Some notes on Wilson's marriages/divorces, and how he met House:
• House didn't just meet a freshly divorced Wilson. He met barely married Wilson, who just got notified about his #1 divorce by a lawyer, not his wife
• Wilson walked around with papers on hand, long enough to give House a chance to sneak a peek. The same day he received the news. (there's a chance it was some sort of middle step in the divorce procedure, but "just served", checkmate your honor)
• House 100% knew that when he bailed him out. No, I don't have any concrete evidence besides "it's fucking House"
• House had Wilson observed the entire time to know he didn't open the papers. The divorce lawyer prob gave him an idea of what it is, and he was just marinating in the suffering juice
• House had to be nosy and stealthy when he checked the package Wilson clung to, he saw what's written on it
• They didn't actually talk at the conference itself, so House did it silently too
• There was a law firm address on the papers, and you couldn't just google shit then. House's had to remember it to investigate it further, or he already knew of the firm (or it said "BLAH LAW FIRM BLAH HERE'S YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS, LOSER", which is possible)
• Wilson likely opened them in a hotel room (or he looked at the package sadly/angrily there too), needed a drink, and House was at the bar
• House was watching Wilson at that conference, then at the bar, then meltdown over the song, then the whole fight and the mess, then the detention, and was like yeah I'll bail that
• "First words you ever said to me." This is when they first talked, Wilson was in jail and the one in need
• Ok alright, hear me out, if House didn't know what the papers were at the time of bailing. There are 2 paths for him to find out
• Wilson STILL had them on hand in jail
• Or Housey saw them at Wilson's hotel room. Yeah
• It's been over the decade since they've met and they both vividly remember the details of that drunk night (I get why for storytelling purposes. Still... Much to think about)
• That conference is either the last one, or one of the lasts, House attended. And that one was already boring to House without Wilson. 15 years prior to s06e06 "Known Unknowns", can't do the timeline magic I just eyeball it
• House also introduced Wilson to Cuddy pretty soon, since she was a witness to the levels of despair he was apparently in
• House might've pestered Cuddy to hire him, or she chose to do so herself (whenever she was dean). Maybe House chased away some poor oncologist to make an opening. Even if House isn't as obsessed with Wilson at the start of season 1, he's always plotting
• There's the brother thing too. Wilson still fresh out of med school, still divorcing, still guilty af and looking for the brother in Princeton, so he was happy to work there
• Prior to that, Wilson was working 2 jobs to support himself and Sam and was ready to follow her to Baltimore
• The divorce and meeting House happened in 1991, the same year USSR completely fell apart. Just thought I'll throw that in #educational
• Wilson was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total
• Marriage #1 has only lasted 1 year
• That means every marriage House was present for has lasted longer #math
• Wilson found a way to get fulfilled while in the marriage
• Now he's got a needy bitch with infinite problems and who will slurp any poison he has to siphon
• I'd argue House is what made Wilson bearable at home
• At the same time, House is what kept Wilson away from home, ultimately contributing to the divorce
• Wilson himself describes his marriages as crappy - he doesn't really need help destroying them. House still helps~✨
• Timeline gets wonky, but there couldn't have been much of a downtime between marriages, a couple of years max
• "Fell in love at the wedding" - whatever the fuck that means for Wilson
• Either Wilson met Sam through that wedding, and she also aimed to work in medicine - how they've connected. Or they went there as a couple, both being med students? Got high on emotions and jumped into marriage
• Wilson speedruns relationships once he's in them, so it could've gone "hey that was a nice wedding, how about we have our own?"
• He fucking sucks at proposals, his looks and general air of niceness carried him all 3 times, I will not be hearing any objections on the matter
• When Wilson talks to Cameron about cheating. He says, "I have (cheated). I always told them"
• "Them"
• It's could've been every marriage (#1, #2 and #3). If boy managed to sneak in cheating in his 1-year lightning marriage #1, while he was studying + 2 jobs (now I don't doubt his time management skills, but it's still a hassle. On the other hand, all that stress couldn't have been helping)
• Or it could be #1 and #2, or #1 and #3. But #3 is pretty much a certainty (he flirts with nurses on screen, House is also there), and it's "them", so why would he randomly stop in the middle? Don't think so
• What's most likely is - #2 and #3. When arguing with Sam (#1) again she didn't mention or allude to the cheating, her problem was that Wilson didn't communicate ANY emotions to her, she even admitted to House she made the most mistakes in that marriage, let's say there's some truth in that
• Wilson either didn't tell Sam about cheating, she didn't have a problem with it, or he lied to Cameron
• OR he didn't cheat on Sam
• He started to cheat after the first divorce AND his marriages started to last longer, which is funnier too
• He could've started cheating prior to House entering the picture, but much more likely - after. Divorce and/or House are the cause
• Speaking of. Meeting House is very tightly linked to the #1 divorce. Every time Wilson would think back on it, he would have to think about all the turmoil and getting bailed by House. And vice versa - every time he'd think back on meeting House...
• "I met someone who made me feel funny. And I didn't want to let that feeling go." Another Cameron talk. Ur honor, there's something on that wall
• btw, he is STILL married while meeting House, so if you hilson 1st-night-fuck truther, that meeting is his cheater origin story in a more practical sense. He then could've really meant all the marriages, but then he lied about telling Sam/Cameron, he might not count it since he's divorcing to tell Sam
• Ultimately, he's a huge liar, and I'm wasting my time. What I'm saying - nothing is really off the table with this guy in terms of hcs
• Aftermaths of #2 and #3 aren't really talked about like #1. It must've been really nuclear
• House says neither of them recovered from (#1) divorce to Wilson's face, Wilson doesn't contest that in any way. Even tho House didn't know Wilson before the divorce he usually right on the money with these things
• After the divorce #2 Wilson got 3 legged cat
• After failing to secure marriage #4 (#1 part 2) he got a diabetic cat
• Just like the thing he has with missing phone calls, after every divorce, consciously or not, he might expect a savior to bail him out
• After and during #3 he crashed at House's, then surfed hotels, then moved in with a dying patient, then Amber's, then House moved in with him (still Amber's)
• Maybe his wives kept taking properties in the divorce, and he just stopped getting them
• Man frankly didn't have a home for a while (HOMELESS BUT NOT HOUSELESS)
• Then Wilson finally commits and gets the place for himself and House, from Bonnie (#2)
• Wilson adamantly remains on good terms with his ex-wives (but not random exes. One helps House with a prank, House kept tabs bc of course)
• But Wilson thinks they hate him. Did he ever pay attention to them?
• While spending all the time with House, then cheating, telling his wives about it, Wilson gave them more attention and emotions to delay the divorce
• He also learned how not to get attached in marriage, to not get destroyed by the divorce (excellent gambit if you expect your marriage to fail)
• He has a better support system now too. Can't believe House is your support system, fucking lmao and ouch. Cuddy is his only other friend we see, maybe Stacy at some point (he kept in touch with after the incident)
• All his other friends and family we hear next to nothing about, at best they're surface level
• In season 5 he's only visited by the coworkers/House's team + Cuddy <- all that is pretty much House's tolerance circle
• House is pathetic, but Wilson is something else entirely
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Desperate
Tw: prepared for suicide
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The door to their hiding place breached and Whumpee sprang up from a light sleep, scrambling through the darkened rooms of the abandoned house hoping to find somewhere to remain out of sight. Eyes darted about in a panic and they snatched the first available thing that resembled a weapon. A pair of scissors.
They slunk down in a far, dark corner of the room, scissors in hand. If they were spotted they could just-- they would have to--!
Fight? No. Weakened by days on the run, by hunger, by their injuries, they knew they didn't stand a chance.
They took a deep breath and opened the scissors, resting the blade against the side of their throat. They weren't going back. They weren't! They knew exactly what was waiting for them. And it was way worse than this.
Heavy footsteps echoed up through the stairwell, getting closer to the room.
Whumpee's gaze was determined, but their eyes were empty. As if they'd already taken that first step over the threshold and life merely clung to their body.
The door creaked open and beams of light entered the room, followed by two men, cautiously stepping around, whispering.
Whumpee slunk back into their corner, praying the flashlight would brush past them, that they would be one with darkness. They didn't make a sound, their breathing oddly calm, their eyes following the men around.
And one of them spotted them. They looked at each other for a second. And then he noticed the scissors against their throat.
"No, no, no, wait! Don’t! Don't!" the man shouted, waving his hands. He fell to his knees and held out a hand, as if they were a wild animal to be kept at bay. "Don't. Please," he said more calmly this time. "We're here to help."
A bit of life returned to their eyes. Hope mixed with a fair bit of suspicion, mingling in a blend of despair. They stared at the man, their hand trembling but tightening around the blade of the scissors. Blood trickled down over the palm of their hand but they barely felt it.
"Please," the man said again. His eyes widened, gaze following the drops of blood. He quickly glanced up again, looking Whumpee in the eyes, and shuffled a little closer, inch by inch, hand held out. "We're not here to hurt you."
Whumpee mewled, torn. The dull blade bit their skin. It hurt. It already hurt so bad. Fear held their hand back, not daring to press the blade deeper. Desperate hope filled their chest. Maybe... maybe they wouldn't have to do this?
"Please, your team is looking for you," the man said, nudging forward.
And Whumpee broke. Tears streamed down their face, dripping from their chin. Hope won. They shuffled over on their knees, dropped the scissors, and fell into the man’s arms. Hands wrapped around his neck, clawed in his shirt, and they sobbed against his shoulder.
"It’s okay," he shushed, brushing a hand over the back of their head. "It’s okay."
He waited patiently until the fingers clamped in his shirt relaxed, until the sobbing died down. Gently untangling himself from Whumpee's grip, he held them by the shoulders, nodded at them in question and held out a hand.
A trembling hand slid into his palm, accepting the offer, and he slowly pulled them up to their feet.
He smiled at them.
Then his hand was on their wrist and as they stood straight, he spun them around, forced their wrist halfway up their back. A metal click followed.
"Sucker," he chuckled.
The bright feeling of hope in their chest popped. It sank like lead into their stomach, transforming to an intense fear and Whumpee completely froze up.
The man caught them as their knees gave out. "Someone is willing to part with a lot of money to get you back. Alive."
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General whump tag list: @firewheeesky @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @whumpawink @painsandconfusion @whumpifi @auroragehenna
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