i've been ruminating a lot on it because i think i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words but i need y'all to understand that while there are absolutely a lot of Not Good Things about the finals being held in saudi arabia for three years...the way people seem to treat is as morally black and white is shortsighted and unhelpful.

realistically the players traveling there will be protected. it may be uncomfortable, it's certainly not ideal, but they will travel there for a few weeks, play their tennis, then leave. there are a lot of women, a lot of queer people who actually live in saudi arabia who cannot just leave, who are actually subjected to laws and social climates...and to me it just seems very disrespectful to that actual lived experience, for everybody to sort of turn their noses up and get on their high horses. of course, if the players wish to opt out, that is their choice, but that is their choice to make. that's their judgement. not ours.

and then, what about a tournament like miami? florida is literally experiencing one of the worst active regressions that i've seen in the us (granted i'm young). things like critical race theory and lgbtq+ ed are being removed from curriculums, rights for trans youth, trans healthcare, etc. are going backwards. abortion rights? gun violence? and yes i know that the laws and climate in saudi arabia are different gravy, i understand that, but my point is, no one would ever DREAM of arguing against hosting a tournament in miami despite all of these issues. and we can extend this to a lot of other tournaments! i mean, all the outrage about fifa hosting a world cup in qatar, but we don't have any of these sentiments about doha? i've seen other people bring up that the finals were hosted in singapore when gay marriage was still illegal there. we've already talked about italy's fascist prime minister. and i could go on and on and on about the war crimes of countries like the us or the uk - is the us not participating actively in genocide right now? where is the standard? if you argue against hosting the finals in saudi arabia for the reason of human rights, to me it seems you have to uphold that standard for the location you do land on. and i can guarantee, you will not find a single country in the world with clean hands.

i want to be clear i am not arguing that hosting the finals in saudi arabia is a good thing, especially for three years, especially because it's definitely going there because of money, and not for any of the "good" reasons i think some people want us to believe about "improving the region" (which is very weirdly white savior-esque anyway). i don't really have an official "conclusion" to this discussion.

what i am arguing is that i think a lot of the protests against saudi arabiahosting the finals are more an example of implicit anti-arab bias and islamophobia, rather than genuine discussion. key word implicit: i don't think most people are purposefully trying to be anti-arab/islamophobic. or at least, i'd like to believe nobody is. but i also think, particularly in the west, there is already so much of this xenophobic sentiment ingrained. and this is why i think it's really really REALLY important to check ourselves when we talk about it instead of just jumping straight to the human rights conversation without a second thought.

i'll say it plainly: i don't think the finals should be held in saudi arabia. but for me, it has more to do with sportswashing, with the dangers of the way money is thrown around in sports, and because i think it's more evidence that the wta doesn't care about player welfare but rather about making a profit (what else is new). human rights are absolutely a concern of mine, but how is it fair to hold saudi arabia to a standard that we don't seem to care about for literally anybody else?

literally look at the us's ugly ugly history, past and present, and tell me why we deserve to host a tennis tournament.

.

"we need more complex female characters" y'all couldn't even handle leah rilke from the wilds

here for those who asked + the most recent addition to the cast

Hate when the entire fandom misinterprets one of your favorite characters and you literally can't find any fan work where they actually act like their character

Controversial and cringe as it is.

Imma do it.

I'm gonna f/o a disney villain.

But not just any Disney villain.

No imma f/o arguably the darkest,and most greatest Disney villain in the history of Disney villains (again this is entirely based upon preferences and personal opinions. So don't come at me)

Jean-claude frollo.

Yeah you heard me.

This guy

Yup.

Maybe if he got laid,had a wife,he'd stfu and leave my girl esmeralda alone. Maybe he wouldn't be an insufferable prick. Maybe if he got pegged,he'd behave his fuckin self

Oh sorry. I went off. My apologizes.

So yeah i have a Disney villain f/o officially and yeah....so new f/o and self ship to play around with the narrative.

God once again pride month has become "queer infighting month" with this year's special: should we support mainstream companies carrying pride merch- and don't worry, we won't debate this with any good faith or nuance! Shut Up!!!

haha naw I just masturbate furiously to anonymous hate :)

every time I see renju hate my renju apologism intensifies

i do not like tumblr much anymore again :(( anyways important stuff in the tags! but tldr just hmu if you want my discord or twitter, won't be gone from here completely but yeah <3

ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

not me genuinely considering going back to wattpad to publish silence agenda....

btw it's like 1:30 am here but shout out to the commissioners who want to support me, and are extremely patient with me cause of my situation and apparent injury, y'all are MVPs thanks for hanging in there knowing it may be a while

*suddenly stops worrying about everything*

...

what.

*worries about the fact that I'm not worrying about anything*

Y'all...

Now just a moment here, while I'm usually an exceedingly stubborn proponent of looking on the lighter side of things and that with all the bad that seems to exist in the world there's at least a smidgen of things that make it worth saving.

It's a list of which seems to be growing smaller every single day unfortunately.

Once more I'm genuinely beginning to wonder if anything this god forsaken timeline really is worth saving or if y'all are just aching for the absolution of utter destruction.

Is the call of the void so strong that you all are just hellbent on having everything destroyed by some rancid flavour wannabe Villain-of-the Week preaching 'Peace and Order' while holding a cocked-gun right at your head?

(Most of them don't even have a sense of style for frick's sake.)

This shit's beyond parody at this point and it's kind of pissing me off.

And I swear, if another thing happens (and no I am not actively tempting fate here, because I have a more than healthy respect for the cycle of karma and my own place within this already tenuous balance as well as the sword of Damocles hanging over our collective head) I'm gonna yeet Apollo's Dodgeball of Prophecy back at your fucking asses.