i have 1 week of school holidays rn. R left two weeks ago. i grew so attached to her that i my entire mood depended on her. i don’t know what to do without her. i have class next week with a new teacher. i don’t want to see someone else in her place. i keep looking at the windows expecting to see her walk by like i always do.
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no cause we're literally going to get married the minute I graduate (she's 33 years my senior)
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My crushes are either pretty girls my age or significantly older men/authority figures, there is no in between.
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i know П has trouble sleeping a lot of the time. i still worry about her and if she’s doing okay. she would stress herself and have anxiety to the point of making herself sick. god i just wanna take care of her. i want to comfort her to sleep, i want to kiss her and hug her and lay next to her. I would stay up laying next to her and running my fingers through her hair or rubbing her back as long as she needed. i would hold her hair back or hold her hand while she was sick. whatever she needed. i would do anything for her.
i remember once i heard her say to a teacher friend she just wants one single dedicated person that is hers. and she replied to someone saying „no one, not even one person, is at my feet.“ and she said that WHILE she was still married which is the absolute saddest thing ever. (if that’s worded oddly, she didn’t say it in english so i’m pretty sure that’s the best i can get lol)
i would happily do anything for her. i would be at her beck and call. and often times in the afternoons while talking in her office, i’d find myself sitting on the floor while talking with her. i was quite literally at her feet, just looking up at her and enjoying every moment i could soak up.
god i wish she’d realize. i wish she would realize what i could give her. i wish i was able to give her that comfort and kiss her and do whatever she needed.
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Just want her to kiss me softly and stroke my hair so bad <3
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sometimes i just sit and think about like what if she actually has tumblr and she sees this account and all the crazy delusional bs i post here
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saw L in the library at college yesterday and she SMILED at me 🤭 she wants me (i miss her deeply, now i’m not in her class this year)
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r is leaving next month
screaming, crying, throwing up
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I want to kiss her thighs hug her so bad.
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The way I genuinely want this woman who is like 30 years older than me. And while I have mommy issues and also look up and admire her, I genuinely find her so so fucking attractive. Her brains, personality, clothes and analysis? Yeah obviously but like honestly I just find her hot.
Like she might be old enough to be my mom and she's not conventionally attractive (whatever that means) but it doesn't make me want her any less, physically?
Is that insane???
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