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#will i ever want to recover???? like i dont rn but will i be 45 and still feel like this???
tslasvegas · 3 years
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Episode 4: “I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty.” - Keegan
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Dan and JAKE! A WORD IN MY OFFICE PLEASE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
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Wow! Today was A Day to say the least. I feel like boo boo the fool with how things went down today, but hopefully, I can recover from that now that there’s a new tribe. I’m excited to get to know new people, but sad to see my old alliances have to come to an end. I guess we’ll see what happens
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Finally a swap and golly 5 OG Palazzo! I really hope this works in our favor. Kinda nervous for Joey and Stephanie tho because now they are in the minority of their tribe. I do hope they’ll find a way to survive till merge
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LMFAO IM... watching the tribal council for the other tribe and I'm SORRY??? Who the fuck is Jake S he is the most condescending man I've ever seen in my entire life YIKES. Anyways this swap is nice.. I think I've got a good group, I really hope we win the next few immunities because I 1) really dont want to see Rachael on this tribe and 2) i want to try and rebuild my um. tattered relationships. I did the best I could in the challenge for tonight, I'll try to come back tomorrow a little more renewed cus I'm kinda wiped out from today's events. Now that my tribal council cherry has been popped for this Org its time to go crazy woop
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So good not to check Luxor anymore! 
youtube
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Well last tribal went fine, I got to see what was in the Prize Vault which is awesome; now I have a better idea of the twist. Big problem though- Our swap put me in the minority. I was running Luxor and had a core 4, now they have 5 OG Pink so they can pluck us off, one at a time. I went from drivers seat to getting driven over. We need to win the challenge, so I'm gonna go ham in winterbells and hope to pull it out.
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We swapped! I think I made a confessional already, but honestly I don't remember. I gave Livingston some of my chips so he can go visit the vault after the immunity challenge. We'll see what is in there and for how much, and maybe snatch up some real nice items to help us out. I've also got Andrew on my side, which is great and he's apparently quite tight with Pat, which is fantastic. Mo is a pretty decent dude and I've been talking with Jake a lot today. Things are going alright. I just hope we can win this challenge. 
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Phew, while the swap was not ideal. I was really liking my tribe, we were kind of quiet but individually everyone was great and we also kicked butt at challenges! Anyway, the swap with numbers wise not great, but I know Xavi from a previous game and we have a solid relationship, I hope he and John and Joey and myself can build a solid squad to make it to the merge. The challenge was rough tbh, I am not great at video games, but I think I did ok... Jaiden got like 20 trillion points on a game so really I have no idea how I did. Hoping for the best!
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I am losing my mind in my personal life so I am sorry that I have been mia. I appreciate the patience from the hosts and my tribe. It makes me still want to play even though I've been kinda invisible. I'm aware of that. I'll fix it. I promise. Otherwise, its been pretty good as a tribe so far. Andrew, Pat, and NIk and i are all really close from other games, so we're good and Andrew and Pat and I are together, which is just really unfair if you ask me. I can't wait to start scheming!
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Uhhhhhh.................................... anyways........ yall hear somethin? Oh I hear something. It's the sound of Joey literally blowing himself up to me hardcore!!!! The narcissism and arrogance really jumped out on this one. So Joey had the idea of calling tonight to go over some stuff and honestly out of the 2 hours we spent, I think about 45-60 mins of it was rather nice and I do feel that I enjoy his presence, but omg... his desire for control is so noticeable and its kinda gross. Joey and I debriefed on what went down on Bellagio and I totally understand why there was the difference in us discussing tribe dynamics - I had to give up all my info while he kinda kept things more reserved. I want to assume this is because of the fact that I went to tribal and he hasn't until now. I won't judge him for that. However, after this he's kinda like dictating the fact that an OG Bellagio needs to go home. Ben is the easier person to throw under the bus since he didn't even bother to do the challenge/let us know what's up. Not a big fan of that, but aight. Then Joey starts suggesting we vote out Kailyn...?? Uh... not on my watch. I have to make it up to Kailyn at least a little bit so even though she's probably got a loaded gun pointed at my head rn, I want to defuse the situation rather than start throwing her out there as a potential target. Even if it isn't coming from me, I'm not here for that. The information that Joey did give up to me relates to the chips in the game. I've never paid much attention to the chips, but I guess it takes 10 to get into the vault and Joey's got between 11 and 15 (he changed his answer on the subject SEVERAL times). He says there are three idols worth 40 chips each, then a super idol worth I think 50 or 60 (can't remember). On top of that, there are nullifiers, vote advantages, and a legacy advantage, too. He seems fixated on the legacy advantage and really wants the chips to get it. Like.. ok do you but we NEED the super idol?? Does he not realize that thing has more power than anything else in the vault combined..? ANYWAYS. What really started to turn me off about Joey is that there was this sudden expectation that I'd be giving him all of my chips thus far. I don't care about them to begin with but knowing what I know now, it doesn't make sense for me to give him my stash just to fuel his hunt for... a measly legacy advantage... I put myself in a compromising position. I told him that once a host gets back to me on my exact total, I'd be willing to trade him my chips for I guess an allyship going forward. I mean that. I want to work with Joey at least through this vote, but I can't guarantee that it'll go much further than that. He is a very risky person for my game right now because if he's coming off this strong to everybody, it's only going to hurt me by association to stick with him longer than a vote or two. However, I'm going to try and divert the attention and just be like, maybe we need to use my five as a bartering piece for new allies at this point. I want to try and build meaningful partnerships right now, especially since that was the only reason I wanted to make it to the merge.. Rebuilding is crucial as well. Kailyn and possibly Nik/Rachael are not going to be fond of me once we all have "the talk" about last tribal. I put myself in an even more compromising position with them, but I'll find my way out of that mess. I think........ As far as this tribe goes, I think between Joey's WILD imagination/constant over-analyzing and the lack of direction this tribe has taken so far.. I'm doing okay. Nobody is really standing out besides Joey and I guess myself in a way, so if I keep him around it MIGHT even shrink my own target little by little - unless people find out we're together then FUK. 
......five seconds later
In terms of my other relationships right now, I love John Coffey but this is old news, I've been in love with this man since like 2016 and it's fine - totally fine - just fangirling a bit rn since I get to spend more time with him!! woohoo. Xavier and Stephanie are straight up non-entities which makes me SO scared of them especially since Stephanie's won an ORG before... how can someone be so irrelevant yet still win something? Hmm... Makes me think that she's secretly a ninja, you never even see her around. Nik has grown more and more quiet as the days go along and I wonder what's goin' on with that. Maybe they've decided since Biden won the election that moving to New Zealand is a bad idea? Lmfao. I dunno. Nik stresses me the hell out because I have no idea what they're thinking at any point in time even in the off-chance that we are talking. I think I might just have a personality they don't mesh with because I noticed on call forever ago that none of my jokes were particularly landing but Nik had a lot to say and a LOT to joke about there... rip. If it's a personality conflict - go off, I guess. I'll try on a couple different hats w this person to try and see if I can get things to go better than they have been. Kailyn.. like I said before, pretty sure she's after me but I am really trying to sell it to her that I like her a lot, because I do. I literally compare her to my best friend irl because they have very similar attributes and I consider Kailyn kinda messy but fun and quirky like my BFF so I hope that Kailyn did truly appreciate me making that comparison. Ben's inability to do this challenge is going to be his undoing. I think the only acceptable move is to vote him off this time because I HAVE to prove to Kailyn that I can stay the course, and I also need to whittle down Bellagio numbers to prevent people from targeting us and having everything go to shit that way. Let Joey control this, please dear god. Don't let me get blood on my hands. Let Rachael integrate herself well on this tribe. Let someone else blow themselves up in the process. Just not me plz and thanks. There is no fear in my soul tonight. Joey might be a fucking crackhead but so am I. I'm breaking down walls that I didn't think existed but Joey basically told me tonight that he thought I was confrontational, rude, chaotic, and all these other things but was impressed at how calm, optimistic, and outgoing I was. Love to hear it. He might think he overestimated me but he was right about the initial impressions... too bad he won't be around long enough to see that side of me :~) 
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FIRSTLY, DeNara was robbed. Okay so I already wrote this a while ago in my host chat about how the fact jake and dan are praying for my downfall because after the swap i am the only og bellagio on a tribe with 5 palazzo and 2 luxor. so after I slowly blinked at my screen for a bit I was like okay how do we survive this if I go to tribal. Because I’m under the impression tribes are gonna stick together especially going into merge but since Luxor is already down so many members it’s kinda Bellagio Vs. Palazzo. but then I was like okay wait I’m the only member of bellagio on this tribe after coming from a tribal so I’m the only one who can say what happened and I can create what narrative I want to help me get through the next couple rounds. Because if I was like oh blah blah I was in majority im so fucked then of course they’re gonna target me to get me out. But if I play the victim card and milk the fact that I voted in the minority acting like I hate my og tribe maybe they’ll think to use me as a pawn. To take down others moving forward. Listen if I have to be labeled a goat to move forward then BAA bitch.
.....five seconds later
Things are going good, because not only am no longer in danger this round but that means Rachael is going to the enemy tribe which if she came to our tribe that might’ve disrupted the narrative I had going of me being against og bellagio. Also DeNara should still be here, don’t think I didn’t clock the fact that Ben scored a 0. I also found out from Andrew that Rachael and Ben are apart of the same Tengaged group which explains why Rachael was so set on Ben staying but like, listen, if I end up in a game with someone I’m friends with, and they’re not active and helping the tribe. Good riddance.
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What the. We lost yet again. I have lost everything since the start of the game. It's crazy. There are 4 from Bellagio, 2 Palazzo and 2 Luxor. 2+2 seems like an obvious plan, but it looks like it is falling apart already (read: Joey). Sucks to be across the world, so instead of scheming, I'll be sleeping.
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Forgive me father, for I have sinned. is the same as I'm sorry Daddy, I've been very naughty. 
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The swap did happen. Expected it. Glad we won this first challenge in this new tribe tho in worried for Stephanie and Joey
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Vault Shenanigans - Holy shit I did not expect this to be as powerful as it is. I was preparing myself for some sort of payment based search system, but being able to straight up buy the items I want, but its also the same for other people. I had a misconception at how generous the wheel was so I'm probably behind some people with the amount of chips, but I could very well start scooping up some of the steal votes and just say "see ya" to the idols, although getting a super idol would be very wild, it still seems risky to hold out that long to get it, even though there's a great amount of power associated with it. The other issue with a super idol is that I think that its very likely that if I get into a position where I need to use it, that I lose a lot of respect with the jury if it does happen. The only benefit from actually having it would be that I no longer have to worry about someone else whipping it out, so it'd be less for me wanting it, but more for others not having it. As of now, I think my optimal play is to hold on to my chips until around ~40, and then buy both vote steals at once, OR go all out for the super if someone has already bought an idol by that point, because I would be operating under the assumption that the frontrunner is already out of the running. Tribe Swap Shenanigans - This is a hell of a tribe swap. 5-2-1 is always a great spot to be in, I am already good within the 5 that I have so I don't have to worry about anything there, it should be relatively smooth sailing as far as getting to the merge. Mo/Jake are alright so far, neither particularly speak too much. Kevin has not reached out at all, probably will try to talk to him tonight for general purposes, even if he seems like he'd be an easy one to get out first should we go to tribal the next time. But generally I really don't plan on losing so it's kind of a wash. I'll take the smooth sailing, easy path to merge. Premerge is never as relevant as merge is when it comes to FTC as long as you have something to show for yourself at the merge. I've got all game to make my presence known, and I plan on using the entirety of the game to do so.
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I feel super anxious today because even though I had a great conversation and built a good connection to Joey, there hasn't been any talk about the vote quite yet. I mean obviously names have rolled out but nothing solid is out there still, I think I just need to let go of the urgency for a name to start being spread early on and just let things be. Stephanie and I have been chatting a bit here and there today so I feel more comfortable with her and hopefully she sees things from a similar perspective as everyone else - the Bellagio foursome needs to get broken up right now. As long as it's not my name of course!!!!! Plz vote Ben @everyone. Or Kailyn tbh save me a little bit of trouble now. Talking to Xavier is SO HARD LMAO. He doesn't immediately contribute information into a conversation and as bad as I wanna get rid of Ben, I almost..almost think going for Xavier is the smarter move, since Xavier doesn't seem too motivated to actually get to know ME and work with me. I'm selfish that way. Kailyn doesn't seem like she wants to do Ben which is a little frustrating but I totally get it, if Ben stays he's going to go after her hardcore but like she needs to actually pitch me an alternative lmfao. I don't wanna go bending over backwards just to appease her right now so if she doesn't gimme a name.. sorry sis but then I think it's gonna be Joey's call on this one :/
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I am being very cautious now. The 4 of us (me, John, Joey and Steph) are going to vote together. Now Jaiden wants to vote Nik. And Kailyn wants to vote Ben. Why can't we just agree on one?! And it always has to go down to the wire. Stick together, people!
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I think I am possibly leading the charge against Nik rn?? Joey told me he wanted Ben and then I told him I wanted Nik and now he wants Nik LOL take that Stephen 
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Okay well I have no idea what's going to happen tonight, but I'm going into tribal not afraid of the vote I am probably going to have to make ... I think the best move is to just vote for Nik and be done with it, but it's going to cause a serious rift in a lot of my relationships if I do so. I've been super wishy-washy to a lot of people I think and right now it doesn't make sense to continuously do one thing when I mean another.. especially since there seems to be zero ground to move upon when it comes to getting the vote to turn from Nik to Ben. Nik doesn't even SEEM ACTIVE?? Why are we making this a bigger deal than it needs to be. Ben can't just walk around deciding what's going on and I think Kailyn would prefer to keep Nik around rather than Ben but it's like... so push for Ben to be the target hun! She's feeding into someone else's move no matter what she does, it's either Ben's agenda or John's agenda. Pick a side, but pick the side I'm on, too. Why don't we just vote for Kailyn tbh. lmao
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ohbelladonna · 6 years
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all 69 questions :3c
1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yep
2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
takennnnn
3: What if I told you that you were pretty?
“nAH but thank u”
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
yep
5: Are you interested in anyone right now?
yepppppp
6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?
i have three finals so n o
7: Do you want to be single?
hELL NAH i love vyvy plZ
8: Did you go out or stay in last night?
movie night with vyvy and her gorls 
9: How late did you stay up last night?
like??? til 1:30??? i don’t remember
10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?
it was like 11:43 and i was studying with vyvy and i was like “oh. oh wow. oh jeez oH FUCK oh jeez”
11: Last three things you had to drink?
water water and water im a college studnent
12: Have you pretended to like someone?
one time to get outta a situation lmaO
13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
y e s
14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?
y es 
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?
depends on how deep the bond is/was so?? depends
16: Think back five months ago, were you single?
yesssssss
17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?
i was calling a special education center about an interview lmAO
18: Hold hands with anyone this week?
YEESSS
19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
probs?? idk cause wine wednesdays 
20: What would you name your future daughter?
spork
21: Do you miss anyone?
i miss my fam and also my cali ppl cause yEah but bITCH IM COMIN BACK IN TWO WEEKS
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?
nahhhh
23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?
it wassssss in a college buildingggg cause i walked w/ vyvy to her exam cause i needed to laminate some stuff
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
fuCk i dONt knOW
25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?
Y E S
26: Who did you last see in person?
my roommate. who is a bitch. and in the room. god why
27: Are you listening to music right now?
yessss
28: What is something you currently want right now?
okay im having issues rn cause i want a cake like. A Whole Cake. i dont know why but i just do and i think (think) ive earned an entire cake to myself so i may (may) buy an entire cake tomorrow and vyvy if ur reading this u can’t fucking stop me bc u have tiny legs and i will sprint
29: What is the last thing you said out lot?
“fuck” bc i was pouring boiling water into a ramen cup and it spilled
30: How is your heart lately?
warm!!!
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
iTS TOO BIG BC I HAVE A SMALL HEAD AND ITS A HASSL E
32: Are you wearing socks?
nahhh
33: What do people call you?
zoe or zoey or fucker
34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
i already ammmmm
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?
jesus fucking christ y es
36: Who did you last share a bed with?
vyvyyyyyy
37: Did you do something bad today?
it was…… a decent day…… yes
38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
two days ago lMao
39: Do you get stressed out easily?
perhaps
40: Will you sing today?
l m a o
41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?
y e s
42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?
i go to either the amandas or vyvy or my mom
43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?
like. twice when i was little lmasjbda
44: What are you listening to right now?
closure in moscow cause Its A GrEAT BAND
45: What is wrong with you right now?
buncha stuff l o l
46: What is on your wrists right now?
skin
47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wear
h&m cause they got some cheap stUFF
48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
HOT CHOCOLATE 
49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?
yes
50: Are you a good artist?
no
51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?
yes
52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?
nahhhhh
53: Ever been on a golf cart?
yesssss
54: Do you have trust issues?
i used to, but being in college changed that rapidly
55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?
yESSS and ive done it with vyvy, anthony, i feel like amanda(s)?, my twin, lauren, this one chick peyton and oi vey bye honey andddd i can’t think of anyone else rn
56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?
sadly
57: Do you use chap stick?
i will die without it
58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
i wanna say yes but also??? no??? perhaps
59: Do you have a little sister?
nahh
60: Have you ever been to New York?
yessss
61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
yes
62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?
yesssss
63: What were you doing at midnight last night?
recovering after watching mulan II
64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
a lil
65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
YESSSSSS
66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?
YESSSSSSSSSSS
67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
with someone elseeeeeee
69: Will next Friday be a good one?
its the day before my math final so Hopefully
whoever sent this ask i stg
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fahrminbrahmin · 7 years
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ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao
1. which eating disorder(s) do you have? 
tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?

2. when did you develop your eating disorder?
this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years

3. are you currently in recovery?
im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no

4. honestly, do you want to recover?
again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point

5. how are you doing today?
unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc

6. 5 safe foods?
lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.

7. 5 fear foods?
tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein

8. do you count calories?
yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao

9. what is your max calorie limit?
i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol

10. what is your height?
5′3″ / 161cm 

11. what is your ultimate goal weight?
it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho

12. are you trying to lose weight?
absolutely yes

13. have you ever been called “fat”?
honestly i cant even remember if i have or not

14. have you ever been called “too thin”?
ive been called ‘small’ but not too thin. the dream tbh

15. what is your current goal weight?
48.7kgs

16. what was your highest weight?
when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs

17. what was your lowest weight?
49.1kgs

18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?
im there rn 

19. does your family know about your eating disorder?
yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows

20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?
yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told

21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?
yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect

22. have any “free foods”?
lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea

23. how often do you weigh yourself?
every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol

24. thinspo or bonespo?
neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal

25. biggest problem area on your body?
my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

26. favourite part of your body?
tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo

27. what kind of results do you want to see?
booooooones!!

28. do you purge?
:/ yeah

29. do you take laxatives?
yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose

30. how often do you purge?
it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.

31. do you binge?
by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge

32. how long have you fasted for?
im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours

33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?
hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.

34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?
none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book

35. favourite thinspo picture?
again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it

36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?
ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here

37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?
Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it

38. what is your BMI?
currently, 19.1 
39. do you follow a diet?
yeah, as little calories as possible lmao

40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?
most if not all of it? its all i think about

41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?
yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA

42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?
c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool

43. meanspo or sweetspo?
not about the whole concept tbqh

44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?
the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin

45. ever been inpatient? 
/ 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?
nah but ive been threatened with it

49. are you currently in therapy?
yeah, individual therapy and DBT

50. what did you eat today?
a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao

51. are you scared about the holidays?
yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/

52. are your family/friends supportive?
kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself

53. have any other mental illnesses?
’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?

54. looking for ana buddies?
nopenopenope ill never encourage this

55. what is your current weight?
as of this morning: 49.1kgs
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yieniall · 7 years
Text
question tag
thanks for the tag @textingniall ! @bb-bambam @dongbangsoojjp @jacksonwangtastic @showyourdesire @beummieyoungie do it if you want :)
1| how old were you when you had your first kiss?
16  2| What made you decide to have a tumblr blog? for 1d and memes 3| Been depressed: yea. but im recovering well and generally much happier :) (if you ever wanna talk or need someone to listen to, dont hesitate to come to me!) 4| how many people have you fist fought? 0 5| do you want to have kids? how many? yea :) 2 or 3 6| Do you want to change your name: LOL yea. ok so my name is “iana” but i would like my name to be “ayana”, which would sound exactly the same but i like how it’s spelled phonetically and the spelling itself is prettier   7| Right or left handed: right 8| do you have piercings? how many? my ears are pierced (just one on each ear) but i dont like wearing earrings :/  9| who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom 10| do you believe in soulmates? lol i know i throw the word “soulmates” around quite loosely with jjp but i dont think about it a lot, actually! sure i guess, it’s a nice idea :) 
11| Zodiac sign: scorpio 12| Do you have a dream job? ok so when i was a kid my “dream job” (aka something that i would fantasize about but didnt/couldnt entertain as an actual career path) was to be a singer or actress lollll. but my career aspiration (aka what i am currently pursuing and think i will genuinely love) rn, is to go into public policy. currently, i wanna work in the government and focus on youth employment and social development. i also hope that i can publish academic articles while i work, specifically reviewing national and international policies 
^thats a kinda long answer bc it’s one of the most important things in my life rn and something i think about constantly. every time i read testimonials from graduates of the MPP program at my uni i get so excited (yet also nervous!) about this career path  13| A crush: nobody lol  14| What do you like about yourself: im filipina and i love my tan skin :) 15| Right now eating: nothing 16| who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my bff 17| Height: 5′0 /152cm 18| what is/are/were your best subject(s)?
law, economic sociology, political sociology
19| Met someone who changed you:
my gr12 philosophy teacher. i have/will always have the deepest respect and admiration for him. he was the first person to introduce the importance of intersectionality in my feminism and he taught me many invaluable critical thinking skills. he was so calm and patient and he ALWAYS listened to me. like sometimes he would give us study periods, and i would come to him with one question- and that question lead to 1.5hr discussion. and i learned a lot about his life too which was really fascinating. and then i would be late for chemistry and he would always take me to my class and apologize to my teacher for it. (ok needless to say.. pls dont misunderstand the nature of our relationship, he was like a mentor to me). 
^anyway, this is also kinda long bc i really do admire him so much. and i actually saw him again on my uni campus! i was like “sir?? what are you doing here?!” and apparently he was doing his phD. and it was so nice, before we parted he gave me a friendly hug and said “i’m glad to see you’re still happy and smiling” :’)
20| do you like someone: all my friends and family obvs :) 
21| I’m about to: go to bed!
22| do you believe everything happens for a reason? yes! but sometimes the reason isnt as meaningful as youd think so it’s often not worth dwelling on such things 23| Sports I joined: mmmm, most prominently: figure skating, cheerleading and swimming  24| what’s irritating you right now? nothing?? 25| do you give out second chances too easily? idk? i dont really feel like ive been purposefully hurt enough by anyone to say that keeping them in my life was me “giving them a second chance” 26| What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: maybe just wish i didnt lose my native dialect when i immigrated to canada :/ 27| are you mean? i hope not! i have my shortcomings im sure :( 28| Cried when someone died: when my neighbour passed away 💔 29| Blood type: O 30| If you could meet ANY Korean CELEBRITY (Includes Actors, Models, K-Music artists, etc.), who would it be? ahhhhhh well i feel so lucky to have met got7 :’) (no joke i think about that literally everyday) but i would love to meet them again and be less shy toward jaebum. id also LOOOOOOVE to meet NCT! and as for actors i would love to meet jung kyung ho and gong yoo
31| Birthday: October 30 32| Been drunk and thrown up: yea but LISTEN. my body doesnt take to alcohol well so im gonna throw up even with very little  33| are you scared of spiders? nah not really 34| What would you like to achieve (or experience) before the age of 60?
sooo many things. id like to achieve the career goals i mentioned above and id like to learn at least 2 more languages. and travel more. 
35| What do you wish for the most to happen? idkkkkk :o 36| is cheating ever okay? never 37| Do you have any pets: a dog!  38| When did you get into kpop and how? around september 2015 cuz i stumbled onto Just Right  39| Favorite animal? dogs! 40| Love at first sight: personally no? 41| how do you want to die? sleeping 42| Lips or eyes: eyes 43| Hair length: like? mine? to my boobs 44| would you go back in time if you were given the chance? literally just to relive meeting got7 lol 45| who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my dad 46| how exactly are you feeling at the moment? sleepy  47| Laughed until you cry: no i dont think so :o   48| favorite food? sooooo manyyyyy idk! 49| when was your last physical fight? never 50| Do you believe in yourself: working on it :)
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angel-shindo · 7 years
Note
1-61
Shallow:
1. Favorite color: Purple!
2. Height: Five feet two inches, i cri, im always mistaken for a freshman
3. Eye color: Blueish
4. Hair color: Naturally brown but rn its electric blue!
5. Age: 17
6. Piercings?: Used to have my ears done but they closed long ago!
7. Tattoos?: Not yet but the second i  turn 18 i will be getting one!
8. Favorite animal/pet: Hmmm, Pandas and dogs!
9. Favorite scent: Vannilla
10. What time is it?: 4:08 Pm! (holy damn)
Wading:
11. Favorite time of da: Nightime!
12.First pet: Two asshole dogs named Goliath and Bear who knocked me on my ass a lot
13. Siblings: Oldest of 8,, although only one full sibling, the rest are half, and im one of three girls
14. First car: None, but idc tbh
15. On a day like today you would...?: Nap or Skype, one of which im doing rn!
16. The last book you read: The Pact by Jodi Piccoult, second read but depressed me a lot tbh
17. The last text message you sent/received: Other than photos it was “Sounds good!” from @yoichisaohomo about Skyping!
18. Are you usually hot or cold: Hot tbh, which i hate
19. Pick one thing to your left, what does it mean to you: First thing i touched was my sisters cello, which i hate cause she sucks at it
20. Day or night and why: Night for sure, its quieter
Knee Deep:
21. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?: Hmmm i believe yesterday!
22. When was the last time someone told you they loved you: Also yesterday!
23. Who is your best friend and how did you meet: @yoichisaohomo, the short version is i was a bit of a fangirl and wrote her some porn before finally getting the courage to talk to her!
25. Do you get sick often: Not really tbh, but i had the flu Sunday thru Wednesday which was hell on earth
26. Do you live alone or with other people: My fam!
27. When was the last time you saw your family: Today
28. What do you want to achieve in the next year: Move to Canada!
29. Do you believe in true love: Definitly!
30. Have you ever been hurt by someone you thought cared about you: Time after time
To the Waist:
31. When was the last time you got hurt: Umm, last night when my dogs stepped on my thighs and bruised them
32. Have you ever hurt yourself: More than i care to admit, but ive been clean almost two months now!
33. What was the last fight you had about: This morning over breakfast, my sister was defending Trump and i got pissed
34. Has anyone told you they hated you: A few, yeah
35. Have you seen anyone die: Nope, not that i know of
36. What would you tell your younger self: Dont trust Cynthia
37. Would you skip the bad parts of your life to be successful: No, cause they made me who i am and i might not have the good parts if i did
38. What do you want to do with the rest of your life: Be with Kris
39. Have you left behind/ were you left behind in a friendship: Plenty of time on the latter end
Neck Deep:
41. Who would you want to meet again in your life: No one tbh
42. Why did you choose your career path: I didnt lmao
43. What is something you regret from your past: Cynthia
44. How much time is left at the end of your day: Ummm wat?
45. What was your last dream about: Some weird Harry Potter AU involving the murder of Mila from YOI, idk, i have a lot of nightmares lately
46. Have you ever hated someone and why: Oh sure, usually cause they were assholes to me or someone i cared about
47. Talk about your favorite family member: Im just gonna count blood for this to make it shorter. My dad is awesome, even when he does stupid shit
48. What is one thing you want to confess: Ummm, idk honestly, other than shit that doesnt need to be said on Tumblr, i got nothing tbh
49. Have you ever tried to take away your problems instead of deal with them: Yep
50. Who would you save- yourself or a stranger?: It would depend on the situation, to be honest
Head Under Water:
51. Have you been in love: Definitly!
52. Talk about someone in your life who has died: Honestly, no one i cared about has died, honestly. A couple of grandparents i didnt know and thats it
54. When was the last time you thought you were beautiful: Hah, never tbh
55. Have you ever had to recover after something: I mean, other than the large betrayel of some people, nothing physical
58. How do you fall asleep: Slowly and reluctantly cause of my nightmares
59. When was the last time you smiled and the last time you cried: Smiled: Idk probably sometime on skype. Cried: Last night, even if no one knew
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Is car insurance you buy online instant cover?
Is car insurance you buy online instant cover?
Hi, I m interested in buying a car at 4pm after a viewing. I would obviously have to set the insurance to start on today s date but does it happen instantly or does it not activate for hours/days? Just being careful because I dont want to be stopped! It s with Igo insurance btw thanks
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Hi, I m interested in buying a car at 4pm after a viewing. I would obviously have to set the insurance to start on today s date but does it happen instantly or does it not activate for hours/days? Just being careful because I dont want to be stopped! It s with Igo insurance btw thanks
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Hi, I m interested in buying a car at 4pm after a viewing. I would obviously have to set the insurance to start on today s date but does it happen instantly or does it not activate for hours/days? Just being careful because I dont want to be stopped! It s with Igo insurance btw thanks
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imnotsebastiansten · 6 years
Text
3
1 - Who was the last person you texted? i sent a video to a groupchat and i was left on read
2 - When is your birthday? december 31
3 - Who do you want to be with right now? i honestly dont know, id like to see my grandparents cat, that would be cool
4 - What sports do you play? i dont play any
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? my mom 6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? katatonia soils song
7 - If you were stranded on an island with your best friend and ex best friend, how would you feel? it would be kind of weird i guess, but it would be fine idk
8 - What do you feel right now? idk man im tired i kinda wanna take a nap
9 - What chocolate is your favorite? literally any chocolate i dont care
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? none
11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? well i created my first one in like 2014 i think because i was curious and didnt know what tumblr was
12 - Do you have a Facebook? yes
13 - Where do you want to be right now? im in my room so idk im fine
14 - What do you want to be in the future? not sure, something cinema related probably
15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? cant remember
16 - Are you happy? nah
17 - Who do you miss? quite a lot of people because i suck at maintaining relationships
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? i mean there are some aspects id like to change so yes i guess
19 - What was the best thing you were given? idk man probably my sebastian stan autograph but i kinda gave that to myself because i waited for him next to a door to know i wont miss him so i have no clue man
20 - Who was the last person who called you? probably my mom
21 - What is your favorite dish? lasagna damn
22 - Who is your bestfriend? dont have one
23 - What is your biggest regret? every single decision ive ever took mostly
24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? no
25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? no one
26 - Name someone pretty: Hale Appleman and Jason Ralph
27 - Who was the last person you hugged? a classmate, mada
28 - What kind of music do you listen to? alternative mostly
29 - Are you over your past? no
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? a classmate
31 - What kind of person do you want to date? someone id get along with duuh
32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? nah
33 - From whom was the last text message you received? well two friends talked in our groupchat last night
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? jeans
35 - How’s your heart? idk man ask her
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “C”? no
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? not really
38 - What would you do if you were stuck in a vault with your current boyfriend/girlfriend and your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend? well idk man i dont even have a current boyfriend or an ex
39 - Do you have any phobias? sort of
40 - Did you try to change for a person? yes, and i did and i kinda lied to myself in the past but i think im over that period now and im more real
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? idk i put quite a lot of effort into the presents i give people so i hope every single person who has ever received something from me liked it
42 - Have you ever been backstabbed by a “friend”? fuck yes oof 
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? im neutral
44 - Name the people you can’t live without: ummm 
45 - Describe your worst nightmare: the magicians getting canceled
46 - Describe your best dream: the magicians cast coming to east european comic con :(
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
48 - Have you ever been kissed? yes 
49 - How long is your longest relationship? welp
50 - Do you regret your past? some bits of it yes
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? yes oof
52 - Have you ever cried over someone? yes
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? yes, sort of
54 - Are you a crybaby? only on the inside, thanks cancer moon
55 - Do people praise you for your looks? nope, they only tell me they like my hair sometimes
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? hell yes but ithink im kinda over it now 
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? yes oof im a shitty person so i do that more often than i should
58 - Do you like getting hurt? ehh no
59 - Does anyone hate you? i hope not, i dont think ive ever had an impact big enough on someones life to make them hate me
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “A”? yes
61 - What hair color do you prefer? literally any color, rn i really like dark hair
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? id make myself skinnier
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? i guess
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? 
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school/college/workplace? i mean yes, there are people who annoy the fuck out of me but i can ignore them because i dont have any reasons to waste my time on them
66 - Can you live without internet? yes
67 - What’s the song that reminds you of the person you like? rise against - saviour and until the ribbon breaks - one way or another
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? hell yes
69 - Do you think first before you speak? usually yes
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? i guess
71 - Are you a fan of musicals? yes, they are pretty cool, but i dont think i know enough musicals to call myself a fan
72 - Do you study hard? i mean yes because i wanna keep my scholarship
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? i dont think so
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? no
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? yes 
76 - Did you have an accident last year? no
77 - What kind of person are you? annoying probably
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? who hasnt
79 - Have you ever been jealous? way more often than i should unfortunately
80 - How many jobs do you have? none at the moment
81 - What are you thinking right now? that i should stop procrastinating and start cleaning my room
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? anna
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? nah, i dont think i wanna erase anything
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? i mean i think maybe
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? yes
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? yes
87 - Do you have trust issues? fuck yes
88 - Are you broken-hearted? trying to recover
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? maybe in some cases
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? not really
92 - What do you want to do this weekend? just relax because i wont have time to do that next week
93 - Do you believe in destiny? ehh
94 - Have you ever thought “I am unloveable”? yes
95 - How do you look right now? like a mess
96 - Do you believe that things will get better? maybe one day, that would be pretty cool
97 - Have you ever drunk dialed someone? no
98 - What should you be doing right now? cleaning my room
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends: never had one!!
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? always
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