(Content warning: abuse mentions, craving abuse, objectification/dehumanization, extreme idolization, delusions of grandiosity, victim complex, God complex, etc.)
NPD + BPD culture is wanting someone who is God-like in your eyes to hurt you and abuse you over and over again... because you are a toy. You only exist to be the best at suffering. There is superiority and honour in suffering for someone who you would devote your every being to. It's feeling like you only exist to suffer, and that that's a delightful and extraordinary thing. Honestly, I know this sounds like a twisted version of grandiose delusions but... I genuinely feel this way. I crave to be the victim, to be used. That's all I know from the trauma I went through. :(
my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
imagine being someone at new rome university and not knowing percy is the same guy as “percy jackson, son of poseidon, two-time hero of olympus, former praetor” because the thought doesn’t even cross your mind. like… he’s percy. he’s a total frat boy. on a normal night, he walks into a party, refers to everyone as bro or dude, socializes with every living (and not-living) person in the room, makes at least 50 sarcastic comments, plays 12 rounds of beer pong, drinks way too much, and then skates around campus on his skateboard yelling “I LOVE NEW YORK” (which makes no sense, because they’re in california) until someone calls his girlfriend to come get him.
and then one day there’s an attack, and frat boy percy is all of a sudden a fighting machine. he’s yelling battle cries alongside the praetors frank zhang and hazel levesque as they lead everyone into battle. (why is he with the praetors? and why…. why in the world do the praetors seem to be following his lead?) his sword slashes through armies of monsters faster than you’ve ever seen. he’s controlling the entire river surrounding the camp, creating huge waves as tall as skyscrapers that crash down all around him, wiping out monsters and causing mass destruction to his enemies’ ranks. the sky is suddenly dark above you, ice-cold water droplets are slashing through the air, and the wind is blowing so aggressively that it’s making it hard to stand up steadily. because he’s somehow created a hurricane.
and he looks terrifying. you can feel the power radiating off of him. he’s like a god. or maybe a monster. it’s hard to tell. you’re a little scared of him, to be honest. but also in total awe, because it’s extraordinary. he’s extraordinary.
*booktok voice* Do you want to read a gay story about two guys who speedrun enemies to lovers, go against their designed nature by being together, who become unstoppable fighting side by side to much dismay of the gods who created them? Do you want to see one of them eaten alive by the grief for his lover when he dies from a godsent sickness? A book about someone fighting so hard for a chance at eternal life that he doesn't notice he is throwing away the precious time he has got, filling it with agony? Well, in the 2100 BCE poem of Gilgamesh-
Silly little narumitsu kiss based on something vicky tweeted
[Screeenshot ID: A screenshot with the text “When I leaned in to kiss him and he threw his hands in the air and said “yay” before we started making out” quote tweeted with the addition of “Phoenix Wright” from twitter user vanilla_mp3. End ID.]
Tubbo: [Very drunk and sleep-deprived] Aw you didn't kill Pac he's just a–
Foolish: We tried!
Tubbo: –a life-loving boy! He's just a boy that loves life! It's not his fault he's in love with FitMC, you just gotta let him– let that love flourish and bloom, you know?
Bad: They're in love?
Tubbo: ...No. You didn't hear that from me! They're roommates, they're roommates, they're roommates.
[start id: a black and white drawing cropped from p.29 of the Usborne Guide to Computer and Video Games (1982). The image shows a chessboard with lights and mechanical arm built in.
Image caption reads: "The robot arm on this chess-board makes all the computer's moves, and removes your pieces when the computer captures them. If the computer loses the game, it flings its arm about, flashes its lights and shrieks." end id.]
I assumed this emotionally dysregulated chess robot was just a 1980s fever dream, but apparently it exists, and glories in the name of "The Novag Robot Adversary":
Quoth the gorgeously Web 1.0 (but still updating in 2023?!) Chess Computer UK:
The Novag Robot Adversary is the most iconic of chess computers. There are several reasons. Firstly, for a product of 1982, its startling futuristic appearance. Secondly the robot arm which in terms of robotic character, comparative speed and range of movement is extraordinary for a consumer product. Thirdly the variety of functions - including autoplay, automatic setting up of the pieces for a new game, trace and review, best move, sound, lights, printer support, and not forgetting the tantrums produced by the ‘emotions’ button which involve waving of the arm, flashing lights and noisy sound. These functions all contribute towards a very impressive and entertaining machine, which was outstanding when it was first sold, and has not been bettered since.
That page also has videos of the machine in action, including this heart-rending footage of it losing its shit: