#witted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

teaboot · 8 months

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I'm aware that this is a pretty big blog, so I try to avoid putting people on blast- mostly cause I don't want anyone tracking folks down and dogpiling on them for the unforgivable sin of "being wrong about a thing",

Because we are all hilariously, ridiculously and unabashedly incorrect about things at times, and that doesn't deserve the embarrassment of a thousand jeering, judging strangers with their careless mockery and casual insults,

That being said

BITCH THAT SHIT DO KILLS PEOPLE

#Witness protection post #PSA #DO NOT EAT ROTTEN MEAT

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kholran · 1 year

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It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president...and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

#i have a witness to prove it happened

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themthistles · 1 year

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whenever i see another tiktok girlie talking about how she wishes to have been a fangirl in 2010s i feel like a seasoned veteran overhearing a foolish youngin boasting about wanting to go to war for glory and adventure. you naive little idiot. you know nothing. you understand nothing. you weren't there in the trenches. i have seen things, terrible things. i cannot plug in my phone charger at night without being plagued by the visions of Him

#you wouldn't be able to keep calm and carry on through these years #you can't even say kill without censoring it in a million ways #2010s were a bloodbath be glad you were a baby at the time and didn't witness it #on another subject anyone remember that short period of time when everyone was into moustaches for some reason??#what the fuck was that about

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 7 months

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sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27

#they aren't even a chainsmoker or anything they just don't wear sunscreen are chronically dehydrated and have witnessed the Horrors #u know. like most of us #ideally we first meet them in a bar where they are guzzling from a tankard like a mysterious and dangerous stranger #later we find out it's not ale they're on a kombucha kick #they've been making it in their basement w/ the help of a college roommate who quit a biochemistry phd to become a beekeeper

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prokopetz · 1 year

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Deity who's unacquainted with concept of evolution creating a world with, like, twelve different kinds of creatures, thinking "yes, that's a good number – nice and symmetrical", then going on vacation for a couple million years and being very upset at what's waiting for them when they get back.

#concepts #theology #evolution #worldbuilding #they keep throwing extinction events at the world in an effort to get a clean slate and start over #life just keeps getting weirder in response #they're practically at their wits' end #and that's a lot of wits to be at the end of

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renaissanceousia · 3 months

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one of the most intimate scenes i've ever read i'm so serious

#rereading pjo #literally screaming crying and throwing up #likeeeee the soulmatism of it all #pls pls pls give me season 5 so i can witness this with my own eyes #percabeth #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo #pjo spoilers #pjo fandom

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wearenotjustnumbers2 · 3 months

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I'm sorry for the cruelty of this picture, but I couldn't see Amina and not share her story. Trigger warning: eye injury (bloody eyes).

Amina Ghanem, 13 years old, says: We were sleeping and we heard the sound of tanks when they came and walked over the caravan in which I, my father and my siblings lived. The tank squeezed us inside the tin all night, and we were ran over, until the morning. And when they finally let us out, I found that my father and my little sister have been killed. Now we've been brought here.

She tells her story in this video with her little brother beside her. They're all on their own. Their mother is outside of Gaza and cannot get in or get them out. They have no way of communication, their father and sister are killed.

The eyewitness of Genocide.

#let her eyes be a forever reminder of the horrors Palestinian have to endure and witness #her voice in contrast of her eyes... it's absolutely heartbreaking #how will they survive this genocide when they're all alone? How is their mother functioning having no clue about her family #palestine #gaza #israel #important #current events #free palestine #ethnic cleansing #free gaza #gaza strip #gaza under attack #video

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mobius-m-mobius · 6 months

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#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #loki spoilers #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #owenwilsonedit #marvel #dianagifs #😩😭#what... in the most tragic of romances did i just witness #gotta rewatch tomorrow but cannot BELIEVE how okay i am with everything atm???#their story clearly isn't done their burden is obviously going on without each other and they exist fundamentally connected #they've lost everything but being able to see mobius every step of the way is enough for loki to make the sacrifice #and mobius left for his timeline with no other purpose than to make sure loki could do just that #now they're lost without each other?? the only thing mobius can do is exist for a moment in loki's creation i'm UNWELL #god this is the star crossed angst that's gonna keep me going for the rest of my LIFE they're my everything #loki s2 spoilers

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corpish · 4 months

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earthnation’s influence on modern linguistics‼️

#wild to have witnessed my mutual creating history #tiktok

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forestofsprites · 1 month

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i think that sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches. lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. there are canyons. gullies and mountain cliffs. there are rainy days. dry spells and scorching blue skies. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats. that feeling slow today won't stop tomorrow's high tide. won't make july's blackberries any less ripe

#i do think there's a comfort in knowing the world won't stop for me #that me feeling off kilter doesn't mean spring will come any slower #i suppose. when life feels out of our hands. out of control #the planet keeps doing its thing #and we will be there to meet it #to engage w it. to witness it. to make changes where and when we can #too much change lately!!!!!! too much life out of my hands!!!#thoughts

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ocdhuacheng · 2 months

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So laios and fallin have been ostracized by society since they were children, Marcille has lifelong grief from constantly outliving her loved ones that leads her to dark magics, kabru’s village was destroyed by monsters, senshi and mithrun both have horror movie level backstories, izutsumi was sold as a freak show attraction, and then there’s chilchuck, who is a normal ass divorced middle aged man. And somehow he’s the most shady and secretive out of all of them

Edit can y’all please let me live I didn’t make this post bc I think chilchuck doesn’t have his own trauma or doesn’t experience racism or that being a union boss is a walk in the park or whatever I made it because him lying that he cheated on his wife to get the others to stop asking about his family was funny as fuck. Come on.

#edit: GUYS THIS IS A JOKE POST STOP TAKING IT SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYY #WHY DO YALL GOTTA BE 'well actually☝🤓'#LIKE I KNOW ALLAT ALREADY.. I SIMPLIFIED IT FOR COMEDIC VALUE LET ME LIVEEEEEE #anyway.#divorced father of three and he acts like hes about to be put into witness protection #literally obsessed with him #.txt #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #<- just to be safe for anime onlies

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cholvoq · 1 month

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“Oh Al, such a gentleman.”

I really like to draw him if you couldn’t tell—

#hazbin #hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin redesign #alastor #hazbin alastor #the thirst i witnessed on tiktok is beyond anything i’ve seen #was it bait? yes. yes it was.

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hansoeii · 8 months

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Do you think of me?

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theminecraftbee · 10 days

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this is so funny to me for some reason. grian being a filthy millennial at etho, to etho's despair,

#hermitcraft #grian #ethoslab #tangotek #'do you mean crossy road' you can witness etho taking 1d4 psychic damage on the pot

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mylordshesacactus · 2 years

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So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE--”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

#gay pirate plate #GOD i wish I had a picture #y'all are not prepared for the gay pirate plate #anyway we don't think my dad should have to miss out on our hijinks #we think he would much prefer to be alive to witness the nonsense #than for us to morbidly wait until he dies to begin the third generation of Gay Pirate Plate

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marisatomay · 1 year

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there should be an oscar category called “movie my dad completed without falling asleep on the couch” and it’s more prestigious and contentious than best picture

#he would protest if he saw this and say he was ‘resting his eyes’ but i digress #here are the movies my dad watched for the first time this year and didn’t fall alseep:#top gun: maverick sunset boulevard there will be blood witness for the prosecution glass onion edge of tomorrow #i suspect avatar will be on the list but we’re not seeing that until the 18th #we watch a lot of movies so the sample size can be considered significant #but at the end of the day dads just really love top gun and tom cruise idk what to tell you

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