at night, the people come and go they talk too fast and walk too slow chasing time from hour to hour i pour the drinks and crush the flowers what have i, what have i done to deserve this? what have i, what have i, what have i done to deserve this? what have i, what have i, what have i...

✧ hedwig blackwood moodboard 04/?? ✧ featuring xena george ( @finaldarlings ). ✧ freddie’s twelve days of moodboards 04/12

xena alves ┈ « tag drop. »

⠀⠀⠀ 𝓗e can hear the voices, the displeasure in his head as he looks into the mirror 。He was supposed to be normal for a day, not let the thoughts determine his mood 。Yet, in the corner of his eye two figures emerged 。Michael and his Father 。His body tensed, their smiles curved upright resulting in an uneasy atmosphere in the bathroom 。He couldn’t speak, couldn’t think nor could he run 。He was paralyzed, but he watched the figures move, surround him 。He could feel thick fingers wrap around his wrists on both sides 。He could hear the thunder erupting from outside 。One second and he was back in hell, chained up screaming for his brother while those two figures laughed, called him weak, useless, pathetic and completely worthless 。He should have been better, he could have been better but he was selfish 。Hazel eyes darted themselves around the area, desperate to determine if he was actually here again after years away 。It seemed like he was, tears ran down his visage as they evaporated upon hitting the floor below 。The hellhounds he was so afraid of ringing throughout the area, this was before he conquered it 。Before Xena became his right hand gal 。Yet — he was frozen 。He’d remain frozen as claws dig deep into his flesh, crimson running down his frame 。Over and over he was torn apart , but he didn’t scream 。He couldn’t anymore, his will to fight was slim to none 。Yet he was not in hell — he was in the bathroom, slumped against the tub unconscious 。Xephros couldn’t take control of his body, far to deep in the hallucination to emerge 。Dean and Xephros are temporarily unavailable 。

4 & 5 for the hellenic asks please??💜

💚💚 Have you had a liking in Greek mythology since you were a kid? If so, does it influence your practice?

Absolutely 100% I did and, to an extent, it does. I was an avid fan of the tv shows Hercules and Xena, and so my mental image of Eros’ behaviour and older visage will forever be this cheeky hunky man child

Do you have an altar?

I have ummmm 7 shrines in my house and 1 at work 🫠 No, 8! They populate so easily. My main shrine was recently changed due to the addition of a kitten to my household. Could no longer keep the fake olive plant there 😓

‘Main’ shrine/altar during Theogamia

Work shrine

Hera’s shrine

Aphrodite bath shrine (picture below)

Garden shrine (outdated picture below)

Aphrodite Kepois garden shrine (picture below)

Front entry shrine (no picture)

Zeus shrine (no picture)

Xena Watch is nearly at the end of Season 1

So every now and then they bring on a big chunk of man-meat, either as Xena’s ex, or wanting to talk about one of Xena’s exes, and every time, somehow, it comes across as more queer...

Also, the Cold Open for this latest ep, “Altared States”, starts with a lot of clothes strewn on trees as Xena and her lifetime companion get starkers in a lake and Xena teachers Gabrielle to, er, tickle fish.

*cough*

Cue a fight scene, plus Xena’s head and shoulders as she riiiiiiises out of the water, cut to Random Soldier’s awed, horrified visage...

EDIT:

I asked myself if the young sprat leading the baddies was Young Karl Urban, and it is! it is!!

He’s so young, so spratlike, so pouty, so glowering...

Bless.

EDIT:

Wait. I think the plot of this is a retread of Abraham being ordered to sacrifice his son? Yikes.

I wonder how that’ll go down...

𝓧𝓮𝓷𝓪 𝓢𝓾𝓪𝓻𝓮𝔃

karen fukuhara // xena hanford vemont

tag dump

gabrielle tag drop!

one gifset for each oc: xena donovan

I’m not some QUAINT girl with the face of a d o l l. I’m the heir to the Shadows, the daughter of Ductor Donovan. I am made of magic itself and I can show you just how TERRIFYING I can truly be.

Ficlet: Monster

Hey, @moddieeee, I hope you don’t mind that I used your post as a prompt.

Title: Monster

Fandom: Xena: Warrior Princess

Characters: Gabrielle/Xena

It was one of those times where the crisis was resolved but not over, at least not for Xena and Gabrielle. They had uncovered a plot to sabotage a moonlight wedding between an acolyte of Artemis - so that she might leave her goddess' service in full view of her and with her blessing - and the lordling set to inherit the nearby city. The lordling's friend who was also the acolyte's romantic rival meant to curse the girl to spend the night as some kind of... something that wouldn't be welcome at a wedding. And Gabrielle had stepped in front of the curse. Xena had gotten the cursing artifact away from the girl and put her in the town's jail, but while everyone else was setting up for the wedding, she and Gabrielle now sat in a borrowed hut with a barred door, waiting to see what would befall the bard.

Some helpful bystanders had suggested Xena wait outside the barred door, but as the sunlight waned in the small window, and Gabrielle looked up at her with tremulous green eyes, she internally scoffed anew at the idea. Hands on the younger woman's shoulders, she promised, "Whatever happens, I've got you, Gabrielle. Just one night; we can handle this." "If I hurt you, I'll never forgive myself." "Pff, your greedy old former warlord has plenty practice wrestling with green-eyed monsters." Xena watched the pun wrinkle Gabrielle's nose and make her laugh despite herself. "Besides, we still don't know what'll happen. Maybe you'll turn into a squirrel and run right out that window, or I'll get to cuddle a puppy all night." "If I'm a puppy, you won't tell anyone if I piddle inside, will y-" Gabrielle cut off her question with a grunt, bending over as her muscles seized. Xena squeezed her shoulders tighter. "Gabrielle?" Muscles seized again, then expanded along with Gabrielle's whole body. The ties holding her brief top and skirt made painful-looking depressions in her skin, and Xena bent over her to untie everything as quickly as possible. After furious finger-work and another body expansion, accompanied by a rough howl of pain from the bard, the top fell to the ground, but the arm bands were goners. The bracelets, deformed; the skirt in tatters on the ground. And Gabrielle? Hoarse gasps held a deeper tenor than Xena had ever heard from her partner, and even though she was still bent over, their heads were of a height. Xena blinked, fascinated. Gabrielle's eyes were still squeezed shut, but the rounded contours of her face had expanded and sharpened, giving her angular cheekbones and a wider jaw. She kept her cute nose, though, and out of her brief blond locks now protruded pointed, fuzzy ears like those of a golden-furred dog. Similar fur had sprouted down the back of her neck and along her arms and legs - basically anywhere she usually had thicker body hair, with just a smattering in places like her belly. The transformation added new definition to every muscle and notable extra bulk to her shoulders, arms, and legs. "Gabrielle?" Xena whispered. Gabrielle's eyes finally opened - and were green, exactly like usual. It took some of the unsettling otherness away from her form, even though recognition hadn't yet found her gaze. Those eyes snapped to Xena's after a moment, and Gabrielle stood up to her new, imposing height - a full head and shoulders over Xena's. She cocked her head. "Easy, sweetheart." Xena kept her hands at her sides and her shoulders relaxed, but she held Gabrielle's gaze, reasoning that she didn't seem to take it as a challenge. She wondered if her partner could hear her heart racing, unsure whether there was danger. "It's me. I love you. Are you okay?" With startling quickness, Gabrielle swooped down to look at Xena's face straight-on again, and it it took a lifetime of mastery over her reflexes to keep Xena from reacting in any way. Gabrielle sniffed, then tilted her head again and smoothly brought her face right up to the juncture between Xena's neck and shoulder. She sniffed again, then relaxed her posture a little. Now that she was bent over further than before, Xena could look over her shoulder and see a pale gold tail protruding from her partner's backside, sinuous like a big cat's, and it gave what looked like a happy little twitch. The edge of hysteria started to push against Xena's control. Her partner had turned into an enormous, surely-dangerous beast - with fuzzy ears and a a cute tail, and for some reason, the latter was almost more than she could handle. Right as Xena bit down on her laugh, Gabrielle sniffed and snuffled right into her cleavage, sending a frisson through her whole body and forcing a strangled noise through her composure. But Gabrielle just gave a contented-sounding little growl/hum. Then she moved to nose Xena's other shoulder and trailed around to the back of her neck. "Xena..." she breathed against the back of Xena's ear. "My... mine. My mate?" The undercurrent of a growl couldn't hide Gabrielle's sweet voice, though it did make her speech rumble through Xena's back where they touched. That was... kind of pleasant, actually. "I'm Xena all right. And I'm yours if I'm anyone's." Actually sounding amused, Gabrielle posited, "You're mine," and playfully bit Xena's shoulder. Just a light nip, but sharper than it would normally have been, and then she let go with her mouth only to wrap her long arms around Xena's middle. Xena leaned into her out of almost sheer confusion. The sharp teeth, the loving arms, the enormous muscles on those arms, the comforting vibration of Gabrielle's voice against her back, her feral body language - Xena's instinctual fear response tangled up with a variety of other responses and tripped over a bushel of new stimuli, rendering her unsure what to do or feel. But not unhappy about where she was. Perhaps pleased with that small capitulation, Gabrielle rubbed her cheek against Xena's and hummed again. She pulled away and leaned forward to catch her eye, her visage the image of beastly contentment. "Okay?" Xena looked at this beast that held her - the partner that cuddled her securely - and couldn't help herself. Slowly, she reached up with the hand on Gabrielle's side of her body... and touched her fuzzy ear. It twitched. She took the ear between her fingers and rubbed it. So soft... Gabrielle sneezed and shook her head vigorously before gently butting her temple against Xena's. She grumbled, "That... tickles." She bent to lick the side of Xena's neck, and an involuntary shiver from Xena followed. After a pause, she licked again, slower, and Xena felt herself lean against Gabrielle even more. A delicate nibble on her earlobe came next, and Xena couldn't help the gasp. Gabrielle's hands moved to Xena's hips and trailed up to her waist... and higher, slowly. She sniffed the air and chuckled. "My little mate wants me... Would you like me to be gentle?" Well. This was one way to fill their time while they were barred into a hut. Xena swallowed as large hands slid over her breasts. "Just... a little gentle. Maybe." Her desire shouted down every question she almost thought to ask of herself in this situation. She wanted - enough she was weak in the knees and already breathing faster. And her mate surely wanted. Xena felt the tug of clever teeth pulling the ties of her leathers undone. "Let's play."

My Great Hope

Hope gasped and jolted out of her reverie upon the twinge that she should have been expecting. Her fingers gripped the stone altar below her as she panted and tried not to snap her thighs together. Warily, she eyed Seraphin as the priestess all too gladly helped prepare her goddess for childbirth.

“Oh, Gabrielle,” she sighed under her breath, her large eyes closed in bliss. “At last, you have accepted me! I always dreamed we’d come together as one. I’ve looked up to you all my life and love you so. Every day, I wished to be with you like this. Before she came along.” Visage darkening once more, Seraphin bared her teeth at her invisible enemy.

Satisfaction battled pain. A shared hatred for Xena bound Hope to her priestess tightest of all their other connections, even more than their devotion to Dahak. Second was their common longing and resentment for the battling bard of Potidaea. 

The daughter of darkness’s stomach twisted in duller, separate apprehension upon thinking the town’s name. She was only days away from taking up Gabrielle’s role in her family home. Will grandmother love me? What will it be like to live in a home filled with love and warmth? Will my son love me? she wondered too. More, will I love him? Can I? Hope trembled.

“Oh, Gabrielle,” Seraphin sighed again. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry it hurts, love. But you’re doing so well, and soon, your child will be born. The great hope and savior of us all will come from you. And I will help you bring her here. All the world will worship her, Gabrielle; you. Gabrielle, I love you. I love you!” she moaned in rising ecstasy.

Hope found her own arms encircling her priestess and pulling the mortal close. Yes, Gabrielle; I am Gabrielle. In due time, I will give birth to my great hope. And I will love her dearly. Nothing will ever tear us apart. A single tear escaped down her cheek.

---

This truncated (and de-X-rated) excerpt comes from “The Daughter of Duality,” my fic exploring Hope’s perspective of her life and family. :’) What can I say? I have a lot of sympathy not only for Gabrielle, but her offspring as well. *shrug*

Traditions ||| Prince!Yeosang x Princess!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Fantasy, a bit of angst but a happy ending Warning(s): inferences to death (succession) and natural disaster tragedy  Word Count: 4005 AN: Happy Birthday Yeosang blessed elfin prince. Just thinking about how princely he appears was the only inspiration for this entirely. you can tell i find yeosang beautiful and i will not apologise for that. feminine-presenting Reader Royalty AU

~~~

Wind whistling outside the murky visage of dark stained glass, you made your way through the long corridors to the dining hall. The cold air that nipped at your cheeks was only rebuffed by the delicately carved firebrands that lined the walls, hooded by rouge. 

Even though you wished you had taken Beatrice up on her suggestion that you wear a dress that would match one of your several coats, you couldn’t say you entirely regretted your decision. The way the silver tresses that entwined across your waist was worth the goosebumps beneath long draping sleeves. The amaranthine shine gave you the firm yet free light that reflected in your eyes, gracing all who could see with not only your true colours but also a sight for sore eyes. You’d always suited the soft violet silk, for years having been a private signature that made you feel unique behind closed doors. It did not provide its own form of stability to the people, however, quite like the vermilion did. Knowing that in these times they needed it in every capacity, you garbed yourself in red for the world, while violet remained a treat.

Besides, you knew there was another benefit to the tremors of shiver that ran up your spine and pooled at your exposed shoulders.

Taking the last corner you could finally see the large oak doors that led into the hall in the dim light. They were closed, but a thin sliver of gold broke through their seal, its promise of food inviting you in. However, a few feet away from the corridor’s end, something else stole your attention entirely. A shimmer of auburn in the thick of the night.

Distracted you slowly made your way over to the nearest window, excitement pooling in your chest and fluttering like a bird wishing to be set free.

one pair of small but intricate heels that had been clicking against the rich wood behind you suddenly slowed. Peering back without hesitation, you saw your second lady in waiting’s grin glimmer in the auburn light as she skipped to the nearest window.  Forcing yourself to look beyond the hazy reflection of yourself, you chased the lucrative gold that pierced the night. Your eyes began in the wrong place, too high, where the road began to sink into the distance, but they quickly trailed down to the castle-side, where you spotted, far below, a carriage flickering beside firelight. A warm smile you’d come to know well warmed upon your lips.

“He’s early,” you announced to the air, feeling slightly guilty when the guard stood firmly by the door offered you a startled look

“Who is, Your Royal Highness?” he stuttered, a panicked undertone as he assumed that you’d been talking to him.

You chuckled, feeling relieved as he visibly relaxed, “Why, Graves, my husband of course!” It was clear that he tried to hide the surprise in his expression, not realising that he shared with you.

“I know, absurd right?” you said, sweeping over to the door as he returned your grin at last, before imploring to him in a whisper, “I won’t eat you, Graves, I promise. I’m not like my father.”

“Yes, Your Royal Highness.” He bowed in acknowledgement.

Praying that the interaction would dispel any residing fears, you passed through into the dining hall, tall and imposing. You hadn’t liked it all that much, it was too tall and grand, with chandeliers the size of sleeping quarters and columns whose cracks were filled with molten silver. It was a bit much, especially just for a place to eat, but you knew how much worse it could be. You’d seen your older sister’s, you’d seen the drapes of handwoven silk cast in bright crimson and the intricacies of the hand-carved floorboards, dictating the legends of the early days. As vulgar it was, it was how your father built castles for his kingdom, and it was no wonder that it would be the one you would inherit. 

Ignoring the painted ceiling you ran your eyes along the long mahogany table at the numerous platters dotted across its surface at both ends, lids retaining heat and disguising the beauty inside. You wondered why they always made so much for you when you never ate it anywhere near it all.  The firelight from the large hearth that filled the room with a homely scent of warmth and tranquil danced across the varnished floor, painting it with muffled shades of gold and pink. And there, on the other side of the hall was a shadow that disjointed said light.

Tilting your head up confidently, your fingers interlinking at your waist, you found the man who you had waited for every time, waiting for you.

Having shed his onyx coat and draped it across the back of his chair, you were blessed with just how well suited the deep azure of his kingdom. The satin across his back almost glittered in the light, adorning his neck that craned to let him look off to the left. His shirt was tucked neatly into black leather trousers, that you caught yourself staring at for way too long for the ‘checking for stains’ excuse to run even now (you were pretty sure he hadn’t believed the excuse in the first place anyway, but he hadn’t asked you to stop nor ever brought it up again, and you were pretty sure you’d caught him a few times staring at you so, who were you to complain?) that then slipped into comfortable laced boots. He had to have changed, he couldn’t have possibly worn them outside in such poor weather, and the thought just added to how your heart fluttered—he didn’t have to dress up at all, especially since he would have to go out again tomorrow.

His hand lifting from his hip, he removed his sword in its scabbard and leant it against the wall, before finally turning around.

Even at such a distance you were awestruck. Those gorgeous eyes that stared so knowingly at the world now gazed over at you, leaving you feeling a new shade of vulnerable that had taken a while to get used to, but now you weren’t sure you could live without. As with that vulnerability came his gentleness, the curve of his full lips that uttered sweet things despite his stoic nature, and the touch of his hand that rose to meet yours when you addressed the people. He had confused you at first, worried you the next as neither of you spoke. Now you understood his insecurities and threw any misinformed regrets to the side. Now you could see how his hair seemed to effortlessly curl to frame his face but also to carry a crown. 

His fringe then was mottled with damp, his hat adorning the chair with his coat having had only so much success protecting him from the rain. But he still looked ethereal as he always did, and sounded it too.

“Your Royal Highness,” he greeted as he was taught, a deep bow with his hand pressed to his heart. Even though the awkwardness had subsided between the two of you, you still greeted each other like this, despite what you’d discerned. 

“Your highness,” you returned, unable to hide your wince. Why couldn’t you greet each other like you wished you could? Ignore the rings on your fingers and the arrangements made by family and do it all properly.

He smiled at you and waited for you to take your seat, deep eyes following your every move. You sighed mentally, feeling the small doubts begin to regrow in your mind. Perhaps you’d misjudged entirely and your affections led you to just reach into the dark and cling to the first light that appeared.

Taking your seat, your eyes not leaving his, he at last drew his chair back at the opposite side of the table. You let him get comfortable before removing the closest lid to reveal a huge portion of neatly sliced venison seasoned with a variety of spices and coupled with copious vegetables—half of which you didn’t recognise. It smelt delicious and you took the cutlery into your hands, but with your mind preoccupied with another important matter you didn’t feel like eating at all.

While you ran the sharp edge of your knife across the tender flesh, Yeosang tucked straight in, not that you blamed him. His journey home had been long, sustained mostly on fish that would only remind him of home—that and your cooks being truly something special.

“So, dear husband,” you announced across the long table with a coy smile, timing your words just right so he would have his mouthful when he had to answer you, “how was your trip outside Cresciel’s borders?”

“Hmm...” He noticed the mischief in your lips, opting to take his time mulling your question over as he chewed even slower than before. It was moments like these, where he played along with you and teased in return, that questioned whether doubts should be sown. “It was long, mostly tedious. Earl of Blouze is an utter nightmare.”

“As usual,” you chuckled, the same mix of sympathy and humour bubbling in your chest as when you had found out who he would be travelling with. Yeosang hadn’t found it amusing and had sulked for the rest of the afternoon while the packing began. He looked adorable with a pout on his lips though, and you only cooed at him six times. “And Caillteo?”

He nodded. “Recovering well for how much damage was done. The mines are back up and running again, a good harvest this autumn and they’ll be back on their feet without aid. The people are still on edge but they seem hopeful, and you were right, Caillteoans are tough: they’ve leapt into construction and sharing resources between themselves fairly.”

“That’ll be Xena’s example,” you noted, taking a sip of your drink. Surprised at the sweet kick, you coughed before laughing at yourself, “they’re always leading by example—I’m fine Yeosang, really.”

You spotted the worry in his expression through how it turned blank. He’d explained it to you, bathed in the gold of the afternoon sun that did little to ease his mind. He didn’t want to panic the person in concern anymore than they perhaps already were. That had been the day where you’d run your fingers through his hair, locks smooth as silk and scented of the roses found on the mountainsides. He had softened in your embrace, letting you hold him delicately in the peace of the royal garden, closing his omniscient eyes that were cursed to catch too much. It had proven that just trying to be the stable option for the nation resulted in a chaos of the mind.  You wished he would rely on you more. You were used to it, your sister confided with you her plans to disappear, your mother on the will, your cousins when they visited. You didn’t get the choice in some of those circumstances, but you were willing to take on what Yeosang needed. 

You felt heat flush to your face. Since when had you become so attached to him? This hadn’t been what you had expected to happen at all.

“Yes, they truly are. I listened to their grievances, they were furious at how little respect they had received from Cruter, and extremely thankful for the aid we sent them. It was vital for them to get the waterways up and running again, otherwise it would have flooded the sewage system further and...” he came to an unexpected halt, as if a weight had rolled onto his tongue and forced it still. You placed your knife upon the plate quietly, inclining to listen to what finally followed. 

“Yeosang?” you murmured, though due to the distance you couldn’t be sure he even heard it.

“...Xena was glad to see where my allegiances laid, that seeing me gave them and Caillteoans hope. They wanted me to make it clear to you that their kingdom’s alliances are with you—us—alone.”

“They’ve turned away from your grandfather completely?” You couldn’t hide the surprise that filtered into your voice, but watched him carefully as you spoke in response to it. “He’s turned his most loyal—?”

“It’s what he deserves,” Yeosang interrupted, eyes turned towards his food. He’d paused eating, a cut of meat levied on his fork and he stared it down as if it were Cruter himself, “and I think they know how my father’s reign is going to go.”

He took the bite as if out of spite, digging in thoroughly once again. Meanwhile you were left frowning. “Have they managed to predict Idina too, do you think?” After he didn’t respond, you straightened your posture, worry beginning to sink in. “Yeosang? I don’t rule Cresciel yet, and if the plan falls apart I won’t have much power at all! A-as far as anyone else is aware, my sister is going to inherit the—”

“I don’t know,” he finally replied with the shake of his head, his frown mimicking yours, “that’s all they said.”

With eyes met across the vast mahogany dotted with silver and the firelight, silence seeped into the room, only dispelled momentarily by the crackle of flames. 

Your thoughts gathered in your brain, clustering and talking over one another, interjecting and splitting, producing more and more like a disease.  If others could work it out then it would only be a matter of time before your father would, and that would put both your sister and you in danger. Even being a beacon of calm for the future to the people and surrounding kingdoms wouldn’t be enough to hold your plans together, and if things went truly wrong, not only would you be at huge risk of losing your husband and all the arrangements your marriage made, but there would also be mayhem for the innocents you had subtly promised would be safe.

Your breath came out ragged and you swallowed it to steady. The situation was sticky, but you would pull through. You’d make it work. The King of Caillteo was on your side, and that strengthened what you had. Cruter could hardly have endeared himself to his subjects through his ignorance towards the tragedy—especially since word carried that the angered storm had affected the outer towns upon his Siyanirean borders too. With that in hand and your plan just in the waiting process, it wouldn’t be long before Yeosang was King in his grandfather and father’s stead and the kingdoms were united, working peacefully instead of warring like they always did.

Digging your nails into your palms, you wondered why your nerves wouldn’t simmer down. You’d gone over the plan hundreds of times, and things were moving in your favour—both should have eased the sudden attack of worry. But they didn’t, and you were left with bruise-purple divots in your palms, and quivering fingers. You wanted them to be held still, you didn’t like the sight of them fragile. You wanted to be held, by Yeosang—no other would do, as no one else understood it all. He was the only one who knew the details of the full plan, knew what the pressure was like. But he was on the other end of the table.

It seemed ridiculous that a table and a (comparatively) short distance was holding you back. There were no physical barricades, the grandiose chairs tucked in neatly, the food too cold to even eat and get you to stay. Yet, even though your feet twitched, your body didn’t move to go to his side and ask for comfort, like you’d given to him that golden afternoon before.

“Did you miss anything,” your mouth spoke out of the blue, “while you were gone?”

Had your husband looked up he would have noticed the disjoint between your calm tone and your stony expression. But he didn’t, not yet. 

“Not my ship if that’s what you’re asking,” he retorted, assuming you were teasing him once again. After finishing another bite you stared as his face softened, “Though I guess I missed some company.” When you didn’t speak up, voice trapped in your throat as your brain ticked over what he meant, he continued, “The nights were cold, so I thought I missed the warmth of here. They were also quiet, and so I thought I missed the sounds of here but... the more I thought about it, the more I realised that this castle is just as quiet as the other ones I stayed in, and when I added blankets it made no difference. 

“And then I had to speaks to others and, well... every time I met with the nobles, it felt as if they looked down on me, as if I wasn’t really one of them despite my claim. I knew it shouldn’t surprise me, as my grandfather is, well, my grandfather and no one knows just how poor my father’s health is but... even the people didn’t believe I was the real deal, and they were the nice ones. Others I’m sure couldn’t comprehend I was capable of making a difference at all.”

As he trailed off, with your eyes hazy you countered plainly. “And you wanted me there so they somehow wouldn’t? If I was there they wouldn’t look at you at all.” You would have winced at the harshness of your words, consoled him with an apology and the distraction of food or a change of scenery, but you didn’t. You cursed yourself for being selfish.

Yeosang however didn’t seem to take it to heart, trying to explain clearer. “No I mean... it’s easier to chase the doubts of my own abilities away with you at my side. Because you believe in me.”

After cleaning his plate his pretty eyes flicked up to take you in at last, only to become flecked with worry. “Why aren’t you eating?”

Debating and answer in your head you remained silent, gaze dropping to your lukewarm food without a single chunk missing. Clutching your hands together in your lap in an effort to control the quiver in them, you avoided his stare. “I really mean that much to you?”

Out of your peripheral you caught his nod. “Of course. You’re my closest friend, my rock, I don’t think I could have ever succeeded like this without you.”

You peered up at him at last, to catch the sincerity on his features. The apples of his cheeks had a blushed hue, so did the tips of his ears. But you couldn’t make out the etches upon his lips, or the birthmark adorning the corner of his eye. He was too far away, all because of stupid rules. “Then why are you so far away?” you poised.

There was a heavy silence that seemed to even mottle the crackling in the hearth. Your gaze trailed over to the dancing flames, warm and dynamic like the flushes of first love—like your heart.

“Because I didn’t think you wanted me any closer.”

Your head whipped up to him as soon as his words graced the air and the creak of wood scraping across wood resonated through the floor. Yeosang, with footfalls cautious, was making his way across the dining hall towards you. You straightened your back, mouth agape but with no words to fill the space.

Even though it felt like the journey took hours, he was suddenly at your side, brow creased with concern as he placed one hand tentatively on the back of your chair. 

“Y/N, I...”

“I missed you too.”

Chin tilted up you took in the sight of the man you had married properly. How his jaw curved, how his chest rose and fell as he breathed, how his hair slowly fell out of place to cover his eyes while he peered down at you. Months of past worry trickled through from your subconscious as you remembered the anxieties you’d had about your marriage. You trusted your mother’s decision, but that didn’t mean you didn’t interrogate yourself nightly on whether you could be happy being married to a man you didn’t love romantically, one that you didn’t desire sensually. 

You hadn’t slept the night before the castle doors opened to welcome in your chosen suitor. You’d been informed it was a tough and arduous selection process but you had blanked most of it out. With a stone-set face you had been helped into a dress of your sister’s—flowing scarlet with gold lace at the neck—before adorning your neck with an amethyst necklace despite the advice you were offered. Then you took those wide grand stairs down to where your soon-to-be fiance waited, arm interlinked with your sister’s. She had smiled and said something to you, but you hadn’t paid any attention—this time for a good reason.

After days on end of worrying, you were confronted with a meek young boy who could easily have been mistaken to be years younger than you. Garbed in rich navy, he stood prostrate at his father’s side, his posture displaying confidence as he was instructed while his stare flit upon the engraved ground.  When you had taken the final step and swept across the varnished pearl beneath your feet your families greeted heartily while you stared at the boy who eventually worked up the courage to stare back. ‘He isn’t real’, had been the first thought to flash in your mind. After all he had full cloudy cheeks and wide set dark eyes that made him look as if he was borne of another realm. You wondered if the pink blemish upon his temple was a sign of that: a deity’s way to prove that he was in fact human and not an angel. Eyeing him up and down you had found a body just out of proportion to be considered finished, but you guessed he would grow, and fit his elfin face one day in the future.  Overall, he had washed your worries away and replaced them with a newfound curiosity that you hadn’t mentioned to him before.

Of course, you had been right, he did grow. His shoulders broadened and chest filled out while his cheeks retained the majority of their softness. He grew then to become more open, a smile flourished on his lips and once that happened it was only a matter of time. Regardless, despite all his changes that young boy was still there, still watching carefully, even now.

Yeosang stood at your side quite like he had done all those years ago—back rigid, eyes trailing away from where he wanted to focus them. And it softened your heart, practically turned it to pulp, when he finally spoke in a voice completely different to the boy from your past, “I think I might be falling in love with you.”

You watched as he bit his lip disappointedly, as if he’d admitted something wrong. 

“Me too,” you breathed, dispelling his worry and turning it into a startled expression as you stood with him. Your fingers came up to his collar, straightening it out absentmindedly as you met his eyes properly this time. “Forget the rules, forget the traditions, Sangie?” you suggested in a whisper.

He nodded, a smile rising to his lips so bright that you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.

Cupping his cheeks in your hands gently, he dipped in to let your lips finally meet, a hum bubbling through your chest in satisfaction. He was finally close to you, and he felt so different from what you’d imagined. His embrace pulling you close he radiated warmth. His lips tasted of the berries that he had drank and his touch was so fluid and soft across the skin of you back. You didn’t mind, you liked how wrong you were. 

Because he kissed you just like the tradition didn’t dictate, and though it had been the arrangements of others that brought your love to you, it was time to do it your way.

~~~

AN: I was going to make yn a duchess bc like princess is overdone and then i got confused and like shite just bc im british doesnt mean i understand the royal family one bit, let alone the hierarchy of titles

so yeah yn is a princess wbk

also this is much longer than the other presents only bc i got carried away i realise i like royal aus and this just wrote itself i promised myself i wouldnt do this with bday presents but oop

any names of the staff at the royal household were randomly generated place names were made using various words put into indifferentlanguages.com +  the word combiner on wordunscrambler.net (so any resemblance to rel places is unintentional)

(also none of yeosang’s relations are based on any of his real family of course, theyre just made up. i imagine yeosang loves his family very much and so this is just creative license)

~~~

Masterlist

XWP Asks: Alti, Ares, Callisto, Cyrene, Hope, Varia, and Xena!

Hey thanks anon!! 🤩

Alti: Who or what would be considered your Nemesis? Why?

Right now I’m about to lose it over our next door neighbors’ shitty RV they keep parking in the driveway. If the Purge happened tomorrow, that is the one and only crime I would commit to fulfill my felonious urges: setting fire to their piece of shit Winnebago. Its lopsided, trash bag windowed, paint-chipped visage makes me so... SO angry.

Ares: What’s the pettiest relationship thing you’ve done? (or, that someone did to you?)

I’ve got something someone did to me here but to be fair, one of mine is that once when I was in that awkward period where I was broken up with someone but hadn’t moved out yet—I got a hickey on my neck from the next person and I knew my ex would see it and get pissed so I invited friends over to the apartment the next day so she couldn’t say anything to me for at least a few hours. It worked as far as in person confrontation, but she ended up basically just walking out of the apartment and driving a couple hours to her parents’ house for the weekend, angrily texting me about the hickey instead. This was not, as they say, a peaceful breakup.

Callisto: Who’s someone that lives rent-free in your head, and why?

Freshman year of college, I had this BEST friend (let’s call her K) and I worshipped the ground she walked on, thinking I finally had a cool butch friend who would get in a barfight with me (we came close), and then late in the second semester that year, she started dating a Rugby Lesbian™️... and by the start of sophomore year, K had completely ditched me for a whole group of cool fratty, athletic lesbians with nicknames like “Truck”, and K’s new best friend was someone we’ll call “J”.

Like a person who has been cheated on and doesn’t blame their partner at all, I’ve held a deep hatred for J that has no rational basis; it’s just because I associate her stupid face with losing my friend and watching it play out on Facebook.

Fast forward, J now works at my company, in the same building, and I have to behave when we see each other. She has no idea that I feel this way—I doubt she even knows K was friends with me.

This is also why I can’t stand R*by R*se; she and J are basically the same person 🤣

Cyrene: Do you live in your hometown, or have you moved away?

I moved away! But not to an improved situation, politics-wise. Tulsa’s my hometown but I now live in Missouri. Not recommended.

Hope: Who is your celebrity/public figure doppelganger?

I have used Jake Zyrus as my profile picture on facespace before because of how much we look alike, and yt friends thought he was legitimately me.

Varia: What’s something you regret?

Nothing groundbreaking, I’m fairly decisive when I have the option to be, but in the words of Andrea Gibson—

I’ve got a closet full of protest signs / Buried by all the times I wish I had been kinder to a friend / I wish I listened better than I did

Xena: Give us an unpopular opinion about a popular public figure or celebrity.

:: deep breath, taps mic :: Canon DCEU Supergirl/Kara Danvers is the metahuman version of a grown up horse girl.

i was going back thru my tagsofthewhathaveyou posts and damn if they didn’t still make me laugh so now it’s time fooooorrrrrrr

Tags of the Week or Something Like It -

Greatest Hits!!!!

#Checkmate atheists

#i bet spooks hassle him all day trying to possess that rockin bod

#g spoot

#make sure to play it loud enough to hear in my coffin so i'll know my cue to kick it open

#*takes next train to garbage hell*

#HAS SCIENCE gonE TOOO FAR?????

#go big or go home as i never say

#so weird it almost seems like if you do something instead of nothing at all that results can be achieved

#do it. drink fire.

#I'm IN HeELL

#this better be good or I will kill everyone who's ever betrayed me

#so I ran him through with an axe.

#I had an idea for a script once.#It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws#they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws#so the guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws#I call it Big Jaws#I already got a sequel in mind. It's called Way Bigger Jaws.

#y’all are pervs

#i want to tranquilize him#with my vagina

#CHROST

#DEAD TOM’S DEAD

#i round up to lesbian

#PLEASE DON’T LOOK IN THAT GUITAR CASE IT IS FILLED WITH SECRETS MOTHER

#hide this behaviour from your family in case they add it to their list of things to frown about

#The refreshing crunch of Sonic mpreg

#I'll date who I wanna date you hot potato chicken nugget ass double dipped bastard

#it’s like assassin’s creed but worthless and annoying

#i remember being angry the day i discovered the patella wasn't literally a little bowl that cradled your knee like a tiny leg helmet

#...............how to toothpaste

#having multiple heads and terrifyingly powerful visages must be hard for all of you

#Whatever the hell fucking time or day it is on what the fuck ever planet I'm on

#i am terrified of macauly culkin tbh

#some1 call da hottie police

#*toot toot too-* *stops* fuck. *toot too toot*

#i bet you looked down here to see if there was a little extra joke in the tags

#no not that low-- THAT'S NAUGHTY

#ok but if Xena's not in it it's not true

#if you ignore my flaming vomit body

#can i liver here?

#I mean who the hell knew bananas were flammable they never mention that

#these things are too glamorous to stick in my glorious orifices.

#one day the aliens will come and use our love of hollywood pets against us

#ain't nobody fuckin' with my click click cl...why won't this fucking remote work?

#abandoned you sayyyy….

#Thomas the NSFW Engine

#thigs gap

#are you out of YOUR MIND

#then again it doesn't really matter because the sun will explode and everything

#dogs getting hired is why I can't get a job. Thanks Obama

#I could make a list of people who need to stop. This list would span the Atlantic.

#partner in crime or partner in.. *whispers*....sexual activity

#Did you know that wolves also enjoy Mimosas like people?

#nope useless let's eat them

#no wanking till winter

#everybody is so utterly fucking dead jim

#this isn’t helping my fucking raging FIERY EXPLODING DESIRE TO SHHHHHHHHHHHHH  #SHAG HIM

#the other day i found a relative in a jar in the roof and THAT’S NOT SOMETHING ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

#quite a goddamn pickle if you ask me

#*crawls under a rotten log in the middle of the woods to die*

#but beastiality?!?!?

#my vibrator just electrocuted me.

#is this a joke I'm going to punch you in the lips with my mouth

#this is a vagina you can't fool me

#why can dogs even snore what is the point

#If the FBI sees this I’M KIDDING jfc

#I think it would be amazing to be killed by Christopher Lee.

#my first blowjob i was really scared so my boyfriend let me put nutella on his penis and all was well 

#australia is an animal joke factory

#just click your heels three times and then eat that mothafucka

#Pooh u ok?

#feelings disgust me

#ACTUALLY I WOULD TOTALLY DOWNLOAD A BUTT

#everyone is gay on tumblr

#you know what appeals to me sexually? cake.

#i also took the 'are you a potato?' test and the result was inconclusive.

#abraham lincoln could tell you that story and you would make him apologise for lying to you.

#I NEED MY HEART TO LIVE

#not even that time when i picked up that hitchhiker who turned out to be dead

#It's like Being John Malkovich only SEXY

#this isn't a metaphor for sexuality it's a tag about how i'm really bad at baseball.

#look don't come to me for spiritual advice i think the impending zombie uprising will sort everything out

#this scared the lousy shit out of me

#like when your house gets too dirty so you burn it down

Trouble Is My Business Movie (2018): Humorous Homage to Film Noir Classics

Tim Cogshell

3 years ago

Trouble Is My Business movie Brittney PowellTrouble Is My Business movie with Brittney Powell.

Trouble Is My Business movie (2018) review: Starring and co-written by actor/voice actor Tom Konkle, who also directed, and Xena: Warrior Princess actress Brittney Powell, Trouble Is My Business is a humorous homage to Hollywood films noir, particularly Touch of Evil.

Contents hide

1. Trouble Is My Business movie review: Humorous film noir homage evokes memories of Touch of Evil & The Maltese Falcon

1.1. More film noir references

1.2. Noir artifice

2. “Trouble Is My Business Movie (2018)” endnotes

Trouble Is My Business movie review: Humorous film noir homage evokes memories of Touch of Evil & The Maltese Falcon

A crunchy, witty, and often just plain funny mash-up of classic noir tropes, from hard-boiled private dicks to the easy-on-the-eyes femme fatales – in addition to dialogue worthy of Dashiell Hammett and, occasionally, Mel Brooks – Trouble Is My Business means business, but it doesn’t mind having a good chuckle as it walks the dark and winding path of double-crosses, corruption, and death.

Directed by Tom Konkle, who also co-wrote and co-stars with Brittney Powell as the dick and the dame, Trouble Is My Business – no direct connection to Raymond Chandler’s 1939 Philip Marlowe short story – features Konkle as private eye Roland Drake, the quintessential representation of the 1940s noir detective.

No pretty boy, Drake’s visage has more in common with Robert Mitchum (who played Marlowe in the 1975 neo-noir Farewell, My Lovely) than Humphrey Bogart (who was Sam Spade in the movie about the black bird).

Neither of those guys were pretty boys either, which is why we bought them. And that’s why we buy Konkle as a forlorn detective taking the rap for the death of a girl he was supposed to save.

Brittney Powell is also a veteran actor whose credits include Brunhilda in Xena: Warrior Princess, among several auspicious roles in all manner of film and television. She’s very good as Jennifer Montemar, a part written by Powell herself so she could play the kind of woman she always wanted.

Jennifer has a good deal more humor than, say, Mary Astor’s desperate femme fatale in The Maltese Falcon. Yet Powell (eventually) gives the character even more of an edge than Jane Greer’s blonde, man-eating girl-shark in Out of the Past.

More film noir references

Those movies and a number of others that only true aficionados of the genre will notice are referenced in Trouble Is My Business. For fans, it’s lovely catching little homages to Double Indemnity and Murder, My Sweet, but the film Trouble Is My Business circles most often is the great Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil.

Shades of Welles’ evil Police Captain Hank Quinlan show up in the character played by veteran Vernon Wells (The Road Warrior). That’s Det. Barry Tate, a sadistic sociopath of a cop that Drake must eventually face, alongside his other demons.

Besides, the twists and turns of the plot are every bit as serpentine as those in most noir. I still don’t know what’s going on in The Maltese Falcon, and I’m not sure I know exactly what’s going on in this movie either – but as is the case with most noir, who cares? It’s the ride, the characters, and the tone itself – not the stories – that make noir … noir.

Noir artifice

To that end, the Trouble Is My Business filmmakers use another film noir trope: artifice. The films noir of old were not infrequently inexpensive productions; some were downright cheap. They usually faked everything from locations and lighting to the existence of walls and ceilings where there were none.

The use of darkness was not necessarily a stroke of filmmaking genius in the production of some films noir; it was at times a necessity because of little production design and lots of stuff to hide. The leading man never changed clothes because the leading lady’s wardrobe was more important.

Trouble Is My Business uses the artifice of props, costumes, and special effects to create 1940s Los Angeles exteriors and lush interiors all of which is slightly unreal, if not a little surreal. Orson Welles, himself a master of the unreal in a number of ways, would have been most impressed.

Trouble Is My Business (2018)

Director: Tom Konkle.

Screenplay: Tom Konkle & Brittney Powell.

Cast: Tom Konkle. Brittney Powell. Vernon Wells. David Beeler. Steve Tom. Ben Pace. Mark Teich. Doug Spearman.

Running Time: 116 min.

“Trouble Is My Business Movie (2018)” endnotes

Brittney Powell Trouble Is My Business image: Lumen Actus.

“Trouble Is My Business Movie (2018): Humorous Homage to Film Noir Classics” last updated in August 2021.