Does Chai have a home to go back to?

At the very beginning of the game, Chai wants to get off the Vandelay campus, but he never says “I want to go home” or something along those lines. He just keeps saying he wants to get off the island.

I don’t know if this is something to point out, and it’s me reading wayyyy too much into things, but with Chai’s tendency to kinda “act younger” you’d think he’d say something like “Ugh, this is so hard! I just wanna go home!” Or “can I go home now?” But he never mentions anything about home. He never even mentions a place to go. He just wants to get off the island.

This may be me projecting onto him about not having a good family and home life, but this is my hyperfixation, damn it!

In the game models, it says how Chai’s a college dropout, and do you ever think that Chai may have gotten kicked out for that? He’s also called a slacker a numerous amount of times in the game. It just leads me to believe that his parents or whoever took care of him really didn’t care for his rockstar dream, so when Chai dropped out for that dream, or possibly just wasn’t great in academics, they kicked him out. It’s like a “If he wants to be a slacker, he can be one somewhere else, not in my damn house” type of deal.

Because if Chai did have a home to go back to, you’d think the ending may have shown something like him calling someone, talking to another person, or maybe writing a simple text and it could have the same camera angle as Macaron when you see him working on CMNM to be able to look down at what he’s texting. A hint that he has a home to go back to. However, he’s not shown anything and never mentions anything.

If Chai never had a home to go back, then the ending just becomes so much more emotional for me because this means he found his home. It’s like a found family story.

And if it’s like a found family story, we can get into how there’s that whole thing about what home really is, and it’s the people and how you feel safe and secure in a place. A home isn’t just a house. A house is simply the vessel one can have as a home, and it can have the elements of what really makes something feel like home, but it’s not home. Home can be anything that makes you feel like you belong, like you’re safe in this place with these people in your environment. You feel safe because of the people you’ve bonded with and care about. Chai has found that home with his friends at the Vandelay campus. He found a place in his little group of misfits, and he sees that he finally has people he can lean onto.

And the song they play at the end, Synesthesia, means a whole lot more because when he’s with his friends at the Vandelay island, he gets to show all of himself to them. He feels that safety to feel everything with them, to be all the colors of himself. He gets to shine as a person and fully embrace his potential because of all the support he had with his friends. And it really gets me going because I’m a sucker for that shit, and I’ll eat it up.

Ugh, I feel like I didn’t make sense with this, but oh well. Tbh, I feel like what I’m saying here is a stretch, and people can have their own interpretations, but I like making up lore (especially sad ones tee hee) for my characters who don’t have one canonically lol

oh yeah. happy 250th anniversary to lafayette and adrienne woohoo!

I have 17 new tabs in Safari for fanfics that I want to reread and fics that are new to me. I am 1000% avoiding every responsibility I have because I am tapped the fuck out. And yes, every fic stars Regina Mills. Fucking sue me.

or maybe there isn’t anything wrong with you. sure there is things to work on, quite a lot, but maybe you, right now, sitting in bed, overthinking the next day, doom scrolling and picking your nails, maybe you aren’t completely wrong. maybe you don’t need fixing. maybe you need love and care. maybe you need a warm bath and a big hug. maybe you just need to dust out the sheets and look out the window and remember you’re looking up at the same sky everyone else is

*me watching The Handmaiden, seeing Hideko put the balls she was punished with lovingly into her girlfriends pussy*

"You reclaim your trauma however you want babes"

This is a long post, so buckle up.

it's an extract from my diary ( totally in dilemma over the fact that I should share it or not, I am sharing it anyway)

If you are ever going to fall in love with me , here are some of the things, you should know beforehand. I cry often. Whether it's during a movie, a song on the radio or a regular friday morning or a book or few lines scribbled somewhere or even my own diary.

I will cry even when I speak of things that have hurted me, even if they no longer hurt anymore. I will cry when I mention all those people who left me, even when I no longer feel the pain. I am afraid of not being good enough. I am afraid of people being dishonest to me especially the ones I care about. I will tell you every single ways in which I hate myself and not believe a single word you say when you disagree with each and every reason. You can tell me you will stay countless times, but I will still be afraid of you leaving me. You can tell me you love me and I will still be afraid that it might all be lies. Don't blame yourself. I have to expect the worst, because I always get the worst.

When I fall in love with you, I will love every curve, every mole, every freckle, every shiver, every scar of your body. I will love each crack in your skin and every freckle of light in your eyes. I will fall in love with the way you look doing some mundane activity.

I will fall in love with the way you sleep and the way your eyes shine bright when you wake up next to me. I will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I will fall in love with the way your mouth curves when you say my name. I can be difficult to love, but for me loving you will always be so easy. All I ask is you don't give upon me, and in return I will never give upon you and i will love you with my entire heart. And even if one day you decide to leave me, I will still think highly of you. I will still remember your beautiful soul. I will still remember the kind hearted person you are.

my kitty is so pretty 😭

every time i download a .doc and Word asks ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ENABLE EDITING THERE MIGHT BE A VIRUS and i say ENABLE thats like unprotected sex to me

Y’all ever think about how Chai wants to be a rockstar because he wants people to like him?

Being famous would be an easy to get people to like him, praise him, and make him feel wanted and cared for. But now that he has Peppermint and the others, I feel like he’d have a change of heart about being a rockstar.

Chai would definitely still make music, but it’s not about being a big famous rockstar anymore. It would be more about just making music because he likes it, and he can finally be able to play like he always wanted.

He doesn’t really strive for that big rockstar dream anymore because now he’s got what he always wanted with Peppermint and the others, which are people that love and care for him. He’s finally got the right people in his life to make him see that he doesn’t need to be a big and important public figure to have friends and feel loved and wanted by them.

But idk, maybe I’m giving this lovable idiot too much credit and he’d still go big or go home with his rockstar dream. This is just some food for thought if anyone wants it, and it’s also just me over analyzing things because I like to make things deeper then a they need to be. Especially for a game like this where I feel like things really don’t go that deep.

why did i make my last post-

The texaid poll I put together a few weeks ago resulted in both bots being switches, which I fucking LOVE, and I’ve got some thoughts to go with it:

I love the variety and potential behind both partners being switches. Let’s say First Aid tops during sex, then he bottoms during aftercare, and vice versa.

Mixing kinks in. Vortex is a sub when it comes to petplay, but he’s a dom/top when they’re using ropes or other bondage devices. Think about how interesting that would be to put the two together! Or… maybe he’s wanting to top for both! The options are endless, really.

Maybe there’s certain kinks where they feel like they ARE exclusively in charge or extra subby. Maybe, depending on the kink, it varies!

There’s so much intimacy, so much communication, that goes into it, and having the two of them being switches makes that twice as important. It’s exciting, in a way, because it makes for lots of potential to explore via rant posts or 5k one-shots, but there’s so much there and that’s what I like about it.

I just love texaid, and I appreciate all the votes that went into the poll, because it really helped me determine how special their relationship is and could be 😌

Wouldn’t it be the perfect world if the morning never came, the alarm clock never rang and we could spend eternity wrapped in the embrace?

- Lady With A Handbook