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#why i write
fishwithtitz · 5 months
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To those…
that scroll through my page to see what I enjoy
that, despite their depression, crack a smile for the first time in days at something I share or write before scrolling on
that “like” a post to save it for later
that feel a sense of joy, or paralyzing engagement, or even arousal at my writing
that laugh when I shit post
that reblog my work to share their excitement
that leave me long messages in my asks outlining what they appreciate about me as a writer and thinker
that share gifs with me
that enjoy my work and click the “like” button to show their appreciation
that run over to ao3 to read my stories and bookmark/subscribe/leave kudos/comment
that send me fic requests and asks
that message me through Tumblr messenger or Discord to talk about OCs and writing ideas
that beta my writing
that lurk my blog and read without any trace of them being there
…you are why I do this. I love this fandom, and yet I realize that it doesn’t owe me a damn thing. Do I live for the notes and messages and asks and comments and kudos? Absofuckinglutely. Feedback is like crack to me. Is it required currency for me to create? No.
I am not the kind of writer that can pump out chapter after chapter of writing or idea after idea of stories that spread like wildfire. I’m learning to accept that about myself. This is a hobby, as it should be, and I love to read and create with others on this app. I’ve met so many lovely friends and have been exposed to new and exciting things. Isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t it be?
All I ask is that you enjoy yourself in what I create and continue to spread the creativity yourself.
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poetrybyonur · 1 year
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This is why I read, but also why I write. Because I hope to touch souls even when I’m no longer alive.
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inksplashgirl · 11 months
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Mine
I slice my soul
into this page
and these words aren’t much
But they’re mine.
These poems are the flames of my anguish
the spark of my light, the tone of my voice
They are mine.
This wound in my heart is pouring ink
into a perfect picture
on a tired paper
and they’re mine.
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Note
I really must thank you for opening my eyes to how the Hetalia women can just be as interesting as the men can be.
Before I found your blog, I didn't pay them any mind. But after reading through your HCs of Zee, I found that I grew more and more appreciative of the ladies and their stories and struggles, and now I find myself much more willing to write female centric stories as opposed to before.
So once again, thank you so much!
Oh fucken hell anon I got all weepy. I'm really glad to hear that. And thank you so, so much for telling me 😭. Keep writing!!!!
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abrighterspark · 5 months
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i pick a moment
to freeze in time
to share in poems
and seal in rhyme
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thatonebirdwrites · 6 months
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Thoughts about fandoms and Writing
I suppose this will be a ramble of sorts. I wanted to talk about a sad thing I noticed but also a good thing I noticed about fandoms. This is a ramble, and I hope it all connects into a coherent whole by the end.
I'll start with the question I leave at the end. The question that my writing silently asks all readers:
"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"
One of the things that drew me to various fandoms, and my current one was a sense of connection. A sense of community, but I've also learned that despite this strength, there is an underlying undercurrent of who is allowed to exist in that community.
Part of writing fanfiction is because we want to see more of our beloved characters. To dig deeper into them, to fulfill this need for connection.
Because that's the crux of most things about us human beings, right? We are social beings that live best when we have connections with other human beings. None of us can live in a perfect isolation with no contact with anyone else ever (in fact studies show this is very, very, very bad for our health and can slowly kill us).
Yet, as a disabled person, I find myself stuck in this weird liminal space of seeking connection but sometimes finding instead reminders of how conditional my existence in the space truly is.
I notice that the stories willing to push the envelope a little, to explore what it'd be like if one of our beloved characters was disabled, often get far more harsh comments and far less support.
I've sat back and observed, and the more I interact with fandoms, the more I wonder if there is room for people like me.
I've seen some pushback in various fandoms -- even TLOK -- against people who want to explore our beloved characters in settings that allow for a more diverse intersection of identities. That tackle themes related to disability, gender identity, race, and so forth. To tackle more nuanced Leftist thought (that isn't displayed like a bad thing which TLOK sadly does at times).
This saddens me because that sort of pushback breaks the connection and community of fandoms in a way.
The whole reason I'm writing fanfiction is because I couldn't quite find the story I wanted to read. There's a lot of flaws in Legend of Korra, and I wanted to tackle the stories inherent in it from a different angle. To explore themes left unexplored. But also to show the shared moments Korra and Asami have. (They are legit my favorite couple of all time).
But I just don't feel very comfortable writing smut. I never have, so I'm already an outlier in the fanfiction writer community.
But I've realized of late that I also because an outlier with how I explore disability in my fanfiction.
Honestly Book 3 of TLOK sets the disability theme up, and although it does an excellent job with the PTSD arc, the way the temporary physical disability was handled during Korra's long healing left me quite frustrated because it utilized verbiage that's often used to demonize or deny disabled people support. No, it's not all in Korra's head (we find out later, that she really did still have poison in her, so Korra was right THE WHOLE TIME). No, it's not a mind over matter (this is the most unhelpful thing to say to a disabled person, seriously). No physical therapy can't cure all things. *sighs* I wanted more nuance there, and since it failed to deliver, I decided to write my own.
I also wanted to dig deep into Asami's story too because sadly enough TLOK doesn't give her the attention her and her trauma deserves.
So I have two separate series. One canon-compliant to explore the ramifications of that.
One an AU where Korra and Asami are romantically together by middle of Book 2, where they must navigate Book 3 and the trauma of that together. How do they do it? Can they do it? What sort of disability will they face and how will they deal with that?
I recognize what I write is not what most folks want from the fandom, and I feel like sometimes there is this unspoken undercurrent in the fandom to not really dig into the disability themes inherent in TLOK.
I think this is why commenters literally had a fight in the comments of my Shared Moments: Book 3. I had taken the disability theme in Book 3 (and 4) and made it highly visible. I had foreshadowed this quite thoroughly in all honesty.
I had made it clear from the start of the series that I promised to be realistic about trauma, about physical injuries, and about healing. Sure, I took some liberties in fight scenes to play up some interesting martial art moves that actually exist, but there's always ramifications and consequences.
I think in a way the fight that happened in my Book 3 (at the final confrontation with Zaheer's group) exemplifies the hidden current of ableism within the fandom.
Asami had barely escaped the lavabender and had a fourth-degree burn on the sole of her right foot. Those are when the burn destroys the nerves and can go as deep as the bone. They are quick to become infected if not treated right away, and in Asami's case, there was no way for it to be treated until after the airbenders are rescued. TLOK is set in a technological and medical period similar to 1940s, so the typical solution in that time period is amputation.
I'd carefully laid out details like crumbs for readers to find that heavily hints that this could be one of the possible outcomes.
Nothing about it was surprising.
And yet, two commenters were angry that one of the characters would end up permanently disabled. They utilized a harmful ableist trope, ignored the story up to that point, and demanded I alter the story because they deemed Asami's injury "unnecessary for the narration" and "too much."
Truth is, as much as I tried not to let it hurt me, it did.
Why? Because I'm disabled. I've had injuries due to circumstances where I didn't receive the healthcare I needed in time to prevent the injury and illness from worsening. I've been in Asami and Korra's shoes in a way.
Being told that a story that mirrored my own, that mirrored the lives of so many disabled people is "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" is a vivid reminder of how deep ableism has fallen into the psyche of our society.
Most folks wouldn't consider that ableist, and yet, if the same words were said about queer identities? If someone said that Korra and Asami being bisexual is "unnecessary for the narration" or "too much" there would be riots in the TLOK fandom. (In fact, I sometimes still witness some between Makorra shippers versus Korrasami shippers, where it doesn't seem to matter that Korrasami is canon to the Makorra folks, they get incensed and fall back on biphobic language. Only to be rightly called out for the harm of it.)
So why aren't we standing up for disabled people?
The Legend of Korra is a survivor story. It's a disability story. Complex-PTSD that Korra has is a disability. Acute-PTSD, which is likely what Asami has, is also a disability.
Disability is not bad. It is not evil. It's not too much.
Disability is beautiful. It should be normalized as just part of who a person is. We, disabled people, can do great things despite our disability.
And yet, those commenters couldn't see that.
All they could see was their beloved character would be permanently disabled. Their unconscious bias reared its head, and they lashed out in a way that hurt. (And also angered several other commenters who kindly called them out).
They were angry at being forced to confront the fact that their beloved character was now in the category of "disabled." It required them to relate -- to connect -- to a disabled person as a human being.
That's the moment of truth isn't it?
When someone is forced to relate to another person as a human being worthy of respect and dignity, that is when we discover the true character of a person I think.
Disabled people like myself are often treated like we are sub-human. Like we don't matter, like it'd be better if we ceased to exist. (I can give dozens of examples, but I think how the pandemic is currently being handled is a blatant look at how ableism is structured in our society and how much it harms all of us.)
Society saturates our media with messages of how disabled people are less than, sub-human, unworthy of life, unworthy of being allowd to even participate in society. Often the only way we are allowed to exist at all is if we are displayed as an "inspiration," something for which abled-bodied people to oogle and feel good about themselves for "helping" us "get over" or "cure" our disability, as if our disability is a problem to be solved rather than something that can be both painful but also beautiful. (I often try to see the beauty in my ADHD, my APD, my autoimmune illness. And yes, for LongCovid in particular, I may wish for a cure for my LongCovid, but I can also recognize the beauty within my illness - I see the world differently and that lens allows me to connect in new ways and to show more kindness and love in different ways. That too is beauty).
The harmful messages about disabled people are everywhere, and we often unconsciously absorb them.
I try to do my best to respond with kindness. To even try to educate when I can, but I also have to have a firm boundary because I'm a human being.
I don't have enough energy to tackle educating people about this AND doing what I need to survive.
And for me, writing is survival.
I think the reason it hurt to see ableism at play in the fandom was because I had been thinking maybe I might actually belong to a group for once. That maybe I would be treated as a human being, who has a talent for something.
But seeing the words "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" in the comments, brought out not only my insecurities, but a reminder of just how fucking hard it is to write diverse characters.
I've never written fanfiction before 2021.
I'm a science fiction (and sometimes fantasy) author, though at the moment it's only short stories that have been published.
Do you know how many times I've heard those harmful phrases said while I trying to get my original stories published?
Editors would tell me:
"Your character being nonbinary is unnecessary for the narration." Or "It's too much to have a nonbinary character. You should just choose a gender and we'll consider it."
OR
"Why is this character disabled? It seems unnecessary for the narration. Just eliminate them and rewrite it."
It didn't matter that the disability was crucial to the character and her understanding of the world and how she navigated it. (Or that she was literally the protagonist.)
It didn't matter that the nonbinary person's identity was crucial to their character, their understanding of the world, and how others related to them.
It didn't matter even if it was crucial to the plot.
All that mattered was that the editors were uncomfortable with characters that didn't match the ideal human they decided was the only allowed protagonist.
In a way, they were saying that people like me didn't deserve to have our stories told. To be recognized and seen as protagonists, as human beings to which readers could connect.
Is fandom any different?
Maybe there are readers who enjoy what I write, but sometimes I see so much of the content of fandom, and this intense demand for an ideal form of human, and I don't see myself.
I don't see myself and those like me being accepted as we are. Where we are worthy of connection too.
So I create that representation; I carefully weave a story so everything is set up, foreshadowed, makes sense in the characterization and narration, and I come face to face with the blatant ableism, blatant transphobia, and sometimes even blatant biphobia.
And it's a reminder that even while I try to find comfort and solace and a safe place to recover from my own illness and from the world at large...
... in the end, it's hard to feel like there will ever be acceptance. It's hard to feel like the fandom is willing to treat people like me as a human worthy of respect and dignity.
Because that's the thing, isn't it?
When people see me in my wheelchair, they don't see a person. They see a thing. A sub-human to be pitied. I get touched in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied. My wheelchair gets moved in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied (that wheelchair is an extension of my body and touching it without my consent is touching me without consent). I get sneers sometimes. I get people staring at me like I'm some carnival show.
It's tiresome. It's hurtful. It isolates.
To have a beloved character end up in a wheelchair, or end up with a prosthetic?
People are forced to face their own ableism. They are forced to see the ugliness they display toward me and those like me. Because now their beloved character is one of my people.
And the anger that is hurled at me for doing this is honestly ridiculous. Exhausting too.
People don't like being uncomfortable, but we cannot grow if we're not uncomfortable. We cannot become better than we were unless we confront the things that break our ability to connect.
i write because I want people to connect. I want people to understand ways of being that is unlike their own, and to come to understand that we are all human beings. We all are worthy and deserving of respect and dignity. We all deserve to be seen and accepted where we are.
Those are the stories I love the most. The ones that build up and not tear down.
And perhaps that is why I will never truly fit in. Because I refuse to sit down and make myself small enough to fit in. Because I prefer to dig into the reality of our differences and how those differences are actually our similarities and our biggest strengths.
It is our diversity that is our strength. It's also how we connect, how we find our similarities, because even in our beautiful galaxy of identities, we all have similar human needs and qualities that shine through.
We are all made of stardust. We are all social beings. We all strive for some level of connection, and although the layers of that may differ for each of us, that human need to connect cannot be truly erased or ignored.
I'll end where I began, with the great question my writings always silently ask readers:
"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"
And honestly, that's why I write.
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7-percent · 1 year
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Hello... I normally don't interact with anyone because I honestly don't know half of the times how to navigate a conversation and fear that I'll end up saying something offensive.
However, after reading your most recent post about autistic Sherlock, I felt that I had to say this.
I'm an autistic young adult (with ADHD too) and your writings are extremely impactful to me. I have to admit sometimes a few lines hit too close to home but they are a soothing balm as well. I can't honestly believe you are not on the Spectrum and yet create such a realistic and understanding portrayal of ASD better than most media and organisations who claim to understand Autism.
Your writings and some other authors who write Autistic Sherlock have played a huge role in finally letting myself acknowledge my Autism. I haven't been quite lucky in my life as my family and acquaintances resent my nd tendencies and try to ignore the existence of one of the key parts of my identity. But reading John, Mycroft and Lestrade's acceptance of Sherlock and trying to take care of his needs and mental health gives me so much happiness. I sometimes like to pretend that my close ones are loving me through these stories. Unhealthy coping mechanism, I know, but it is what it is. :)
So, thank you for the fantastic work that you do (and also some others). It means a lot.
P.s. Pardon my mistakes as I'm not a native English speaker
THANK YOU
Whatever I may have done by writing on Ao3 and posting here on tumblr, YOU are the reason why I keep writing. Thank you for your bravery and for being willing to speak out, no matter how rarely you might interact with anyone online or in person.
Thank you for your honesty. I so agree that every individual on the Spectrum is just that - an individual. My Sherlock isn't everyone's cup of tea and a lot of people who are on the Spectrum may not recognise themselves in how I write him or relate to how I write him. The fact that you do even in part and (more important) take comfort from the stories, is just... well, 
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Let me thank you too for seeing that the purpose of my writing is to raise awareness, turn that into respect, and show how acceptance of ND persons enriches EVERYONE's lives.
I hope you find the people you need, the respect you deserve, the support and love that are due to you.
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blackwomanwriter · 2 years
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My goal in this lifeline is to write someone’s favorite book. I want to write the book that you gush over and ramble about to strangers. I want to write the book that you highlight paragraphs and mark chapters to go back and read on a bad day. The book you recite and daydream about. The book that inspires your next tattoo or changes how you move through life. The book you reread like it’s the first time even though you know the ending. I want to write a book that makes someone realize they are not alone in this world. I want to write a book…
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palladiumfragments · 1 year
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palladium
unmoored, far away, like a weatherworn canoe on a misty, ghost-gray lake. this body is a cage infested with fever dreams that keeps forgetting what the ground feels like. set half the metropolis on fire at dawn and i wouldn't notice until i'm waiting for the last train home. this constant disconnection with the world is eating away the lifelines that snaps me out of sleepwalks into the dark. like a riptide it comes, and in the morning the sea spits out a body brimming with words it can never say out loud. viridian veins turned to auroras, gods sprang out of my bedroom floor. i understand now why we bleed and die for love. these words have brought fallen cities back to my hands, beaming brighter than the pleiades over their ivied battlements. my words, the palladium they can never take away. storm out of this chest when the winter bitters but don't run too far. i have loved the sea all my life but nothing compares to how i call out to your waters.
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notsohots-blog · 1 year
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"I write because I want to know myself why I write - without writing this question cannot be answered. This is actually the true answer. It is only by writing that the writer recognizes the internal compulsion due to which he wrote – and only by writing does he become free from it."
Translated from the book "मैं क्यों लिखता हूं?" (Why I Write?) by Agyeya.
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miroysprose · 5 months
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Why I write?
I wanted to share this on my author blog for Tumblr because I seriously don't have enough time to say it anywhere else and deal with people.
I am tired of not being listened to. I don't want to be one authority, I want to be a voice in a million of them, but a voice that matters too. I know many people will say, "try harder, be better", but I have. For months, i worked my tail off trying to publish, market, write, make good plot, make stories, and continue this career self-published but... for naught.
I am not listened to by relatives, by friends, by teachers, and by strangers. I noticed that they take many of my disabilities into account, yet still believe that I am this person who does everything on purpose. I am an emotional author. I put heart and soul into my work, and when it is not... seen or heard, I believe that a shard of me is lost.
In an growing world that prioritizes AI, Robotics, and new technology- my months of work are nothing. Other work can be copied and pasted everywhere and they'd still be number one. So I tell myself, that I am someone who will simply be underground. That's all I'll get. And... I'm happy with that. I'm okay with being an underground author. I like feeding those too imaginative, I like making books for those too sick, and those too crazy, and those too character oriented. I love people who can understand me, and I can understand them. I love those people. I love the people who purchase my books because I can pinpoint their exact tastes.
This is why I write now. This is my purpose. I said earlier that my purpose in life was mermaid xenofiction. It's not, not anymore. My purpose is to be an underground author, to be happy, and to find those who are too old to care about a 9 page essay you make about apocalyptic dogs lore, I want those people are too cringe to find themselves in a character just like them, I want to find the edgiest persons and shippers who don't know what the hell they are doing. I want to be listened to, by the right people. Because some of you don't deserve me. And that's okay.
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cleosven · 1 year
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Why Tylorpe
Why do I (like me specifically) write tylorpe? 
Tyler x Xavier:
Tyler and Xavier together? They make a lot of sense to me as a ship to write because they have so much in common with their trauma/manipulation (and how Wednesday and their fathers turned her back on them). 
They have a history with the mural and the assault. And they had a connection the whole show (the paintings and the glares/eye rolls/fake rivalry). And with Tyler theoretically on the loose, Xavier is bound to dream where he goes next.
That mental bond between them is cannon, and even if their romance will (likely) never be cannon, it’s perfect fuel for writing fanfiction. Especially because they had so few on-screen interactions, I get to shape how they interact in a variety of ways, and play around with it.
(Eight more sections below; I’m aware it’s a lot, but it’s fun idk; warning: I vaguely mention abuse a few times)
Easy form Canon to AU’s:
With a relationship this implied but not shown in cannon, I can write a book where they have secret crushes on each other from the start, or they hate each other at the start. They could become friends, unwilling co-heros, or lovers by the end, and there won’t be many scenes to contradict the plausibility of how these interactions play out, as long as the characters and the setting stand their ground, it can make the book feel very real.
But I still have the option to write crazy AUs like in any other ship. Especially because they are two (basically) humans set in the current time period, I can more easily translate them to the past or future or to a simple high school au, or to a whole new magic system - which can be harder for me in other fandoms. 
For example if I tried writing Sherlock as an American in 2100, or writing Spock as an Australian teenager in the 90′s- it can get wonky in translation for me because I’m not as familiar with the source (britishness and space ig). This setting of Jericho in 2022 is (roughly) in my home turf, so I can easily practice writing Tyler and Xavier in different settings or situations the show isn’t interested in pursuing.
History of abuse:
I relate to characters like Tyler and Xavier who have been manipulated and abused, so they are easier to write because I get far more invested in them.
And the fact that some people in the fandom don’t like their characters actually makes me even more invested. I feel like all the criticism for their characters applies to me as well. I feel evil for doing evil things under someone else’s control (tyler), and boring for hiding my pain and staying out of the spotlight in my friend group(Xavier), and I feel fake, like my whole life was designed on a whim to be a prop in other people’s story of emotional growth (criticism I’ve heard for both of them).
By writing these characters as real people, I feel like I can do them justice while uncovering my past and fighting my misbeliefs along the way. 
Relating to a story:
So many shows have manipulated/abused characters, but I often can’t relate to them because they fight back and win, (often fairly easily in the face of world-ending doom), with lots of help from peers, mentors, and destiny. And that’s not my story, and I think there is enough of that going around that I don’t personally have to explore it rn.
I see the plot of a ‘teenage chosen one taking on the world and winning.’ And I am drawn to them because they are teenagers/young adults in a world they don’t understand (in their case because magic or mystery) but it’s still a world I have stakes in, which I relate to. 
But I need more stories about the people who didn’t have the help they needed right away. I want to see someone living a full life while recovering from the fighting the unexplainable as well as the mundane battles in life. And I feel like Tyler and Xavier meet that criteria.
I need magic and mystery:
But I still need the story to be told through a guise of a world with magic because it keeps me from relating so much that I’m just living my own life again. I want the to see the same themes as my life, but a clearly different setting or plot that I can explore.
And the magic and mystery being thrown in help me remember that I don’t know everything about life, so it feels like there is hope and opportunity around every corner.
Timing the aftermath:
And these magical YA shows also usually end dramatically before you see the aftermath of them dealing with how their life has changed. Theoretically the aftermath is not exciting. But I think that it can be. Not every hero has to be bright eyed and innocent at the start of the story. They can have a past, and I think that makes them far more interesting. But this whole show Tyler and Xavier are dealing with their aftermath (and the whole next season will be about this too!).
Tyler’s trauma:
Tyler’s trauma is revealed at the end, but it began before the show started. And his trauma is still ongoing, and that resonates with me. We don’t know if Laurel is gone forever and idk if I’m in the clear either, but rooting for Tyler also helps me root for myself.
Tyler was just an everyday barista in a small town who lives in a single-parent household. All that everyday stuff plus his trauma was there in him, weighing him down every time he smiled, laughed, joked, or spent a week on latte art. But he still managed to do those things. And that complexity just feels very real, and it draws me in.
Xavier’s trauma:
Xavier’s trauma was never shown explicitly, and that makes him an amazing character for me. I can’t always remember what happened, but I can feel the aftermath. Xavier has clear themes: not being believed (being locked up by Wednesday and so many other things), not trusting his own feelings (Bianca), and his need to appear fine (from his father’s PR demand). And all of that is such a comparatively small part of the show, but it’s just so important to me. 
I relate so much to Xavier’s character in these ways. I withdraw and I don’t know if it’s therapy or hiding from the world (like his art shed), put my hopes on people as a form of self-sabotage (his crush on Wednesday that he knew was doomed), and I react in strange and surprising ways due to my internal conflict (like Xavier giving Tyler the scarf; hiding the hyde paintings).
Xavier gets out of jail at the end, but his relationship with Bianca and Tyler and even Wednesday are all still basically unresolved. And that opens up my options as a writer on the other end. I can write the trauma, and I can write the outcomes. But the show set up a really good character somewhere in there between snarky comments, school dances, and genocidal zombies. 
Queerness is powerful:
And of course, I also write tylorpe because I love queer ships. I’m a masculine-type person who likes masculine-type people(not exclusively, but it’s up there), so that’s a big part of why I write tylorpe over wenclair. 
I don’t always include the conflict of sexual orientation/gender identity in my writing, but it always adds another emotional dimensions for me. Everyone can relate to not knowing who they are, or not accepting parts of themself because of others opinions. And most can relate to the struggle of finally realizing who you are and wanting to be loved for it. But not everyone is there yet, and I’m not always there, so I like having the reminder. 
To me, that queer inner conflict always feels more powerful than two people who know who they are, and what they want and then they just get it. I want and emotional journey of self discovery, and I prefer it to be about queer matters over other forms of identity crisis, because I understand it more, so I feel like I can tell a better story with it, and get more out of it.
I also love writing coming out scenes, and it’s nice to show examples of characters being in love and happy with or without their parents approval, because all those stories need to be told. But I also like writing in a world were there is no stigma, and they just become partners and everyone is happy for them, and maybe the journey was just one of self discovery, instead of a battle to overcome others baseless fears.
--
So yeah, that’s what’s on my mind today, and that’s why I’m writing tylorpe again....Thank you for coming to my tylorpe class today lol <3 
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poetrybyonur · 1 year
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Whether we write from imagination or from our own personal experience, or that of someone else, there is always a story behind each poem, each word, each paragraph. There are people veiled between the lines, characters hiding behind each letter, a feeling playing like a musical score behind every piece a poet writes.
A piece I wrote ages ago back in 2017, that I redid. Music by The Ambientalist.
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inksplashgirl · 11 months
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Words Live
From the second I started
to really read
I breathed words
and stories
and I wanted to weave
my own
And I read about
a nun who’s pen
sang with truth
as she told the world
the brilliance of women
and they forced her
to leave her paper
and never write her
beautiful words
again.
But
her words live
still
and so
will mine.
And that’s why I write.
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I think my favourite fiction of yours is the Summoning. It's written beautifully. I adore that love Alasdair bears for Matt, enough to raise the dead and ask the impossible. And the gulf between him and his mother is so tenderly painful. The layers of formality; the misunderstandings of time. It's perfect. I have to ask though: do Rhys and Arthur follow through on her request (or does Alasdair keep the visit to himself?)
AWW thank you! That was honestly one of the best things I've ever written. Being outside of time but also so anchored in this 17th century world where everything is fire, blood and witchcraft carved out of them all. Eirian is there, a shadow of who she was, existing in the nightlands, this land of the dead only to occasionally walk between worlds and into the realm of the living because the only thing that can are ideas, and love might be the strongest idea there is.
And they do! Not specifically because he relayed that message, I think he might have kept that to himself because their world is one where by and large, any attachment is a screaming weakness. Brighid, Alasdair and Rhys have a somewhat easier time connecting with their mother, they could probably do it semi-regularly just to catch up if they wanted. They still speak languages that descend from hers, the celtic fringe that survives every day. Pictish, probably closer related to Welsh and Cumbric than Gaelic, was kind of torn from him in late antiquity and the early middle ages but it was replaced by Gaelic, his form of what was Brighid's language. Those three are kind of laced into each other. Invasions and counter invasions, defined by degrees of alienation from the imperial core that Arthur represents.
Arthur's inheritance is largely dead. His people never were completely usurped by the Germanic speaking peoples who formed England, but the words are gone, with only a handful remaining for him to use to name things he loves in at least a twisted way, the way his mother loved him. So its harder, I think, to look that far into the past, that far beyond the world Arthur had more hand in shaping than maybe the rest of them combined. He, like his siblings sees his mother in whatever space-time exists between this life and the next. She's a part of the tether that keeps them constantly on the balance between human and not, alive and not, real and not. The only difference being that it's the main way he sees her because dying is so much easier than unlocking things he could feel and speak in a language gone from this world. His mother is almost entirely reserved for those places. When crushed into the depths by a shipwreck under unfathomable pressure, rolling out of a plague cart, looking up at the heavens from some godforsaken rock of his second son or second empire. He sees her in the places where his arrogance and his over confidence has laid him bare to human consequences of cold, exposure and hunger. Mirages of what the Romans named barbaric when the image of 'civilization' Arthur imposes on the world everyone else tears him to shreds.
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cljordan-imperium · 9 months
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And I hope at least one of y'all enjoys it 😌
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