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#would definitely go berserk mode and can't control herself
verxsyon · 6 months
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canon compliant ptn. chief!gn!reader
! contains major character death ! 
hey, what’s up? finally started playing ptn. does angst exist in the ptn writing community? if it doesn’t, lemme introduce myself— /shot. 
as i was saying! i finished chapter 3 so i don’t know much about the lore yet. but something came to my mind the last few days since i finished it. okay, sinners are unshackled if the sinner themselves die or if the chief dies. zoya wondered about the chief’s shackles, one of which being the side effects, and even the chief doesn’t know the content behind their own powers (amnesiac protagonist amirite).
so this is my idea: what happens if you, the chief, dies? the sinners you shackled finally gained freedom, but why does it feel so empty? and as time went on, their unconscious reactions of grief, sadness, and other negative things that are indescribable caused their mania levels to spike, losing control over their powers and themselves, to the point where they start to hallucinate you being alive.
they hallucinate an alternate reality, maybe a dream. in one life, you and them are strangers. in another, you’re friends. in another, you’re lovers. in another, your relationship with them could be something else. why do their hearts ache when they see you? shouldn’t they feel overjoyed that they have control of their own powers back? to kill you over and over again, the cause of their misery, without the shackles holding them back? but, why is it…regret? should’ve they done something to prevent your death?
when they call your name, depending on your relationship with them in that alternate universe, either you’ll give them a confused look but ask for their name, give them a hug, or kiss their face. and when the dream ends, when they soon succumb to madness of mania, the grief, sadness, and pain finally hit them. they want you to call their name so many times they won’t forget, to hold them a little bit longer to feel their warmth, and to take your breath away as if their lives depended on it. afterwards their mania peaks. their dreamworld starts to fall apart, and you’ve become transparent, slowly vanishing from their memory. 
as they inch closer to death, they can feel your presence enveloping them. it’s warm and safe, as if death never came knocking on their door at all. as their consciousness drift away into nothingness, all they can hear are muffled noises, except one: your voice. in that moment, they found you in a field of flowers (the scene in the beginning of the game), in another place of existence where their darkness can’t reach.
“see you in heaven, those who have sinned.”
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dingoat · 2 years
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ASKS: For AHUSKA: 3, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14,17, 20
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*cracks knuckles*
3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?
HONESTLY? I've never thought a great deal about it, and so in my head her voice is really just very much my own. Her accent might lean a little more toward New Zealand than my own, because I imagine Temuera-style-Mando'a would be what she heard most while growing up, except her Mando parents had vastly different origins again, and her earliest speaking years would have been spent listening to Bothese, and then for maybe a year or two very well spoken Basic. So, it's sort of a soft blur of all those influences.
In general she's reasonably shy, self conscious and soft spoken, and her tone reflects that, but her ability to control and adjust her voice is actually pretty impressive, owed to her work with all sorts of animals over the years and the need to adjust her entire demeanour depending on what she's working with. It's quite a thing to see for someone who's only ever known her in polite social settings!
She loves to sing, but again is self conscious about it, an alto who will comfortably drop to many tenor parts. She'd never claim her voice to be pretty or worth listening to on its own, but she's got a good ear, can stay in tune and harmonise well enough. Her ability to whistle is fairly pathetic and she definitely relies on an actual whistle when doing her animal work, and she can't roll her r's to save herself- but she can growl.
8. What’s it like inside your oc’s mind? (Literally, or metaphorically.)
Vivid, joyful, melancholy, constantly narrated or filled with music or imagined conversations or dwelling on the past or daydreaming about the future. She is very easily distracted by her thoughts and quite prone to letting her mind wander where it will. She loves to find beauty in the world but has very low self esteem, so there's always a war between joy and sadness going on in there.
9. What are your oc’s goals for the future? Relationship-wise, career-wise, or other?
Regular mode Ahuska is at a bit of an impasse; she's helped her Deserter buddies literally colonise a whole new planet of their very own, but now, after everything, with a sanctuary to hide away in and the option of relative peace stretched out and beckoning, she's found herself restless and uncertain. Her immediate goal is to secure a new ship with Crow, a worthy successor to Home which is otherwise a smouldering wreck on Taris. She would like to get back in touch with friends across the galaxy she hasn't had the freedom to contact in a while, but she's also scared to, knowing what she now knows of herself, wondering if she's obligated to let anyone she's close to in on the fact that she's Force Sensitive. She struggles to look too far ahead, and has no idea what she truly wants for herself in the long term.
Werewolf Ahuska struggles just as much with goals for the future, though her immediate goals are a lot more urgent and consuming. She will not rest, or allow herself to work toward anything else, until Blakk is better. No question, no compromise. She longs, desperately, for a future with him, but constantly convinces herself that it is not to be, especially not now that she must learn to wield the Force. She also wants to be in full control of herself, she wants to understand why she goes berserk, she wants to be deconditioned to her code phrase, she wants to be able to enjoy being a wolf without all the fear and anxiety that comes with it. She wants to experience life without fear, feeling loved and safe, but those wants of hers feel pale and shallow and selfish after all the terror she herself has caused and she considers them all the lowest of priorities at the moment.
10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?
I have ANSWERED THIS in a previous ask, but to go into a little more detail with werewolf girl specifically; she bottles up a lot. A LOT. Blakk, of course, is her go-to, but she probably keeps in a whole lot at the moment, partly because he's incapable of actually properly conversing at the moment, and partly because he's wrapped up so tightly in a lot of her sadness and anger that she just doesn't want to make things worse by bringing anything up. She might have a little luxury right now to talk with Crow and Thirteen, but she's still mostly of the inclination to remain tight-lipped and keep things inside, and there's just no way she'd really turn to anyone else to open up because she can't talk plainly about any of the things she's been through or what she's still going through. Her avenues for social interaction are sorely limited and she feels it intensely.
11. Does your oc have any interests/hobbies that they hide from everyone? Why do they hide these interests?
I mean. Aside from wanting to run and fly around with absolute reckless abandon being a wolf monster, rolling in dirt and eating weird things and just generally living exactly in the moment? Which she definitely very actively keeps secret as a matter of personal safety?
She really doesn't have anything that she explicitly keeps secret. Her self consciousness and poor self image definitely impact how readily she shares anything; she doesn't let just anyone go poking through her sketchbook, but that has more to do with her feeling as though her little scrawls and scribbles aren't worth looking at, or are too personal, than her actively wanting to hide the fact that she likes to draw.
14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?
Oh she would get herself onto Dromund Kaas and murder the hell out of Five.
(Ahaha and depending how things go, @vespertine-legacy ...?? Perhaps Tulia as well. XD Maybe even dear Zhorrid, who knows? Why not just cut loose and tear into every Imperial she can sink her teeth into?)
17. If your oc had a social media page, what would it be like? What would they post about? How much personal information would they feel comfortable posting on it? How often would they update it?
Already answered in previous ask! Except as a werewolf she's EVEN MORE EXTRA PARANOID and wouldn't touch any social media with a thousand foot pole. >.> Apparently it's bad enough that she has a couple of PHONE NUMBERS that she doesn't want to let go of.
20. What’s a superpower or magical ability that this oc would hate having?
OH YOU MEAN LIKE THE ONE SHE HAS?? The one she has and hates having and wishes she didn't have and wishes she didn't have to learn how to use? You mean THAT SUPER MAGICAL ABILITY POWER????
Quite specifically though, when it comes to Force business, Ahuska can't stand anything remotely resembling mind tricks or thought control or messing around in people's (or animals') heads. She is deeply, profoundly averse to the idea in every possible iteration and does not yet know enough about nurturing skills in the Force to understand that it's not something she will just suddenly be able to do; she doesn't properly realise yet that she has plenty of choice about what abilities she wishes to use and train in and excel at.
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