Sumeru hexagon brainrot because I've been rewatching the recent event scenes but also expanding on the one thing of darling being a commentator as well!

I'm thinking of darling freaking out watching the boys trying to hurt each other and especially after Kaveh deals with the diadem they rush towards him and begin fawning over him super worried about him being hurt. (Subtle side glare to wanderer as well for being real rough on the poor boy's side. That ameno blast got him good!)

And Kaveh is so dramatic he'd definitely play it up some more to bask in the undivided attention. And then him learning of what exactly happened to his dad? Darling gets a drunk Kaveh at her doorstep in the middle of the night and ends up caring for him more.

Of course as a thank you Kaveh invites her for a meal (and pays for it! Thanks to Cyno buying the card). Instead of inviting them to the meal with Cyno and Tighnari because he'd be able to have darling to himself. (But we know how resourceful those other boys are and they may or may not have found out and crashed the date).

[ au masterlist ]

If Kaveh had a mora for everytime his advances faced subjugation, he'd have... a lot of mora.

At this point, he can't say he's surprised at the turn of events. If anything, it's Kaveh's failure for not expecting it and taking necessary precautions. Oh well, he just wanted to share a nice meal with you! Was that so much to ask for??

Apparently.

“[Name], I told you, you should've left him outside last night instead of inviting him over. See the look he's giving me!” the hatted boy Kaveh's seen hanging by your person more often than not side eyes him, “whispering” not so discreetly but very purposefully by your ear, a hand raised in mock cover and all the shebang. Kaveh's left eye twitches as he struggles to keep the amiable smile on his face, hands curling into fists beneath the table as his eyes meet coy blue ones.

“I think Hat Guy here has a point, you look unnecessarily agitated, Kaveh.” chimes in a certain scholar seated on your right, Tighnari and Cyno take an eager sip of their drinks at the sight.

Kaveh's carefully maintained countenance almost shatters at the comment, but a look at your face has him halt at the last second, he promised to keep himself in check, he reminds himself. The sheer audacity of these kids! Crashing on his moment and then blaming him for getting annoyed?

“Well, why do you think I am as agitated as I look?” the architect points a fork towards the Scribe from across the table.

“Simple, because you cannot keep your emotions in check.”

“That's it, I've had—”

“Enough, you two.”

Kaveh freezes in his position as your words still the chatters. Yet, the tension in the air only becomes more tangible as five pairs of eyes await your next course of action.

You gently remove the hatted boy's arm from yours (ignoring his reluctance to let go), shifting to address each of the men, “Kaveh has a valid point for being irritated, after all, you four did barge in uninvited. But we're not strangers, so there shouldn't be an issue for us to cooperate and make the most of this meal. Right, Kaveh?”

The addressed architect sits back down with a huff, acquiescing with a heated ‘fine’ after some deliberation. With your declaration, everyone relaxes in various degrees. It's not until Tighnari quips up does the silence break, “[Name] is right, you know. We're all friends, do we really need permission to join each other?”

The ex-harbinger notices the General Mahamatra look at the Forest Ranger by the corner of his eye, the impish tone of Tighnari's words is just noticeable enough for everyone to catch but not to comment on, how interesting.

“Well, it wouldn't hurt to let your friends know beforehand, either, right?” the architect shots back.

Cyno takes over unexpectedly, “Of course not. But I'm with Tighnari on this, friends trust each other enough to let down boundaries. It's not like we have any other intention except wanting to spend time with each other, so what is there to get worked up for?”

“There is a reason to get worked up because I was on a da—”

Kaveh chokes back his words midway, the air suddenly feeling electric. He dares not look, he doesn't need to, for he can feel the men's eyes piercing through his soul at the slip up.

“You were on a da...?” Tighnari urges and despite not following, you find yourself holding your breath.

“I was on a, on a.. da.. da..dat—”

Kaveh makes the mistake of looking right and the sight of a pulsating anemo vision has him gulp.

“—dessert! I was on my dessert! Oh goodness, this thing is delicious! Why would you all interrupt me enjoying it? Hahaha.”

The electricity dissipates without a trace, the air suddenly much easier to breath in. You're left there blinking, not really grasping the point of that exchange as Kaveh gobbles up a random sweet treat to affirm his words. Cyno and Tighnari exchange triumphant glances and Alhaitham goes back to his book, Hat Guy leans back in his seat and Kaveh heaves a sigh of relief.

What a close call.

Hi, can I ask, who are your top 5 (or top 3) seme & uke from your favorite BL media (can be manga/manhwa/danmei/tv series/movies)? Why love them?

Hello! Thank you for the ask, I have been horrendously busy with very good things, so I did not ignore your ask, just have not had time or brain space to answer until now. I’ll be honest with you, I came in to this fandom from BL series with little to no background in yaoi before that, so I am not the most familiar with uke and seme as a concept. But, looking it up gave me the following definitions: 

Uke (受け): The term Uke, in Japanese, literally means "receiver" or "one who receives". In the Yaoi context, Uke is the more passive, submissive, and generally younger or physically smaller character in the relationship.

Seme (攻め): The term Seme, in Japanese, literally means "attacker" or "one who attacks". In the Yaoi context, the Seme is the more dominant, assertive, and usually older or physically larger character in the relationship.

So with those definitions in mind, my five favorite seme and ukes are: 

Masumi and Ritsu- The End of the World with You

Any one who has not watched this show should stop reading this post and go watch End of the World With You instead. Masumi and Ritsu had such an interesting dynamic and it was really fun to watch the changing in their relationship between college and the apocalypse. 

It felt to me like Masumi was rather stuck on his personality from college, a quiet and reserved person, who could not quite let go of the pain of being betrayed by Ritsu, even though he entered in to a relationship he was warned was not going to be romantic. It was cool to see how Ritsu mellowed out/matured more as an adult, and how that seme style personality was employed within the show in ways that allowed Masumi to forgo filial obligations and allow himself to stay with Ritsu and Yuma on their road trip. 

Vegas and Pete- KinnPorsche 

Okay, let’s get the more obvious ones out of the way first, before I get to talk about the really juicy ones. But, I fucking love VegasPete. I love them so much, I’d say that it’s just because of my First BL Drama goggles, but I’ve seen this show 15 times now, and just recently rewatched it, with over 120 BLs under my belt, and they still hold strong for me. I just- 

For me, they are so well written. Both the characters as individuals, Pete does tend to serve as a comic relief at the beginning, but even with relatively minimal screen time, they are really able to give him enough depth by the end that the character feels real, feels like he has a life and a history that exist outside of the confines of the story, and that his life history does impact how he operates in the world. I love the way that the narrative really is able to turn Vegas around in to a more wet and pathetic person by the end, so much so that I had a front row seat to watching my friends slowly learn to love him as they watched this show for the first time. 

I’d put Vegas as Pete’s kidnapper, torturer, and captor as the seme in their relationship and Pete as the kidnapped, prisoner, pet, and free therapist as the uke there. Something that I was interested in seeing with The Sign was a BL that was going to cover hypermasculinity, and while I don’t think KinnPorsche is something I would consider hypermasculine, I do think that Vegas and Pete have a very interesting relationship because they both are pretty masc, and therefore they can fight each other, and Pete can give Vegas a run for his fucking money in a fight, while still being able to maintain what I would consider a seme and uke dynamic. 

But ultimately my favorite thing about them is the emotional complexity to their relationship, not whether or not they fit the seme & uke definitions. That scene in Episode 13 when Pete and Vegas fight, and Pete knocks Vegas out and escapes remains one of my favorites in KinnPorsche and sits pretty firmly in my huge assortment of favorite scenes in BL because it was really fun watching those characters navigate the emotional minefield that was captivity, love, hatred, freedom, dehumanization, desperation, violence, and pain. Good shit, at least in my opinion. 

Hira and Kiyo- Utsukushii Kare 

A trend with some of my favorite seme/uke characters is that they tend to subvert expectations when looked at from just a historically “top” or “bottom” perspective as it relates to seme and uke terminology in yaoi. 

Hira and Kiyoi are one of my favorite seme and uke pairs because Hira and Kiyoi subvert the expectation about who the seme and uke are. My impression of Utsukushii Kare is that Kiyoi is the uke and Hira is the seme, despite the fact that Hira is physically smaller and submissive to Kiyoi. And while I am not well versed in seme/uke tropes in yaoi, @bengiyo is very knowledgeable in the positionality of semes and ukes in Japanese yaoi, and spoke about the positionality of Hira and Kiyoi in Utsukushii Kare in one of the The Conversation Pod episodes where he talked about Hira and Kiyoi constantly being in a battle about placing themselves lower in relation to one another, and who was on the left versus who was on the right. I really love how so much of their own internal relationship fights are really structured around the fact that Kiyoi wants Hira to be on the attack, (and we see that Hira is literally capable of being on the attack when it comes to defending Kiyoi) but in order for that to happen, Hira need to cut the hero worship bullshit and look at Kiyoi like a human being. 

Without a solid understanding of the seme/uke tropes, the positionality, the hair color, etc. I think it is relatively easy to miss that thread in their arguments, I definitely did. Which is fine, because Utsukushii Kare is strongly written and therefore their fights are layered with additional meaning on top so everyone has something to pull from their relationship struggles. But once My Beautiful Man: Eternal came out, we finally got an explicit statement from Kiyoi where he asked Hira if he ever fantasized about being manhandled. Which to me is the most obvious call-out to that aspect of their relationship that we had in the show.  

Also, from just a character perspective, Hira is a little freak and I love him and his ducks, and Kiyoi is just a sweetheart who deserves all of the love in the world. 

Ji Hyun and Jae Won- The Eighth Sense

That country mouse sure knows what he wants and is willing to die to get that dick so like, there is no way I can’t put Ji Hyun on the list. Massive respect to that little twink, dude joined the surf club when he didn’t know how to swim, drowned, and nearly died so he could bag Jae Won and he did. Similarly to Hira and Kiyoi, I don’t think going in to this show you would quite expect Ji Hyun to be the pursuer in the relationship, but he very quickly lets us all know what is up. And it works so well here because Jae Won as a character spend so much of his time unmoored. He’s passive, he’s quiet, he’s dissociative for, like, 90% of the show, and it is so wonderful to see the ways that Ji Hyun’s repeated advances, both his more subtle attempts and his more blatant are one of few things that are able to get a genuine and happy reaction out of Jae Won. 

I love the moments they shared together in Episode 6; as much as it hurts, I love the way Ji Hyun’s accident so strongly impact Jae Won just to show you how much of a positive impact Ji Hyun’s pursuit has had on his life, I love the places where Ji Hyun’s accident results in Jae Won starting to have a more active (and aggressive) control over his own life; and I love the way that Ji Hyun does not stop trying to give Jae Won as much love as he can send his way. The way Ji Hyun knows to expect Jae Won the second that he sees that Read message appear under the texts he’d sent Jae Won, the way the show is filled with light whenever they are together, the way that Jae Won is more relaxed, and smiles and laughs more easily as a result of receiving all of this love and care from Ji Hyun. 

Their relationship is excellent, Ji Hyun’s horny little ass is excellent, The Eighth Sense is excellent. I love them.  

Wang and Inthawut- 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

 

Ok, I don’t know if this is a controversial choice or not, because I would not consider 180 Degree a BL at all. Nor would I ultimately consider Wang and Inthawut’s relationship to be romantic at least by the end of this show. But I do think that a) they fit the seme and uke definitions above super legibly and b) they once again subvert the expectation of which character falls under each role. There has never been a more passive motherfucker in all of the world as Inthawut. Wang is one of the most aggressive pursuers I have ever seen in media, he is assertive, he knows exactly what he wants, he will give it all to Inthawut if it means he gets some goddamn answers from the adults in his life that are too fucking scared to answer any of his questions if it means facing their pasts. 

Was this just an excuse to talk about 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us because it is one of my favorite shows of all time and put me through the emotional wringer? Maybe. But I do think the point still stands that Wang is there trying to give his all to Inthawut, and Inthawut is there desperately fighting with every fiber of his being not to receive anything from Wang. 

If you could come up with the storylines for each Lone Star character (not Owen) for the next season, what would they be?

OH THIS IS A GOOD ONE… (not owen) made me laugh thank you. this didn’t end up being Quite what you asked but here are my hopes for s5!:

marjan is easy: comphet realization to lesbian arc. I don’t even need them to give her a gf i just want them to Address The Closeted Lesbianism they’ve been handing me over the past four seasons. i want salim to come back (in person or in conversation) for the rule of threes and have it force her to reckon with a lot of assumptions she had about herself. im on my hands and knees about it. I’ve been rewatching with a friend recently and i fucking forgot that they have her say a line about how her favorite place to hide as a kid was the closet. remember those new bts photos where she’s basically wearing the lesbian flag as a headscarf. lone star writers room i am IN YOUR WALLS. also i want to meet her sister. i need someone to call her mouse

nancy my beloved… honestly i just really want a nancy begins episode!! i want to know why she became a paramedic, i want to know about her relationship with her sister and if there’s any particular reason it was a soft spot for her during the DNR episode… I don’t have any particular ideas for specific i just want to know more about her!!! actually I’d love her to have to confront Tim’s death a little more directly. they made that whole thing about Owen which is fucking crazy to me, I’d love for the next time TK gets hurt (lol) for it to be something that dredges that up for her.

grace… miss grace i want to see you angry again. no plot line in mind i just like it when she’s pretending she doesn’t get angry or stubborn, she is such a fascinating character study. i love when she’s a contradiction. she and carlos teaming up was one of my favorite things abt s3, i would be so jazzed to see more things of that flavor.

tommy. hm… I don’t think I have any particular storylines for her in mind but I want more of her and grace and judd together because they are so delightful and lovely and best friends. OH ACTUALLY. I want something with tommy and charlie. this baby that was named in honor of the late love of her life. o don’t know what that story would be but there’s something there for sure…

carlos is the same as nancy tbh, I want a real full carlos begins! I want to meet his sisters! I want to see more of the mess that was growing up gay and feeling out of place and trying to be what your dad would want even though he thinks you’re too soft for it. why did he do it anyways! I also would love to see him and his mom being more involved, partially because obviously they had a horrible loss and trauma and she saw it happen but also because I love andrea:) she’s everything 2 me

judd I have been waiting for them to make you captain since SEASON THREE!! i want owen to retire and i want them to expand on the tension we got for the period he was captain!! i want to see how the dynamic changes and how his past issues come up when he’s in charge For Good. i want to see him get emotional about it and i want him to be captain while wyatt is his probie if they put him back on the firefighter track after his recovery :) bc that would be fun conflict and i think everything they did with owen (traumatically lost whole crew, son on your team) would be 100x better with judd

mateo is also a difficult one for specifics. I feel like they’re relatively fair with him? even with the low screentime all the secondary characters are relegated to. I’d be interested in seeing more fallout about his cousin, and I LOVED what they did with him and captain tatum so anything of that flavor of earnestness from him is always so good. maybe he and tatum will be buddies off the clock :)

tk getting hurt in increasingly absurd ways is always a classic that I look forward to them playing into lol

misc: i want to see more big brother wyatt with charlie getting a little older, i want less owen solo-plotlines, more ghost/memory gwyn i love her, carlos with his curls, the vega twins being involved in something maybe? that would be fun and stressful gjfhdhf

EDIT: OH MY GOD I FORGOT PAUL. I ABANDONED MY BOY. ok paul deserves literally any kind of robust plotline. Paul begins for starters, but also so much of his trans plotlines feel a little fumbled. I want a really earnest well done episode that isn’t necessarily About him being trans, but his transness is a factor and it’s handled in a really genuinely good and relatable way. they OWE HIM AND US THAT!! i also would love to see more of the gay kids being in gay spaces :)

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]

Okay, I got a chance to watch the School Spirits season finale (1x08) and I have so many thoughts and feelings! As usual, I'll be placing them below a cut to shorten the post & to hide spoilers.

Okay. Okay. I literally just finished watching so this is me processing in real time. idk how I feel. Because there are some things I like a lot, but others that I just... I'm not sure. I haven't been convinced.

Let's start with this- I don't love that the entire money/blackmailing scheme seemingly means nothing?? I thought it would at least factor in a little, since we spent so much time on it. The only way it ties in now is that Janet is using the money Nicole stole to get away. I think it's a bit unsatisfying that we get to uncover all these clues & 90% of them just go completely out of the window.

I also don't love that Maddie's "death" ties entirely back to Mr. Martin & Janet. While, obviously, there are still some questions there as to precisely what is happening, I think I would have liked this plot point a lot more if an actual living person "killed" Maddie for a real world reason, but it didn't actually kill her, but the vulnerability of the moment/being injured is what allowed Janet & Maddie to essentially switch places. Then what happened to Maddie has ties to both life & death. And there's still a person out there who did attack/attempt to kill her (and also adds a dimension of them only having some of the info & not understanding what's going on), but there's also this whole supernatural situation going on.

I'm super conflicted about the Janet situation as a whole. While it definitely opens up some interesting possibilities for season 2 (pls, I need it), I am always nervous about anything that potentially makes death less permanent. I've said before that I don't want Maddie to be alive & even with this revelation, I'm not sold on a potential conclusion that would end with her alive/back in control of her body. Obviously this would be a distinct possibility, since it's unclear exactly how/what happened with Janet/Maddie and presumably it could be reversed. I know everyone will feel differently about this, but I personally tend to feel emotionally cheated when I'm asked to invest in a character's death and then it's walked back. So much of this season has revolved around emotionally plucking at our heartstrings, either by having characters hope that Maddie's alive when the audience has been told she's dead (like with her mom & Nicole), or with a character like Simon who is processing knowing she's "dead" & grieving her loss, that I wouldn't want to feel like those scenes exist to get an emotional response from the audience, not because they have weight long term in the story. Like I said, everyone has a different tolerance level for this, and I know mine is pretty low. That being said, I am staying cautiously optimistic that this could go in a really interesting/satisfying direction, if handled delicately.

Ngl, I wish we'd gotten more ghosts in the most recent episode. I just love the ghost characters & would have liked a little more time with them. I also now feel like I need to rewatch & try to figure out exactly when Rhonda became suspicious/found the info on Mr. Martin. I know we saw her in the fallout shelter earlier, but I'm wondering if her "I wanna cross over" thing was entirely an act, or if she only found out later.

Mr. Martin. Okay, what exactly is he trying to accomplish & what abilities does he have? He somehow managed to lock Charley, Wally, & Rhonda up. He's able to make notes and collect objects, even when he isn't interacting with them. Maddie saw him before anything happened to her. It doesn't seem like he and Janet planned what happened to Maddie (at least not in this way) because he yells at Janet not to move when they are interrupted by Maddie and Janet had been yelling for help. Why are there no notes on Janet? What does the "thinning" note that Wally found mean? Thin the ghosts or thin the veil? How is he trying to use this?So many questions here.

I think, given a little time, Simon has to come back around on the idea that Maddie can't just be a hallucination pretty quickly because she gave him info/led him places, etc. that he would never have been able to puzzle out without her help. One of many examples- if Maddie isn't "real" he wouldn't have known Mr. Anderson's phone code. He got that info from Maddie who got it from Dawn.

I actually found myself warming up to Xavier (as a character, not ever again as a love interest for Maddie, to be clear) more than anticipated in this episode. He has made some shitty mistakes, but he does seem to be trying and I have to give him credit for that. Plus, the scene of him, Nicole, & Claire in the truck arguing was genuinely pretty fun.

Loose threads: I know I've brought it up before, but wtf is going on with the social media thing? Was it really accidentally Mrs. Nears? Was it Janet? But how could it be Janet, she didn't have Maddie's phone (I guess she could know people's log ins like Dawn, but why would she do that?), and Janet doesn't actually gain anything by making people think Maddie is alive if she's staying hidden & trying to run away in Maddie's body. I assume the reason she didn't leave town sooner was because she didn't have the means? It's hard to speculate too much about Janet, since we don't know anything about her personality/wants/involvement with Mr. Martin/moral compass/etc.

I'm not surprised that possession became a plot point (Dawn talking about it just seemed too important for it to not), but I wasn't sure if they were going to dive into that with this season or if that was set up for season 2. Obviously it came into play for season 1. Like I said, still processing that.

I do really hope we get a season 2. While there are some elements (particularly the stuff surrounding how permanent death is) that make me a little nervous about things going off the rails, there are so many interesting things (and characters) they could explore & I want to see where they take things. There's a lot of set up for season 2, but also a lot of the mystery/whodunnit elements are currently wrapped up (since we see the scene of Maddie's.... I'm gonna keep calling it "death" because I don't know what else to call it), it feels like we might need another external mystery for season 2.

Anyway, definitely still processing things. More thoughts to come in a bit! Also I still adore Wally & need him to be happy.

Please humour me, and thanks in advance for putting up with my rant.

I recently started a rewatch of twd to help pass the time while I wait for twd:dd in September, and this question keeps coming back to me.

How long has Daryl been in love with Carol, while she has no idea? What do you think?

I think from season 1, but he didn't really know it himself till the start of season five, where they reunited in the forest, and since then has either been too scared to do anything about it, too occupied by everything that has happened to the group in the years since to allow himself to feel/pursue it, or he's genuinely felt that he doesn't deserve her/she deserves better, OR all/combination of the above.

Carol, on the other hand, I think only realised the extent of her own feelings at the end of season 11. The looks they shared while Magna's group was crying over Luke (almost like they were so grateful that the other was still alive, and it could have so easily been one of them crying over the other's death), and then the looks again later when they were waiting for Judith to wake up after surgery, really tells me that in those moments they both realised something significant about how they feel for each other, and how a future isn't promised and that they could lose each other for good at any moment.

And don't get me started on their farewell scene because it broke my heart; once again, these two did the selfless thing and put others' safety and happiness over their own. They each decided to go on a journey to help/save someone else. The way Daryl looked back at her for one last time after getting on the bike was almost like he was hoping she'd tell him to stay.

In Judith's words, "You [Daryl] deserve a happy ending too"!!! and he'll only really come to believe this once it's too late and he's stuck across an ocean, trying to get back to them.

And my queen, Carol, will cross an ocean to find him; I'm gonna cry just thinking about it. I love them so much.

Let me know what you think. Am I being delusional? I want to know how someone else sees this.

I’m overdue for a rewatch myself, I just haven’t felt motivated lately. I think there are a lot of clues pointing to Daryl and Carol developing feelings for each other early on like you said, but they *both* needed time to sort it out for themselves. Grief kept piling on over the years, insecurities deepened, and while their love only grew, they both went through periods of believing they weren’t good enough for each other. I think Daryl overcame it in the last couple seasons, hence “I know where I’m supposed to be.” Hence, why Daryl’s alleged uncertainty in the spinoff makes zero sense.

To be completely honest, I hated their last scene(s) together. I hated that one of the most anticipated moments—exchanging I loves you’s—was used to distract the audience from what was really happening i.e. Daryl leaving Carol. I don’t think it was a selfish or a selfless choice on his part because I don’t think there was any emotional realism to it at all. He had a spinoff to get to 🤷🏻‍♀️😑 I do think Carol was trying to make it easier for Daryl to go, but that just exposes a much sadder truth which is—after 11 seasons and even a time jump of one year—Carol *still* hasn’t healed from her insecurities/trauma. She *still* thinks Daryl could be happier without her. In an EW interview, Melissa chose the song “Crazy” by Patsy Cline to represent the end of Carol’s story. That speaks volumes. There were a handful of characters TWD owed honorable endings and they butchered all of them, but Carol’s was the worst.

The point I’m getting to is no, you aren’t delusional. It’s just that the spinoff has *a lot* to make up for. Do I think it can? Based on what we know about S2, yes. Am I ready to give up my cynicism? No. Not yet, but I hope to soon 😵‍💫

God so I just recently purchased the Blu-ray edition of the tenth doctor's run and have been watching the commentary tracks for each episode (which btw, are soo good if you're a major fan of this era. They add a lot of context and extra details to the episodes).

I just finished the girl in the fireplace's commentary track and thankfully hearing the cast's comments on the scenes made it all the more bearable. Not because i hate the episode, but because everytime I rewatch it, it feels like reopening a flesh wound lol

Like it makes me so sad for everyone lmao.

Personally I am not of the opinion that it is badly written, I think the episode does a good job of exploring the more unflattering sides of the Doctor and his duties while also simultaneously exploring the strengths of those choosing to associate with him.

Within the episodes, the three leads make the ultimate sacrifice.

With Madame de pompadour sacrificing a slow path with the doctor for the greater good.

With Rose letting him go, knowing that his selflessness would never allow him to see someone he has come to care for, suffer a meaningless death

And the Doctor, choosing to step in and save Reinette, because it's the right thing to do in spite of knowing there's a possibility that he will never return. Especially with the amount of flirting they did, he formed a connection and now is made to pay the price for it.

It's such a sad episode, and the hurt on all sides always makes me feel so bad for everyone involved. Especially for Rose in particular, who has to put aside her personal feelings and step in spite of knowing how the doctor and Reinette feel about one another ( I wouldn't say love, but there's an attraction there definitely)

It goes to show how brave these two women are to do what is right even if it directly hinders their own needs. How much strength it really takes to accompany the doctor, given that one never knows how their adventures will end.

It also goes to show why you often don't see the doctor make promises to those he rescues. Why he often keeps people at a distance, because getting to know these people in peril personally makes losing them all too real. They become a priority above his better judgement, and he cannot escape the consequences of letting himself feel something towards them.

It's an unfortunate situation, but I think it goes to strengthen the bond between Rose and the Doctor further. As it not only explains why submitting to romantic attraction is a doomed endeavor on the Doctor's part, but why they both function well as a pair. Making them the only two in the scenario to really understand the repercussions of what has occurred on the big scale of things, but nonetheless letting the other grieve regardless.

Idk it's a war of conflicting feelings really lmao because although I am not a fan of the romance between him and Reinette (for other reasons), it manages to humanize him further. Making him a flawed individual that is not above making insensitive decisions or falling for flattery. He has feelings and emotions, that although help him sympathize to those around him, can also make him vulnerable in the same way any human is.

I think it adds to his character, although I will admit it had unfortunate timing on when it took place over the course of the overall character development (which ironically is a point that I have seen most agree with, even those that aren't the biggest fan of the Doctor and Rose romance). Overall, just very conflicted lmao

Lol just had to write out my thoughts, there will probably be more to come about these episodes since I'll be rewatching them.

Only Friends Ep 10

My problem with OF is that I don't feel the romance/love in this show at all. This is also a good thing, because thanks to it I can watch this series without emotional involvement. And watching a series with so much malice, nastiness AND emotional investment would not be good for my well-being and I would definitely have to stop.

I don't feel or see love between the characters, I see obsessions, toxic relationships, lots of delusion and even more nastiness and immature behavior. WHICH IS FINE, don't get me wrong, such series are also cool. Personally, I don't mind problematic stories, most of my fav manga are like that 😉 But as I read these stories, or watch them on the screen, I see that despite everything problematic, there is a powerful feeling there, and it drives me crazy.

Why am I mentioning this? Because OF, despite its engaging plot, cannot sell me the feelings between the characters. I sit down with each episode wondering: what stupid, bad thing are they going to come up with today? NEVER waiting for the next stage of the relationship/development of feelings between the characters. But it's STILL FINE, in an interesting, innovative way, because I don't know if I've ever watched a BL series like this before. But no, I mention it primarily because OF introduced two characters almost at the end, who not only dominated the series as far as I'm concerned, but who finally raised my blood pressure 😁 and made me interested in a "romance" side of the story. I probably like Daddy Dan because he's the first and only classically romantic character in OF. Additionally, he's the only one that gives an adult vibe. Boeing is simply a great character who dominates every scene and this series in general. We don't know him, we don't know what his motivations are, he manipulates everyone with the ease of a master. Even my fav bad boy Boston looks pale in comparison, and each of the other characters looks like a kid. But if I add Dan to that, they all seem really, really childish. I actually want to see HIM in a relationship, simply because there is a passion in him. Even if it's not good!

Just… looking at Dan and Boeing in one episode and then looking at the rest… well, I have some interesting conclusions.

Anyway, Mew had more chemistry with Boeing in one scene than with Top had so far. Also Top should consider whether Mew is worth the effort. If Mew wants to give him a second chance, he should forgive him and let it go, but he keeps what happened over him ALL THE TIME and just keeps and keeps coming back to this "betrayal". Mew talks about it ALL THE TIME and even wants to take revenge. Another revenge. Does Top want to be reminded of this for the rest of his life? Does he want to be with someone so petty and vindictive? Who is prone to using manipulation, games, and tricks just to prove their point? Who does not confront directly, like an adult, but creates theatrical stagings to triumphantly debunk someone's lies and show his own "moral superiority"?

Boston and Nick: ngl, I hate that they're back together. But the situation is very real. From an outside perspective, I can't imagine choosing someone so immature and nasty like Boston over someone like Dan, BUT well, that's life.

Sand and Ray: I must admit that the number of issues Ray has means that I still don't think he is the best choice for Sand.

Recently, out of boredom, I've been rewatching several series, even silly ones like the last two episodes of My Universe 😊 And even in these funny series, I KNEW that the characters were in love with each other, because the series showed it, I could see the infatuation, love in everything, including the obvious stuff, such as staring, touches, the need to be with the other person expressed in taking action to do so. For example, I have no idea what's behind Top's actions in getting Mew back, because it's definitely not love.

Literally no declaration of love, or even liking, or expression of desire to be together by any of these characters was emotional or credible. When it comes to relationships, they are either lukewarm, or they manipulate, test, or they want/don't want something. The highest emotions arise only when they fight or are being nasty. Oh sorry, Dan expressing interest in Nick and Boeing expressing interest in Mew were convincing 😄 Ok, Nick bursting into tears and saying he missed Boston is something I can still accept, it was pure and honest.

(actually, I know my thoughts and this post are chaotic, I could have gotten lost halfway through lol. Anyway, the presence of Dan and Boeing highlighted even more what I think about OF)

Fun fact: I only discovered today that the actor playing Boeing played in Not Me. The entire ep I was wondering how I knew that face. I would be such a shitty witness because all it takes is for someone to change their hair color and I'm like who dis 😭

Hello!! I recently got Tumblr after I read some of your love-sick sal fics and DAMN you got me trapped now senpai >////<

So here's my gush about Sal and Larry because I love both of those ghost hunter bffs

So first Sal. Where do I even start? Sally is such an interesting character and I love his concept alone!! The execution? Mwah -3- He's a little femboy but can also be so badass! Me being an absolute SUCKER for Yanderes I can't even begin to describe how much potential he has, but you already showed lots of it!! Sal is definitely the stalker type that collects everything. A little to weak to kidnap right of the bat, but he has that possibility in mind for emergencies. He definitely has journal after journal with drawings, notes and scenarios of Sal and his obsession lover~ He's definitely delusional about the relationship they share. I love to imagine that he'll play into anything his lover wants. Kinks? "Weird" habits? Hobbies? He's definitely into all of it if it means he can be with his lovely Y/N! And I LOVE that devotion so so so SO much!! He definitely isn't the type to force the darling to change but rather changes himself and that's a whole other level of being yandere, let me tell you that! Overall Sal/10 would buy again! Never been happier to have a delusional masked boi chilling outside my window ;D

Now, Larry. DAMN THE DUDE IS STRONG. And he also has connections where he can get drugs from? He'd definitely kidnap as soon as he sees a little danger and I'M ALL HERE FOR IT!! He's kinda the opposite of Sal which I kinda love! Well, sure, they share same interests, but I mean that while Sal is weak and timid (a little of a push-over when it comes to love but not in a bad way c;), Larry is a muscly dude who knows what he wants, but often only wants to chill (which I totally respect). Larry's yandere potential is also pretty high. I mean, he literally lives in the basement with pretty thick walls. It wouldn't be hard to hide a person there, plus he can also drug them if they get too noisy (nothing too dangerous or addicting though, he only wants them to relax a little). I imagine him being super soft though once darling gets Stockholm syndrome comfy! He isn't as delusional as Sal but honestly, he doesn't care. He just takes what he wants and DAMN IT I LOVE IT >//////< Larry/10 would buy again! Never have I been happier being in a basement smoking weed than U am now ;D

And Double Trouble? Let's keep it short.

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS LET'S GOOOOOO

>You got a tumblr… because of my yan!sal fics????? I am SO HONORED AAHHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖 (and also wonder how you found them if you weren't here already sdlkfd)

>I really need to do a rewatch with the intention of adding up all of Sals (and Larrys) 'yan points'. There are a lot of them, but I want to know exactly how many times he sneaks and creeps and gets all mushy in canon 📝✅

>Sal is a yandere packrat and I love that for all of us collectively (bu-dum-tss)

>He's also very open minded, nonjudgmental and observant, so I totally agree that he'd be accepting of (and quickly picks up on) his darlings 'weird' quirks and kinks and would romanticize the hell out of them (to a reasonable point- even love-sick Sally has to have some limits and doesn't want anybody to get hurt unnecessarily)

>Umf, his DEVOTION 👌👌👌 but also: his uncanny ability to charm just about anyone, how quick he is with his white lies and whit, his patience and tolerance, how he gets people to trust him so quickly despite how off-putting some find his appearance, how he uses his politeness, agreeability, emotional intelligence and flattery to get exactly what he wants from people and they thank him for it half the time, how he uses all of that to his advantage with the (perceived) best intentions AND to achieve his own goals… it just gets my darling dokis going so hard u//w//u 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

>As for Scary Larry, he's opposite yet complimentary to Love-Sick Sally (which is why Double Trouble is *chefs kiss*)- stubborn to a fault, doesn't mind making enemies, willing to get his hands dirty (mostly metaphorically speaking), able to say the hard truths, his inability to brush off unfairness or disrespect, a need for control that he doesn't quite know how to achieve…

>He makes me go '(giggling) Im in danger :3c' bc he could very easily overpower little ol me and it gets me feeling Ways (oh god and i just remembered hes a full foot taller than me HELP sdlfsadf) 👉👈💓💦

>The nickname Lar-bear is so fitting bc he could potentially tear someone limb from limb like a grizzly for messing with his darling but he would also cuddle [darling] all night in his yan dungeon like a big teddy bear 🤗🧸💖

>His PASSION 👌👌👌 he loves and feels so deeply and he can't seem to keep it contained. Sal is used to masking his feelings lol but Larry has to express himself, whether he's happy or angry or moved. His love might be intense to the point of smothering, but it's pretty nice once you get used to it~ 💘

>Both? Both. Definitely both (and thanks to this gush im gonna think about being in the middle of that delicious yan!sandwich all day) 🤤💕💕💕

HELLO MY FAV WRITER ON TUMBLR

Okay so recently I've been rewatching ATLA on Netflix and then I had to think about which element the ptg members would bend and I have no one to discuss this with djsjdj so if you have thoughts on that please feel free to drop them omg

Have a good day 🤍

omggg this is so fun tysm for sharing this with me (yes, i still obsess over ATLA in the year of our lord 2023 but it's just sO GOOD)

ANYWAY bc i always discuss everything with my bestie this too has been thoroughly discussed with her so i'll include both my and some of her takes under the cut~

Hui

for hui I was thinking either fire or water--fire because of the warmth and light it can be connotated with; lighting up a candle or the fireplace, warming up a cup of tea, literally bringing light into the darkness. water because I can picture him focusing on healing since he is someone who is very keen on helping and supporting others.

Jinho

i said fire for him too and then my friend said she could see him focusing on lightning and i felt that was so fitting! since it is a bending technique that required a lot of precision and skill it just felt like such a good match. he'd take bending very seriously and work really hard to hone his skills. wouldn't really use his bending skills much for goofing around or mundane things.

Hongseok

my bestie said earth and i also thought of earth too but somehow he is just very water bender shaped to me--maybe because i associate him with the color blue

Shinwon

fire--once again it may be due to color schemes (shinwon is v much orange to me) but i can also just see it well--him playing around with the flames or using bending for his daily life, idk heating up ramen or warming up his cold feet

Changgu

my friend said earth and i can see that very much! my take was sand bending which is like hybrid earth bending so p much the same direction. I just thought it was fitting since it's a little bit more light footed

Yanan

maybe all the memes of him burning down cube have gotten to me bc i could rlly rlly see fire. air would be fitting too though imo bestie said water bending and perhaps even stuff like blood bending too fhdshfkjdhs

Yuto

i had initially planned to stick to the main 4 elements but yuto just immediately screamed metal bending to me, i couldn't settle for anything else my bestie said water which would have also been my first choice among the classic 4 elements

Hyunggu

my first instinct was fire or air and then my friend said how he'd probably constantly play around with those air balls the way aang did and idk just a lot of bouncing around and puffing himself up and. that's just so hyunggu. he's definitely an air bender.

Wooseok

once again here with hybrid bending bc my take is mud bending fhsdhfkjs though bestie said water/ice and i could see that too

also because we talked abt this topic sm we obvsly also discussed who'd have avatar potential and pls don't call me biased but i'm so stuck on avatar shinwon now. like? he just accidentally stumbles into it all but ppl seem to rely on him so ofc he doesn't back out or run away and goes through with it bc he just is like that and then perhaps the other members are there to teach him bending and support him and he'd probably grow really attached to them. at first he went along with being the avatar because he wanted to help/didn't want to disappoint anyone but as time passes he just wants to be with them and make them proud by getting better but also support and help them too (imagine him wanting to learn healing from hui but he's having a hard time with it so hui would ask why he wants to learn it in the first place and sw would be like "so someone can heal you too when you're hurt") ...yeah maybe i am too emotional about shinwon and why he wanted to be in ptg haha

anyway these are my and my besties thoughts on pentagon ATLA AU thank you for the ask<3

Masterlist

Oh my god hi foxy sooo I just finished MM chapter 4 and well what can I say this is going to make me sound a little crazy but Sasha is so much better than me? I would’ve pulled a Beyoncé in Hold up, a Taylor Swift in Blank Space. In the tattoo shop. Make Naoko and JK be my number one priority. That is, in terms of hiding their bodies.

When he goes “she’s controlling, she’s jealous and she doesn’t trust me”. Okay. Sir. My guy. On behalf of all the women in the world, or at least on this blog: fuck you🫶🏻

Okay no I love jk but yeah I would’ve dumped his ass without second thoughts. And NO not because “they were on a break!!” (Sorry I rewatched friends recently lol) but you’ve been in this relationship for quite a while now, made mistakes, gone through hell and back AND STILL YOU PULL THIS BULLSHIT? Nah ah, not on my watch. I’m so happy he has more emotionally mature friends that make him realize how much of a fucking red flag he is sometimes. When he goes “she was a bitch first!!” Ugh… my boy. I honestly get his point of view. He has always felt babied and like he couldn’t make one decision on his own, so when even this grown up decision has opposition he probably feels so mad. But, in all honesty: you were lucky she was not ACTUALLY a bitch☠️. could’ve gone a lot worse. Broken some noses and shit.

I’m happy she eventually decided to be the bigger person and call him to take back what she said. “Happy” as in: jk shouldn’t be relieved, she just showed him how much more mature she is than him.

Okay now I get why 🌚 tells me I’m too attached to Sasha and that I defend her no matter what. 🤭

I’m sorry I’ve had an awful week with men that treat you like you’re shit under their shoe. JK you chose the wrong time to make be objective about this… you better run!🔪🔪🔪

🌸

One thing I find really interesting about writing Sasha is that she blows up at different times than people necessarily expect, and also that she is sometimes SO defensive and strong and other times badly in need of shelter and protection. Poor girl is building identity and emotional maturity before our very eyes, but it means we get both more explosive anger towards JK and ALSO more submissiveness in situations she might have walked away from before. Although she doesn't tend to be the one who ends relationships in her life..... 😎

I am secretly SOOOO happy when readers have a strong response and insist they wouldn't stand for bad treatment when it comes out in characters. I don't just mean here but in many of my stories. I think there's a big difference between glorifying problems or bad behavior and just showing them, and that it's a way we grow our own sense of what we will or won't stand for in our real life relationships. I definitely stayed in relationships i shouldn't have for longer than I should have, and I think it's wonderful to see strength not to do that in others. I'm not saying throw the towel in over every minor mistake, but not staying in a bad situation for whatever excuse is just such an important value lesson to learn, especially for women...

Anyway :) I'm introspective because I'm working on the next chapter LOL Always a pleasure to hear from you. Looks like you're on Michele's "gut him" team.

macccc hi. hi hi <3 ik u don’t watch qsmp but i wanna cry in ur inbox for a second. we got. fucked up sibling dynamics. it happened. cellbit had a twin sister named bagi and he went missing and was thrown into a war and she searched for him endlessly. his first memory is standing over a dead body and having to eat it to survive. bagi is slowly recovering her own memories and is desperate for him to remember her. he keeps pushing her away bc he can’t fathom that he had a LIFE and a FAMILY and people who CARED about him. he thought he came from war but he came from love and didn’t even know it. bagi became a cop just so she could try to break him out of prison but she never got the chance bc he broke out first and she lost him again. she spent fifteen years looking for him and he spent fifteen years trying to survive. they’re both devastated over this in different ways. this always happens with media i get into it always comes back around to messed up siblings i’m going to start eating the floorboards. the strider bros the plant twins ccrimeboys. this is my brother and i need a shovel to love him. you can get a new son or a father but who can grow me a new brother. yk. just gonna lay here and cry for a minute brb

anyway how r u doing!!! how’s it going!!!! how r ur blorbos!! i never got into adventure time as a kid what’s it like what’s the recent series like how’s it going :3 how r ur little guys i wanna know!!!! i’m still watchin hannibal btw makin my way thru s2e2 AS WE SPEAK!!!

OH GOD OH FUCK I LOVE HORRIBLE TRAGIC SIBLINGS !!!!!!!!!!!! i keep saying this but im so glad im not directly into qsmp because i KNOW i would be imprinting on cellbit like a baby duckling. it was A JOKE AT FIRST because i saw he had a white streak but every new thing i learn about him im like. of fuck thats my type of character like. to a t. unbelievable.

I AM DOING GOOD its sooooo cold today and i cannot wait 2 be done with work so i can get all cozy (<< guy who is dumb and chose a career path that is Almost Always Outdoor Manual Labor) . adventure time is soooooooooooooo so so so good. i actually have not seen ANY of the post-canon series which is why im currently rewatching the main one!! i want 2 watch them so bad. ive heard such good things about fionna and cake. ouuguguhg. its a very good show its the perfect balance of really silly and lighthearted and also.... emotions. <3 formative piece of media. u are speaking to the worlds biggest flame princess kinnie. also i have been thinking abt my ocs a lot lately bc i havent drawn them since artfight. this is a DISGRACE.

IM SOOOO GLAD UR STILL ENJOYING HANNIBAL. oh season 2 goes nuts. season 1 is probably my favorite as a whole but my favorite Individual Episode is the season 2 finale. ohhh the season 2 finale makes me so insane. ouguha. also lmk when u meet a character named mason verger i have a funny story about him <3

Happy Storyteller Saturday! What part of your WIP have you had the most fun writing so far and why? Feel free to share a snippet if you like 💜

most recently I've had a ton of fun writing one piece live action fanfic. I've really struggled with writing recently and this has broken through my dam. I can still do it! which I never doubted, but it's nice to have proof.

I'm gonna keep writing this thing until I don't want to anymore, and then I'm probably gonna write supplemental fics for the episodes because I already have some cooking up in my brain. (actually after I answer this I'm gonna go rewatch the first few episodes with friends who haven't seen it yet).

here's a snippet (I have this thing where I love to introduce an OC to the canon cast who is usually a character foil for somebody, and her purpose to force the canon cast to experience emotions and process them, pretty much. oh and also shenanigans and hurt/comfort, my faves):

“Here,” Luffy said, depositing Mari down next to where Zoro was trying to nap in the warm sunlight of late afternoon. “Look after her. Stab her if she moves.”

Zoro stared after Luffy’s retreating figure with annoyed curiosity. He then transferred that glare to Mari, who was attempting to get up onto her knees and utterly failing. The ship rolled over the waves and Mari, was probably the most surefooted of them all, having been sailing her whole life, continued to unsuccessfully find purchase on the deck to get past a seated position. It was extremely amusing, but less so when he considered that he had just been sleeping.

“Why do you have to look after and possibly stab you if you move?”

“Don’ worry ‘bout it,” Mari said, clipping off syllables from her words like she was drunk.

Was she drunk? Zoro swiveled a little in place so he could get a better look at her face. “Shit. What the hell happened to you?”

A bruise sat atop a welt on the right side of her forehead, and her eyes kept darting back and forth like she was trying to focus and, much like her attempt at kneeling, was decidedly failing at. Mari scowled at him, which morphed into a wince, which morphed into a bigger wince when she abruptly fell backwards and hit the back of her head against the bulwark.

hehe. this particular oc is a foil for Zoro and I am having such a good time about it.

thanks for asking, Frost!

Rant about Spy x Family & Covert Affairs (found on Amazon Prime):

**I am watching the anime and have not read the manga yet

***This is long and you might want to skip my rambling but I felt the need to get it out

Okay, I have a little rant about Spy Family cause I keep seeing posts and it's aggravating me just a little but people keep pointing out that while Loid is getting more and more comfortable with Yor and Anya, his ability as a spy is diminishing. But I recently just rewatched Covert Affairs S1 and honestly, he's not becoming less of a spy but rather more of one.

Allowing truth to bleed into your lies makes your lies stronger and his family is not necessarily a lie with all the (forged) paperwork. His emotions being genuine bleeds through not only his act as a family man but Anya's and Yor's acts as well. Anya is a kid that obviously cannot lie well and his treatment, his relationship with her is how best he's going to influence her when she is out on her own representing them.

He also makes a point to always remind Yor she is part of the family because 1) she is and 2) in order for her to play her part, she has to believe in her role, that's going to allow others to believe their family tho it's also fair to assume her role will be more stepmom rather than mom.

This is a spy's life, managing assets in the field and expanding connections, all things Loid has given Twilight access to. A respected job, a daughter that goes to a prestigious school, and a wife that works in public service. He now has access to communities he might not have had before and more importantly, he has access long-term. No one can possibly question why he's hanging around this area for so long or perhaps not trying to move up the ladder because he's a family man devoted to his wife and his child's care. His child is in a very well respected school and his wife is a local (per the Handler).

In comparison, Annie Walker works at the Smithsonian and is a linguist which allows her to travel and she is comfortable traveling from previous experience. It gives her a way in with people but she also shares with others (typically other agents but sometimes assets) that she has a family waiting back at home, she's human too, with loved ones and that's what Twilight is finally becoming in my eyes is indeed the perfect spy.

I also feel like from some of the clips we do see before he gets to Operation Strix, he operated on almost an assassin basis rather than a spy. At least, from watching Covert Affairs, I see spies as managers in the field and collectors of intel. These spies in Spy x family might take on more of a dual role, I'm not sure.

I'd also like to point out that this is probably Twilight's first long-term mission. Long-term as in over a year. He could stay as Loid Forger indefinitely so long as he remains within valuable communities that allow him opportunities for WISE. And, while others call him the greatest spy of the West, we have no idea how he handled missions before Strix, and from what I can see of the missions he does alongside Strix, he probably messes up a lot more than we credit him. BUT, his success rate is high because he knows how to catch himself (and charm his way out), and once more, he probably never did a mission this long before so I doubt he knows how to handle himself when things he said last year come back to him because typically, his mission would already be over with.

And to address the Handler, we see her express emotion about the mission. She admitted to once having a daughter. That's probably why she joined WISE. All spies there seem to despise war and want only to bring peace. This is personal in their own way and that's why they must remind themselves to keep emotions out of their decision-making. That doesn't mean to suppress themselves or their compassion but do not let the heart rule on decisions that could be the key to a peaceful tomorrow and a war. I have yet to see her rule on the thought of emotions being bad (have not seen the manga yet) and Twilight also seems to have some qualms about his emotions during missions but Nightfall is the only one that I've seen take it so far and the others around her make note that is too far. That's not expected or required of them. In fact, her suppression of emotion can probably make some of her missions more difficult for her and other agents. And, it also means her inability to properly handle her emotions leads her to nearly compromise Twilight's mission.

Back to Annie Walker, we see her struggle with her emotions (she is a rookie after all) in the field. That's why she has Auggie (her handler) and Joan (her boss). Their job is to keep Annie focused and Annie's job is to keep her assets safe and focused so intel goes back to the CIA. But, Joan knows that the life of a spy is difficult especially with family and friends not knowing the truth. That's why Joan demands Annie takes a vacation, why she's watching closely, because the minute an operative snaps, they're gone. They either leave or they go rogue (seen in S1 with other agents). A handler has to know their operative better than anyone else so that when operatives reach the end of their rope, the handle can pull them back into safety.

I think The Handler knows Twilight all too well and that's honestly a good thing. and I think one reason for that is she will bear herself to him like she did speaking of her daughter and he bears a little of himself back. There's mutual respect and trust. If nothing else, an alliance that makes this possible. And, ensures Twilight doesn't go off the deep end. With his family around him now, I think this might make it easier to keep him focused, centered, and motivated.

jannat se aagay i'm on the fence about. i feel like umera ahmed dramas are always hit or miss with me these days and the more i rewatch some of them the more it feels like there's a recurring theme of women being made to feel they're ungrateful to god for reacting to hardships created by societal misogyny. which obv is not surprising and is in fact something highly relevant to the experiences of women in our society, but ig i'm kind of tired of it too and want to see a situation where a woman doesn't have to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of being patient with others. that might be why i enjoyed alif more in comparison, bc it was less about women humbling themselves for the sake of a man and more about people in general humbling themselves before god. and potentially it seems jannat se aagay may go in that direction as well so i'm not losing too much hope. but then there's also the fact that umera's last drama was hum kahaan kay sachay thay and while that had a good message at the core i feel like the execution was pretty juvenile and hard to take seriously. so idk. my feelings are all over the place lololol

as for mein. truly love ayeza's styling as well! i'm kind of hesitant to invest in any more wahaj ali dramas both on account of oversaturation and also how he's sort of soured for me in the past year but zanjabeel asim did write pyaar ke sadqay and that was amazing so.. who knows! it's ary and taking up the mujhe pyaar hua tha timeslot does not spell great vibes to me but idk maybe i'm being too cynical. i feel like yunhi has risen the standard so high for me recently that i'm starting to be a lot pickier than i used to be! i never thought i'd see a drama possessive of that level of subtlety and romantic old school vibe again that you get from old ptv productions and i miss it dearly! i know yunhi has been a bit underrated compared to some of the bigger hits these days but i really want other script writers to take note that this is how they can do things rather than relying on all of the cheap drama and fanfare they normally promote. ig technically speaking neem has been following that train of thought as well, although i know people are irritated by mawra's preaching in it (i personally am not. i'm willing to let a little overidealized preaching slide if it means we get to see something refreshing and different on screen). but i hope we get more subtle dramas! or maybe i just need to look for them harder

UA is..very staunch in her views about the subject of religion and patriarchy. which, when mixed with her brilliance as a writer, turn out to be quite a sinister view because she manages to subtly and not-so-subtly sneak them in her stories and paint only them as the "right" views. she doesn't try to shake any foundations. what she says about both religion and the position of women is not favoring either the minorities or the women of current times who are trying their best to break free from the shackles of patriarchy. UA might appear to be on their side but she is not. she serves only her own purposes be it being pro-establishment through a show like Sinf e Ahan or pro-a particular sect/interpretation of the religion by the points she makes in her other dramas. which is why I like it when her stories steer clear from these particular agendas and instead focus on the more human emotions. her older shows like Daam, Malaal, Kankar, Doraha..they had far more empowered heroines and nuanced human emotions than her more popular works like Zindagi Gulzar Hai or Shehr-e-Zaat. I am seriously hoping that Jannat Say Aagay will take her back to those roots instead of this being yet another propaganda project for her which she has gotten too comfortable with nowadays. Ramsha's teaser for the show has risen my expectations although of course, I am still gonna remain cautious. filhaal toh mere giggles iss baat pe nahin ruk rahe ke I can so easily interpret the vibes of the teaser to being non-heterosexual so obviously and the fact that it's a UA show making me feel that way is just personally hella amusing to me xD the IRONYYY!

bruh when i say Wahaj didn't even register to me in his teaser for Mein while Ayeza's teaser got tattooed on my brain in the first watch only !!! there's no denying wahaj's brilliance but damn the over saturation of his work IS so clearly evident now. Zain feels like another version of Murtasim. yes yes Wahaj carries the rich guy look well, he has groomed his aura for the screen well, but like...ABHi tou issi mein dekha tha isse. and phir wohi? whereas Mubashira's aggression is completely at contrast with Ayeza's last character (Tara) so the excitement to watch what SHE has in store is so much for me. Zanjabeel Asim is a solid writer so that's sorted. Badar Mehmood is eh but kya hi kar sakte hain. i am not hyped pro max for the DRAMA itself per se but I am very intrigued by Ayeza's character and will mostly be watching for her (if I do end up following it regularly).

Yunhi..I guess I'll binge once its finished. I feel no urgency to watch that show. it's a comfort watch and I'll watch it comfortably. filhal toh Bilal ki shakal nahin bardasht horahi hai mujhse.

It hits me so hard once I think how Bobby even being part of the family still did set a line in his role for the kids (more for himself) with thoughts of how he was just "the best buddy" figure and how he didn't take more attitude due his fear of the kids reminding him he is not their father, because he considers himself "nobody's father". But once they got put in danger he forgot this line himself put (1/2)

Hey Nonnie

Thanks for making me feel all emotional!!

But its so true - seeing where Bobby has come from in season 1 to where he's at now is such an amazing and heartwarming thing, and it's been such a quiet and understated transition that I think many people haven't really appreciated it. I know that I am only really getting to really understand his journey as I've been rewatching this week - the Bobby of season 1 and 2 is a million miles away from the Bobby we have now and as you put it - its a beautiful progression - especially as he built it - he built both of his families.

People are quite rightly talking about 5 being the season of Eddie, but it's also been the season of Bobby - we have seen him quietly do his thing - showing us how far he has come. Supporting Athena, and having her back at all times, being there to protect his family through the Jeffery and black out arc, especially the way they showed him parenting Harry when he got suspended from school - which was incredibly done and spoke volumes about the family dynamic the Grant Nash family have created. Supporting Michael and David through defend in place and then as they headed off to Haiti again all quiet and stoic but beautiful. Now we're getting to see the really interesting and wonderful relationship he's built with May come to the fore in Mayday - a relationship that, from Bobbys side, has so much more weight and meaning behind because of the way the show has chosen to focus on his relationship to Brooke - a focus that we're going to see the pay off for tonight!

Then there is the firefam - the most important family in the show - the dynamic we've been missing most of the season, but are starting to get back. This has actually been the most interesting thing to look at when i've rewatched season 5 - especially in 5b - Bobby being there for Eddie - as he has been from day 1, but also being able to see that he learnt from season 3 and put into practice (even if it happened off screen) the things he learnt from both the lawsuit arc with Buck and Eddies fight club arc, the way his relationships with both Eddie and Buck have changed and grown.

The most recent and intriguing development for me is the way his trust of Buck has grown and changed in 5 - since the crane climb, Bobby seems to have decided to change tack a bit with Buck - its like a lightbulb went off and its fascinating to watch Bobby giving more responsibility to Buck - the 'power tsar' and clipboard Buck during the black out, seemingly giving him free reign to train Ravi all the way through to handing over a scene to Buck in 5x14 - I can't wait to see if this continues and how it develops. It s actually one of the reasons I think Bobby might know about the will - because this shift times with Buck finding out about the will and it would explain why Bobby has been so accommodating to Buck's reluctance to accept that Eddie wasn't coming back post Christmas and why he didn't so much as raise and eyebrow post Eddies breakdown - when Buck was parenting Chris and looking after Eddie like they were in a relationship and not just friends.

Honestly I am fascinated by this whole dynamic and I will be going over it with a fine tooth comb in hiatus because I feel deeply that its something we're going to see play an important role in season 6 both in terms of the development of Bobby, Buck and Eddie independently, but also in Buddie going canon.

the Grant Nash family and the firefam dynamic are all so closely intertwined through Bobby and its been very engrossing to see it all fall apart around Bobby while he as remained largely 'unaffected' - standing steadfast and true at the centre - it feels very much like we're going to see Bobby break in some way - and then we'll get to see his combined families return the favour!

new iwaoi brainrot just dropped

did i return to tumblr for the first time since 2014 bc i genuinely cannot stop thinking abt haikyuu after my most recent rewatch? yes.

did i create a whole storyline for iwaoi based off of one album ive been listening to too much recently? also yes.

ive been listening to woman on the internet by orla gartland an unhealthy amount and functionally created a songfic abt iwaoi's relationship over the years bc i am just Like That(TM). if u decide to read all of this, i highly recommend listening to the album while u do. great album, 100000/10

this ended up WAY longer (and angstier) than i anticipated, tho idk why i expected anything different. enjoy!

things I've learned starts us off, as iwa's general background song. he's much more secure in himself than oikawa is from the beginning, which is partially manufactured from being friends with oikawa since they were kids. since oikawa has a tendency to get really upset with himself and bogged down by his own insecurities, iwa is always the one reminding him to keep his eyes on the goal and to take things at this own pace. iwa kind of has to be the stronger one for oikawa in those moments of weakness; oikawa is there for him too, but he just has more insecurities than iwa does generally. this song starts us with iwa's general messaging to oikawa throughout middle school and starting high school.

you're not special, babe IS THEIR THEME SONG. this song is all iwa reminding that oikawa is doing well, digging him out of the holes he sticks himself in, and constantly being the pillar of strength that oikawa needs to build himself back up each time he falls. i think this song applies a LOT in high school, post-altercation with kageyama, at the start of oikawa being starting setter, and oikawa's constant need to prove himself. this IS iwa reminding oikawa that they're in this together, and he'll always have him to lean on.

more like you is oikawa's admiration of iwa. this gets us into mid-first year high school, like around spring tournament. iwa's unwavering confidence, his ability to always lift oikawa up, his assurance that there's no setter and no friend he'd rather have than him. this is oikawa realizing he loves iwa, realizing he's bi/pan, and trying to learn how to take care of himself all at the same time. it's simultaneously full of love and heartbreak, the idea that he can't tell if the tightness in his chest after iwa scores off his emergency set is from jealousy or adoration. oikawa staying up late watching videos about being lgbtq+ in a country that's not very welcoming to gay people, trying to learn who he is and trying to love that, his struggle to want to be less of a burden to iwa and wanting to be able to stand next to him proudly while grappling with a new part of himself. wondering if he really can stand next to iwa when oikawa's feeling this way about him and doesn't know how it'd be received.

over your head is from iwa watching oikawa fall into the same habits from middle school after losing to shiratorizawa twice first year, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and failing over and over and over again to push it aside. it's iwa watching oikawa clearly struggle with something and refuse to tell him about it, it's watching oikawa pull away bit by bit and isolate himself because he feels responsible for their losses, feels responsible for having these emotions towards iwa and not being able to face him until they can stand proudly at nationals. (iwa doesn't know that first part, obviously). "it feels like drowning" is oikawa, struggling with feeling like he's losing everything; losing in his passion, and losing his best friend because he can't stand to look at him when he feels like he has caused so much pain for the team.

zombie is iwa's response to oikawa from over your head. he's sick of oikawa's "coping mechanism" of isolating himself when he hurts, unable to really process his feelings. it's iwa being tired of oikawa always pushing him away right when he knows oikawa needs him the most. he just wants oikawa to stop staying late after practice, stop furthering injuring himself, stop watching videos until 3am on game days and showing up to classes with darker and darker eyebags. he wants oikawa to take care of himself for fucking ONCE. he's not gonna be patient and wait for oikawa to get it together, because he's been trying that, and oikawa's only getting worse. this peaks after oikawa injures his ankle right before the practice game with karasuno third year, and they have a huge fight right when it happens. luckily, they work it out, and they're back to normal for the practice match itself. the rest of third year passes without much incident.

madison is iwaoi post-graduation. this starts off from oikawa's perspective. oikawa confessed to iwa at the end of their third year at the neighborhood park they'd met at when they were kids, after they celebrated their graduation with matsukawa and hanamaki. iwa didn't take it very well, was so shocked he just stared at him blankly. oikawa ended up leaving and they haven't really talked since, and now he's in argentina and going through the worst home sickness in his life; not only for japan, but for the person he has always been able to rely on. he's alone, really and truly, for the first time in his life. "do you ever think about me just pouring my heart out?". oikawa regrets confessing, wishes he's just kept his fucking mouth shut the way he had for three years prior, because he took the most meaningful relationship in his life and feels like he fucked it all up. iwa, during this time, is just trying to grapple with the idea that oikawa likes him; he doesn't even know what to do with that idea, feels awful for leaving him on radio silence but thinks anything he would say would just make it worse. slowly but surely, the space between them widens.

do you mind? is oikawa learning to deal with the distance. they had a weird, stilted conversation where they somehow avoided talking about the confession, and silently agreed to never bring it up again so they could keep their friendship. it's better for a while, iwa talking about his classes, oikawa complaining about the culture shock, both bonding over having to learn new languages, but then iwa gets a girlfriend second semester. and oikawa pulls away, because as much as he loves his friend, it's too painful to watch someone else have what he wants. oikawa slowly retracts back, not picking up phone calls, one-word responses to texts, excuses about team bonding and perfecting a new serve making him too busy for their weekly video chat. wondering if iwa even notices that they don't talk as much anymore or if he's too busy with his girlfriend. it still hurts, but it's a duller ache than last time. it's less sharp, less acute, but it never really goes away. iwa not wanting him isn't new, but iwa wanting someone else is. and that makes it more manageable, but also so much worse than before.

codependency is the breaking point (and my favorite song on the album). this is iwa and oikawa realizing, separately, that they've always relied on each other. their lives are intricately linked, and every up and down they've had together. it's the two of them wanting to be free from their relationship for the first time. iwa wants to go about his life without having to think about someone else, how it would affect them, and what they're thinking or feeling at every moment. oikawa is tired of waiting around and pining after someone who will never see him that way. they both cut off communication at this point. they are their own people, and they're gonna live their lives the way they want to. iwa breaks up with his girlfriend because he realizes he was looking for someone to replace oikawa and wants his own life. oikawa goes to brazil and this is when he meets up with hinata (and brazil fling is CANON i will not accept any other answer). they're getting over each other and standing independently for the first time ever. and it hurts like a motherfucker, but it feels like the right thing to do.

pretending is oikawa seeing iwa for the first time in years at the olympics. he's seeing the ways iwa grew without him, and he's not going to sit there and mope about it anymore. he's tired of pretending that he and iwa didn't hurt each other in so many ways, tired of brushing off iwa's response to his confession (or lack thereof). iwa is looking at him in a way he's never seen him before, but oikawa is over it. he's done waiting around. oikawa is sticking with the argentinian team, barely sparing iwa a glance. he's not letting iwa hurt him anymore. he'll dance with who he wants, he'll flirt with who he wants, and if he catches a glimpse of hurt on iwa's face as oikawa chooses an athlete from a different country to take back to his room, that's on him. iwa had his chance and he gave it up years ago.

left behind jumps between iwa's and oikawa's perspective during the championships. iwa watching oikawa go about his own business and barely look at him. the first verse is all iwa, realizing that maybe he doesn't want to let go of oikawa, that even being strained friends was better than watching oikawa pretend he doesn't exist. oikawa is seeing iwa have this epiphany, catching oikawa's arm in a hallway and trying to talk to him again, but he's tired of iwa only wanting him at an arms length. it hurt too bad to watch iwa walk away from him, but seeing him again, he doesn't know if he's able to walk away in return. it's iwa's turn feeling what oikawa did back when iwa had a girlfriend, never even commenting on the confession. iwa's mom asks him how oikawa is doing, and he doesn't even know how to answer. they're both realizing they don't want to be left behind, but don't know how to approach their relationship with how deeply they've hurt each other over the past few years.

bloodline / difficult things is where their relationship comes to a head. they're both back in miyagi after the olympics, visiting home during the break. back in the park the confession took place in, remembering the events that took place here and how it irreparably changed their friendship. it's the place they realize they have the chance to put the ways they've hurt each other behind, to forge a relationship again from the ground up. to try again. but the feeling floats around all the same: can they do this? can they avoid the arguments and the radio silence? they've never really, truly talked about their relationship. they've been functioning on misunderstandings and unspoken agreements for years because they thought they didn't need to talk about it. in high school it always seemed they could read each other's minds, but now they meet as strangers. and maybe it's time to fix it. and for the first time in years, they sit on the swings where they met as kids, and they talk until the morning breaks.

if u somehow stuck it out for the full thing, thank u!! plz lmk what u think of it. yes, i am overly emotionally attached to both iwaoi and this album. byeeee