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#whump humor
whumperofworlds · 2 days
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GUARDS! Whump this man!
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No you don't understand I need to see him crawling, covered in blood, horrifically injured, and traumatized
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abhainnwhump · 6 months
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Trying to interact with the rest of your fandom as a whumper:
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whumpster-dumpster · 5 months
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Oh no, I'm about to make it much worse 😈
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whumpdoyoumean · 3 months
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From Rahul Kohli's Instagram story
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the-bloody-sadist · 6 months
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Guys I would like to propose a conversation on why whumpblr has the most wholesome fandom coding and yet every whumpblr introduction post I ever see sounds like this:
“Hiiiii everybody! I’m new here, nice to meet you! I’m a bit shy, but I’ve been around for a while reading whump posts and thought it was finally time to join in! Here are some of my favorite tropes!!!!! ❤️😘🥰💕
LIMB CHOPPING, ANAL FISTING UNTIL PROLAPSE, TOE REMOVAL, REPEATED HEAD TRAUMA AGAINST THE SHARP CORNER OF A WALL, CRITICAL ORGAN ABUSE, FORCED CONSUMPTION OF BROKEN GLASS
If you guys are into that, let me know!! 💕💕💕💕 I follow back!”
You guys sound like the sweetest serial killers in the world
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whumble-beeee · 24 days
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Crack Prompt: Welcome to the Whumpee Store!
(aka totally not bbu what do you MEAN)
Whumpees stacked on shelves grocery store-style
Different aisles for different types of whumpee ("No ma'am, this is actually the conditioned aisle, the defiant aisle is on the other side of the store, aisle 9.")
Workers that are TOTALLY not whumpees themselves probably
Or maybe that teenager helping you really is just your average dead-eyed retail worker. Basically the same thing at this point anyway.
"Sir, that's the price for a fresh unaltered whumpee. You can mold them however you want."
"You want me to do YOUR JOB for you?! What kind of establishment is this?!"
On that note, whumpees made to order
You want a medium-sized defiant whumpee that'll start crying and freeze up the second you turn the lights off? Say less.
Tags on the more dainty and dewey-eyed whumpees that say "Torture with Care"
"Mx., you broke the warranty when you threw your whumpee down the stairs. The instructions clearly state they're meant for household chores only, you'll have to pay full price for a new one."
Whumpees in those sealed plastic action figure boxes, forced into a single pose for. however long it takes you to buy them please buy them they're begging you please PLEASE PLEASE THEY CAN'T TAKE--
Whumpees staring hopefully (or fearfully) at every potential customer that walks by.
BARTERING. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. WHUMPEE.
Customers trying to get the conditioned whumpees to crack so they don't have to pay as much for them.
"I'm not sure this whumpee is trained as well as you say, I'm gonna need a demonstration"
Living weapon whumpees locked behind those stupid glass cabinets that you have to get a store attendant to unlock for you if you want to get at one
^Exotic/rare/expensive ones too
Thank you to all my friends on the Whump World server for all your suggestions and enabling me :) I probably have more too, but this was getting long lmao
@whumperofworlds | @randowhump | @kira-the-whump-enthusiast | @whumpninja
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whumpees · 7 months
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I want both 🙂
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jordanstrophe · 7 months
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I don’t know why, but I love the concept of caretaker being terrified for whumpee’s safety that they just grab them by the arm and yank them. It’s not gentle, it’s not even careful, it’s just a pure forceful yoink.
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whump-or-whatever · 1 year
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Defiant whumpee who copes with (dark) humour dialogue
• • •
Whumpee: *standing in line for the teller at the bank*
Whumper: *walks in wearing a ski mask and waving a gun* “This is a robbery!”
Whumpee: *very matter-o-factly* “Actually, sir, this is a bank.”
• • •
Whumpee: *being held at gun point as hostage*
Whumper: “I’ll do it! I’ll shoot them!”
Whumpee: “do it, no balls”
• • •
Whumpee: *in captivity, being interrogated*
Whumper: “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, you’ll get the whip again”
Whumpee: *eyes wide* “You can’t! My cellmate and I were using the grid to play connect 4 and I was winning!”
• • •
Whumper: *throws a wet rag at whumpee after torturing them* “Clean yourself up.”
Whumpee: *gasps, whispers* “Master has given Dobby a cloth.”
• • •
Whumper: “I’m going to enjoy torturing you until you scream. I can’t wait to see you broken and hear you begging me for mercy.”
Whumpee: “Seems to me like you’ve got some deep-seated emotional issues. Have you considered seeking professional help?”
• • •
Whumper: *walks in later than usual*
Whumpee: “You know, if the teacher is 15 minutes late to class you’re free to go. I think the same rule should apply here.”
• • •
Whumper: *laughs evilly at whumpee’s pain*
Whumpee: *mocks their laughter*
• • •
Whumper: “Nobody is ever going to come for you.”
Whumpee: “I bet that’s what your ex said when they dumped you.”
• • •
Whumpee: *is given plain bread to eat*
Whumpee: “Would it kill y’all to invest in some peanut butter? Mayonnaise? Anything?”
• • •
Whumper: “You’re worthless. Nobody loves you and nobody ever will.”
Whumpee: “In other news, water is wet.”
• • •
Whumper: “You look so nice covered in your own blood.”
Whumpee: “I bet I’d look even better covered in yours. Let’s try and see.”
• • •
Whumpee: *being moved with other prisoners, singing quietly* “They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.”
Other prisoners: *chanting softly* “To Isengard, to Isengard.”
Whumper: *shakes their head incredulously*
• • •
Whumper: “I will find you.”
Whumpee: “Oh, wait! I know this one! And when you do, you’ll kill me, right?”
• • •
Whumper: “Tell me what I want to know!”
Whumpee: *sing-songy* “Gimme gimme never gets, don’t you know your manners yet?”
• • •
Whumper: *goes to stab whumpee*
Whumpee: *dodges and grabs the knife from whumper*
Whumpee: “That’s what I like to call a pro gamer move.”
• • •
Feel free to add your own!
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whumperofworlds · 2 days
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Whatever you do, do NOT imagine your blorbo bound and gagged, covered in blood, and crying. Do you understand? Do NOT imagine it! Nope. Nada.
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echoingalaxies · 6 days
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Whumpee is kidnapped. Whumper threatens them with torture if they fail to do the daily tasks they are given. Whumpee spends the first night awake shaking with terror, dreading what Whumper is going to make them do the following day, but in the morning Whumper walks into the cell, throwing their phone at Whumpee and is like “you’re going to help me pass this fucking frustrating Candy Crush level or else…”
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whumpberry-cookie · 1 year
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Whumpee's mind is really fucked up and they never voluntarily show it.
But the circumstances do.
(Cw: magical whump, mention of waste fluids)
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An Empath that they freshly met strongly refuses to even be in the same room with Whumpee. No one understands why except of Whumpee themself.
A Mind Reader tries to get inside Whumpee's mind for some reason. Focuses, closes their eyes, places a hand on Whumpee's forehead. But then sudenly gasps, breaks the connection and runs out of the room to vomit.
There's some terryfying situation that makes all of the Teammates freeze in mindless fear. Whumpee however stays focused and takes actions to protect the rest. Because Whumpee's used to being in constant stress and fear.
"I trade my magical services for human memories. Pick one person from your group to make the sacrifice of their past. Anyone except of that guy over there. I don't want theirs."
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He’s so pretty… I want him to be grievously injured
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whumpster-dumpster · 8 months
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All you whump artists are so talented 💕
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