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#yeah I've noticed a lot of these types of double standards
punkscowardschampions Β· 5 years
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: How's it going, mate? Jimmy: Lost the will yet or nah Janis: Honestly Janis: Ain't even got that much shit but everyone's being dead dramatic about it Janis: Obviously I don't want my finger paintings, Ma, fucking hell Janis: how 'bout you? Jimmy: Cute πŸ’• Jimmy: Reckon I've got less but spending half my time separating my shit from Cass and Bob's Jimmy: How the fuck have they taken over my room? Jimmy: Theirs are bigger like Janis: Such a soft touch, lad Janis: Lucky we're sharing or best believe I'd be bagsying the shit out of the bigger room too πŸ˜‰ Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: You can lay claim to all the drawers, mate Jimmy: Leave me somewhere to hang my hat though Janis: You forgotten which twin you moving in with? Janis: I'll tell Grace to grab her coat, like Janis: Get in, babe Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: I've seen how many pairs of kicks you have, I've made that mental note Jimmy: I've got nowt that needs to be worried about, proper floordrobe in my box room Janis: Awwh, when bae notices things Janis: such a #keeper Janis: Better be sorting that, I'll ask for hangers for a housewarming gift...now that's peak #adulting Jimmy: #goals every day of my life πŸ’• Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Can't we ask for another dog, that'd be peak adulting for you Jimmy: Uping your training game Janis: Trying to break Twix's poor little doggy heart πŸ’” Janis: You monster, you Jimmy: She's capable of breaking her own Jimmy: Either pining for us or Cass wherever she decides she's gonna sleep Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Drama πŸ‘‘ Janis: Takes after you, I reckon Jimmy: I blame her training. Or should I say lack of Janis: 😨 Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: and you want a puppy? When we've already fucked up our first child? Janis: shocking Jimmy: Only thinking of you, needing that 2nd chance Jimmy: Prove you've still got it, training wise Janis: If I can get you to do your own laundry, we'll call it a victory for me, yeah? 😜 Jimmy: That victory's already mine, proper domesticated me Jimmy: There's something to be said for raising yourself Janis: You'll have to teach me then Janis: Spoilt brat, like Jimmy: Alright πŸ‘‘ Jimmy: See where Twix gets it from now Janis: Soz we know our worth, babe πŸ’… Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: Not looking to be the dickhead that chains you to the sink or owt Janis: Kinky Janis: and good luck, Twix ain't got the dexterity, broken plates all over the shop Janis: and I'd be aiming for your head, like πŸ† Jimmy: Tell it to Mr Lucas before he loses interest now you're πŸ‘΅ Jimmy: πŸ’ͺ Bring it on Janis: Being dying to chain me up since day 1 Janis: what do you think the detentions were all about, pervert Jimmy: I wasn't reckoning on him trying to get to me via you for the perfect latte recipe Jimmy: But who can say Jimmy: Got the breath of a bean addict like Janis: πŸ˜‚ not your usual stalker but think about it Janis: pretty good candidate for the flat whites Jimmy: They do need to make up numbers Jimmy: And he don't seem like a trifler with the application Jimmy: Very committed to hanging around young girls Janis: Yeah, you're devvo your fanbase is dwindling Janis: Certainly one way to get back on everyone's minds and lips, babe Jimmy: Having a cry wank while I pack up me socks Jimmy: Rumbled me Janis: Nasty Janis: leave that one behind, like Janis: nice reminder of you for your Da Jimmy: If you find an odd it isn't your crap laundry skills, mate Janis: Good to know Janis: Can't knock out another one before you go? Janis: Lightweight Jimmy: For you I will Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: 😍 Janis: The romance Jimmy: #goals is my thing so Jimmy: πŸ’ Janis: Be putting that on the 'gram later then Janis: green with envy or 🀒 Jimmy: Everyone knows your snap is where the good shit goes 😏 Jimmy: Get a story going in every room once we're in, naturally Janis: Shut up 😳 Janis: s'one way to christen it, like Janis: the fans will approve Jimmy: I wouldn't disapprove meself Jimmy: But I'll be #buzzing not to trip over your brother constantly to be honest Jimmy: And not to have Bobby in and out of my bed Jimmy: Privacy like, how and what even is that? πŸ˜‚ Janis: You clearly loved it Janis: Or he did Janis: either way, get a room πŸ˜‰ Janis: Its gonna be pure luxury Jimmy: I see you, trying to dump me so you don't have to share the bed Jimmy: Gonna have to get more creative than fobbing me off on your brother, sorry Janis: Nah, you're a pretty good bed mate, to be fair Janis: Snuggly 😘 Jimmy: Only pretty good? Jimmy: Challenge accepted there then Janis: I mean, not saying I've had better Janis: but my last mans was a real 🐻 you know? Jimmy: No need to spur me on to πŸ†mate Jimmy: Not with my winning streak Jimmy: 😎πŸ’ͺ Janis: 😏 We'll see Janis: Not leaving your competition at home, Gracie's heart would break, like Jimmy: Thought she'd be used to what a heartbreaker I am by now Janis: Who but me could ever keep up with your games, yeah? 🀷 Jimmy: Running rings round me, you Janis: Huh, a compliment? Janis: Not going to help you with your heavy shit up the stairs like just 'cos you're a 🍭talker Jimmy: I'm not asking. Got your nan coming round in a bit like 😏 Janis: πŸ˜‚ feeling better with her on side now? Janis: brave, like, having her as your landlady Jimmy: I got no pianos or anvils I'm packing Jimmy: Should be alright Janis: just the 🎻right? Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Can't go far without that Janis: Not gotta sing for your supper, like Janis: not promising better than the chipper though Jimmy: Mate in this house that's fancy shit Jimmy: Can take me outta here but Janis: are Cass and Bob gonna come help? Janis: use the term loosely for Bobs but I'm sure I can convince my Da that Cass needs sustenance for all her πŸ’ͺ Jimmy: They wanna Jimmy: I said they'd be more of a hindrance, especially if they drag Twix along but what can I say, most poorly trained of the lot, they are Janis: I'll whip 'em into shape Janis: Managed you, like Janis: If they got bored they can always go down and play pool and get crisps Jimmy: I give Cass half an hour before she's taking you up on that Jimmy: Over everything she is Jimmy: Fuck knows where she gets that from πŸ˜‚ Janis: 😏 Right mystery that Janis: Ah to be 15 and have it all figured out, like Jimmy: I don't reckon she does, lad I see her hanging about with Jimmy: Right dickhead he looks Jimmy: Just mates, been there, said that, kid Janis: πŸ‘΄ Janis: Maybe she's avoided your flair for the dramatic Janis: We can only hope or you're gonna have to be all up on her feed πŸ‘€ Jimmy: πŸ–• Jimmy: Have a word, will ya Jimmy: Might go in more than one ear you saying it Janis: This what we become already? Janis: Not even in the front door like Janis: Don't let on, the field day the fans would have Jimmy: Dream team, we are Jimmy: On me own I'm just that dickhead Jimmy: Not news to Cass or the fans Janis: You're my dickhead πŸ’ž Jimmy: You're cute πŸ’• Janis: What can I say? Janis: Prospect of finally getting outta this place and having our own space got me feeling a type of way Jimmy: Cheers to that 🍻 Jimmy: The barn and my car both have their own charms like but Janis: Good times Jimmy: You might be needing them back desperate when it hits what living with me is gonna be like Jimmy: Sure you got me that well trained? Janis: Definitely don't get rid, like Janis: Never know when you'll need to drive off dramatically into the night Jimmy: Or sleep in the backseat when you get mardy enough to kick me out Janis: You know Janis: Living above a pub, may as well act like we're in Eastenders Jimmy: Plot twist, it was Twix framing me all along Jimmy: That bitch Janis: Duff duff duff duff duff Janis: What a cliffhanger Jimmy: Predictable, but we know she is Janis: 😎 Shade Janis: Can't help how irresistible I am Janis: slept with half the square by the end of the month Jimmy: Who am I squaring up to this week πŸ₯Š tune in to find out, lads Janis: Poor babe Janis: When you find out you shoulda been with lovely Lil Mo all along Jimmy: πŸ˜‚ Jimmy: You come home and I've moved Tam in Jimmy: Thank god for them high ceilings Jimmy: Love story years in the making Janis: 😣 and I'm still gonna hit it 'cos double standards and nah, bitch Janis: take my man, not my flat, how dare you Jimmy: And your 🐢 too Jimmy: Out of order Janis: She's gonna turn up squashed in a car compactor next ep Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: 4 x 4 and she still struggling for that head room Janis: You know that's your type Janis: Typical sketchy photographer, you Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: Not my fault your sibling rivalry with Gracie included being taller Janis: Likely story Janis: Going some to up your portfolio game tho, lad Jimmy: Go tall or go home Janis: Know I never mastered the artsy fringe but Janis: tah for sticking around still, like Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: When you take charity fake dating too far, ladies and gents Jimmy: Fake yeah, Charity nah, babe Janis: Love you Jimmy: If you don't reckon you're beautiful by now I'm gonna have to take more pictures Jimmy: Good thing we've got a blank canvas for a bit Janis: Always wanted to live in a shrine to myself, obvs Janis: I'll have to amateur hour it so peeps know you live here too, like Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Can you? Got that pro status, mate Janis: πŸ‘Œ I picked up a few tips Janis: you're not totally useless, like Jimmy: Thanks Jimmy: Love you too, like Janis: πŸ’ž Jimmy: Reckon I'm done here Jimmy: Do you want me to come and get you or are we gonna need two trips for the boxes? Janis: Mental you ever unpacked that much tbh Janis: I reckon we can squeeze, no doubt my parents wanna follow like the creepers they are if there's too much anyway Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: and I'm gonna have to go back for Cass and Bob at some point anyway Jimmy: Don't need to be back and forth enough to make my dad think I'll miss the place Janis: Don't reckon even he can pull off that level of purposefully oblivious, like Janis: and don't reckon he wants me to come 'round to say farewell either, not that I EVER set a foot inside, like, nah πŸ˜‰ Jimmy: Good times Janis: Don't be getting emotional on me now Janis: Look how far we made it, like Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: πŸ˜‚ Jimmy: I'll be #buzzing if I make it up the stairs with this shit Jimmy: 🚭 lads, who knew it was so bad for you Janis: the ban and the warning labels just flew right over you, like Janis: know you're not that tall but 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Least your warnings worked 😏 Jimmy: Healthy as a 🐎 now like Jimmy: Never seen a horse do stairs is all Janis: is it them you can take up but they won't come down? Janis: or cows, maybe Janis: look, all I'm saying is, don't invite Mia 'round or we'll never be rid Jimmy: Fucked if I know Jimmy: You're the country girl Jimmy: We only have glue up north Jimmy: And burgers Jimmy: No cows Janis: πŸ™„ Janis: Am not, dickhead Jimmy: Tell it to the veg patch, mate Jimmy: You can move out but there's no leaving all that lot behind Janis: Don't say that Janis: that's the whole fucking point! πŸ˜‚ Jimmy: You collect all the keys they've got and then we won't give any more out Jimmy: Done Janis: 😍 Janis: now you're talking my language Jimmy: Gotta get you back on side before I'm trapped in a car with you Jimmy: Surrounded by heavy objects Janis: Sensible boy Jimmy: Well trained Jimmy: I'm coming over now Jimmy: πŸ’ͺ too if you need a hand Janis: Just the one? Janis: Shame 😈 Jimmy: Now you're talking my language Janis: Quicker we unpack the faster they'll all leave Jimmy: Why do you think I'm not bringing much 😏 Janis: Always thinking, my boy Jimmy: Not just a pretty face Janis: Nah Janis: have missed it tho Janis: and not just 'cos I've been staring at boxes for the past few hours Jimmy: Awh πŸ’• Jimmy: You'll be sick of it soon enough like Janis: Threat or a promise? Jimmy: We'll see Janis: Tease Jimmy: First time you've ever complained though Jimmy: Bit late Janis: Fickle like that Janis: but you knew that too so Jimmy: Nobody can say I didn't know what I was getting into Jimmy: Couldn't even play fake nice, you Janis: You loved it Jimmy: Yep Janis: Thank fuck Janis: Plan B where I had to join the flat whites woulda been rough stuff, like Jimmy: You'd have loved it Janis: Clearly, all I ever want from life is spending more time with my sister Jimmy: πŸ˜‚ Jimmy: Gonna move her in instead of me then? Jimmy: I'll turn this car around Janis: Hell no Janis: not been able to share a room for years Janis: nevermind a bed, as much as the pervs would love that Jimmy: Think of the 'gram Jimmy: Have I taught you nowt Janis: Don't even fucking suggest it Janis: the idea of that makes likes would defs go to her head Jimmy: I'm here now so feel free to shut me up Janis: πŸ’ͺ Janis: Coming
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