bodyswap but it's just the Creatures Within(tm) switching hosts I wonder how that'd go

well I'm stuck at the airport for a while and could use the thought exercise so let's go with it haha

just for consistency let's assume these pairings take place in the host's universe but with the creatures*tm* abilities, ie. greed gets full control of whatever body he works with while john just gets eyes, ling has his motivating factors of being emperor or w/e regardless of pairing while eddie is a washed up reporter in san fran etc.

Ling + Greed: Canonically work incredibly well together, drift compatible idiots, despite having 0 control of his body ling is still able to get his way in the end and had greed doing him favors within 10 minutes of knowing each other, 10/10 compatibility 10/10 functionality

Ling + Venom: hmmm this one's trickier - right away ling is probably extremely agreeable to murder so long as it's who he wants dead/he gets power out of it, so in that regard they'd get along just fine. I think in terms of personality venom is actually extremely easy to work with with very minimal prodding, like he was ready to betray his entire species within like 24 hours so I think ling could get him on board with his power plotting in no time flat and they'd probably have some fun with it. Longer term they might not last too long together since venom is a romantic at heart so ling might need to pass him off to a more suitable partner down the line, but at least in terms of immediate matchups they'd get on well/would probably eat the emperor or something and have a great time doing it. 6/10 compatibility 8/10 functionality

Ling + John: this one's really funny to me john is so fucked lmao - what really works against john here is the fact that ling doesn't really need his eyes to do anything since he can use the dragon's pulse instead and he's also bizarrely mentally stable so it's unlikely his mind would slip enough for john to grab ahold of anything else, so his ability to make himself valuable is pretty dang limited. John's best bet here is convincing ling that working together could result in some sort of power being made available to him down the line, and just have to hope ling decides that's worth his time more than paying for an exorcism. Given ling was willing to search a random country with nothing more than sand and optimism in his pockets those odds aren’t zero though! Beating up cults and making deals with elder gods is very much in ling’s wheelhouse, I’d say normally messing with those things works out poorly for the person investigating them but ling is god’s favorite so he’ll probably be fine. 4/10 compatibility 7/10 functionality

Ling + Rhaast: I mean it’d be fine let’s be real, if rhaast couldn’t corrupt kayn after X years together then ling will be totally fine. Biggest hurdle is I don’t think scythes are ling’s weapon of choice but he could make it work- realistically he’d probably just gift rhaast to the emperor and hope he’d be an impressive enough boon or that rhaast would kill the emperor for him. Idk as much about how the player characters work in lol but assuming kayn’s blue level up thing is canon I assume ling would have that unlocked and rhaast dead in less than three hours. 2/10 compatibility 3-8/10 functionality depending on if sicko mode is canon or not

Eddie + Greed: so in terms of personality I think they’d either get on very well or hate each other with very little in between haha- I lean more towards the former in that Eddie is a somewhat pathetic wash-up and greed is well versed on that kind of personality via making his living in a dive bar. I don’t think they’d be a good reporter though lol. 5/10 compatibility 3/10 functionality

Eddie + Venom: he’s his right hand arm- man. his confidant. his everything. his best friend. his silly rabbit. 10/10 compatibility 7/10 functionality they’re a train wreck that was made for each other

Eddie + John: so this one does have some interesting promise given Eddie is an investigative reporter and also a little insane/prone to impulsive decisions. With that setup I think they actually have the potential to work pretty well together, it would be fun to see how the cookie would crumble over time haha. 8/10 compatibility 8/10 functionality

Eddie + Rhaast: Eddie picks up the scythe and pawns it 0/10 compatibility 0/10 functionality

Arthur + Greed: okay assuming this is memory wipe greed? Might not be too bad, like they might end up in jail but overall surviving the 1930s is feasible for greed and Arthur is probably decent enough company if things are mellow enough. If this is full memory greed? They go into a bar and never leave it again. 6/10 compatibility 3/10 functionality

Arthur + Venom: extremely funny to imagine this one is fun hahaha - I feel like the “lovecraftian horror setting” is just about perfect for venom I genuinely think the cult-busting by night detective by day crime duo has promise - elder gods are all about tentacles and venom can use that to his advantage to assert dominance. 6/10 compatibility 9/10 functionality

Arthur + John: see this one's funny cause this is the canon pairing but their mileage varies so much by virtue of the fact they are the main characters of a choose-your-own-adventure horror podcast, and thus can never really succeed for longer than a few moments lest their entire reality grind to a screeching halt. that said by this point they're mutual lifelines to one another and I respect the codependence. 8/10 compatibility 6/10 functionality (which is pretty high given their medium)

Arthur + Rhaast: exact same as eddie only instead of pawning it probably ends up taking it to some eldrich historian to find out what's up with it. that said arthur Does have a history of immediately going along with voices in his head so he might be the one guy rhaast could actually take over in which case rip arthur lol - regardless pretty unlikely they'd ever stick together longer than an afternoon, 1/10 compatibility 0/10 functionality

not even gonna bother ranking Kayn pairings since I really don't know enough about that guy (really don't know enough about rhaast either but he's funny enough to include lol)