Something about sad man belting in regret

He took the midnight train goin' anywhere...

Connor didn't really know where he was, and honestly he didn't care. All that mattered was that he wasn't home... The idea of home made him scoff, but he kept on, clinging to his bookbag straps with both hands as he looked around, trying to decide where he was going to sleep, as night was coming on rather quickly. The idea of sleeping outside wasn't ideal, but somehow, it was preferable to what he was sure must be loathing in the Murphy house... no sister or parents to bother him here... He gave a shiver and pulled his hoodie tighter around him. He was sure they hadn't even noticed he was gone.

@w-o-r-d-s--f-a-i-l

Why are the notes on that post so hostile? I made a suggestion, I didn't commit a war crime! It's not as if anyone has found a perfect way to fund all of this stuff, I just wanted to find a solution agreeable to everyone.

The reasons why you in general and this idea of yours in particular get so much hostility are, notably:

Your views on trans people, especially trans women, are not as positive as you seem to believe, and you spread both insulting and harmful ideas.

Your idea of what the human body can do seems driven and primarily informed by fantasies and fetish plots, which offers a target of ridicule and bewilderment. Human milk won't ever be able to repay surgeries - or replace cow dairy, aphrodisiacs do not exist, and if they did you'd be using chemically-induced distress as a compliance method.

When the first and second points co-occur it also specifically gives the reader an acute awareness of how fetish and trans women inherently meld together in your mind, which is damning.

You are suggesting indentured servitude with debt/debt relief as both carrot and stick, plus "let's ensure compliance with chastity devices and chemicals" as a supposedly humane alternative to... debt. That's not only not agreeable, it's monstrous.

You're both-sidesing "trans people should be forbidden from transition" with "trans people's healthcare should be publicly funded". Considering the group stating the first idea is simultaneously advocating against trans people's every right and the group stating the second rarely if ever considers their own healthcare conceptually separate from everyone else's, you're really pitting and both-sidesing the opinion derived from "genocide is good" vs. the one derived from "healthcare is a human right". Ultimately, you're reducing a situation where both exist as "a political kerfuffle" to be solved with induced lactation and stuff you find in sex shops. See again points 1 to 3.

The "swiftly privatised" thing is at worst a mayonnaise-and-wonderbread deal and at best Thatcherite. Aside from the fact for-profit private organisations treat their figurative cash cows, and in the case of your idea literal cash cows, much less humanely than state-led... consider how wrong must one go that their ideas are at best Thatcherite.

On top of all else, there appears to be some great misapprehension of how economics work. Even if you did produce enough human milk to stock the shelves in every store, there simply isn't the demand.

This pattern of bad models of what people want, rank disregard for consent in fetishy scenarios, outlandish unworkable ideas that you insist are not porn plots but only seem logical with smut goggles and a stiff drink, and generally displeasing approaches to sensitive political issues that, in real life, affect people's lives, earned you at first a mocking nickname then widespread scorn. It should alarm you that the current situation is not a special event but rather the accumulation of a sentiment over a repeated pattern.

Ok so this will likely go nowhere and no one will care but I overheard someone say that Words Fail was just Evan throwing a pity party and I just cannot. Yes we can criticise Evan and what he did, yes the show has faults, but that damn show made me feel seen. That song made me feel known. There is a huge part of me that relates to Words Fail, and every time it's on it is just an experience.

Evan got stuck in a lie, one he didn't feel able to deny at the start. Yes he went too far and jeez he could have at least tried to keep his distance, but he suddenly had everything he wanted and they were all trauma bonding.

Words Fail just captures that moment of realisation. There are so many moments in it that breaks me heart.

He never meant to let it go on that far. He knows there's no explaination, not way to make it make sense, because it doesn't. He knows that. He justified it to himself, saying they were all happy, that he was at least honouring their memory of Connor. It was a sad invention, something good in his shitty life that he held onto. It was selfish and so misguided but he is a kid and kids struggle in the best days, let alone someone with social anxiety and someone suicidal.

I'd rather pretend I'm something better than these broken part, pretend I'm something other than this mess that I am. When I tell you the actual gut punch this gave me the first time. I sobbed. I couldn't help it. I spent years as a teenager holding onto the idea that I could pretend to be better, pretend to be normal and I lied about myself. We all do it. I pretended I had more friends, pretended I was liked and not just a sad, lonely person.

Would they like what they saw, or would they hate it too. This shattered and scattered the already breaking parts of me. Hitting that nerve I had thought I had hidden away. That deep fear of people hating the real me, the one I had worked so hard on.

Evan is such a flawed person, a broken person, and honestly, I fully expected the show to end with him committing suicide. Because there is no chance in another life if I was in his shoes that I wouldn't have. You build up such a believe that everyone would hate the real you and let's face it, Evan's whole world falling apart kind of proves him right.

I am so glad the show ended how it did, even if it felt a little bittersweet and almost lacking. Connor's family didn't have to keep what Evan did a secret, but they did, and Evan did start working on himself. It's not perfect, and it isn't happy, but it is hopeful, which is a lot to a suicidal person.

So no, no part of me can say it's Evan throwing a pity party for himself because it reflects some of my darkest moments too closely. It is written so much like a suicide note and it is something that is too close to home. Yes, Evan screwed up, but he was a broken kid with so many issues.

Have you ever listened to the song "words fail" :0 ?

From Dear Evan Hansen?

I have *feelings* about that musical (largely disappointment) but the music from it is excellent.

I actually really admire words fail from a writers perspective. What are your thoughts? 👁️

Sometimes the words sound dumb or incorrect or incomplete or they don't have the gravity or the depth I need.

Sometimes the words get all messy on the trip from thought to voice and my throat closes or the words fall over my tongue without sound.

Sometimes all I have to offer you is the wet drips from my cunt, the ruined mess of my body, the whispered oath of your name.

Sometimes all I have left to give you are the tears slipping unbidden from my eyes onto your chest in hopes that your skin translates them for your heart.

Look I understand why people hate Dear Evan Hansen so much but there's absolutely no way I just read a TikTok comment that said "words fail from deh tried to be michael in the bathroom so badly"

I'm sorry but... barely anyone knew about BMC till about 2018, there's no way that Pasek & Paul heard Michael in the Bathroom and went:

holy shit perfect song idea

This was just a sad invention It wasn't real, I know But we were happy I guess I couldn't let that go I guess I couldn't give that up I guess I wanted to believe 'Cause if I just believe Then I don't have to see what's really there

Did my heart love 'til now? Foreswear it, sight! For I have ne'er saw true beauty til this night... morning? That doesn't rhyme!

Morris was, to say the least... distracted. It had been a long day already, and morning distribution had just ended. If it had been long already, it was going to be an eternity before he could get home, scarf down some scraps, and then drop back into his bed. For the moment, he was out and about to get a sandwich for him and Os to share because he would make his brother eat no matter what he had to do. Sometimes it was nice to be invisible in the pressing crowds of New York City. He could be anonymous, and that was always something. He spent so much time around people who were afraid of him that it was nice to just be... nothing... for once.

But the problem with being anonymous and allowed to wander with his thoughts was that keeping his focus was never a priority as he numbly dodged through the crowds... so when he ran straight into someone he had never seen coming, he was immediately startled badly enough that he could feel his stutter coming on. "H-hey, 'm s-s-sorry, b-but-" Then he looked up and froze. Somehow, the man he had ran into was the most handsome man he had ever seen. He stayed frozen, his mouth agape as his cheeks heated up in a blush.

@w-o-r-d-s--f-a-i-l

I'm telling you, words fail applies not only to evan but also payton from the politician. its just fact.

listening to ben platt be like

*heart wrenchingly beautiful solo*

*beat of silence*

*immediate snorting like a pig for some reason????*

Florence Kasumba on Instagram.

(Photography: shotby_dianebetties)

@btwxsixesandsevens

Songs that glitch

Sometimes I hear glitches in songs.

And btw, I'm not trying to criticize the artists or producers. I love all of these songs. But glitches are annoying, and I'm just trying to see if there are other people hearing these glitches or if I've lost it.

This list is based on the YouTube and Spotify versions, perhaps there are no glitches on the physical copies of the songs.

vampire by Olivia Rodrigo (2023) - At 1:25, right before it goes "you called them crazy"

Words Fail from Dear Evan Hansen (movie, 2021). At 0:57, while it goes "I never had that perfect girl". I remember watching the movie in the theatre and hearing more than one glitch throughout the son. At the time, I thought it was the audio system's fault but nope, it's on the official album. (honestly, this whole song sounds glitchy to me now that I'm listening back to it)

Madly from Cyrano (movie, 2022) - At 2:27, when it goes "like this"

Daylight by Taylor Swift (2019) - This one is quite obvious. At 4:18 it goes "the things I'm afrai— I'm afraid of" while it should just be "the things I'm afraid of", once.

No Cyrano from Cyrano (movie, 2022) (yes, another one) - at 1:50 when it goes "I won't let you go".