#will never forget my first home
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Dew who undergoes his transition and simply refuses to go near the water at all. The one thing he's always loved, and now he can't even bear to look at it. It feels too devastating to even think about.
He knows if he steps foot into a body of water he's never coming out again.
Even though he's a fire ghoul now, he can still feel that pull. Looks at the water longingly from the tour bus windows. Dreads the beach days that are so few and far between.
But he wants and he wants and he wants. So desperately. To feel the waves on his skin. Can feel the pull from Aphrodite even still.
It's been years. He's doing okay now. He accepts his transition for what it is, welcomes it above all else. Knows he's so far from where he was then. He's okay.
And so, hand in hand with Rain, he steps into the ocean again.
Lets his laughter bubble up like seafoam. Lets the water rush up and take over him. It's like a mothers love. It's like coming home again.
And if anyone sees the salt of his tears mix with the salt of the ocean, know that it's only from the joy of returning to what he loves.
#is this just blatant self insert? Yes. But who cares.#last year i went into the water again for the first time in 8 years due to severe suicidal ideation#and i will never EVER deny myself of something that I love for that long ever again in my life#the water is my home no matter who i have been or who i will become and I wont ever forget that again#dewdrop ghoul#dew ghoul#sodo ghoul#the band ghost#nameless ghoul#larsposting#lars writes#shitghosting
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#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera#camerupt#early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name#i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of#camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like#either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have#not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type#not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters#that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there.#i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them#i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one#oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil#ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just#do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today#which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day#i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've#arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me#you might need it
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back from vacation so time to speedrun art before september
#my art#svsss#liu qingge#liu mingyan#mxtx#scum villain's self saving system#got home and my first thought was hm! can i finish something in less than 2 weeks! and then this happened#id love to post more often and draw more but i work so slowly :(#now idk what to do next. help. bingqiu vs moshang on horse?#(ill do both (and more) eventually)#(so its just the matter of whats next)#did you know i started a sketch page aaages ago but never finished it so i didnt upload. but i only really like 3.5 sketches out of the 5#so idk if it will ever get uploaded at all :( BUT i might put those people on horses too (GOD)#also need to find a book to read now.... pain (haha @ the 5 books i Have on hand and also the library literally next door)#if only decisions werent so hard!!!!#oh and before i forget#horse#horses
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being the youngest person on my team by like 10 years sometimes is REALLY obvious because everyone is talking about home construction and high school kid sports and stuff and my weekly update is “I got a Razor scooter and some new glitter paint”
#sometimes they totally forget I’m this young bc we’re never on video and I’m not volunteering a lot of personal updates bc of reasons#but when I do it’s really funny bc I’m like#‘I learned how to make stir fry today’#‘I beat a raid in this video game i play’#‘I got a razor scooter’#‘the dog now fetches the cat toys so I don’t have to bend down and pick them up’#‘I tried mangos for the first time’#‘yesterday I learned what ferries are like’#‘this weekend I took photographs of local moss’#and everyone else is like ‘my daughter is home from college’ ‘I have my first grandchild’ ‘the hurricane blew away the port a potty from our#house construction site’ etc etc#personal#someday I’m going to be fully dressed in an actual outfit and do a little makeup and then be on our weekly long team meeting and everyone’s#going to be like YOU’RE Katherine???? You’re what Katherine looks like? you have pink hair and you’re like 17????#and I’m going to be like well I mean I’m not THAT young but yes I do wear like. young person clothes#I get ’you’re so optimistic!’ from some of them on a regular basis and I’m like#well you see I learned that if I’m not optimistic I will die#and also the world is REALLY FUCKING COOL when you’re not terrified of the world all the time#so frankly I think I’m right to be#I think you maybe need juice and a rest and a bigger support system and then maybe you’ll feel a lot better#meanwhile I’ll be a cheerleader hard enough for both of us
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It's the boy!!!
He's just so funny to me, i love him <3 the silly little guy who's taken over everybody's heart @:)
Character belongs to the wonderful @/partycoffin ofc
#welcome home#welcome home wally#ive really just fell in love with all of clown's beautiful characters theyre all so cute#ive like never made fanart of something so fast or this much fanart like generally#its crazy and they just come so easily its insane#btw this is my first time trying to digitally color one of my traditional sketches#so i was just experimenting with my drawing app#but i think it came out pretty good#it took like 8 hours lol#also i made this like 2 weeks ago but i kept forgetting to post it lol#anyway lol#my arts#my posts#me#more on the way probably like i said i cant stop drawing wally and im workin on the rest of the cast#wally darling#welcomehomearg
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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Happy Monopoly Mermaid Monday, have something that's almost a year old but I still love.
#ai's random art#tropical rouge precure#tropical rouge pretty cure#chongire#numeri#elda#butler#tr chongire#tr elda#tr numeri#tr butler#no it's not a mistake both Butler and Numeri are okay with murder she's just depressed and Butler is simply on an extra level of fucked up#first time I showed my wife mii was 'this looks like it's from a dating sim' and we proceeded to brainstorm the whole concept#that still haunts me to this day. I've never wanted a game to be real this bad in my life#you could romance more than one and end up in a polycule. Elda had a friendship meter that was crucial for Numeri and Chongire's routes#the witch was a secret route you could unlock if Butler trusted you enough#every day I crave it with my whole soul#programming this bc idk if I'll already be home or forget
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bitches be like "wish i was doing something of worth for society/my local community" while doing three time-intensive community jobs unpaid and walking around as a living leftist/queer symbol and occasionally leaving behind leftist stickers
it's me i'm bitches
#damnnnn i needed to hear that#i didnt even realise until my mum was like biscuit. biscuit youre doing enough. actually i think its too much#it seems so casual i forget that those things do very much have an impact#like im a youth trainer at the local climbing centre#and im organising stuff for the new kids at my school#and im part of a sooorta government project against teens slipping into crime#tho that didnt start yet cuz were the very first to do it around here so no one has prior experience#and yeah im walking around very leftist. like a rainbow and trans pride flag actually#and that does make a difference. somewhat. like maybe you see a fascist sticker somewhere#but theres also people like me and you bet your ass im never gonna hide#and im not getting paid for any of the projects and stuff#...... actually. i just remembered we get money at school. for doing that. but not that much and im doing it for other reasons#just gotta remind myself that i am doint stuff lmao#been dancing along the very last line a while now#snapped today#again#but this time my mum noticed so we talked and now i feel a lot better#and i cancelled stuff for today bc tuesdays are more than packed really#as in i hardly get any time at home packed#but now i di have time. (and homework.) and i feel better#gonna get off that edge soon enough lol#a biscuit's rambles#i gotta get more stickerd tho i hardly have any left
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i don't think i'll ever experience the level of happiness i felt when taylor started playing the very first night on the guitar in buenos aires.
#i also think i'll never jump as high as i did that night lmfao#bro i am being dead serious#i was done#i was incredibly tired and my knees gave up#but the minute she said 'the very first night' and started playing it#it felt like i snorted 5 lines of coke#and also i'll never ever forget coming back home and seeing my beautiful mutuals being happy that i got to hear it live :')#i love you bitches
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I went on a random walk around my neighbourhood and I realized a few minutes in that I was accidentally taking the route I always took with my dog and now I'm literally heartbroken all over again lmao
#how does one go through the grief of losing a pet? i quite simply don't know#i was very young when we got our first dog and very young when she passed away so i think losing lola truly feels like#my first time experiencing something like this#she spent 14 years with me and now it's like my parents leave and im home alone and im actually really alone#how can u spend 14 years with a living creature and then forget her just like that#like i remember the morning she passed i had to go to work??? girl i wanted to cry and cry and cry. not teach the fucking to be verb#god it feels nice to say it tho#miss her soooo much#i never knew u could form bonds like this w animals until her#sweet girl#sigh ANYWAYS#gonna go have some mate outside while there's still some sunlight#rose.txt
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#i’m so devastated for such. selfish reasons#i looked forward to celebrating festa with everyone so much#but instead i’m grieving a sibling and it feels wrong to engage with anything#even though i know it’s okay to do so if i want to#it’d definitely help take my mind off things i guess#but it’s kinda like that thing of ‘how/why would you be celebrating a boybands anniversary when your sister has just died’#and that’s what holds me back#i’ll never get this day back but i’ll also never get my sister back either so it’s just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i think i’m in the anger phase first#at the universe for timing it this way#for letting such a shitty thing happen right before a day i was supposed to be really happy and festive#i appreciate the messages some of you have sent me#trust me they’ve been helpful#also maybe this is corny to mention but i really do believe bts shows up for me exactly when i need them most#and yesterday while i was at home waiting for confirmation of my sister passing is when jungkook went live on weverse#when that notif popped up i was also laying in bed and i felt so comforted by his presence in that moment#it was like he was just Being there for me even tho he was just trying to go to sleep#but he provided me with a distraction even if it was just briefly and i’m never gonna forget that#he was like an angel to me in that moment and he didn’t even know#he just wanted company and he has no idea how much i needed him in that moment#i’d never felt lonelier or out of the loop while than during those hours and him going live for a bit felt like i was being looked after#the official time they called her death was about 15 or so minutes after his live turned was off#so i just appreciate being distracted during the time leading up to then#maybe that’s all super silly and parasocial but god! can anyone blame me#i’m just seeking comfort anyway i can at this point and bts always always always delivers#that’s why i’m so sad to be missing out on so much today#anyway this is way too long and i am just waiting for that performance to come out#i miss them and i miss everyone
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I just played BioShock 2 for the first time in nearly a year and I cannot BELIEVE how fucking rusty I was ngrngnrgn
DELTA I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW MUCH YOU GOT HURT
#wandering over the words#NGRNGNRGN#I've been playing New Vegas and Fallout 3 that whole time#as SOON as the game loaded I just went ''OH GOD'' cause of how different everything was#I couldn't remember how to do jack SHIT#immediately got off the train like ''wow I should turn on my Pip Boy light!'' and then remembered THIS AIN'T THAT GAME NRNGNG#imagine Delta fuckin drunkenly stumbling around and not aiming for shit and that was me playing this game again#jesus CHRIST#I got weirdly emotional during that bit when Delta sees Rapture again on his way out of the Adonis tho#and when Sinclair spoke for the first time#it was like coming home 😭#and y'know what.#CAN STILL TALK ALONG W/ SINCLAIR ✌️😎#NEVER FORGET U BABY
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this is how i look exactly when i see/hear my tanji :(
#sorry for the shitty meme but that's my spirit animal LMAO#tanjiro.💚#loml.💍❣️#i am so pathetically down bad for him :(((#well that u know but still :(((#im first and foremost his and his only :(((#i'll never forget my way back home no matter what#and he's always waitin for me :((
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#negativity cw#was looking at old photos of my parent when they were dating/newly married#and it’s very bittersweet#they were just a year or two older than me when they first met#and I can see how much I look like both of them#especially my dad for the first time#I’ve never really seen my resemblance to him before#but I can’t forget my mom telling me every year since im 13 im the reason they have marital issues#and that they’re going to divorce because of me#and my dad is going to have a heart attack and die because of me#and they’re going to have to sell the family home bc of me#and my siblings are going to grow up in a broken home bc of me#and she’s going to [redacted] herself because of me#and even now that I’m an adult and financially independent and moved out#and the drama of my middle/high school/college years are behind us#she does not feel any guilt or remorse over it#and still very much blames me#their anniversary is coming up in the new year and they are not seeing a gift from me
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I had some more diamonds. I thought I'd try pulling. I'm still hoping for an Azuma and Tsumugi dupe, I've given up on thinking about Guy. And then.
hISOKA.
And
??? Homare??? NOT THAT IM COMPLAINING BUT???
AND AN HISOKA SSR???? REALLY???
And if we add to the fact that Homare's unbloomed has Hisoka all over it as well it adds to it feeling like Hiso is there somehow even more
If i filter my event sr tab to fuyu only:
IS IT A JOKE. AM I A JOKE TO YOU. HISOKA DO WE NEED TO TALK OR SOMETHING.
#LIKE I DONT WANT TO DISCOURAGE HIM FROM COMING HOME#BUT SIX TIMES??? SIX TIMES?????????? I GET SIX COPIES OF HISOKA AND GUY IS OUT THERE SNOBBING ME????#i guess at least its on brand BUT. BUT. COME ON.#ichablogging a3jpn#it reminds me of how in the EN server by the time it closed i had like. 10 copies of Hiso base ssr in my backroom#and I'll never forget i full bloomed hiso for the first time#bc i did a solo token pull after i ate a marshmallow and while i was headed to my nap#.... im about to go to sleep now and im super sleepy is that why it summoned him#and im not mad for the ssr tho but what are THE ODDS.
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i dont want my plants to die while im gone this summer but theres no way i will be able to motivate myself to not only ask someone to come water them but also get my apartment to make a spare key bc despite the fact that they have an authorized entrants list theyve never been able to actually let anyone on that list into my apartment if im not there so the only way to let ppl in is to have an extra key
#they actually gave me an extra key when i first moved in but i gave that to the couple who used to come clean my apartment until#they decided my tarot cards candles & crystals meant i was welcoming demonic entities into my home so i stopped talking to them .. 😭#and never was able to get myself to ask for the key back bc . i kind of wanted to forget that interaction ever happened LMAO
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