vision blurring. The years you studied soul ties, they never told you love would hurt like this. Being denied by your soulmate felt worse than any pain you felt before.
"I don't love you any less." Yoongi hurries to stop you, hands curling around your wrist. "I love you, Y/N, but I cannot betray your sister. Not now." Yoongi shakes his head.
He loves you.
Yoongi loves you.
Yoongi loves you?
"I thought if I," Yoongi swallows the lump in his throat. "helped you that it would be enough."
You furrow a brow. "Help...me?"
"I was the one who paid your tuition. Not fully," Yoongi gulps. "I had help but-"
"You." Your eyes widen. You were swimming in debt after college and the office job helped pay the bills, but it wasn't enough to cover such a hefty bill such as tuition. You told yourself after you finished writing your book (that you haven't even began) that you could be the next big author of the decade.
"I recommended you to Hobi-ah. Said you'd be a good addition to his company."
You blinked your eyes several times. "That's how I got hired to a job I never applied to." you scoff, knitting your brows. You swore that your boss, Hoseok, gaslit you into working for him. He gave you a call and stated that he went through your resume and thought you were the perfect match. After several minutes of speaking, you had a job and left yourself confused, but willing to work.
"I told myself that if I couldn't be with you that at least you'll be alright. That you'd write the book you've been struggling on for years and publish it. That you'll become a big time author and maybe move on from me-"
Yoongi's stunned when he feels your lips on his - soft and inviting. Your hands wrap around his neck and your body pushes against his.
'This is wrong.' he tells himself. 'I'm not a single man.'
But kissing you felt right. He felt alive - his body electrifying with each passing second. His mind screamed at him to stop - your sister was who be loved. Yes, he admitted long ago that he couldn't truly love her the way he wanted to; not with you around. But he could never cause your relationship with her to crumble because of fate.
"Tell me to stop." Your lips say against his lips, so inviting that it's painful at the thought of you halting your actions.
'Stop.' Yoongi's mind demands, but his words don't register. Instead, his tongue dips inside your mouth and marvels at how warm and savory your tongue feels against his.
'Tell her to stop.'
Yoongi's hands find your body and he wastes no time in trailing his hands upwards to grope your breast. His breath hitches at the sensation of your clothed against the palm of his hands.
'Tell her to stop.'
Your moans are sweet melodies his ears are blessed to hear. His hands are large massaging your breast, fingers pinching your nipples between massages.
'Tell her to stop!'
"Don't stop." You moan, a string of saliva connecting your tongue to his and it was enough for Yoongi to be fully consumed by you.
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"I never knew you cook." Your sister giggles after taking a bite of her food, more like a nibble. She wasn't going to eat it, she wasn't much of a pork eater.
But Yoongi was, the soul tie telling you.
Speaking of the man, he appears as though he's being tortured. The last he seen of you was a month prior on your birthday - the same birthday he cheated on his longtime girlfriend.
It was difficult for Yoongi to sit across from you when he seen you naked below (and on top) of him. It plagued his mind for the entirety of the days to come, but the guilty he experienced ate him alive. He couldn't look his girlfriend i the eye. He couldn't touch her, either. All her sexual advances had been rejected and he could only guess how horrible she feels.
Yoongi wasn't the only individual who had their mind clouded. Your mind never removed Yoongi from them. The animalistic side he displayed while fucking you - how needy and hard he was, how passionate the sex was between true soulmates.
Minutes felt like seconds when you were with Yoongi, a blur. You laid naked before him on the very bed he shared with your sister. Your mind yells at you to stop - to not be a homewrecker. But your heart and lust tell you to continue - that you were doing nothing wrong. Yoongi may be your sister's boyfriend, but he was your soul mate.
Yoongi's hands engulf your naked breasts, massaging until your nipples stiffen. He licks his lips, head dipping down to wrap his tongue around it. It's savory, causing not only for you to moan at the sensation, but for him as well. Yoongi's breathing quickens as he gets caught into the act of suckling your breast. 
Yoongi shivers, goosebumps covering his skin. He could suck every inch of your body for hours - he could orgasm by just doing so. He was leaking, his cock feeling moist against his boxer briefs. Foreplay with your sister wasn't as amazing as this - but she wasn't his soulmate. You were, and sex with your soulmate was far more intense than with anyone else. 
"I need to taste you." Yoongi pops a nipple from his mouth, his teeth lightly grazing it. "You want to ride my face, baby?"
You melt against the bed, fingers clenching against Yoongi's shirt. You tug at it, nodding your head. You couldn't imagine not sitting on Yoongi's face while his tongue pleasures you. 
Yoongi grunts and removes his shirt. His briefs were tight against his bulge, but he ignores it. He needed you on his tongue now more than ever.
You yelp when Yoongi flips you, your dripping pussy against his lips. His tongue pokes out to lick a savory lick against your clit, eyes staring right into yours. 
"S-shit." you hiss, thighs buckling. You slowly grind against his tongue, your eyes fluttering. 
You were in bliss. This is all you ever desired - to be one with your soulmate. Sex wasn't as good as this - it never would be if it wasn't with Yoongi. 
Your breathing quickens when Yoongi's hands place them on your hips and encourages you to grind against him roughly. His eyes doesn't leave you, completely satisfied that he gets to please you in such a way. Your taste causes his mind to spin, and he determines that you were the best pussy he's ever tasted. 
Yoongi was addicted. 
Yoongi's right hand reaches up to clench your breast. You're twitching against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head. But Yoongi doesn't halt - no, he doesn't dare. He's slurping your clit aggressively as if his life depended on it, and in a way it did. You were his soul mate. He could feel what you felt - and you were cumming.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" you moan out, body twitching against Yoongi's tongue licking up your juices.
You clench your legs just thinking about it. The way you came on Yoongi's tongue was a first in a lifetime orgasm that you couldn't give up. The weeks leading up to today was torture. You couldn't stop touching yourself at the memory of Yoongi in bed with you. But it wasn't enough. Nor was the vibrator and even the dildo you recently purchased.
You lick your lips at Yoongi, heart content that he's enjoying your cooking. You were positive he would, soul ties have several benefits in and outside of sex.
"I'm going to go make a sandwich." your sister stands from her seat, placing the pork contents onto Yoongi's plate.  "And rummage through your cabinets."
Your sister rounds the corner to your kitchen. You can hear her doing as she said she would, opening and closing your fridge and cabinets.
Your eyes glance at Yoongi from across of you. He's finishing up his plate as you watch him. The sounds your sister is making was what caused you to act in such a way. 
Yoongi yelps when something pinches his thigh. His head snaps up to survey his surroundings, not finding you. He dips his head underneath the table and gulps when he witnesses you. 
"Y/N-"
"I need you." you begged, eyes pleading him. It makes him weak, but his brain allows him to shake his head. 
"Y/N, not now." Yoongi hisses, eyes wide with shock. You're so beautiful kneeling before him, but your sister was in the next room. 
Yoongi doesn't stop your hands from inching towards his (hardened) length. 
"She won't hear if you're quiet." You lick your lips. Your own judgment was clouding you. Never in a million years would you have done this, but you'll blame your soul tie (and lust) for Yoongi. "Don't you want me?"
Fuck. 
Yoongi finds himself nodding. His eyes glance to the doorway where your sister stood behind, making her sandwich. 
The things his soulmate was making him do. 
But he couldn't fully blame you. His heart ached for you while he laid next to your sister at night. His mind often played flashbacks of his night with you, and it drove him insane.
"I need you, Yoongi." you begged, falling back against the bed. "I need you inside of me."
"Yeah, baby?" Yoongi slithers on top of you. His lips kiss along your jaw. "You want me to fuck you?"
Yoongi shivers, biting his lips. His hands rub along your thighs. He wished nothing more than to be deep inside of you - to coat every inch of your walls with his cum until you were dripping.
Yoongi's thoughts were filthy. He managed to keep his thoughts of you at ease, but now that the both of you were together and fully aware of the soul tie, his mind couldn't help but crave you. 
Yoongi manages to release his cock. He couldn't wait a second longer - not while you laid beneath him begging to be fucked. 
Yoongi positions his cock at your entrance, gently rubbing against your clit. He grunts - you were the wettest pussy he's encountered. He ponders how in the world he was going to get you out of his mind once the deed was done. 
"Shiiiit." Yoongi grunts as he enters you. You're warm and wet and he regrets not doing this with you sooner.
Yoongi was but a man, but he tries. He tries to be gentle and slow, but your soft moans mixed with the tightness of your pussy sends him over the edge. He couldn't help but fuck into you, snapping his hips to get deeper inside of you. 
Your eyes snap shut. You never felt complete such as this. His cock was made for you, truly. Your pussy was made for him, the way it squelches was just one way of knowing.  
"This pussy was made for me, baby." Yoongi grumbles, nails digging into your skin. He wraps your legs around his waist and snaps his hips inside of you. "You're so wet and tight for me."
Neither of you cared at the mess you were making on his bed, nor the ruckus that echoed across the room. Skin slapping, heavy breathing and moans - it was sickening truly at how comfortable the two of them felt when at any given moment they could be caught. But at this moment, neither of you bothered to care. It was just the two of you in this moment - and you couldn't ask for anything else. 
Yoongi was a man and no matter how hard he tried to not be filthy, he couldn't control himself. He fucked you on your back with your knees behind your ears. He fucked you from behind, hands slapping your ass while you pleaded for more. He flipped and even managed to fuck you while you rode him - and yet and still he could never be tired of the way your pussy felt heavenly for him - just for him.
Yoongi hurryingly pushed down his pants, eyes darting to the doorway. 
Your hands wrap around his cock hungrily, mouthwatering. This would be your first-time blowing Yoongi and you couldn't wait.
You wasted no time in licking the tip of Yoongi's cock like your favorite lollipop. Your hands thrust and rub against the base while you suck the tip of his cock. 
Yoongi bites his lip to hide the moans. Your mouther was amazing, almost as amazing as your pussy. The adrenaline rushing through him excites him. The thought of almost being caught with your lips wrapped around his cock brings the excitement he never knew he desired. 
You bring Yoongi's cock deeper into your mouth. You feel his fingers tangle into your hair, bringing his cock deeper and deeper. 
"Y/N!" your sister calls, but Yoongi couldn't stop himself from thrusting into you. "I'm going to use the last of this mayonnaise."
Your eyes watered as you peered up at a grunting Yoongi. Saliva slides down the corner of your mouth and you could no longer help the low gagging noises when Yoongi reaches your throat. 
"Fuck baby." Yoongi grunts. He slaps your cheeks, eyes dark. There was something sinister in him that desired to do every and anything filthy to you. You were more than willing. "You want us to get caught, don't you?"
You do, as fucked up as it was. You wished nothing more than your sister to see you and your soulmate doing what you were destined to. It was terrible, but it was what she deserved. If she would have agreed to be with her own soulmate you wouldn't have to sneak to be with yours.
Yoongi slides the chair back. If he was going to cum before your sister returned, he'd need to be his usually rough self. He thrusts deeper into your throat. Your sister opens and closes the fridge a few more times, but no footsteps could be heard. 
Your eyes catch Yoongi's, though blurry and teary eyed. 
"You're so beautiful for me, baby." Yoongi murmurs, cock twitching inside of you. "My beautiful soulmate. So dirty...all for me."
Yoongi thrusts a few more times before he cums deep inside of your mouth. It hits the back of your throat, and you swore you'd choke. 
"I love you." Yoongi hisses, legs giving out and he falls back into the chair. 
Your eyes widen, swallowing the cum inside your mouth. Yoongi is breathing heavily but manages to lift his pants up while you wipe your mouth. Your sister is finishing up, you can hear her footsteps come closer.
Your lips place themselves onto Yoongi's in a quick kiss. "I love you, too." you murmur against his lips and push yourself back to your seat. 
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"Are you sure this is something you'd want to publish?" your editor snickers, but she's overly amused. 
Months had since passed, and Yoongi and you were left a secret. Everything between the two of you weren't sexual. You two went out on dates, but in the next town over. Your sister had several friends and being caught would only assure that your sister would know. 
Yoongi insisted that he and your sister weren't together anymore sexually, but the titled as his girlfriend still remained to her. It upset you, but he wasn't lying about not touching her. She has ranted how the sex was nonexistent and she was not only sexually frustrated, but physically and emotionally. 
"Yes." you nod your head. 
You managed to finish the book you were writing. The original plot had since changed into the new one, a memoir of your time as a mistress to your soulmate. Your editor insisted that it would be a best-seller, but your reputation would be rooted as a homewrecker. 
It was a risk you were willing to take, however, in order to have Yoongi be yours fully. It was a risk that your sister would come to despise you, but that was what you were willing to endure.
Yoongi was a man that hated conflict. He couldn't hurt your sister more than what he already was. He thought if he became emotionally (and physically) unavailable that she would eventually leave him. 
But you knew your sister. She was stubborn - persistent.
But so were you. 
"What's the title?" your editor raises her brow. In a short few weeks, the book would be published, and no doubt would it be a best-seller amongst young adults. You'll be on your book tour with promoting your book and then will be rolling in cash - all about you cheating with your sister's boyfriend. 
"Contagious." You respond, heart beating rapidly. You couldn't believe you were doing this - but it needed to be done. For you and Yoongi's relationship. He was your soulmate, after all, and he could never remain upset with you for long. 
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@juju-227592 @iheartsvt @seokjinkismet @bloodline1632
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bluemari23 · 3 months
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hello soulmate | min yoongi
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summary: your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned
pairing: min yoongi x hype employee reader
genre: soulmate au, soulmarks, fluff,
warnings: running, unhappy coworkers, some injury
word count: 1.7k
masterlist
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Running was not your forte, and neither was breathing apparently as you choke trying to get air into your lungs as you reach the fortunately empty elevator. 
You were running late, and you were seconds away from being fired on your third day of work. You had just gotten the job as one of the content creators for a variety show through one of the big four entertainment companies, and today was the first official day at the company. 
HYBE was bigger than you imagined, and thus, the reason you were late. You had gotten lost on the first floor and then there were issues with your ID card getting past security. But you manage to reach the 12th floor in record time and use the piece of paper you received the last meeting to find the correct room. 
It was slight chaos when you opened the door, unsurprisingly as you now realized who you would be working with for the variety show. Everything was kept top secret until you were approved by HYBE and showed up on the first day, after signing numerous NDA’s of course. 
The BTS boys were having fun and running amuck as they waited for the shoot to start. It was supposed to be just a fun shoot, numerous arcade games set up throughout the room and a table set in the middle where some challenges were going to take place later on. 
You looked around after taking in the room, trying to set eyes on your director. Eventually you find him talking to your fellow creators, going over the different challenges that would be taking place. 
“—After the water bottle challenge, we’re going to move onto the karaoke booth.” You arrive just at the tail end of the run through, but you manage to understand anyways, seeing as you all had a copy of the schedule for the day. 
“Where have you been? Never mind, you’re working on the individual camera today.” Your director questions you but doesn’t give you any time to explain yourself before moving on and assigning you your task. You quickly nod your head, before moving to grab one of the video cameras from the table. 
You would be in charge of taking individual behind the scenes videos and photos for the social media accounts. You had seen episodes of Run BTS before and knew how much moving you would be doing today. 
Again. Running wasn’t your thing. 
“What are you doing?” You turn your head to see a slightly older woman in front of you, her hands on her hips as she looks towards the camera in your hands. 
“I was assigned individual shots today, Ma’am.” You respond as politely as you can, getting bad feelings from the woman in front of you. 
You could almost feel that you would be having problems with her. You tried to be respectful though, not wanting to step on anyone’s toes on your first official day. 
The woman just looked you up and down, her nose crinkling a little before she spoke. “Just don’t get in my way. I’ve been doing this longer than you have and don’t need some inexperienced newbie messing up my photos.” 
You can only nod before she is walking past you, bumping into your shoulder on her way past. 
‘What the heck?’ you think, turning to watch as she steps forward and begins to talk to one of the supervisors who was in the middle of talking to Namjoon. Shaking your head, you move to the edge of the set, close to the basketball arcade shot game. 
You had a good view of the other games from here and felt you could maneuver through the set easier from where you were set up. Bringing your camera up to your eyes, you begin taking some practice shots, making sure the lighting was good and the settings on the camera aligned with what you wanted to photograph.
It took you some time, but eventually you were able to begin taking photos of the boys who had come back to mess around with the games after getting changed and before the actual shoot started. 
You were so focused on the pictures that you didn’t even notice one of the boys moving up to you. 
“Hi! You must be one of the new creators! I’m Taehyung.” The bright eyed man bounced right up to you when he noticed you, hand held in front of you to shake your hand as he introduced himself. 
You put your camera down, smiling softly as you brought your hand to meet his, introducing yourself. As you did, you caught his attention on your wrist, where your soulmark resided. The initials of your soulmate were written in short, quick writing, the gray M and Y staring back up at you since the minute you turned sixteen. 
Taehyung’s smile only seemed to widen once you introduced yourself, a twinkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before. You could barely blink before the director was calling for the boys to get into place; the shoot was about to begin. 
You smile as you watch him bounce away again, his energy levels palpable as you hold your camera up again. 
The next hour was spent moving slowly throughout the edge of the set up game room, trying to get as many good shots as you could. You noticed that Taehyung gravitated towards you and seemed to pull Yoongi with him to play the basketball game, Jungkook following behind to try and battle against the basketball player. 
You moved closer to get a picture of both boys making a basket and scoring a point when someone stepped on your foot causing pain to radiate up your ankle and shin. A gasp leaves your lips as you look towards your left to see the woman from earlier, a glare set on her dark eyes as she almost pushes you aside. 
You end up tripping over the cord to another game and just barely manage to catch yourself on the corner of said game before injuring yourself or ruining the shoot. You were so focused on the pain in your foot you didn’t even notice the burning in your wrist as your soulmark gets darker. 
You didn’t notice the three men witnessing the entire thing, nor the dark looks Taehyung was sending to the older woman. A break was luckily called soon enough and you tried to move away back to the far wall but a hand on your arm stops you.
“What was that? I thought I told you not to get in my way?!” The older woman steps in front of you, her hand still gripping tightly to your forearm. 
“I’m sorry, Ma’am. It won’t happen again.” You grit out as politely as you can, the pain in your ankle making you want to sit down but you knew you needed to just go along with what she was saying, not wanting any trouble. 
“No. Don’t apologize.” You both turn to your right to see Taehyung, Yoongi and Jungkook, all three eyeing the hand gripping onto your forearm. The woman is quick to release you when she realizes what the boys were seeing. 
“Oh boys! Don’t worry about this. I’m just giving some advice to the newbie.” The woman was quick to put on the sweet tone as she speaks to them. You just want to roll your eyes. 
Pulling your arm back to your chest, rubbing against where you knew her grip was going to leave some bruises. Your sleeve had rolled back down and your forearm was on full display, along with your soulmark. 
“Advice? It seemed like you stepped on and pushed someone out of the way. That is not okay nor something we want to see happen between our employees.” Yoongi’s voice was low, each word spoken slowly as if to ensure the woman knew exactly what she had done. 
Jungkook moved to you while Taehyung and Yoongi were talking to the woman, his hand holding onto your own, softly and a huge contrast to the woman as he tilts your forearm around to see the spot where the woman held you.
The skin was red and he knew it would bruise. This was unacceptable and he would make sure that the woman would be reprimanded for her actions. As Jungkook continued to look over your arm, his attention was caught by your soulmark, his hyungs initials on the inside of your wrist. 
‘No wonder Taehyung kept bringing him to where you were…’ Jungkook mused, a small smile on his lips as the thought of Taehyung trying to bring you two together. 
Well, no time like the present. 
Taehyung agreed, as his next words caught the attention of everyone. 
“You hurt Yoongi’s mate.” Your eyes widened as your head turned quickly to see Yoongi already staring at you, your faces both sharing the expression of shock. Jungkook was still holding your wrist, bringing you the two feet until you were right in front of Yoongi. 
You were silent, trying to process everything as Yoongi looked down at your held out wrist, his initials written in his own handwriting. Slowly, he pulled his own sleeve up, showing you his soulmark. 
Your initials were written in your own soft script, smooth cursive showing on his inner wrist, the same spot as your own. 
You were lost in your own world, oblivious to all of the noise and emotions happened outside the two of you. Yoongi slowly brought his hand to your wrist, his thumb rubbing over the top of your soulmark, gray turning to a dark black as the soulbond snaps into place confirming Taehyung’s suspicions. 
“Hello, soulmate.” A gummy smile burns into your retina, a memory you never want to forget as warmth erupts in your soul.
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casuallyimagining · 6 months
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Set Me Free || myg
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min yoongi x female reader
Summary: Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to? Word Count: 14,377 Genre: friends to enemies to lovers, supernatural au, witch & familiar au, soulmate au, angst, fluff Warnings: death of a parent (brief mention), alcohol, soulmate breakup, smooching
Notes: banner by @itaeewon. thank you to @daechwitatamic and @oddinary4bts for beta-ing and listening to me struggle my way through this. as always. and extra thanks to ella for helping me write Yoongi's letters and to my friend tanya for giving me a super helpful base for the ending.
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It’s cold. The late autumn wind rustles through amber-brown-orange-yellow leaves, swirling the fallen ones into little tornadoes that scuttle across the pavement. The cold doesn’t bother Yoongi, necessarily. It’s been a while since he’s been here, in this town, on this street, but even after so much time, his body remembers the chill of November in the same way his feet remember the way to his destination. He shoves his hands deep into his pockets and pauses at the street corner.
It’s strange being back here. He’d once known this neighborhood so intimately, he could map it in his sleep. Not much has changed in the almost 13 years he’s been gone. The park on the corner is the same. The playground, massive to an eight-year-old with a near-infinite imagination, stands resolute, its plastic and paint sun-faded and weathered. Further up the block is the head of the trail that snakes its way through the forest, where he’d spent countless hours playing pirates as a kid and exploring as a teen. And there, at the end of the street, is his destination.
The closer he gets, the more his stomach roils with nerves. Thirteen years since he’d walked down this sidewalk. Thirteen years since he’d walked onto that front porch. Or rather, 12 years, 5 months, and 11 days. 
But who’s counting?
There’s a light on in the front room of the house, he can see it through the big window despite the shades being pulled closed. He hesitates. He’s spent days–no, weeks–playing out in his head how this was going to go. In a moment, he’ll know if any of those scenarios were correct. And frankly, right now, he’s terrified. 
What if you start to cry? What if you slam the door in his face? What if you hug him? What if you yell at him? What if you don’t answer? What if you want to talk? What if you never want to see him again? What if you invite him in? What if you have someone over?
He takes a deep breath and knocks.
It takes a second. He can hear shuffling around on the other side of the door, so he knows his knock was heard. But the longer it takes, the sweatier his hands get, and the more he considers turning and running away. The door opens before he can make a move.
You stand in the doorway, bathed in the warm light of the living room lamp behind you. And shit, Yoongi doesn’t know what to say. In many ways, you haven’t changed since the last time he saw you, but at the same time, you look so different. He can see in your eyes the moment the realization hits, and your expression changes drastically. You looked tired–and Yoongi can sense that it goes deeper than just physical exhaustion–and you were slouching, but now, you’re standing ramrod straight, and there’s a hard look in your eyes. One he knows all too well.
“Hey.” He raises a hand, offers a wave that, in hindsight, is rather pathetic. You stare at him, unblinking, and slowly, he lowers his hand. “I uh… I heard about your parents,” he says softly, scuffing his shoe against the wood of the porch. “I’m sorry you have to go through it.”
“Brave of you to show up.” You sound almost bored, but Yoongi knows–he senses, in that kind of primal, gut feeling he gets when it comes to you–that it’s an act. “You know I could turn you into a bug and squash you if I wanted to.”
“I know.”
There’s a tense moment where you stare at each other, the scowl you wear pulling your lips downward and creasing your brow. But then you heave an exhausted sigh.
“Why are you here, Yoongi?”
“I…” 
I want to apologize. 
I’m so sorry.
I miss you.
It all catches in his throat. He coughs in a meager attempt to entice something–anything–to come out of his mouth. “I wanted you to have this.”
He holds out his hands, and in an instant, he’s holding a box. It’s full but not heavy, and he thrusts it out in front of him in your direction.
“A 10-year-old shoebox?” You do nothing to mask your surprise. 
“Letters,” he corrects. “You don’t have to read them but… I wanted you to have them.” He pushes the box into your arms, leaving you no choice but to take it. Then, he steps away and nods his head. “Thank you for not turning me into a bug. I am sorry about your parents. I… guess I’ll go.”
Without another word, he trots down the porch steps. And then, in a blink, he’s gone. Disappeared into the night.
You sigh and shut the door, the box he’d given you cradled in the crook of your arm. You don’t have the energy for this right now. Honestly, you aren’t sure that you’ll ever have the energy for it, but certainly not the day before your parents’ funeral.
Whoever had decided that witches and their familiars die together clearly never thought of the ones left behind.
You collapse onto the couch, placing the box beside you. This would be easier if you weren’t alone. It would be easier with Yoongi, your brain supplies less than helpfully. You curse yourself. You curse him. After all these years, you thought you were over it, over the abandonment, over the betrayal. But all it takes is for him to show his stupid face, and you can feel it all bubbling up anew. Angrily, you push the box off the couch. It explodes when it hits the floor, what seems like thousands of pieces of paper tumble out and scatter from the force.
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The forest was almost silent as you stalked the trail. Not even the birds were happy that day. Twigs snapped under your feet. You weren’t even paying attention to where you were going, your feet carrying you along the path that you’d hiked countless times before. You needed to get away, to escape, to calm down. But you couldn’t, because what you were running away from was hot on your heels.
“Would you slow down?” You could hear the frustration in Yoongi’s voice as he followed you. You ignored him. “Goddamnit,” he breathed, picking up his pace. “Will you at least listen to me?”
Quite frankly, you didn’t care what he had to say in that moment.
“It wouldn’t be a permanent thing,” he continued. “I just… I don’t know. I need to do this.”
You stopped, sliding a little on the damp new growth below your feet. “What the fuck are you talking about? You’re not being oppressed, Yoongi. No one’s stopping you from going out and exploring the world.”
“Maybe this way of life isn’t for everyone. Maybe not everyone wants their whole existence to be predetermined at birth. Maybe not everyone wants the universe to choose who they’re supposed to be with and how they’re supposed to live.”
His words stung, and until then, you weren’t quite sure why. Rejection. Not just of how you lived, and who he was, and how things had always been. But of you. Yoongi was your familiar, you were destined to be together in some way since you were six years old and the bond gem first appeared. Not all witches and familiars were in romantic relationships–your parents were, sure, and Yoongi’s parents–but plenty of them had other partners, lives separate from each other. Platonic soulmates navigating the world together.
Until a few months before, you’d been content with that. There was no doubt you’d been best friends from the jump. You’d been practically inseparable through school. Then, months before, he’d kissed you at the winter market. Right there in the park, under the aurora. Before that, you hadn’t thought of him as any more than your best friend. But the kiss had unlocked something inside you. And now…
Now he wanted you gone. 
“You want to be free that badly?” By some miracle, your voice sounded positively venomous, even though you felt like you could crumble at any moment. “Fine.”
“Wh-”
There’s a saying your mother told you once, back when you were a child. You and Yoongi had found a turtle in the woods, stuck in the mud. His little turtle leg had been hurt, and you’d rushed it to your mother immediately. Familiars were excellent with animals, and she was no exception, healing the turtle in days when it should have taken weeks. You and Yoongi had both cried when you had to release it back into the wild–you’d both so wanted it to be your friend. ‘If you love something, set it free,’ your mother had said, ‘Sometimes it’s the kindest option.’
Kinder for whom?
The chain around your wrist snapped easily when you wrapped your fingers around it. The incantation meant to keep the bond gem safe became meaningless as soon as you wanted it gone. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been without it around your wrist. You loved it, with its gem of swirling, inky black and navy blue. It reminded you so much of Yoongi, deep and calm and unwavering. 
Without a word, you tossed the bracelet to the ground. Yoongi’s eyes widened as it hit and the gem cracked. For good measure, you stepped on it, crushed it into dust. There was a pitiful swirl of blue magic that puffed up from the dirt. When you moved your foot, there was nothing left of the bond gem or its chain.
“What the fuck?” Yoongi’s eyes were glassy when you finally looked at him. He looked almost as crushed as you felt. “What the fuck?”
“You’re free.” And this time, you couldn’t hide your sadness behind your anger. 
He didn’t follow you as you walked away, and honestly, it was for the best. It was faint, but you could still feel his emotions, and you weren’t sure you could handle that kind of heartache in person.
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There is paper everywhere. Hundreds of pieces, folded neatly in thirds. You have no idea how Yoongi had fit them all into the shoebox. He must’ve enchanted it. Groaning, you start to pick them up. 
Letters, he’d said. You flip through some as you gather them up. Now that they’re on the floor, they aren’t in any particular order, but it quickly becomes clear that these letters span years. There are some from 12 years ago, written shortly after he’d left. Some are more recent. You stare at one, from December of the year he left. Glancing through it, you expect it to unearth your anger, your rage. But it doesn’t. Just like seeing him again, all Yoongi’s letter brings is sadness. Grief.
You’d spent the past 12 years grieving. Sure, he hadn’t died, but when he left, you’d lost the closest relationship you would ever have. In 17 years, you’d grown so accustomed to having him there, that when he was gone, there was a Yoongi-sized hole left in your life that you had to learn to fill. And you did your best, sewing yourself back together and moving on. But it wasn’t the same.
Glancing through his letter, it seems you weren’t the only one struggling. You aren’t sure if that’s a comfort or not.
It’s been almost a year since the night market–one year since everything started crumbling around us. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It felt right in the moment, didn’t it? I really thought you would understand.
I’ve tried to figure out where things went wrong. But shit, I can’t wrap my head around it. Why did you react like that when I told you I just wanted to be free?
At the end of the day, I guess we didn’t understand each other as much as I thought we did. As much as this bond brings us together, I guess it doesn’t reveal everything. But… that night I just wanted to kiss you, and so I did. Maybe it was selfish. Sometimes I wish the bond didn’t exist, that we could just be free to choose things for ourselves. That we weren't forced into what the universe wants from us… Maybe that’s selfish, too.
Why couldn’t you understand? I just wish I could turn back time and make you understand. Maybe then you wouldn’t hate me, and maybe then I’d stop hating myself too.
Because watching you destroy the gem nearly killed me, but it wasn’t half as bad as watching you walk away. Should I have run after you? 
Would you still be there if I had?
You sigh and lean back against your couch. That damn night market. You hadn’t been back to it since the year he’d kissed you. It’s silly, but a part of you blames it for everything that happened. Because Yoongi’s letter is right. It had marked the beginning of everything going wrong. It wouldn’t change anything, but there’s a part of you that won’t listen to logic, that refuses to believe that maybe, if he hadn’t kissed you–if you hadn’t kissed him back–he wouldn’t have left. 
The night market was beautiful. It always was, but that year was particularly beautiful. The park had been decorated in all of its sparkling, winter glory. Candles twinkled in the trees, suspended by sheer force of will. Through some magic you weren’t familiar with, they’d enchanted the sky, and an aurora shimmered far above, slowly swirling in greens and blues and purples. Snow fell gently, and you weren’t sure if it was natural, or if it was also magic. 
You browsed the various tents and tables, going from one to the other to see the different things people were selling. Some had crafts, others baked goods, and some were even selling things like potion ingredients and spellbooks. There were a few tables dedicated to familiars–books on shifting and specialty items and insets and jewelry for bond gems.
Yoongi followed you closely, clutching a hot chocolate. You knew he wasn’t cold, the temperature was nowhere near low enough for either of you to be uncomfortable, but the way his fingers tapped against the paper cup, you knew something was up. You could sense his anxiety, could feel it in the pit of your own stomach.
“Want to go sit?” you asked softly, gesturing over to the picnic tables they’d set up under one of the sparkling trees. 
His eyes widened. “No, that’s okay. You’re looking.”
“I’m done. Let’s go sit.”
“I-” He deflated a little and didn’t argue further, allowing you to lead him over to one of the tables. 
You sat side by side on the bench, backs against the table, and watched the snow fall around you. The night was peaceful, quiet for the most part except for the occasional laughter that bubbled up. Most of the older crowd had left, leaving only the teens and young adults to explore the market. You watched the other festival goers in silence, Yoongi’s arm pressed against your own.
“You okay?” you asked softly, bumping your shoulder into his own.
Yoongi being quiet was nothing new. He was an observer, a listener, he took in information like a sponge. Which wasn’t to say that he was never loud and boisterous, that he didn’t talk incessantly to the people he cared about. But he was absolutely the calmest presence you’d ever been around, even compared to the adults in your life.
But you could sense what he was feeling, could feel his nerves and unease and conflict. And you knew that he’d rather explode than burden anyone with his feelings. So you prodded. Ever so gently. Because he was your best friend, and when he was suffering, you were too. 
He stayed quiet, and when you turned to look at him, he was much closer than you were expecting. A moment passed. You shared a look. You’d always thought that Yoongi’s eyes were pretty, but in the twinkling light of the candles above, they were deep pools of warm, dark cedar and flecks of honey. Slowly, subtly, he leaned in–or maybe you did, you weren’t sure– as though some mysterious force was drawing you together. An emotion flashed in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite take the time to consider what it may have been because he was kissing you. Lips chapped from the bitter wind moulded against your own for the shortest of moments. It was tentative and delicate and brief, but as he pulled away, your mind reeled. 
That day had affected you in ways you never would have expected. Before, you’d never considered Yoongi as anything more than your best friend, the platonic other half of yourself. And then the kiss, and suddenly, it was like you’d been awakened. For as long as you could remember, your thoughts had been filled with Yoongi. Of the things he liked, the things he didn’t, of spending time with him, of the academy (with him). Suddenly, you were suspecting that maybe there was more to that, more than just the bond of a witch and their familiar.
You sigh. The letters are all finally back in the box, though nowhere near as nicely as they’d been before you’d kicked it and it had exploded. You should get up. You should go to bed. You have to be up fairly early for the funeral. But you stay seated, the box of letters in your lap.
Seeing him again was hard. You’re willing to admit that. You’d spent 12 years convincing yourself that you were fine, harboring anger and resentment and frustration, all for it to melt away the second you saw him. The bond makes it tough to stay mad at him, but it doesn’t let you forget the betrayal.
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You stand out of the way, looking out over the funeral attendees in the park. Your parents didn’t have a lot of friends, but there are enough people here that you’d officially call it a crowd. They’re all mingling–you’d bought beer and wine, and if you didn’t know any better, it could maybe be a party and not a wake. You tighten your fist around the bond gem in your hand. For as long as you could remember, your dad had worn it around his neck, tucked under his shirt. The gem is like your mother–bright pink, fiery orange, deep yellow–and when you were a child, you’d loved to look at it, mesmerized by the swirling, glittering colors. 
The gems have always been a gift from a familiar to their witch, given to symbolize the soulmate-like bonds between them. Most witches–especially those who were romantically involved with their familiars–wear them as jewelry. They don’t really do anything, though some people claim it made their magic stronger (you aren’t really sure about that, seeing as most gems appear in childhood).
As a child, you hadn’t been particularly close with your parents. Especially as a teen, you would have much rather hung out with Yoongi than them. But they were kind, and supportive, and for the most part, they left you to do your own thing. They’d been almost as devastated as you when you’d crushed your bond gem.
Days after your fight with Yoongi, the doorbell rang. Your mother had opened the door. You were upstairs. You’d stayed home from school that day–sick, but not in the way the administrators would have accepted. For a few brief moments, you’d ignored whatever visitor was downstairs. But then-
“She’s not here.” Your mother’s voice drifted up to you. She sounded disappointed.
“Please.” It was Yoongi, you’d recognize his baritone from miles away.
Quietly, you’d slipped out of your room and crept down the hall, sitting at the top of the stairs. You could hear your mother sigh, could see her shift her weight from one foot to the other. Your father appeared from the kitchen and joined your mother at the door.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” he said, shaking his head. He leaned against the doorknob, pulling it a little more shut in the process so it blocked you completely from the door’s sight.
A long moment of silence passed before your mother called, “Yoongi?” You couldn’t hear his response–he must have already gone down the porch steps. Your mother continued, “It can be scary, and you’re both still young. Give it time.”
The door shut quietly, and both of your parents looked to where you were sitting. You could see it in both of their eyes. Sadness, but something else. Something that looked a little close to pity.
A laugh draws your attention, and you smile sadly as you watch your mother’s coworkers laugh at some memory. But then you notice, just behind them, a shadow close to the ground and suddenly, you’re distracted all over again. Because there, half-hidden by a bush, sits a black cat. Cedar and honey eyes watch you intently, its dark fur swirling and shining like a thousand galaxies. Your hand tightens around your parents’ bond gem, the chain pressing sharply into the flesh of your hand.
He doesn’t move, just sits there patiently. Watching. He’s there as people approach you, offering condolences and hugs that you don’t particularly want; he’s there when people start trickling out. And he’s there when you’re the last one left, all alone under the large oak tree in the center of the park. 
It’s quiet as you stand there, staring down at the bond gem in your hands. This is the part you’ve been dreading. Because you don’t want to keep the damn thing–you could if you wanted to, but there’s also tradition to think about. But it’s also weird to give up the one thing that is so emblematic of your parents. You wonder if they’d felt like this when your grandparents had died. 
At least they’d had each other during it.
You can sense him approach, even though his steps are completely silent. And though he comes closer, he keeps his distance. On one hand, you appreciate it. On the other…
“If you’re going to be here, the least you could do is be here,” you say quietly, looking down at the gem in your hand. It sparkles a little in the light.
Thankfully, he doesn’t ask you to explain. He takes a few slow steps forward until he’s standing beside you. It’s weird, having him this close again. You’d been too overwhelmed last night to actually observe, but now, you’re exhausted, yet alert. 
His hair is longer–as a teen, he’d kept it short, but the ends curl and sit just above his shoulders now. He’s filled out and put on some muscle, and though he’s still a little on the lankier side, his shoulders have broadened. He wears cologne now, the scent light, like lavender, citrus, and sage. So much has changed, and yet it’s the same eyes that watch you with a soft curiosity.
You look up to the tree, watch its branches wave in the wind. You used to think that the centenarian boughs touched the sky, and even still, it towers above everything else in the park. The leaves sparkle, their iridescence catching the light to make the tree look like something out of a fairy tale. You sigh and tighten your fist around your parents’ bond gem one more time before opening your hand.
At first, nothing happens, but then the gem glistens and rises out of your grasp. It joins the other leaves close to the top of the tree, becoming just another sparkle in the prism. 
For a while, not even the birds make a noise. You just stand there, looking up at the tree that has stood sentinel over most of your life. The wind rustles the leaves, and they shimmer as they move. You have no idea how many leaves are up there, how many bond gems have been placed over time. Thousands–maybe hundreds of thousands–of witches and their familiars, most forgotten to the annals of time.
It’s strange, knowing that you would never be memorialized by the tree.
“Let me buy you a coffee,” Yoongi whispers from beside you, husky baritone cutting through the silence.
Yoongi isn’t sure why you say yes, but soon enough, you’re walking into the Green Bean just behind him. He’s uncomfortable, people have been watching you since the park, and their stares are starting to burn holes in his back. He says nothing about it until you’re in line at the cafe.
“What are they staring at?” he whispers, leaning close so that only you can hear in the semi-busy cafe. He chooses to ignore how you tense up ever so slightly.
“You’ve been gone for 12 years, what did you expect?”
Right. He supposes he should have expected their animosity. But it’s not just him they’re watching. He doesn’t miss the way people stare at you, watch you warily as you simply exist. His mind races. Was that his fault? Did his absence cause so many unintended consequences?
You order a coffee and choose a table in the far corner of the cafe, away from everyone but still near the window. He sits in the chair across from you, the hard metal shockingly comfortable despite its harsh lines. An awkward silence settles over you both, but Yoongi’s not sure what to say, so he lets it linger. He watches you stare out the window. Which is a little weird, right? But he can’t bring himself to drag his gaze away. It’s like after 12 years of being away, he just wants to look at you.
The barista calls out your orders and Yoongi stands to grab both of them from the counter. He places one oversized ceramic mug down in front of you, and the other, he wraps his hands around. It’s warm, almost hot, and he dares not take a drink yet. You stare down at the foam on top of your drink, one finger hooked around the handle of the cup.
“What happened to them?” he asks softly. When you look up, surprised, he clarifies. “Your parents, I mean. I… didn’t hear how they…”
You sigh, tap your mug. He can sense the deep sadness you struggle with and is just about to tell you to forget he asked when you speak. “I always kind of thought it would be dad who’d go first.” Your voice is barely above a whisper. “He was always so frail when we were kids. But mom got sick last year and…” You shrug. “One of the neighbors found them.”
“I’m so sorry.” You wave him off. “No. Honestly. They were nice.”
“Thanks.”
He nods, and silence settles again. But then something you said pops into his mind, striking him as strange. “You aren’t living here anymore?” Mentally, he slaps himself. Why did it come out like he’s surprised? He supposes that he’s always just kind of pictured you still… here, in town.
“I’m over in Ashland,” you say, generally gesturing west, toward the city. “I work at the library at the university.”
“Yeah?” He raises his eyebrows. “How’s that?”
You shrug. “Mostly good. It’s a job. The library’s usually pretty quiet, so…”
“That’s really cool.”
Ashland is big, much bigger than here in square feet and at least 10 times the people. It’s a real city, with skyscrapers and functioning public transportation and one of the country’s top medical universities. He’s proud of you, he realizes. You’d always planned to leave for the city, too constrained by life in such a small town. For the longest time, he’d planned on going with you. And then, of course, he’d ruined it. It stings a little to know that you’d gone without him like that, that your life had continued as planned, that maybe he hadn’t meant that much in the grand scheme of things.
But then your eyes meet, and he’s confronted by the anxiety and sadness you’re feeling, and he knows he’s just being stupid. Again.
“So, uh…” He feels a wave of nerves wash over him–they aren’t his own. You tap your half-empty mug. “What have you been up to?”
If he’s honest, Yoongi wasn’t expecting you to ask about him. He’s shocked enough that you’d even agreed to be here, let alone that you were interested in his life. “I was traveling,” he starts cautiously, gauging your reaction. You blink slowly, watching his every move. If you can sense his apprehension, you don’t react. “But now I’m up north in Ulmae. I’ve got a pretty good thing going at this restaurant on the North Shore.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, uh…” He chuckles, a little nervous. “They’ve got me bartending on the weekends and let me do music during the week.”
Your eyes widen a little, and you lean forward. “They let you play?”
“It’s only like an hour a night-”
“No, shut up. That’s amazing!” You grin, big and genuine, but Yoongi can sense a tinge of sadness in it. 
He’s disappointed when you both finish your coffees and you stand up to put your cup in the little tub by the counter. It’s starting to get late, the sun is starting to set and the streetlights have turned on. It was nice, catching up with you, short though it may have been. It’s not lost on him how strange it is, having to catch up with someone that was once practically a part of him. 
Together, you stand outside in the chilly early evening air, looking down the street toward the park. Over the roofs of the shops and houses, Yoongi can just barely see the centinel tree with its sparkling leaves. People walk past–people he recognizes but couldn’t possibly name–some are more subtle about it, but others practically break their necks to stare at the two of you. Suddenly, Yoongi feels exposed outside the cafe, like there are eyes everywhere. He hates this, hates feeling like he’s doing something wrong just for wanting to talk to you more.
You sigh, scuff your shoe against the concrete of the sidewalk, shove your hands deep into the pockets of your dark jeans. “I… probably shouldn’t even ask,” you start warily. “But do you want to come back for a drink?”
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The house is the same, yet somehow also different, like one of those spot the difference puzzles come to life. The layout of the living room is the same, but the couch is a different style and color. There’s a blanket folded the same way under the coffee table, but it’s clearly a different pattern than he remembers. Most of the photos are the same, but there are 12 years’ worth of more of them. 
Apparently, the stash of alcohol your father kept in the built in cabinet beside the television hasn’t changed.
You pull out a bottle of whisky and two glasses, setting them on the coffee table with a gentle ‘clink.” The shoebox he’d given you sits on the floor. The lid is off, the letters contained within are a mess. Have you read them, or did they spill out? There’s no way for him to really know. 
Silently, you hand him a glass and sit on the other side of the couch, grabbing one of the throw pillows to hug in your lap. You sip at the double in your glass stoically, and for a moment, you stare at him. He has to resist the urge to squirm under your gaze. There’s something different about how you’re sitting, something in your aura that he didn’t notice in the cafe. Maybe you’d been saving it for private, but he can sense that you’re reining your emotions in. 
But then finally, after what feels like an eternity, you turn over your hand. Two pieces of paper sit in your palm. “I’m going to need you to explain these.” The two letters float over to him and open themselves in front of him.
The first is dated only a few years after he’d left.
I’ve been struck by a thought. I had tacos earlier, and I just know you would have loved them. Which made me realize that there’s still part of me that thinks about you at every turn. Your friendship was such an integral part of my life, and not having it anymore feels like there’s a piece missing. Last week it was a song on the radio. Before that, a stray cat I saw that I know for certain you would have loved. Everything reminds me of you, everything leads back to you. You’re everywhere and nowhere, and…
I would like to see you again. Someday. 
How have you been doing? Where has your life taken you? I can only hope it’s treated you kindly. It’s what you deserve.
The other is from the day he turned 25.
A quarter of a century, and for some reason I feel incredibly old. With it comes some realizations, things I didn’t understand before. Maybe I was too young, too blinded by my own need to feel free… but it never was about being free from you. I can’t even begin to imagine how hurtful it must have been for you…
I never wanted to make you feel like I was giving up on you, like I didn’t want you. I never wanted to make you feel rejected, because it wasn’t you I was trying to be free from.
I was so scared of having my whole life laid out in front of me. I never took the time to think what my life could be with the bond–I only ever thought about what the bond meant for my life. All of the expectations, what comes with being a familiar, our roles in society and the universe…
I realize now that I could have–should have–communicated it all better. If only so that I wouldn’t have lost you. So that it wouldn’t have led to me making you feel like I was rejecting you. Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered; at the end of the day I was still walking away from you. But at least maybe I could have made it more clear that it was never you that I wanted to be free from.
I’m sorry. I feel like it’s useless to say, but I am so sorry for not realizing any of this before.
Wherever you are, I hope you’ll understand. Take care until I see you again.
I hope I see you again.
Yoongi sighs. The letters–all of them, not just these two–tended to be rambling diatribes, a snapshot of his thoughts as he worked through his feelings about his own life and everything and you. He’d been an idiot when he left–he was 17 and full of himself and terrified of the world but too proud to admit it–and it had taken him far too long to realize a lot of important things.
For a moment, it’s quiet as he thinks of what to say. How should he even begin? But apparently, he’s quiet for too long, because you wave your hand and the letters fold themselves back up and float back down to the shoebox. When you speak, you sound exhausted. “Why are you here, Yoongi?”
“I-”
“Because if the roles were reversed, I don’t know that I’d have the balls to come back. On one hand, I’m impressed. On the other…” You trail off and shrug.
He’s quiet, not sure how to respond. He’s got lots of thoughts, lots of feelings–of course he does–but right now, you’re a wall, and he’s not sure how to read the situation. He’s not sure what you need to hear right now. So he says nothing.
You laugh, but there’s no humor in it, and you look down at the glass in your hand, stare into the dregs of the amber whisky you’ve nearly finished. “I’m running on like two hours’ sleep,” you admit. “But fuck, Yoongi, I… I was so convinced that I’d never see you again. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.” Then, softer. “I’m still not sure.”
“Why?” It’s out of his mouth before he can even think and god, he just wants the Earth to open up and swallow him whole.
It takes a second for you to process his absolute trash heap of an asinine question. But when you do, your face contorts into somewhere between anger, disappointment, and heartbreak. “What do you mean, ‘why’?” You practically spit the question at him. “You… you… Do you know what it’s like to have the most important person in your life tell you that he wants rid of you?”
“I never said-”
“You wanted to be free. From all of it. From me.” You pick at the corner of the pillow in your lap. “And then you just come back out of the blue like nothing happened and drop this damn shoebox at my feet-” from where it sits on the floor, the shoebox explodes, letters flying everywhere, “-and you just… What did you expect, Yoongi? What do you want?”
“I don’t know!” He sounds a little desperate when he says it, and he hates that, hates how pathetic it makes him sound. So he shrugs, takes a deep breath, leans back a little. “I don’t know,” he repeats. “I just… I missed you. And then mom told me about your parents, and…” He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead and out of his eyes. “And then I was on a train.”
You stare at him for a moment, a little gobsmacked. You have no idea how to respond. What do you say to that? Where do you even start? There are a hundred things you could say. You’ve played this scenario out a thousand times in your head over the years–what would you do if he came back?–but somehow, it never played out like this. In your mind, he’d never told you that he missed you.
You’d never considered that he would miss you.
But you should say something, right? It’s weird that you’re sitting there, just staring at him in complete silence. Has your jaw been clenched the whole time? Does he think you’re angry with him? Quickly, you school your face into something a little more neutral and say the first thing that comes to mind.
“How long are you here for?”
Truthfully, you probably should have asked sooner. You’ve been wondering since he showed up on your doorstep last night, but it never seemed like a great time to ask.
He sighs. “‘Till tomorrow.”
You nod, probably longer than it makes sense to, but it takes you a bit to process. Tomorrow. He’s back in your life for two days, and then he’s gone again. That’s not even enough time to catch up, let alone actually talk with him. And that’s… you aren’t sure how to feel. 
Yoongi watches you quietly and takes a sip of his drink. He’s barely touched it. “Maybe…” he says after a moment, leaning forward to put his glass on the coffee table. “Maybe I should go?”
Part of you wants to tell him no, to ask him to stay, to tell you more about his gig working at the bar. Anything to keep him here and talking to you. But there’s a more logical part of you that’s overwhelmed, that needs some time to think. He’s offering to go, which means that he’s either uncomfortable or his train leaves early in the morning. Or both. He stands, thanks you for the drink, and you follow him to the door. He hesitates just outside, opens his mouth as if to say something and closes it almost as quickly.
You say nothing. And for the second time in as many days, you watch him leave without another word.
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The playground was almost empty. Mama said it was supposed to rain, but she’d also said that you would go anyway, for a little bit. You were trying to learn how to swing on your own, and plus Yoongi and his mom were going to be there, and he’d said he’d bring his trucks to play in the sand. 
But he wasn’t there yet, so you were on the swing. Mama pushed you, her hand firm on your back, and you closed your eyes. You were flying, wind in your face as you launched forward into the air. And then, just as suddenly, you were falling, swinging backward.
“Remember what I said,” mama said softly. “Kick your legs.”
You weren’t quite sure what she meant by that. Your legs were little, and when you kicked out, you felt more like you were going to slide out of the swing seat than anything. You heard her laugh a little, but her hand was on your back once again, propelling you forward. 
A few minutes passed in a blur of forwards and backwards. You still didn’t quite understand the whole swinging on your own thing, but mama’s rhythmic pushes kept you going. But then, a small voice at the edge of the playground yelled your name, and you heard excited footsteps in the wood chips. Mama helped you slow to a stop, and you jumped off the swing.
A little boy, his dark hair cut short by his own mom, ran toward you. He was carrying an armful of small cars and larger trucks. He skidded to a stop in front of you, a wide, gummy grin engulfing his face and crinkling the corners of his eyes.
“I brought all my trucks!” he announced, looking down at the toys in his arms. “You can be the green one. Here.” He tried to hand it to you, and another fell in the process.
You picked it up and took the green truck from him. It was bright green–the same shade as the lime popsicles Yoongi’s mom usually bought–and it had big wheels. You followed him to the sandbox and you both plopped down. It didn’t take long to have a whole city constructed. Granted, it was all made from rocks and wood chips and other small things you found around the sandbox. But it was a city and it was beautiful.
Yoongi drove his truck over a bump, making engine noises as he pushed it toward you. As he drove the truck down another sand hill, bumping and bouncing it over sticks and rocks, something fell out of the sleeve of his jacket. It was perfectly round, and it rolled to a stop in front of you. You picked it up and inspected it. It was some kind of rock, hard and shiny, but it was also colorful, and you were pretty sure rocks couldn’t be blue. 
One look at the rock and he frowned, calling for his mom. She came over immediately and crouched down to see what he was so concerned about. Your mama followed her, and she was the one that saw the rock in your hand first.
“Oh,” she said, her hand gently smoothing down your hair. “You two have found your gem.”
“Wha’s that mean?” Yoongi asked, looking up at his mom. 
She smiled and sat in the sand beside him, pulling him into her lap. She held out her arm, twisted her bracelet around so that he could see it. “You know how I have this from your dad? It’s like that.”
“But-”
“Your friendship is special,” she continued, pinching his cheek. Yoongi laughed. “It means you’ve gotta look out for each other now.”
For a moment, he was quiet. But then he nodded, just once. “Okay!” He held out his hand to you, tiny palm face up. “Can I have it?”
“It’s not yours anymore,” his mom said softly, brushing his short hair back. “It’s a gift.”
You looked to your mama and she nodded. “Take care of it,” she told you. “You only get one.”
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Middle school was the worst. Everything was difficult. Social situations, interactions with your parents, school. At the time, it all seemed like it was unfairly hard. Making it worse, of course, was getting sick. As a kid, you were never sick that often. Yoongi was a different story. For whatever reason, familiars were just more susceptible to illness, and when he got sick, he got sick. 
It was the middle of the semester, and Yoongi hadn’t been to school in days. Your teachers hadn’t even asked, they’d just started giving you packets–homework and printouts of their lessons and extra materials–so he wouldn’t fall behind. So you stopped by his house after school. His mom let you in, offering you some of the snacks she was making for Yoongi before you headed up the stairs to his room. 
You knocked gently before entering. The knock was a politeness–you were close enough with him and familiar enough with his room at this point in your life that you could just barge in without warning and you knew he wouldn’t mind. He looked like hell, stuck in his bed buried in blankets. It was clear he’d had a fever at some point, because his hair looked damp and sweaty. 
But he sat up when you walked in, coughing deeply before speaking. “You’re going to get sick, too,” he protested weakly. 
You waved him off. “Everyone’s sick.” You pulled over his desk chair to the side of his bed and started to go through your bag. “Ms. Miller gave me your math homework, but if you understand it, you’ll have to explain it to me because I have no idea what she’s talking about.” He giggled at that, gummy smile soon hidden by his hand as he coughed. “Here’s the novel for Brown’s class. She said she’d talk to you about making up the paper when you’re back.”
It took a surprisingly long time to go through eight classes’ worth of homework and assignments, but you’d put sticky notes at the front of each packet explaining things, too, so the fact that he was half-asleep for most of your explanation didn’t really matter. 
“Will you stay?” he asked when you were done. “Help me with some of this?”
“What happened to not wanting me to get sick?” you teased.
“I mean, you don’t have to. If you want to go home, that’s fine, too. I just-” He coughed, burying his face in his blankets. 
“You staying for dinner, hon?” Yoongi’s mom called from the bottom of the stairs.
“Yes please!” you responded, shuffling through the stack of packets you’d brought for Yoongi. “Wanna take a stab at math?”
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Halfway through the fall of your senior year, Yoongi started to get… weird. Cagey. Like he was trying to hide something and figure out particle physics at the same time. You’d tried asking him about it a few times, only for him to wave you off with a quiet “just thinking about some things.” After that, he’d be back to normal for a few days. But every time, like clockwork, he would fall back into it.
Finally, on the third day of the new year, he pulled you aside. Tucked back into the dormant foliage of the park, away from prying eyes, he stood, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He was nervous, you could feel it deep inside you, but to be honest, you didn’t really need your bond to tell you what was plain to see. 
“I…” He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. His brows furrowed in thought, and after a moment, he motioned for you to sit. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay?” You sat on the edge of a big rock, confused.
“I…” he started again, sitting beside you. You could feel a spike of nerves, and he took a breath to steady himself. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I think… fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be.”
“You can just say it,” you told him. “It’s just me.”
He nodded and mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘that’s the problem,’ but after a moment, he continued. “I need to be free of all of this.”
“What?”
“Haven’t you ever thought that maybe the universe doesn’t know what it’s talking about? That maybe you’d be happier if you chose things for yourself?” He frowned. “There’s rules for gifts. We’re only good at certain types of magic because of how we were born. We have to celebrate holidays certain ways, we have to do specific things on our birthdays-”
“-and we get told who we’re to bond to.”
He recoiled at your words. “That’s not-”
“But it’s true, right?” Your gaze fell from him to your hands. “It’s just one more thing you don’t get to control.”
Yoongi sighed. “I just… want to be able to choose for myself.”
Suddenly, you were sick to your stomach. This was the last thing you’d expected. You didn’t particularly like all of the traditions, either, but you were 17. What the hell were you going to do about it? But this felt like he was saying he didn’t want you. You hadn’t yet talked about the kiss at the night market a few weeks prior, but you’d never guessed that he’d do such a sudden about-face. 
“Right,” you said softly.
“Just… think about it?” he asked, dark eyes pleading. 
You didn’t like where this was going, didn’t like how it made you feel. But you nodded anyway. Maybe he would change his mind.
Days gave way to weeks and months, and before you knew it, spring had come. Yoongi hadn’t changed his mind. If anything, he’d gotten more insistent. 
“I want to find myself,” he’d told you once. “I need to make sure this is how I want to live my life.”
“I just need to get away,” he’d said one day while you were doing homework together. “Start fresh somewhere new.”
And then, on the way home from school one day, he’d said, “I need to be free of it all.” 
And you’d snapped. Three months of hearing him talk about it, three months of him basically saying that your entire way of life was wrong and that he was chafing to get away. You couldn’t help it.
“Fuck off,” you’d told him, taking the trail behind the houses at a faster pace. Despite being so attuned with nature thanks to his familiar genes, he’d had trouble keeping up with you.
“Would you slow down?” You could hear the frustration in Yoongi’s voice as he followed you. You ignored him. “Goddamnit,” he breathed, picking up his pace. “Will you at least listen to me?”
He’d pushed. And eventually, you’d given in. Because despite everything, you’d loved him, and if he was unhappy, you wanted to fix that. And now…
Now you’re sitting alone at the train station at ass o’clock in the morning. The train station has just barely opened, and already you’re inside, clutching a cup of coffee. There are a few other people here, milling around, waiting for their early trains to god knows where. You can feel them watching you, can feel them trying to make it subtle that they’re staring. At this point, you’re used to it. Word travels fast in small towns, especially when that word is as earth-shattering as a broken bond gem and a falling out between a witch and their familiar. 
You try to ignore them, focus on your coffee and the posters across the waiting area from you. 
Report any unattended or suspicious luggage to National Rail personnel.
Bags larger than this poster must be checked into the train’s luggage car.
Please remain seated until your train is announced and National Rail personnel give authorization to enter the platform.
You scroll through the news on your phone. Read the posters again. Stare out the window at the coffee shop across the street. And wait. A train arrives, and the couple that had been staring at you leaves. You sigh and stand to throw out your now empty cup.
Just as you do, the door to the train station opens. You turn to look, and there stands Yoongi. He’s wearing a black shirt, a bag slung across his body. His hair is pushed back off his face and he’s wearing his glasses. He’s clutching an absolutely massive travel mug and his phone in one hand, the other rolls a small suitcase behind him. He looks sleepy, but the second his dark eyes land on you, he jolts a little, as if electrocuted into being awake and alert.
“Hey,” he says cautiously, approaching you.
“Hey.” You wave slightly–awkwardly.
“What are you doing here?” His voice is soft, still a little gruff from sleep. You get the sense that maybe he hasn’t said much of anything to anyone this morning.
You sigh and gesture for him to follow you to a bench. The next train–his, you presume–isn’t due for another 20 minutes. You have time, but not much.
“I didn’t like how we left things,” you admit. “I… I wasn't sure if you were serious.”
“Serious?” His head falls to the side slightly, confused. But then, it seems, he understands, and he nods. “I did miss you–I do. I spent the entire ride here thinking about how seeing you again was going to go.”
“Were you right?”
He chuckles. “Not exactly.”
You hum and nod, and for the briefest of moments, silence settles over you. The stationmaster types away at his computer, the clacking of the keyboard the only sound in the entire station. But then you force yourself to say something that’s been on your mind since he showed up on your doorstep two days ago.
“It’s been good seeing you again,” you say, and even though you mean it, you can’t bring yourself to look at him. “I… think in a way, after so long, I made you the villain in my head. It’s good to see that you’re… not that.”
“I am sorry,” he whispers. “That was the worst thing I have ever done, and I just…”
“I get it.”
“What?”
“I think I kind of always did, but… it just hurt too much to think that you were including me in everything that you wanted to get away from, and I just-”
“You were the last thing I wanted to get away from.” Maybe it’s the waver in his voice, maybe it’s the way he ducks his head to make sure he makes eye contact, but you believe him. He sits his mug down on the bench beside him and gathers your hands in his. “I was so fucking dumb. I would have taken you with me in a heartbeat, but god I was too stupid and selfish to take ten minutes to think.”
“I thought maybe I’d done something,” you admit quietly. “I thought that maybe after the night market-”
“No! Oh my god, no,” he exclaims, his hands tightening around your own. “You’re my best friend! I lo-”
“Train 49–the Northern Limited–will be arriving on the platform in five minutes,” the stationmaster announces, not even bothering to use the building’s intercom. “I’ll take you over to the platform when you’re ready.”
Yoongi groans.
“Here.” You pull your hands away from him and immediately miss the warmth of him. But you reach into your pocket, unlocking your phone and shoving it into his hands in one motion. “Put your number in.”
For a moment, he stares at you, dumbfounded. But then the stationmaster opens the door to his office, and the noise jolts Yoongi into action. He types quickly and hands you your phone. You don’t even look at it, just lock it and shove it into your pocket. He hands you his phone and you enter your own contact information before giving it back.
You stand at the same time, and for one brief, quiet moment, you worry that maybe he’s just going to leave it at that. But then he rubs the back of his neck and glances toward the stationmaster.
“I’ll text you,” he promises.
You nod, almost mechanically. You weren’t expecting it to hurt this much to see him leave again. As he turns to gather his things, something comes over you.
“I- Can we-” You sigh, take a deep breath. “Can I have a hug?”
He makes a noise somewhere between a hum and a squeak, and it takes almost no time for the pink to start blossoming on his cheeks. He sputters for a second, and you can feel his shock. But then he opens his arms, and you find yourself taking a small step forward.
It’s shockingly easy to fall back into him, to step into his arms. He’s warm, and solid, but still also somehow soft. His cologne lingers on his clothes, all lavender-y and citrus-y and sage-y. Your arms fit around his waist, and for a moment, you let yourself pretend that this is normal, that nothing ever happened and that he isn’t leaving. But you hear the train horn in the distance and you pull away. You kiss his cheek as you part, and his eyes go wide in shock.
“Text me,” you tell him firmly, reaching down to grab his coffee mug and hand it to him.
“I will. I promise.”
And with one last, fleeting look, he steps onto the elevator with the stationmaster to go over to the platform. 
You stand outside the station long after the train departs, feeling very much like you did when he’d left the first time. You should be feeling optimistic–for the first time in a long time, you feel like maybe there’s hope. For you, for your friendship, for… whatever comes next. But it’s hard to feel any sort of positive when he’s on a train back to a city seven hours away, and you have to go home in the exact opposite direction in a few short days.
As you’re walking back to your car in the lot down the street, your phone dings. When you unlock it, you get the sudden feeling that you’re flying, like a horde of butterflies have erupted within you. It’s nerves and it’s excitement and maybe, it’s also a little bit of hope.
Yoongi 💙: thanks again for not turning me into a bug
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“I’ve been thinking,” Yoongi says one late night, his deep, sleep-deprived voice distorted ever so slightly by the distance and the speakers of your phone. You can barely see him–there’s a dim light that just slightly illuminates his face, but the rest of the room is dark.
“Dangerous,” you joke.
“Rude.” He nuzzles down further into his pillow. “I’d like to come visit,” he admits softly.
For a moment, your mind goes blank. There’s a fluttering in your stomach, hundreds of butterflies trying to escape at once. He’d kept his word after the train station, texting and calling you frequently over the past couple weeks. You’d text throughout the week–little messages about bad days and delicious lunches and cute dogs–and then on the weekends, one of you would inevitably end up calling each other. You’d spend hours on the phone, sometimes talking, sometimes just existing in the silence between you. 
The video calls were a recent development. Since they began, you’d watched him cook dinner, he’d played piano while you worked on a spreadsheet for work, and one early morning, he’d called you on his way home after bartending so he wouldn’t fall asleep on the train.
“What do you mean?” You laugh a little. Maybe it was a little obvious what he meant, but you wanted to hear him say it.
He groans a little, stretches one arm up before covering his eyes with it. He peeks out at you through the cook in his elbow, one singular, dark eye sparkling, even in the poor quality of the video. “I miss you,” he mumbles, and you almost don’t catch it, it’s so muffled by his arm and your phone’s speaker.
You hum. The butterflies in your stomach make themselves known again. “I guess you could come.”
“I don’t have to if you don’t want me to.”
“Hey now. It’s against the rules to take something like that back.”
He laughs. “What rules?”
“You know. The rules.” You gesture vaguely before pulling your blanket up a little further on your body. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the rules?” He grunts. “Being away for so long has rotted your brain, I’m afraid.”
“So rude.” His arm is still obscuring his face slightly, but you can see his big, gummy smile as he laughs. “No, but seriously. Are you busy next weekend?”
You frown. You’d been trying to forget about next weekend. “Normally I’d go home for the new year,” you say softly.
“Why don’t,” he begins, stifling a yawn. You’re a little surprised he’s made it this long without seeming tired. It’s almost 3am. “Why don’t I come hang out? We can do new year’s stuff together.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course.”
“What about work?”
He shifts, the arm that was over his face now supporting his head under his pillow. “I make the schedule. They’ll deal with it.”
“Yoongi.”
He continues on, ignoring you. “I can work the day shift and get a train right after work on Friday, but I wouldn’t get there until late, is that okay?”
You sigh. It would be nice to not spend the holiday alone. And it would be nice to see him again. Sure, you’ve been talking to him in one way or another, but it’s different than having him in person. You finally agree, and he shoots you a smug, sleepy smile.
The week passes at a glacial pace. Work is slow because of the break in classes for the upcoming holiday, and spending time in an empty library is infinitely less entertaining than you’d expect it to be. Most of your coworkers have taken off, so you’re mostly alone with your thoughts. You fill the time with paperwork, completing literature loan requests for the University’s faculty and doing intake for the newly released journals the library has subscriptions for. 
In the small handful of weeks since you’d seen him last, you’d replayed things in your mind. But mostly, you’ve been stuck on how nice it is to have him in your life again. You aren’t fooling yourself. You haven’t forgotten. But there’s a part of you–a large part, if you’re honest with yourself–that hopes that this is a step forward, that you can be close again. Maybe not how you were, but something that resembles a friendship.
After an eternity, it’s Friday. You sit outside of the train station in your car, parked in one of the pick up spots just outside of the main door. The trickle of people into and out of the station has slowed significantly now that it’s dark out–you’ve never seen it this dead. It’s late, the station is getting ready to close, but there’s one last train that has yet to come in. There’s another car parked a few spaces to your left, and you wonder briefly about who they’re waiting to pick up, but it’s fleeting. 
The door to the station opens automatically, and out steps Yoongi. He rolls a suitcase beside him, a messenger bag slung across his body, his other hand shoved deep into his hoodie pocket. He looks around, confused, his gaze going back and forth between your car and the one to your left. You turn on the dome light and wave and he nods.
He gives you a quick greeting as he opens the back door, shoving his bags in the back seat. When he finally climbs into the passenger seat, he sighs deeply, resting his head against the headrest for a moment before turning to you.
“Hey,” he says softly.
“Hey. How was the train?”
He groans. “Long.”
You hum. He’d worked a short, early shift so he could catch the last train from Ulmae to Ashland. He looks and sounds exhausted. But he’s here. He’s not a face on a screen, he’s in your car. You resist the urge to reach out and touch him. It’s strange. You’d been without him for nearly 13 years. It’s only been a few short weeks since you’d seen him last, but you’re giddy, practically bursting with excitement at the fact that, for the next two and a half days, he’s here. With you.
You drive in relative silence, willing the lights to be green more for Yoongi’s sake than your own. The radio plays a soft hip-hop song, and you vaguely recognize it as one of the bands he’d been obsessed with in high school, but you don’t turn it up. You’re fairly certain that he’s fallen asleep, his head lolled slightly to the side so that he’s facing the window.
It’s a damn miracle that there’s an open spot in front of your building, but you gladly take it. There are people in your building who don’t know how to parallel park—who refuse to do it—but you’d taught yourself just for instances like this. For a moment, you think you’re going to have to wake Yoongi up, but just as you cut the engine, he unbuckles his seat belt and stretches.
Your apartment isn’t large, but it’s bigger than most for what you pay for it. You’re on the seventh floor, the top floor of the building, and your bedroom has a lovely view of the building beside you. But if you lean a little to one side and press your face up against the glass, you can see out into the city beyond, and the university campus in the far distance.
He sits his bags down in your living room and plops down on the couch. You’ve already set out some blankets and a couple pillows for him. The clock on your microwave says 11:05.
“You’re probably exhausted,” you say. “I’ll let you get settled.”
Immediately, he picks his head up from the back cushion of the couch. “’m not tired.” Ever defiant. But you can tell he’s lying. You can see it in his eyes how groggy he is. Normally, he’s up much later than this–you know, because sometimes, he calls you–but between working an early shift and the six-hour train ride, you don’t blame him for being a little sleepy.
“I put some towels out in the bathroom,” you tell him, gesturing down the hall. “It’s the door on the left. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks.”
And with that, you leave him there in your living room. You can hear him unzipping his bag as you retreat into your room.
An hour later, you find that you can’t sleep. Not that you’ve even tried. You aren’t even sure why you’re so wired. But you’re sitting in your bed, legs covered by a sheet, in the dim light of your bedside lamp. You’ve had friends stay over before. But this… you feel like you did as a kid, having your first sleepover. Except back then you were wired on soda and sugary snacks and it was a treat to stay up late. Now, you’re just…
You hear the bathroom door open and shut, and after a moment, Yoongi stands in the doorway to your room.
“You have the softest towels in the world,” he says, hair hanging in damp strands in front of his eyes. He pats and scrunches it dry with one of the fluffy grey towels you’d set out for him. 
“Would you believe I got them on clearance?”
“I’ll just have to stuff one in my bag, then.”
“I charge a 5% fee for any towels that leave the premises.”
At that, he laughs, a groggy, squeaky sound that shakes his shoulders and crinkles his eyes and leaves a wide, gummy smile in its wake.
“So… what’s the plan for tomorrow?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.” He shoots you a look that says he doesn’t believe you, and you relent. “Well,” you pat the bed beside you, inviting him to sit, “There’s this thing every year in the park to watch the meteors,” you say as Yoongi eases himself onto the mattress. “But it doesn’t start until late.” He hums. “Was there something you wanted to do?” 
“No, just-” He stifles a yawn. “Curious.” He leans back against the headboard, settling in.
Just like that, you fall easily into conversation. It’s comfortable, calm. Just two old friends chatting. He likes your apartment, thinks the tile in your bathroom is really nice. He asks about your job, nods along as you tell him about working in the library and your coworkers. 
And slowly, his reactions become slower, delayed, until he finally doesn’t respond at all. You look over, and his chin is tucked against his chest, his breathing gentle. Asleep.
For a moment, you consider going out to the couch. It would be weird, right, to stay here with him? But as you’re about to kick the blanket off, you pause. 
We’re adults. Adults can share a bed. It doesn’t have to mean anything. You’re mature enough to let this just be two people sleeping in the same space. 
At least, you think you are. 
But as you settle in yourself, snuggling down into your blankets and turning off the light, you’re suddenly faced with the quiet peacefulness of his face. He’d always been handsome, and now that you’re both older, you can appreciate just how beautiful he really is. He sighs and slides down a little, his hand brushing against your arm as he gets more comfortable. 
Oh no. 
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You sit on the floor of your living room, a box of pizza on the coffee table that you’ve shoved out of the way. Yoongi’s beside you, your backs against the couch as you watch some anime he’d been trying to convince you to watch back in high school. You’re three episodes in, and you don’t have the heart to tell him that you don’t really care for the basketball-themed show. Part of you is still afraid that if you say something wrong, he’ll be gone again. 
His arm rests casually behind you on the cushions, far enough away that it’s more a comfortable way to sit than any sort of advance, but that doesn’t stop the smallest of butterflies from making itself known in your stomach. This Yoongi is so different from the Yoongi you knew—the one who, as a kid, got excited by construction equipment and the concept of ice cream, and as a teen spent his free time hiding from his parents, playing the piano and hanging out with you (though neither were mutually exclusive). He’s quiet, comfortable in the silence, comfortable with letting things linger. 
You’re a little jealous of it, to be honest. 
Yoongi leans forward slightly, and a piece of pizza meets him halfway, floating gently into his grasp. “Do you remember,” he begins, settling back in against the couch, “when we were 16 and we went camping?” You hum an affirmative. “We spent most of the week playing old board games with my parents.”
You smile at the memory. If anyone had asked back then, you would have told them it was lame that you’d had to spend the whole time with Yoongi’s parents. But now? That was one of the more fun summers you’d ever had. “What made you think of that?”
He shrugs, mouth full of pizza. “I dunno. But I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. Things were so much simpler then…” 
You nod and hum softly, but ultimately, you say nothing. Much simpler indeed. 
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“You know,” Yoongi begins, zipping his coat up to his chin, “when you said ‘park’, I was kind of expecting it to be in the city.”
“I think technically it is.” You lock your car and meet him at the front of it.
“We drove for an hour!”
You shrug. “Big city.”
He laughs and shakes his head, incredulous. He can’t tell if you’re being serious or not, but there was a sign on the way in with the university logo on it, so he supposes that whether it’s part of the city or not, it doesn’t really matter. There’s a well-lit trail that runs from the shale parking lot up a hill slightly to a clearing that overlooks the city and the rest of the park. It’s busy–people mill about around the parking lot, and he can see a steady stream of visitors on the trail up to the clearing. 
He adjusts his coat–it’s cold, and both his shoulder and his senses ache with the impending snow–and when he’s ready, the two of you start walking toward the trail. It’s astonishingly busy, and as you weave your way through the crowd, leading him up the hill, he grabs your hand. 
So we don’t get separated, he tells himself. For a moment, he expects you to pull away. Not maliciously, he’s not expecting you to scoff and throw his hand away. But what he isn’t expecting is for you to tighten your grip on him and tug him this way and that as you get closer to the clearing. His hand is warm where your skin touches his, like he’s holding a candle a little too close to the flame.
The clearing is massive, mostly flat but not entirely, with gentle rolling slopes that provide some extra elevation here and there. On one of the little hills, a few food trucks are set up, though how they got there, Yoongi isn’t really sure. Someone must have magicked them through the path or up the hill or something. There are picnic tables scattered around, mostly near the food trucks, but throughout the clearing, as well. Towards the edge of the clearing, there’s a cliff with an overlook that has a spectacular view of the city vista below. People are everywhere. Of course, there are a lot of college-aged kids hanging out in big and small groups. But there’s also a shocking amount of people that are Yoongi’s age and older–professors, he assumes, and university staff here to enjoy the evening. Almost all of them are holding drinks, and just about every one of them seems to be paired with someone.
It’s subtle sometimes, seeing bonded witches and familiars. Of course, the ones who are romantically involved tend to be more obvious, but the ones that are just friends are just as easy to spot once you know what to look for. It’s the people who stand so close together they’re almost touching, the ones who lean in a little extra close to whisper something. And the clearing is full of pairs standing in each other’s personal spaces.
You tug on his hand to direct him off to the left and he blindly follows, squeezing your fingers ever so gently as a response. 
There’s a pair of people at one of the tables by the food trucks. They spot you almost immediately, and one of them stands to greet you. He’s a little taller than you are, made even more obvious when he gives you an awkward, one-armed hug over the picnic table’s bench. The other one–a woman–remains seated, eyeing Yoongi.
For a hot minute, it’s weird, as he stands there in silence while you chat with the man and woman. It’s not even the side-eye that the woman’s shooting him. The man is handsome–Yoongi’s not blind–and you are friendly with him. But there’s a moment, the briefest of moments, where you gesture somewhere off to your left. And when your body moves, Yoongi’s arm moves, too, and a little part of him, a silly, childish, hopeful part, soars.
You’re still holding his hand.
Eventually, you introduce him to the two. Alice works the reference desk in your library while she’s doing a doctorate program in linguistics. Her partner is gone in the winter, fighting fires in the far south. Despite her harsh side-eye, she greets Yoongi with a smile and a polite handshake. Jihwan, on the other hand, is the head baseball coach at the university. How the two of you met, Yoongi can only guess, but you make no mention of Jihwan’s partner, and Yoongi doesn’t see a gem anywhere. He almost–almost–starts to feel bad for the guy, but then he opens his mouth.
You ask a simple question, gesturing with your head to the food trucks. “What do they have good?”
“The pierogi guy from last year is back-”
Jihwan interrupts Alice. “Too much butter.”
It’s not even what he says. It’s how he says it. Like you and Alice are toddlers, like you can’t be trusted not to drown yourselves in carbs. But you roll your eyes and Alice scoffs playfully, and Yoongi realizes that this is not the first time Jihwan has done something like this. And suddenly, Yoongi hates this guy. 
“Apparently, he’s got a new flavor this year,” Alice says, continuing like Jihwan never interrupted. “But the taco guy is also back-”
“Is the popcorn guy back?” you ask. laughing. “Because I kind of want a front-row seat to that.” Yoongi must look confused, because you explain. “Pierogi guy’s daughter was engaged to taco guy’s daughter. But last year, pierogi guy and taco guy just started yelling at each other-”
“-It was amazing,” Alice adds.
“It was ridiculous,” Jihwan mumbles.
You push him.  “It was a little like having our own little telenovela here.”
Cautiously, Yoongi asks, “Why were they fighting?”
“No one knows.” You shrug. “But it launched a campus-wide food war. Everyone was choosing sides. It was like the year the Moondance tried to change its logo.”
Jihwan and Alice look at you, a little confused. But Yoongi knows exactly what you’re talking about. Somewhere around when you were preteens, the owners of the Moondance diner decided that its logo was outdated and wanted to update it. The whole town had been in an uproar, whole neighborhoods entering into a Cold War-esque stand-off over their preferences. People who had been friends for 50 years were suddenly in an unsolvable, unending argument. All over a color palette swap and a slightly newer font. Yoongi hadn’t cared much one way or the other–all businesses change their logos at some point, right?–and he always suspected that you didn’t either, but you’d both gotten swept up in the chaos of it all. It was stupid, ridiculous fun, and he’s pretty sure that his parents still have the buttons you’d made somewhere in their house.
You finally let go of Yoongi’s hand when you’re standing in line at the taco truck, and he’s painfully aware of how empty it feels now. You don’t go far, though, standing close enough that your elbow brushes against his every once in a while. You’re scrolling through your phone, reading some news article to pass the time. It’s gotten darker since you’ve been there, and looking up, he can just barely make out a couple pinpricks of stars in the sky. The clearing is fairly bright, with little flickering balls of light criss-crossing the space like bistro lighting, and the lights from the city below don’t help to make the night sky visible. 
You pay for his tacos–”I get an employee discount,” you say, brandishing your university id like it’s a black card–and Yoongi doesn’t think that you were in line that long, but when you return to the table, Alice and Jihwan are gone. 
“Where’d-” He’s not even asked the question, but you’re already shrugging.
“Alice’s probably off calling her fiance,” you say it like you’re back in high school, all singsong-y and mockingly, “and who knows where Jihwan got to. Probably trying to take someone home tonight.”
“He seems…”
You sigh. “Yeah.”
“How’d you meet him?”
A pang of… something hits him. Your expression falls, ever so slightly, and he regrets asking. But after a brief moment, you clear your throat. “He and I are the only two on campus without gems.”
Oh. 
Well.
That makes sense.
“So they…”
You pick a piece of red cabbage off your taco and eat it. “Yeah, they know.”
Which explains Alice’s side-eye earlier. The weird emotion he’d gotten from you is gone now, and you seem to have just brushed right past the awkward feelings. 
He hums, not really sure what to say. What’s there to say? So instead of saying anything dumb, he does the safe thing. He changes the subject.
“No wonder they didn’t kick the taco guy out of the festival this year.” He takes another bite of his taco. “This is the best al pastor I’ve ever had.”
“His chimichangas are amazing, but he only makes them on special days.”
“More special than…?” He gestures vaguely. Around you, the lights have started to dim. Yoongi isn’t really sure when that started, but things are definitely less bright.
You laugh, and something inside of him warms.
He hasn’t even finished his tacos yet, but the vibe in the clearing starts to dramatically change. The crowd gathers tighter, a palpable buzz in the air. Alice has returned and stands alone near the head of the table. She’s looking up at the sky, and when Yoongi looks up, he sees why. There’s an aurora in the sky, gentle waves of effervescent greens and blues swirling through the heavens, just like the night market all those years ago. It has to be magic of some sort–the city isn’t far enough north for it to be natural–but he can’t tell who’s doing it.
A hand on his shoulder pulls his focus back to the ground. You’re there behind him, bathed in the dim glow of the floating lights around you. By now, it’s almost dark, but even in the low light and deep shadows, you’re beautiful. 
“Come on,” you say softly. “Let’s get a good spot closer to the lookout.”
He follows you through the crowd, weaving around the bodies to get closer to the edge of the clearing. It’s tight, and you grab his hand so you don’t get separated. Normally, Yoongi isn’t a huge fan of crowds like this. You’re a small island in a sea of people, and he barely has room to turn in a circle without bumping into someone. You stand close–close enough that he can feel your warmth through the chill of the night.
The city spans the valley below, a forest of metal and windows and concrete. A bright spot in the middle of an otherwise dark night. But then, individually at first and then more, the buildings’ lights begin to flicker out.
“They’ve been doing this festival since before the city got public electricity,” you explain, answering his question before he could even ask. “It’s kind of a big deal.”
With the lights of the city mostly out, the stars above are much brighter. He can almost see them twinkling and winking as they burn, millions of billions of lightyears away. The night sky is beautiful, and his eyes drift around to locate the constellations he’d learned as a child. Almost immediately, he finds Perseus, right beside his wife Andromeda. You’d loved the myth of Perseus slaying Medusa when you were kids, and even though he hadn’t looked for the constellation in over a decade, finding it is still ingrained in him. 
He nudges you slightly, pointing up to the constellation. But just as he does, a pinprick of light streaks across the sky. You squeeze his hand as more streaks start to appear and the gathered crowd buzzes with ‘ooh’s and ‘aah’s. The meteors are all sizes. Big and bright. Small and thin. They aren’t constant, only a few show up every minute, but it’s beautiful to watch. 
There’s a strange sensation growing in his chest, something warm and fluttering and all-encompassing. You lean a little closer and the feeling grows. You must sense something–he’s never really been sure what his emotions feel like for you–because you look up at him. For a moment, you look confused.
Yoongi isn’t really sure how it happens, but what he does know is that suddenly, your face is centimeters from his own. He thinks that maybe someone bumped you and you took a step closer, but maybe that’s just his brain trying to fill in the gaps. He also knows that he’s the one that closes the space between you, leans in and brushes his lips against yours. It’s quick, a little impulsive, and truthfully, it feels a little forbidden. 
He pulls away, not far enough to make it seem like he’s made a mistake, but enough that it gives you an out, if you want it. His brain starts making all these calculations–what he should do if you back away, what he should do if you slap him, what if you don’t react.
But then you whisper, “Why’d you stop?” and your hand slides up his chest to grip the lapel of his coat. You tug with a surprising amount of force, and when your lips connect, he feels himself soaring. 
His entire world narrows to the points where your bodies connect. The firm touch of your knuckles against his shirt, the way your leg presses against his, but mostly the heat from your lips as he deepens the kiss. You fit against him perfectly, as if you were made for each other. He’d only kissed you that one time, but somehow, he’d missed it, missed you. 
When you finally pull away, you stay close, pressed against his chest–though whether that’s fully your choice or because of the crowd tightening around you is anyone’s guess. He can feel your heart pounding, and when you shoot him a small smirk, he’s pretty sure that you can feel the pace of his own pulse. Your grip loosens on the collar of his coat and you smooth it down coolly before your arm wraps around his back. Without a word, you cozy in, pressed close as your gaze returns to the sky and to the stars.
For a moment, he stands there, unmoving, mind empty. But then it’s like he snaps out of a trance, and he snakes an arm around your waist, holding you tightly. His focus shifts to the shooting stars above, catching one just as it streaks across the sky. As he stands there, staring at the heavens and feeling your steady breathing, his mind begins to wander.
12 years, 7 months, and 3 days. He’d spent most of that time wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t left. If, after he’d kissed you at the night market, he’d been satisfied with whatever life had come after that. He’d been so scared back then, of losing control, of his life not being his own. But now, none of that matters.
Now, he’d give up almost anything to stay here, in this moment, in your arms. 
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okay so like... what do we think? how are we feeling? I was originally planning on having this be much longer, but I was so stressed out from grad school, I just wanted to get it out now. I'm so excited to hear your thoughts! and let me know if you want to see a part 2 (and if so, what you might want to see in it!!)
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agustd3 · 10 months
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roomies 4 life
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yoongsisbae · 1 year
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Stories by Member
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JJK
Not a Creature was Stirring You wake up Christmas Eve night not to find Santa, but to find a man cold and shivering on your front porch. Clothes tattered, cuts on his body, out in the snow. You find out he’s not as helpless as he appears. Kind of cute, kind of scary, very buff Jungkook Fantasy AU. Spring Day Still with You [Sequel to Not a Creature was Stirring] You ran away from the cold, Jungkook ran with you, warming each other’s hearts. But within the cycle of life, there is death, and as spring blooms, the blood still lays soaked in the dirt. You ran and they chased. Hybrid!Jungkook.
Banana Milk It’s Jungkook’s Birthday, will he get his birthday wish?
The Fantasy You and your boyfriend try out a new form of role play, but it just keeps going wrong…
I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late?
Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-
Campfire Burning A steamy fic inspired by a certain vlive.
Seven Days a Week Every day, Jungkook shows you his devotion, deeper than the ocean. Seven different scenarios, seven days a week. idol!jungkook x noona!reader
Go Home, You're Drunk! - 75% “Who…are…you…” “Your worst nightmare, sweetheart.” “Really? Because you look like you belong in a boyband.” whacky and dark & for all the girlies who love an unhinged yandere character
The Snap - 70% The only surviving member of BTS, it takes Jungkook five years to find happiness again. And then life snapped back. What is Jungkook going to do now?
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KTH
Christmas with a Vampire There once was a time when holidays were warm and special, Taehyung remembers. To you, even in his coldness, Taehyung is all you need for Christmas. Cyber-punk futuristic AU with a self-hating vampire Tae.
BTS Song Fic (Blue and Grey) Sad song. Sad story. Sad author. Happy reader?
V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you. Superclumsysuperhero!RMverse AU.
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PJM
Christmas Mass Every Sunday, like clockwork, as designed and ordained, you sit quietly. Pray. Christmas mass comes, tonight your congregation dresses beautifully, like ornaments placed in a row right in front of God. Your priest, stands at the head like an angel atop the tree, commanding and pious and hauntingly handsome. Red. You’re a good faithful girl. You were taught to be, punished to be. You pray for respite, for something more than the condemnation this cold and icy town bestows upon you. Sinners. The coldness permeates your bones, you’re always scared. Tainted. Terrified of sin, terrified by your thoughts for your priest. Sacrilegious. This Christmas prayers are answered by no God. Demon AU. Dark smut.
You Asked for Help, He Asked Your Name You ran away from your responsibilities, but they caught you and tried to lay claim to your body. If your life was never going to be yours anyways, you decided might as well give it away and make a deal. fairyprince!Jimin
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KNJ
Your Friendly Neighborhood Superhero, RM Best friends 2 Lovers. Idiots 2 Lovers. Lovers 2 Enemies? This is a different kind of superhero story ;) Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe. Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there. V is for Villain 1 / 2 / 3 - 90% What does it mean to be a villain? What does it really mean to be a vigilante? A vanquisher of evil, or a victor for the good? Stories praise the fall of devils, cheer at the marvels of the virtuous, and forget the victorious tell a version conveniently veiling their own atrocities. Evilness was once the brightest star in heaven. And goodness, well, morality can so often be contentious. This time, there is the hero with the strength of a hundred men, there is the villain that can vanish his vulnerabilities in a very instant, and then there’s you.
I Appreciate Your Apology A Christmas party has you on thin ice with your favorite dom. Daddy Joon appreciates your apology, but does he accept it? daddydom!Joon smut, PWP, filth, aka Joon edging you until you see sleighbells.
Cold Feet You don’t want to get married anymore, what does Namjoon want? 
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JHS
Day Dream The days are hotter, the nights are hotter too. You sleep, restless. Tired, you sleep more, you sleep and you dream and you meet the dream walker and things somehow become even steamier. Sandman!Hoseok Dream Analysis / Alternate Ending 
Disco Winter Ball You and your friend Hoseok are best friend buddies going on a date to the annual disco winter ball. But it’s not a date date, okay? You and Hoseok just love music and you love dancing and Hoseok loves watching you dance. Wait not love, not in that way! A friendly love. Just friends. Just two friends who drink a little too much eggnog. HOAL couple holiday special
I Thought You Were Mine? Drunk arguing leads to drunk fuc–
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MYG
The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder Fearful, they buried them, stomped them into the dirt. Underneath their boot, scared men were unaware the seeds of hope had planted by their own volition. From the dirt and grime, grew flowers, blooms so tall, eclipsing their hatred. You were strong and unwilling to be cut down any more. Shapeshiftercat!yoongi.
Yoongi is a Rock That’s it. That’s the plot. Yoongi is a rock. Audio Ver. by the talented @voice-over-ff
I Didn’t Mean It, I Still Love You Yoongi made a mistake, will you forgive him? Or is it too late? 
Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! You visit your hometown during the holidays. You and your childhood friend Joon reminisce and you learn more about your smooth tech talker business partner Yoongi. Can he win you over once and for all? Set in Super Clumsy Super Hero RM universe.
King of Corruption [Sequel to Christmas Mass] The organ player takes his time with you, holding you and caressing your body while you sleep, until you can’t discern your dreams from your reality. A king and a sleeping beauty, his name leaves your lips like a prayer, prostated at his feet in blind reverence…the perfect position for him to corrupt and defile you. Demon AU. Dark smut.
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KSJ
The Flower Bridge You couldn’t, you didn’t want to, not anymore, the pain was too much, you wanted it to end, so you visited the bridge. Standing at the highest point, the wind stung, but your problems were bigger, your pain was stronger than the whipping air and your anguish deeper than the water below. Tethered in the center, connecting the place you came from and the place you were going, you found another type of bridge and he found you. Ghost!Seokjin.
Meet Cute, Time Loop A story where Seokjin loves you before you love him before he loves you.
Ddak-ji SLAP Jungkook, Seokjin, and you decide to play a game…and then you fu-
Seokjin’s Ho Ho Ho Your boyfriend surprises you with a Christmas dinner on the beach, things get a little steamy, candy canes get sucked, peppermint liquor might be involved, there is definitely some questionable Santa Costume attire, and lots of jolly lovin’! HOAL couple holiday special.
Christmas Lights Out! Agust D vs RM Super Hero Christmas Special! Extended Scene: The Mind Reader, The Telekinetic and The Closet just silly and raunchy and ridiculous, dirty thoughts...it goes there.
Gangnam Girlfriend: Korea’s #1 Celebrity Dating Show with your Host, International Super Star, Jin Welcome to Gangnam Girlfriend! Where Korea’s top eligible singles fight for a chance at love! You're supposed to be playing the dating game right? Not sneaking off in the middle of the night with the show’s host to watch the stars and talk about all your lost love connections, cuddling under a blanket. And even if the choice is clear, Kim Seokjin can't date you, the reason you joined is because you wanted a public relationship, and Jin could neverrr. Even though he wants to finally settle down! But Hybe wouldn't let him join as a contestant so he took the next best thing instead, our story's beloved host, yet now he's regretting his decision as he watches the girl he is starting to fall for fall for someone else, oh no! Meet the Cast / Epi1 - 85%
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OT7
SERIES
Bon Voyage: Into the Sea [Fantasy AU] A storm capsized your boat and looks like you were the only survivor. Somehow you made it to shore, but where? Stranded, you suddenly find out you are not alone, and now you’re stuck in the middle of a centuries old conflict between 7 monsters. Member Imagines /Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 /  Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 - 5% / ?
Handshakes of a Lifetime [Soulmate AU] …the meeting room is getting closer and closer, basking you and those around you in warm light, and you think about all the internet comments people write about this kind of moment, “she must have saved a country in her past life to experience this.” Playlist / Ch1 / Drabble - JJK / Ch2 / Ch3 / X-mas - JHS / Ch4 / X-mas - KSJ / Ch5 / Ch6 / Ch7 / Ch8 / Ch9 / Ch10 - 10% / ?
Caught! House of Cards [Yandere AU] You needed money. The pandemic offered little options. So you joined a website to make some quick and easy cash. Men paying to look at you, harmless fun, right? It was a decision you didn’t think too much about, you just wanted an income again. Little did you know how dangerous the members of House of Cards were. You weren’t prepared for the consequences of your actions. Watch out! Houses built with cards come tumbling down… Profiles / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 / Xmas Drabble - KTH / Ch5 - 90% / ?
Run Run Run [Zombie Apocalypse AU Slow Burn] A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. Member Poll / Seoul Flow / Yangyang Living / Seoul Town Road / Hwarang Freestyle / Seoul Close / Samsung State of Mind - 5% / The Big Hit Break In! - TBA / ?
T H E T A K E O V E R [BTS Apocalypse / Dystopian AU Thriller] The recruits of Bangtan Academy were trained to be super soldiers, to be the strongest, fastest, most cunning fighters in the world. Now they are being put to the test! You were at the bottom of your class, but you noticed the cracks in the system first, what are you going to do? Run or try to save the world Prequel / Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 - 78% / ?
DRABBLES
BTS (as kisses) / BTS (as holidays) / BTS (as drinks)
BTS Cheering You Up While Studying Korean
MASTERLISTS
Naughty Girl Christmas BTS X-MAS Masterlist
Spring Fling Fantasy Stories that Bloom Masterlist
BTS Supers RM Verse Masterlist (coming soon…)
Original Masterlist
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angelicyoongie · 6 months
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lovesick (X)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 4.8k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, spanking as punishment, minor injuries, other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late.
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Previous – Next
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You wake up to the sound of gravel crunching under Namjoon's shoes.
Your face is tucked against his chest, breathing in the scent of the crisp night air that lingers on his coat. It takes you a moment to reorient yourself, for the last tendrils of unconsciousness to slip away.
It all comes crashing down over you like a cold bucket of water as reality sets in; he's taking you back to the cabin.
It'll be as if the last hours never happened, as if you never stepped foot outside the sturdy wooden structure. You're going back to them – except, perhaps it won't be the same men that you left that you'll have to face once you step back inside. The soulmates you ran away from were terrible and selfish but they were never cruel. After your failed escape attempt, however, you no longer know if that still rings true. If that's something you can count on. 
Your body locks up at the thought of the monsters waiting for you down the road, muscles spasming with the need to move despite the utter exhaustion weighing you down.
Namjoon tightens his grip around your middle as you grow stiff, arms locking you securely against his body.
"You're awake," He notes, the usual honey in his voice gone. "It's for the best. We can deal with everything much quicker this way."
The fearful whine that shoots up your throat gets trapped behind your teeth, your lips too numb for the noise to pass through them. It takes great effort for you to move your head over, turning just enough that you're able to pick up on your surroundings. Namjoon must have parked just down the bend from the cabin, his steady steps already closing in on the dark silhouette looming between the trees in the distance. 
Your heart feels like it's trying to beat itself out of your chest as you pick up on muffled yells, shivers racing down your frozen spine as you make out six distinct voices. The soft light emanating from the cabin sends ferocious shadows dancing across the ground, their movements erratic and violent.
It gets harder to breathe the closer you get, your chest refusing to move as Namjoon steps up on the small patio in front of the entrance. Blood rushing in your ears, you try to make yourself as small as possible in his arms as he reaches out for the handle, wishing you could just melt away into nothing. Anything would've been better than this.
The cabin goes deadly still as Namjoon pushes the door open. 
Your vision blurs as you're brought into the heat, your eyes stinging as you attempt to blink some moisture back into them. You can barely make out the six fuzzy figures scattered around the room, their bodies stock still as if they're frozen in time. The chilly wind that blows into the cabin is nothing compared to the sight that greets you as your eyes adjust – the six men in front of you looking everything from angry to icy to hurt. A few of them even have the gall to glare at you with something akin to betrayal; like you were only stringing them along for your amusement and not your survival. 
It leaves you trembling with fear, the knowledge that no matter what you do, nothing will make them understand that they're the ones in the wrong. That they're the selfish ones.
Namjoon takes another step forward, chest rising with a small sigh as he readjusts you in his grip. Perhaps he regrets bringing you back now that he can see the state the others are in, their hair and clothes rumpled, the furniture in the common room strewn about like a hurricane has torn through it.
You glance back up at his face in time to see him set his jaw, his voice tight as he says, "We're back." 
The door that slams shut behind him jerks the cabin back into motion, the noise that was sucked out before suddenly rolling over the room like a crashing wave. You screw your eyes shut as their yells blend into each other, feet thundering across the room as they stumble over themselves to reach you. 
"What were you thinking?!" You flinch as Taehyung's voice booms across the cabin. You can't discern if it's anger or concern that's got him so agitated, so loud, and that scares you. 
"Calm down, Taehyung. I know you were worried but this isn't the way to show it," Yoongi hisses. 
His voice drifts closer, a little softer, as he addresses you, "You're lucky Namjoon found you, Y/n. You're already chilled to the bone." 
"Never scare me like that again, angel," Seokjin sounds wobbly as he pats over your hair, hushing the choked noise you make at the contact. 
Your eyes flutter open against your will at the low, irritated snort that travels through the room.
Jimin stands with his arms crossed over his chest by the couch, scowling as the two oldest keep fretting over you. "Don't tell me you already forgot why you were so distraught in the first place, hyungs? Y/n ran away. She was just playing with us with whole time – she doesn't love us." 
Seokjin's fingers still in your hair, the warm touch of his hand slowly receding as he takes a step back. He throws a hard glance over his shoulder, mouth pinched in annoyance, "Jimin, did I not tell you to shut up for the rest of the night?" 
Jimin grits his teeth at Seokjin's tone, turning his head to stare blankly at the wall. 
"He's right though," Hoseok says, hand brushing over Jimin's shoulder as he steps closer. "Y/n tricked us. She betrayed the trust we gave her and we can't let that slide without any consequences." 
"What are you suggesting?" Namjoon leans back on his heels, fingers digging into your thigh.
"She deserves a punishment," Hoseok blankly states, eyebrows cocked as he stares you down, "Don't you agree, Y/n?" 
"N-no," You weakly shake your head.
The tsk you get from Hoseok in return makes you recoil, the fear in your body so tangible you can taste it on the tip of your tongue. 
"I think you're right, Hobi." 
A small, betrayed gasp leaves your lips as you hear Yoongi's careful drawl. His agreement stings more than expected, somehow you had deluded yourself into thinking that Yoongi wasn't as bad as the other men in the room; that he and Jungkook actually seemed to care a little for you and not just your soulmate connection.
Jungkook still hasn't moved from where he's sat in one of the big ratty armchairs near the couches. His doe eyes are shiny with tears when you meet them across the room. Jungkook starts curling in on himself the longer you look, shame pulling at his features as he ducks his head.
"Fine," Namjoon says, "But nothing too bad." 
"Of course not. I don't actually want to hurt sunshine, she just needs to learn a lesson," Hoseok scoffs.
The men around you share a look, a silent conversation passing between them. You have no idea what they're thinking but it frightens you to know that this must have been something they have already discussed, that they've already decided on a punishment should you ever disobey them. 
"Who–?" Seokjin trails off, biting his lip nervously between his teeth.
"I'll do it," Taehyung sounds chastised, his voice meek as he adds, "I should do it." 
He takes a seat in the middle of the couch, dragging his hands over his jeans as he gives Namjoon a nod to show that he's ready. 
"W-what, no!" You uselessly tug at Namjoon's coat as he strides across the room, your frozen limbs making it impossible to fight back as you're carefully manhandled across Taehyung's lap.
Fingers wrap around your ankles, keeping your legs glued against the couch as you futilely try to push yourself up with shaking arms. Another hand is pressed against the small of your back, rendering your movement useless. No matter how much you try to squirm, you're simply too exhausted and cold to shake them off.
It takes you a second to recognize the position you're in, disgust curling in your stomach as it hits you that you're about to be spanked. 
"I'm not a c-child," You bite through clattering teeth, fingernails digging into threadbare cushions. 
"No? You sure act like one," Hoseok scowls. "Big girls wouldn't run off like you did." 
You jerk as Taehyung's hand settles on the back of your thigh. You turn your head back to look at him as the others crowd around the couch, voice breaking as you whisper, "Please don't." 
Taehyung doesn't meet your eye. His gaze is trained resolutely on his hand, his expression pinched. The corner of his mouth is downturned as he moves his hand from your thigh to your butt, his long fingers easily spanning over one cheek.
You let out a shuddering breath at the unwanted touch, pressing your forehead to the couch to hide away from the six burning pairs of eyes that surround you. Taehyung's fingers flex against the material of your trousers as he murmurs something under his breath, the feeling so weirdly intimate it makes your eyes cloud over, hot tears trailing down your temple. 
"It's just ten, babe. We could do a lot worse," He comments gruffly. 
There's no preamble before Taehyung raises his hand and delivers the first hit, the harsh smack echoing through the room. You bite your tongue, choking down the strangled cry that tries to rush up your throat.
You feel the imprint of his fingers burn on your cheek, the sudden pain so consuming you barely register how someone else hisses out a low curse.
It's only when Taehyung is on the third hit that you feel how he jolts as his hand makes contact; how it takes him a moment to collect himself before he delivers the next one. The fifth smack brings a weird sense of clarity to you, Yoongi's irritated cough finally making you realize that you're all feeling Taehyung's slaps. Your soulbond is connected through pain so the hurt that blooms with every hit doesn't just affect you – it has an impact on them as well.
The somber atmosphere in the room isn't just because they're disciplining you for running away; they're also punishing themselves for letting it happen. 
You let out a harsh breath at the next smack. Despite the numbness in your limbs, you can feel how horrible your butt is stinging, the alternating hits doing little to lessen the pain a new one brings. It becomes harder and harder to think with each hit, your mind slowly falling apart under the excruciating combination of fear, exhaustion and pain. 
The final smack seems to linger in the room and the silence that follows feels so thick you might crumble under it. 
Your right-hand aches as Taehyung uses his to lightly rub over your smarting ass, his breathing shaky as he tries to soothe the bruises that are no doubt already starting to form. 
"Hyung," Taehyung rasps.
The hands pressing on your back and ankles disappear in an instant. Taehyung springs away as Namjoon lifts you, moving your body into Seokjin's waiting arms. You try to blink away the tears clinging to your lashes as Seokjin leans you back against his chest, taking some of the pressure off your backside as you're maneuvered to lay on your side. 
"You're absolutely freezing, angel," He tuts. He motions for Yoongi to grab him a nearby blanket, quickly tucking you in. The warmth that wraps around you is a small comfort, but it's not nearly enough to quell the shivers that are still rattling through your body.
"Let's do this quick, she needs to warm up." 
You swallow thickly as Namjoon kneels by your feet, gently pulling your socks off. They're so cold you struggle to move your toes. 
It's not until a rush of warm air hits your exposed skin that you realize you're hurt. Your soles are aching something fierce and you catch a glimpse of blood on the socks Namjoon throws down beside him. 
"Darling," Namjoon furrows his brows as he looks at the torn skin, tongue poking into his cheek in disappointment. "Why did you do this to yourself?" 
He shakes his head as if you're going to answer him. Heaving out a heavy sigh, Namjoon wordlessly accepts a small basin of warm water and a cloth from Hoseok, wetting and wringing the material out before he brings it to your feet. 
You let out a wounded hiss as he makes contact, your foot involuntarily jerking away from the water that stings your open cuts. The quick movement causes you to drag your sole against the couch and it only causes you more hurt, a sharp pain shooting up your leg.
"Fuck," You whimper, body shaking against Seokjin's as Namjoon quickly reaches out to grab your foot, holding it securely over the side of the couch. You can feel Seokjin's leg twitch as the pain moves through the soulbond, the others grimacing as they feel it too.
"Angel, please be careful," Seokjin admonishes as he tucks his head over your shoulder, holding you in a tight hug as he rests his cheek against yours. 
You shudder as Namjoon once again brings the cloth back to your skin, wincing as he meticulously and carefully cleans up all the dried blood and dirt clinging to your wounds. Namjoon's voice is perturbed as he moves on to your other foot, holding it with a firm grip as he says, "This is why we were holding you down during your punishment, darling, so you wouldn't hurt yourself more by moving around. We don't enjoy doing any of this." 
You choose not to voice your disbelief. Judging by the sour look Jimin sports as he stares you down, you're sure it's written all over your face regardless. 
Namjoon hands off the dirty water and cloth to Yoongi, switching it out with an antiseptic cream that he starts dabbing on your cuts. 
Seokjin's warm breath hits the corner of your mouth as he cautiously asks, "What made you come back, Joon? You weren't supposed to return until tomorrow." 
The bandage that's being wrapped around your left foot pauses, Namjoon tilting his head as he mulls over what to respond.
"I think it was that pull you've talked about before. I just suddenly felt like I had to go back to the cabin, that I was needed here," He lets out a low snort, humorless. "I guess whatever feeling it was, was correct." 
"Interesting," Yoongi muses. He leans against Jungkook's chair, absentmindedly patting the youngest's hair. Jungkook leans into the comforting touch, face still marred with shame as he chances a glance over at you in Seokjin's arms. 
You stare blankly down at Namjoon's hands as he finishes up one bandage and moves on to the next, his words echoing in your head. Did the soulbond somehow call him back? If it knew you were trying to put distance between yourself and your soulmates, can it work against you to keep you from separating from them?
You don't want to believe that it can affect you that much. But if it is true, does that mean your own soul is betraying you – that it'll do whatever it takes to keep you close to these monsters who don't actually care about you, as long as it'll keep the bond strong? 
"It's definitely too strange to just be a coincidence," Hoseok purses his lips.
The sweater you picked out this morning suddenly feels too heavy on your shoulders. Was it just by chance that you picked out one that belongs to Namjoon, or is there something else to it? Can you even trust yourself anymore? 
You barely register as Namjoon finishes wrapping up your foot, the blanket being pulled away from your body as Seokjin lets go of your waist. Your chest is tight and your vision spotty as you're handed off to Yoongi, too many awful thoughts and feelings all vying for your attention at once. 
You feel yourself being carried again, the lights going from soft to bright, but it's like everything is underwater, muffled and out of reach. Yoongi's blurry face is suddenly in front of yours and it takes you once, twice, to focus on what he's saying; for the words to make any sense. "–can you do it yourself?" 
Yoongi sighs as you stare blankly back at him. He brushes a finger down your trembling jaw, wincing at how cold your skin feels. "Y/n, you really need to warm up. I'm going to place a stool for you inside the shower so that you can rest and we can keep your feet outside of it and dry. I know you'd rather not have me undress you, but are you able to do that yourself?" 
"Yes," You croak, disgust rippling across your body as you think of Yoongi undressing you, of any of them seeing you so vulnerable. 
"Okay," Yoongi says, unconvinced. You bite your lip harshly as you're placed down on the closed toilet seat, the pressure awful on your bruised ass. 
Yoongi steps over to turn the shower on for you, the old pipes rattling as water starts spewing out of them. He keeps his hand under the spray until he deems the temperature good enough. His expression is sorry yet firm as steps back, nodding to the door as he explains, "I can't leave the room but I'll keep my back turned to you the entire time. You're too weak to be left on your own right now. I won't turn around until you tell me it's okay. I promise." 
"Do you want help to get over to the stool once you're undressed?" Yoongi eyes your bandaged feet, eyebrows drawn tight with worry.
"No," You whisper.
The toilet is only a few steps away from the shower but even just that feels like miles with a body so tired and battered. Still, you're willing to push yourself until you collapse if it means none of them will touch you like that. 
"Just let me know if you need help, love," Yoongi sighs as he walks over to the door, facing it head-on like promised.
Getting undressed is a battle but it's one you refuse to lose. You keep your eyes locked on Yoongi's back as you pull off layer after layer, the steady steam rising in the bathroom only making your shivers worse. You refuse to strip down further than your underwear, the pieces offering you some modesty in a situation that just feels so mortifying. 
You pull yourself up on your feet with a yelp, legs shaking with pain as you slowly hobble over to the shower. You're not sure how you manage to maneuver yourself down on the stool but you do, and the relief of warm water cascading down your frozen body is so great you can't hold back the sob that rips out of your throat. 
Yoongi's back tenses as he hears the broken noise, his hands gripping the doorframe to keep himself in place. He never turns his head, choosing instead to rest it against the door, taking deep and measured breaths as he listens to your choked cries and whimpers.
The warmth slowly returning to your limbs is downright awful. The cold clinging to your skin refuses to bulge at first, and when it finally does slip, it feels like pins and needles being hammered into your flesh as the water rains down on you. The shivers slowly ebb away the longer you sit in the shower, your dry calves and feet prickling with the weird temperature difference.
You lose track of time as the heat gently returns to your body, face swollen and puffy as the last of your hopelessness trickles out through your eyes. 
You're exhausted and everything hurts. It's like your mind and body has been fractured into a thousand pieces, all of them poking and pricking you no matter what muscle you flex or what direction your thoughts try to stray.
You just want to sleep, to forget, for a little while. 
Yoongi straightens up as the water is turned off. His voice is hoarse, much like he's been crying himself when he asks, "Are you done, Y/n? Are you still cold?" 
You take a deep, shaking breath, filling your lungs with as much bravery as you can muster. "'m done." 
"Wrap yourself up in the towel by the shower, love. Let me know when you're covered, yeah? I'll open the door and grab the clothes Jungkook left for you." 
You do as Yoongi asks, watching as he opens the door just enough to snatch the clothes waiting for him outside. He walks backward towards the shower, still somewhat respectful of your privacy as he leaves them on the toilet. "Take the time you need to get dressed. I'll wait by the door until you're ready." 
Your mind is hazy and drifting as you attempt to dry yourself off, exhaustion weighing your lashes down. Slipping your wet underwear off under your towel in exchange for Jungkook's clothes isn't an easy feat, pain still flaring up your feet as you're forced to put pressure on them. Still, it's a small consolation that Yoongi doesn't attempt to help you until you raise your voice and say that you're done.
Yoongi sweeps you up into his arms before you can even blink, strong arms holding you close to his chest. He swallows hard as he glances down at you, voice unbearably soft as he says, "I really am sorry, Y/n." 
He, much like Namjoon, knows he won't be getting an answer. Yoongi steps out of the bathroom with measured steps, making sure not to move you around too much. The cabin is dark and quiet as he carries you down the hallway, the others nowhere to be seen.
"It's been a long day for all of us," Yoongi mutters as if he senses your confusion. 
Your fingers find Yoongi's shirt as he steps closer to your room, shock hitting you like a lightning bolt as you see the state of it. The door is broken off its hinges, halfway torn off the frame. The desk you pushed against it is flush with the wall and the rest of your room looks absolutely trashed. Furniture has been flipped over as if they were looking for you under it; your belongings scattered everywhere. The brute force they must have used to get into the room makes you realize just how badly this return, this punishment, could have gone for you. 
The moment passes as Yoongi walks further down the hall, but the sick feeling in your stomach lingers. 
He nudges one of the ajar doors with his foot, stepping into the room as it opens. The bedroom is bathed in soft light, the pillows on the bed fluffed and the covers already drawn aside. Yoongi carefully places you down on the mattress before he tucks you in, his expression troubled as he watches how you wince and grimace as you try to get comfortable. 
"This is Seokjin hyung's room," Yoongi explains, "He'll be staying with you tonight. We ... we're going to be taking turns watching over you." 
"Thank you for the introduction, Yoongi-chi," Seokjin's smile is a little strained as he enters the room, a glass of water clutched in his hand. He places it down on the table next to you, patting Yoongi's back before he takes a seat in the plush chair that faces the bed. 
"You can go rest now." 
"Alright," Yoongi nods. He meets your gaze for a split second, mumbling out a gentle goodnight before he turns on his heel and leaves.
Seokjin lets out a small sigh as the door clicks shut. "I should've given him a talking to for not drying your hair properly but I'm sure you're tired, angel. Damp hair must be the least of your worries right now, huh?" He shakes his head.
You pull the covers up to your chin, eyes alert despite how your lids keep attempting to fall shut every other second. There's not an ounce of trust for them in your body but it's so terribly difficult to stay awake when you want to do nothing but sleep. 
"I'm sure you saw the state of your old room," Seokjin winces, "You'll be spending one night with each of us on rotation. You might not wish to have us so close all the time but you shattered the trust we had in you, Y/n."
He folds his hands in his lap with a frown, staring down at his slightly crooked fingers as he says, "You can use the bathroom alone as long as one of us is right outside of the door, but aside from that, we're going to have to watch your every step. We won't allow you to hurt yourself again. I'm sorry it had to come to this but, well, it was the best thing we could settle on." 
You close your eyes to avoid the sad look Seokjin gives you, your chest constricting with fury. If they're trying to guilt trip you, it's not working. You can't believe they're trying to frame all of this as them simply looking out for you when in reality, they're robbing you of any agency you have. 
As you take deep breaths to quell the anger bubbling in your stomach, you feel yourself growing heavier and heavier, your body sinking into the mattress below. You want to be angry, you want to fight, but what's the use? You won't get another chance at escaping the cabin and your own soul clings to the soulbond, refusing to let you weaken your connection to them. 
You fist the sheets, sniffling as darkness begins to drag you under. If the universe wants you here, wants you to stay with them, maybe.. maybe it's time you give up and accept it. 
You wake up, drowsy, to the sound of something clattering. It takes you a second to realize that it's coming from you – your teeth rattling in your mouth from the cold that has seeped into the room while you slept. Everything is dark aside from the pale moonlight shining through the window on the other side of the room, your breath fogging up the air in front of you as you breathe.
You gingerly flip over on your other side, pulling the sheets as tight to your body as they can go, but it doesn't help fend the cold off. It's no wonder this cabin is abandoned during most of the year, not if it's reliant on the fireplace in the common room to heat up the entire place. 
After what feels like an eternity of shivering, you hear Seokjin's raspy voice calling out in the quiet room. "Angel? Are you cold?" 
Fabric rustles as he shifts in the chair. You hold yourself as still as possible as footsteps pad across the wooden floors, Seokjin's darkened silhouette coming into view. He hesitates by the side of the bed for a second, just enough for your teeth to start clattering again before he makes up his mind and climbs in. The mattress dips as Seokjin's weight settles upon it, the man in front of you scooting down until he's facing you in the dark. 
A rush of cold air hits your body as he raises the sheets to shimmy under them, an arm curling around your waist before you can even think to open your mouth. Seokjin presses himself flush against your body, mindful of your injuries as he tucks your face into his neck. 
"I'm still upset with you, angel, and I know you're upset with me, but you need my body heat if you want to sleep." 
Seokjin is very warm. 
You inch closer without even meaning to, your sleepy brain desperate for the heat that radiates off him. Seokjin lets out a small gasp as your cold nose skims against his throat, his hand pressing between your shoulder blades to keep you close.
Sleep slowly begins to weigh down your eyelids again as you soak up Seokjin's warmth, your body relaxing so deeply it feels like your bones have been turned to mush. The last thing you remember is Seokjin nuzzling his face into your hair, lips pressing against it in a soft kiss that makes your heart flutter.
Perhaps, if you had been a little more awake, you would've realized it wasn't fear that made it skip a beat.
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a/n: you can read ch 11 of lovesick early by clicking here!
it only took ten months but we're back baby!! how are we feeling about what happened in this chapter? namjoon bringing her back, the boys' reaction and her "punishment", her private moment with yoongi and seokjin ... lots of things happened so i would love to hear what you're thinking!!
see you in the next chapter and remember to wish jimin a happy b-day!! 💖
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bangficsx · 8 months
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OVERLOVED
pair : jjk x y/n
genre : roommates to lovers, fake dating, slow burn, smut, fluff, bantering, pining, yearning, college students, aspirant professor jk, aspirant journalist y/n, reader is a child of divorce, both have trust issues, mild angst, sexual exploration, first love, impromptu dates, soulmates.
synopsis : you meet jungkook when you're trying to find another tenant for a spare room in the house you rent a room in, you have to lie to get your landlord to let him stay. Life turns upside down from there.
1 2
or
READ IT ON WATTPAD ( completed)
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‘Butter’ Jacket Shoot Sketch Day Three - RM, j-hope, Jimin, and V
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ladyartemesia · 8 months
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PART I: BARE YOUR SOUL
PART II: BARE YOUR HEART
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ROOMMATE AU/SOULMATE AU
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I finally figured out my titles! Thank you to all who helped me brainstorm and a big shout out to @sumzysworld for the winning suggestion. You guys are the best. This fic has fully taken on a mind of its own. I really can’t wait to share it with you all! I even made a banner! It’s a lot more understated than my usual style, but it really fits the tone of the fic and I’m very happy with it!
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coming soon…
READ A TINY TEASER HERE
AND HERE
AND HERE
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purpleyoonn · 10 months
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red string 2
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“our connection is determined by a tiny invisible string”
summary: you figured it was too late for your string to solidify, used to the idea of finding someone on your own, who also never got their string. However, your string began to tug when you least expected it, to the last person or people you would have ever thought.
genre: soulmate au, red string of fate au, poly au,
pairing: BTS (Yoongi centered) x Reader
status: ongoing (random updates)
warnings: slight yandere themes, insecure reader, alcohol, talks of jealousy, soul bonds, mentions of past abuse,
chapter warnings: soul pain, first meetings, running away, mc didn’t really want a bond, cinderella-esque plot line, mc is cynical, allusions to past abusive relationship, bad flashbacks, kind-of kidnapping but not really??, soul tug, mc has ptsd, 
I am not going to have a taglist for this fic. I will only be using the permanent taglist as its intended for all of my fics.
permanent taglist: @m1sss1mp​ @yourleftsock​ @skyys-universe​ @cryingpages​ @strxwbloody​  @drissteele​ @dustyinkpages​ @iamkookiesforyou​ @crushedblackroses​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​ @blaaiissee​  @iiitsmaria​  @carolinexkpop​  @azazel-nyx​ @strawberry-moonpies​ @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​ @knjkitten​ @foreverweareyoung7​ @lachimolala22019​ @namuficxs​ @94z-93​ @kimgmzmc​ @thenaverse​ @dahliasbouqet​ @black-rose-29​ @tinyoonsblog​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​ @stellauniverse​ @stupendouscookiehumanmug​ @tinyoonsblog​ @veronawrites​ @tatyhend​ @singukieee​ @m0v3m3ntsblog​ @exfolitae​ @butterymin​ @queen-in-the-shadows​ @anaspectoflife @welcometomyworld13 @slinekyu @ghostlyworld@svnbangtansworld @loisje123 @i-have-no-life-charlie @danielle143 @jcrml@softieyn @kyuupidwrites @friedlollipop @lulu-83​ @tokiodori​
masterlist // part 1 // part 3
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Previously on Red String:
“If Mr. Min saw you carrying her, you would need the medical room.” The guard’s words were blunt, but a little worrying.
“Mr. Min? You don’t mean…” Hong visibly paled as he looked down at you, his mind making the connection you didn’t want to say. His grip loosens as Hyunsoo takes you from his arms.
“I don’t need to remind you of the NDA you signed, do I, Hongmin?” The man who found you shook his head quickly, before looking down at you once more and walking away. You could almost see his body shaking as he did so.
Still unable to move your neck, you grumble into the guard’s chest.
“So, how’s it goin?” You ask, your brain’s defense system seeing sarcasm as its only choice.
The guard assigned to you was immensely stoic; silent in a way you couldn’t even crack a smile out of the man as you grumbled to yourself.
“You know, this was not how I wanted to spend my birthday. I imagined, well, hoped for, a nice drink and take out with a crappy movie I could laugh mindlessly to. Not having fate move against me and trap me against the bathroom door.”  The guard just kept walking, sometimes stopping to adjust you in his arms as your body arguably continued to let gravity do its job, more or less against your will but who were you to fight against fate when it went with your own wishes.
“So, where are we goin?” You asked him, trying to get the man to crack, but he just continued to ignore you. You weren’t going to give up though.
You could vaguely hear the music playing, the concert still happening as you were being brought to your doom. You wondered where the man was taking you, only slightly correct in the idea that you would be brought to a waiting room of some sort. However, you realized you were wrong when you were brought to a very nice room, three big couches taking up the left of the room while a couple of tables and vanities took up the other half.
The guard, and consequently you, only made it a couple of steps in before the door was being opened again. Well, more like the door was slammed open, almost flying off its hinges as the man you were trying to run from pushed his way into the room. You would have laughed at the growl coming from Yoongi’s lips if it wasn’t aimed in your direction, and a shiver raced up your spine. You were practically shaking in the guard’s arms!
Yoongi was surely gone, Agust D taking his place as the dark look in his eyes takes in your figure, resting in the arms of the guard he had assigned to watch you. He couldn’t explain the rage he felt when he saw you in the arms of someone else; someone who wasn’t him! You were his bond, his red string! He could feel the growing possessiveness he held for you, his instincts screaming at him.
“Sirs, I—” The guard tried to explain but began to stutter after being pinned with six other glares that accompanied Yoongi’s; looks that radiated anger and power looked at him, and only then did the guard realize what he was doing wrong. He didn’t understand why the guard was holding you when he said not to touch you.
Yoongi just held his hand up, stopping the man from continuing his apologies, and stepped forward, arms reaching to take you from him. You only grunted, not exactly wanting to be in Yoongi’s arms but unfortunately, the stupid soul tug was still in effect. You couldn’t fight against the idol who now tightened his embrace around you and cradled you to his chest like a lost kitten. Like he expected you to jump from his arms any second and run.
Well, he wouldn’t be wrong.
It’s not like I could make it far anyways. You answered the stupid voice in your head.
You ignored the warmth building in your veins, ignoring the way Yoongi’s touch had your body unwillingly relaxing into his arms as you tried to move your head to see where your strings led.
You had almost forgotten about your fourth string, now split into four other pieces, each leading to the members you had yet to meet. You had seven total strings and each one led to one of the boys.
Man, Lindsey was right.
Let’s not tell her that, though. You internally cringed, knowing exactly how your best friend would react. The words “I told you so” would not be the last thing leaving her mouth, unfortunately. She would never let you live this moment down. Ever.
You couldn’t hear anything Namjoon was saying to the guard who brought you here, only seeing the dragon eyes aimed at the shorter man, and the way the guard was nodding every couple seconds. Within a minute the guard had all but ran out of the door, Namjoon turning to you with a smirk on his lips.
You were about to make some remark to the taller man smirking at you but your breath whooshed out instead when Yoongi turned you around and sat down with you still in his arms. He adjusted you so your head was resting back against his shoulder and you were facing the room, feeling entirely too exposed.
“You’re not very good at running, are you?” Yoongi murmured into your ear, causing that stupid, heated blush to creep up your neck and ears. You could practically feel the damn smirk creeping on his lips.
“You knew I’d be here.” You stated, now having put everything together. They were responsible for your and Lindsey’s seat changes and for the guards keeping an eye on you., making you feel watched and panicked.
“We did say we wanted to speak with you in private…” You turn your head to see Taehyung and Jimin seated on a smaller loveseat to your right. Taehyung had a neutral expression but you could see in his eyes something different, while Jimin was just hopeful, watching your own facial expressions carefully.
You look down at Taehyung’s words, feeling the pain of rejection and hurt all over again. You didn’t think you wanted to have a conversation that would lead to where you thought it was going to, so you wanted to avoid it all together.
It seemed Yoongi could tell where your thoughts were going, moving his arm from around your waist to slowly trail his fingers up your arm and to your wrist, turning your left hand over connecting his palm with yours, intertwining his fingers with yours causing the thick, dark red string connecting you to glow for a couple of seconds before returning to normal. The bond snapping back into place after being incomplete from your first meeting.
The first stage of the bond, the soul tug, was meant to ensure that the bond was being completed. This meant you now couldn’t go be more than a few feet from any of the boys once you had physical contact. By you running, and now Yoongi holding you, the first stage had begun.
You try to leave his grip, feeling the tingling and numbness in your toes starting to disappear, but unfortunately, the rest of your body was not so lucky. When Yoongi noticed your attempts, he smiled smugly, taking advantage of the fact that you couldn’t move or leave him by holding you tighter against him.
“Do you not feel the tug? Do you not feel the way your body relaxes against Yoongi’s touch, even against your own subconscious?” Namjoon’s questions have you tensing again, not wanting to answer his question, instead you stare at your bonds, noticing the tugging sensation and the ripples in color whenever one of them moves.
“Do you not feel the bond you so obviously share with us, the one you continue to fight against?” Namjoon continues, frowning as Yoongi leans back to rest against the back of the couch, your body unhappily following along. Your cheeks grow hot again, your body working against you and showing the way you feel about the answers to his questions, completely giving you away to the intelligent leader.
“Ignoring the feelings you have for the bond; it does not ignore the fact that we are soulmates. Your strings are connected to ours. You are ours whether you like it or not. We aren’t going to let you go and we aren’t going to just let you walk out of here without us by your side.” You open your mouth in shock at the leader’s words, wondering where in the hell he got is audacity from?! The rest of the boys were nodding their heads in agreement, as if they had already discussed this.
Which they probably did, the little voice in your head tells you.
You ignore the voice and you ignore the butterflies in your stomach at Namjoon’s claim. You hadn’t realized how much you would love the idea of being claimed until it was staring you in the face, with a little tilt of the head and a raise of the eyebrow.
Before you could argue against his words, you could feel your phone in your back pocket vibrating. You sighed out in relief and hoped you could use this as an excuse to leave.
Lindsey you are a life saver! You praised your best friend in your head, only to start cursing as you felt Yoongi reaching for your phone, his hand resting just a little too long against the curve of your ass before taking your phone out of your pocket.
“Give me—" You’re cut off but Yoongi pressing the answer button and pressing your phone to his own ear.
“Where the hell are you dude? You disappeared and missed the entire concert! I’ve been looking for you everywhere and trying to think nice thoughts while one of those guards from earlier follows me around!”
“I’m sorry about that. You must be Lindsey?” Yoongi’s voice was soft, like velvet as he spoke to your friend. You were in shock at the change in his voice, from sultry to being as sweet and innocent as can be.
“Who is this and why do you have my best friend’s phone?”
“This is—”
“Is this Yoongi? Oh my god! Uhm, you know what, never mind. Just make sure she goes to bed on time. She gets cranky in the mornings.” Yoongi wasn’t even able to get a couple words out before Lindsey recognized his voice.
Hmm. It seems our little soulmate told her friend about us. And she approves. Yoongi hummed to himself as Lindsey hung up the phone after promising she would give your things to the guard following her, assuming that he was working with the boys and she was right.
“Well, it seems as though your friend is just fine with you coming home with us.” Yoongi’s smile brightened as he watched the others faces light up, Jungkook was especially excited as he knew you were his age. He hoped you liked to cuddle, seeing as the others never liked to stay in bed as long as he did.
“What… I…uh?” You stammered, brain moving too slow as you tried to come up with a way out if this, forgetting the fact you still couldn’t move.
You hear a slap and see Jungkook bouncing in his seat, clearly excited for you to come home with them. He was slapping his thighs and talking animatedly to Jin about all of the things he planned to do with you. You would have been completely endeared by his plan to play video games with you if you weren’t internally freaking out.
“I can’t go with you!” You blurted out, cringing a little at how loud you were.
“Why not?” Hoseok inquired; eyebrow raised as he watched you come up with an excuse.
“I, uhm, don’t have any clothes.” You replied, a little proud of your quick answer only for your smile to shatter at Jimin’s words.
“We can give you some!” You paled at his own excitement, not wanting to crush his plainly obvious feelings of hope. Strike one.
“I don’t have any of my things.” Someone knocked on the door, Jin moving around to reveal a man holding onto your bag making you rest your head back against Yoongi’s shoulder, trying to think.
“Look, your bag is right here.” Strike two.
“You guys must be really busy. I don’t want to bother you or anything…” Your last hope to weasel your way out of the situation was destroyed by Taehyung, his smile wide as he counters your words.
“Actually, we planned for you to come with us anyways. We have the next couple of weeks free. You know, we don’t want the soul pain to start.” Taehyung has his own moment of satisfaction as he sees your face pale at his words, knowing all of your plans to leave were thwarted by him. 
Fuck, you cursed.
How in the world did you forget about the soul pain period?
It’s not my fault! I forget a lot of things.
Well, now you can’t be more than a couple feet from them without immense pain. Good job.
You had completely forgotten that when a bonded person meets their soulmate or soul group, completely, for the first time, the string snaps together, leaving each person with only a few feet of leeway to move away. It could last for several days or weeks, depending on the bond and how many people are connected. With your luck and how the universe seems to be against you, you guessed it would be months before you were able to leave.
Strike three and you’re out.
-*-*-
You pouted the entire way to the boy’s home, unable to move even an inch from Yoongi’s arms without the slight pain tugging at your chest making you groan out and want to gouge your heart out. How dare your body do this to you?
The boys, on the other hand, were all making bets on how long you would try to fight them. They could tell this was just some sort of defense mechanism and were all building their own individual plans to make you theirs. They knew it was only a matter of time before you were seeking them out.
“Welcome home, baby.” Jin smiled down at you as he unlocked the door. It made your insides tingle and made your head hurt all at the same time. For a second you couldn’t remember why you were fighting against this, everything becoming jumbled together in your head. You couldn’t remember the fear you felt for the bond, the trauma from your last relationship almost disappearing from your mind as Jin smiled at you.
Your thoughts were forgotten when Namjoon placed his hand on your back, helping you inside, through the living room and down the hallway until you appeared at the entry of a room with a very large, wall to wall bed. It looked like the comfiest cloud of softness you had ever seen.
You were practically melting at the idea of being able to lay in the soft warmth you could only imagine you would feel.
“Why don’t you get changed, baby.” Jungkook couldn’t help but smirk at your face, the way it changed from adoration to a deadpan as you looked up at him.
“I’m not changing in front of you.”
“Baby, I can almost guarantee you’re going to want to strip in front of me eventually…if it’s not me undressing you.” Jungkook retorted, smirk growing into a devilish grin as your eyes narrowed.
“You wish I would undress for you.” You snap back, trying to take a step back only for the tug to bring you closer than before. This makes Jungkook’s grin widen.
“Baby, it’s not a wish.” Jungkook pushes further, an inch away from being able to steal a kiss from your lips, and boy was he tempted!
Until he noticed the fear behind your eyes, causing him to step back and turn around. He was mortified! You had thought he was going to force himself on you?! He needed to talk to the others, but how were they going to do that when the soul tug was active?
When you were finished changing into the oversized shirt and shorts, you timidly tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder.
“I’m uh, I’m changed now.” Your entire demeanor had shifted, flashback after flashback trying to steal your vision as you forced yourself not to shake. You were scrappy, you knew that, but only to defend your own mind from what it saw as a threat. 
You could not put yourself in a position to be vulnerable again. (But you also didn’t want to let on that anything was wrong. You couldn’t have that conversation. Not right now, hopefully not ever.)
“I’m sorry if I pushed you. I was only teasing.” Jungkook tried to apologize, his hand reaching out to grasp onto your arm but you flinched away from him, the soul tug allowing you a few feet leeway.
“It’s uh, it’s okay.” You rushed out, trying to end the conversation before you could imagine where it would go. But Jungkook was observant, and he could practically feel the pain in your heart. Something happened. Something that had you flinching away and fighting a soul bond.
And he had a bad feeling about it.
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bluemari23 · 15 days
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inspiration || min yoongi
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summary: you had been called to your soulmates studio for "inspiration" and walked into an unexpected but not unwelcomed situation. pairing: yoongi x reader genre: smut warnings: mr tongue technology himself, pussy eating, clothes ripping, face sitting, overstimulation masterlist
To be honest, you're not exactly sure how you got into this position. You were just supposed to come to the studio to help your boyfriend with his mental block. You were just supposed to come and give him inspiration. That was it.
"C'mon baby girl." You looked at your boyfriend, laying down on the couch in his studio. He was motioning you toward him, his hand waving you in his direction.
"Hi baby. What do you need me for?" You can't help but ask him, not sure what inspiration you can be for him and his music. You didn't feel inspirational and was confused by his text message.
"Come here baby. Come sit." You slowly move forward, now noticing the smirk on Yoongi's lips, knowing he was up to something.
Once you make it close enough, Yoongi pulls you forward, towards his face until you have to catch yourself on the top of the couch. You were know kneeling over his chest and had a good idea of what your boyfriend wanted you to do.
"Yoongi, this is your studio. What if someone comes in?" You try to talk your way out of it, not exactly feeling comfortable knowing anyone with the code could come in.
"Don't worry baby." Yoongi groans out as he rips the bottom of your leggings, your underwear now on display. "I locked the door with my phone when you came in. No one will see my pretty baby while I pleasure her."
You don't even have a chance to say anything else before he rips your underwear as well and pulls you to his mouth.
You squeal at the feeling of his lips on you as he groans at the taste of you finally on his tongue.
Yoongi had been having an off day, really. He had a deadline for the song he was working on, and couldn't come up with anything worthy of having the stamp 'Produced by Suga" on it.
He couldn't help but to think of you, knowing his best songs that are beloved by Army were thought of when he was with you. So, he texted you, already coming up with a way to get the inspiration he needed.
Plus, he loved being with you and watching your face when you come on his tongue is his favorite thing.
"Yoongi" You whine out, moving one of your hands to grip at his hair, pulling it as you writhe on his tongue. He only moans at the feeling of you pulling his hair, moving his tongue up your slit to suck at your clit.
"Please please please" You plead, not even knowing what you were asking for, but Yoongi did. He knew exactly what you wanted and always knew how to caress your body to the tune of his inner song.
He moved back a little, giving you a little reprieve before diving back in, licking a long stipe up your slit before moving back down, pressing his tongue against your cunt, in and out while his nose nudged against your slit. He knew you loved when he did this, the stimulation helping you to orgasm.
He helped you move your hips, riding his lips as he tried to prolong your orgasm, loving the sounds you made. He could practically feel your thighs quaking against the sides of his head.
This- this was the inspiration he needed.
Once the overstimulation kicked in, he pulled you back, your tired body now sitting and falling onto his chest from exhaustion.
"Thank you baby. That was just what I needed." Yoongi sighed out, helping you to actually lay on his chest and pulling the blanket he kept on the couch over you.
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casuallyimagining · 8 months
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Set Me Free || myg (teaser)
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Summary: Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to? Word Count: TBD (at least 10k. unclear if this is a one-shot or not) Genre: friends to enemies to lovers, supernatural au, witch & familiar au, soulmate au, angst, fluff, more to be added Warnings: death of a parent (brief mention), drinking, soulmate breakup, more to be added
Notes: I don't really know when I might be posting this. I'm still in the process of writing it, but it feels about halfwayish done, and I'm excited about it, so I wanted to share!
teaser under the cut
“Maybe this way of life isn’t for everyone. Maybe not everyone wants their whole existence to be predetermined at birth. Maybe not everyone wants the universe to choose who they’re supposed to be with and how they’re supposed to live.”
His words stung, and until then, you weren’t quite sure why. Rejection. Not just of how you lived, and who he was, and how things had always been. But of you. Yoongi was your familiar, you were destined to be together in some way since you were toddlers and the bond gem first appeared. Not all witches and familiars were in romantic relationships–your parents were, sure, and Yoongi’s parents–but plenty of them had other partners, lives separate from each other. Platonic soulmates navigating the world together.
Until a few months before, you’d been content with that. There was no doubt you’d been best friends from the jump. You’d been practically inseparable through school. Then, months before, he’d kissed you at the winter market. Right there in the park, under the aurora. Before that, you hadn’t thought of him as any more than your best friend. But the kiss had unlocked something inside you. And now…
Now he wanted you gone. 
“You want to be free that badly?” By some miracle, your voice sounded positively venomous, even though you felt like you could crumble at any moment. “Fine.”
“Wh-”
The chain around your wrist snapped easily when you wrapped your fingers around it. The incantation meant to keep the bond gem safe became meaningless as soon as you wanted it gone. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been without it around your wrist. You loved it, with its gem of swirling, inky black and navy blue. It reminded you so much of Yoongi, deep and calm and unwavering. 
Without a word, you tossed the bracelet to the ground. Yoongi’s eyes widened as it hit and the jewel cracked. For good measure, you stepped on it, crushed it into dust. There was a pitiful swirl of blue magic that puffed up from the dirt. When you moved your foot, there was nothing left of the bond gem or its chain.
“What the fuck?” Yoongi’s eyes were glassy when you finally looked at him. He looked almost as crushed as you felt. “What the fuck?”
“You’re free.” And this time, you couldn’t hide your sadness behind your anger. 
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I am very curious to know your thoughts on this. I'm so fucking excited to post. stupid grad school is getting in the way of me being able to devote 100% of my time to it, but god I'm trying so hard to get it done.
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daichiduskdrop · 9 months
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˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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Chapter 06
Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader
Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Strangers to lovers,
Warnings: Slight implications of rape
Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie
Words: 3512
Previous:
⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *
Pulling you closer to his body the pack alpha started to calmy walk towards the underground parking lot exit. Hearing the locking sound of the door he didn't bother to turn around, instead focusing on you fully. 
Your eyes were pretty much completely closed, only fluttering from time to time. With the light too harsh on them you let a soft whine leave you, and grabbed closer on Namjoons t-shirt, burrowing your face in the crook of his neck once again. 
„It's okay babypup, just rest for some more now.” He said, his voice calming to your ears, further settling you down. As an omega it was very normal for you to sleep more than any different second genders do. Used to resting for over 11 hours a day you were always sleepy. 
While you enjoyed being able to fall asleep so quickly in many scenario's, it was also greatly inconvenient in others. Whenever you had to pull an all-nighter for the final exams at school it was very annoying. 
You didn't really like the taste of coffee, plus pretty much any caffeine or even theine was just a terrible thing to drink for any omegas. A light fruit tea was okay, since it doesn't include any of the actual theine, but anything bit stronger like a pure matcha tea could be bit problematic sometimes. 
You didn't always struggle with the different foods and drinks that could potentionally be harmful for you, but from time to time you really didn't check what was included out of laziness and ended up terribly sick. It was just a curse that came with your second gender. 
You were used to having long hours at school, getting up to be there by 8 and leaving some time during the afternoon, sometimes you had to stay behind to finish your work up. So if you were still really sleepy in the morning, it was quite normal for you to eat something to replenish your energy at least slightly. 
The university you went to wasn't very quiet since all second genders were allowed to study in it, so you weren't really able to relax there most of the time.
You loved the school in a way but it also brought great troubles for you. Whenever you told anyone about the school you frequently visited, they usually looked down at you from then on.
You of course understood very well that art is less important to people and humanity than doctors and nurses, lawyers or even teachers, but there was just something about it that always called for your name since you were young. 
You used to draw for fun when you were small, while you were still a part of your old pack. Your family supported you when you were still young, but as you got older and your relationship with art didn't fade they would start to get more upset. 
Yea, you were an omega which often had hard times getting into more serious industries like education and health services, management or even office and administrave support. For those a lot of the time only betas and sometimes even only alphas were allowed to work at.
So with only a few different options for your future, you decided to pursue your early dreams even when it brough a great disappointment for your pack. 
It was quite welcomed to have omegas not work at all in the more traditional packs, and if you were in a modern one it was often that the omegas worked as librarians or maybe personal shoppers too if they didn't mind the crowds and loudness the malls often carried. It was usual to work as a babysitter too.
If you were an omega that wanted to work these were the well welcomed options, easy to maintain and keep track of, so the pack always knew about theirs omegas well-being.
Even if the pack was very modern thinking regarding the set rules, there was absolutely no way any alpha in their right mind would allow their pack's omega out of sight and not know about their plans and whereabouts. 
Some people were just dangerous, and so letting your omega go somewhere on their own, even if they wanted to do so very badly was a very risky act noone wanted to fully admit to. 
It was often times other alphas that brought the biggest dangers, usually after being rejected by the lowest second genders that didn't accept their packbound.
Feeling sour they just start to hate them more and more and if any omega comes in sight without being protected by their pack it happens sometimes that they let their anger out. Doesn't matter which is the way for them to do it. 
For such reasons it's more than normal for anyone of the pack to be with their omega most of the time. You are going to try on that dress now? Okay, I will wait next to the changing rooms. You want to refill your cup? Here, I'll do it for you, you just wait with the others. 
With how rare it is for omegas to fully accept a forming bond and become a part of it, the packs are more than ready to cherish them like the finest gems. 
Namjoon too was very keen and felt a deep satisfaction in keeping you close around. His pack was a more modern one with how there were no betas around, but suddenly, he felt very on edge with all the different people passing by. 
Holding the doors open with his foot, he waited for the rest of his pack to go through before he closed it. One palm over your head he held it close and snuggled up against his scent gland. 
He realised how you needed any rest you could finally get. With how unscented you were, even before arriving to their home, he knew there was most likely noone in your life to properly have you as a part of a pack. 
So it was only natural for you to feel the need to rest even more than usual, after being able to let go of any worries and let your guard down for once. 
They were more than ready to do that for you, keeping you well and safe at all costs. His whole pack was very important to him and came first under any scenarios, but now that they had you they were interested in, you were quick to become one of the highest priorities for each of the alphas.
It was very normal for omegas or even betas to take liking to a new pack they just discovered, getting attached quickly and easily. 
So if both of the parties were interested, there was no harm in slight rushing. It wasn't considered that in the modern society, absolutely typical and usual since it happened oh so very often. 
Stepping up the few stairs that led to the mall entrance, the pack walked close together. Their steps rang out in the quiet concrete corridors, the piping on the ceiling left uncovered. A few graffiti tags were here and there but the light was bright and there was noone around, so there wasn't anything to worry about.
Entering already inside of the roudy building, Namjoon slowly lowered you to the tiled floors. Your eyes opened up again, but it wasn't long until you were once again reaching for his neck, your small fingers latching on the t-shirt he had under the dark coat.
„It's okay, princess. You can sleep more later, yeah? Let's get some food in your stomach. What would you like to have? There is a big food court on the second floor; should we go look?” Jimin was quick to step in; he could notice how the pack alpha's facade was going down and how his eyes went soft again.
They would never mind carrying you, in public or not; it was very normal to do so with omegas, but since you weren't necessarily theirs yet, they didn't want to cross any boundaries you had.
With how sleepy you still were, they didn't want you to feel embarrassed later on. And so to avoid having that happen, Taehyung and Jin both took one of your palms in theirs and started leading you towards the escalators.
You didn't come to this mall often—pretty much never at all. It was quite far from your home and was in a more noisy area since it was usual for tourists to come in here.
Still, the alphas led you with ease, with Jimin at the front and Namjoon walking behind you, keeping everyone in sight. Walking alongside a big grocery store, a café, and a stationary shop, you felt many scents that were new to you.
Reminding yourself, you remember the thing that got you into this place at first: the medication prescription you didn't get. Looking up at Jin's face, you thought about asking them for help at that moment, but with how much distress you must have caused them already, you just decided to let it be for now.
The eldest went first on the lifting stairs, pulling you behind him and stepping to the left. You stayed on the step after him, and with Tae doing the same, the three of you were left in a small row.
The hanging banners above you were advertising new burgers, a makeup collaboration with an idol, and a new clothing collection in one of the many boutiques in this mall.
After you all piled out from the stairs, you walked towards the big food court right in front of you. There were many sitting spots; some were kept in enclosed booths, and other small tables were left in the open. Some of them were left occupied by customers, but most of them were still empty.
There was a big selection of different fast foods and restaurants you could get your food from, many of whose names you didn't recognise. There was a big McDonald's that you, of course, were familiar with, but the other restaurants like Shake Shack or Cushara were ones you never really heard of.
Letting yourself be tagged along, you allowed Jimin to select an enclosed booth that had dark maroon sofa-like seats. The space was definitely large enough for the whole pack to fit in, so the alpha chose well.
Jin sat down first, followed closely by you and Tae. Namjoon, looking at the different options, turned away slightly from you. You noticed Jimin typing on his phone; he was leaning against the side of the short, built-up walls. He looked up when the pack alpha eventually turned back towards all of you, though.
„What would you guys like to get? I'm thinking Panda Express might be a good choice, but we can go for something else if you want to. What would you like to have for lunch cub?" Looking at you, he watched your face, noting the small facial expression changes.
„Yoongi just texted me that they are on the bottom floor, so they should be here in a minute or so.” Jimin mumbled, his eyes glued back to the screen as he typed again.
„Alright, let's wait for what they want to order then.” Answered Namjoon once again before he slid into the seat next to Jin. On the booth table, there was laminated paper that had a list of the most popular foods from each dining place available at the spot. Picking it up, Tae held it up so you could see too.
„Let's look together, babycheeks. Here, they even have an omega-safe food list; that's really clever. Let's see..” Reading over the list closely, the man looked for the foods with the small label next to the names, marking them as fully safe because they were mild in spices, not too high in sugar, and usually not fried either.
Leaning in to look yourself, you hesitantly pointed towards the 'orange chicken' listed next to the small panda express label. You never had it but since you were a big tangerine lover, you felt like it could be quite tasty. 
„Could I get that please?“ You mumbled, looking up at Taehyung's face for a bare second. Sitting up slightly, he went over the contents of the meal.
„I'm not sure babycheeks. How about we get you something else instead. Do you want chicken and rice? Here, there is a 'grilled teriyaki chicken' listed, does that sound good, sweet baby? We can get you some rice with it too; the brown steamed rice here is extra tasty.”
Lightly trying to steer you towards a different decision, you looked back at the menu, and he was right. Next to the options he just told you about was the tiny symbol you had to look for constantly.
„But I wanted the orange chicken, please,” you said, looking into Taehyung's eyes. He couldn't bring himself to hold your gaze for much longer. He could feel his heart practically break with how he had to tell you no, even after you asked so nicely.
He was proud of you for telling him what you wanted, even if it was a simple meal from a restaurant. He knew more than well how that could be so tricky sometimes.
„Baby I know, but it could really be bad for your tummy. I don't want you to get sick. Come here, let's look at the other options together.” His voice was softer than usual, and even when he spoke with a deep tone, he always tried to soften it up for your ears.
With one of his arms going around your left, he lightly pulled you closer to him so your thighs were touching. Leaving his palm at your shoulder, he occasionally rubbed your shoulder blade in small circles.
When you could smell the light scent of rain and the forest's smell of citrus and flowers, you looked up almost immediately. The three alphas were walking around the tables, careful not to bump into anyone or anything as they walked in your direction.
You were glad to see them after a few hours of their absence, so you were quick to climb out of the booth before you took the few last steps in their direction. Jungkook walked first, and that meant he was the first to have his hands on you, pulling you to his chest.
Breathing in the soft aroma he brought, you smiled lightly, feeling content. With how dependable omegas often get, it was more than healthy for you to be around the whole pack at once.
„Did you miss me, baby? I missed you lots and lots.” The man mumbled lightly, his face hidden behind the face mask. Lightly patting the back of your head, he wanted to hold you for longer, but unfortunately, the situation wasn't ideal.
„Yah, Kook-ah, let me have her for a minute too. Stop hogging her up!” Hobi's voice was loud, just as it usually is. Pulling away from you slightly, before the other alpha had time to react, you were quickly snatched away. It wasn't Hoseok who took you; it was Yoongi.
Sneaking around the other table, he didn't bother to wait for you. Instead, the alpha didn't waste any time before his arms pulled you to his chest once more. Lightly rubbing his chin over the top of your head, he felt content with you around.
„My kitty. How are you? Did you have a nice time at the shops? Should we go buy some more stuff later?” Feeling shy, you let him pull away to watch your face.
„Yea, Tae and Jimin bought me a lot of stuff. I'm very thankful.” You whispered softly, still feeling a bit overwhelmed with how quick they were to spend so much money on you. They didn't hesitate.
„..That's good, that's really good, I still think-” Cutting his elder with no problems, Hobi snaked his arms around your waist, also hugging you. You looked up at his face and were greeted by the biggest smile ever.
„Little cub, I'm so glad to see you. You looked so nice in the clothes. Here, sunshine, let's go eat now, yea?” Pulling at your hand, he let you take a seat before he himself sat down. This time, you had Jungkook and Hobi keeping you company.
With the other pack members greeting themselves, Namjoon didn't waste much time before he handed them the menu. Most of them were getting ramen noodles and settled on sharing theirs with you.
You were getting the grilled teriyaki chicken Taehyung recommended, but you really didn't feel like getting brown rice, so you stuck with the usual white one.
Standing up, most of the alphas left to go order and pay for the food, but when you tried to stand up, you were quick to be pulled back to your seat by the youngest.
„No babybun, stay here with me for now. Tell me about today, hm?” It was very easy for the whole pack to finally allow their second gender to fully control them and take over. There was just something so deeply satisfying for them about having you to constantly care for and having someone fully depend on them for once.
It was a breath of fresh air; they didn't even realise how much they had actually pushed off their wants the whole time before you came about.
BigHit did offer the chance of hired packomegas, which were usually there for the ruts the alphas went through twice a year. They never worked well for the pack, though; oftentimes they tended to get along great with one but argue so much with the other. So after their earlier years, which arrived after their fresh debut, they just stopped letting the company look for packomegas completely.
„But the food? There is a lot; I should help." Your voice was worried as you looked in the direction they left.
„Babybun, it's alright really. They can do it well, okay? Just stay with me right now. Tell me about where you guys went?” Jungkook knew that they were more than capable of carrying all the foods and was just the slightest bit worried about you spilling something; the possibility of you getting burnt just didn't sit well with him.
„Okay.. if you are sure.. We went to Dior; I tried on a bunch of stuff too." You murmured, finally looking at Jungkook. His eyes were wide and bright, fully set on your form.
Talking about the trip you took with the packmates, you skipped over the whole buying ordeal; you didn't feel like worrying the youngest alpha too.
„What were you doing?” You hesitated to ask, still very shy around them. You could see how he smiled widely at your question. He couldn't help himself though; you were just too cute.
„I was at the studio; I was finishing up my part of the song with Yoongi, and Hobi was there to work on a part of one dance. We had some stuff to sign, too. It's very boring stuff, my baby; don't worry about it, okay?”
Only nodding lightly, you looked at your lap. You could hear him lightly giggle next to you; the laugh was airy and sweet. Cooing at you, he brushed your cheek softly, making you look back at him.
„How about you tell me more about yourself now? What about your pack?”
It was sudden, you could feel dread start to consume you, and from the bottom of your toes, you felt your muscles tighten. Gulping, you looked away.
You didn't have a nice past; with how your pack abandoned you, it was easy to know so. Usually left alone, you lived a very sad life. Still, sometimes you feel joy come from small things. Those moments did help from time to time.
Even if you tried to cover up the sudden change of mood, the alpha was quick to notice. It was one of his second gender's charms—the ability to quickly notice any atmosphere changes.
Moving quickly, his warm hands went around your shoulders before he pulled you closer, your tights touching.
„Baby, it's okay; we don't have to do that if you don't want to talk yet. It's alright, babybun, don't worry, yeah?" His eyes were desperately looking for yours, but with no success. Tears sprung up suddenly too, furthering the sudden despair he felt.
Desperate to make you feel better, to calm you back down. You were doing so well today, and he didn't want it to go wrong for you so suddenly.
When the first tear fell and he could start to really smell the sadness in your naturally soft and sweet aroma, he knew something was seriously wrong.
He didn't waste any more time before he pulled you to his chest, fully squishing you against him. Your soft sobs followed soon too, only furthering his worry. In the corner of his eye, he could see all of his packmates coming back towards him, their pace urgent.
„Sh,sh, shh, babybun, don't cry; it will be okay. We are here now, cub. Come here, and let me hold you for now. You'll be okay.” Lightly hiccuping, you let the alpha sway you from side to side slowly, his scent worried and heavy.
⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *
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interesting-interludes · 10 months
Text
the comforts of creatures (5)
creature comforts:
↳ material/bodily comforts, such as food, warmth, or special accommodations, that contribute to physical ease and well-being
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→ pairing: ot7 x fem.reader
→ genre: supernatural!au, soulmate!au, hurt + comfort + recovery, angst with a happy ending, fluff, eventual smut
→ word count: 4.8k
→ summary: you learn what you are, and your reaction is far from what they expected. as they try to help you feel safe, the boys learn about your triggers, and they try their hardest to help in any way they can.
→ trigger/content warnings: PTSD (self-loathing, mistrust, flashbacks/nightmares) effects of brainwashing, lil’ bit of lore, overt and internalized racism/species-ism (?), vomiting, anxiety, mentions of starvation/food poisoning, mentions of physical abuse, dissociation, mentions of torture, aversion to touch, mc pushes jimin but he’s okay, jimin is an angel, facial/body scars, body dysmorphia/repulsion
→ a/n: thank y’all for your patience :) here’s some more hurt before the comfort lol
past part ← series masterlist → next part
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part 5: scars and soothers
“This is you.”
The man is pointing at a detailed image drawn in faded ink. The rest of the page is filled with scripted text and anatomical diagrams.
You can’t look at first, scared of what you’ll find.
When you finally do, you don’t know what to think. There’s the thought that he’s kidding, he’s lying. He can’t be serious.
The drawing is of a creature with tawny-feathered wings extending magnificently in the air. It has the body of a powerful big cat, muscular yet elegant. Its four legs end in sharp-taloned feet. Its neck is framed by a golden mane, looking like a big frilly collar. The mane’s trail travels down the creature’s chest and back, ending in a flowing tail. It has the face of a lion, with white whiskers and deep yellow eyes, yet the regal posture of an eagle.
A diagram off to the left shows the inside of its mouth, lined with row upon row of sharp teeth and protruding fangs.
Looking back up, you search the faces of the men around you. None of them appear to be joking.
You can’t speak.
You’re one of them, one of the creatures they all despised. The creatures that roam the wild lands for easy prey, spreading carnage wherever they go.
No wonder they hated you so much. You’re not even human.
A few silent, involuntary tears fall from your eyes, which are locked back on the page. You wipe them away hastily.
The boys don’t know how to react, all looking at each other with concern.
“What...” you squeak out, voice choked. “What is it?”
“A gryffin,” Yoongi replies. “You’re a shifter.”
Something gurgles in your stomach. You clench your teeth, nails digging deep into the meat of your thighs.
You believe him. You don’t want to, but you believe him. You’ve always felt less than human, like something wasn’t right about you. Like something was just beneath the surface, clawing its way up.
Now you know why.
Jungkook, who’s sitting closest to you, slowly, cautiously puts his hand on your shoulder in an effort to comfort you.
But you flinch at his touch, jerking away.
You don’t catch the look of hurt that flits across his face. He knows you can’t help it, but it still stings to think that his touch physically repels you.
“What did they tell you about atypicals?” Namjoon presses, trying to shift your attention so you won’t look so disheartened by the reality of what you are.
From the way you look at him, he knows that you’ve never heard that word before. Or at least you don’t remember it.
“Atypicals are anything that falls out of the humanic species,” he explains patiently.
Your face scrunches in confusion.
“Humanic as in human,” he elaborates.
You don’t understand why he’s talking like that. You’ve never heard these terms before. In the place you came from, the “facility,” anything that wasn’t human was an abomination, a mistake in the eyes of nature.
Simple as that.
But here, things seem to be a bit more complicated.
Nausea is starting to bubble in your gut. You breathe carefully through your nose as you consider Namjoon’s question.
“They said...” you begin hesitantly.
They’re all on the edge of their seats, desperately wondering what those bastards brainwashed you to believe about their kind, your own kind.
“They said that they were monsters.”
Another pang of hurt thrums through their hearts.
“That...that they deserved to be hunted down like dogs.”
They can hear the pain in your own voice, either from witnessing their cruel behavior, or from realizing that you’ve been the target of it this whole time.
Your stomach churns.
“They said I wasn’t even worthy to lick the ground they walked on.”
They can all hear you choking on your tears, despite your attempts to hide it.
Jimin and Jungkook feel like their chests are going to burst from holding it in, both the sorrow they feel for you and the urge to rush forward and drown you in affection.
Jin and Namjoon have storms raging inside their heads. Namjoon is calculating, trying to decode what exactly their motive was and how to use it to track down the ones in charge of it all. Jin’s mind is reeling with ways to undo the damage they’ve done, mentally and physically.
Yoongi is swimming waist-deep in despair. He can’t help but think of what’s to come. You’ll have to relearn everything. How to shift, how to fight, how to cast. That is, if you even want to.
You feel the newly strung tension in the air, looking like you just realized you said all of those things out loud.
One look around the room, and your newly found voice retreats deep into your throat.
The man called Namjoon, his eyes have darkened, jaw clenched and ticking like he’s grinding his teeth.
The one who tended to your wounds is sitting stiffly in his chair, staring ahead with a new sharpness in his face.
The small dark-haired man has his hands clenched, prominent veins crawling up his arms.
You duck your head down, body stiff with nerves.
“You have to know,” Yoongi begins, voice calm as ever despite the rage just below the surface. “That’s not how most people think. Especially not here.”
Here in the North Regions, atypicals make up the majority of the population. Law enforcement, government, and public works are largely run by them, and prejudice is rarely an issue.
But how could you know that now?
They can all see the change. It’s almost instantaneous, the way your face shifts and loses all semblance of emotion. Just like that, the mask is back up.
Then there’s something else. A slight twitch from your nose, a well-hidden shudder. They can see your throat bobbing.
For a few seconds, it looks like you’re about to say something. Your tongue is moving inside your mouth, and you’re blinking rapidly.
Namjoon is about to utter some gentle encouragement, but a jolt racks through your body, making you hunch over.
All of a sudden you’re vomiting up everything you just ate.
Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin can’t help but jump to their feet, panicked noises filling the air.
Taehyung’s eyes widen. All his limbs go rigid, paralyzing him in his seat. He feels sick himself.
Jin, Namjoon, and Yoongi all look at each other.
Yoongi thrusts into action, heading to the kitchen with Jungkook in tow since he isn’t good around pungent-smelling things.
Namjoon starts giving instructions. Jimin, paper towels. Hobi, get the mop. Said men jolt into action, scrambling to do whatever they can to help.
Jin’s eyes have been fixed on you for some time now, catching your every move, including all the suppressed flinches and tremors.
He’s at your side in an instant, on his knees to try to catch your eyes. But it’s no use, you’re squeezing your eyes shut like you’re expecting to be hit.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he mutters in his gentlest voice. “It’s no big deal. No one is upset with you.”
As much as he wants to, he refrains from touching you right away.
Eyes still tightly shut, you flinch away from the sound of his voice, twitching with anxiety.
Jin can see you start to spiral, so he does the only thing he knows will work.
“Hey,” he begins, voice firmer than it was before. “Look at me.”
Your eyes snap open, shining with moisture.
“That’s my girl,” Jin says before he can help it. “You’re going to calm down for me, yeah?”
Your eyes desperately search his face, looking for any sign of anger or deception. You find none, not even a hint of disgust, and your breathing starts to slow.
All that’s there is the man who tended to your wounds, watching you with those patient eyes. His handsome face is calm, attentively anticipating whatever you need right now.
Sweat gathers on your skin. That same sensation crawls up your throat, saliva pooling in your mouth.
Jin notices the signs immediately.
“Come with me,” he orders softly, putting a light hand on your back and leading you to the nearest bathroom.
You don’t know what to do with yourself.
You remember vomiting a few times at the facility. Once from eating a rotten vegetable, the mold making it impossible to identify. And once when a handful of keepers had held you down, repeatedly punching you in the stomach, until you gave in and called yourself a mutt.
Both times you were severely punished for making a mess. You learned to hold it in your mouth and swallow it down after that.
Jin guides you to kneel over the toilet. He keeps talking to you, but you only process half of what he’s saying.
“Go ahead, let it out,”
You can feel it creeping up, burning and sour. But something deeper, something almost instinctual, tells you to keep it down.
“Stop holding it in, sweetheart,” he says, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “It’s not good for you. It’s okay to let go.”
Before you can think to suppress it, another wave of nausea surges through your body. The crescendo of it makes you wretch, emptying the last of your stomach’s contents.
“Good, good, just get it all out,” he encourages instead of beating you until you can’t breathe.
The bile is bitter in your mouth, but not more bitter than the dread clinging to your entire being.
He’s not going to punish me, you finally realize. It’s almost an impossible thought.
For a moment, you stay hunched over, frozen. Not sure what to do next.
“Here, come wash your mouth out,” Jin says, helping you stand up on shaky legs.
The sound of running water rings in your ears. You feel the coolness against your tongue, but barely register that you’re the one cupping it to your lips. Numb. You feel like you’re controlling your body from the outside rather than the inside.
“Now, let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”
You look up at him for the first time in a while. His face is as kind as it was before, with the same full-lipped smile and warm brown eyes.
The man starts to lead you out of the room, that same gentle hand resting on your back.
It isn’t until then that you realize you’re still in the grimy clothes they found you in. And now the entire front of your shirt is stained with even more filth.
You glance into the living room as you pass through the hallway.
The other men are diligently cleaning the area you just soiled. The small dark-haired man and the muscular man are missing, though you can hear rustling from the kitchen.
The one with the jet black hair and bright face catches your eye, flashing a reassuring smile. It makes you rip your eyes away.
Jin guides you into the living room, and everyone immediately looks your way.
Shrinking, you’re shrinking into yourself as much as your body will allow.
“Someone run a bath,” Jin announces. “I think it’s time our little guest got some sleep in clean clothes.”
The fair-haired one steps forward and exchanges a subtle look with Jin, who’s standing slightly behind you.
“Would you follow me?” the shorter man says, holding out his hand.
It’s the one with the silver-gray hair and warm eyes. You think his name is Jimin. His face is soft and friendly. It asks a silent question: will you trust me?
You don’t take his hand, but you do take a step up the stairs in the direction he’s leading you.
You don’t catch it, but Jimin and Jin exchange a heartfelt glance, nearly ecstatic at the fact that you’re beginning to trust them.
Jimin leads you up the stairs as the rest of them settle things downstairs.
When you reach the top, he guides you down a spacious hallway that’s filled with potted plants and window light.
Every single door, down to the very end of the hall, is open. Whether it’s open wide or just a crack, not one of them is closed or locked. You’re not used to it.
The man, Jimin, stops at a door halfway down the hall and looks back to check if you’re still following him.
You stop a few feet away from him, still keeping your distance, but your expression is open and neutral, waiting on his next move.
He gives you a calm smile, and continues into the room with you behind him.
This room is just as bright and inviting as the rest of the house. White walls and clean tile floors, but this time with a large porcelain tub and a sink with marble countertops.
The man turns to look at you with a question in his eyes.
“Shower or bath?” he asks.
It’s a harmless question, a considerate question. But your mind is yanked back to that place.
Shower. A torrent of fire raining down on you, vision blinded by steam. It comes from every angle, unrelenting no matter how much you scream.
They would strip you down and lock you in a metal stall the size of a coffin. Then the dotted ceiling would unleash a downpour of near-boiling water.
You would bang on the walls, but the water made the metal surface just as hot, the floor burning the bottom of your feet. Minutes or hours they kept you in there, not letting you out until your body was covered in burn marks.
Bath. The most intense cold you’ve ever felt. It’s everywhere, submerging you up to the neck, seeping down to your very bones.
They would chain you down in a tub full of ice, nothing but your head poking out of the frigid water. The cold chains cut into your skin the more you struggled. Your lungs would heave from the shock of it, your whole body shivering violently.
Then they would hold your head underwater until you were bucking like a stuck pig. This went on until you were utterly exhausted, falling limp against the freezing porcelain with nothing but the tight chains holding you up.
You’re snapped back to reality when the man takes a step closer. He’s watching you closely, trying to read your face.
Finally remembering that he asked you a question, you shrug your shoulders and shake your head.
You don’t want either. You don’t want to be anywhere near that tub. You want him to leave you alone.
Jimin guesses that the gesture means you don’t care which one. He figures you’re most likely still weak from malnourishment, and he doesn’t want you fainting and hitting your head.
So he opts for a bath, turning on the faucet. He sits on the edge of the tub, hand under the spout to monitor the temperature.
The sound of running water makes every muscle in your body tense up. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.
It’s going to hurt, it’s going to hurt. The fire, the ice, it’s going to burn and sting and cut into your flesh. You won’t be able to escape it.
Jimin doesn’t notice it at first, too focused on adjusting the knobs to get the water not too hot and not too cold, but your breathing has picked up again.
You can already feel it filling your ears, your mouth, rushing down your throat as your head is held down. Your skin prickles from the heat, it quivers from the cold.
The water in the tub continues to rise, and you can’t move. Your body is frozen, feet rooted to the floor as the sound of sloshing roars louder and louder in your ears.
Halfway full, now. It’s coming any second. He’s going to turn on you, throw you down and hold you under.
Burning, freezing. It’ll hurt and hurt and hurt.
Jimin turns his head, and his stomach drops.
Your eyes are squeezed shut, lips pursed like you’re trying to bite back a scream. Fists clenched at your sides, shoulders trembling, as your chest heaves up and down.
Immediately, he jumps to his feet and rushes over to you.
“What is it, babe? What’s wrong?” 
Then he makes a big mistake. He puts his hands on you.
His touch is gentle, nonthreatening, nothing but two hands on your shoulders. But you don’t want it, you’re repulsed by it. Because touch always comes before the pain.
On instinct, your body jerks away, arms moving to push the unwelcome touch away, just get it away. Your hands collide against something, hard.
When you open your eyes, the man is on the floor. Sprawled on his back, looking up at you with wide, slightly watery eyes.
There’s shock plastered on both of your faces.
Jimin’s soft heart hurts a little, he can’t help it. In all the years he’s known you, loved you, you’ve never ever been repelled by him. But that hurt is soon drowned by guilt.
He scared you, he made you feel unsafe. You felt the need to protect yourself and it’s his fault.
You’re staring at your hands in horror, completely floored by what you’ve done. You’re in for it now. He tried to help you and you hurt him. Now they’re going to hurt you even more.
Several sets of pounding footsteps draw near. The others must have heard the thud from downstairs and rushed up to see what was wrong.
What they don’t expect to find is Jimin crumpled on the floor and you standing over him in a braced position, but that’s exactly what they see when they peer through the doorway.
They’re all a little astonished, Jin and Namjoon are thinking deeply, and something in Taehyung’s eyes shifts.
He isn’t proud of it, but a surge of protectiveness washes over him, for his Jimin. He knows it’s unreasonable, unfair even. But it’s still there. And he can’t snuff it out.
A new fear consumes you. You were insubordinate, you resisted. You know what comes next.
A sob gets trapped in your throat as you sink down to the floor, burying your head in-between your knees and using your arms to shield yourself.
Immediately, the same way Jimin did, they all rush forward to comfort you.
“No!” Jimin blurts out, making you flinch and shake violently. “Don’t touch, give her some space.”
They all obey, keeping their distance with concern flooding their features.
Jimin shifts onto his knees, scooting a little closer but still keeping enough away.
“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispers, like he’s talking to a wild, cornered animal. “It was my fault entirely. I shouldn’t have touched you. I’m truly sorry.”
Jimin’s voice has always been soothing, even in the darkest times, and your breathing slows a little.
Jimin realizes that the faucet is still running, and he reaches over to switch it off. Then it comes to him.
He turns back to your trembling form, still waiting for the pain to come.
“You’re scared of the water, aren’t you?” he asks gently.
He doesn’t expect you to reply, he just wants to let you know that he’s trying to understand you, to help you.
You nod slightly.
It shocks them all again. You’re becoming more responsive.
“I’m so, so sorry,” Jimin says with all the sincerity he can muster. “It’s not your fault. I promise I won’t do that again.”
Your shoulders gradually stop trembling, breath coming evenly now.
Jimin looks at his mates and gestures for them to give you some more space so you can calm down.
They all do as he says, except Tae. He lingers in the doorway, his piercing eyes flickering between you and Jimin, thinking.
The two men exchange a meaningful glance. Jimin gives him a reassuring smile and nods his head as if to say “There’s nothing to worry about. I got this.”
Tae gives a slight nod back and turns to leave, throwing one last look at you.
Jimin sees the hint of distrust hidden in that look. He files it away for later.
Turning his attention back to you, Jimin looks at the tub and thinks of a solution.
“You don’t have to get in the tub, okay? We can just...” Jimin opens the cupboard under the sink and takes out a handful of washcloths.
“Like this, see?” He dips one of the cloths in the water, using it to wipe down his face.
“Is that okay?” he asks.
You scan his face. Those big brown eyes are full to the brim with kindness, as if you didn’t just hurt him moments ago.
You nod.
Jimin smiles so big it almost hurts his cheeks, heart swelling as you hesitantly hold your hand open. He puts another cloth in your waiting palm.
“Okay, here’s the soap, shampoo, conditioner. You can wash your face with this. Use whatever you want, okay?”
You look at him, trying to convey with your eyes what your mouth can’t say. He stays there for a moment, sitting with you on the tile, answering your every question with just his expression.
It’s okay. You’re safe here. No one is going to hurt you. You can trust me. I understand you.
Breaking from his reverie, Jimin gets up and moves to leave.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” he says, swinging the door closed.
You shoot forward and grab the knob just before it shuts.
Jimin jumps a little, whipping back around. There’s confusion on his face, then understanding.
“Okay, we’ll leave it open just like this. I’ll be just outside if you need anything, okay?”
You feel the tension release from your chest, and nod back.
Another warm smile, and then he disappears into the next room.
He’s not going to lock you in. Another impossible realization.
Turning around, you stare at the full tub. Your heartbeat skitters a little, but you take a step towards it anyways.
When you dip your fingertips in the clear water, you expect it to be scalding, or cold enough to numb, but it’s neither. The water is warm and calm, it doesn’t burn, it doesn’t sting.
Another breath releases from your lungs.
You use the cloth and soap to wipe down your whole body, shedding your dirty clothes and tossing them aside. Soon the tub is cloudy from the dirt on the washcloth. You even dip your hair into the water and use a little shampoo to get some of the grime out.
You sit there and wash yourself until the water turns cold. Using the counter to steady yourself, you slowly come to a stand, even though your legs are aching.
The sight in front of you is enough to shock you into silence again.
You can’t remember the last time you saw your reflection. You wish you weren’t seeing it now.
The person in the mirror is ugly and pathetic. Her short hair is a mangled mess. Haphazardly cut with a pair of dull scissors, it sticks out in all different angles. Her eyes are blank and lifeless, red-rimmed and surrounded by dark circles. There’s a large, hideous scar across her left cheek, deep and forked like a flash of lightning.
Her body is weak and repulsive. Slouching forward, she’s barely able to hold herself up. She’s covered in scars and marks, all over her legs, her arms, her torso.
You know there are worse scars behind you.
Horrifically entranced, you slowly reach up to touch the scar across her face, your face. Your fingertips meet the textured tissue, and then there’s the pain.
It’s not a physical pain, it doesn’t originate from the scar itself. It’s a pain deep in your chest, spreading and infecting the rest of your body. It maims you, twists your insides, disfigures your soul.
You muffle the silent scream with a hand over your mouth. Knees buckling, you barely have any strength left to keep yourself upright.
You’re barely you. You don’t remember who you were before, but you know it wasn’t this.
A gentle knock on the door. 
You immediately stifle any signs of discomfort, snapping the mask back on with frightening accuracy.
Jimin’s arms poke through the gap in the door. He sets a bundle of clothes on the counter.
“Here you go," his pleasant voice says. “Please let me know if they’re comfortable enough.”
You wait a good twenty seconds before you reach for them. A warm green sweater and soft cotton pants.
You hurriedly slip them on to hide your disgusting body.
Leaning closer to the door, you try to hear beyond the wood. Hushed voices, muted footsteps.
“Ready, love?” a smooth voice sounds from just behind the door.
You flinch away, trying your best to make your hair look less unkempt.
It’s Jin who cautiously swings the door open, greeting you with an affectionate smile.
“Much better, hmm?” he says.
You manage a curt nod, following him with your head down to another room. 
It’s the room from earlier, the one with the massive bed. The rest of them are here waiting, muttering quiet words until you arrive. Then they go silent and set their eyes on you, asking a question you can’t understand.
Why are they all looking at you? You don’t like it, not at all. People who look like them shouldn’t look at someone like you. You’re wrong, inside and out.
They all notice the change. Now your eyes are trained on the ground, head bent and shoulders folding in on yourself like you wish you would disappear.
Jin ushers you towards the humongous bed, encouraging you to settle in under the covers. He tucks the comforter around your body, fluffing the pillows behind your head.
“There, nice and cozy,” he says, sounding satisfied for the time being. “Rest up, okay love? You’ve been through a lot.”
Why are they talking to you like that? You’re disgusting. They should be throwing you out on the streets to fend for yourself like a common rat.
The small dark-haired man kneels down next to you. He hands you a mug of steaming amber liquid, using the bed sheets to shield your hands from the hot surface.
“This should settle your stomach,” he says.
While Jimin was getting you cleaned up, Yoongi and Jungkook were hard at work cooking up a tincture for your nausea. Essence of lavender to help you sleep, peppermint to refresh your throat, a little ginger to ease your stomach, and some of Yoongi’s highest-quality potions to replenish your nutrients. And, of course, Jin stirred in a copious amount of honey to sweeten it up.
You hold the cup in your hands like it’s a ticking time bomb.
Yoongi looks at his mates in confusion and concern, not sure what to do. Jimin catches his gaze, and gestures wildly with his hands. He exaggeratedly mimics holding the cup and taking a sip, and then Yoongi understands.
He gently takes the mug from your hands and holds it up to his nose.
“Let me check if it’s too hot for you,” he says, blowing off some of the steam and taking a long sip. He makes sure to swallow with audible emphasis.
“Okay, it should be good,” he says, handing it back to you.
This time you hold it close to your chest like it’s a precious gem, slowly sipping away at the frothy liquid. 
They all look at each other with a relieved, triumphant expression.
Namjoon steps forward and leans down to level his face with yours.
“There’s water for you over there,” he gestures to a table in the corner, complete with a pitcher and cup. “And the bathroom is the next door over.”
You nod to show your appreciation, still avoiding eye contact.
Jin enters your field of vision again.
“Do you think you can hold down some meds?” he asks. It’s sincere, no seeming deception behind it.
But you still shake your head vehemently. You don’t want anymore pills. In fact, you don’t want to see another pill ever in your life.
“Okay, love,” he says, smiling again. “Just rest up for me. For us.”
You have no idea what he means by that, but you sink into the pillows anyway.
One by one they filter out of the room, casting a last look at you before they leave.
You wish they wouldn’t. Their eyes seem to leave even more marks on your skin.
The door starts to swing shut. Then someone mutters something, and it stops just before it closes completely. 
Footsteps recede, silence settles upon the room.
You manage a few more sips from the steaming mug, eventually setting it aside. The bed is soft and comfortable, but you can’t bring yourself to lie down. 
You sit there, watching shadows dart across the wall, for hours.
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a/n: thanks so much for reading!! if you enjoyed it please leave a comment on what you thought of the story/any questions it would mean the world to me!! and if you’re feeling extra generous, please reblog with tags it helps to spread the story around, thank you!! 💖
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angelicyoongie · 1 year
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lovesick (IX)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 11.4k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, dissociation/panic attacks, mild dub-con (character trying to force a kiss), other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late. — amazing cover by @leithold​!
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You pull a chunky sweater – Namjoon’s, you think – over your head, the thick wool settling heavily on your shoulders. It makes you want to crawl out of your own skin whenever you have to wear their clothes. You don’t have much of a choice, though, unless you want to freeze your ass off.
They thankfully had enough forethought to bring some of your clothes with them the night they broke into your apartment, but the majority of it isn't warm enough to fend off the dropping temperatures in the cabin. You may be many things, but stupid is not one of them. You know it wasn’t an accident that your warmest clothes were left behind.
You pick at the sweater, frowning, as you nip at it with your nails. You know it’s childish to ruin their things but it’s truly the only way you can act out without foiling your plans. Screaming at them won’t help you one bit and you need some form of outlet for your anger. By the time they pick up on all the tiny holes in their clothes, you’ll hopefully be long gone.
Standing in the middle of the room, you listen intently in the direction of your closed door. When the hallway remains silent, you dart over to your bedside table, carefully opening the heaviest book there. You pull out the thin metal bookmark that’s been nestled strategically between the pages, clutching it in your hand as you hurry over to the window.
You bend down, finding the place you left off yesterday before you resume digging it into the space between sash and the windowsill, slowly chipping away at the paint.
You found the bookmark completely by chance, having it literally fall into your lap a little over a week ago. It was the first time you had dared to touch your belongings after you woke up. Somehow, not touching your things made everything feel a little less real, like if you just wished hard enough, you would blink and find yourself back in your apartment where everything belonged.
But, after a week of pretending you didn’t want to throw up whenever one of your kidnappers brushed up against you, the craving for something familiar became too great.
The bookmark had felt like a godsend. Your heart had squeezed painfully as you remembered that Heejun had gifted it to you many years ago – how it was the first thing he bought after he received his first measly paycheck back when you were teenagers. Who would have thought it would end up being the only tool available to you to escape the stalkers you had so desperately tried to protect him from.
You drive the bookmark in with a huff, hitting the edge with your palm.
You’re pretty confident you’ve been trapped in this cabin for two weeks, give or take a few days. So far, sticking to your plan has been harder than you anticipated. It’s tough, acting like your skin doesn’t crawl when they try to hold your hand, or that your face doesn’t want to twist into a murderous scowl whenever they look at you. No matter how sweet or thoughtful they try to be, you can’t stop thinking about the things they’ve done – the torture they’ve been putting you through for the past year. Even if it goes against every fibre of your being to be around them, you know that this is your only way out. You have to make them trust you, make them comfortable enough to let their guards down, and that’s when you’ll be able to escape.
You never expected it to be easy – how could it be? – but the pretending is beginning to take a toll on you. You’re tired of being locked up, tired of being watched, tired of being around them. It’s a fatigue you can’t escape from no matter how much you try to sleep, and the constant weariness has caused a few near slip-ups already.
It made you unable to stop yourself from jerking away from Taehyung’s hand, despite hearing his footsteps coming up behind you in the hallway long before your arm was touched. It made you flinch when Yoongi stroked the top of your head in passing, even though you had seen him coming. It made your eyes narrow when Hoseok passed you a cup of perfectly normal water.
The weariness is faint, but it’s there.
And somehow, every time it breaches the surface, Jimin is always there to catch it.
He seems to particularly enjoy pushing your buttons. It might be because he knows, at least suspects, that you’re only acting, but Jimin always has a calculating look in his eye when he invades your personal space, when he pushes himself too close for comfort. He’s clearly not that easily fooled by your little act, but you have no clue how to convince him otherwise.
You wince as you hit the bookmark a little too hard, the metal leaving a deep indent behind on your palm.
You take that as your cue to stop chipping away for today, not willing to tempt fate by continuing and risk getting caught. After returning the bookmark to its hiding place, you step back to the window to sweep up the little chips of loose paint into your hand.
Sighing, you take in the sorry state of your precious plants, the poor things having browned and wilted from the increasingly colder temperatures in the cabin. You know there’s no way to save them now that they’re already half-dead, but the dark soil is still of use to you, especially since it proves to be a perfect cover for paint shavings.
You dust off your hands, gaze sweeping over your room to make sure nothing looks out of the ordinary. Deeming everything fine, you turn your attention to your closed door, squaring your shoulders as you listen to the muffled sounds coming from somewhere else in the cabin.
You can do this, you tell yourself, even though both your heart and mind screams no. Straightening yourself out, you glance back at your wilted plants as you open the door. Seeing the dead leaves makes your stomach twist uncomfortably.
The only thing you can hope, is that you’ll get out of here before you share the same fate.
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You stare down at the pastel yarn in your lap, fingers nimbly casting on another stich as you knit. You enjoy the mindlessness of it – of how you can let your mind wander while your hands work on their own. It's a hobby you picked up a few years ago by chance, when you were procrastinating writing a paper and ended up falling down the rabbit hole of watching people knit chunky blankets at two am. You’ve gotten decently good at it now, at least enough to know some basic recipes by heart.
A sudden huff on your left almost makes you lose a stitch.
You cast a quick glance over at Seokjin as the couch shifts, your own needles pausing as you take in the absolute mess he’s made of the yarn in his hands. Seokjin is pouting down at his creation, brows furrowed in deep concentration as he fumbles awkwardly with his knitting needles. Judging by the jumbled thread around his fingers, he’s just been creating knots for the past few minutes. The sight would’ve been endearing, maybe, if the situation was different. You can picture it a little too easily, how head over heels in love you could’ve been with Seokjin if he had approached you normally. How you would’ve swooned with fondness watching him try so hard to share your hobby with you.
You shake your head, casting the thoughts away before they can settle. It doesn’t matter what could have been when the reality is still this – you’re trapped in a cabin that’s god knows where because he, and the others, are crazy. Whatever weird thing they’re trying to pull by bringing you things you like and participating in your hobbies isn’t going to work. You know that biting your tongue and enduring their antics is an necessary evil, that spending time with them will only help you to better understand what makes them tick - but each passing day is only bringing you closer and closer to your breaking point.
“That doesn’t look right, hyung.” Hoseok chuckles as he walks past the couch, a steaming cup of tea in his hand.
He takes a seat on the opposite couch, pulling Jungkook’s feet into his lap. Jungkook is reading one of books Namjoon brought for you, his doe eyes suddenly growing big as he seems to get to particularly interesting plot point. You don’t think it’s a coincidence that he picked the same book you finished yesterday.
As is, you’ve been seeing a lot of them over the past few days.
The boys seem to have worked out a system, something that’ll help them keep up appearances and avoid bringing any suspicion to themselves. It sounded like Hoseok was the one that came up with the idea – of the boys grouping up to stay in the cabin in rotating shifts. Both Seokjin and Hoseok have employees to take over their shifts, Seokjin giving the excuse that he’s trying to branch out the business and thus needs to visit florist fairs out of town, and Hoseok simply stating he wants to take time off for himself now that the shop is doing well. Jungkook can mostly do as he pleases, it’s not like any of your professors take attendance, but you’ve heard him whining to Seokjin about doing extra shifts at Déjà Bloom to make up for the eldest absence.
It seems that Taehyung and Yoongi are established enough in their careers that they can work from home (or the cabin, rather) a few days a week, but you’ve heard them grumbling to the others that their presence is often needed in-house to finish up projects. Jimin, on the other hand, already works in shifts at the station, three days on, one or two days off. You don’t doubt he somehow managed to charm the other officers to give him the best shifts – they seemed willing to break their backs for him the times you visited the station.
It’s Namjoon you’ve seen the least to.
It’s not that surprising, not when he basically runs the local library by himself. He’s already ranted twice about how little support the library gets from the city, so you think it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t have the funds to hire another full-time worker to help him out. You should be glad that it doesn’t leave much time for him to come to the cabin, that he can only come up during the evening and stay until the morning after every now and then, but it only seems to leave him even clingier than normal. The cabin feels extra stifling whenever he comes to visit, with how he constantly hovers around you, holding your hands and hugging you close so that you don’t catch a cold, darling. It makes pretending you don’t mind it just a smidge harder every time.
“I’m trying my best! It’s harder than it looks.” Seokjin whines, hair flopping dramatically as he flings his head back.
You watch his throat bob, lips still pursed in a soft pout as he gently calls out to you, ”Y/n, can you please help me?”
You press your lips into a strained smile, sighing internally as you look at the knotted and lopsided creation in his hands. You don’t even quite understand how he’s managed to tangle it up so badly in such a short time, but the only help you can offer him at this point is just to unravel the whole thing to start anew.
“Sure, give it here.” You murmur.
Seokjin flashes you a sheepish grin as he hands the yarn over, the tips of his ears turning pink as you grimace at the mess. You pull the knitting needles out from the last remaining stitches, tugging on the yarn to find the first knot you’ll have to untie.
“You know you don’t have to force yourself to do this if you don’t enjoy it, right?” You say, staring down at the string as you work to loosen it up.
Honestly, it would be better for you if he didn’t. I do have to spend time with them, but you’d much rather just sit in awkward silence over being reminded of them every time you go to do one of your hobbies after you get out of here.
“I’m not forcing myself to do anything, angel, I want to learn how to knit. I might not be very good right now but I still enjoy it, because it means I get to spend time with you."
You don’t meet the lovesick gaze that burns into the side of your face.
Hoseok does an exaggerated shudder on the other couch, jostling Jungkook’s legs with the movement. ”You’re so sappy, hyung, you’re going to make me gag.”
Seokjin makes an affronted noise, chucking one of the pillows behind his back at Hoseok in retaliation. The pillow ends up veering too much to left, smacking right into the youngest’s head instead of his intended target. Jungkook startles at the impact, too absorbed in his book to even see it coming, shocked eyes blinking back at Seokjin as the pages slip from his grasp.
“What?–”
“Ah, Seokjin hyung, stop bullying Jungkook! The poor baby didn’t do anything wrong!” Hoseok snickers behind his hand as he fusses over Jungkook. He tucks some of Jungkook’s hair behind his ear, gently patting his cheeks to bring him back from the unexpected shock.
“Jungkook-ah, h-hyung didn’t mean it!” Seokjin stutters.
Drowning out their bickering, you turn back to the tangled mess in your hands as Jungkook uses the opportunity to tease Seokjin, joining Hoseok to gang up on him. Your brows furrow as you work on an especially difficult knot, the yarn tied so firmly you struggle to get a hold of it. You’re so focused that you almost don’t realize how the sound of Seokjin’s exasperated voice and Jungkook and Hoseok’s laughter makes your movements falter, heart squeezing in your chest.
You brush of the weird feeling immediately, refusing to linger on the implications as you chalk up the odd moment of weakness on your growing cabin fever.
By the time you’re almost completely done with unravelling Seokjin’s creation, you feel a gentle nudge on your arm. You glance up to find Seokjin already staring at you, his face lighting up as you meet his gaze.
“You know what, angel, I don’t think I ever got to tell you about the time I first saw you.”
You give him a weary look, already knowing you’re probably not going to like where this is going. ”What do you mean? The day at the flower shop?”
“No, the first time, Y/n.” Seokjin smiles, a little bashful. ”It was, eight – nine? months ago, when I was on my way home after closing the shop. It was weird, I ended up taking a completely different route than I normally do and I wasn’t even sure why. There was just this pull, an urge to follow this unknown feeling and figure out what it meant. It ended up leading me to a random grocery store and I suddenly knew there was something I desperately needed in there. I had no clue what it could be, but I figured it would come to me as I walked around.”
“I had almost made my way through the entire building when I finally rounded an aisle, and watched as some kid ran straight into your legs, knocking you over. I almost thought I was dreaming when I felt the pain in my own legs as you connected with the floor. I had already come to terms with never meeting my soulmate, and there you suddenly were, right in front of me.” Seokjin’s voice is thick with emotion, his eyes glossy as he reaches out to take your hand in his.
Because you have to, you allow his warm fingers to wrap around yours, letting it chase away some of the chill in the room despite the fireplace roaring with life close by.
Hoseok and Jungkook look enraptured by Seokjin’s story, and think you can see a faint tremble to youngest’s lips. His tale clearly resonates with the other two, and you have no doubt the others would react similarly if they were here to hear it. It makes you a little jealous, almost, how they get to have memories of relief and happiness over finding their soulmate, while yours is shrouded in terror and confusion.
Seokjin gives you an apologetic smile, squeezing your hand as he says, "I’m sorry I didn’t help you at the time, darling, I was just too shocked.”
“It’s okay.” You murmur, ignoring the what ifs vying for attention in the back of your mind.
There’s one odd thing about Seokjin’s story though, something you’ve never heard about happening between unknown soulmates before.
”You mentioned feeling a pull? What’s that about?"
You think Heejun mentioned how he felt drawn to Jaemin for a few weeks after they found each other the first time, like their soulbond was urging them to strengthen their newfound connection. But that was after. There was never a pull that lead them together in that library, it was only luck – coincidence.
“I’m not sure,” Seokjin admits. ”It was the first and last time felt anything like it.”
“I got that feeling too, that day at the charity event. I normally don’t involve myself in other people’s business, but the thought of not checking out what was going on made my heart ache.” Hoseok adds, a small frown on his face as he rubs his chest.
“Me too. I wasn’t supposed to be in that shared class with Y/n last semester. I had enough credits to drop it, but the thought of doing it made me feel really anxious. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack the one time I actually tried to withdraw from it.” Jungkook says, hesitant eyes flickering from you and Seokjin’s intertwined hands to your face.
“I never felt it, though.” You frown.
You would’ve known if you had, right? If they all had such strong reactions, then there’s no way you could’ve missed all the signs.
Seokjin hums, something contemplating crossing over his features as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. ”You’re not from around here, correct?”
Well, you’re definitely not from here, bumfuck nowhere in the middle of the woods. You bite back the snarky reply, knowing it won’t do you any good to voice it out loud. You’re sure Namjoon must’ve given them the rundown on everything he knows by now, especially with the extensive file he has access to, but since you’re trapped out here for god knows how long, you might as well humour Seokjin and play along.
“No. The city I grew up in is about two hours south by train.”
The three men all nod along like it’s new information, Seokjin even seeming a bit surprised. They would all make fine actors, you think.
“Why did you move here, then? If your friends and family were all back home.”
“The university is nice–”
Hoseok interrupts you with a tsk. ”The university in the next city over is miles better and you know it, sunshine.”
It is.
You even had the grades to be accepted there, if you had wanted to go.
“So? Why did you pick this specific university in this town?” Seokjin prompts, one eyebrow quirked.
You pause. Why did you pick this city to study in? Live in? It wasn’t the best option you had. Hell, the courses aren’t even that interesting compared to what’s offered at other universities. Heejun chose to join you after you had already made a decision, so it’s not like you can blame it on him, either.
“It … felt right.” You breathe.
That’s the only answer you have. There was just this feeling of rightness that washed over you when you settled on your current university, like this is where you were always supposed to be.
Seokjin looks pleased by your revelation, nodding his head as if to say there you go.
You feel yourself growing pale, heart racing and palms turning clammy as the truth slowly but surely sinks in. This entire time you had lived with the belief that the bond didn’t affect you, that there must have been a mistake – something you might be able to change. But this, this means that the pull had been there for you too, that it manifested itself with you first. You just didn’t know it.
None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t come here.
You stare down at the yarn in your lap, at the knots that have been untied and those that are still there. Maybe this was something you were never able to change. Perhaps Namjoon was right, that all of this was destined, and you would’ve ended up here no matter what choices you made.
You’re not sure what hurts most – the idea that fate handed you over to them, or that it was your own soul that betrayed you, tricked you, into this hell of a reality.
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Inhaling deeply, you feel the crisp air rush down your throat, nestling deep into your lungs. You keep your face turned towards the weak rays of sunlight streaming through the balding trees, lips twitching at the faint warmth that caresses your face. This is the first time you’ve been outside in weeks and you’re going to use the time you have for all that it’s worth.
The sound of crunching leaves interrupts your moment of peace.
You open your eyes slowly, steeling yourself before you turn back to look at Jungkook. He’s been keeping his distance since you came outside, letting you have a few minutes to yourself. You’re not stupid enough to think that this is him trusting you, though. Jungkook has been tense ever since you stepped outside the cabin, body strung as if he’s only waiting for the moment he’ll have to jump into action to hunt you down.
Thankfully, you’re not dumb enough to believe that you’ll manage get away even if you do try. It’s no coincidence that it’s Jungkook accompanying you outside, it’s easy to tell from his physique alone that he’s likely the strongest and fastest out of all of them. There’s also no chance that Jungkook suddenly decided you bring you outside by himself, without the others being involved first. You knew from the moment Jungkook hesitantly approached you that this was a test.
A test for them to see if you can be trusted; to see if you’ve been broken enough to stay, or if you’ll attempt to run away. 
It is tempting, now that you’re outside with the soft ground under your boots and the gentle wind brushing through your hair, but you know that playing the long game is the only thing that will truly get you out of here.
You hug your arms to your chest, pulling Jungkook’s padded jacket closer to your body to fend of the chill that’s started to cling to you. ”I’m getting cold, do you think we can walk for a bit?”
As it is, you’ve barely even moved away from the old house. He lead you out back, to the beginning of the open field behind the cabin, but you haven’t dared to venture much further without his permission. You want Jungkook to take the lead, to let him believe that he's the one in control even if you don’t trust a single bone in his body.
Jungkook pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, doe eyes flickering between you and the clearing nervously. He’s still standing a few feet behind you, just enough to give you the illusion of privacy despite the both of you knowing that you have none.
“We can walk to the tree and back.” He stumbles over the first word before he clears his throat and nods in the direction of the big oak tree in the middle of the clearing.
It’s not as far as you’d like, but you have a feeling it’s to make sure you don’t get too knowledgeable about your surroundings. Either way, you need to stretch your legs and move around to make sure your muscles work once you actually can escape, so the tree is better than nothing.
“Thank you.” You flash him a bright smile, a sense of ugly satisfaction curling in your gut at the way it makes Jungkook almost trip over his own feet.
You fall into step besides him once he closes the distance between you, allowing your arm to brush against his as you trudge through the withered grass and moss. The brief contact is enough to make Jungkook flustered, and even though you hate it, you know you have to keep initiating it in hopes that it'll break down his walls faster.
“The hyungs ..” Jungkook starts, his mouth pinching into a faint frown. ”The choices they made weren’t the right ones, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. I-I don’t like keeping you here but they – we – are scared of losing you, of you not giving us a chance if we let you go. They’re only trying to do what’s best for all of us, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.”
He sees the unconvinced look that passes over your face before you manage to school your features, the slight purse of your lips that tells him you’re not fully ready to accept the truth just yet. He continues still, voice filled with gentle mirth as he talks about the others.
“They’ve helped me a lot. The hyungs sort of took me under their wing the moment I met them. I-I, um, didn’t have the best childhood, my parents weren’t always k-kind, but the hyungs have always tried to make up for it – to make sure I never had to deal with that kind of hurt again. My s-stutter used to be much worse before, before they showed me what it felt like to be safe and happy.”
Your treacherous heart aches for him. You release a soft breath, letting go of the urge to take Jungkook into your arms with it. You keep your eyes on the pale blue sky, whispering out a simple, ”I’m sorry.”
“I-I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad for me.” Jungkook rushes to say.
”I don’t even know why I said it, I-I just … want you to know that deep down, they always mean well. When my parents cut me off, Seokjin hyung offered me a job even though business was too slow for an extra part-timer at the time. I hated working for hyung in the beginning. He practically forced me to, saying that exposure to people would help me overcome my shyness and s-stutter. I was always so anxious I couldn’t sleep the night before my shifts, worried s-sick that the customers would be mean and make fun of the way I talked. It was rough, but it helped. Hyung was always there to make sure it nothing bad happened. Seokjin hyung and the others have all taken care of me in their own ways, even if they may seem unconventional to others. The hyungs just care, so much, about the people they love. I-I really don’t know where I would be without them."
“I believe you.”
You don’t doubt that the others have taken good care of Jungkook, or that they all care for each other. You would have to be blind not to see that they’re all close friends, that they all love each other, regardless of the influence of the faint soulbond they share. They might mean well, they might think they’re doing the right thing, but that doesn’t excuse anything that has transpired in the last year.
You still hate them.
That won’t ever change.
“You do?” Jungkook’s doe eyes grow wide with surprise. His lips stretch into a happy grin when you nod, his soft curls bouncing against his cheek as his steps seem to get a little more pep in them.
You crane your head back as you reach the tree, looking up at the sun through the barren branches. You watch a couple of birds fly across the sky, spreading their wings as they dance with the wind, swooping and rising as it pleases them. Oh, how you wish you could join them. You’d be willing to give almost anything for a pair of wings to get yourself out of here. To fly away from the rotting earth under your feet and the heat of Jungkook’s gaze on your face.
You can see him toing at the fallen leaves out of the corner of your eye, his breath hitching every time he opens his mouth to say something, only to regret it and screw his lips shut immediately. He pauses, his chest rising and falling with unsure breaths, before he timidly admits, ”I-I think I might have been the one that helped Tae hyung send roses to your apartment.”
The suddenness catches you off guard. You turn to properly look at him, dumbfounded, as you wait for him to go on.
“I-I didn’t know it was you at the time! Hyung pulled me aside one night when we were all hanging out and asked me if I could help him deliver some flowers without Seokjin hyung knowing about it. Hyung looked so shy, so happy, when he mentioned he had found his soulmate and wanted to woo them properly. We never really talked about our marks – but Taehyung has always had the most trust in the soulmate system, he has always believed he would find his other half. So I-I was really touched that he wanted my help with something so special.”
“Tae hyung never gave me a name, just the address and the apartment number it should be delivered too. I-I didn’t know where you lived since I always left my letters in your locker, so I didn’t connect the dots until I saw him in Hoseok hyung’s shop. Back then, I wanted to respect hyung’s wishes and keep it a secret, he didn’t seem ready to share it with the whole group yet. He seemed particularly worried about Seokjin hyung, that it would affect him badly because his own soulmate had died–”
Jungkook looks like he’s bitten into something sour as the word leaves his tongue. He shakes his head, eyes rolling before he adds, “which obviously wasn’t true – but I understood his reasoning at the time. I regret not asking him more about it, though.”
You blink at him, another piece of the puzzle clicking into place. That is why Seokjin didn’t have any information about the roses, because Jungkook had done it off the books.
For the first time since you stepped outside, Jungkook adverts his gaze to the ground. He hangs his head, a deep furrow appearing between his brows as he stares down at the dying grass. Jungkook pouts, his lip beginning to wobble before he hurriedly pulls it between his teeth. The scrape of his teeth as he bites down on the soft flesh leaves a faint sting in your own; the cruel reminder of your bond causing you to clench your fists.
Jungkook sounds regretful, quiet, when he finally says, "I wish I hadn’t helped hyung cause you even more pain.”
You close your eyes, allowing yourself a brief moment to collect yourself. What are you supposed to say? It’s okay? Because it’s not. I forgive you? Because you don’t.
You turn on your heel, shoving your fists deep into your pockets to hide the way they tremble. ”You didn’t know.”
Jungkook lets out a wounded sound, something close to a hiccup, as he keeps his head bowed in apology.
“I’m still sorry, Y/n.”
“Okay.” You murmur.
Remorse you can work with. If Jungkook is truly regretful of what he’s done, you should be able to use that to your advantage.
You swallow thickly, stepping closer to nudge his shoulder with your own. Jungkook’s dark eyes shine with guilt as he raises his head, face nothing short of distraught as he meets your gaze.
“Let’s go back, Jungkookie.” You give him a weak smile, the nickname foreign as it rolls off your tongue.
It has the intended effect though, as you watch Jungkook’s mouth fall open, a star struck expression taking over his features. You’ve been mentally prepping yourself for this moment for days, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. This is the first time you’ve reciprocated the same closeness, familiarity, that they’ve been suffocating you with ever since you got here. The fact that Jungkook is the first one to hear it is a big deal, one you hope will make the others jealous – miserable – as they hopelessly wait for their turn.
You take a step forward, waiting for Jungkook to snap out of his daze before you continue walking any further. The guilt on his face has softened into something sweeter, doe eyes sparkling, as he begins to lead you back to the cabin.
You can work with this, you think. Maybe if you continue to focus on Jungkook, on the remorse he carries and how eager he is for you forgiveness, you can manipulate him into letting you go. Maybe you can go out for a walk again, ask for some alone time now that he thinks you won’t run–
You squeak as you step on a patch of frozen mud, feet sliding out from underneath you. In the fraction of the second it takes for Jungkook to grab you, all you can think is; not again. He pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest as he drags you away from slippery patch. Your face is smushed against his padded jacket, your chests falling and rising in tandem from the scare.
You swear it’s like a flip has been switched ever since you got here, your clumsiness levels having gone from ten to a hundred. You were never this bad back in the city; but you also were never this caught up in your own thoughts with planning possible escape routes, either.
“I’m fine.” You blurt out before Jungkook can open his mouth to ask. "Thank you for catching me. Uh, again.”
Jungkook hugs you close, arms squeezing around your waist in reply before he leans back to look at you. The proximity makes you gulp, your throat suddenly painfully dry as you stare at him up-close. With his face so close to yours, you can’t help but notice the small mole beneath his lips, or how pink and glossy his mouth looks after he mindlessly wets it. The cold temperature outside has given his cheeks a healthy flush, adding even more charm to his already cute face.
Despite everything that has happened, you can’t deny the fact that Jungkook is handsome. Pretty - in fact.
Your heart tumbles in your chest as Jungkook takes a tiny step closer. You can barely even feel his hands anymore, the pressure on your waist so light you would think you were made of glass. It’s a stark contrast to how bone crushingly heavy his gaze feels. There’s something intense, yet nervous, in his eyes as they slowly roam over your face, almost like he’s carefully committing every detail to memory.
Your brain is screaming at you to step away, to run, as his face cautiously moves closer to yours, but you can’t seem to move, feet frozen to the cold ground. Even with the sun shining down at you, you swear you can make out stars in Jungkook’s dark eyes as he leans in. Heart racing, you tilt your head, eyelids swooping low as the air fogs up between you.
A particularly harsh breath of air escapes from your lips, the force strong enough to create a misty cloud that momentarily separates you from Jungkook as the condensation drifts upwards. The fleeting veil between you is enough to snap you back to your senses. The weirdly anticipatory fluttering of your heart screeches to a halt, immediately being replaced by a violent shiver of horror as the air clears.
“Jungkook.” Your voice sounds strangled even to your own ears.
Jungkook stops in his tracks as you call out his name, dazed eyes sweeping up from your lips to the strained expression on your face. You would think a cold bucket of water has been dumped over his head with how quickly he releases you, hands yanked away from your body as he stumbles back.
“Y/n, I–” He cuts himself off, face fluctuating between longing and sadness as he looks away. Jungkook shoves his shaking hands into his pockets, voice weak as he says. ”Let’s go back to the cabin.”
You nod, tightly gripping on to the sides of your jacket as you curl your arms protectively around your middle. You once again fall into step beside him, the distance between the two of you much greater than it was before. Your heart is still galloping away in your chest, your stomach tight with nerves. You should be disgusted, repulsed, that Jungkook tried to kiss you, but all you can feel is just – confusion. Jungkook wasn’t the only person that leaned in.
For a split second, no matter how brief it was, you wanted it too.
You swallow down the bile rising in your throat, keeping your gaze firmly locked onto the ground as the cabin’s shadow begins to loom over you. This isn’t good. It’s hard to weed out the cause of your moment of weakness; maybe it was cabin fever, or maybe your basic need for human affection latched on to the person that seemed the least threatening. Or, perhaps worst of all, maybe your soulbond is beginning to turn on you – beginning to accept them despite the circumstances forcing you together.
You cast one last glance up at the weak sun, hugging yourself tight. You whisper out a small prayer to the remaining leaves rustling in the trees, begging that all of this won’t cause you to lose yourself. That you won’t lose sight of the only goal you have.
Escape.
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In hindsight, you should’ve known the pretending could only go on for so long.
You breathe in slowly through your nose, carefully scrubbing away any traces of dirt from the carrots in front of you. Cold water flows over your hands whenever you go to rinse one off but the sensation barely even registers, your mind all too aware of the eyes boring holes into your back.
You had jumped at the chance to help Yoongi in the kitchen – any low effort activity that still made it seem like you wanted to be near them were your favourite – but you hadn’t accounted for Taehyung and Jimin to join you as well.
It's unnerving, feeling their eyes following every minuscule movement you make as you follow Yoongi’s instructions. The tasks he gives you are superficial, washing vegetables and stirring pots, but there’s not much else for you to do when you’re not allowed near any knives. Still, regardless of how simple they are, you try to take your time doing them whenever you help Yoongi out.
Normally it’s just to buy yourself a few extra minutes of silence in the kitchen since the others tend to stay clear of it, but now, it’s the sinking feeling in your stomach that makes your movements drag.
Taehyung and Jimin are up to something. You’re very aware that they aren’t as gullible as the rest - that they’re on to what you’re trying to do.
You carefully place the shiny carrot on the cutting board besides you, listening to the steady chop chop chop of Yoongi’s knife as he dices it up for the stew he’s making. He’s muttering something under his breath, his dark brows knitted together in concentration as he stares down at the knife.
He never rushes you, you’ve found.
Regardless of the reason why – maybe he believes you’re being slow to spend more time with him or maybe he knows you need a break from the others some times – you know Yoongi doesn’t mind it. After all, it means he gets more alone time with you.
“Ah–” Yoongi pauses, knife hitting the cutting board with a dull thud. ”I forgot the new spices in the car! I’ll be right back.”
“Sure.” You nod, feeling uneasy as you run another carrot under the slow stream of water.
You look over your shoulder, watching Yoongi step back from the counter, knife still in hand as he turns around to face Taehyung and Jimin. He points it in their direction, eyes narrowed as he drawls out a stern, ”Behave.”
Taehyung scoffs, childishly turning up his nose at Yoongi’s demand as he leans back in his chair.
“I’m offended, hyung. When have we not?” Jimin rolls his eyes.
Yoongi’s jaw locks, a frustrated rush of air leaving his nose. ”Like I said, I’ll be right back.”  He shakes his head as he goes, throwing the pair another pointed glare before he exits the kitchen.
The moment Yoongi steps out the door; Taehyung and Jimin’s eyes seem to snap to each other like magnets. It’s nothing more than a quick glance, but even just that brief contact carries enough weight to make the alarms in your head blare.
You whip your head back to the sink, hoping they didn’t notice you watching them. Sending out a silent wish for Yoongi to return within the next ten seconds, you resume cleaning the vegetables in front of you, praying the pair will leave you be if you look busy enough.
Only a slow second passes before Jimin’s airy voice calls out to you from the kitchen table.
“Baby, is Yoongi hyung working you too hard? You know you can just relax and let us take care of things, right?”
You stiffen at the question, muscles locking up under the wave of tension that grips your body. Forcing your hands to keep moving, you let out a strained answer in return. ”I-I don’t mind. I like helping out.”
“Ah. I see.”
You can't be sure, not with your back turned and his expression hidden from view, but you swear for a split second that Jimin sounded jealous.
“So, you’re enjoying your time here, then?” He asks, voice deceptively calm.
Nervous, you wet your lips, scrubbing harder at the squeaky clean carrot in your hand. What game is he playing?
“Of course.” You say, proud of the way your voice doesn’t falter.
Jimin hums. The sound is accompanied by slow rhythmic taps against the kitchen table, almost as if he's unknowingly thrumming his fingers as he thinks. Except – the motion is too controlled, too deliberate.
He’s trying to set you on edge.
“There’s nothing you’d want to change? You like being here with us?”
It’s a trap, you know it is, but how can you do anything else besides walk right into it? You can’t tell Jimin the truth. Not when you’ve already come this far.
Jimin must revel in the knowledge that he’s got you cornered.
You clutch the edge of the sink as a chair screeches behind you, soft footsteps padding across the floor until you can feel someone hovering behind you. You squeeze your eyes shut as Taehyung’s familiar cologne invades your nose. You can’t focus with him, who’s practically danger personified, standing so close.
What’s taking Yoongi so long?
Gritting your teeth, you slowly place the clean carrot on Yoongi’s cutting board, praying Taehyung doesn’t notice the way your hand trembles. Jimin asked you a question, but you can’t seem to recall what it was, his voice all muddled together in your head. Flustered, the only thing you can seem to focus on are the soft puffs of air hitting your hair, Taehyung quite literally breathing down your neck. You must take too long because you suddenly find yourself being spun around, the world moving too fast until you find yourself caged between Taehyung’s arms, pressed against the counter.
You jerk back, surprised, heart in your throat as Taehyung’s intense eyes stare you down.
“Answer Jiminie's question, babe.”
You hold his gaze, your skin crawling as you muster up a shaky smile.
“Y-Yes. I didn’t see it at first but I understand it now, why you all did it.” The words are painful to push out, your tongue hesitating to curve around your blatant lies. ”I’m h-happy here – with you.”
Jimin makes a delighted sound, but it’s just as fake as the bravado on your face.
“Are you now? That’s great, baby. I guess none of us are making you uncomfortable, then? We haven’t been ah, overstepping, any boundaries?”
“Of course not.”
Taehyung cocks his head, face flat as he asks. ”So you don’t like Jungkook and Yoongi better than the rest of us?”
“What?” You breathe, taken aback.
You can’t believe your plan might have actually worked.
It’s been a few days since your outing with Jungkook and you’ve been nervously waiting for one of them to bring it up. There’s no way they didn’t wring him out for details afterwards. Maybe they haven’t caught on what you’ve been doing at all, too busy stewing in their jealousy of the others?
“You seem to have grown … close, lately.” Taehyung frowns. ”So, do you? Like them more than us?”
You hate them all equally.
“No.” You’re quick to shake your head. The longer you manage to convince them you care for all of them whilst giving a few special treatment, the better. It’s bound to cause some friction between them, no matter how close they are.
Taehyung lights up, his boxy smile coming in at full force at your rebuttal.
A cough from Jimin is all it takes for it to disappear.
A shiver racks down your spine as you watch the light dim just as quickly as it arrived, his grin faltering as suspicion seems to creep in. He inches closer, scrutinizing your face as he asks, ”Y/n, do you love us?”
“I–” You swallow thickly.
You assumed they would ask at some point but not right now. Not when you’re already struggling to keep your panic at bay and your head on straight. You feel like you’re walking on a tightrope, the edges fraying at both sides.
Still, you manage to force out a shaky, ”I’m your soulmate, how can I not?”
That seems to be enough to placate him, Taehyung’s smile returning once again. This time though, his lips stretch into something more sinister than kind. It makes you realize your mistake a little too late – you never should have worded it as a challenge.
“Yeah?” Taehyung leans in, eyebrows quirking as his gaze dips down to your lips. ”Prove it then.”
You freeze as Taehyung’s hands find your waist, long fingers holding you firmly in place. Your mind races as his face draws closer and closer, Taehyung darting his tongue out to wet his lips.
They tricked, lured you, right into this. You never had the upper hand. It seems that the only person who’s been played is you.
Your eyes widen in alarm as his flutter closed, gaze darting around wildly as you look for a way to escape. There’s no natural way for you to duck away from Taehyung, no lies that will make sense. They’ve caught you and you have no doubt they’ll tattle to the others if you don’t kiss him.
The rational part of your brain is yelling at you to just do it! – you’ve come too far to throw all that progress away over a simple kiss. But the rest of you aches, mourns, the idea. To give yourself away so easily to someone you hate so deeply. Taehyung may see someone he loves, someone he thinks he knows; but all you can see as you look at his face is anxiety and terror; your sanity slipping through your fingers like sand.
He’s so close, brows starting to furrow in confusion as he never meets your lips, unaware of how you’ve been pulling back to keep your distance. Your neck is starting to cramp from the odd angle, hands shaking by your sides as Taehyung’s sweater brushes against them.
He lets out an annoyed breath, the fingers on your waist tightening as if he’s going to pull you against his chest to get you closer.
You can’t. You can’t, you can’t–
Your hands fly out, pushing Taehyung away. You feel cracked open, panicked, the fear and anger you’ve been suppressing ever since you woke up here spilling out and engulfing you from head to toe.
The force causes Taehyung to stumble back, shocked, until he hits the edge of the kitchen table. He blinks at you like he doesn’t understand what’s going on, like he doesn’t know what he just tried to do. He raises a hand as if he’s going to reach out for you, come back, despite your rejection.
They’ll never change.
They’ll never understand.
A sickening wave of terror crashes over you, mixing with the panic as it builds and builds and builds– until you finally, simply – break.
“Do not touch me.” You let out a shrill scream, a note of hysteria colouring your voice. ”How could I ever love you, when this is how you treat me? When you’ve ruined my life?”
Straightening up, you step away from the counter, pulse roaring in your ears as you stare Taehyung down. "The thought makes me sick. Our soulbond is a mistake, a cruel joke, and I don’t accept it. I’d rather die than fall in love with the likes of you – any of you."
Taehyung looks stricken. He must’ve known you weren’t completely truthful if he decided to scheme with Jimin, and yet, he clearly didn’t quite grasp just how vehemently you actually hate him – them. Underneath the panic, there’s a sick sense of satisfaction curling in your gut as Taehyung’s throat keeps bobbing, his dark eyes welling up under your hard glare.
A heavy silence settles over the kitchen as your voice tapers off. Yoongi’s soup has begun to boil and sputter, but you can barely hear it over your own ragged breaths. The burst of bravery you had is already dying off, leaving you trembling in place as it dawns on you just how badly you’ve fucked up.
You startle as Jimin’s low whistle fills the air.
“There she is.”
You jerk your head in his direction, finding Jimin languidly leaning back in a chair, seemingly unaffected by everything you just hurtled at them. You can detect a hint of annoyance, like he’s angry he was proven right, but the smirk pulling at his mouth speaks louder. Jimin looks amused, excited, that you finally showed your true colours.
“What?” You seethe.
“I knew it.” Jimin’s gaze feels like tiny knives, the coldness in them a terrible juxtaposition to the growing smile on his face. ”You’re not broken in at all, are you, baby?”
Bile shoots up your throat so fast you’re surprised you manage to not throw up. You clench you teeth, hands shaking with rage by your sides.
You want to punch him so, so badly.
Even though you know you’ll only end up hurting yourself in the process, you still find yourself moving forward, vision zeroed in on Jimin's gloating expression.
You’ve only taken a few steps when Yoongi rushes back into the room, Hoseok hot on his heels. They both look you up and down, checking for any visible injuries, before they take in the fury on your face.
“What’s going on?” Yoongi asks. His concern morphs into anger as he looks from you to Jimin and Taehyung, their wildly different expressions painting quite the story.
You have enough wits left to know that you need to leave before Jimin opens his mouth. Yoongi may be annoyed with him now for upsetting you, but you’re sure that’ll change once he hears what you just threw in their faces. It doesn’t take a genius to know that this is going to turn out very bad for you.
You take your chance as Hoseok hisses a low 'Park Jimin’ under his breath, sidestepping Yoongi as he stalks over to Jimin’s chair.
Bolting out of the room, you manage to catch Yoongi so off guard that he doesn’t have time to stop you, and Hoseok is too far away to grab you even if he wanted to. You run past Seokjin in the hallway, surprise blooming on his face as you enter your room, slamming the door shut behind you.
Panicked, you grab the desk chair, propping it under the door handle to hold it shut. You have no key, nothing to lock it with, so you hurriedly shove whatever furniture you can up to the door, creating a makeshift barricade you know won’t hold them back for very long once they hear the full story from Jimin.
You fist your hair, eyes burning with tears as you pace around the room. You flinch at the loud yelling carrying all the way from the kitchen, six voices rising and falling as they argue heatedly. The door muffles the sounds, but you can still hear your name being shouted back and fourth, over and over again.
Your chest feels so tight you can barely breathe, lungs refusing to expand as terror clings to your body like a second skin. Everything you worked for over the last month was all for nothing, there’s no way they’ll ever trust you after this. You stumble forward, gripping the edge of the bed to steady yourself. There’s no doubt in your mind that they'll do something more drastic to feed their fantasies, that they’ll chain you up somewhere and lose themselves so deep in their delusions that their last bits of sanity will slip away if it means they’ll get to have you.
“No, no, no…” You let out a muffled cry, silently sobbing into your hand as you keep pacing around the room, desperate to find anything that might help you.
You nearly collapse to the floor when you notice something shiny poking out from under your bed, the metal gleaming in the muted light. The bookmark. It must’ve fallen out when you pushed your bedside table over to the door.
Rushing over to snatch it up, you weigh the cool surface in your hand as you spin around to face the window.
You’ve already doomed yourself by blowing up at Jimin.
There’s nothing left for you to lose.
Heart in your throat, you hurry over to the window. You find the small patch you have left, using all the force you can muster to quickly chip away the last of the paint sealing it shut. You dig it in, gritting your jaw as your palm aches with every hit. The yelling in the kitchen hasn’t seized so they must be too engrossed in their arguing to notice the faint pain.
You drop the bookmark to the floor as the last touch of dried paint is gone, gripping the ledge of the window as you start pushing upwards.
It’s not moving.
“Come on.” You grunt, exhaling harshly through your nose as your arms begin to burn under the strain.
You step back, giving your muscles a moment of rest before you resume your grip, putting all your remaining strength into one final push. You’re not sure what does it, maybe it's your adrenaline giving you one last boost, or maybe the universe hears your whispered please against the glass, but the window groans – and opens.
You blink at the fresh air that rushes in, in disbelief that it actually worked. You can get out of here.
You can run.
Wasting no time, you throw a leg out of the window, twisting around to grip the ledge as you carefully lower yourself to the ground. The cabin is only slightly raised from the ground but this isn’t the time to be hasty. Not when you can taste freedom in the crisp autumn air, the dark woods around you welcoming you in with barren branches. If you hurt yourself now, it’s game over.
You wince as your feet reach the freezing ground, the cold seeping right through your woollen socks. You hold your breath, sticking close to the wall and hunching down whenever you pass by a window. You’re going in the opposite direction of the kitchen, but you can’t take any chances.
It’s only when you’ve peeked around the edge of the house, making sure the coast is clear, that you sprint directly for the woods surrounding you.
You hit it at an angle, making sure you won’t be seen from the front of the house while still keeping yourself somewhat parallel to the dirt road you noticed before. It’s too risky to use it, your recapture almost a certain thing if you do. There’s a greater chance of shaking them off under the covers of low branches and fallen trees, so you stick to the dark woods, knowing it’s your ticket out.
You duck under a branch, breath fogging up the air in front of you as you run. Everything aches and burns, but you push through it with clenched teeth, ignoring the taste of blood in your mouth. Being held in the cabin for a month has ruined your stamina, your body protesting the intense movement more than normal but your flight instinct is enough to keep you on your feet. You can barely feel them underneath you; the wet mud coating your socks has chilled you to the bone.
Wheezing, you push a thorny bush out of your way, not even registering the deep cuts they leave on your hands. The pain doesn’t matter. You’d sacrifice a limb if it meant you would get away from them.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been running, or how far you’ve gone, but it’s not far enough. Not when you can still make out the faint, panicked screams of your name echoing through the night.
Their calls makes your stomach twist in fear, a terrible reminder of what awaits you if they catch up with you. They must know what direction you’re heading in by now, but you intend to use your head start for what it’s worth. You’re going to let the adrenaline pumping through your veins take you as far as you can go; until your body collapses, or you’re somewhere safe. Whichever comes first.
It feels like you’ve run for an eternity through the woods by the time you see gravel turning into concrete.
You halt by the tree line, clinging on to a low branch as you gasp for air. Your lungs are burning, collapsing, and the air you gulp down stings with every breath. You’re so tired you can barely stand anymore, and yet, you know you need to keep moving. You need to reach the small cluster of lights twinkling far, far away in the distance.
You press your forehead against the cold bark, hoping the dark spots clouding your vision will settle down if you can only catch your breath. Startled, you wince as something light floods through your eyelids, gaze snapping open to find headlights illuminating the dark roads in front of you.
You sway on your feet, staring at the car driving towards you in utter shock. It’s coming from the direction of the city, which means it can’t be them.
You’re saved.
You’re saved.
You stumble into the road, waving your hands desperately as you yell for the car to stop, stop, stop, please stop!
The driver hits the breaks hard, the harsh headlights blinding you as the tires screech against the road. You raise a hand, shielding your eyes from the bright lights. The driver’s startled scream is muffled by the car, the vehicle groaning as it’s forced to come to an abrupt stop a few feet away.
You squint as the driver’s door is flung open, the outline of a man scrambling out. He grips the edge of the door, chest heaving with what you assume is quick breaths from the near miss he just had. The apology for scaring him is on the tip of your tongue, but before you can say anything, the man releases a harsh exhale into the night, the car lights illuminating his breath as it drifts upwards.
“Y/n?"
Your heart promptly drops to your stomach.
Namjoon.
He looms over the car as he shuts the door, the soft click loud as a gunshot in the quiet air.
It can’t be, he – he left yesterday. You allowed him to hug you for far longer than you liked, all because he was supposed to be gone for two days. Not one. Namjoon wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near the cabin today. It didn’t even graze your mind that the driver could be him – that fate could be so cruel to lead you right back to them.
You slowly lower your hand, a new surge of panic building inside of you.
You can run, but you’re tired, and Namjoon is not. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll catch you before you even make it off the road. It’s not like you can knock him out and steal the car either, you wouldn’t have been able to overpower him even if you were freshly rested. He’ll drag you back to that cabin kicking and screaming, or – you have one last thing you can try.
Dread weighs you down as you rush forward, making every step feel slow and sluggish, wrong, as you propel yourself right into Namjoon’s arms.
“Namjoon,” You choke, clawing the back of his coat as you press yourself closer, tighter. ”Please – please, take me away from here. I only want to be with y-you, not the others. Don’t make me go back, please.”
“Darling,” Namjoon breathes, utterly overwhelmed. The strong arms wrapping around your back feel like steel bars, caging you against his chest, sealing your fate. ”I don’t understand, Y/n, what–"
“I need you. Only you.”
You just need him to accept, to take you away. He knows the others, knows where they’ll look first and what they’ll do, and once you’re sure you’re safe from them, you’ll figure out a way to escape from Namjoon too.
You flinch at the sound of an incoming call connecting to the car’s speakers, the volume loud even through closed doors. Pulling back, you twist your head just enough to glance at the name displayed across the media system.
JIMIN.
The call disconnects when it isn’t picked up, and your blood runs cold as another one immediately comes in, Hoseok’s name replacing Jimin’s.
They surely can’t know that you’re with Namjoon right now, they’re probably calling to let him know you’re gone, but it only ramps up your nerves, lighting another spark on the fuse that’s already burning up too fast.
Namjoon is staring at the same spot you are, expression tight. The furrow between his brows grows deeper the more he thinks, and you need him to not to that. You need him to trust you. Forget the rest.
“Namjoon,” You whisper sweetly, smiling through the tremor in your voice. You reach up to cup his face, turning his full attention back to you with an icy caress. His skin feels burning hot against you chilled skin, a low buzz spreading from the tips of your fingers all the way up your arm the longer you touch him.
Namjoon looks at you with wide eyes, his lips parted in shock at your willing affection. Everything about him is tense and unsure, but he still leans into your palm, seeking comfort in your touch.
“The others ... they can’t c-care for me the same way that you do. You’re the only soulmate I need, the only one I want. Won’t you please take me away? I really l-like you.”
You let your voice grow softer and softer the closer you lean in, your last words practically whispered into his lips. Namjoon shivers, his dark eyes turning hazy at the close proximity, at how his dreams are so close to coming true.
Nausea swirls in your stomach as his hot breath spills across your mouth, your heart thundering in your chest. Everything just feels so numb, frozen; your emotions too frayed and exhausted to act up, and your body too chilled to move. Still, you use the shaking hand behind Namjoon’s back to pull him closer, your iced lips clumsily grazing the side of his mouth.
This is it, you think as Namjoon’s eyes flutter closed and his breath hitches, you have him.
You just need a little more, just one proper kiss to convince him and then your escape is secured.
You’re just about to inch off the ground to make sure you find his lips when something pained flashes across Namjoon’s face, and he leans back, out of reach.
Confused, you watch as he releases a deep sigh, turning his head to gaze up at the night sky. He watches it for a second, seemingly finding whatever answer he was reaching for, and looks back at you.
“You’re lying to me, aren’t you?” Namjoon asks, his dark eyes brimming with hurt.
“W-what? No!” You scramble to pull him close, both hands tugging on the lapel of his coat, but Namjoon doesn’t budge.
“I want to believe you but I can’t, darling.” He shakes his head. ”I have to bring you back.”
“I can’t! Please, I can’t go back, this isn’t what I want–” You plead, desperate, as you try to push away from Namjoon’s chest.
He simply tightens his grip in response, pulling you flush against him until you can feel his heart racing alongside your own. He shushes any attempts of begging, rocking you back and forth as you heave in his arms.
"I would love to whisk you away and keep you all to myself, but it wouldn’t be fair to the others, Y/n. You’re their soulmate, too.”
Namjoon’s voice sounds murky and muffled, insignificant, in comparison to the terror gripping your body.
You can’t go back.
Whatever it is they have in store for you, you’d rather die than experience it.
“What about me?!” You sob, hot tears burning down your cheeks as you weakly hit Namjoon’s chest. ”How is any of this fair to me?”
Namjoon pauses, thinks, before he rests his head on top of yours; nodding into your hair as he says, ”It’s not."
“It’s not fair to you, but this is the best we can do. We’re trying, Y/n, and it's about time you start doing that too.”
Something in you shatters.
Your heart, you think. Maybe your mind.  
They don’t care. No matter what you do or what you say, if it doesn’t match the reality they’ve made up in their heads, they won’t care.
You’re on your own. A scared little lamb clever enough to escape the slaughterhouse, but not smart enough to avoid the wolf. And now it’s bringing you back to be eaten, torn apart, by his whole pack.
Your body can’t handle the myriad of emotions that crash over you all at once. You slump in Namjoon’s arms, legs giving out underneath you. He holds you close, murmuring something you can’t make out as you stare up at the night sky with glossy, unseeing eyes.
You’re just so tired.
The past year has been one big trauma, one you never processed, and now, you got a taste of freedom only for it to be crushed under the tires of Namjoon’s car.
You’re exhausted.
Your vision tilts as you’re lifted of the ground, your numb feet barely feeling the ground leaving them.
You’re cold.
The night sky grows darker and darker, swallowing up the stars one by one as you’re carried around the side of the car. The darkness fills your sight until it’s the only thing you can see, a blast of warm air engulfing your body as a door clicks open.
A low apology is whispered into the car. Dry lips press against your forehead.
You give up.
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a/n: please consider supporting me by buying me a ko-fi! 💖
wooo lots of things happened in this one! what do you think about y/n’s chat with seokjin? her walk with jungkook? what vmin was trying to pull in the kitchen? did you think namjoon was going to show up and take her back? let me know, i’m eager to hear your thoughts!!
you know the drill - everything is unbetaed so please excuse any mistakes!
stream indigo and wish seokjin a happy b-day!! 
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taeyungie · 1 year
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LOVE OF MY LIFE
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