should i just. study theater- film- und medienwissenschaft

// Call Me GRAY  |  SOLO

the underground scene was a whole new world to him, the boy who just happened to like music. he was interested in all kinds of music, had always admired those who would be able to create pieces of passion from nothingness. for a long time now, he had been writing down his thoughts to handle the pressures of daily life, and it had turned into a habit. banning the pain of adolescence onto paper, seonghwa never stopped writing, slowly turned his thoughts into more meaningful lines, learning to put them together to lyrics by listening closely to those he admired for the longest time.

Be confident What on earth is your dream? It's you-you that are in control of your own life Live the life you desire; don't crouch Why should money be the standard of success for everyone? Why? I want to ask you "Are you happy?" Yeah, actually, life is kind of unfair Everyone has a different starting line We learned and know that life is running a marathon

tiger jk was the man that kept him going, kept inspiring him, kept the fire within him alive. he was the reason to drive his trapped feelings out, gave him a base to deal with what he was fighting with. just because of him seonghwa had started learn rapping, had failed and raised himself again over and over again. there was a fascination for tiger jk's skill and style, for the stories he would tell through his songs and the life that seemed far away from worldly problems, that made him into seonghwa's role model. he was still years, maybe life times away to come close to the man he admired the most, so it came as a surprise when a friend stole a look at his scribblings and became interested in the roughness and simplicity in his writing.

"Crisis"[위기] is a compound word of risk[위험] and chance[기회] If you want to take a crisis as a chance, hit it right now Straighten up your slouched shoulders Born as a human being, try leaving your name [in history] Yeah, grease it The dream that was rusty; I hope you hold it now Life is long; it's too early to give up after some falls Where's the dream you've got?

for some time seonghwa had wondered about the future that was awaiting for him. he wasn't coming from a wealthy family, in fact they had their fair share of miserabilities throughout their lives, and he couldn't see where his path would lead him to. wanting to support his family, wishing to be able to be provide for them in case of need, was urging him to stay levelheaded and realistic. so why was his friend's little praise, the small words about liking his writing enough to pull him in and tempt him to try his luck? at the same time he was introduced to the underground scene and slowly started to opening up to those sincere and honest people that would be smiled at by the society for not fitting in the general frame. they were good people, taught him a lot of things he would have never learned without their help. he was just some ordinary guy, a story teller with an inconventional way of expressing the rawness of everyday life. he fit right into the rows of good people and soon they became a family that would catch him whenever he failed another audition or another casting. soon the number of attempts to send in his songs, to get into a company was lost in track and he was thrown off, starting to pursue a more realistic path of career instead.

Why do you worry much? There are a lot of more interesting things than what you see Life's so good Why do you worry much? There are a lot of more interesting things than what you see Life's so good

without his friends from the underground scene seonghwa would have buried his dream along the way, but instead they riled him up, urged him to never give up on his dreams. they were part of his identity, part of his pride and part of his development. he pursued his dream of becoming an artist just like his role model, dreamt of becoming the underdog to stand side by side with the tiger some day. but things weren't meant to be, and the graduated body- and security guard faced failure and rejection more often than being blessed with success and acceptance. he lost himself in alcohol and lonely nights, fell into a hole of despair. how many times had he run into dead ends, about to call it quits and leave it be? but still turned back around to find a way back into the light?

A well-off family only can make you well-off? Don't blame your parents; it's because of your [in]capability Develop the habit of doing on your own whatever you do Either it goes right or not, it's because of yourself Basically, nothing is easy Bet your all, try all in [as in gambling games], all Give a dare; what makes you so scared again? With only bluffing, you can't see ahead of yourself Many people walk following other people instead of walking on their own way Expecting too much at their first attempt, they persist and insist Their heart can't have a chance to be touched or beat fast You're a component of a system It's still not late, so further your dream And the world will know what you've been dreaming

there was still so much more he wanted to show the world, so much more he wanted to leave behind, when he wasn't anymore one day. he wasn't only the nice guy from next door, wasn't just a short guy who knew how to kick and how to box, wasn't just someone who just existed for the purpose to be. he was so much more, he was someone to live for the purpose to live his life to the fullest and pursue his dreams.

No need to worry too much Be careful of that mire since the deeper[/more] you go the more complicated life gets There's not any perfection that everyone dreams The answer is near you, so look around Thinking "I'm the only person alone," is a shortcut to loneliness When you open the third eye after just one step backward, you'll easily get to know what you've missed and lost Ask [someone] for help instead of moaning to yourself; ask [how to do] when you're unsure The world is wide; you have plenty of time No such thing as being late; unwrinkle your forehead instead of smoking [담배를 피우다, 미간을 펴다] Regret no more what's past Shout for new days to come, wattup Wassup, young world, what it do Never give up As long as we breathe, we're special You've come this far, so go further Just follow your mind[/heart] not your head

his friend turns around in the his friend turns in the chair and looks at him in awe. he seemed to like the song. "i really like it, seonghwa-ah." he shakes his head and confuses his friend with that kind of answer. a grin forms on his lips. "call me gray, hyung. from now on i'll show every shade of me."

My head that's used to get caught up and memories of it I believe it's all my fault The evil in my mind fetters So it depends on the mind I've said it before From the bottom to the top now I'm all ready for one more dash[/ running quickly] Yeah, I'll be the one