#yes i am talking about the episode of holby where jac comes back from her break | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years

Text

Now watching Always Forever, which is the ep where Morven leaves with Cameron and it’s supposed to be her happy ending. Lmaooo.

Edit: SCREAM at the very start of the episode having a scene that cuts directly from Cameron to Gaskell. In hindsight that’s so funny.

Edit 2: Sacha to Jac, about John: “He saved your life, and for that I am eternally grateful. Because I don’t know what I would’ve done if we’d lost you as well.” :((

Also, no one would ever have thought when this ep first aired that Ken the drunk elf would be in the very last episode of the show. Wild.

Edit 3: Okay, turns out Cameron was always not only bland (which I remembered), but also always entitled and annoying. But at least he was an entitled, bland, annoying side character instead of the main villain of the show for 2 years.

Edit 4: The scene with Jac and Essie talking about Raf is beautiful.

Also, lol @ this from Essie: “You had a lot of people worried about you - Hanssen, Gaskell, Sacha...” One of these things is not like the others!

Edit 5: Immortal words from Morven: “Get over yourself, Cam.”

Also I miss Holby going batshit insane at Christmas actually, shame they didn’t do it in the last series.

Edit 6: OH FUCK JASON THE CARICATURE IS HERE. So glad we never have to see him again.

Edit 7:

Me: *calls Jason a caricature*

My mom (also autistic, for context), 5 seconds later, after Jason broke Essie’s phone and they were talking about not being able to get Raf’s voicemail: *starts going on about how that’s not how it works*

Jason: Voicemails are saved on the server! You’ll be able to get it back!

My mom: Exactly!!

Me: ...Maybe he’s not as much of a caricature as I thought.

Edit 8:

GhostArthur is here!!

Also, eternally obsessed with this:

Ken: What’s it like, taking a bullet?

Jac: Fetch me a gun and I’ll show you.

Edit 9:

GhostArthur on Cameron: “So that’s my replacement? He’s handsome in an obvious kind of way.”

Edit 10:

SCREAM @ Sacha asking Cameron of all people to watch over Morven and make sure she’s fit to treat patients.

Edit 11: Jac doing the Henrik style fidgeting with her hands!

Interesting little piece of dialogue from Cam on Bernie: “My mother could never lay down roots for long.”

Edit 12: There’s a few pretty decent Jac and Fletch scenes here. If they hadn’t over-pushed the romance angle and hadn’t had him be such a dick to her so often, they could’ve had a cute little friendship.

Edit 13: Interesting dialogue from John, considering his backstory (which hadn’t been revealed when I last watched this episode - yes, I haven’t seen it since it aired!). “Pain is a useful tool in our arsenal. It’s corrective. An important survival trait.”

Edit 14:

Morven to Jac: “You’ve been here forever. Made your career here.” :(

Edit 15: “Auntie Serena said I don’t have a neurotypical response to grief!” Well, you probably don’t, Jason. However, “Auntie Serena” was still talking out her ass by thinking she could tell you about YOUR experience with the disorder you have and she doesn’t.

I do love Jason being a Doctor Who fan though (his social script of offering Essie a jellybaby obviously being taken from the Fourth Doctor). Now THAT’S an accurate autism thing (unironically. I don’t know why so many autistic people are into Doctor Who but we just are.). I wonder if he and Henrik have ever chatted about it. Possibly even if he got Henrik into it. Look, I just find the idea of Henrik discovering the 1990s Doctor Who movie and realising he really fancies the Eighth Doctor but having no idea why to be hilarious.

Edit 16: HENRIK AND MORVEN SCENE HERE WE GO

Edit 17: “You’d think I’d be used to it by now, wouldn’t you? All this death.” :( Henrik definitely felt that.

Also, Henrik’s whole “bird in a cage so expansive it’s under the illusion it is free” metaphor comes across more like it’s about his own feelings on the CEO job and how he tried to convince himself it was right for him than about Morven’s feelings about her job at Holby.

Also also, the little moment where Morven tells Henrik Arthur was lucky to have him in his life and Henrik’s EXPRESSION I just. Aaaaah.

Edit 18: This little Morven and Nicky scene is lovely.

Edit 19: Henrik clicking a pen over and over. Can’t tell if it’s stimming or a compulsion.

Edit 20: The Jeremy Warren plotline was sooo pointless. His little scene in this ep only happened to give the episode a cliffhanger.

Edit 21: Seeing Nicky talk about Cameron’s thing for Morven is SO WEIRD.

Edit 22: Jac getting Ken to dress up as Santa for Emma. And her reading The Night Before Christmas. Awww. :’))

Anyway, can you IMAGINE society if this had been the last time we ever saw Cameron??

1 note · View note

unnatural--disaster · 4 years

Text

Not to be dramatic but I really am a lesbian

#yes i am talking about the episode of holby where jac comes back from her break #yes i am in love with jac naylor #holby city #jac naylor

5 notes · View notes

holbyconfessional · 6 years

Text

Holby City S20 E25 - Primum Non Nocere - Part 2

Fuck me, that was a bit of a rollercoaster! I should probably start with Jac, but let’s face it, most thoughts (and feels) I’ve had around this episode are Berena related, so I’m just diving straight in.

I’ve been prepared for the worst. And it’s pretty horrific watching them fight and pick at each other for the first large part of the episode. I’m still very much of the opinion that we were cheated out of a great deal of happiness in the first days of their relationship, by their new romance taking so much of a backseat before being so quickly derailed by Elinor’s death. So, whilst it has been beyond wonderful to have Bernie back on our screens for a couple of episodes, to not really see much happiness for the majority of those eps was still tough to take. BUT, there were really pure and wonderful moments in the painful angst. From the moment that Bernie walked into Greta’s cubicle, after her chat with Fleur, just the way she only had eyes for Serena was just beautiful. Followed, of course, by the chat on the corridor floor, the reminiscences about Elinor (yes, I shed a tear, because CR’s acting was just sublimely good), and even the break up scene, which I actually legitimately sobbed through. Because JR’s acting after Serena went in to meet her grand-niece was just that sublimely good.

And of course, who could fault the post-Fleur and Donna Serena intervention scenes, when Serena chases after Bernie? Somebody had to talk sense into Serena, because who in their right mind would let Bernie go??!! And as for asking Bernie to wait, let’s face it - Bernie is ex-army, she is used to being separated from loved ones for extended periods of time, and whilst I’m not suggesting it’s easy for her, nor her choice at this point in her life, she would hardly say no to something she’s learned emotionally to deal with, right? And THANK YOU, HOLBY FOLKS - because, she’ll be back, soon enough... (I’m not sure I’ve ever been quite so grateful to be proved so wrong!)

The thing with Berena is, that whilst it has been heralded as this hitherto unrepresented older lesbian relationship without death (if you choose to overlook the death of Serena’s daughter), it’s actually much more than that. It’s been pigeonholed, but I actually think it stands it’s place in the grander scheme, and whilst it means so much to so many, it’s much more than just a ‘lesbian’ relationship. It deserves to be up there amongst any relationship, regardless of gender/identity of the participants. I literally can’t remember a time in Holby history where any relationship has been treated with such care and attention - and I think we do have the representation aspect to thank for that, but (and I may be waxing lyrical, and not making that much sense), to me, it is ‘all that’.

Anyway, and loathe as I am to admit it - there were other storylines in tonight’s show. And other aspects to Serena’s story! So, here we go.

Gaskell’s monologue to an unconscious patient which kicked off the show, and was shown throughout. I had initially thought it was Jac, and was most glad at the end of the ep to be shown that it wasn’t. I think it was that first patient, the one that I’d initially thought was a loved one, who has been in the coma for years, although still not sure.

I have to admit, I still feel like I don’t quite get all of Gaskell’s storylines. It might have something to do with not catching some of what he mutters, but it feels like it’s one of the least coherent stories that they’ve run, and it’s all done almost in subtext. I’m not a stupid person, but I do constantly find myself wondering what the hell is happening within that story. So, he’s acknowledged that Meena is right, that patients are dying from encephalitis, but he lied to Meena and Roxanna by telling them that his latest patient is responding to treatment, when in fact he isn’t, and won’t. But none of that really matters, because Jac realises that she’s got a 50/50 of dying, but wants to go ahead anyway, because death is better than a life with neurological deficits, or pain, despite the fact she has a daughter. And Gaskell pretends to laud Meena for her actions, but is secretly looking for a way to get rid of her for derailing his maniacal need to trailblaze, which of course yap-flapper Meena gives him by not managing to keep her idiot mouth shut to the random researcher (who happens to tell Gaskell that they’ve been running basically the same trial in mice with the same 50/50 outcome). Incidentally, in my opinion, Gaskell was quite right to boot Meena. He just did it for totally the wrong reasons. Fwiw.

Aaaand, Jac has had the surgery, it has ostensibly worked, so now we just get to wait and see if she dies. And let’s face it, she’s gonna get a fever and high CRP etc, regardless of the final outcome, coz otherwise, where would the drama be??!!

Good to see Henrik, and so lovely to see him worried about Jac. I like to think if he’d remained CEO, Gaskell’s shadiness would have been uncovered by now. And continuing with Jac, I simply love that Sacha knows her so well - as he showed when speaking to Fletch about how she deals with things, and the anniversary of Jasmine’s death.

The meeting room was quite fun, with Sacha inadvertently spilling Fletch’s romantic dilemma to Abigail, although yet again, Sacha being used as the buffoon was a shame. But I can’t deny that it was mildly comedic. Sadly, yet again, it seems to have only drawn Fletch and Abby closer together. I find myself wondering, am I the only anti-Flabby campaigner out there? RM has all but confirmed that Flac will never happen because neither she nor AW want it to, and I’m ok with that, because I was massively anti-Flac when those rumours first surfaced, but I just can’t get behind Flabby either, and the worse part is, I just don’t know why!

I think my final thoughts of tonight are regarding Fleur Fanshawe (which actually also brings me nicely full circle back to Berena!). Fleur was always quite a pushy character, but tonight, she was downright offensive intially in her flirting over Serena. I felt quite awful for Bernie for a bit there. I’m really glad we got a bit of backstory/filler to explain how Fleur is suddenly Obs&Gynae after being General Surgical, because that was flummoxing me a little. Shame the backstory didn’t extend to what happened to Sophia. Although why should it, I suppose. Relationships come and go, and I guess Serena has all the low down considering how often she goes for drinks with Fleur - as suggested by Fleur to Bernie. So, after starting the episode as quite a thorn in the side, I guess she finally came through, first with her chat to Bernie whilst Bernie was outside having a fag (and looking unbelievably glorious), then later with her remonstration of Serena for letting Bernie go, thereby precipitating their reconciliation, albeit for 48 hours and then long distance. So, I say, go Fleur. And if you do what you promised Bernie and stop chasing Serena, and just be your gloriously bolshy, gay self, chasing after your own unattached ladies, then please stay on our screens and brighten these grey days until Bernie’s next return!!

16 notes · View notes

akaanonymouth · 7 years

Text

Things I’m Working On...

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever…

I’ve not been tagged, but I was making a list of things I’m writing because I’m driving myself insane opening 43 docs and forgetting what idea/ story/ whatever goes where and then spending more time reading and cutting things than actually writing so…. what better place to make a note! (It may be a loooong note! I mean, like, I’m talking through my ideas here because nothing’s actually finished, so feel free to wither jump in and provide input, or just keep scrolling now!) Berena

Berena and the Fletchlings: As you may know, one little “Berena dancing in the kitchen” idea escalated into a 7,000odd word fluff fest involving the Fletchlings, then Berena took them all swimming, and now my brain seems to insist on inserting some Fletchling interaction at almost every opportunity, so I named it a series, and since I named it a series, I haven’t managed to finish a single idea, haha! But, here’s what I got in the pipeline: (Actually I will put this under a cut to save people’s dashes, because I have a lot of ideas to work through and I’ve apparently lost a verbal filter alongside gaining a mental health issue, who knew! Sorry! Anyhoo:

-Evie’s Birthday: She wants to attend a festival. Fletch is dead set against it, Evie’s obviously having a meltdown, so is Fletch, Serena steps in. Decides to throw a mini fest in her house/ garden, and gets most Holby staff involved. Bernie convinces Charlotte to come, because Charlotte can play guitar and sing, and Elinor is also persuaded, because she can sing and play piano and Serena’s set up a gazebo like a stage, but there’s also a piano in the living room, and it turns out Bernie can also play the piano because have you seen her hands?! Anyway, they have mad fun all day, Ric and Sacha do an ‘oldie’ set, etc etc. I’ll stop there with all the details otherwise no one will want to read it when it finally gets done properly! But it’ll include Bernie and Serena dancing, to new and old songs, and Ellie is all like “eww” but Evie’s all moon-eyes and explains what she sees to Ellie, and Charlotte is persuaded by Cam to play an acoustic version of his favourite song and…. basically a lot of Bernie and Serena eye sex, slow dancing in bubbles they create for themselves, and Evie just being crazy about her OTP. I haven’t decided yet if Berena are established, or whether it should be another sort of “intervention/ dawning realisation” type thing, so if anyone wants to add their thoughts, or message me for more details, PLEASE feel free to!

- Bra shopping: I was going to keep the “fletchlings” series relatively angst-free, but this one, canon-compliant with Elinor’s death, is bugging me. Serena promises to take Evie bra shopping; does take Evie bra shopping on the following Saturday. Bernie goes with them. It’s Mother’s Day the next day, and they see shops full of Mother’s Day paraphernalia etc. They have a lovely time shopping but towards the end, melancholy/ anger/ grief sets in, so Bernie does little things to keep them in the here and now, not really knowing what else to do. When they’re heading home, they detour through the park, and come across Mikey in an altercation with a few other older boys. They’re picking on him, and Bernie steps in (BMAM!) and they start to take the piss, but she sends them off, then Mikey turns his anger onto her, and she encourages him (a bit like the speech she gave Serena in the toilets) and he fights her; breaks down; they head back to Serena’s. There’s silent cuddles, angst, but loving. Etc and all that.

- The as-yet-wholly-unformed-idea whereupon Evie still wants to move in with Serena, is in love with Berena, as in, the actual ship, as well as them as individuals, and loves spending time with them. She’s made aware that maybe she is intruding, so she tries not to encroach so much, but Bernie messages her asking if she wants to go to the cinema one night, and she just… Yeah, The One Where Evie is the Berena Fandom Incarnate (and gets to bask in their presence for weekends at a time). May tie this in with the drabble I wrote about Evie giving Serena a friendship bracelet after Elinor died, with green for Bernie weaved through it, then she does the same for Bernie.

If anyone has any Berena + Fletchlings ideas they’d like to see written, pop me a line, and I’ll try my best :)

Untitled WIP:

1) Comedy of sorts. Half the hospital staff are sick to the back teeth of Serena and Bernie tiptoeing around each other, because please, as much as they both liked to preach from their pedestals that they were only being professional and didn’t want the hospital, the trauma unit, AAU, the patients, the bloody agency nurse who turned up now and again to suffer, suffer they were. Especially those that kept stumbling into the middle of serious eye fucking sessions and half-finished sentences. It had to stop. In which Zosia’s taken it upon herself to be Bernie’s fairy godmother (and if she gets a good few snogs out of Jac along the way, all the better), and the staff come up with, frankly, ludicrous ways to get B&S together, even employing Mrs. B as a seductress. Why no one just talked to Jason, I don’t know…

2) If Holby writers can steal Doctors on The Roof from ER, then I can steal Stinky the dog from it, and give him a storyline with Serena and Bernie. (Or, The One where Serena gains a dog and a Wolfe). Kerry Weaver ended up taking home a dog called Stinky from a tramp that died, and I’ve apparently based a whole story on that idea. Also I love Kerry Weaver.)

3) In which Serena loses the point of Texas Hold ‘Em because she’s too busy wondering what Texas holds, exactly? Bernie tells her to add it to her Google list….. And I’ve lost the plot a bit with this one, but Im sure it’ll come back (or it is already here, trapped in the wrong document!)

3) Smut fic. Pure smut. There is nothing but smut. I mean, at a push, it could be described as character exploration through sexual situations, character development via sex…. basically I’m just writing a multi-chap fic about Serena and Bernie having sex in the here-and-now, and harking back to various ‘first-time’s’ as it comes up in their conversation. (Can I work “fight on your feet or die on your knees” into this? I think I can. I can see Serena saying this.) 4) Smut fic. Yes, like the above. But, I found I was thinking about their lives post-Elinor death, and what impacts that would have. This is a bit darker. Not harrowing, and with as happy ending as anyone could have with a dead child, but still, dark enough to warrant being a separate story.

5) The obligatory stuck-in-a-lift-fic that I have never written for any of my OTPs before, so feel it’s beyond time that I give it a go. Mingling it with the “sweaty, vigorous passion” episode, substituting Raf for Bernie :)

6) Angst. In which Bernie uses Jason to determine Serena’s mental state, because whatever is happening, Serena does not lie to Jason. Wrote the idea for this when Elinor first died, so I don’t know if I’ll finish. Just a one-shot, to try to explain to myself where their relationship was, where Bernie’s level of concern was at, at the time.

7) After a whole day of being majorly, ridiculously excited about the post, I am writing a perfume-based story haha!

8) I’m not technically working on this one, because I don’t watch Dr Who religiously, and I’m not a massive, massive fan, but I couldn’t get rid of this thought: Serena is all bitter and sad, and Kate Stewart turns up like “Somewhere in your memory is a woman called Bernie Wolfe….” In order to be happy and save herself (and Holby or the world, if that’s your bag) Serena must remember Bernie, must remember her timeline for her actual reality to realign again, because Bernie is Serena’s soulmate, but not only that, Bernie and Serena’s relationship has a direct impact on Kate’s lineage (or something, it’s all about the timey-wimey shit that I haven’t figured out) and so Serena absolutely has to remember that Bernie was wiped from her memory, because it’s the only thing that’ll bring her back. I’m probably never going to even attempt to start this one, but I would read the shit out of it if anyone could do it?!

9) I nearly forgot about this one! Actresses AU. Whereupon Serena and Bernie, and the rest of the cast, are the actors in a medical drama. Serena and Bernie’s story remains theirs, but there are eerie similarities between them and their character storylines. Bernie remains married for much longer, her character is written out of the show they play in for an indefinite amount of time because she does a moonlight flit, etc. Angst, slow burn. Not entirely sure how this will play out; it’s one I think I’d like to finish completely before posting.

Aaaand I’ll end there. Maybe I’ll do a separate post for the HP, DWP and ER fics that I’ve either temporarily (does 7 years count as temporary?!) abandoned, completely lost, or thought so much about that I think they already exist and am horrifically surprised when they do not (hello, me Voyager fics, too, haha!)

Not tagging anyone, but I’m always grateful to read what other people are up to! God bless anyone that’s made it this far!

#anonymouth #writing #too many ideas not enough time or confidence to follow them through #berena fic

8 notes · View notes

moandkatelive · 7 years

Text

Ok so you all knew it was coming. Yes Campwolfe Fandom Nan™ just has to weigh in on the shenanigans and current angst-fest unfolding on Holby City for our Goddess Serena Campbell oh her anguish someone hold me intrepid couple Serena and Bernie. Many things I will say have likely already been said. Some perhaps not. As per usual, I shall pop it under a read more because I am wordy as shit to save y’all’s dash.

Buckle up

Now that I have had some time and distance from yesterday’s episode I feel as though I may be able to talk about it with a) some objectivity and b) without collapsing on the carpet in a heap of tears.

First of all:

Slow-clapping it out plus a raising a glass of the finest single malt to both Catherine Russell and Jemma Redgrave who killed it knocked it OUT OF THE PARK last night. What those women are able to do with every fibre of their being is incredible and just watching them is a master-class in acting. Like I said in a previous post, Serena’s anguished moan on her out-breath as she collapsed, against Bernie and then her restrained keening will haunt me to my grave. I had nightmares about it last night -that’s how deeply I was affected send help.

Right off the bat can we please quell the fearful speculation that this intense, dramatic tragedy is going to be the downfall of Campwolfe? I mean I suppose if you want to worry about that on top of worrying about how Serena is going to get through the next few weeks fly at it but personally I don’t feel the need to spend energy on something that is 100% not going to happen. Couples on Holby are ALL given difficulty or tragedy to work with. It is thrown at them. Instead of the writers creating drama and angst between Serena and Bernie in an endless cycle of ‘will they or won’t they’ or having them break up and get back together - this couple is on the receiving end of something catastrophic that will highlight bringing them closer. There may be some bumps in the road - I can’t imagine that Serena won’t get through this without falling into depression and pushing the people in her life that she loves the most away for a bit. Why? Because that is what happens in these types of situations and for that NOT to happen would not allow the show to highlight a very real and true to life consequence of the loss of a child. But this is a goldmine opportunity for the writers to show not tell in terms of giving Bernie Wolfe a growth arc. Bernie the emotional dumpster fire that she has been queen of the ‘let’s do a runner’ - let’s be honest sticking around and comfort and care, especially physical comfort and care are not her wheelhouse. To watch her last night, a symphony of restrained agony, helplessness and aching love for Serena was one of the most beautiful and moving things I have seen on television in a long time. She didn’t just hold it together in Theatre (which is her wheelhouse) but she was there for Serena every step of the way - very much the tender partner, very much physically there. I believe that we are going to see incredible amounts of emotional growth as she hangs in and loves on Serena, despite even perhaps being pushed away, instead of just packing it in and heading for the hills because things are rough. I’ve have longed to see this in her and I am very excited to see more - even if it is in small doses. At the end of this arc I believe that Serena and Bernie will come through this stronger than ever.

Is it a horrible, awful, terrible plot twist that Elinor, Serena’s only daughter is brain dead? Yes. It’s utterly devestating - but from the bottom of my heart I don’t think it falls anywhere close to the ‘lesbian death trope’. Serena and Bernie are being for the most part treated exactly the same way that any straight couple/characters would be on Holby City. They’re getting their fair share of a truckload of tragedy. None of the characters escape that. None. Do I wish Elinor wasn’t dead? Yes. I do because I adore Serena Campbell with every fibre of my being I was awake last worrying about her and then had to slap myself upside the head and remind myself that Serena is a British pretend bi-doctor and not a real person and that I was being a giant twit and I don’t want her to suffer. But that isn’t how life works. Tragedy does befall us and this just happens to be what is coming at Serena. Just because she identifies as wlw or lesbian or bi or as Jason says just plain complicated does that mean that she and Bernie should be swaddled gently in bubble wrap and nothing awful ever befalls them? There has to be skin in the game to make things interesting and what a gorgeous way for us, and for the broader audience to see a non-traditional couple working through these issues and supporting one another with unconditional love.

By the same token people could be furious that Dom is saddled with Issac the manipulative, abusive sociopath - why cant he have nice things I’m actually on a mission to push Issac off the roof but that’s another story, but in the harsh reality of life domestic abuse happens within gay relationships too and by highlighting this hopefully it will actually help someone who is gay or lesbian to make positive changes in their lives as Dom struggles to do this. They can look to him and say “if he can do it I can do it.”

I truly believe the same can be said for this storyline with Serena and by extension, Bernie. I’ve seen some opinions in this tag that somehow this story is simply a riff on the “Lesbians as Tragedy” story because it is highlighted that neither Serena nor Bernie are good mothers. I am all for people having their own opinions and fly at it. For me - that is not the read I get at all from the way these characters have been written and what they are portraying. How I see these characters positioned as parents, especially Serena in this case, is that they have loving and difficult and wondorous and challenging relationships with their early adult children. In the same was as the straight parents on this show are often portrayed. Serena and Bernie are shown as flawed mothers, as human mothers. Because that is what it IS to be a parent. Parenting whether you are an at-home parent full time or a surgeon or co-parenting or demonstrative or more reserved is the most fucking difficult job on the planet. There is no manual, no rulebook and despite the best of intentions parents and children often end up at odds. That’s simply a fact. Just because Elinor called her father, which she is want to do when she’s in trouble with the law because she’s learned from experience that her father will bail her out and her mother is going to call her on the carpet - who is the better parent there you have to ask - again a topic for a different meta, ended up reaching Liberty and asked Liberty to come be with her in no way negates Serena’s parenting abilities. Liberty is legitimately a part of Elinor’s life. She functioned, in some ways, as a step-parent. She would have had a way in to talk to Elinor that Serena wouldn’t have had precisely because she was NOT Elinor’s mother. This is the beauty of a step-parent. We don’t have to like Liberty but she did come when she was asked. She did sit with Elinor. She does love her in her own way and even if she’s a bit daft I believe her when she said that she was not trying to replace Serena. And she left when she was asked to leave without kicking up a fuss. There is a certain kind of class in that and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Fletch is a straight man the Flaf shippers notwithstanding and he has been shown time and again to be a good father, a struggling father, a father who falls short, a father who wins, a human father. Jac Naylor. Does anyone really believe that she has been nor will continue to be painted ‘mother of the year’ because she is straight? No. She’s the head of Darwin who is utterly problematic and has difficulty allowing people in or showing her feelings. This will affect her parenting. But she’s struggling through. Trying. She’s a human mother. Serena is a human mother. Bernie is a human mother and I just can’t see the Holby writers slanting it in the direction that they’re anything but human women trying to figure out how to get through the day, save lives and love their families.

I think, lastly, it’s been difficult for some of us to stomach the full throttle tragedy storyline for Bernie and Serena because there were so few touches of them as they were blossoming into and settling into being a romantic couple. Honestly - I wish we’d had a bit more fluff and happiness maybe a scene or two in the Peace Garden or drinks at Albies, bantering over a patient, wrangling about diagnoses before they were handed a dumptruck’s worth of angst but that is not how it played out. For a number of reasons, potentially, Jemma’s vacation time, the fact that Catherine hasn’t had a real holiday in, well, forever, the way that Holby tends to gloss over the happiness of its characters and focus on drama and/or angst. This trifecta of reasons after The Kill List and let’s face it the hiatus where we all almost expired from lack of Bernie/Campwolfe has made it more difficult, I believe, to sit easily, without worry, through this storyline. As I have said before, we are not going to love every last piece of minutiae on how the writers keep crafting Bernie and Serena’s melody line within the symphony. But the one thing I think that we can come back to is that they, and Simon and Catherine and Jemma are committed to creating, as best they know how, as best they are able all their unconscious missteps about wlw relationships notwithstanding a beautiful, complicated, human story that encompasses two women in a relationship dealing with the slings and arrows that life throws at them.

Like the fact that life isn’t perfect, no human is perfect, no mother is perfect - I believe there is some kind of middle ground. Melanie Klein said that there was no such thing as the ‘perfect mother/mothering’ but that for optimum psychological health a child doesn’t need ‘perfect mothering’ she needs ‘good enough mothering’. I think that applies here. I don’t need Serena and Bernie to be the ‘perfect’ representation of wlw relationship. I don’t need their story to be perfect or one made from fanfiction. What I need is it to be ‘good enough’. I need it to be raw, to surprise me, to shake me up. I need their story to make me laugh and to make my cry. I need it to pierce me to my core.

Last night’s episode certainly did that. It pierced me to my very soul. It chewed me up and it spit me back out again. It made me think. It made me ache. In it I saw humanity - the humanity of pain, of fear, of love and loss. That is what we face every day in life. And I for one am so beyond thrilled I can watch these emotions and this turmoil played out between two characters that in some way resemble who I am.

As Serena Campbell says “Life isn’t fair. You don’t get second chances. One knock and all that potential is just gone, wasted.” That is the hard bone truth of it. Sometimes there isn’t a second chance. Somehow we have to figure out how to keep putting one foot in front of the other through loss and grief and a pain so utter it feels as though our entire being is an immolation.

And the other side of that are the people who come and stand next to us and walk with us and hold us up during those times, and into the calm times after. I’m thinking specifically of Essie’s line “Home isn’t about the past. It’s simply a place you’re needed the most.”

I’m thinking about that hug that Bernie showers on Serena. How they both sink into it, breathe one another in. Bury their faces in one another. However this goes I believe that the strength of their home, that they are one another’s true home, will shine through, will be the beautiful gift from this trial by fire.

This love, this fire, this pain, this ultimate home - these are the reasons that I am spellbound and will continue to watch. These are the reasons this episode, this story, is good.

110 notes · View notes

fortytworedvines · 7 years

Text

Twilight comes to close the day

Three ways it ended and one it didn’t.

It’s a bit off the prompt but the last one fulfils the criteria.

Note: I wrote most of this before the recent Jasmine storyline :(

Serena is curled up by the fire of a moutain lodge when her phone pings. She swipes lazily, then sits up, her stomach knotting. An email, from Bernie. She knows, somehow, that it’s not good news.

“Dear Serena,” she reads, “I’m leaving Holby. I’m sorry. I can’t wait any more. It’s killing me. I have to go. I have to move on. Sorry.”

It’s all over, in a few short lines. (It took Bernie three days to compose, and half an hour of hovering over her keyboard to actually send).

Serena feels it like a punch to the gut, like a steamroller has driven over her and rolled all the breath from her.

There is nothing she can do about it here. She could email back, she supposes, she could beg, could ask Bernie to wait – for how much longer? - but the last time she begged Bernie, the last time she clung to her arm and voiced her desperation it hadn’t helped at all. Perhaps made things worse. She has to let Bernie go.

It’s taken a long time (nearly a year) and a lot of travelling (three continents), but finally Serena is feeling peaceful. Content. She’s back in America, lecturing at Harvard. She had thought she’d like to go back into hospital, into the bustle of a ward, but she tried it, lasted a week and realised that she couldn’t cope. Then she was offered the position at Harvard and it felt right. She’s thought long and hard about this next step. To begin with she’d thought that maybe Bernie could come out too, or maybe they could try a long distance relationship.

But she’s been away for nearly a year, and truthfully Bernie doesn’t occupy her thoughts as much as she’d used to. She still loves her, perhaps she always will, but she’s not in love any more.

She’d been in a bar and a woman with long ginger hair had bought her a drink, chatted her up. Serena had liked her. More than liked her. Kissed her quite fervently in the street outside. Hadn’t gone home with her because she wasn’t quite ready for that, not just yet. And it hadn’t occurred to her to feel guilty; only the following day that she’d thought maybe she ought to feel guilty.

She’s moved on. It seems in putting Elinor’s death behind her and creating this new life for herself she’s left Bernie behind too.

They’d emailed each other, periodically. Serena realises now that she hasn’t emailed for a couple of months. And when she looks through her inbox she realises that Bernie hasn’t emailed her either. A short response to her last short offering, then nothing.

She needs to tell her though, just in case Bernie is still waiting. So she types swiftly. Keeps it to the point; she’s got a new job, she’s finally happy in herself. She won’t be coming home. She hopes that Bernie will accept the decision and that she will be happy. Signs off simply ‘Serena’ and sends it before she can think herself into a funk.

Bernie’s response comes the following day. It’s short, but sweet.

“I think I’ve been expecting this for a while,” she writes, “I know you’ve made the right decision for you, and I’m glad you’re happy. Jason’s moved in with me (temporarily) and he sends you his love. He also wants to know your address. He’s planning to propose to Celia! So I hope (we hope) you’ll come back for the wedding, if she says yes. It’ll be good to see you one more time. And don’t you worry about me, Serena Campbell. I’ve been offered a commission, and I think I’m going to accept it. Holby’s been fun but its time for a new challenge.”

She finishes, “Bernie. X”

Serena sits for a moment, thinking about Jason. Of course she’ll go back for his wedding. She’s glad Bernie is still looking out for him. Then she pours herself a glass of wine, thinks of Amy from the pub and digs out the scrap of paper with her number on. There’s a grin on her face as she dials.

Serena is working, temporarily, in a cafe in Spain. A little for the money, a little for the company. She’s a hit with the tourists, who enjoy conversing with a Brit and pepper her with questions about how she came to be working here; she’s not an obvious candidate for a gap year, after all (she never tells them the truth).

She’s just taking her break, well-deserved, with a large mug of strong and hot coffee, and flicking through the news when her phone rings. It’s Hanssen, and she is so surprised she almost drops it, fumbles to answer it.

“Henrik?” she says.

“Serena, there’s some bad news...”

She makes it back to Holby in time for the funeral. Stops in with Jason, who looks at her with an ashen face and asks, why. She can’t give him an answer. Who could?

She’s hesitating outside the church gate when Cameron materialises at her side. He looks smart in his suit, and utterly devastated. “Ms Campbell,” he says, “Serena.”

She sobs into his shoulder, and she can feel his tears dampening hers. Eventually he pulls back.

“We have to go inside,” he says gently. She clings onto his hand and he twines their fingers together. They lean on each other as they go in and he leads her to the front of the church, pushes her gently into a pew. Jason is there already, with Charlotte. Serena’s only met her a few times before; that Christmas that they had shared before everything fell to pieces. But Charlotte reaches for her and so Serena finds herself with a Wolfe cub on either side as the music starts and the coffin enters the church.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, “oh my god.”

Cameron delivers the eulogy. Talks about Bernie’s love for the army, her love for her family. The love she discovered later in life with Serena. He tells funny stories from the army, even the infamous tap-in-butt episode from Holby. People laugh. Serena laughs. Bernie’s presence seems to be alive in the church. Until the final hymn, the last prayer, the coffin leaving the church.

Serena wants to scream, don’t go without me, how could you leave before I came back, how could you go when I loved you so much. How could Bernie survive the army, survive being blown up, just to die of a heart attack in a boring, safe hospital. How can Serena live now she has two graves to visit, two lives to mourn, two futures vanquished.

She can’t move. The church is emptying as people head to the pub, to Albies, of course, where the wake will be.

“Aunty Serena?” Jason says, and she looks up at him. “You’ve… you’ve still got me,” he says uncertainly.

“And you’ve got us,” Cameron adds, with a watery smile, “If you’ll have us.” He and Charlotte are holding hands now, anchors for each other.

“You?” says Serena faintly.

Cam glances at Charlotte as if for support and she smiles at him, nods. “Mum told me, before… She told me that when you came back, she was going to ask you to marry her,” he shoves his free hand into his pocket and pulls out a box. “I had to go through her papers,” he blinks rapidly, sniffs, “And I found this.” He hands it to her.

She was going to ask, thinks Serena, and I would have said yes. Oh how I would have said yes. She reaches out, trembling, grasps the box. Stares at it for a second, then flips it open. The ring is delicate, silver, a small garnet stone set with tiny crystals around it. It’s beautiful. She cries.

It’s Charlotte who takes it out of the box, who holds Serena’s hand so gently, and slips it on her finger. It fits perfectly.

Serena doesn’t know what to do now, she barely knows how to breathe. She sits, with silent tears pouring down her face and the children stand next to her. Waiting.

In the end it’s Jason who snaps them back into the present, who says quietly, “I’m hungry, Aunty Serena. Can we go now?”

There’s a car waiting for them and Serena slips into the back seat, stares alternately out of the window and at the ring on her finger. Cam is in charge, and she’s grateful because she’s still processing really. It’s been three days, only three days, since Henrik’s call destroyed her world.

There’s a crowd at the pub. So many people have turned out to remember Bernie. Her old army friends, in uniform. The hospital crew, some in scrubs who have clearly slipped out in the middle of their shift. A few people that Serena can’t place, but she supposes that Bernie must have done something aside from her army and hospital work. She spots Marcus and doesn’t have the energy to summon up an emotion. He’s got a woman with him; must be a new girlfriend.

“Ms Campbell,” she turns to face the voice. It’s Morven and she’s holding two glasses of wine.

“I got you a shiraz,” Morven says, and Serena manages a half smile. Morven slips onto the bench next to her and touches her hand gently. “Will you let us help you?” Morven says quietly.

Serena hears what she’s really saying; let us in, don’t let this destroy you, don’t go down the route you did with Elinor. She nods, because she was angry then. So, so angry. She isn’t angry now. She doesn’t know what she is, really. Just...not right.

“That’s a beautiful ring,” Morven says.

“Bernie was going to propose,” says Serena. It’s the first sentence she’s said all day. It makes her cry. Morven sweeps her into a hug, pulls her tight and lets Serena bury her head into her shoulder.

“I know it hurts,” Morven whispers, “It hurts more than anything. But it will get better,” she says, “In time. You just have to keep going until then.”

Serena knows, because Bernie did email her now and then, that Morven and Cameron have got together. If Morven could find the strength to keep going and eventually find happiness again then maybe she could. A thought occurs to her.

“I could have been your step mother in law,” she mumbles, and it sounds so ridiculous that she almost giggles.

Morven pulls back and smiles at her. “If Cam and I make it that far, then as far as I am concerned, you will be. Okay?”

Morven disappears then and Serena sits alone for a little bit. Watching the crowd. There’s food, but she’s not hungry.

She’s more than surprised when Jac comes to join her. The last time they had seen each other was when Jac confronted her in her office, with Bernie and Jasmine. She had been furious with Serena. Serena supposes it’s a measure of how dire she must look that there is only sympathy on Jac’s face now.

“I’m sorry,” says Jac. Then she does something even more unthinkable, and hugs Serena. “We tried so hard.”

This is new to Serena. “You were there?”

A shadow crosses Jac’s face. “They brought her up to Darwin. We couldn’t do anything.” She pauses, then continues, “She was quite a woman. We’ll miss her.” She squeezes Serena’s shoulder and leaves.

Next up are Raf and Fletch, who’ve brought Evie with them. Evie throws herself into Serena’s arms and Serena allows herself to enjoy the contact. “Tell me,” she says hoarsely, looking at the two men over Evie’s head.

They exchange a look and Raf speaks, voice unsteady. “It was just an ordinary day. She’d been muttering about being tired but...”

“She wasn’t sleeping well,” says Fletch apologetically, “Hadn’t been since you left.” That twists like a knife in Serena’s gut. “She was only doing some obs when she collapsed.” He coughs and clears his throat.

“We did CPR,” Raf says, “Rushed her up to Darwin. But she was gone.” He dashes away a stray tear.

Serena sits. People continue to come and give her their condolences. Sometimes she manages to reply, sometimes she just smiles. Everybody is sympathetic. Everybody says how much they will miss Bernie.

Then a tall, slim woman with dark hair approaches. She doesn’t recognise her, but the woman sits down beside her.

“I’m Alex Dawson,” the stranger says.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Serena manages, because it is. To meet this woman whom Bernie loved, who had shown Bernie the truth of herself. Serena owes her, she thinks, because she knows that it was Alex who proved the catalyst for Bernie extricating herself from her marriage.

Alex eyes her and then smiles, “I can see why she didn’t come after me.”

Serena doesn’t know what to say to that, so she says nothing.

“I’m glad she was happy,” says Alex, “I was jealous of you for a long while. But I think she was right, in the end. It wouldn’t have worked, me and her. And I’m glad she found you. I’m glad you had each other.”

“Not for long enough,” says Serena harshly.

“No,” Alex agrees, “Not long enough.”

They sit in silence for a time. Then Alex pushes a card across to Serena. “My number,” she says. “If you ever want to talk. We… we both loved her.”

The pub empties, gradually. Finally, Cameron, Charlotte and Jason come, help her up, help her into a taxi. They all get out at Serena’s house. Cameron makes tea, and they all cuddle on the sofa. Jason puts on an episode of Countdown and they watch in silence. It gets late. Charlotte is already asleep, curled up at the end of the sofa, so Serena fetches a load of blankets. Cam tucks Charlotte up. Jason claims the armchair. Cam holds out his arms to Serena and she snuggles into him, grateful for the affection he is offering. He pulls a blanket over them. Eventually, the room is silent.

They’ll wake up early; stiff from sleeping in awkward positions, but together. And that’s how they’ll get through it, as a family. An odd, mismatched family, but a family nonetheless.

+1)

Serena is in a vineyard, in France. She’s sipping Shiraz, enjoying the late autumn sun on her face. She stretches, smiles to herself. The hole in heart is healing, and she can be happy now without guilt instantly racking through her.

Her phone buzzes. It’s from Bernie, a selfie. Bernie is standing in the middle of AAU with a ridiculous pouty expression on her face. “I miss you!” follows immediately.

Serena chuckles. Bernie wouldn’t have sent it six months ago. She knows Bernie has missed her almost unbearably because she’s missed her too. But Bernie hasn’t ever mentioned it in her texts or emails. Kept her tone light and chatty, filled Serena in on hospital gossip and Jason and Celia’s slowly progressing relationship. In the last few weeks, however, sensing that Serena is recovering, she’s allowed some of her emotions to show.

Serena flicks back through her phone photos, studying Bernie’s face. She likes best the ones that she’s taken on the sly, where Bernie doesn’t know, where she’s simply reading, or chatting, or frowning at something on her computer. They’re the ones that show the real Bernie. She wants to take more.

It doesn’t take long too make up her mind, and she books a flight from her phone for two days time. Plenty of time to sample more of the vineyard’s wine. She’ll come home a year to the day since Bernie returned from Kiev.

She thinks of texting Bernie and letting her know, then thinks surprising her will be so much sweeter. So she texts Jason instead, because he definitely will not appreciate a surprise. Warns him to say nothing to Bernie. But he surprises her; offers to arrange a taxi to pick her up from the airport. He’s grown since she’s been away, this nephew of hers.

It’s a busy day on AAU. Bernie finally gets round all the patients then grabs herself a coffee and shuts herself in her office. Busy but successful. The little AAU family has reformed itself. Still misses Serena, will always miss Jasmine. But Donna and Fletch and Ollie fill the ward with fun. Morven, quieter, but not weighed down with sorrow anymore. And on the odd days Raf comes down from Keller it almost feels like old times.

She flicks through some notes as she sips. Engrossed, she doesn’t notice a sudden exclamation from the ward.

Five minutes later she regretfully throws her empty coffee cup in the bin (she really has been trying to be more tidy) and heads out.

“Could you check bed six?” Fletch asks and she nods.

The curtains are drawn around the bay. She tugs them open and finds herself staring into familiar brown eyes. Stands stock still in shock.

Serena smiles. “Surprise?”

“Serena,” Bernie whispers and throws herself at her girlfriend. Wraps herself around her, buries her face into her shoulder. Tangles a hand into her short grey hair. “You’re back, you’re back.” To her shame, tears pour down her face, soaking Serena’s blouse. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Serena pushes her back slightly, wipes tears from her cheek and studies her fondly. “I’ve missed you too,” kisses Bernie’s damp lips. “I love you.”

Bernie pulls her back into a bone crushing hug. “Never again,” she vows, “We’re never being parted again.”

“Suits me,” Serena replies.

Bernie leaves her shift early, is almost forced to by the rest of the team. She and Serena head home, head straight to bed. To kiss and touch and wonder. To relearn each other’s bodies all over again. To make up for months of longing and unfulfilled desire.

They eat Indian takeaway, sitting in their pyjamas at their kitchen table. Not speaking; there’s no need for words. Their eyes say it all as they gaze at each other.

Later they climb the stairs back to bed again. Bernie curls herself protectively around Serena and Serena sighs contentedly.

“It’s good to be home.”

“I’ve tried to keep it nice and tidy for you,” Bernie murmurs sleepily.

“Not the house, Bernie,” Serena kisses Bernie’s closed eyes, “With you.”

#berena #berena appreciation week #day seven: reunion #3 angst and 1 happy #please forgive the angst #my fic

33 notes · View notes

holbyconfessional · 7 years

Text

Holby City S19 E13 - I Do, I Do, I Do.

What follows may be a disjointed review. And long. Sorry! I really ought to have a rewatch before I post, but I’m not ready. So, there may be future reblogs if I miss anything important.

Firstly, Mr T’s wedding. I was ridiculously pleased to see Hanssen back, I always miss him when he’s gone. And it’s remarkable how well he managed to pull the Swedish trad attire look - never more noticeable than when he and Hanssen were making their way back to find Mo after Hanssen applied his uncanny ability to see right through everyone’s personal feelings - let’s call him the Feelings Fairy, or the Fairy Feeling-Father of Holby... But I digress.

Hanssen was great in this episode. As just mentioned, his counselling of Mr T that it’s Mo that he loves - coupled nicely with his wedding speech with the nod to Mo about everything that is meant to be happens eventually. Hiding in the tower, looking for woodpeckers to avoid being chased by Mama T, and just generally his reaction to the totally inappropriate sexual harrassment from the aforementioned Mama T.

Mo was great in this ep too. She looked amazing and had some great one liners, something about Swedish feet and lack of nerve endings, or some such! She knew what she was doing, telling Mama T about the lack of baby. She knew Mama T would blow the whistle. And hell, fair play, why not? If she couldn’t do it herself, best to hand the reins over! Also loved the birthing scene, with Mr T, Mo and baby Charleston. (Wonder how long they get to be happy before Charlie’s life is threatened?)

Without a doubt, the undeniable star of the wedding show was the inimitable Jac Naylor, Queen of sarcasm. She was just an absolute delight, from her first appearance in her suit, to her reluctant wedding dance and appeal to Mo to rescue her, down to her complaints about being Mo’s unplanned birthing partner for a second time. But then just getting into the water with all her damned clothes on to help Mo out regardless. And then, missing the drama and getting drunk... I can say without question that Jac was the saving grace for me tonight.

HOWEVER. I barely concentrated on a moment of the damned wedding. Even the Jac bits just flitted before my eyes. Because the whole episode was waiting for the next Elinor/Jason bit. There had been no secret in the spoilers that there would be a) an accident involving Elinor and Jason, and b) Serena and Mo would be having life changing experiences. Now, I may not be a rocket scientist, but...

So, on to the only bit I managed to really take in.

Wow, the accident happened early in the episode. When Elinor came in wired, talking about her report that she’d written, it appeared early on that her drug use was going to play a bit part in the episode. Actually, that theme was continued on later, when she was asking Jasmine where she could put her bag so that it was ‘out of the way’, ie hiding the evidence. However, from that point, the drugs were not really mentioned. I am surprised, however I suspect the issue may resurface (theories later).

The basis of the argument, or Serena supposedly keeping things from Elinor, turned out to be something as minor as Serena having stepped down as CEO and not discussed it with Elinor. It seems silly, but I guess if Elinor is feeling a little at sea having to adjust to a new relationship in her mothers life (gender irrelevant), then I guess she’s more likely to be a bit sensitive about everything, even the littlest things. And the drugs don’t help, kids!

Cue the racing to follow her out, and the accident - which Serena puts down to Elinor being so tired from being up all night.

Bernie was absolutely awesome, taking control. I guess her army training coming to the fore, as she has undoubtedly got feelings for Jason herself. She was amazing in theatre, although I felt the ‘it can’t be done’ from Morven, followed by the highly risky, almost impossible liver lac repair being successfully achieved by one Bernie Wolfe, Trauma Surgeon extraordinare was a mite heavy handed. Especially considering later events.

Bernie’s moment after the surgery, when all her emotions came out, was just beautiful. At the time, I was disappointed that we didnt get to see her break the good news to Serena, but again, later events explained why that wasn’t done.

Serena’s chat with (most probably shiftily playing around with drug paraphenalia) Elinor in the locker room was lovely. I loved the attempts at openness on both sides, of course designed to make Elinor a more sympathetic character before sending her to her fate, and Serena’s game was really sweet. Also Serena’s later reveal to Jason that she was thinking about inviting Ellie back to live with them again, ramping up the angst.

I will mention Liberty briefly, but I don’t think she deserves it. I can’t really see the point of her character anyway, so she showed up whilst Serena had to perform life saving surgery - she served no purpose to me at all, she didn’t make Serena look bad, she just showed up then buggered off, leaving nary a ripple on my screen.

Now to Elinor’s collapse. Naughty, naughty Jasmine. She is a doctor, yes? Since when is it OK for doctors to let themselves be talked out of giving a patient neuro obs? I know people can refuse treatment, but Ellie technically didn’t do that, and hells, woman, she’s Serena’s daughter. Mindless stupid girl. Not endeared her to me at all.

Bernie and Serena whilst watching Ellie’s surgery were lovely. The hand clutching for support, perfect. And finally, Serena at Elinor’s bedside running through the neuro tests that Ellie had failed - all the basic tests to determine brain stem function. Which seemingly is not present in Ellie. An absolutely heartbreaking scene. Bernie has clearly demonstrated her commitment to be there for Serena, which is great. BUT, I do feel that this disaster has been of rather epic proportions, quite unnecessarily so. I believe exactly the same committment could have been shown without tearing Serena’s life apart quite so dramatically.

I rather discordant note from that scene - for me - was Bernie asking Serena if Elinor was a donor. I don’t think Bernie should have done that at all. She was there as Serena’s support, not a transplant co-ordinator. And to have brought that up as a ‘spouse’, well, I think perhaps it’s a little soon in their relationship to be claiming joint parental responsibility for Elinor, especially with Elinor’s reaction to them.

This a pretty long post, seems a bit pointless to put a cut in now, but since I’m about to chuck in some speculation, here goes.

Elinor’s drug use. As I mentioned, with the repeated nods to it within the story, it seems that Serena is still unaware.. I feel it’s likely that the discovery has something to do with the chewing out she gives Jasmine in the Autumn trailer - so that’s one way they’re going to use it. But how will it come up now? My main bet is that Serena will decide to donate Ellie’s organs, so something good can come out of her death. But then some test or other will somehow highlight her drug use and render her organs unusable. Yet another blow for Serena. But with this theory, why do it? Does it really add to the drama? They’ve already established that the car accident could just have been a combination of tiredness and upset from the argument. They didn’t need to have Elinor as a drug user - the pain tht the knowledge would have brought Serena would have been far greater in life than after Ellie’s death, surely? It just seems extremely unnecessary - unless it really IS just a tool to allow Serena to yell at Jasmine, and surely, she’s got more than enough reason without that one.

My other theory, and I am aware that this is not going to happen (apparently some writer on Twitter categorically confirmed that Elinor was dead?) was that the drug use could have a far more interesting part to play. In an (quite possibly outdated and superceded) medical paper from the 1980s detailing the criteria for determining brain death, as seen here, in the case of head injury combined with a history of drug use, accurate measures of brain stem activity can’t be determined until several days have passed, as drug use could cause a temporary lack of activity. Therefore, I feel the most effective use of the storyline would be to have this happen - in other words, the drama without the death. It would still have been unlikely in this scenario that Elinor would have recovered unscathed, so still plenty of scope for long term angst. That, folks, is how I would’ve written it anyway :-)

Anyway, I rarely speculate quite so wildly in these reviews, so apologies. There are a lot of feelings out there at the moment, some folks are hopeful, others disheartened, and others still are painfully affected by the story. Regardless of which each viewer is, it’s undeniable that it’s going to be hard to watch, because if you’re reading this, there’s a fair bet you care about the characters. Bernie wasn’t wrong when she said that no parent should outlive their child. As an avenue to explore Bernie’s commitment to Serena, it all seems a bit crass to me. But we will no doubt get some amazing acting out of it.

Grief sometimes brings couples together. But sometimes it drives them apart. And since I’m all aboard the speculation train, I am just going to throw one last thought out there. I don’t know when JR’s contract is up, but Serena’s grief and pushing Bernie away, hell, it’s not inconceivable that a few months down the road it could be a departure storyline. Grief doesn’t pass overnight, the ramifications can be seen months down the line. And there’s only so long Bernie can try to be there for Serena if Serena chooses to repeatedly push her away. (Not specifically saying this is what I think will happen. Just generally sayin’!)

#Holby City #bbc holby #Mo Effanga #Mr T #Derwood Thompson #Jac Naylor #Serena Campbell #Bernie Wolfe #jason haynes #Elinor Campbell #berena #campwolfe #Henrik Hanssen

0 notes