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#yes he is a dilf but he is also insane

motherflecker · 2 years

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Top 5 comic book characters/superheroes and why are they your faves? 👀 (hope it's ok it's not drama related question)

nooo i love that this isn't drama related!!! cape comics were my main fandom for ages so it's fun to be able to talk about them again

let's see let's seeeee

Bruce Wayne / Batman - the obligatory number one boy. i feel very "well i loved him before it was cool" but it's also like, batman. everyone has a batman story. but! i remember being a Youth (like 14? 15?) and being like "well i want to get REALLY into the straightest white man thing i can think of bc i am a big gay brown girl and i'm better than them" and so chose batman. i didn't get as intensely into it until i was 16 where i just read fucking, everything. straight up, i only realized i had ptsd as a teenager through reading batman and the exploration of his trauma over the years (which is why tom king's batman is my favorite batman run). he's just a really personal love of mine and part of how i made it through the angry traumatized teenaged years of my youth!

Matt Murdock / Daredevil - if bruce is about ptsd, matt is about depression. he's another character where the exploration of his trauma through the comics really resonated strongly with me. the mark waid run in particular (which i know everyone always cites) did a lot for me. something about this page in particular is always something i come back to when i feel overwhelmed, and that's one of the few pages in comic books i can say made me and the way i deal with things feel really seen.

Damian Wayne / Robin - i love this kid. i love his anger and his earnestness and just how hard he tries. i don't think comic book writers are very good at writing kids generally speaking and especially not kids with trauma but damian gets the grace and care that he deserves. if you are not a damian lover, you will be after reading Tomasi and Gleason's run of Batman & Robin. that's where i fell in love with damian as a robin and bruce and damian as a unit. i know everyone cites the dickbats run for damian but i really think this does what i love for damian much better.

Oliver Queen / Green Arrow - i love ollie. COMICS OLLIE ONLY. god, he's been so badly misinterpreted by so many other media that i always hesitate to talk about him sometimes. comics ollie is my sweet socialist sjw who will throw tons of money at causes and also fight cops with his bare hands. i love his anger, i love his heart, i love the fact he's an oblivious frat boy poet. i love how much he cares and how he never hesitates to actually get into the issues. i also love that he would beat the shit out of barry allen for being a centrist piece of shit. i love oliver queen.

Reed Richards / Mr Fantastic - i love reed richards bc he is insane :)

#squee chats #anon #nemiyoru #top 5 #the reason all fantastic four adaptions fail #is bc they do not acknowledge that reed is a insane mass of body horror and mad science #yes he is a dilf but he is also insane #BOTH things can be true #anyway thank you for the ask!!! i love my comics faves

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chamomiletealeaf · 3 months

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sory if this is asked already buttttt🍑

yk that trend where girls stand next to cops/soldiers etc and do the "Everybody kmows that im a good girl Officer" thing😭

plsplsplspps pls pretty pls please with extra sugar and whipped cream ad ice vream and a big forehead kiss can you do 141 + könig reacting to reader (fem) doing this 💗💗💗

OMG THIS SCREAMS GAZ FOR SOME REASON I KNOW HE'D BE THE MOST REACTIVE (second to Johnny ofc)

You stand there with your phone as the audio plays and you act all cutesy and innocent in front of the big soldier in front of you.

Everybody knows that I'm a good girl officer you say with the audio hoping to get a reaction.

Gaz - He'd break so fast. So damn easily my god. He'd smile so big at the camera then at you with his handsome pretty face ugh he makes me sick. Who told him he could be so gorgeous and charming.

He'd cross his arms over his chest, smile not hidden by his sunglasses nor his hat as he tries to regain his composure.

RAHHH I LOVE HIM SO BAD

Johnny - He'd glance at you first before the camera. Then as he fully hears the audio he smirks and raises an eyebrow, as if to tell the camera "yeah right". He smirks and leans in to whisper something in your ear and your eyes go wide and your hand flies to your mouth as you end the video before the audio is even over. Then he's cackling like a hyena because he's insane and I need him and I love him.

Simon - He wouldn't even pay attention at first. But then he sees how pretty you are and he gives a little curious side eye, not even paying attention to the phone. Arms crossed over his chest, legs spread apart, he hears the audio and realizes what you're doing. His eyes never once looking at the camera, he stares at you, smirk hidden under his mask and his shoulders move with a little chuckle. (Everyone in the comments is going insane at the way he never takes his eyes off you and how you got him to break a little) the audio ends and you giggle shyly like a school girl as you thank him for the little video (He's hard now).

Price - He looks at the camera immediately, eyebrows furrowed like a confused dad trying to read what their kid is showing him on their phone. He hears the audio and his eyebrows shoot up and he looks at you. Arms also crossed over his chest he tilts his head down at you and says "Yeah I bet you are sweetheart." Then he looks forward as if you weren't even there with the cockiest smirk mankind has ever seen. (The comments are going insane over what this absolute sexy dilf of a man said to you to make you go stiff, speechless, open mouthed and wide eyed in the video).

Price saying sweetheart would cause 12983 fatalities and 12930849 injuries.

König - He goes stiff, looks so fucking nervous, because what is this pretty little thing doing giving him attention?? His arms are at his side as he tries to not look at you, but he glances down at the camera and hears the audio. His eyes widen (The comments go absolutely feral over how tall he is and his eyes widening at the suggestive words in the audio) Then he looks down at you and he smiles, eyes crinkling under the hood as he shakes his head, crosses his arms and looks away all shy like a cutie (because he knows you would be such a good girl for him RAHHHHHHH)

Yes I know this 6'10 war criminal is a big tough man but he is a cutie pie in my eyes.

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jujutsubaby · 3 months

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after hours (part 1)

☆ pairing: toji x afab!reader ☆ summary: toji, your objectively hot neighbor, needs a babysitter, and you need some cash. however, things are getting weird because he hasn't paid you in a week and rent is due... ☆ warnings: 18+. MINORS DNI. choking, oral sex (f!recieving), implied parent death, some public nudity, slight power dynamic ☆ tags: modernAU, babysittingAU ☆ a/n: lowkey wrote this with one hand if you catch my drift ꈍ .̮ ꈍ i'm thinking about doing more parts loosely based off of each other following y/n and a love triangle between gojo and toji. yes, they will be horny and yes i will *try* to have some plot let me LIVE okay (°◡°♡) let me know if that's something people are interested in :3 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

"megumiiii~", you sing lightly, "it's time for beeed". it's way past 9pm, and if toji finds out his son was 30 minutes past his bedtime, he'll never let you forget the next time you babysit. not that you have any issue babysitting for your extremely built, ripped, hot, dilf of a neighbor, that is.

megumi groans and tears start lining his little eyes. "but i don't wanna~" he cries out. "there's only 30 minutes left on this show...", he tries to beg. you pick up the candy wrappers you secretly gave megumi after dinner as a treat for eating his veggies.

"okay, first of all, i let you stay up way longer than i should have. second, there's no way in hell am i gonna let you stay up and watch...oh god. you're watching euphoria?!" you exclaim, eyes widening at the thought of megumi watching all the inappropriate content without you even realizing. you hope it's too late in the night and he's far too sleepy and tired to actually retain anything he just watched. you grab the tv remote and turn it off, and pick up megumi in your arms. "c'mon bubs, you've got school tomorrow, and your daddy will be home soon", you whisper softly in his ear.

megumi yawns and mumbles while slowly drifting off. "but i'm not even that sweepyy...". by the time you make it upstairs to his room, megumi is knocked out. you smile softly at him, before quitely closing the door and heading downstairs to the living room to clean up the mess megumi had made.

you look at the time again. 9:45...toji should be back soon, you think to yourself. you decide on reviewing some of your notes for a final next week while euphoria continues to play on the background. you've personally never watched the show, but your roommate, shoko, was obsessed with jacob elordi and loved euphoria, but there was far too much nudity in it for you.

as if right on cue, shoko shoots you a text.

shoko: pls tell me ur balls deep in toji rn babe me n utahime are bored as hell and we need something exciting this friday night 😭

you giggle. it was no secret between you and three that your next door neighbor was insanely hot. you guys always joke about sleeping with toji. you quickly type back:

y/n: stfu what if he was next to me and read this text huh? never gonna happen you know that 🙄

it’s not like you’re not not down for that. you just don’t want to be all over him like everyone else in the neighborhood. you and shoko have seen the way some of these girls did not know how to act on nextdoor whenever toji went on one of his shirtless runs or drove megumi to and from school.

it’s also not like you’re a total virgin either. you’ve had your fair share of ex-boyfriends in the past, but you won’t lie…it has been a while since you’ve been with someone. your thoughts are interrupted by a response from shoko.

shoko: riiiighttt, that's why you asked to borrow my shortest n sluttiest skirt to "babysit" tn 😏

you shake your head, scoffing at your cheeky roommate. you love her, but there's a final next week that isn't going to pass itself. muting the show and putting on your headphones, you get lost in your class notes, reviewing all the important key points and ideas before your final next week. you don’t even notice toji opening the door and his keys clanging on the table as he takes off his shoes and groans after a long day of…work? you’re not entirely sure what he does for a living but you never really bothered to ask. and it’s partially why you were feeling nervous to ask toji about your babysitting payment for the last week, as he hadn’t paid you at all for it. toji heads to the kitchen and opens a cold bottle of beer and saunters to the living room, only to be met with a pair of 4k hd bare titties on the 60 inch tv in his living room and you on the sofa.

toji clears his throat loudly. “whatcha watching, y/n?”, he says cheekily. you look up at toji, startled by his entrance, and you look at the tv, and squeal at what’s on display.

“oh my god, mr. fushiguro! i-i-i have no ideas w-what’s playing. ohmygodidon’tevenknowwhatshowisplaying-” you start rambling, looking around frantically for the remote to turn the tv off.

“relax, y/n-kun”, toji coos. “i’m not judging you. never known anyone to do their best studyin’ while there are a pair of tits on screen, but you always find a way to surprise me.” toji chuckles as you turn off the tv, and moves closer to you so he can sit across the sofa.

“stop teasing me, mr. fushiguro~”, you whine., crossing your arms and pouting. “you know i’d never-“

“c’mon y/n, how many times do i have to tell you to call me toji? i’m not that much older than you, you know that right?”, toji reminds you.

your pout slowly turns into a smile as you laugh slightly. “okay, whatever you say, boomer,” you tease. you and toji both laugh gingerly. you both stare at the blank tv screen, marinating in the comfortable silence you both were familiar with. toji was right when he said he wasn’t much older than you. he was, after all, your age when he had megumi and was somehow making ends meet as a single parent, although you would be lying if you said you hadn’t seen a few women here and there that toji brought home every so often. it was never the same girl more than once, but you definitely knew he had some game, whether you liked it or not. wait, do you not like that he brings girls over?

you shift uncomfortably on the couch as you recall the uncomfortable conversation you need to have with toji. he senses the change in your mood and how you body stiffened up instead of its usually relaxed posture. toji frowns. “hey, what’s on your mind, pumpkin?”

“umm…well, i hope you don’t mind me asking this but…well, i’ve got to pay my portion of rent soon. a-and i’ve noticed that i haven’t gotten paid for the last w-week yet. sorry, i know things are rough but…i was wondering…” you trail off, pleading inside that toji can fill in the blanks himself and can figure out what you’re asking.

toji shifts towards you and locks eyes with you. you don’t really know what you were expecting to see but it sure wasn’t him smirking. you swear you saw a twinkle of playfulness in his eyes as he inches closer and closer to you. almost instinctively, you clench your thighs together, trying really hard not to think about the effect locking eyes with toji has on you.

“aw, i’m sorry, pumpkin.” toji feigns sympathy to you. “you see, i was going to pay you last week. remember when you went to tuck megumi in after last thursday? i had an envelope with the cash i owed you, and i went to put it in your bag, when your laptop chimed with a new message.” your face immediately drops. this can’t be what you think it is. you’re not entirely sure what toji could’ve seen, but also, isn’t this a violation of your privacy? you hold your breath and gulp, daring not to let toji sense how nervous you are.

“oh god, y/n. i didn’t want to look but it’s hard to look away when there’s a message that says ‘so have you fucked your hot dilf neighbor yet?’ don’t tell me you were only babysitting for me because you wanted me?” toji asks, raising an eyebrow, the scar near his lip lifting up slightly in a teasing grin.

“i-i don’t know w-what you’re talking about, toji~ why were you looking at my messages!” you accuse, your face growing hotter by the second with embarrassment and…lust? wait what no, he’s your neighbor you can’t do this! you can feel your panties getting more soaked by the second and you cannot bear to look at toji’s stupid handsome face, so you look at his hands. the way his large fingers rest on the sofa. how would they look around your neck? oh my god, snap out of it!

“why are you telling everyone but me you think i’m hot?” he counters, pulling you from your thoughts. “that reallyyy hurts my feelings, y/n-kun”, toji says as he pretends to pout. wait, when did he get so close to you?

“it’s s-so unprofessional i didn’t want to-“ you start rambling. toji is right next to you, his knees touching your knees. he stops you mid sentence by using his hands that are practically the size of your face to grab your jaw and force you to face him, as you let out a pathetic little whine.

“cut the shit, pumpkin. it’s just babysitting, okay. it’s not that serious,” toji spits harshly. every muscle in your body is on fire, and you have to actively prevent your eyes from rolling back. you swear you had a fantasy dream like this once (oh god, was it with toji?).

“don’t think i don’t see you looking sooo disappointed when i bring yet another girl home with me. hell, it even makes me feel bad…” toji trails off, as he loosens his grip on your jaw, slowly using his fingers to trace your jawline. you shiver at his touch. “hell, even i feel bad when i see your sad sad face drop. my poor girl…”, toji feigns a frown as he starts to softly trace the outline of your lips.

instinctively, you let out a quite moan when his fingers touch your lips. “i do, toji. i feel so sad when i see you with those other girls. i can’t stand it when someone else has you.” you confess, almost embarrassingly easily. your wide bambi eyes look at toji’s, and you’re not sure if you want to cry or beeline back to your place and forget this ever happened. or perhaps a secret third option where you give in to the desires you’ve had all along?

toji groans deeply as he shifts slightly in his seat, but before you’re able to look down and see the hardening tent in his pants, toji shoves his index and middle fingers into your mouth, taking you by surprise. you stifle out a moan before toji sticks them deeper down your throat.

he doesn’t even have to ask you to suck on them as you instinctively start to do so, making a show of gagging on them for toji’s pleasure. you feel warm as you hear toji let out a groan as he slips in a third finger, making you choke on them. your moans vibrate against his fingers and he hums in approval of how well you’re doing with no instruction from him.

“you’re doing so well, pumpkin,” toji hums, a string of saliva connecting his fingers to your mouth as he slowly takes his fingers out of your mouth.

alright, fuck it. this sends you over the edge. your lips crash into toji’s, teeth hitting each as you both get to know the shape of each others mouths. you bite his lip and that’s all it takes for toji to pull you onto his lap and deepen the kiss with his tongue, exploring every inch of your mouth. you feel the vibrations of his groans and your hips grind into his thigh as you put your arms around his neck, pulling yourself as close as you can to him. your legs wrap around his torso as his hands grab your ass harshly. you let out a yelp into his mouth, daring not to end the kiss.

“oh you’ve been waiting for this haven’t you, pumpkin?” toji breaths against your neck after breaking the kiss. he begins to kiss your neck and you moan his name embarrassingly load.

“tojiiii~” you whine, “i need you, please~” you try to move your hips against him to feel some friction in the place you need it the most.

“shhh, you’re gonna wake m’gumi up,” he slurs in a low voice, already drunk off of your warmth. "not so fast, pumpkin", he says as he stills your hips, "i call the shots here." he grins and before you even know it, your back hits the sofa and he pulls your legs up on his shoulders.

you feel exposed, as shoko's pleated skirt does a poor job of leaving anything to the imagination, and all of a sudden, you really wish you wore your trusted boy shorts instead of your black lace thong under it. as he starts to kiss your ankles while looking deeply into your eyes, you see nothing but primal lust on his face. he lightly bites your ankle, making you slightly yelp before covering your mouth, remembering megumi upstairs.

toji's eyes wander to your sweet spot, and it's taking everything in you not to thrust your soaking core into his hungry face. "oh, is that where you want me to touch you?" he teases, his hands running down softly from your ankles to your inner thigh. your hips wiggle side to side, hoping his fingers end up grazing your aching core, but toji holds you hips down roughly. he scoots back and peppers your leg with kisses, slowly inching up and up until he's mere inches away from your panties.

he plants a wet kiss on your clothed mound and you let out a pathetic mewl as toji shoots his head up and stops dead in his tracks. "make another noise, pumpkin, and we end this right now and you go home frustrated and upset." he warns. unfortunately, this turns you on even more and your hands are over your mouth immediately, eyes shut closed, praying toji pities you and gives you some release.

you feel toji take off your panties agonizingly slowly, and your breath hitches. "oh, your panties are fully ruined. better get rid of them." toji says as he tosses them somewhere across the room.

"it's your fault..." you say, you voice a low whisper through your hands.

toji starts back at your mound again and moans into the kiss in agreement. his fingers lightly touch your core, and you shiver in anticipation. "oh, this is where your sensitive, right?" toji teases, as his fingers finally start circling the part of your delicate bud you've been aching for toji to touch. you bite your hand to prevent yourself from moaning loudly, and take deep breaths so to not make any noise.

toji starts circling your sensitive bud with his fingers, moving with your hips as you get to a rhythm that has you on cloud nine. you feel the familiar build up beginning, when toji abruptly takes his fingers away, leaving you breathless and practically whining from his lack of touch. "ohhh, don't worry, pumpkin. i just wanna taste you," he coos, before diving mouth first into your sensitive bud once more, tasting every inch of your delicate core.

this time, you're unable to hold back and your deep breaths are practically moans. you're laughing, whining, crying...you're not actually sure. you're mind is clouded by the pleasure toji's tongue is sending through your body.

toji's fingers start teasing your entrance as your hips buckle and you start grinding on his face. you're making a mess on his sofa but you don't even care, and neither does toji. "oh, toji, fuck~ that feels...soo good...fuck~" you whine. you're practically begging for his fingers inside you, and toji finally complies and inserts his finger inside you.

"please toji~", you whisper, "i need more, please, please."

"wow, someone's a bit greedy. one finger just isn't enough for a slut like you, huh?" toji chides, the vibrations of his voice going straight to your body. he inserts two more fingers, and you feel a pang of pain, which makes you yelp.

"toji~ it's too much," you cry out, unable to handle three of his large fingers inside you at once.

"oh, now it's a problem? you can take it, pumpkin." toji encourages, moving his fingers at a moderate pace while his mouth is still playing with your delicate bud. the pain slowly turns into pleasure, and the pleasure slowly turns into an inevitable build up that's starting to cloud your vision.

"toji~" you whine. "i'm getting so close, please..." you trail off, trying your hardest to lower your moans.

"please what?" toji asks, knowing full well what you wanted, and that he was the only person able to give it you. toji's member was practically begging for escape against his dark pants, but he was far too drunk on your sweet nectar. he doesn't remember the last time he tasted someone as addicting as you.

"please, can i...c-can i...?" you don't get to finish your sentence before toji groans a "yes" into your core, and the dam that had been building finally burst as you release all over toji's face.

you pant heavily as you finish, hoping you weren't too loud. toji lifts his head from between your legs and immediately darts to your lips, kissing you deeply before you can say anything. you moan into the kiss, still feeling the effects of your orgasm rippling through your sensitive body. you taste yourself in toji's kiss and you never want it to end. a whine escapes your mouth when toji's lips finally disconnect from yours, an unashamed smile playing on toji's face. "did you like that, pumpkin?" he asks.

you're still catching your breath as you nod and smile, gazing at him softly. you can't help but want to return the favor for toji, as you slowly get up and scan toji up and down. god, he's so fucking fit.

you scoot closer to toji, maintaining eye contact, and placing your hands on his upper thigh. oh my god, his legs are just pure rock hard muscle. your hands shake slightly as they make their way on top of toji's hard straining member. toji chuckles as you grasp him over his dark pants, stopping you in your tracks by grabbing your wrist and moving it away from him.

"woah, hold on there y/n. it's 11pm. a bit too late to start something now, dontcha think?" he inquires, raising his eyebrows at you.

heat rises to your cheeks and you feel so embarrassed you could combust. oh my god, wait, does he not want you to return the favor? the insecurity showed up immediately on your face, with your lips frowning and eyebrows scrunching. toji cups the side of your face endearingly and his thumb grazes your lower lip before letting it sit there.

"hey, don't give me that look. i want this. i want you but...it's late. megumi has school tomorrow and it's parent teacher night. i know you have class, too," he explains.

you pout, but not before sucking toji's thumb that was grazing your lower lip and giving it a wet kiss. "that's not fair~ i really want to return the favor toji..." your voice trails, as you already know this conversation is over. you sigh as you turn away from him and reach for your notebook and laptop on the coffee table. you get up and bend down to grab your bag and start packing your belongings and fishing out your keys.

you hear toji hum and turn around to see the gears twisting in his dark eyes that are fixated on you. wait, hold on. he's not looking at you. he's looking at your ass. and he's being so obvious and unashamed about it, too!

you blush and roll your eyes as you chide toji. "wow, so you don't want me to suck your dick but you're gonna look at my ass as i leave?"

toji laughs earnestly and the sound of his laughter makes you feel warm and relaxed inside. you could probably live the rest of your life hearing that laugh. wait, what? rest of your life?

"first off, i do want you to suck me off, pumpkin. second, am i not allowed to respectfully admire? anyway, i was thinking. maybe you come with us to the parent-teacher meeting tomorrow? you practically help the kid with his homework every other night, and i think he really sees you as someone he can trust." toji says, bringing you out of your thoughts. you notice the hidden solitude behind his eyes, and feel a pang of melancholy in your heart. you don't know much about toji and megumi's mom, and you never thought it appropriate to discuss with either one of them, so you always let it be. a part of you is curious and another part is afraid to touch such a vulnerable side to toji, fearing it may alter your relationship with him permanently.

"we can grab dinner before, too. my treat." toji winks, and you scoff. he never even makes sure there's food for you at home before he leaves, always leaving you to pay for your own dinner every night you babysit, let alone pay a meal for you.

you roll your eyes, trying to act upset, but a giggle breaks out anyway. "yeah, i'd love to." you respond genuinely.

you finish packing up your things before searching for your discarded panties in toji's living room. "looking for these?" toji teases, holding up your lacy black thong, still ruined with the mess you made earlier today.

"give 'em back, toji~" you say, trying to reach for the panties from toji, before he stuffs them in his pocket.

"i think i'll keep these actually. they need to go in the laundry anyway, might as well be here." he teases, as you pout. toji cracks an evil grin, knowing deep down you must love having to go back home without any panties in your short skirt.

and he was right, you kinda did love it. a blush creeps up to your cheeks as you shake your head in dismay. "you're so fuckin' annoying, y'know?" you say as toji interlaces his fingers with yours as he walks to you to the door.

"yeah, i know. let's see if you're still that mouthy after you choke on me tomorrow," toji says, giving you a playfully menacing look.

the cool air of the late night nips at your skin, making you shiver, but you know deep down that has more to do with thinking about all the things toji will do to your poor throat tomorrow evening. "hm, we'll see...," you say, as your breath hitches slightly. you stand up on your tippy toes to give a quick peck goodnight to toji.

you honestly should've known better because toji immediately leans forward and turns the quick kiss into a deep make out session in the chill yet humid night air. he's quick to grab your ass, and you're quick to regain your senses and break off the kiss. oh my god, what if someone saw us, you think, recalling all the girls in the neighborhood that fawn over toji and the fact that you weren't wearing panties thanks to toji.

"stop toji~ it's late like you said," you whine, wriggling out of his strong grasp. you turns you around, you back flush against him and he laughs into your neck, arms wrapping your hips tightly from behind.

he releases you but not before giving you one last squeeze. "goodnight, pumpkin."

"night, toji," you say softly as you turn around and head to your car in the driveway. you do a poor job of pulling your skirt down as low as it can possibly get without you looking incredibly stupid, and cross your arms in the cold breeze.

you hear the door close, and start up the car engine and back out, relying only on muscle memory to get you home, as you spend the entire five minute car ride thinking solely about everything that happened today. how were you ready for another release already? you make a mental note to charge your vibrator when you get back to your apartment.

just as you pulled into the drive way, you jaw fell and you remembered. oh shit wait, he still hasn't paid me.

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suiana · 1 year

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So need dad and house husband know each other? Does that mean yandere nerd father potential 👀

NO WAY ANON TGATS AN AMAZUNG IDEA and yes, nerd's father and househusband know each other

✎ yandere! government official headcanons . . .

✎ warnings . . .

― obsessiveness, possessiveness, baby trapping, dilf etc.

(afab! reader x male yandere! oc)

✎ yandere! government official who was your high school sweetheart. how could you not fall for him? charming, tall, handsome, smart... he was the whole package! he was perfect. everyone wanted him, even you. and unfortunately, he wanted you too. you caught his eye and you had to pay the price.

✎ yandere! government official who made you feel like you were living the highschool dream. going on romantic dates, cheering for him during his competitions...you really did live the dream life. until your boyfriend messed up.

✎ yandere! government official who accidentally let slip to you about what his future career would be. what? how could he do such a thing?! no way, you had to leave-

✎ yandere! government official who wouldn't let you leave. no, you couldn't leave. YOU WON'T LEAVE. you took his heart and you had to pay the consequences. besides, if you left he would have to kill you for you knew too much. we dont want you dead now do we?

✎ yandere! government official who reveals his obsessive and possessive nature after you found out about his future career. no...it's not that he revealed it, it's that you finally noticed it. you opened your eyes and realised that he wasn't as perfect as you thought he was.

✎ yandere! government official who manipulates everyone close to you as if they were just mere pawns on a chess board. of course everything was fine in your relationship with him! why would anything be wrong?

✎ yandere! government official who graduates with you by his side. his lovely sweetheart...his everything...you'll stay with him, won't you? you don't have a choice, you WILL stay.

✎ yandere! government official who marries you the second he finishes university. honestly, he wanted to marry you right after the two of you graduated high school but his father advised him not to. he was actually really depressed for a period of time because of that haha!

✎ yandere! government official who brings up starting a family. you'll agree, won't you? after all, he needs a successor and he'd rather it be genetically his and yours. and yes, this is yet another way to keep you with him.

✎ yandere! government official who's extra soft and sweet when you're pregnant. it's honestly scary how this...this monster can change personalities so easily.

✎ yandere! government official who laughs at your attempt to teach your child to not turn out like him. oh darling, he should've told you that being insane runs in the family! did you know that his mother also tried to stop him from turning out like his father? look what happened! it really is a vicious cycle that can't be stopped, huh?

✎ yandere! government official who installs cameras all over your mansion, hires the best of guards and always has someone watching you when he's at work. don't try anything funny sweetheart, you wouldn't want to get punished now would you?

✎ yandere! government official who always treats you just like he did in the honeymoon stages of your relationship, just with more insanity, possessiveness and obsession now that you're married to him.

✎ yandere! government official who feels content with his life. his beautiful sweetheart, a cute little child who will succeed him, and obedient house staff. what more could he ask for? oh he can't wait to see the darling his son will bring home!

✎ "sweetheart, I'm home~"

#tw yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #male yandere x reader #yandere blog #yandere hcs #yandere headcanons #yandere government official #yandere government official headcanons #yandere government official x reader

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reveluving · 1 year

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I AM BACK AGAIN WITH MY HEAD IN HANDS AND HORNY BRUCE WAYNE ON MY MIND I NEED THAT MAN ABSOLUTELY INSANELY DESPERATE FOR BATMOM. SOMETHINNG ABOUT THE URGE.... DELICIOUS

BRB MICROWAVE NOISES ARE HAPPENING IN MY HEEEEAD 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

writing milf!Batmom was bound to happen at some point lol I was waiting for the day to finally happen fr fr SO HERE ❤

warnings: smut (18+ content, minors DNI!)

Look, with that many kids in the household, did you really think no one's going to talk about how sexy of a mother Mrs Wayne is?

Don't get me wrong, Bruce being called a DILF is not uncommon! Just look at him; a rich and respectable hunk of a man, who is also a father of six children and counting? So much hotter than when he was known as a playboy all those years ago. It was only natural for the public to talk about the missus in question as well.

Who could've possibly been the one to finally tame the Bruce Wayne and better yet, encouraged him into the married life?

You, obviously, and boy, did the public understand why.

No matter how much the media tries to deny it, they can never ignore your beauty, your grace, and dare I say, your MILF-ness.

C'mon, everyone's eyes were always on you the second you'd step foot into the gala. Oh, Mrs Wayne is here, in her new silky, silt-cut dress, matchint heels and jewellery that complements your every feature?

Sign me the fuck up!

You may have acknowledged the reputation bestowed upon you, but what you didn't realized was just how strong that power was.

But, of course, your reputation comes with a bit of a price to pay. Not by you, but by your children.

If there was one thing Dick, Jason and Tim were especially too familiar of hearing, especially on social media, it's about you, and the Internet can be very open with their thoughts. People are getting too comfortable on the app, as one would say.

While there was no denying that you were in fact beautiful, they were still your sons, and to see such language about you was almost as traumatic as seeing you and Bruce fooling around in bed.

• 'Mrs Wayne is so hot??? HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HER IN THOSE HEELS??? GYAT'

• 'I've seen her IRL when I was visiting her café and let me tell you; photos do NOT DO HER JUSTICE 🥵'

• 'If my future husband and I don't give Bruce and (Y/N) Wayne energy, I don't want it ☝🏼🤨'

• 'mrs wayne's thighs appreciation: a thread that will having you SCREAMING [includes 10+ photos]'

That last one in particular had an intimidating number of likes, mind you. As if their own set of fans weren't a lot to deal with already.

But hoho, if we're talking about Bruce Wayne's opinion on the matter?

Picture this.

It's like watching an edit of your favourites; going from a random video of you adorably scrunching up your nose to BAM—a slow-mo of you looking like a literal model. How or where anyone's ever gotten that footage from was uncertain, but if you asked Bruce if he's ever seen that video before?

Chances are, he'd say yes.

Repeatedly, even.

Hell, he might've saved it somewhere, amongst other 'tresures', for educational purposes.

He acknowledges the fact that you may be a teenage boy's fantasy, the dream trophy wife of many men, regardless if they were in their lonesome or in a tasteless marriage, but in the end of the day, you were his, just as he was yours.

And while he has the means to save your most intimate moments via his greatest machines, he actually prefers the good ol' polaroid. Saving at least a couple of boudoir photos in his pocket, wallet, the Batmobile, locked away in one of the Batcomputer's rack and much more. Whether they're photos of you lying on your stomach cross-legged in your lingerie, or even a picture of the two of you, glistening in sweat and naked in front of the mirror, he never ran short of his precious 'supplies', and he has more where that came from.

Knowing he was the only one able to not only see you, but make you writhe and scream and cum in his bed—in your bed, around his cock? He could die a happy man, truly. And he'll do just about anything you ask him to, no question?

Want his fingers inside you while he smothers his face in between your breasts? Certainly.

Want him to lie back so you can straddle his face and make you cum with that talented tongue of his? You don't have to tell him twice.

Want him to take your dress and lingerie off so slowly, even though his cock is aching to be touched by those sweet hands of yours? Say no more.

That man is always hungry for you, borderline desperate even, but what's new.

But, if it ever goes down to you, or when the public gets too comfortable voicing out, especially in front of you, and it clearly rubs you the wrong way, best believe he'll do something about.

He doesn't need the comments of others to know how sexy of a woman his wife really is, after all.

I wanted to write smut for this, considering it is a milf!batmom after all, but we all know how long it takes for me to do that HAHA I hope y'all still liked this one tho! Please don't forget to leave some sugar! ❤

#— reve's reverie 🌹#— reve's asks 🌹#a mother's touch series #batmom #batmom reader #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x batmom #batman x you #batman x reader #batman

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kristvns · 1 year

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# ( 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐅𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 ! )

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆; featuring: 𝗍𝗈𝗃𝗂 𝖿𝗎𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈, 𝗇𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗆𝗂 𝗄𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗈, 𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗎𝗇𝖺, 𝗌𝖺𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗃𝗈, & 𝗇𝖺𝗈𝗒𝖺 𝗓𝖾𝗇𝗂𝗇

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓; 1600+

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒; sexual content, mdni, fem! reader intended.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒; old draft from a while ago so posting it on here. And even though they aren’t all canonically dilf’s they are in my head. Reblogs are appreciated <3 unedited

𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎: humiliation + degrading

ღ Humiliation kink: I think everyone knows he's into degrading but let's talk about how Toji would definitely have his fair share of humiliation ( sadist ). Sex in the public? yes. Fucking you in the mirror. yes. Fucking you against the window of his high-rise apartment on the very top floor? yes. In fact he would drive insane from the pleasure he would feel from the high chances of both you and him getting caught. There was one time when Toji decided to take you out to a fancy dinner because he wanted to "get out the house" and of course your innocence believed it.

You thought it would be a quick little date of both you and him talking over some overpriced food and wine. Wrong. Of course, Toji didn't just pick the table in the far back just to talk to you about your day. Poor Toji just wanted to experience one of the many things on his bucket list and that's eating you out while the waiter takes your order. Be happy he didn't pick a table in the middle of the restaurant.

ღ Degrading: Now let's speak about Toji and Degrading. It's such a dangerous combo. He would Mutter phrases like "stupid fuckin' slut. You're that fucking cock hungry? Takin' me in whole I see" or when you whine out "it's too much m'cant take it" in the pillow he's pounding you in. Toji can sometimes go a little too far by accident. We all know Toji fushiguro does not know when to filter his mouth even if he tried his hardest.

He would go a little overboard when it comes to degrading. Bringing up your insecurities or soft subjects you really don't enjoy talking about. Toji usually struggles with soft words, speaking about how he feels or even showing kind jester's. And since your his first love he really apologizes when he goes to far since he have the fear of loosing you

𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀: size kink + overstimulation

ღ Size kink: Sukuna secretly enjoys the size difference. Doesn't matter your weight, size, or height sukuna would always feel the need to "overpower you". you, he can't help but compare how small you are to him. He also Love's it when you ride him, he also would fondle with your breast while you're at it. Kissing and teasing them is always a must. Sukuna also loves watching you struggle to take his fat girth which brings out his dominate side more than anything. He grunts when he tries to push his girth in between your wet folds since your so tight, even after the many times the two of you had sex it still amazes him how you fit so tight around him. When sukuna is holding You think he's just showing affection when he's caressing and massaging against your stomach in reality he's just measuring how far his cock can go before touching your cervix once again.

ღ Overstimulation: Sukuna can't also always have what he wants, but he can't help himself but to keep going when you came around his cock 3 times in the last 30 minutes. Overstimulation and sukuna is a bad combo. He won't stop until you begging, telling him you can't cum anymore. He still managed to make you cum an extra 2 times. Too bad sukuna always get's what he wants. Sukuna would have you pinned down on your stomach on the bed while eating you out doggy style. You don't know what's making sukuna go so angry and crazy for doing something like this unexpectedly. He made you cum 3 times already in the span of 20 minutes.

Nanami kento: bondage + dracryphillia

ღ Bondage: it took quite a while for Nanami to find the kink’s that really turned him on. It started when you decided to stop by your husbands office to drop off his lunch that you unfortunately forgot to pack for him to take with him. When you arrived nanami was very stressed and frustrated: so like any other perfect wife would do you, you decided to help him take his mind off things. Nanami used his tie to tie around your wrist and to bend you over his formal desk area before fucking you in obliviation. Nanami actually really enjoys the view, he also really loves how it gives him all the power in the world for him to throw you around like a sex toy.

ღ dracryphillia: Nanami know’s it’s wrong, but he honestly can’t help it. You look so pretty when you cry and nanami can’t hold back. Whether it’s edging you, fucking you, overstimulating you it doesn’t matter nanami will do anything to watch fat tears roll down your cheeks. Nanami also enjoyed it when you cry giving him a blowjob. When he purposely shoved his length a little to far for your liking causing you to cry from the impact that Nanami knows good and well you can’t take. He almost felt bad when he watched your cheeks get stained with your warm tears. Almost.

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎: hate sex & Voyeurism

ღ Hate sex: hate sex is the best sex. Gojo is the type to purposely argue with you, specifically getting you riled up because he did something he clearly knows you told him not to do. Here's how it started, you specifically told gojo to NOT interrupt you since today you're working from home. You reminded him for a week straight prior to this important zoom call that was being taken in the home office. Gojo just couldn't help it though. He would hate to admit it but seeing you in formal clothes was definitely a new kink for the growing man.

Gojo knew what he was getting himself into when he would prouposlj budge in asking dumb questions during your zoom meeting. Saying "where's the toolbox at?" even though the two of you never owned one to begin with. Or "can you help me which tie to where for work?" Gojo hates ties and dressing up. So all theese shannaginvs were really blowing you. It came to the point where the boss had grew tired of you turning off your camera and mic every 5 seconds. One in which you forgot to turn off when you cursed out gojo. After that meeting you didn't talk to gojo the rest of the day, neither the next day. He apologized so many times with his kisses and affection saying he was just bored. And so, for having him to appologize gojo and you had the best hate sex there was. Just to apologize by having sex or just simply fucking and getting it over with. It never fails, It always works.

ღ Voyeurism: Piggybacking off the previous, gojo enjoy’s fucking you while your on the phone. He can’t help it, it’s something about the excitement & risk that gets him off, he really can’t help it. There was once when your mother called and gojo just couldn’t keep his hands off of you as he promised he’ll keep quiet. There was also another time when your ex called; which of course made satoru furious but that didn’t stop him from making you ride his face while he was on the phone, but this time he wouldn’t keep quiet. He wanted the prick on the other side of the line to get the memo and fuck off. He placed his tongue and all your sweet spot’s knowing you couldn’t hold back and forbidden you to hang up.

When satoru heard how your ex was begging for you to come back and to ditch whoever you were with it made satoru very annoyed and pissed, which caused him to start fucking you while he was still on the phone. Unfortunate for your behalf you let out a few moans which caused your ex to think you were getting off to him. When it clearly wasn’t the case at all. Maybe satoru should record you and send a video to him so the damn prick can back off of what’s his.

Naoya zenin: brat taming.

ღ brat taming: Naoya loves being in control. He want’s to be the one that call the shots whether that’s not allowing you to cum, overstimulating you or even edging you. He rarely, and I mean rarely allow’s you to control him but when it happen’s naoya completely bottom’s out which is why he rarely allows you to take control. Naoya enjoy’s making you pissed, hell purposely get you rolled up, act’s naive when your needy, purposely get’s you to do stuff he told you not to do to then give him a reason to be in control and put you in your place.

Suguru geto: praise + breeding kink

ღ Praise: Suguru loves you. He loves everything about you and that’s where the praise comes in. He’s obsessed with you in every way possibly which is why suguru has a very very strong praise kink for you. He know’s you have you doubt’s about the relationship the two of you share but he makes sure to prove them all wrong while the two of you are making love. Whether that’s constantly telling you how much he love you, saying how good your taking him or even saying how much of a “good girl” you are to him.

ღ Breeding kink: it’s just something about the way suguru can’t pull out when he’s about to cum. Yes suguru pull out game is weak but having a couple kids with him couldn’t be that bad. Suguru fucks you in a full mating press as he can’t stop fantasizing of filling your cunt up with loads of cum. It’s a risk that gets him off knowing that there is a high chance you can get pregnant if he keep it up. Suguru would groan just of the mere thought of it — you walking around the house swollen with his kids, your kids. As your breast are constantly growing sore and swollen just waiting for the comfort of his hands.

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legodamianwayne · 7 months

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BATMAN AND ROBIN 2023 #1 (Take 6 (yes))

(im not writing this as i go since ive already read the issue before. ill also be mentioning gotham war since this takes place during it (just a warning for spoilers!))

i just noticed the bat and robin on the cover! so cute

OH........(just noticed this too) that doesn't look good

look at them goofing off n having fun

this is cute but the way bruce acts here and in gotham war is so jarring its kinda funny

bruce in batman #137: can't stand my fake ass family

bruce in b&r: me and my son damian 🤗

bruce is in his "local dilf in the area" era rn

damian having talia's mannerism that bruce noticed is so <3

and here its confirmed that this takes place during gotham war. not sure how to feel about that

STILL INSANE OVER THIS baby first self insert fanfic

damian went from drawing hyper realistic gore vent art to anime eyes in the corner

i think it'd be fun if we see damian write more as the story goes on. like him daydreaming n doodling in class

wonder if theres any meaning with damian putting talia as a hero n bruce as a criminal here...or maybe its just a "totally original character do not steal" thing

you dont say bruce 🙄

"the last few years"?? pretty sure the events shown there all happened not even in 2 years since damian turned 14 around the start of the lazarus tournament

also why are alfred n talia not shown there? alfred's death has huge impact on damian (he literally hallucinated him) n talia was there as much as ra's

i dont like how damian looks here but that white connor should be a crime

"thats enough emotions for tonight father" [slams door]

i wonder why damian is staying with bruce tho (outside of making this book exist) didn't bruce n talia had a custody battle moment™ n damian's like "nah i have my own life (is literally 14)"

HELL YEAH MY BOY CAN COOK

he's quoting alfred ohhh im gonna sob

this is kinda embarrassing for bruce...like ur son is finally living with you again n he's the one up early cooking?? sir u better step up

aw he's making tea the way alfred did

*squints* did bruce get his hand back? thats a pretty normal looking hand to me

did damian's comment on it in batman #137 made bruce think "shit i cant give damian any ideas of getting a robot hand" n he just. magically grow it back

[GLASS SHATTERING SOUND]

gotham...heights? n. not gotham academy? no maps? no damian joining her dnd team?? no detective club finally hanging out with damian??

ik damian got expelled from gotham academy BUT. WHY

okay? whats the point if he's not going to the same school that his friend went to?

interesting how damian fantasize for a normal life in robin 2021 (with him liking the mundanity of shoujo manga) n now that bruce is offering him that he's rejecting it (or maybe he just rly don't like school which is. fair enough)

wellll just cuz we're not getting maps n the detective club doesn't mean damian's other friends arent showing up right? RIGHT? (maya plz come home)

THE ROBIN MOBILEEE it looks so ridiculous i love it

HOLD ON. DOES THIS CAR HAVE NO SEAT BELTS?? BRUCE UR LETTING THIS SLIDE?

ik that thing is rly loud too damian waking up the whole neighborhood here

not rumors abt the batfam fighting getting spread around?? this is so embarrassing omg

am i the only one getting gotham academy flashbacks here? with killer croc n the trio with the fox shark n bird masks

they're very comfortable with calling eachother father n son while in suits huh. ig everyone in gotham knows that batman is a dilf (who's beefing with his adult children) now

not much to say abt the rest: bruce got shot with something n now bats are attacking him

end thoughts: i hope with all the focus on animals here means that we're getting damian's pets back soon n that gotham war wont affect this book much since i rly want to see damian interact with his siblings again. also is it just me or does the day scenes looks very bright? saturated? it kinda hurts for me to read idk. the night scenes r pretty tho

next issue is damian's first day on his new school that is not gotham academy but im still excited for it! (coping)

bonus bestie corner

#damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman and robin 2023 #FINALLY tumblr keeps posting it while im editing it but its done yippee #this is inspired by makeste bnh/a liveblogs! i remember how much fun it was reading them that i wanna try it with b&r #tho i dont think i could ever write as much for a single issue...#still figuring out how i want to do this

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hualianff · 1 year

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Hua Laoshi

Thinking about Professor HC. He’s like late - 30’s, total dilf, but really well respected and liked - students really love his classes. He makes history enjoyable to learn, after all.

He’ll go on wild yet profound tangents and has great PowerPoints. Sometimes a random gif will pop up here or there because he forgot to take them off; they were just for jokes oops but hey at least the students find them funny.

There’s a reason why HC leaves his notes to the powerpoints. Mans can barely write his name legibly, much less use the chalkboard for anything besides drawing. However, his maps are actually insane - he could actually be a map-maker.

HC’s assignments entail lots of writing and some group work, plus participation points are a must, but it’s to be expected because his courses are usually for upperclassmen.

The new incoming students are always blown away by the sheer amount of knowledge HC has AND that he is articulate enough to teach in a way that all his students can actually learn.

Many students see Hua laoshi in and out of the library, checking out numerous books at a time and if a student asks for help in furthering researching a topic, HC is diligent about guiding them to relevant resources or even having the university order the texts themselves.

HC is fluent in seven languages, and can understand basic conversations in even more. Thus, if some students think they can gossip in another language, HC will eventually let them know in the slyest ways that nothing gets past him.

HC’s wardrobe is refined with plenty of statement pieces and accessories. This includes the fancy pins on his suit jackets, the most commonly worn ones being a butterfly and a flower. On numerous occasions, he’s been voted as the most stylish professor on campus.

His office is also one of the best designed, with comfy chairs and lots of desk space, traditional paintings hung everywhere, a few plants lining the window sill, several mugs labeled with “student tears,” etc. On his desk sits all his devices neatly plugged in, a picture of his black cat (E’Ming), and a picture of him and his husband on their wedding day.

Yes, even with all the rings HC wears on all his fingers, the polished silver band on his left ring-finger never goes unnoticed.

It’s really no secret how much of a romantic sucker HC is for his husband.

Once, on the first day of classes when HC was connecting his computer to the projector, his desktop photo was revealed on the big screen: a photo of XL mid-laugh, laying next to HC when they had one of their picnic dates.

Or another time when HC meant to freeze the screen that had instructions for a small in-class writing assignment but didn’t, which exposed the document HC was writing on with ideas on what Christmas gifts to get for his husband.

Another year, at the start of the second semester, HC began his lecture with, “So, no one asked what I did over break but-” he makes a show of pressing the clicker, and a photo of HC ice-skating pops up. “-yes, I did ice skate for the first time, and yes, I did out-skate everyone on the rink.”

He nods with a complete deadpan. A series of chuckles ring across the room.

“Except my husband, of course.”

The slide switches to a picture of XL skating (taken by HC, obviously), the warmest smile on his face.

“See how cool he is.” :)

HC keeps going with pictures and even videos of XL skating, the class occasionally breaking into choruses of “ooohs” and “ahhhs.” They don’t need to know that this is the part of the powerpoint HC spent the most time preparing, but with HC standing at the front with the biggest fucking grin on his face (#proudhusband), the students could probably guess that was the case.

Here Hua laoshi is, starting the semester off by showing off his husband, as he should.

Some students have had the privilege of running into HC and XL during their date night !! As in, sitting at a table far enough away where they can see XL talking enthusiastically - waving his hands in large motions and swirling his glass - while HC listens and nods with the softest smile.

Honestly, anyone with functioning eyes wouldn't help but be able to gush over how cute the couple looks.

One of the students actually crosses paths with XL in the bathroom. They washed hands side-by-side and then XL used a paper towel to open and hold the door open for them! Back at the student table, the lucky soul proceeded to whisper-scream about how pretty Hua laoshi’s husband is.

XL subbing for HC’s class once in a blue moon - basically XL going through HC’s PowerPoint and thoroughly explaining everything because HC talks about his lessons so much.

XL: “ahah I’m your sub for today, serves me right since I’m the one who got your professor sick” 😅

XL reading over HC’s notes: “hmm, ok, your professor also wrote down that-“

A random student: “wait a min, he can read hua laoshi’s handwriting?”

A second student: “hmm, makes sense, they are married after all”

A third student: “opposites do attract i guess”)

2. Also, XL frequently uses the chalkboard and students are like 😱😱he writes beautifully!

XL messing up: “oops lemme erase this-“

The students: “NO ITS FINE”

3. One student: “ahh, I see Xie laoshi is wearing Hua laoshi’s lucky tie today”

XL, looking down at the crimson dragon printed tie: “huh? this is mine though…San Lang wears it…?”

The students: “Oop exposed”

Which alludes to how seldom XL seems to wear ties.

(HC when XL gets home and nonchalantly begins loosening the tie: “holy shit, i married THAT”

4. The students zero in on the red coral earring XL dangling from his right ear lobe, the match to HC’s who either wears it on his ear or attached to his braid.

***

Incidentally, the first time HC hears himself being referred to as a “dilf,” he’s that meme with the lady who has the math/science equations in the air. They think he’s a WHAT? Is it the way he dresses? Or talks? Like what is it about him that makes him a “dilf?” Because HC in his life has never-

Oh wait. Hang on a second.

HC arrives home and sees XL working on the couch, glasses on, hair in a half-bun, tight-white shirt, sipping on some tea.

HC may actually be familiar with the feeling…!!

《II》

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #modern au #professor hua cheng #fluff #cerdrabbles #married hualian

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johannestevans · 1 year

Text

so important for the twink who's been lusting over his middle-aged oblivious het work colleague to finally just break and he like Hey real quick can I suck your cock

and colleague, who's never received a BJ or tbh a compliment before, including from his ex wife, to be like. huh?

like I'm just thinking and average looking guy who's a little too into his work and isn't great at charming people, he's blunt and a little bland

doesn't feel great about his appearance bc he's not too tall and he's stocky and pudgy and he's not got the big chiseled jaw

meanwhile this twink is. fucking salivating at the DILF supreme with his big strong hands and his weighted body and his hairy chest and his thick thighs and the way his eyes crinkle at the edges when he smiles

and the colleague is like but??? aren't you very gorgeous? by gay guy standards? can't you, um. do better? bc even women aren't particularly attracted to me, at least, they've never said

and the twink is like. ok well they're insane, open your jeans

idk im thinking about the particular het culture where autistic guys especially get overlooked dating wise anyway, but also some cishet women just never compliment their partners' appearances even just to say "looking handsome!" bc they think feeling attractive is for women only

and then you have. twink.

who's just a little drunk and/or stoned and horny and is just like Please, based on the rest of the package here, I'm assuming your dick is great

and the guy is like there is??? no package available

and twink like???? you have nice hair, your eyes are gorgeous and you have that cute crinkle and the dimples, you have strong shoulders and I've watched you lift stuff, you could definitely lift ME, and you're hairy which is HOT and you've got great legs

is your lap comfy

and colleague blustering and red faced but it doesn't occur to him to refuse when the twink gestures to his lap, and he's WARM and his hands are sliding down his neck and his thumbs are on his jaw, and colleague isn't attracted to guys but… this is NICE

esp twink kissing him and colleague trying to kiss back and twink being like EW stop that stop that right now what the fuck.

and colleague like oh I'm so sorry fuck i--

and twink all, kiss like i show you, don't be so liberal with the tongue

and they're kissing and it… it actually feels NICE? it feels good? especially bc the twink is grinding down in his lap and colleague is like 😳😳😳 bc he's hard and also he's 44 and just got Educated in Kissing Properly which he didn't know you could even do wrong

twink getting to his knees and colleague trying to be like oh no no you don't have to--

and twink like, i absolutely have to do this and might die if i don't. are you okay with killing me

and colleague like. I'm. I'm pretty sure you won't die from not sucking me off

and the twink like, alan, you didn't even know which month was pride month, so why would you be that confident about me sucking dick and whether i would die or not

and colleague just

twink on his knees and colleague who's never considered himself much of a stud and sometimes has a hard time getting off absolutely losing his mind

because the twink is doing things with his mouth and tongue and HANDS he's never imagined

and he's tugging at his balls and twisting his grip a bit on the base of his cock and dragging his tongue against this one really sensitive spot on the side of his cock head and just

liquefying his brains

esp if they finish and the twink is like that was great

and goes home

and colleague is just like. that was mind blowing but am i a bad person if I'm not gay but I want to do that again? shouldn't i blow him back? to be polite???

and being so nervous and shy about wanting to invite the twink for more casual sex, but every time the twink suggests it he's like YES YES ABSOLUTELY and then is anxious he's too eager and that it's disrespectful or unkind

MEANWHILE the twink keeps saying he's such a daddy and that he's cute and hot and handsome and that's amazing but also the sex is so… affirming and NICE

the first time sex hasn't been stressful for felt like a chore

and the twink won't let him suck him off bc he's like. no babe I know you want to reciprocate but this is an acquired taste and in my expert opinion it's not for you

so he tries to fuck the twink as vigorously as possible when they try anal

and the. the benefit of his ED is that his stamina means fucking harder for. longer

than the twink expected

and the twink just fucking dizzy and mindless with cock after like oh my god????? you ruined me? do it agajn!?

I'm just obsessed with the dynamic of the twink who's. a lot more confident and experienced, but also very much at home with casual sex between friends

whereas the colleague is having a moderate identity crisis

because he's still not gay! he's pretty sure he's not attracted to men, including this one! but the sex is really good? does that make him a bad person, shouldn't he let the twink KNOW?

and he does and the twink is like… yeah? duh? would you like to try prostate stimulation

you don't have to but i think you'd like it

and colleague is all like, you… fuck me?

and the twink falling over laughing like, ME? top? top YOU? oh no we're great friends but I'm too lazy. no i meant I'd finger you while sucking you off

and the colleague just lying there after, dazed and starry-eyed, like. maybe we should get married

and the twink just like. Alan how has your ex wife not taught you to be more discerning about proposals? also i am NOT the marrying kind

anyway i think it would be good if the twink started introducing him to hot chicks he knows, that will top as well as bottom and that also just? Will make a man feel good?

esp if Alan is just embarrassingly smitten and goes OTT on flowers and gifts and she's like 😳

and i think the ideal for this is the colleague kind of clearing his throat at his wedding like. uh. i invited. i invited a guy. for you. he's just come out and he's like 45 and he's--

the twink is like, alan, please, say no more. point him and the coat closet out in that order

the twink, drunk, after, sitting in the lap of his new conquest: this is dave he's the sacrifice Alan made at the altar of my bussy in exchange for my services

Alan: this is a very unorthodox wedding toast

twink: HAPPINESS TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM

#long post

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kivaember · 5 months

Text

ac6 drabbles: DILF

okay didn't write anything yesterday because i had a banging headache and felt pretty bad, but today i feel more refreshed! since i have a large pile of prompts, let's see...

okay gonna do "Also 621 calling Walter "daddy" because I'm a degen" from @arcticarthropod since i am also a degen.

If you wanna know how Walter's design is for my drabbles/stories, this is his design done by my good friend mango!

DILF

'Handler,' came the flat, dispassionate voice of a text-to-speech programme, 'I have a question.'

Walter looked up from his terminal, the screen which was a mess of various sensor readings, data compilations and geographical comparisons, to see C4-621 standing in the doorway of his office.

Wasn't a very impressive office - more like a shoebox with an uneven desk crammed in, the surface which supported an ancient terminal, a far more modern laptop, and various datapads that he had collected over the decades. Most of the floorspace in this repurposed building was set aside as the garage, tending to the far more important asset of their AC and its various support auxiliaries. There was also an administration area for the technicans to sleep in, and C4-621 had his own space to decompress in, but usually Walter was left alone in this little, out of the way shoebox of an office, and it was how he liked it.

Still, he encouraged C4-621 to approach him if he needed something, if only because his hound would literally just stand in a corner staring vacantly at the wall if left to his own devices for too long. Walter had long grown used to his hound approaching him at random hours requesting 'enrichment' or 'tasking', and as a result his drawer was full of miscellenous things that he'd hand over.

Last time he'd given him a ball of yarn Carla had, for unknown reasons, bundled in with their regular supply drop. Walter had handed the yarn over and told C4-621 to practice cat's cradle (after showing him what that was exactly) and hadn't seen him for an entire day. He'd actually ended up going to hunt for him, and found C4-621 sadly entangled in the yarn, giving him a woebegotten look at his 'failure' to 'achieve his assigned objective'.

"What is it, 621?" he asked, half-expecting it to be something either totally mundane or off-the-wall insane. There was no inbetween with C4-621.

'I was observing the technicians earlier,' C4-621 inputted into his communication device. 'They mentioned a term I didn't know, but when I asked them to clarify, they said to ask you.'

Off-the-wall insane, then. Those technicains were RaD men Carla had sent over on loan. No doubt they were sniggering away in the garage, slapping each other on the back, thinking of innocently oblivious C4-621 asking Walter something potentially obscene.

So, Walter drew in a deep breath and braced himself, asking tiredly: "What's the term?"

"D-I-L-F."

Walter briefly raised his gaze to the ceiling in exasperation.

"...it's not relevant for you to know, 621," he finally said. "Ignore it."

C4-621 didn't immediately respond. He didn't type anything, but neither did he move. Instead, he shuffled his weight slightly, turning his communication device over and over in his hands. Walter recognised the behaviour: C4-621 wanted to press the question, but his instilled obedience to a higher authority strangled his nerve. The fact he was so openly dithering, though, meant he was getting a little bolder. Before, when they first arrived on Rubicon, he would've simply nodded and dropped the whole thing immediately.

Walter stoically waited him out. He returned to his terminal and continued to work, and after ten minutes of C4-621 awkwardly hovering in the doorway, his hound spoke again: 'They asked if I thought you were a DILF.'

Of course they did.

'I said I wasn't sure of what that term was, and they said to ask you, but that it is normally considered a compliment. So I said, yes, I viewed you as a DILF.'

Of course he did.

"621," Walter said, almost helplessly. He looked at him, unable to get a read on C4-621's impregnable expression. "You shouldn't blindly agree to things, especially where Carla's men are concerned. I've told you this."

'Sorry,' C4-621 said. 'Did they trick me again?'

Well. Walter was sort of stuck here. He didn't want to explain what DILF was, because Walter had waded once into the topic of sex with C4-621 and it had been the most surreal conversation he had ever had (and increasingly drove his suspicions that C4-621 was either raised in an attic as a child or by alien wolves), but on the other, Walter just knew that C4-621 would immediately go back to those technicians and say "Handler wouldn't tell me :c" and who knew what nonsense they'd fill C4-621's head with.

He sighed, defeated.

"DILF means... 'daddy I'd like to fuck'," Walter said stonily. "They were asking if you thought I was sexually attractive, 621."

C4-621 did not look flustered or embarrassed or otherwise startled at this information. He absorbed it, applying its definition to memory, and stared intently at Walter in an evaluating manner.

Finally, he nodded.

'Then my opinion remains unchanged,' he said, and promptly left before Walter could even react to that.

A reaction that was just a blink and a blank stare at the now empty doorway. After a moment of dumb staring, however, Walter just shook his head and decided to chalk it up to C4-621 being... C4-621.

Who knew what went through the head of that hound of his...

#armored core 6 #armored core #c4 621 #handler walter #fanfic #drabbles

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babiebom · 4 months

Text

Would I give them Head (Apex edition)

A/N: I never write for apex, and I might never write for it again but since I have been playing everyday now I have some thoughts and decided that this could be the way I get them out <3 ALSO before anyone says anything their sexuality doesn’t matter this is literally if I would give them head or not and that’s it it’s purely from my pov.

Tw: gone SEXUAL(obviously), cursing, even though these people are male I included Bloodhound even though they are they/them because I am attracted to them.

Wc: at least 3 points for each

Apex Masterlist

Fuse

Yes

He’s a dilf

Seems like he’d call me a good girl while I suck him off :)

Also his accent is great!!

I’m not super attracted to him but am enough to indulge him once.

Ballistic

Hmmmm

On one hand I want to strangle him

And on the other I find his cockiness attractive because of reasons I think I have already discussed on my blog

So it would have to be a really good day for me to be like y’know what? Sure!! Pull out your cock old man!!

Pathfinder

Does he have a pp?

Or genitals at all?

I’m gonna just pretend that he does

And yes

He’s a very good boy and I would give him head in a very friendly way

He deserves it <3

Octane

Yes

Literally I am so attracted to him for absolutely no reason

Like I genuinely have no idea but I would give him the best head of his life

I am so in love with him that his kill quips don’t even make me upset.

Revenant

His kill quips full me with rage

But the answer is yes because he’s kinda sexy

In a “I wish I could bash his head in” kinda way :)

Would do it just to ruin every future day of his.

Bloodhound

Yes!!

Idk what kind of genitalia they have but yes!!

I love them with my whole heart they seem so sweet.

They deserve good head and a relaxing day!!

Crypto

Yes

His accent is cute

But also it wouldn’t be a reoccurring thing simply because wi find him slightly annoying

It’s mostly how people play as him but like

He makes me upset

So I’d give him good head then head out for some milk.

Seer

Hmmmmmm

Maybe?

He’s attractive but I’m not attracted to him

So maybe a friendly handjob!!

Just to be nice

Gibraltar

I have no idea if I spelled this right autocorrect did something before I could check so oh well

But also no

He reminds me of stinky Bo binky and I hate it

No head for stinky men

Now he might not be as stinky

So I might give him a handjob because I feel bad that he is only a no because of stupid stinky.

Mirage

Sexiest man alive I swear

Even though his stupid clones trick me every single time

I do find him insanely attractive

Also because all of his lines are slightly awkward I’m like yes this man is perfect thank you

The answer is yea if you couldn’t tell.

Newcastle

Sure?

I mean idk much about this guy because no one ever plays as him

And I haven’t read anyone’s lore for real so idk their personalities outside of quips and how people play them

But he looks cool and i think his voice is cool so sure

Caustic

I hate the fact that he’s stinky

Stinky men get no love from me

His “breathe it in” like makes me irrationally angry

STOP PUTTING THE STINKY EVERYWHERE J HAVE ASTHMA

NO HEAD FOR YOU

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thegreatcrowdragon · 25 days

Text

Hey I noticed something and wanted to talk about it but has anyone noticed how the crk fandom tends to treat male characters?

Long post. I’m just beefing with crk twt again. But I’ve seen some of this here too.

They’ll either be woobified to an insane degree and have their personality stripped, or made out to be the spawn of satan. Lord Oyster is a major example. I’ve seen people saying he deserves to die for what he did. And while I can admit, the guy did fuck up in giving up the pearl, some of you tend to forget he did that to save his family. And I have no doubt he probably felt majorly guilty for the rest of his life about that.

Let’s have another example, a non-npc this time. Royal Margarine. People hate him for what, the fact he doesn’t look like a twink/dilf? The fact he… Hit on Hollyberry? First off, that’s stupid. Secondly, the guy was drunk, and I mean smashed. He didn’t even use her real name. And I might be forgetting, but didn’t he start crying about how much of a coward he was immediately after? You also have to remember the guy flirts with anyone he meets (yes I count the Wildberry dialogue as flirting shut up).

Anyway I’m tired and also the #1 loyster defender don’t try me

#cookie run kingdom #cookie run #ten dollars people hate loyster because he got in the way of their precious yuri #like I’m sorry. jellypearl will never be canon. especially since they compared loyster x white pearl to fucking SEAMOON.#you’re just gonna have to deal with it. god knows I do *cries in pureshadow*#I’m ANGRY and I’m TIRED do not try to fuck with me on this topic #oh I forgot their tags lol #lord oyster cookie #royal margarine cookie #<- my sillies who fuck up a lot #the mad callings of a crow

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oneforthemunny · 11 months

Note

Hi evie, i hope you feel better!

What are eddie's guilty pleasure shows? I'd imagine modern!eddie unironically loving Euphoria bc Maddie reminds him of mean girl

older!dilf!eddie will ask 1000 questions about the reality show she's watching but refuses to sit down and actual watch it

mafia!eddie loves that new lotr show but wont admit it to anyone (i feel like he'd also old westerns and kitten makes fun of him for liking something so old timey)

cowboy!eddie loves police procedures, all the NCIS spinoffs

cop!eddie loves breaking bad and ozark

rockstar!eddie loves my little pony bc of the girls but hate the fandom lol

janitor!eddie lowkey gives big bob belcher energy so he'd love bob's burgers

omg this is so fun.

ok yes to modern!eddie loving euphoria. mean girl reminds him of maddy and she teases him for being fezco. “max is literally ash come on!”

older!dilf!eddie SWEARS he’s not watching the reality show. “they just scream at each other!” but he’s doing the posted up dad pose. arms crossed, legs out in a stance in front of the tv. will turn to ask “who’s this guy again” “what happened in vail?” and brielle gets so infuriated lol. also very niche but older!eddie?? the BIGGEST tom sandoval hater in the world. had kept up with every bit of it.

mafia!eddie I feel like he would want comforting shows more so than romantic. his job is so insanely gruesome and scary and demanding, he wants something easy. brainless and comforting, where nothing bad happens. so I think he’d like full house a lot. it’s just easy to watch and relax to. not too heavy or brutal or even dramatic.

cowboy!eddie yes, but also like those series they make about true crime cases?? like the act or candy or the dahmer one that just came out. he is a true crime junkie and eats them up.

cop!eddie is so fucking real for that. he loves shows about criminals lol. and reno 911 because that’s how he feels it is at work lol.

rockstar!eddie I’m gonna disagree. he hates kids shows especially like my little pony and straw berry shortcake and “those goddamed barbie movies” which is eddie for fairytopia (that zarah loved). but he does love pirates of the carribean. he was with vega a lot since the other girls were older and he’s like retired, so they chilled (as chill as vega and eddie can be) a lot and he tried to watch the max and ruby and dora but he couldn’t do it, so he was like hmm what’s a disney movie? pirates of the caribbean. most children would have been terrified… not vega. it was loud and exciting and they fought in it, and she fucking ate it up. now eddie watches them all, religiously. at every movie.

janitor!eddie being bobs burgers makes me wanna sob bc that is my favorite show on the entire planet. literally my all time favorite show, my comfort show, everything. I think he’d like adult cartoons like that, and also freaks and geeks. it only had one season but he loves it. he thinks it’s so real lol.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #cowboy!eddie munson #mafia!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #janitor!eddie munson

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saeyoungchoismaid · 1 year

Text

Kent the Hottie

I LOVE THIS BAHAHAHAHAHA. I also like dilfs so-

"You're doing it again."

"Hm?" you absently hum, your eyes still trained on a certain man.

"You're staring at my dad," Sam replies, staring at the side of your head since you're still not looking at him. Finally, you do turn to look at him, blinking a few times.

"I'm not staring at him," you lie, scoffing as you look back down to your book.

"Ha! Yeah right. And slimes can fly," he responds sarcastically, rolling his eyes before looking back down at his guitar that he was tuning.

"Um, excuse you. I simply glanced over at him when you looked over at me," you defend.

"Yeah, and every time after that when I looked at you, your eyes were glued onto him, dude," he snorts, glancing at you. You huff and roll your eyes before focusing on your book again.

"Whatever you say, champ." He snorts again at the nickname. You two return to silence other than the occasional strum of his guitar.

After five minutes or so, you break the silence again. "He was in the war, right?"

Sam sighs and tips his head back a bit, giving you a bored look. "Yes," he answers simply.

You bite your lip. "He likes hazelnuts, right?" you ask next. Sam raises his brow. How did you know that?

"Yeah, roasted ones..."

"Does he-"

"For the love of everything holy, (Y/n)!" he shouts, starting to let out a crazed laugh while shaking his head. "You're going to make me go insane. If you're so curious about him, why don't you just go talk to him?"

Your face floods with a blush as you rapidly shake your head. "Nah, no, uh, I'm good. I need to, um, finish this chapter," you mumble before bringing the book up and pretending to read it.

He snorts and looks back down at the guitar in his hands. He's sure you'll ask him another question in a few minu-

"Why doesn't he like cotton candy?"

Sigh.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

MASTERLISTS

Join my discord server (I also have an 18+ one that is personal invite only. If you want access to that DM me!): https://discord.gg/qnDxJ6rr67

Tag List: @katelynwithpaint, @babykirbysstuff ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

#sdv x reader #sdv kent #kent x reader #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley kent #stardew valley kent x reader #sdv #kent #anon asks #asks #sdv asks #sdv requests #requests #stardew valley

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528-hotline · 6 months

Note

hear me out...................i've had this matthew dad bod agenda lately.......they dress him so dilfy sometimes and like it drives me insane that he's like built husky and stocky i can't explain why i find it so hot but i DO

like i'm shorter and smaller than him (significantly........like over half a foot shorter 😵‍💫) and the idea of getting pinned down by him? putting his full body weight on me to prevent me from escaping from underneath him? just the THOUGHT could make me squirt dear lord

YEAH RIGHT i agree i like men who are like… a bit beefy 🫶🏼 and yes i swear that man has dilf tendencies

it drives me insane how they style him to like emphasize his husky image on-stage,, but hear me out…. when its like just casual (yk like the way he dresses up lives and his like pictures on bbl) GIRL… when he’s wearing tank tops, tight shirts or blazers with like zippers or buttons… probably he’s just the one who’s styling that, right? ik that he knows what he’s doing. he knows to himself that he loves to tease us like i can’t w him actually… i always lose my composure every. single. fucking. time. 😵‍💫😵‍💫

i may not be as short as you (i am also shorter than matthew, like around 5cm shorter i think??? well what matters is i’m shorter than him >:)) but yes he would like to pin someone over to show off how strong he could be, would def manhandle you yes!!!

he would probably pin your arms up on the wall and put his weight on top of you, grinding at your ass or pussy 😵‍💫😵‍💫 “feels good, hm? you still want to escape?” then proceeds on railing the shit out of you until you squirt :3

#🐩: kei ♡ lovies #me not okay…. matthew’s driving me insane daily 😁#zb1 hard hours #kei’s feral thoughts >⸝⸝<

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mostlikelytofangirl · 6 months

Note

Hey hey hey do you have any thoughts on WRH and ruoyao that you'd care to share

Asdfghjkdfgh w-why yes, I may have one or ten thoughts about them, hi!! Thank you for unleashing my unhingedness :'D

Btw I'm gonna be using mostly the novel for reference here.

So, WRH. First of all, I'd have liked canon info of him, and I know he's just there to fulfil the role of the evil villain during the first part of the story, but I have honestly come to enjoy his character and how ridiculously OP and unapologetic he is. Just a good old classic bad guy that thrives being one.

That being said, I do like that the few info we have also shows that he can care about others. It's very rare and god knows what even are his standards or requirements for that, but something I have discussed with others before is how little he seemed to care about social conventions of his time, like the fact that both MY and WQ were high ranking members of the sect because of their talent and capabilities, and despite being a son of a prostitute and a woman, respectively.

In this vein, i think CQL did him a great diservice putting her and WN in pretty much a hostage situation. That's not to say that he would have take kindly to that branch of the family going against him, but there's a difference between betrayal and actively harming valuable elements for no reason.

(Also the fact that donghua made him a DILF lol)

NOW, going back to the matter of MY, it is very much stated in the book itself that when every other servant had to fall to their knees in WRH's presence, MY was allowed to remain standing and look him in the eye. I know this was just to show how good a job he did earning WRH's trust but asdfghjsdfghj it still does things to my brain!!!

Just how impressed and pleased was WRH with MY to allow him to be so close and take so many liberties??? Also when NMJ was captured and MY was taunting him, WRH intervened when it seemed like NMJ could harm MY. LIKE. I think we can all agree that WRH would be very capable of just letting a random drone be killed for his entertainment, but ACTUALLY and ACTIVELY getting MY out of harm's way??? And they even joked about that together afterwards AAAAHHHH!!!

LISTEN

I don't think it's a stretch to assume that WRH could have seriously considered MY as his new heir since his sons were dead. I mean, the guy probably thought that he would live forever but STILL. And in any case... MY could have been Wen furen.

Like. C'mon!! MY is the poster child of daddy issues (alongside JC), you telling me that he wouldn't have thrived with an older man that recognized his talent and encouraged his natural drive and ambition instead of looking down on him for not staying as the bottom feeder he was "born" to be??? If MY would have changed sides, they would have conquered the world!! And THAT'S what I love so much about this ship!!

Ok, I'm a crazy allyao multishipper, but I have a HUGE soft spot for the ship that would have given MY everything he wanted: safety, power, recognition and care without him having to either give up his ambitions or turn the other cheek and be diplomatic bc society was never going to see him as a worthy person. But as the partner of WRH??? No one would ever be so stupid as to look at him weird ever again!! That's something no other ship can do for him: give him the head of anyone who disrespects him or his mom!!

Also there's this post iirc about how the good guy love interest would always choose what's right over you, but a bad guy love interest would set the world on fire for you and honestly? My poor little meow meow deserves that level of insane devotion after everything he had to go through and how devoted he can be in turn ;u;

#replies #mdzs #wen ruohan #meng yao #jin guangyao #ruoyao #whoo this was long #well if you know me you should have seen it coming lol #thanks for giving me a reason to rant to my heart's content #I have so many emotions about them and the ship is so small but there's so much there!#I'd love to know your thoughts too if you have opinions about them #and others' as well!!#(pls let me know if I'm not the only one insane about them :'))))

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