#wish me luck lol
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i’m writing my next novel by hand. local guy gone mad
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Seven story + G/V Drabble coming tonight! I have to go to an appointment so it may come late!
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i can finish coloring three pages in one night. right
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i don’t know anyone in my new town yet so i’m doing barbieheimer solo today 🫡
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developing massively unhealthy psychological complexes in preparation for this unpaid job interview
#applying for a junior level designer position with a team that's remaking the half life expansion packs#seems incredibly likely to be successful#i have looked up every single ''common interview question'' on the internet and answered them all#they are literally not going to ask me any of these things#kat-fleur curio#wish me luck lol
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paul simon on change & the passage of time
leaves that are green · patterns · run that body down · american tune · still crazy after all these years · my little town · the dangling conversation · the boxer (missing verse) · train in the distance
#paul simon#music#quote quilt#web weaving#simon & garfunkel#i've been Thinking Thoughts lately and this is what's come of it#rilla.txt#i'm also slipping into a literary writing mood which is almost always brought on by a paul simon relapse#wish me luck lol#pretty words
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wip
#wip#blender#3d modeling#3d#i have the worst parts still left which is to say FACE and HAIR#wish me luck lol#human(-ish) faces are the most difficult#i'll probably continue this next week i have to go run my monday dnd tomorrow#cosmo
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Going to be on a semi hiatus throughout the summer because I am going to be working in the bush and will have limited wifi! You can PM me though and I’ll try to get back to you 🥰
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gonna keep drinking and mass apply on indeed why not
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oc questions tag :3
thank u for tagging me @nilonne uwu (im doing this over here as a way to get inspired to start working on Sorella's stuff lololol)
Name: Sorella Rose Cortes :)
Nickname: Els. Hates being called Ella (but some people still try it)
Gender: Cisgender Ladee
Star Sign: Scorpio! Born on Nov. 15th :D
Height: Probably my height 5'7" but idk. haven't thought about it.
Orientation: She's still figuring stuff out but from some in game evidence I would say not straight at the very least 😂
Nationality/Ethnicity: Mixed race! Black on her mom egg donors side, and her dad technically has some hispanic heritage from Maia.
Favorite Fruit: Honeydew melon mmmm yum.
Favorite Season: Summer!
Favorite Flower: Roses. Boring maybe but she likes sharing her name with them.
Favorite Scent: The smells of food cooking on Harvest fest. Reminds her of her Great Grandfather (whom she still misses dearly)
Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocc: Coffee lol. She is a college student rn.
Average Hours of Sleep: 6 if she's lucky lol. She's a busy bee.
Dogs or Cats: Cats!
Dream Trip: She really wants to go to Sulani as an adult and have some fun times there.
Number of Blankets: Just the right amount.
Random Fact: Her preferred metal on jewelry is gold.
im taggginnnn @daniigh0ul @xldkx @ironicscavenger aaaaand you yes you reading :)
#tag game#sorella cortes#shes been so patient for me to get back to her lol#also new icon time 💃🏽#was going to change it to something steele for feb but oops forgot#i need to build some things for her to get back into things#wish me luck lol
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#I got a barbie themed exam today#wish me luck lol#pink#barbie#barbiecore#pink hearts#pastel pink#pink aesthetic#90s#90s barbie doll#logo#90s logo#earrings
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almost done with the challenging exam
#my photos#today this is a studyblr#i don't want to be doing schoolwork tomorrow#but *checks watch* man.#wish me luck lol
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home is (where you are; now)
(also on ao3; a continuation of sorts of lets you see the wonder of it all)
When Ava lands in Lisbon, she expects … Well, she’s not sure what she expects, but she doesn’t expect the sun, doesn’t expect the beach. It feels more like arriving at a vacation spot than it feels like coming home. (She knows why, though she doesn’t say it; knows that home isn’t here, now.)
(But it was, then.)
Her aunt, Rosa, is there to greet her, gathers Ava and her things into a hug that Ava burrows into, hoping, wishing to unearth some latent memory now that she’s standing on soil she once knew. Understands, suddenly, how a person could be compelled to kiss the ground, holy and consecrate.
She’s ushered into a car and while they sit in traffic, Rosa tells her about the cousins she’ll meet, the sights they can see, places they can visit, including -
“Only if you want to, of course,” Rosa says, glancing hesitantly at Ava before focusing back on the road.
Through the window, Ava watches glimpses of the ocean from in between the crush of buildings, wonders if she’d ever shared this view with her mother, back then. (Back when she was a child and everything was simple, a slate wiped clean, untouched, unharmed; a child, loved.)
“Yes,” Ava answers and smiles at her aunt because it’s true, because she’s grateful - for the offer, for being here, for being alive, again. She nods for herself, both now and then. “I want to.”
*
That night, Ava meets her uncle and her cousins, eats a ridiculous amount of food, drinks an incredible array of wine, goes to sleep laughing. They gather again the next day, this time with her cousins’ children in tow and they give Ava a grand tour around the city - she, though, insists that she pay for tickets to the museum, sneaks an extra order of pastel de nata when they get dessert after lunch, splashes and squeals along the shore as the little ones chase her in and out of the waves. (She makes sure to take pictures, for herself and for Beatrice, stories to retell and relive.)
They’re having dinner by the beach (Ava knows it’s obvious how much she loves the ocean; she wonders if it’s a shared trait because her relatives don’t seem to want to be too far from it either), sunburnt and water spent, sharing the most amazing spread of seafood Ava’s ever seen when she notices her aunt watching her eat. Her mouth is full so Ava tilts her head and raises her eyebrows in askance.
The smile that crosses Rosa’s face reminds Ava of an expression she’s seen before on Beatrice: a curious, cautious concern. “You pause sometimes when you’re eating,” her aunt says, the low light flickering across her face. Ava’s struck for a moment by how much Rosa and her mother look alike. They’d gone through photo albums during breakfast, pictures of the sisters as children, Ava as baby. Her mother, then, hadn’t been much older than Ava was now. Rosa pauses, looks away, then finally meets her gaze. “It’s like you’re waiting for something.”
Ava swiftly ducks her head even though it’s too late, even though she’s already been seen. She finishes her bite, washes it down with wine (thinks once more how she wishes Beatrice was here to taste it, to be here and feeling all of this with her; something in Ava is quick to believe that there’s a part of her that can). “I guess I am,” Ava admits while pulling at her napkin. Across the table the youngest child, a toddler, babbles as she bounces on her mother’s lap. It tugs fiercely at something deep in Ava’s chest.
“I keep waiting for a memory to come,” she softly explains, fiddles with the food on her plate. “I keep thinking that maybe this will be the bite, this will be the place that makes me remember.” She shrugs, eyes flickering up briefly. Sighs. “But I guess that’s too much to expect, you know? I was just a kid. It was a long time ago.”
When Ava finally looks up, her aunt’s lips are pressed tightly together, jaw trembling as she nods in understanding. “Well,” Rosa says, and her voice sounds like it’s being pulled from one, from somewhere deep, someplace fundamental, a shared wellspring that wets Ava’s eyes as well when Rosa continues, “You’re here now.”
Rosa takes up her glass - wine, and Ava wonders if she could turn water into wine, she’s already brought someone to life, what’s one more miracle in a life that’s been full of them, what’s one more life - and raises it towards Ava.
Ava lifts her own glass in response, and they tip towards each other. The sound of their meeting rings softly within the din of laughter and conversation, of being with family. Of being here.
(Here, where her mother is, and yet not.)
*
Ava had said yes when Rosa had asked but it takes three more days before they’re both ready. They climb into the car, just the two of them, and set towards the house Ava had once called home.
The traffic is light today, the sun high in the sky, and Rosa tells her about the house from behind a pair of sunglasses that shine in the sun and mirror Ava’s reflection. Every time Rosa turns to glance at her, Ava gets a glimpse of her own face as well, a shifting scene of nerves and grief, uncertainty and grim resolve.
When they arrive, it’s exactly as Rosa’s described. It’s more of a cottage than a house, worn with age but well-loved. There’s no one to greet them at the door, just old furniture and boxes as the family uses it mostly for storage now; a place for things to go when they can’t let go.
Her mother’s room remains the same, however. Rosa had told her in the car about the crooked quilt her mother had made covering the bed, the small statue of the Virgin Mary in the corner, the vanity that Ava would sit on as she giggled and did her hair and makeup together with her mother every morning. The room is bright and Ava tries to picture it, tries to feel what it was like, being here, being her - who she was then: young, a child, a daughter.
She tries, here where the boundary between past and present feels whisper thin, as if she could press through it if she stands just so, looks at the sun just right; as if she could hear her mother’s voice and answer with her own. But it’s all wrong - Ava’s older now, will be older than her mother was back then (will be older than she ever had the chance to be). Ava stands at the vanity and looks at her reflection in the mirror. Wonders briefly what her mother would have thought of her hair, her makeup, of her.
(She doesn’t know, now. But she knows, then, what was true, two simple truths that she had held in her heart: that she was loved, that she was not alone.)
They don’t stay long. Ava takes a couple pictures of the house, including one of the backyard with it’s overgrown garden and a bench nestled underneath a tree. She’s looking through the photos on her phone, deciding which ones to send to Beatrice as her aunt locks the front door. Rosa’s muttering and jiggling the finicky lock when something finally comes.
It’s not a memory, not really. It’s more a feeling, something familiar slipping over her, a blanket tucked under her chin, turning the page of an oft-read book. Something that once was known and is known again - like how the sky is blue, how sand feels between her toes, how her life has been and will always be filled with love.
“Ava?”
Rosa’s sunglasses are on top of her head and the resemblance strikes Ava again. ‘It’s the eyes,’ she realizes. Recognizes, because she’s inherited them too. It warms her, standing at the door to her old home, not like blood spilled but blood shared. Ava had been so sure, before, that she would be the last. She’s not, now.
Ava breathes in and smiles, tremulous and true. “I’m fine. Let’s go home,” she says, bursting and full - of love, of gratitude, of then where home was first learned here on these steps, of now where she has not just one, but many.
#jt writes fic#avatrice#well more in the background as this one is more about#ava silva#and her family and a home she once knew#did i write this instead of preparing for my job interview today? why yes i did#wish me luck lol#warrior nun fic
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actually sitting down to start to plan adventurers au today 👀
#my pitch is what if btvs was the mummy but also dracula but with the familial themes still#and a calendiles focus#wish me luck lol#rambles
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that one picture looks familiar…
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my reoccurring need to infodump about various horror series that i keep binge-watching is extremely and immensely inconvenient considering the only people in my general vicinity is my two very christian parents that explicitly ordered me, even at the age of eighteen years old, to never, ever, watch horror movies....
#so yeah#im goin thru it rn#this has been me specifically with#scream#saw#and#american psycho#but that list will grow eventually because i am getting through more and more horror movies now !!#wish me luck lol#me#horror films
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