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flowerkcal · 2 years

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haha vnet

oh god what the hell should o do im fucked i ruined everything in my life and i wont ever get happy and everyone is going to leave me and im a burden to everyone and when i tell them im sad its just to make them feel sorry for me im such a horrible person why do people even talk to me im so awful i absolutely hate myself how can a human being be so fucking stupid and selfish and acutally just fucked up. literally my whole life is ruined already it started when i was a kid im literally only growing up im not even an adult why is everything so fucked i cant make it past 25 if it contiunes like this im acutally so dead how is this all even possible i hope they text me i miss them i absolitely fucked our friendship im the worst friend ever its all my fault how can i even look in the mirror i dont even deserve to have friends this is so messed up i dont want to be like this how can i change i feel so bad about myself im so pittyfull how can i live like this im so tired of this shit i bet they hate me im absolutely just like my father im so narcicistic and i dont care about other peopoe everaything i do is just to justify my selfish actions im acutally such a horribel person i need to drink i need to forget all of this i literally need alcohol like literally give me a bottle of vodka ill ex that literlly please i need it im so horrible i know all of this is hurting me this is so bad why dont i like myself why am i not dead alreasdy i cant even kms the right way im such a pussy this is absolute disgusting im disgusting i hate myself i hope they dont seee me the way i see myself im so annoying ihope no one ever talks to me again please they called me dramatic im actually so fuckign dramatic why am i like this ii cant do this someone fucking save me im literlly so fucked i hate this i hate everyting im so tired of this bullshit there is nothing good about this shithole of a fucking world everyone hates me i really dont deserve all of this my life is over i cant continue like this i lterally hate all of this sm im so disgusting i cant even live the right way i have/had sm addichtions im not even an adult i hate myself this is so horrible pelase someone just shut me up but plwase dont hate me i acttualy need you like dont leave me alone please tect me i need you i cant to do this on my own its absolutely terrrible im an awful friend and i cant continue like this im so horrible i cant to this anymore i hate myself i hate myself why do they hate my please dont hate me please pelas efor the love of god im crying please dont leave me

#asuka kinnie

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officalaizawa003 · 3 years

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Give up pt 3

After being healed up aizawa was forced into the dorms with mic. "Hey sho...you okay?"

"You keep calling me sho...who is that?"

"...Someone from my past...Im sorry, what is your name?"

"Eraserhead I think...ever since I havent been taking my pills Ive been forgetting alot of things...like who I was before a few days ago...

"Oh yeah? What do those pills do.."

Aizawa opened his mouth to speak then stopped.

"I dont have to tell you shit!"

"Well you've been telling me "shit" for the past 5 minutes so just contiune."

"Fuck you!"

"Eraserhead, stop it."

" Get away from me!" Aizawa swung his heavy cuffs towards mic who dodged but the wall did not.

"hey hey! Calm down!"

Aizawa swung again and mic jumped over him and but him a chokehold. "Sho stop and listen to me. Your gonna be fine. No one will hurt you. I promise."

"You make alot of promises...can you keep them all hero?"

"I can and will. Now please calm down."

Aizawa took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay"

"Now what do those pills do."

"They help me keep my current memories. If i dont take them every 4 hours my head starts to hurt and everything gets fuzzing and weird thoughs come into my head."

"Hmm well-"

"In fact, telling by that clock I have to take them in about 10 minutes."

"Its okay. You'll be fine. Now I'll let you go but you gotta promise to behave."

"I promise..."

Mic let him go and looked down. In thought. He stayed like that for 10 minutes until he started groaning. "My head hurts..."

"Im sorry you have to stay like this. I wanna test something"

"P-please give me my pills..."

"Just for 20 more minutes...okay?"

Aizawa groaned and even at one point tried hitting himself with the cuffs but he couldnt lift it above his head. After 20 minutes he stood up, looked at mic, and gave him a nice long kiss before sitting back down. "Sho?"

"Z-zashi...? Help..."

"Wait what?" He stroked the side of aizawa's face. "No more pills...dont give them to me...No matter what I say please just-Shut up dont talk! Please stop! I cant take it! I dont want pills! We need pills...Please..."

"Slow down. Come with me if you really are shouta." Mic stuck out his hand to aizawa which aizawa took. Mic led aizawa to the teachers lounge. Midnight flinched. "Hes not suppose to be here you know that mic!"

"I know just listen to him!" Mic nodded to aizawa.

"M-midnight please help me...It all hurts.."

All the teachers stopped what they were doing when Aizawa said Midnights name. Nezu turned around.

"What did you say?"

"Oh nezu! Please whatever those guys say, dont give me anymore pills! P-please! I dont want to forget you guys forever... No we need pills. Give me pills! NOW!! NO! Stop please. Nezu, sir, I beg you keep me far away from everyone. Im dangerous!" Aizawa got on his knees and put his head down on the ground. "Please...I dont wanna hurt anyone. Just dont give me ANY pills and keep me away from weapons and people..."

Everyone was shocked.

"How do we know this isnt a trap..?"

"If this is a trap, I give any and all of you permission to stab me to death or shoot me so many times in the head, god wont realize its me..." Aizawa looked up. " And tell eri I love her.."

That sealed the deal. Aizawa had been fighting this all along.

"Wait so what did those pills do to you?" Nezu said.

"They kept the false memories of whatever those guys told me in my brain. And if I take the entire bottle, my origanal memories will be gone forever. And although my head is killing me, Just dont give me ANY medince or it might trigger the effects of the memory pills."

This is gonna be hard to deal with.

#kinda angsty #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #erasermic #present mic #yamada hizashi #nemuri kayama #principal nezu #erasermic angst #angst mha

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daikaashisthighs · 4 years

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Confession// Tsukishima Kei

He tried to keep his cool careless demeanor but you can tell he’s flustered. He just looks down at you (because he’s a fucking giant and is probably 1ft taller than you) suprised by your sudden cofession. This boy will literally just stand there for a minute to process what the fuck just happened. As soon as the gears start turning in his head, you can see a small smirk appear on his lips. “Hmmm, is that so?” s/c shyly nodded, ready to run away. As she was about to walk away, he grabbed her hand and told her to wait for her after practice. Poor s/o doesnt know what that means and she freaks out internally.

She waited for a few hours for Tsukki to finish practice. Tsukki invited her to wait inside the gym but she refused knowing her heart wont stop beating out of her chest. She settled outside the gym and literallt stared into the ground thinking of all possible ways Tsukki would turn her down or maybe embarrass her in front of his team. She didnt expect Tsukki to return any sort of feelings because he’s never really shown any interest in her but she couldnt keep it in anymore. She didn’t want to lose their friendship although she felt like it was a one way friendship. Tsukki just usually listens to her ramble on about ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING but from time to time he’d tease her or make a stupid remark. His company is something you treasure and enjoy.

During those 3-3 1/2 hours, he’d constantly check on you and makes sure you were doing fine. When he realized practice will be running late, he told you to go on ahead and go home. You insited on stay and waiting for him. Of course Tsukkie being a stubborn dino that he is wouldnt let you. He was afraid your parents would get worried or you could possibly get introuble. You explained that your living by yourself and your parents live abroad and he reluctantly agreed. He once again asked you to wait for him inside the gym bc it was getting chilly. You declined and he gave you his jacket to keep warm. BUTTERFLIES ARE FLYING AROUND IN YOUR STOMACH. You told yourself to calm down bc you didnt want to get your hopes up. I mean why would Tsukishima Kei fall for a girl like you. Nothing stands out about you, you dont have anything to offer him and your looks is just average. You shooks those thoughts out of your head and tried to focus on something else. You took out your phone and watched netlix. You couldnt help but smell his jacket and fall totally in love with his scent. You hugged yourself, feeling like Tsukki is actually hugging you. You couldnt help but hope to have the chance to be in his arm. Your eyes started drooping and you leaned agaisnt the cold wall, falling asleep.

You woke up feeling someone poke your cheeks. You were quite annoyed and was about to give that person a piece of your mind but when open your eyes and met his, you instantly melted. You felt embarrased having fallen asleep outside, practically hugging his jacket. Little did you know, he found it adorable. A small smile even crept into his lips when he saw you. Before you could say anything, he offered you a hand which you accepted and started walking towards your house.

The first few minutes, no words were said and you were walking ahead of him to try and avoid his rejection. Neither of you knew what to say or how to start the conversation. You felt as if, you waited for him for hours just so he could walk you home. You were disappointed and kind of upset. Although you didnt want to be rejected, its better than not knowing. The walk felt painfully slow and awkward. It’s rare for the both of you to feel this awkward silence. You were approaching your house and he still hasnt said a word. You took that as a sign of rejection or a way for tsukki to say his goodbye. You expected him to never talk to you again. You felt like a fool having confessed your feelings for him and ruin your friendship with him.

You reached your front door, you turned to see if tsukki’s still with you. You thought he left bc he was walking behind you and hasnt said a word. Turns out, he’s still there. Once your eyes met, all you could do was apologize. “I’m sorry. It’s okay if you dont want me to be in your life anymore” shit, tears started falling down your face but you contiuned pouring your heart out. “I couldnt help it. I’m sorry I fell for you. I really wish I hadnt so everything could get back to normal.” you looked at him hoping to get a response but nothing. His face is still unamused. “You know what tsukishima, I’m not sorry. This is all your fault. Its your cute faces fault. You made me fall in love with your stupid little quirks. Your annoying gestures and ugh don’t get me started with your voice. How did you now expect me to fall in love when your laugh sound like music to my ears. And those eyes UGH. They make me weak to my knees. Your addiction to dinosaurs, it makes me think of having kids with you and dressing them up in dino costumes just to see you smile. Everything about you, I love and I know I sound crazy right now but I wanted you know this before you go.” somehow tears started pouring down your face. Your hands clutched into a fist and Tsukki noticed your knuckle turning white. He grabbed your hand and looked at you. “I’m sorry Tsukki, I just wanted you to know how loved you are. No one reminds you enough how much of a gem you are. Whoever will own your heart is the luckiest girl in the world” You snatched your hand away from his and walked inside your house, shutting your door, leaving Tsukki outside.

It took Tsukki a minute to process your outburst. His tongue felt numb. He couldnt say a word. He wanted to tell you he felt the same way but his tongue wouldnt let him and on top of that you didnt give him time to respond. His head was spinning, he didnt know how to react to someone loving all of him, including his flaws. He couldnt understand how it was possible for a girl likeyou to fall for him. He felt as if he was dreaming or this was some cruel prank. He couldnt believe how you felt about him. Shit clicked and he realized how you felt like you were rejected. Tsukki’s interally beating himself up for not clearing it up but he was shocked and nervous.

He rung the doorbell hoping you would answer but nothing. He was freaking out. He really wanted to see you and tell you how he feels but you werent answering the door. He was contemplating smashing the windows or something. Finally, you answered the door and he immidietly pulls you into a hug. You stayed like that for a while, enjoying the feel of being in his arms. You look down at her, seeing her eyes red and puffy from crying. He hated himself for being the reason why you felt heartbroken. He cupped your cheeks, slowly leaned down kissing you gently. As soon as he met your soft lips, he instantly melted. He couldnt help but smile into the kiss. “You’re such an idiot” he mummbled. Your brained stopped working once he kissed you. “Next time, let me talk okay?” he said softly. “I’m sorry you felt rejected, I was just trying to gather my thoughts and find the right thing to say.” “I’m sorry i jumped into conclusion tsukki, I didnt think you could ever like a girl like me:” You confessed. Tsukki sighed and said “You’re right, I couldn never love a girl you” he paused. You could physically feel your heart break into a million pieces. “It’s because I already love you idiot” He pulled you into a hug and kissed your forehead “Please don’t ever cry again okay? I’m not worth a single tear of yours” “I love you” you mumbled. “I love you more”

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chubbyooo · 5 years

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Blurred Lines : Chapter 3 - Ashara

yay chapter 3 continuing the plot line in chapter one, this one’s a long one

Kyradia talks to an old friend (i wonder who it could be *looks at title*) and has to face some of her own flaws

As Ashara turned around her face turned from a calm smile to a frown. “Kyradia how did you get this contact this is supposed to be for emergencies only” she looked furious no wonder to be honest.

emergencies? Kavaraa had failed to tell her about that context, oh god what was she supposed to say this was all a big mistake she didn’t know what to do but she had to say something Ashara was just stood there looking all angry, hands on her hips those narrowed eyes like Kyradia had just suggested a crazy plan.

“well” she said impatiently Kyradia realized she had been silent for over thirty seconds.

“um hi Ashara i uh just wanted to um first of all apologize for what happened on Voss” oh god why was this so hard Kyradia had given speeches to the galaxy before, this was her old apprentice once one of her greatest friends oh right that’s why, she cared a lot more about Asharas opinion.

“oh really you wan’t to apologize now, you seemed pretty clear on your opinion back on Voss” Ashara said her face was all angry and scrunched up god this was gonna be a hard sell.

“yeah i wasn’t really thinking straight at the time and i made a mistake i’m really sorry” that seemed good right, it was the truth after all.

“you tried to SHOCK me” she said raising her voice oh god yep there it is, is there any way to salvage this Kyradia thought, her mind was racing as she tried to think of ways to justify her actions as anything other than cruel which it really was “give me one good reason why i shouldn’t hang this call up right now” oh god it’s do or die just say what you’re thinking be honest.

Kyradia sighed here we go “look... i get jealous of good people they make me feel like i’m inadequate and that i can’t become better. I take it out on them instead of realizing i’m angry at myself” is the truth working Ashara was listening but still seemed angry “and when i saw you so grown up and like a proper Jedi i felt like you had outgrown me and didn’t need me anymore. I didn’t want to lose you so i tried to bring you down to my level by trying to expose your flaws and in turn that made me lose you” wow i don’t think i even knew that about myself before now she thought “i understand if you want to hang up this call and never speak to me again but i needed closure” she paused “that’s one of the reasons i called”

Ashara seemed taken aback her eyes were wide and she no longer seemed so mad “i uh i didn’t realize you felt like that” she looked away from Kyradia holding her arm “how do i know you’re not just trying to manipulate me again”

Kyradia knew the only way to get he to believe her was to let her choose “because if you hang up now i wont pursue it any further I've made my peace i hope you understood it but it’s up to you not me” Ashara actually looked like she smiled for just a second oh thank god for the first time during the call Kyradia relaxed.

“ i’m sorry i judged you so harshly on Voss i didn’t mean to make you feel bad i honestly hoped you’d be proud of me” Ashara looked kinda embarrassed this must be fixed immediately Kyradia thought suddenly knowing exactly what to say.

“ok you have nothing to be sorry about this is entirely my fault and of course i’m proud of you, look at you your everything you ever wanted to be how could i not be proud” at that Ashara went red and looked away clearly overwhelmed .

“thanks master” she said with a shy smile.

“no please don’t call me master call me Kyradia or Ky if you’re so inclined” Kyradia grinned she felt the best she felt in weeks ever since Ossus she couldn’t get these things off her mind her head finally felt clear.

“ok Kyradia” Ashara said rather stnted and awkward “you said this wasn’t the only reason you called” Ashara had sat down now her calm warm smile had returned, Kyradia hadn’t seen that in 7 years. But now she had to go back into the less positive stuff.

“right well i made a similar mistake recently with a close friend she got angry at me for making a bad call and i retaliated” Kyradia put her head in her hands as she talked “now we’re not talking”

“ok i see, but what does this have to do with me” Ashara looked stern again Kyradia hoped this hadn’t put her off.

“i think i need someone to tell me when to stop, i don’t want this to happen again” Kyradia said she hated having to admit weakness, she was supposed to be the leader of the alliance not a nervous wreck “and you seem perfect for that, also i miss your company”

“so you need me” Ashara seemed guarded again maybe come on a bit less strong Ky show her you’ve changed.

“look i’m not going to force you into anything but i would like to show you I've changed so if we could talk in person on Odessen maybe you could help me with those jedi skills of yours” Kyradia really wanted to catch up more than anything but she did need help as well.

“ok fine but i will be on my guard i’ll see you then” Ashara said as she ended the call. Kyradia sat there for a minute contemplating what just happened thank god she understood best get dressed got a Jedi to meet.

Kyradia sat at the Odessen bar hands on her drink tapping the glass furiously she was way too nervous about this, the hard part was over now just to prove you’re a better person.

She felt a tap on her shoulder that shocked her into jumping out her seat, is she here yet? once she focused she saw it was Lana.

“commander are you alright” she said with her eyebrow raised.

“yeah totally fine great how are you” Kyradia leaned on the bar trying to look normal Lana looked thoroughly unimpressed.

“fine, we had a distress call from Kavaraas temple on Yavin 4 and need someone to look into it” oh of course she had to go do something .

“i’m kinda busy right now i’m meeting back up with my old apprentice” Kyradia said with a sigh.

“well i’m afraid we have no one else how can look into it and i think you owe it to her” damn it why was she always right, stupid sensible Lana.

“fine i’ll look into it” no point in arguing with Lana she knows what’s best and she’d almost definitely win the argument.

“good luck with your apprentice” Lana said with a half smile before leaving promptly.

Kyradia went back to sitting for another fifteen minutes before she saw the blue and white lekku of Ashara come through the door she quickly waved her over.

“um hi” Ashara said quietly man what’s the best way to make this not awkward.

“how have you been it feels like forever since we were on the fury” start small yes good easy don’t push it.

“well I’ve mostly been okay after you were captured we all tried our best to find where you were, we did that for about a year, well at least me and Andronikous everyone else kinda disappeared once they gave up on a quick rescue”

“i’m aware of them don’t worry i’m glad you two stayed” she leaned in “you were always my favorite” Kyradia smiled this wasn’t so bad

Ashara chuckled “yeah i know i don’’t think you were that subtle with that” what i thought they couldn’t tell damn gotta be more sneaky “anyway after a while the search was getting to me i was more vicious and stubborn i realised i needed to take some time away to remove the darkness that was building inside me so i had to leave Andronikous which didn’t exactly go down well” i can imagine that man never stopped searching Kyradia thought “he said i was cowardly but i knew i had to go then i studied peace and serenity on Voss until you found me years later” Ashara frowned “since then I've been trying to do what i can to help people.

Kyradia felt bad but thought not to press it right now “well i’d tell you how I've been but 5 years in carbonite and then 2 years documented by the whole galaxy so you probably already know”

Ashara chuckled again “yeah I've been keeping up with your exploits” she said with a smile “thank you for saving everyone i knew you were capable of it” Kyradia smiled but felt a bit somber

“i’ll be honest i was just doing it because i was angry at Arcann and wanted revenge for Marr but i kinda learned a lot along the way” She said half smiling

Ashara gave a smile “i think it was more than just that you had something to fight for you lost something you cared about and knew that what happened was wrong.” damn forgot how good she was at reading her

“sooooo is there anyone else you’ve met along the way” Kyradia gave Ashara a friendly nudge if this didn’t diffuse the tension nothing would

Ashara went bright red as she said that “what? i mean um no i dunno i’m uh a Jedi i” she contiuned to fumble for about thirty seconds while Kyradia gave a evil smile

“you’re messing with me aren't you” Ashara said glaring as Kyradia

“ hehe maybe” Kyradia said this had been great she hadn’t felt this positive in ages it’s a shame she had work to do “i’m sorry to cut this sort but i have to go investigate some distress on Yavin IV, something at a jedi temple” Kyradia was hoping that Ashara would offer to help considering those circumstances.

Ashara looked concerned “what’s the danger?”

“not sure could be pretty dangerous i should be able to handle it” cmon reverse psychology

“ok no i’m not letting you go to an unknown danger alone after what you’ve been telling me i’m coming too” yesss it worked

“ok sure i wouldn't mind some company” Ashara narrowed her eyes as Kyradia said that

“that’s what you wanted wasn’t it” Ashara said with a coy smile

“maybe” Kyradia said looking purposefully shifty. In response Ashara pulled Kyradia into a hug “what are you doing” Kyradia said her arms limp unsure what to do

“getting you back” she smiled evilly “i remember you hate hugs, also you seem to have changed so much i’m so pleased” Kyradia felt a little water in her eyes, eeww feelings

“thanks Ashara” she said returning the hug...

#swtor #my swtor #swtor oc #swtor ocs #kyradia #kyradia zandar #ashara zavros #lana beniko #dath marr #fiction #fic #swtor fiction #swtor fic #oc fiction #oc fic #blurred lines #swtor fanfiction

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silentwriter28 · 6 years

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The storm

The thunder clashed shaking the house prompting the slumbering Varian to bolt awake just as lightning hit the dark sky.

A slight shudder rippled down Varians spine making him scoff he was 14 years old. To old to be afraid of...

BOOM

Varian yelped hiding under his blanket prompting Ruidger to sluggishly wake up soft chattering escaping the Racoon nuzzling the trembling blanket.

"I'm f..f..fine buddy". Varian mumbled tho the stutter in his voice said otherwise. Its just a storm caused by...".

BOOM.

Jumping into the air Varian laughed nervously.

"Maybe we should go see dad just to make sure the storm wont get worse".

Without waiting for his pets reply Varian took out a vial shaking it until it turned a glowing green before desending into the darkend room.

The sound of his feet seemed ten times louder as he walked around the quiet house. He paused at his dads door biting his lip breifly biting his lip before pushing the door open.

"Dad?". He whispered hearing the loud snores coming from his fathers bed.

He didnt want to wake the man up. That would be humilating. But he didnt want to be alone. Heaving a sigh Varian let a breath before gently shaking his Dads arm.

"Dad...dad".

Quirin grumbled in his sleep turning over as he contiuned to snore.

Varian's frame drooped a sigh escaping his mouth. He couldnt bring himself to fully wake his father, gosh only knows how often he actually got sleep. Since he always had to clean up his messes and watch over the Village.

Going to leave he tripped over his fathers boots yelping at he hit the ground.

Quirin bolted awake quickly sitting up he turned on his lamp concern flitering over his face when he saw Varian on the floor.

"Varian are you alright?". Quirin got out of bed putting a glover hand on his son's shoulder.

"Yeah fine". Varian's cheeks burned with shame as his father helped him up into a sitting postion.

"Did you hit your head? Does anywhere hurt?".

"I'm fine dad really".

"Good" Quirin breathed a sigh of relief before crossing his arms. "Now just what are doing up at". He looked at his clock. " 1 am and in my room?".

Before Varian could answer thunder clashed prompting the younger man to jump, realization filling Quirin his eyee softening.

"The storm woke you up".

Varian rubbed the back of his neck looking shameful.

"Yeah".

Quirin chuckled helping Varian to his feet.

"Come on then. Get on the other side".

A smile broke out on Varians face as he scrambled to his feet stumbling over them, prompting Quirin to shake his head with fondness.

Once settled in Varian sighed feeling much better with his fathers presence around. Yawning Varian snuggled into the covers half alseep already.

A strong arm wrapped its self around Varians frame tugging him to a solid chest. The blanket around both of them Varian felt very secure starting to drift off.

"Love you dad".

A gentle kiss was placed on top of his head.

"Love you to son".

Within minutes both men were sound asleep the storm forgotten.

#varian #tangled quirin #tangled #tangledtheseries

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cloversdreams · 7 years

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@ anon with the angsty KrKm ask…. I wont publish the actual ask since you don’t want me too buuuut I’d already thought of a response before you sent that second one and so I will still publish that X3!

The concept you mentioned is similar to a thing I wrote about the pair except it was Denki that was the hurt one! The roles were flipped heh. But the ask did get me wondering about a scenario where Kiri kept on pushing Denki away until the poor boy had no choice but to give up.

“Who’s Denki talking to?”

“Hmm?” Mina looked up from her lunch and then over at the blond in question. He was sitting across the cafeteria from them at a table in the corner with a girl with bright blue hair. He smiled and gestured wildly as they chatted, which caused her to giggle in response. Mina looked back at her food and shrugged as she muttered, “Oh. That must be Kyoka’s friend that wanted to meet him.”

Kiri’s eyes were glued to the laughing pair as he asked, “What for?”

“Uhh because he’s super cute and has a great personality? Duh? Anyone would be lucky to snag someone like him.” Mina replied flatly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She glanced at the redhead in time to see what looked like a dozen different emotions on his face at once.

“What do you mean snag?”

“I mean she’s cute and she openly likes him so if he plays his cards right he just might get himself a girlfriend before the day is finished. Good for him.” Mina clarified.

“Yeah. Good for…” Kiri’s words trailed off as an awful feeling grew in the pit of his stomach.

Mina looked at him curiously when she heard his sentence trail off. “Kiri? You alright over there?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m perfect.” Kiri assured her. He gathered his trash then stood up and tossed it into the nearby bin. He smiled a forced smile at Mina as he hummed, “I’m heading to the nurses office since I don’t feel great.”

“You want me to walk you?”

“No, thanks.”

Mina watched him walk away with his gaze fixed on the floor. He didn’t even see Katsuki and almost walked right into him, which caused the blond to yell about him being a “blind shitty haired idiot”. Kiri didn’t flinch or notice that the entire cafeteria had stopped what they were doing to to turn and look towards the sound of the commotion. He simply grunted a halfhearted apology and then walked away. She glanced over at Denki and saw that his brow was furrowed as he stared at the ground with a contemplative look on his face.

[contiuned under cut cause it got away from me like these things do]

The nurse’s office was just as cold an unwelcoming as usual but that didn’t bother Kiri so much since he wasn’t there for the ambiance. He laid down on the uncomfortable bed and stared up at the ceiling while his mind raced. The awful feeling in the pit of his stomach showed no signs of going away any time soon. He heard Recovery Girl mutter something about heading to the library right before the door to the room opened and then shut again.

I got exactly what I wanted. I pushed him away and now he’s moving on. This is good. I should be happy. This means I succeeded and there’s no way I’ll be hurt like I was before. I know this to be true so why the heck does my chest hurt so much? Kiri squeezed his shirt right above his aching heart with his left hand. He draped his right arm over his eyes and pretended that he did not feel the warm tears as they slid down his cheeks. Why did he suddenly feel like his plan had failed miserably? He didn’t understand what it was that he wanted anymore.

Kiri heard the door to the room open then shut again. The person made no sound so he figured that it must have been Recovery Girl returning and trying to be extra quiet since she thought he was asleep. His bottom lip trembled slightly and he bit down on it to keep from making any sort of noise that would clue her in otherwise.

A few long moments passed in such utter silence that Kiri had begun to think he’d imagined hearing the door open at all. It was then he heard a familiar voice whisper, “Please don’t cry.”

Kiri stopped breathing when he felt something warm and soft press against his lips gently. When the light pressure was removed the voice said, “It’s alright. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you even if you’d prefer I wasn’t.”

Kiri removed his arm from over his eyes and stared at Denki in disbelief. He completely forgot about what just happened as he propped himself up on his elbows and asked, “How could you ever think I wouldn’t want you there?”

Denki frowned and turned his head away from him. “Well you’ve worked really hard to keep me at arms length lately so I just assumed that’s where you wanted me. Not to mention that you just ignored the fact that I kissed you. I can take a hint… or two...”

Kiri’s cheeks darkened when he realized that he was absolutely right. He’d been so distracted by his words that he’d reacted to the wrong thing. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself for a long moment but he could see that Denki was getting restless. He saw that he kept looking at the door and realized that he was only a moment away from making up a lame excuse and fleeing.

Kiri quickly sat up on his knees and then grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug. He stayed there and refused to let go or say a word until be felt Denki relax against him. Everything about this felt so right. There was no way he could deny it anymore, Heck, he didn’t want to deny it anymore. Kiri’s voice cracked just a bit as he whispered, “This is exactly where I want you.”

“Uhh… The n-nurse’s office?”

Kiri pulled back from the embrace and then shook his head. He squeezed Denki’s shoulders as he admitted, “In my arms.” Kiri’s cheeks darkened to match his hair as he looked into Denki’s eyes and said, “I want you to date me.”

Denki’s eyes widened and his cheeks immediately darkened as well. “Y-you wha…”

“Ah, you’re right! That was no good. I basically suck at this so let me try again.” Kiri cleared his throat and then took a deep breath which he held for a moment before be exhaled or slowly. He took Denki’s hands in his as he asked, “Would you do me the honor of letting me be your boyfriend?”

It was Denki’s turn to tear up as he smiled at him. He nodded as he said, “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

Kiri returned his smile as he took Denki’s hands and brought them to his cheeks. He held them there and watched the confused look spread across his face. It was so cute, so incredibly kissable. He hoped that he was being clear enough when he squeezed his hands and asked, “Try again?”

Denki simply blinked at him for a moment before what he meant finally clicked in his brain. The tips of his ears burned with blush and he couldn’t help but glance away from him and smile shyly. He gathered up all his courage then turned back towards the redhead and pulled him into a kiss. His knees nearly gave out when he felt Kiri’s arms wrap around his waist as he immediately kissed him back.

#kirikami #my hero academia #kaminari denki #kirishima eijirou #it became hurt/comfort #because i live for the happy endings #funny how this got so out of hand #you really never know what will strike a chord with me lol #i just want them to be happy #the girl denki was chatting up just wanted to talk to him about being out as bi #people mistook her admiration of him for a crush #wo0o0o0o #i love my dorks #let them be happy

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emotionalralph-blog · 6 years

Text

January 15th 2018

WOW MY MENTAL STATE HAS TOTALLY BEEN COMPLETELY SMASHED FOR THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS LOL & THE WORST PART IS IVE JUST NOW HAVE BEEN NOTICING HOW MUCH OF A PIECE OF FUCKING BURNT TOAST IVE BEEN!! IN MY HEAD I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING WITH OWN SELF ABOUT MY FUCKING WORTH TO THE WORLD, COMPLETE NEGATIVE TALK ABOUT EVERY FUCKING ACTION I MAKE, OH YA!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM IN OF COURSE SOCIAL SETTINGS (allllll the fucking time) I JUDGE MYSELF ON EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING I DO!!!!!!! AFTER I SAY ANYTHING, MAKE ANY FUCKING MOVE, I JUDGE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS THAT I WORRY TO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER FUCKING OTHHHHHHHHHER!!!!!!!! PEOPLE THINK!!!!!!! OF ME!!!!! I HAVE TO FUCKING SELF ABSORBED RECENTLY WITH SELF FUCKING PITY I THINK PEOPLE ARE REALLY THAT WORRIED ABOUT ME, OR THAT I JUST WANT TO FUCKING PEOPLE PLEASE!!!L OHFUCKING L!!!!! FUCKING PEOPLE PLEASE!!!!??????? DUDE!!!!!!!!! I NEVER EVER EVER NORMALLY THINK BEFORE I FUCKING SPEAK AND I END UP JUST SAYING WHATEVER POPS IN MY HEAD FIRST, BUT LATELY; (in social settings fml) I JUST DONT FUCKING BARELY SPEAK. IN LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE I SHIT MY PANTS CONTIUNALLY NOT KNOWING WTF TO SAY, TO BE APART OF THE HOLLY JOLLY SO EASILY SCRIPTED CONVERSATION WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

y tho

BECAUSE IVE BEEN SO FUCKING DOWN AND OUT OF FUCKING TOWN IN MY OWN BRAIN MENTALLY; I WORRY TO MUCH ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE ARE FUCKING THINKING OF ME.

What the fuck!!!!!

WHEN I AM GENUINELY ENJOYING MYSELF I BECOME A SOCIAL, TALK TO YOU SO MUCH I COULD MAKE YOUR EARS BLEED BUTTERFLY(I THINK)(FUCK I NEED TO STOP SECOND GUESSING MYSELF)))

Which means i am settling for zero fucks given if people like me or not.. BECAUSE!!! Well number one answer is: BECAUSE LIFE BITCH! NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU.

AND

How could i fully ever enjoy myself if i am worried about what others may think of me, if what i just said made me look stupid, if i look okay, etc; how?????? I would not be able too.. my mind gets too preoccupied on my fucking self and i get taken out of the moment i should be living in. Oh ya

When my state of mind is this decrepted, i am a miserable person; no emotion towards anything much.

No one wants to be around me L0L dude!!! No one wants

A little miss negative sad little mopey girl who barely fucking talks or smiles

AROUND

so i need to quit acting like a boo boo baby bitch and do something if i am not happy, only can i make myself happy again. No one else.

I need to switch up my thoughts to myself

me to me: *you wont be able to accomplish that*

me to me back: *BITCH bet!! lets see about that*

Challenge myself,

when people seem to say i wont do something, you fucking challenge them dont you?????* BET BITCH

But when i end up telling myself i cant do something i play along with the deciet and feed even more into it. When i need to contradict the negative thought to something positive.

Man, when i am in these maniac episodes of bat shit crazy i am a walking tornado creating a disaster all around me, digging my own grave slowly.

change up the priorities list and work on my out look

No one likes a whiny bitch

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swizzkid · 5 years

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dear indigenous people..

..we are at war..

..we didnt ask for this war..

..Capitalism imposed this war on us..

..Capitalism is trying to rid us of the very own thing that has given life to all of us species..

..for the sake of all our children..

..we need to put an end to this..

..and i believe, that no way in this world they will b able to take what belongs to us/you.. if we all stand together and no way will we let them contiune to poison our enviroment, for their own benefits..

..you/we all are the rightful owners of the land, the trees, the rivers and the seas..

..let's stop letting, the foreign opressors(or their descendants..) take, destroy and treathen the lives of our/your children for the purpose of their own profits..

..these people will never ever!! serve you and your purpose.. they will only lie and cheat and reign terror over our people until they get what they want..

..so they have decided for you, whether you wanna participate in this war..

..i'd say we gonna fight(in various ways..) the foreign opressors until they have to give it up and leave.. and go to hell(i dont believe in the christian sense of hell, i believe the only hell that truly exist is the one we inflict upon ourselfs.. called karma..!!), because thats where they come from..(their own created hell, and now they want your land your people and your goods, for themselves, for them to prosper in their hellish world..)..and that is where they belong..!!!

..but we, we do not need to live in their hell..!!!

..unless we keep letting them continue their shady buissneses..

..they have brought the war to us/you whether you wanted it or not..

(you have been rid of everything before by kolonialism..!!!)

..and now, the same spirit is back.. just in a different disguise..(bolsonaro etc..)

..when is this gonna stop..!?

..so what are we/you gonna do about this..

..the times have changed..

..you are the rightous owners(if there is any owner..) of the land and the forrests..

..i say, if these people wont change.. and they really keep on in their pursuit of our destruction..

..these people havent seen war until they started it with us..

..y'all own the forrests..!!!

..all things as they where ment to b..!!!

..stop the fashists agenda at any means..!!!

..freedom, peace and equality amongst all beings..!!!

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