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hamliet · 2 years

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Qiang Jin Jiu Retold as Memes: Part II

Part one in case you missed the madness.

Fei Sheng to Huo Lingyun:

Yan Heru:

The Empress Dowager getting angry at anyone who suggests trying to get Hua Xiangyi to help scheme while Hua Xiangyi’s like:

Yan Heru to Shen Zechuan regarding the Venerable Master:

Shen Zechuan’s response:

Fengquan to Ling Ting (also me to Ling Ting):

Ling Ting when they murdering Han Cheng and he insults her:

Hua Xiangyi and Qi Zhuyin when they visit Qudu:

Ji Gang when he walks in on Xiao Chiye leaving Lanzhou’s bedchamber:

Meanwhile Fei Sheng:

Shen Zechuan to Ji Gang:

Shen Zechuan: ... and ... I really want to marry him ...

Hasen rolling up to Duanzhou like:

Shen Zechuan to Hasen:

Yin Chang knowing he’s about to die and determined to go out with style:

Readers to Xiao Chiye about Hasen:

Hasen realizing the wolf is here:

Xiao Chiye to Hasen: “I. Was. Looking. For. You.”

Hasen:

Shen Zechuan watching Xiao Chiye kill Hasen:

Jiran the monk apprentice ready to join Ding Tao and Li Xiong in one brain cell land:

Hua Xiangyi when the Empress Dowager dies:

Duo’Erlan:

Xue Xiuzhou:

Fengquan:

Li Jianting:

Yao Wenyu after Lanzhou wins:

Qiao Tianya to Jiran:

Cezhou in the throne room:

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mxtxfanatic · 1 year

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Alright, another character breakdown! Keep in mind that as long as this list is, this definitely is not all of the major players in the book. Because there are just sooooooo many characters, I’m choosing to highlight the ones I remember and care about the most (SPOILERS AHEAD for character deaths):

Xiao Fangxu: great dad, damn his death hurt me

Xiao Jiming: still cannot believe he guessed his brother had a crush based on his BLINKING PATTERNS LMAOOOOOO

Gu Jin: hope he got that girl he got ratted out about, cause after all this, he deserves the rest

Ding Tao: baby boy 🥺

Chen Yang: glad he got it together and stopped with the petty shit

Tantai Hu: there were a few moments I thought he was gonna fall from grace, but a true testament to the idea that honesty pays

Li Xiong: BABY 🥺🥺🥺

Qi Huilian (Grand Mentor Qi): did not realize how important he would become and when I did, did not realize that he’d be KILLED; honestly, a completely unexpected death for me

Ji Gang: man’s been through so much but STILL is dedicated to fathering all these orphaned sons. Best dad award right here

Fei Sheng: finally got a life and sense of self-worth, but at what cost?

Qiao Tianya: never thought being told you could be a monk could be considered a threat

Yao Wenyu: i hate the emotions he’s made me (and Qiao Tianya) feel, knowing he’s already come to terms with death and ain’t feeling the shit himself

Kong Ling: you worked so hard not to be the personal advisor of a conquerer just to end up the personal advisor of an emperor LOL

Yin Chang: genius af, funny as hell, how you a grown man afraid of baths??? His death hurt

Qi Zhuyin: BIG QUEER ENERGY

Hua Xiangyi (Third Missy/Hua the Third): surprise high femme queen sneak attack!

Lu Guangbai: reminds me of the pets from Homeward Bound, never doubted him for a second

Lei Jingzhe: he really had me there for a second; epic death

Hasen: alright, we get it! The bad guys have families too! They’re also human! Stop beating me with it—! (another painful death even as I knew it was inevitable)

Duo’erlan: ok coming in clutch at the last second to steal a spot as one of the most badass characters! Was praying HARD they didn’t kill her…

Xue Xiuzhuo: good longterm adversary, i wish him a very fuck you, asshole

Fengquan: massive security oversight: man worked under a man who plotted the emperor’s assassination, his “sister” assassinated the succeeding emperor, and y’all bring him back AGAIN to work under the third emperor??? But you’re surprised he’s the hidden assassin????

Ling Ting/Li Jianting: poor girl

Jiran: cute last minute baby addition!

Xiao Chiye: best soldier, best uncle, best brother, best son, best partner, best—

Shen Zechuan: nobody deserves the throne more than him, fucking fight me Xue Xiuzhou

Xiao Chiye x Shen Zechuan: fan-fucking-tastic power couple, round of applause for their resounding success and the fantastic sex!

Overall a great book if you love political intrigue mixed with a little bit of war action. Violence isn’t too gratuitous, and there are trigger warnings for the worst of it. The characters are characters, and there is never a dull moment in this book. I did find it weird, though, that everything was trigger warned for except the two moments of noncon and dubcon between the major couples, but that may have been a translator thing? Either way, I’d watch any drama adaptation of this.

#human reads qiang jin jiu #qiang jin jiu #this is all i can think of at the moment #the list of folks is exhaustive actually

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sanctissimx · 2 years

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The spring air is surprisingly stifling at this time of year, even the light breeze that comes somehow cloying in its relief. Hua Xiangyi’s fan quickens its pace, the flutter of it the only indication of any discomfort upon the painted face that wears the smile of an enlightened one.

The Empress Dowager is less composed in her suffering under the inestimable heat, leaning upon a cushion as her attendants fan her assiduously, wiping away any beads of sweat that mist upon her brow and nose, leaving patches of pinkened skin where the white makeup has lifted.

“I’m sure she’ll be here soon,” Hua Xiangyi assures her aunt, fully aware of how mortifying it must be for her aunt to have to attend someone first after all these years in her seat of power. It’s in that moment that the Heir Apparent arrives, an entire house in attendance of their entrance. Hua Xiangyi rises, commits an artful bow, and smiles up at them with a genuine delight.

Li Jianting is not so adorned as she expects them to be. By all accounts, they are a studious and meritorious student of Xue Xiuzhou’s, but she’d still expected something between that and the upjumped strumpet of a girl her aunt had complained of in the quiet of her chambers.

She’s fair, with a simple beauty, and a remote air that makes her appear delicately thoughtful, if a little wary. Hua Xiangyi decides that she likes the look of her, and waits for the eunuch to motion to the seat of honor.

“It feels like summer,” Hua Xiangyi laughs, after a long awkward pause, wherein her aunt, as the host, ought to have begun the conversation and greet the Heir Apparent first. But she’s used to running interference for her capricious aunt’s moods. “I could have sworn I heard a cicada only a moment ago. It’s too early for them, surely. It’s not the season ...”

It’s a stupid conversation starter. She knows that full well. But small talk is the safest route, knowing the tension that exists between the Heir Apparent and the Empress Dowager both. But there’s one thing Hua Xiangyi prides herself on, and it’s subverting while conforming. So she makes an attempt.

“I hear that gongzhu dianxia is a pupil of Xue Xiuzhou, a most esteemed scholar,” she says brightly, but doing away with that saccharine-sweet, simpering tone that sounds like deceit itself. It’s an effort to be less like a sycophant. More like a person. A person that would trest them like a person. “Are they allowing you any freedoms to attend cases yet? Surely a capable person such as yourself should be utilized in such precarious times.”

@feiyuie — Li Jianting

#feiyuie #HUA XIANGYI.#fuck u im so excited let them bond and idk kiss maybe #HEY SORRY THIS GOT LONG #I GOT FEELINGS #u KNOW

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hamliet · 2 years

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Qiang Jin Jiu: Retold in Memes

Shen Zechuan at the start of the novel:

Xiao Chiye greeting his husband for the first time:

Everyone trying to convince Emperor Xiande to execute Shen Zechuan because obvs this tortured fifteen year old is too dangerous to live:

Xiao Chiye pointed to himself. “Am I not a caged man too?”

Lu Guangbai and Zhao Hui said in unison. “Good for you.”

Shen Zechuan to Xiao Chiye when he is asked to bark like a dog:

Gao Zhongxiong and the other students when Shen Zechuan is released from the temple:

The Night Hunt where Xiao Chiye has everyone disguised as Prince Chu:

Xiao Chiye when he sees Lanzhou’s perfect nape:

Shen Zechuan to Xiao Chiye:

Meng whenever Xiao Chiye and Shen Zechuan bathe together:

The Empress Dowager vs. everyone in the entire royal court:

Shen Zechuan to Ji Lei:

Xiao Chiye to Shen Zechuan:

Shen Zechuan in response:

Gu Jin, Ding Tao, and Chen Yang on Xiao Chiye’s orders:

Shen Zechuan when Xi Hongxuan asks whether he really has something going on with Xiao Chiye:

Xiao Chiye during the plague threatening the doctor to cure Shen Zechuan like:

Meanwhile, Shen Zechuan:

Ji Gang and Zuo Qianqiu when their mentees spar at the awkward dinner:

Shen Zechuan plotting and tricking Xi Hongxuan into thinking he’s in prison:

Li Jianheng:

Cezhou and the Imperial Army leaving Qudu like:

Hai Liangyi during state meetings:

Kong Ling, Zhuo Gui, and Luo Mu, and also all of Zhongbo:

Ding Tao and Li Xiong:

Xiao Chiye finding out his kick set Shen Zechuan’s health back:

Yao Wenyu showing up in Cizhou with his cat to talk to Shen Zechuan like:

Xiao Chiye’s reunion with Daddy be like:

Yao Wenyu sending invitations to all the scholars of the world except Xue Xiuzhou like:

Meng every battle and also as a way of greeting to Xiao Jiming’s poor Yu:

Hua Xiangyi:

Shen Zechuan to Lei Jiangzhe atop the burning tower:

Three seconds later, Shen Zechuan (it’s okay A-Ye is there to catch him):

Hasen:

Xiao Chiye to Hasen over Xiao Fangxu’s head:

Xiao Jiming when Qi Zhuyin and Lu Guangbai ask how Libei got Shen Zechuan to ally with them:

Huo Lingyun killing King Yi and burning all his supporters:

Huo Lingyun when he taunts Xiao Chiye about Xiao Fangxu’s death:

Shen Zechuan to Huo Lingyun and Fei Sheng after putting Huo Lingyun with the Imperial Bodyguards:

Qiao Tianya:

Fei Sheng:

Qi Zhuyin:

#shitposts #qiang jin jiu #qjj #shen zechuan #xiao chiye #this is so stupid why did i do this #cezhou #huo lingyin #fei sheng #qiao tianya #yao wenyu #qi zhuyin #hua xiangyi #li jianheng #xiao jiming

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hamliet · 2 years

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Hi, Hamliet....I don't know if you've been answer this or not but do you have any fictional characters that you hate or dislike but you have to agree that they are really well written...?

Oh sure! Too many to count really. And "like" gets all mixed up with "appreciate" and such too so it's hard to give like, a definitive list. Some basics:

Mori (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Joffrey (ASOIAF)

Warren (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Svidrigailov (Crime and Punishment)

Xue Xiuzhou (QJJ)

Bonhart in The Witcher

#ask hamliet

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hamliet · 2 years

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What's the difference between a villain and an antagonist? Thank you.

It's vague, honestly, but an antagonist is someone who opposes the protagonist and obstructs them from getting what they want. They may or may not be a villain. A villain is like... usually does deeds universally considered bad--at least that's what the connotations imply.

Think how Light Yagami is the villain of Death Note, but also the protagonist; L and Near are his antagonists. I would call the League of Villains in BNHA villains, because they do bad things, but villain doesn't mean no redemption either... but I do think there's normally a moral disparity between villains and protagonists to call them a villain.

Like, Wei Wuxian in MDZS thinks to himself that he and Jin Guangyao are the same; neither of them are villains. They're on a similar moral plane. I would call Jun Wu in TGCF a villain, but that doesn't mean the message of the story is "Xie Lian good Jun Wu bad," instead it's about encouraging the villainous to do better next time. Xue Xiuzhou in Qiang Jin Jiu--he's doing terrible things, but so are the protagonists, and he's also got pretty good goals of ridding the world of its classism and sexism; while Lanzhou is now starting to find his purpose, for a long time it was like... at least XXZ has an idea of what he wants to do. He's still the antagonist, but I don't think I can call him a villain even if a lot of his actions are clearly morally wrong. Same with QJJ's Hasen.

#ask hamliet

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